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2015-10-11
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But you are in my head, tangled in my dreams

Summary:

Bokuto furrows his eyebrows, hands on his chest, face looking genuinely confused.

“Do you know why, Konoha?”

Like hell Konoha does.

Notes:

Happy belated birthday Lily!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

"I wonder why? Lately when I'm around Konoha, my heart beats faster."

Sarukui turned his head, pupils wide. Washio stopped talking mid-sentence. Komi dropped the ball he was going to pass to Akaashi. Akaashi’s eyes widened by one-twentieth of a centimeter. Konoha thought he was going to die from coughing on water and probably a heart attack.

"Excuse me?"

"I don't know why, but," Bokuto furrowed his eyebrows, his face looking genuinely confused. "It's so weird, I thought it’s beating really fast just ‘cause I’m pumped up for practice as usual, but I don't feel like this when you're not around,” he said, then paused as his eyes moved to glance at the fox-faced boy. He scratched his head while the others kept blinking their eyes and moving their pupils to Konoha and Bokuto and each other. "Do you know why, Konoha?"

“Got a cold or something, maybe,” the blonde blurted a reply, randomly.

“No way! But it’s been a week?!”

“What are you talking about, Konoha, Bokuto can’t catch a cold in the first place, ‘coz y’know, idiots don’t catch colds.”

“Wha—I don’t want to hear that from you, Komiyan!”

"Well well, both of you are immune from cold so,” Konoha said, a grin when both of Fukurodani’s stamina balls said “What did you say?!” at the same time. “It’s about time we go back to practice. Look, Onaga’s already calling us. I’m going first.”

Akaashi was probably the only one who caught a glimpse of Konoha's cheeks when he walked away.

 


 

It started in second year. He was in the same class as Bokuto, who was unsurprisingly as loud in class as he'd been on the court.

He wouldn't say they were BFFs, but they’d been hanging out together after class (more specifically, Bokuto would sort of tail him wherever), and the captain had invited himself to Konoha's house more that he could count, so he guessed they were pretty good friends. But then again, everyone was pretty good friends with Bokuto, so it wasn't anything special.

At first it was his hair. Konoha's 6-year-older sister had always wanted to be a hairdresser, so she’d done a lot of experiments on him; he was brown- then red-haired before he settled with blonde (she wanted eye-hurting pink next but he’d shot her a don't you dare glare). It was thanks to her as well that girls had actually came up and asked how he kept his hair so smooth and shiny, and before he knew it, his interest in hairstyling had started to bloom as well. It wasn’t like he wanted to be like his sister, but damn, braiding someone’s hair was really calming and he felt like he could do it forever. Plus, not even she could do it as neat as him.

"Your hair," Konoha absentmindedly said one time Bokuto dropped by his house to do a group history assignment. "I think it'll look good spiked."

"What?" Bokuto, who was totally doing his share of the work by reading the latest volume of Men’s Non-no magazine, turned his head to the slightly-younger. Konoha looked at him and realized he’d just said his thoughts out loud.

"Ah no,” he replied, slightly shaking his head. “Sorry, it was nothing.”

"No, what did you say?"

Konoha sighed, it seemed that the captain had heard him the first time. Knowing Bokuto, it would be faster to actually say it and get it over with, the blonde thought and decided to reply, "Uhh, I said I think you'd look good with spiked hair."

"REALLY?" Konoha had to flinch a little at the sudden increase in Bokuto’s volume. After being friends with him for a year, one would think he’d gotten used to it.

"Yeah, how do I say it, it... matches your personality?" Konoha said carefully, eyeing the wide-smiling owl in front of him. "And uhh, I think it'll look cool on you."

"OOHHH," was Bokuto’s reply, stars were twinkling in his eyes. "I was just thinking that my hair's too long and I want an image change! I wanted to shave my hair ‘coz I saw a movie with Wasshi and Komiyan the other day, and the main character was so cool!! So I thought, hey, if I shaved my head I’d totally look as cool as him!” Konoha almost chuckled out loud. Man, he'd love to see Bokuto bald, maybe he shouldn't have said anything just now. "Hey, your sister works in a beauty salon right? Do you think I can ask her to style my hair?"

"If it's just styling, I can do it," Konoha replied. "I've watched her done a bunch of stuff on my hair, and I've done some styling to myself before, so…”

"Really?! That’s awesome! Please do it!"

"Wait—now!?"

"Of course!"

Konoha muttered something along the lines of "what happened to our history assignment" but stood up to get scissors, hair dryer and some wax anyway.

For such a brawny guy, Bokuto sure had soft hair, was Konoha’s first thought when he touched the hair of the boy seated in front of the mirror. His hair felt nice and smooth in Konoha’s fingers, though that softness did make it harder to style. Good, more of a challenge, Konoha thought.

He did his magic with some trimming here and there, and had to chuckle a few times seeing Bokuto’s excited face from the mirror, with “ooohhh”s and “ahhhh”s whenever the blonde was turning the hair dryer on or trimming something or just moving in general.

“Alrighty,” he said as he sealed the last strand of hair with a touch of hairspray, a satisfied smile forming on his lips. “I had an image of a horned owl because of your name, so I sort of loosely based your hair like one. Well, hope you like it.”

“Like it?!” Bokuto half-shouted (or, by normal people’s standard, plain shouted), the stars in his eyes even brighter than before. “You’re kidding right? I love it!” he added, staring at the mirror while moving his head around to see his new hairstyle from all angles. Konoha laughed. “Thanks Konoha!!”

The blonde scratched his head with a grin, he was used to Bokuto’s over-the-top honesty but still the praise had made him feel a little embarrassed. “It’s not that much.”

“What are you talking about! It’s amazing! You’re amazing!” the ace said as he looked up to look Konoha straight in the eyes, a smile emitting a day worth of sunshine outlined his lips. The slightly-younger widened his eyes, he’d seen that face so many times before—Bokuto was an easily excited guy, after all—but for some reason… It felt different. Was it the smile? The eyes? The fixed gaze upon Konoha? The fact that this was probably the first time they’d ever been this close? He tried to think of what was happening, but before he could figure out, the then-black-haired added with a beam, “Thanks a lot, Konoha!”

It was the first time Bokuto made Konoha’s heart skip a beat.

 


 

The second, third, fourth, umpteenth time didn't come too long. When Bokuto placed a hand on Konoha's shoulder and practically yelled a "HOW ARE YOU TODAY, KONOHA?" to his ears ("I was fine until you broke my eardrum"). When he waved Konoha a "see you tomorrow!" after they parted ways on their way home together. When he called from across the street asking if he wanted to drop by for ramen. Heck, even when they were eating and he burned his tongue with the ramen’s soup and almost made a mess, Konoha chuckled and thought it was cute before he froze and frantically asked himself did you seriously thought Bokuto was cute and not in an elementary student kind of way?!

 


 

Days, weeks, and months passed. Konoha kept telling himself that it was just a stupid high school crush or whatever it was, and that would pass with time. Life, however, didn’t seem to agree.

It was autumn in their third year. He was hanging out at Bokuto’s house. Sarukui was there earlier but he had an errand to run so he’d gone back first. Bokuto was talking endlessly about some idols on TV and kept asking Konoha who his type was, to which the blonde answered randomly every time. Bokuto seemed to take the replies seriously, but Konoha was more interested in some scrabble-like smartphone game his classmate had introduced earlier.

“Hey Konoha! How about this one?” the bouncy ball of energy asked again, and thankfully Konoha had cleared the level before Bokuto shoved a gravure magazine into his lap. He raised an eyebrow as his eyes skimmed the page.

“Uh, I don’t know. The second one from the left, I guess.”

“I thought so!”

“You thought so?”

“Most of the ones you’ve chosen all have long, black hair! I found out Konoha’s type, hey heeeey!”

The one I really like is you, though, Konoha thought, and a second later suppressing the urge to punch himself in the face for thinking of such a cheesy line, moreover about Bokuto. Dammit, this wasn’t good, he had to talk about something, anything to shut his stupid brain. “Hey Bokuto did you hear—”

Konoha stopped as he realized that Bokuto’s face was less than 5 centimeters away from his. Well, it wasn’t unusual, Bokuto was infamous for his lack of personal space, after all. But usually it was in public, other people were around so he could just push that face away after freezing for half a second. Not, you know, when they were alone in a closed space together.

It was the first time they were in that situation. It was the first time Konoha stared at him for more than 5 seconds in that distance. It was the first time Bokuto stayed silent the whole time.

It was the first time Bokuto touched his cheek and said, “Konoha, you have really pretty eyes!”

It was the first time Konoha hurried home with one hand covering half of his face.

 


 

So when Bokuto said that it had been a week, Konoha knew why. He was pretty easy to read. And to predict too, usually. Emphasis on “usually” because, on some occasions, he’d do something no one would ever expect. Like suddenly appearing in front of Akaashi’s doorstep at 10 pm in a desperate attempt to study for an English exam the next day (“Um, Bokuto-san, you do realize I’m in a grade lower than you, right…?”). Or barging into the clubhouse on an early October morning and asking people in jackets and scarves, “Who’s up for some swimming while the sun’s out??” Or practically asking about his feelings to Konoha in front of everyone, in front of Konoha himself.

And that followed with his intense stares to the blonde whenever he moved.

Konoha was told later that his face had a very strange mix of a grin and a pair of furrowed eyebrows all throughout practice.

 


 

That night was a long night for Konoha.

What should he do now? Should he be happy? That was practically a confession, though the person himself didn’t realize it. Should he tell the captain what that meant? But somehow, that didn’t feel right. Should he wait? Actually, was Konoha too conceited for thinking that it was a confession? And if it was, then what? In the first place, did Bokuto even know what it meant to like someone? Did Konoha know what it meant to like someone?

Damn, this was all too confusing. He guessed he’d just play it cool until he’d figure out what to do. 

 


 

Except Bokuto would never allow that.

"Konoha Akinori!!"

Konoha almost choked on his rice ball as he heard a familiar voice yelling his name from the school's speaker right after some popular pop song was playing. He was having lunch on the roof with a couple of classmates, who also stopped eating at the mention of their friend's name. Konoha glanced at them while they were staring at him. They looked confused, Konoha more so.

"Konoha! I talked to Saru!!" he began talking. His yelling voice was accompanied with muffled voices of the broadcasting club members saying, "What is that person doing?!" but someone else shushing them in the background. "I went to your class and the cafeteria but you weren't there! I passed by the broadcasting room and thought this was a faster way to find you!"

Konoha blinked his eyes. Wait, was this guy stupid!? Cell phones exist for a reason!

"So anyway! The president let me in and oh, I talked to Saru!"

Oi club president, what are you doing! And dammit Bokuto, you've said that already!

"Well we talked a lot actually, we were talking about the practice match next week, and I’m really excited! We’re gonna take down those Nekoma guys for su—oh, sorry, right. Anyway, I talked to Saru, and he made me realize something.”

Konoha felt his throat dry, like there was a rock blocking an upcoming gulp. He knew where this was going. He knew right from when he heard Bokuto’s voice calling him, he knew what the captain meant when he said he “talked to Saru”, he knew, and he was clinging to a hope that Bokuto wouldn’t finish off what he wanted to say, because goddammit, this was the school radio and everyone could hear this and—

"I think I like you, Konoha!"

Konoha felt a wave of emotions swept through his body as those words echoed inside his brain. His brain froze, his arms stopped moving, he couldn’t even blink. He knew that a few seconds ago, he’d been wishing, begging so much for Bokuto to stop. But somehow, somehow, right now, he felt really...

“Thank you very much!!” Bokuto’s loud voice came again from the speakers, so loud that it made a high-pitched sound that made Konoha and his friends flinch a little. The president was saying something like it was a pleasure to help him and that he would never refuse something like that, and told the listeners to “feel free to come up to the club if you’d like to do a similar thing, we’re always glad to assist.” (Aside from Komi, Konoha couldn’t think of anyone who would do something like this. Wait, even Komi probably would be too embarrassed to do it. Bokuto was probably the only—wait, this wasn’t the time to think of this).

"Uhh, Konoha?" one of his classmates called, and his thoughts was brought back to reality. "Did the volleyball club captain just confess to you via the school radio?"

Konoha looked to the ground, playing with the karaage between his chopsticks. "He did, that idiot..."

“So, uh,” the other classmate said, clearing his throat. “You… coming downstairs or something?”

Konoha wanted to frown. He wanted to facepalm, he wanted to shake his head, he wanted to scream, he wanted to throw something dramatically to the ground, he wanted to show how upset he was at the whole situation, but the curve at the ends of his lips betrayed him.

“Nah, I’ll wait til practice,” he answered, as calm as he could, the karaage escaped his chopsticks and back to his lunchbox and he slipped a quiet “ah.” Damn it. Damn it, damn it, damn it! He’d thought about this a lot. He’d failed to pay attention in class multiple times because of this. He’d been confused at times and frustrated at others about this. He’d lost precious hours of sleep over this. But it seemed that the other party did not put as much of thought into it.

Konoha felt like he’d lost this time.

He looked up to the sky with a sigh, thinking of how he should smack some sense into that dense guy later, and maybe also tell him that their feelings were mutual.

 

 

Notes:

Title from Radio by The Corrs