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Every time Vanitas went out with Noé in tow, he was dumbstruck. It was only two days until Christmas and snow was fluttering from the sky, covering the streets of Paris with beautiful thin layer of pure white powder – and Noé, as always, looked as though he had never seen anything like it.
— Look, Vanitas, look! he exclaimed, stretching his arms wide and admiring the snowfall with shining eyes.
— It's just snow. You've seen it before, Vanitas said.
— But winter feels so different in Paris compared to the countryside. Christmas too! There are so many people in Christmas mood, doing their shopping!
Vanitas couldn't help but watch this man in awe. His childlike joy and purity made his heart feel warm in a way he wasn't used to at all – and that also made him scared. It was like Noé was shaking his very foundation, and he felt completely unarmed in front of him. A man like that could make one feel terribly safe, or make one's heart bleed without meaning it.
— Come on, Noé, he said then, — we have some shopping to do as well, remember?
The vampire shifted his eyes to Vanitas, whose ink black hair fluttered beautifully in a light breeze, and delicately-shaped snowflakes had fallen on his hair, creating an endearing contrast. As Noé saw this sight, his cheeks blushed, and Vanitas, without knowing why he was admiring him, felt suddenly awkward. He had to look away and hide his face, in case he too blushed despite himself.
Noé had looked at him with those puppy eyes of his this morning, asking whether they could celebrate Christmas together somehow. Vanitas wasn't actually a Christmas person, but since Noé kept insisting, he promised he would prepare the two of them a Christmas dinner. The hotel would have probably had everything they needed, but this time Vanitas wanted to choose his ingredients himself – and so here they were.
— Vanitas, wait! Noé said, — I've been wanting to ask you something.
— What is it?
— Since Paris is so beautiful, do you have any favourite place here in the city?
Vanitas was quiet for a moment. Then, his expression turned into something Noé had hard time discerning. The man looked at the vampire as though he had just realised something – but whether it was pleasant or unpleasant, Noé couldn't tell.
— Vanitas? Is something wrong?
— My... favourite place..., Vanitas muttered, unable to say anything more.
— Yes? Noé nodded.
Right then a snowflake fell into Vanitas' eye and startled the human, snapping him out of it.
— Agh! Cold! Vanitas grunted. — Noé, we honestly must get going!
He grabbed the vampire with him, and with his heart still pounding rapidly, he left his question unanswered.
**
When they returned to the hotel, they occupied the kitchen. Of course, Vanitas only told Noé to sit down and watch – otherwise he would surely just mess up everything. So, Noé watched with his eyes open wide in amazement. Everything Vanitas did seemed like pure magic to him. Dish after dish he prepared Christmas foods as though it was child's play, his hands moving so delicately, but firmly, without making one single mistake.
Turkey, oysters, cheese plate, the Yule Log, chocolate truffels... there was nothing this man could not do. Beautiful aromas filled Noé's nose, and the longer he looked, the more he wanted to taste something. He tried to snatch one of the truffles, but Vanitas detected his hand instantly and slapped it.
— No! We only eat them at the Christmas dinner, the human reprimanted him.
— Please, Vanitas, Noé begged, teary-eyed, — just one. I want to taste something good.
Vanitas stared at Noé's sulking face and couldn't help but chuckle a little. Their eyes met again, and for some reason they both froze. Vanitas could hear not only his own but also the vampire's heart drumming. He closed his eyes to calm himself down, but his mind was instead filled with the desire to let Noé drink his blood. He had let him do it once, but had never allowed it since, afraid of where it might take him. And his body felt so touched-starved sometimes that he could hardly comprehend it. This silly vampire made him yearn for things he had long since denied from himself.
Being close to someone. Someone being tender to him, touching him.
Vanitas shook his head and opened his eyes. He looked miserable for only a split second, but Noé noticed it.
— Vanitas, he said with a gentle voice, — what's bothering you today?
The vampire got up from his chair and walked over. Vanitas looked at him in the eye reluctantly, saying nothing. Then he sighed and cleaned his hands with a towel.
— You said you wanted to taste something good, he began.
— Yes! Noé replied excitedly. — Anything is fine! Whatever you wish to give me.
— Close your eyes. And no peeking.
Noé did as he was told, waiting patiently. Then, after a moment, something warm and soft touched his lips. Noé startled, letting out a quiet moan, but after he collected himself, he suddenly realised what it was.
A kiss.
Vanitas' lips had a delicate taste to them, mixed with his scent there was a hint of mystery, of loneliness, but also alot of gentleness.
When the lips parted with his, he opened his eyes, completely flushed. He stared at Vanitas in a daze, his heart racing so much that he felt dizzy. And those beautiful lips were still so close to him, he could have easily reached for another kiss.
— Vanitas..., Noé whispered.
This man's blood tasted divine, but his lips were almost as good. Everything about this human was so intoxicating, Noé could hardly compose himself.
— You asked me what my favourite place in Paris is, Vanitas started with a low voice, looking absentmindedly into the vampire's eyes.
— Yes?
— The truth is... My favourite place..., Vanitas started, searching for right words, — it is... by your side.
An embarrassed blush rose to Vanitas' cheeks, and he didn't quite know whether to look at Noé or not. In the end, he cast his eyes down.
— Ever since the incident with Mikhail, I... No, the truth is, even longer than that... you have been... my safe place.
Noé listened to him intently. Then he took his hand gently to the human's chin and lifted it up. Their eyes met again.
— Noé–, Vanitas began with a quiet voice, but his sentence was cut off by the vampire's lips.
Vanitas let out a muffled sigh. He leant back against the table, as the vampire's lips claimed his time after another. Noé's arms circled around him, and Vanitas blushed. The sensation that enveloped him was that of safety, of willingness to let down his guard in this moment and trust in this vampire, who was so kind and gentle it was sometimes hard for Vanitad to believe that a person like that truly existed.
Then finally, their lips parted, and they both stared at each other in a daze.
— What did I... just do? What just happened? Vanitas felt the need to dissapear, to rebuild the wall around him, and he covered his flushing face with his hands.
— You just kissed me, Noé said solemnly. — Is it so bad, after I have already tasted your blood?
Vanitas didn't know whether to nod or shake his head. Time and time again, he kept giving more of himself to Noé.
— But I am honoured, truly, I am! Noé said with an honest, tender voice. — That being beside me can bring some relief to your pain.
— I'm not in pain.
— Yes, you are. You don't always show it, but there's terrible suffering inside you. I know. You let me see it, Noé continued and gently moved Vanitas' hands to see his face.
— I just..., Vanitas began without knowing what to say.
— I love you, Vanitas, the vampire squeezed his hands warmly.
Noé blurted it out so suddenly that it almost made Vanitas jump.
— I know it's hard for you to say it. But I know now what this feeling in my heart is, and I think you share this feeling with me.
Vanitas was speechless. He just stared at Noé as though the vampire had just ripped open the last locked doors of his heart, and suddenly slumped to leant at him, burying his face against the vampire's chest.
Noé embraced him gently, sensing how nervous he was.
— Damn it, damn it! Vanitas muttered against his chest.
Noé stroked his back tenderly a few times, and since Vanitas said or did nothing to indicate he wished him to stop, Noé continued. It took a while before Vanitas calmed down.
— Vanitas?
— ...I'm alright, the human mumbled.
He raised his head, looking much more composed. Even a little smile curved on his lips, making his face look soft.
— I don't know what to do with you, honestly, he said.
His delicate hand landed on Noé's arm and caressed it carefully.
— But I feel terribly hungry now, so let's take these dishes to our room and eat.
— But they were supposed to be for Christmas dinner–
— I'll make some more, Vanitas smiled.
He brushed Noé's lips softly with his fingers. It was as if he would have liked to kiss again, but held himself back. Noé, however, didn't hold back, but grabbed his wrist gently.
— Just kiss me if you want.
And before Vanitas could do anything, their lips were sealed together again, and he did not push Noé away. Instead, he circled his hands around his neck and melted to the kiss.