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they had gone through this routine many, many times. Veritas almost regretted how often they had done this, but it was to Aventurine’s insistence. Veritas simply obliged.
they had been through this song and dance a number of times ever since they got together, and while Veritas insisted there was not a single problem with never having intercourse— Aventurine said that he wanted to.
of course, Veritas would not deny Aventurine of it. but there was absolutely no chance he’d push Aventurine beyond any boundary. the worry of the man building up his walls again had always been such a big thing to Veritas, he would never ever give Aventurine any incentive to ever lock him out—
so, when he walks inside and he feels a hand tugging at his robe. urging him forward and closer, bend over, more and more— Veritas obliges. leaning forward and meeting his boyfriend’s lips in an open-mouthed kiss. with half of his mind on the task, he kicks the door shut with his hand. Aventurine maneuvers Veritas’ back against the door, he hears the click of a lock and they part for a moment.
“good evening to you too,” Veritas said. there’s a slight tilt to his head as he stares at the blonde who had him pinned against the door. Veritas raises a hand to brush Aventurine’s cheeks. the other practically melts into the touch.
“you took a while.” Aventurine says flatly, his tone calmer than it would normally be. his eyes are half-lidded, Veritas presumes he must be tired. maybe a bad day at work? then Aventurine would need to rest, perhaps some stress-relief—
“let’s try again tonight.” Aventurine mumbled. moving closer to Veritas.
Veritas staggers, his mind screeching to a halt as he stared at the blonde man who was clinging tightly to him. “pardon?” he blinked. once, then twice. unsure if Aventurine was bearing serious. his hand gently comes to cup Aventurine’s cheeks.
“did something happen?”
“…no.”
“you’re lying.”
“don’t wanna talk about it.” Aventurine buried his face in Veritas’ hand. Veritas didn’t move his hand away from him, but sighed. the man had a few issues with being honest about what was on his mind, Veritas assumed that was a poor result of his up-bringing.
“are you sure you’re in the right headspace?”
“mmm…”
oh. that’s not a good sign.
“Aventurine.” he calls, concern lacing his voice as his brows furrow slightly. Aventurine grimaces and buries his face in Veritas’ chest. his hands wrapped around Veritas’ waist. “I don’t want to push you—“ “you won’t.” “hush. let me speak. will you?” Veritas says, gently urging Aventurine to meet his eyes.
“if we will be doing this, I do want to know what’s on your mind.”
“…”
“Aventurine.” Veritas said again, his other hand gently removing Aventurine’s arm from his waist. he grips Aventurine’s hand and raises it to his mouth. fingers pressed against a gloved palm and mouth trailing over fragile wrists. “if you truly do not wish to tell me, I won’t force it out of you. but I do not wish to attempt intercourse with you while you are in a poor state of mind without knowing why. I don’t want to make it worse.”
a gentle kiss to his wrist. Aventurine almost flinches away. Veritas’ movements halt.
“…please, I don’t want to make it a bad memory.” Veritas said.
“…interviewers asked about the commodity code earlier today.” Aventurine admitted. “a lot of people ask me about it— I was just a little ticked off today. I was already in a bad mood when they came up to me, then mentioning the mark I—“ Aventurine’s brows furrowed. he looked down at the ground. “I got mad. then they asked if all Zygonians had a temper like mine and I just—“ Aventurine sighed.
“it doesn’t bother me normally. I was just in a bad mood at the time and I…”
Aventurine stops talking and looks back up at Veritas. Veritas’ lips are still resting on Aventurine’s wrist. he looks almost sad, but his expression is still as unreadable as ever. “and let me guess; it’s now a viral video on the internet?”
Aventurine groaned in response, and that was all the affirmation Veritas needed.
“I detest them,” Veritas mumbled, his lips still on Aventurine’s wrist. then they move, to his palm. and they bite at the leather glove. “I don’t understand how you avoid getting angry at them.” Veritas said, his teeth pulling the glove up and up. Aventurine’s breath hitching as the leather glove is slipped off his hand.
“you deserve to be mad,” Veritas mumbled. with his hands pressed against Aventurine’s fingers. gentle, loving, soft. the direct opposite of what his co-workers would imagine his behavior with his partner. “you deserve to yell at someone whenever they pry into your history.” Veritas said. kissing Aventurine’s knuckles. the glove forgotten on the ground.
you deserved to yell at me. went unsaid.
“it’s fine.” Aventurine mumbles.
“then I’ll be mad in your place.” Veritas said, Aventurine swallowed thickly. averting his eyes, Veritas’ thumb brushed over Aventurine’s lips. he leaned forward to kiss the other man’s lips. slow, soft, loving, an apology.
“this isn’t how I imagined it—“ Aventurine mumbled against Veritas’ lips as Veritas’ fingers intertwined with his. “it’s not what you imagined, but it’s what you need.” Veritas said, before separating from Aventurine and moving away. dragging Aventurine to their bedroom.
“I don’t need you to treat me like I’m porcelain.”
“but you need someone to care enough to be gentle.”
Aventurine doesn’t dignify that statement with a response, Veritas doesn’t pry.
up the stairs and winding through the halls. they’re in the bedroom. sandals and shoes kicked off. door shut behind them as Veritas gently urges Aventurine onto the bed to sit down. Aventurine concedes, Veritas kneels in-between Aventurine’s legs. hands on the other knees.
Aventurine’s hands fidget and curl on the bed, he’s not sure where to put them.
“…I still don’t need you to act like this.” Aventurine mumbles.
“but I want to act like this,” Veritas mumbles. nosing at Aventurine’s thigh. “believe it or not—“ Veritas gently crawls onto the bed. looking down at Aventurine. “I want to treat you gently, Aventurine. I’m not your enemy.”
“I know that.”
“yes, yes, you do.” Veritas urged Aventurine further up the bed. Aventurine obliged. Veritas climbed onto the bed, still kneeling in-between the blonde’s legs. “so you know that I’d never hurt you.” he mumbled, moving closer to press a kiss on the corner of Aventurine’s lips. the man shivers.
“that I’d never wish harm on you,” Veritas continues, lips trailing down Aventurine’s cheek and chin, down to his neck. open mouthed kisses on the blonde man’s neck. earning a shiver and a small gasp from the man. Veritas’ hand reaches up to tug at his shirt collar, at the choker wrapped around his neck.
“that I’d never take advantage of you—“ Veritas noses Aventurine’s neck. the man is silent now.
“no matter how many opportunities you’d give me to.” Veritas said, calmly. as he undid the choker around Aventurine’s neck. letting the article fall off of his neck. he glances up at Aventurine’s eyes, looking for approval or rejection. they’re hazy, pupils dilated, trained on him.
“I would never,” his hand comes to Aventurine’s collar. and he begins to undo the man’s shirt. “ever,” his lips ghost over Aventurine’s collar bone. “hurt you.”
“you’re being slow,” Aventurine mumbled. blush covering his cheeks as Veritas paused. “I don’t want to overwhelm you.” he explained, and Aventurine scoffed. but it sounded more like an exhale to Veritas— but what would he know? he didn’t object, anyways. so Veritas continued peppering kisses across Aventurine’s collar bone as he undid his shirt. then his chest.
Aventurine took a few labored breaths as Veritas continued muttering reassuring phrases towards him as he removed his shirt. his back flat against the bed as Veritas stared down at him, his robe halfway undone and Aventurine’s shirt mostly off.
“you’re beautiful.” Veritas assured him. he watches the way Aventurine’s expression flickers, and Veritas grabs Aventurine’s wrist against. kissing the bruises present on the wrist. “all of you.” he repeated.
“do you want to keep going?” Veritas asked.
Aventurine didn’t respond.
“Aventurine.” Veritas called.
still no response.
“Aventurine—” “don’t stop.”
Veritas’ brows furrow. “are you sure?” he searches Aventurine’s expression again. it’s not pinched or uncomfortable, but his eyes are closed and he’s breathing through his mouth. he doesn’t want to upset him.
when they had first tried to have intercourse, it had been a rather… awkward situation, undiscussed boundaries and a general lack of knowledge on what to do on both sides led to Aventurine panicking and shoving Veritas off the bed in a panic once Veritas had attempted to undress him. the lack and presence of control was something Aventurine was very sensitive to.
after a lot of discussion, they decided on a few things. they’d never try to bite each other or scratch each other. restraints were completely out of the picture, and they’d never try messing with power dynamics. ever.
Aventurine was thankful for that last one.
“I’m sure.” Aventurine nodded, and with careful hands— Veritas began to remove Aventurine’s pants now too. they had gotten this far most of the time. yet, Aventurine often got self-conscious of the scars on his legs halfway through and demanded Veritas stop. other times, he felt too confined, too out of control here.
a steady breath, his brows furrowed in concentration— Veritas watches Aventurine try not to panic.
“you don’t need to force yourself.”
“I want this, Veritas. I want this.” he assured him.
Veritas continues to slip the man’s pants off, lips pressed against a soft thigh and muttering quiet praises and words of affirmation and comfort. calming him down and keeping him steady.
“breath, you’re doing so well.” Veritas assures, muttering comfort against Aventurine’s thigh as he shakes.
“are you sure?” Veritas asks again as Aventurine’s pants are nearly off. “Aeons, just hurry up Veritas—“
Aventurine receives a gentle flick to his forehead. snapping himself out of his stressed state. Aventurine blinks fractically. his face turning an embarrassing shade of red, Veritas smiles.
“you’re doing good Aventurine, I’m so proud.” he praises. moving close for a kiss. Aventurine’s breath stutters as Veritas’ lips met his.
“Aventurine?” he asked, almost worried. “I’m here, I’m okay, I just—“ Aventurine’s eyes fluttered. “needed a moment. you’re so cute when you’re all worried about me.”
Veritas’ brows furrow in embarrassment. “shut up.” he mumbled, Aventurine giggled a little.
Veritas moves backward to undress himself for a moment. dragging himself out of his outfit and slipping off the robe. unclasping his shirt and throwing it haphazardly to the side. slipping off his pants as effectively as he could. essentially leaving him in only his underwear—
he glances up and sees Aventurine licking his lips. his face turns red.
“shut up, don’t say anything—“ Aventurine chokes out as Veritas chuckles. “I wasn’t going to.” he said. there were no longer any clothes between them, save for their underwear. Veritas is still kneeling in-between Aventurine’s legs, but the man’s back is pressed against the bed. he looks good like this, lying down.
“are you—“
“if you’re going to ask me if I’m okay again I’m actually just going to kick your dick.”
now that…
that makes Veritas giggle.
“you don’t need to always be so…” Aventurine’s voice goes quiet, his brows furrowing. “so loving towards me, you know?”
“didn’t we go through this?” Veritas sighs almost fondly. “I just want to.” Veritas said. “I want you to be happy, safe,” Veritas continues. leaning down kiss down Aventurine’s chest against, the man’s breathing hitching as he gasped. his back arching slightly as Veritas’ breath fanned over one of his nipples.
“I want you to be loved, held.”
“I don’t want to be.”
“yes, but I want you to be,” Veritas said. pressing a kiss to Aventurine’s chest, Aventurine puts a palm over his mouth and gasps into his skin. “you may not perceive yourself as desiring or needing such a feeling, but—“ Veritas’ other hand goes to play with his other nipple. not leaving it unattended as he kisses and licks at the other one.
“in my research, people tend to desire it. being coddled.” Veritas said, moving closer and closer to Aventurine.
“I want to coddle you, Aventurine.” Veritas said, and to which— Aventurine huffed. gently shoving the man away. he moved, as stiff as a rock as Aventurine paused to look at Veritas.
“…I still don’t get it.” Aventurine said. “I don’t understand why you care about me like that.”
“unfortunately, I cannot provide you with an answer.” Veritas said, brushing blonde bangs out of Aventurine’s face. looking at him softly, as if he hung the world. Veritas knows he would have plucked a star out of the sky for this man. hold a stellaron, if he so asked him too.
he would tell Qlipoth to go fuck themselves, even.
maybe.
that’s still up for debate,
“the human heart is a mystery.” Veritas said, looking down at Aventurine. “love is an impossible equation and variable one must always account for. unfortunately, you are my answer. and I am yours.”
“I understood none of that, no wonder your students hate your class.”
“oh, shut up.”
Veritas chuckled, before leaning forward to catch Aventurine’s mouth again. as if this was his answer; it created a paradox. the answer was reliant on the question, you could not prove the answer without the thing being questioned. and you could not question the thing without the answer…
such dilemmas constantly bothered Veritas; but not this one. never this one.
“we’re almost there.” Veritas mumbled against Aventurine’s mouth. his eyes shut as he felt Aventurine shift underneath him.
“well then? hurry up.” he demands, as if he is a brat. the concept makes Veritas laugh. Aventurine is the last thing from a brat, or a slut, or whatever names partners tend to call each other nowadays. Aventurine is the best thing that has happened to him. he would not dare dream of calling him such… degrading titles. even if he asked for it.
Aventurine is the farthest thing from a brat.
“as you wish.” Veritas hooks a finger on the waistband of Aventurine’s underwear and he watches the man swallow and breathe in and out. as if panicked, almost. Veritas’ eyes soften just a little as he moves down. leaving a trail of kisses across Aventurine’s chest and stomach. down to his pelvis. each kiss makes the blonde man squirm. arch his back for more, grip the sheets—
Veritas pulls Aventurine’s underwear down to the point where his dick is finally free. he hums quietly, staring at the hardened and leaking member. “you’re already dripping.” he comments, staring at Aventurine’s dick. casting his gaze up at Aventurine’s face and—
“Aventurine?”
Veritas quickly moves up. putting a hand on Aventurine’s cheek when he notices his pinched expression. “what’s wrong?”
“nothing is wrong I just— I—“ Aventurine’s eyes crack open and stare at his own erection. he grimaces, his brows furrowing. Veritas’ fingers brush over his cheek. he presses a kiss on the man’s cheek.
“do you want to con—“
“yes.”
“…then tell me to stop the exact second I do something you don’t want.” Veritas says, before moving back downwards to deal with Aventurine’s dick again…
he wraps his fingers around it, earning a surprised moan from Aventurine. this is one of the farthest they’ve gotten so far without Aventurine calling it off… he’s doing well.
“you’re doing good.” Veritas mumbles, moving closer to press a chaste kiss on Aventurine’s stomach. “you’re so good. so good for me.” Veritas said, pumping Aventurine’s dick. the man panting into his hand as his brows furrowed shut. “you’re so beautiful.” Veritas assured, as Aventurine’s panted into his hand. little ‘ah’s and ‘hng’s slipping out as pumped his cock.
eventually, Aventurine came with a wry cry on Veritas’ hand. Aventurine panted, chest heaving as he stared up at Veritas with half-present eyes.
“you’re so beautiful.” Veritas commented, moving to kiss Aventurine’s forehead. “you’re doing incredible, Aventurine—“ Veritas kissed Aventurine’s nose, but Aventurine pulled him into his own kiss. punching out a surprised noise from his mouth.
“…put it in me.” Aventurine mumbled, Veritas’ eyes widened.
“are you sure? this would be the first—“
“I’m sure, I want it… I can do it.” Aventurine nodded. as if affirming it again, Veritas blinked wildly.
“are you—“
“I’m going to punch your dick, Veritas.”
Veritas sighs, before kissing Aventurine again. another apology. softer, more gentle this time. “I’m sorry.” he muttered quietly against Aventurine’s lips. “…am I being annoying with how much I’m checking in on you?” Veritas asks, searching for a genuine answer.
“…a little.”
“do you want me to ask less often next time?” Veritas ponders.
“…dunno, let’s talk about the rest— after?” Aventurine asks, blinking up at Veritas. there’s this soft gaze in his eyes as he nods. he reaches over for the bottle of lube in the nightstand drawer— (which they, unfortunately, have never used before. at least, not often. Veritas has sometimes used it by himself… he’s just a human, alright?)
“I’ll be gentle.” he assures Aventurine as he pours a generous amount of lube on his fingers. probably more than he needs— he just doesn’t want to risk hurting him. “I’m going to put a finger in now, relax.” Veritas said, as his finger pressed against Aventurine’s rim. earning a little yelp from the blonde man as his breathing spiked. he was tense, Veritas gently massaged Aventurine’s thigh.
“Aventurine, breath.”
“I’m trying—”
“I’m not mad.”
“I know!”
“I’m not going to hurt you.”
Aventurine is silent.
Veritas’ first finger pressed in, and Aventurine gasped. his legs twitching as Veritas gently held Aventurine’s leg on his shoulder. urging him to spread his legs apart so he had easier access. “ah-ah… feels weird…” Aventurine mumbled, his brows furrowing and unfurrowing as he shook his head. “feels— Veri—“
Veritas bends his finger. Aventurine mewls.
“are you okay?”
Aventurine swallows and nods. Veritas’ brows furrow.
he curls his fingers again, and Aventurine’s back arches. little gasps and squirms leave Aventurine’s mouth. Veritas is careful and methodical with how he works Aventurine open. how he gently spreads him apart for his entrance. “you’re so good.” Veritas mumbled, kissing Aventurine’s bare leg as the man underneath him came undone.
“hngh— Veritas…” Aventurine glanced up at Veritas, eyes fluttering. Veritas nodded, nosing Aventurine’s leg. “I’m here, Aventurine. I’m here.”
eventually, a second finger is worked into Aventurine, and Veritas’ is more so prioritizing Aventurine’s pleasure here than anything else. his fingers moving and curling, trying different angles in a search for that one spot—
“hangh!—“ Aventurine gasps, biting his lip as his hands tightened in the sheets.
“oh?” Veritas tilts his head. “did that feel good?” he asks the squirming blonde, still reeling from just having constellations revealed to him from underneath his eyelids. a small bit of drool on his chin. “uh… uhuh. it’s good—“ he said, almost kind of stupidly. in a good way, of course. Veritas was fascinated with how Aventurine reacted to each of his movements. the way his breathing would pick up or the way his voice would shake—
Veritas feels his dick straining against his underwear, furrows his brows in concentration and tells himself later. he doesn't want to hurt Aventurine.
he almost removes his two fingers before thrusting them back in, trying to hit the same spot again. he's focused, he wants to make Aventurine feel good. wants to hear him say how good it is, he wants—
Aventurine chokes out a sob, Veritas immediately stills as he blinked rapidly. his hands pausing as he stared at Aventurine's face. "Aventurine?" he called out. his tone spiking in concern as he stared down at the teary-eyed man beneath him.
"Aventurine," he called out again. "are you listening? hey—" Veritas leaned over Aventurine. who had tears flowing down his cheeks. he was immediately worried, already anticipating that he had made Aventurine upset.
"s… 's good." Aventurine mumbled, raising one of his hands to wipe his eyes. "just keep going." Aventurine mumbled, his eyes pinched shut as Veritas frowned. he moved forward to kiss the tears off of Aventurine's cheek, feeling bad for having made the man cry. his face was all flushed and his eyes were all teary, Veritas would have regarded it as cute if not for how concerned he was over his boyfriend. he'd rather die than misread Aventurine's vulnerability.
"I'm going to put a third one in." he mumbles against Aventurine's cheek. "then I'm going to make you cum on my fingers," he says, moving his lips back to Aventurine's lips. his breath fanning over the man's mouth. "if that's okay with you?" Veritas says, glancing up at Aventurine.
"you… won't fuck me?" Aventurine asks.
"...you're already crying so I-"
Aventurine shuts Veritas up with another kiss, his breath still shaky and tears in his eyes. he breathes in and out. "please," Aventurine mouths against Veritas' lips. lilac eyes slowly meeting crimson eyes. "I don't want to bore you," Aventurine admitted. wiping at his eyes, Veritas' expression fell.
"Aventurine," he calls out. concerned. "do you think that not having intercourse would bore me?" Veritas said. his voice was completely shell-shocked. how could Aventurine— his lovely, incredible, precious boyfriend think a lack of sex would ever bore the Veritas Ratio?
Aventurine doesn't respond, and only averts his eyes. "I have told you and assured you, that intercourse is the least of my concerns. it does not affect my opinion if we do or don't have sex—"
"but it's the ultimate way you show love as a couple." Aventurine said, and Veritas removed his fingers from Aventurine's hole. the man whimpering at the sudden lose as Veritas laid on-top of him. sighing as he nosed at Aventurine's neck.
"aeons, did no one ever teach you about sex?" Veritas mumbled, Aventurine huffed and hit Veritas on the side of his head.
"ow," Veritas said. even though it didn't really hurt. "sex is simply a thing humans and individuals do to reproduce, Aventurine. it says nothing about how much two partners adore each other… nor is it in human nature to be 'bored' when one does not have enough intercourse with their partner—"
"you're talking to me like I'm a child." Aventurine mumbled, Veritas furrowed his brows. "my apologies, but sex has nothing to do with romantic attraction."
"oh."
"oh indeed, now… since the beginning of our relationship, is this why you wanted to have intercourse. even against your own comfort?"
Aventurine doesn't respond.
Veritas sighs and buries his face in Aventurine's neck, kissing the commodity code in his neck and his jaw. "I really can't believe you'd sacrifice your own comfort in an effort to 'please' me." Veritas mumbled, Aventurine covered his eyes with his hands. "shut up… it felt good."
"did you want it for the reasons of purely wanting it, or because you had thought I wanted it?" Veritas asked, mumbling his question against Aventurine's pale skin. "did you ask because you were sexually attracted to me, or because you thought I was sexually attracted to you?"
"...dunno."
"that is fine." Veritas mumbled.
"I'm not hard at all anymore." Aventurine says, calmly. Veritas hums. "neither am I."
a beat of silence. the two lie there, doing nothing. until Aventurine speaks up again.
"is it really fine if we never have sex?" Veritas puts his hand around Aventurine's waist and sighs.
"it is." Veritas said. "I do not love you for your body." he said, Aventurine didn't respond. simply quietly wrapped his arms around Veritas' neck and shut his eyes.
"is it weird if I feel like that?" Aventurine asked. "that I don't want to have sex, unless it's to appeal to someone else." he continued, and Veritas hummed as he laid in the man's arms. no longer hard despite the two essentially being naked against each other… they were just… they were just lying together, nothing more.
"I don't think it's weird."
"until I met you, I hadn't actually felt much sexual attraction before." Veritas admitted.
"oh." Aventurine said, sounding sad.
"I'm not upset at you, don't get any ideas." Veritas shut his eyes and combed a hand through Aventurine's hair. "if you don't want to have sex, we won't. if you don't feel like ever having sex with me, that's fine. I won't get bored. I won't find someone else." Veritas affirmed. he couldn't even process the idea of it. leaving Aventurine for something as shallow as physical pleasure? Aventurine offered Veritas an entire new world to explore, he'd never trade that for something as simple as a good fuck.
"because I love you for you, Aventurine." Veritas assured.
"...I love you, Veritas."
"I love you too."