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Dazai has never been particularly attracted to the sea.
The sea is beastly and chaotic and quite unpredictable, especially at the time of a suicide attempt. That's why rivers are his favorites in the first place: One flow, one direction, an enveloping yet gentle death in the way poetic things are.
Still, Dazai is able to recognize that the sea has its charm: Infinite, free, powerful.
Made for telling and listening to stories, Odasaku once said. And Dazai thinks it is.
He also believes that the sea is a lot like Chuuya, a wild energy framed in the most beautiful, wonderfully irrepressible appearance. It makes he like this seascape he are in front of a little more.
Dazai close his eyes and took a deep breath, feeling the warm sand under his feet as an anchor to stay in the present moment. Chuuya led them to a lonely beach, a piece of nature completely empty except for them and the seagulls, so there weren't too many noises that could count as distracting. The silence is, in fact, very surprising and different from the city. Dazai wishes he had known that sooner.
"Alright," said Chuuya, who was standing right behind him, one hand on Dazai's back, "Now just... try to... focus on the sea breeze and all this shit, and look for... Your power?... inside you... that..." stammers the redhead, evidently very out of his element. It's funny that he's trying so hard for this (and kind of adorable in a way that tickles Dazai's chest).
"Dumb slug, what a bad teacher," Dazai complains petulantly, just to irritate him and to downplay a moment that makes his stomach twist as if his intestine were going to twist (they call it anxiety, apparently), "Do you mean to do a motivational speaker course?"
"I'll break your face to see if you can keep calling me a dumb slug with two teeth missing," Chuuya snaps, but he sounds embarrassed around the edges and Dazai loves it.
"I will could"
"Sure thing, idiot. Now, shut up and focus," Chuuya growls, "Don't think I don't know what you're doing."
Dazai opens his eyes, turns to Chuuya and looks at him with feigned innocence, batting his eyelashes, "And what does Chuuya think I'm doing?"
Chuuya rolled his eyes, but his expression softened a bit, "Trying to act like this doesn't affect you. But I know you, Dazai. I know when you're nervous."
"Me, nervous? Please, Chuuya, when have you seen me nervous?" Dazai tried to play his part, but the tension in his shoulders and the uneasy look in his eyes gave away the truth.
"Dazai."
What if I activate it and I can't deactivate it again?
Chuuya gently tapped him on the head when Dazai took too long to respond, "Don't worry so much. If something goes wrong, I'm here to kick your ass and fix it. I'm that cool." he smiled proudly.
"Ah, how your blind confidence in your abilities reassures me," Dazai replied sarcastically, but his voice trembled slightly.
Probably the worst problem right now is that Dazai knows how to do it, he knows how to find his ability. He just...doesn't want to touch No Longer Human. But he must do it, right? It is important for the Agency. For the fights to come. It's even for his own protection (something Chuuya has made a very annoying emphasis on, his goofy protective dog).
Chuuya huffs and steps in front of Dazai, right in front of him, grabbing the collar of his shirt with both hands and pulling it down until their noses touch. Dazai is still fascinated by the feeling that arises in his chest whenever Chuuya approaches him or touches him in that way.
"Let's make a deal, mackerel," Chuuya proposed, his hot breath brushing Dazai's face. "If you try hard and manage to control that ability of yours, I-"
"I want ice cream." Dazai says immediately, "As many flavors as I want to try. And kisses. Lots of kisses," he demands, not giving Chuuya a chance to offer his terms. Mastering a negotiation has always been his specialty.
Chuuya was going to give him all of that anyway, probably, but the guarantee of tying him up in a deal to give it to him, even if it's stupid... Well, even now that good feelings lull his heart, it's still a lot easier and more comfortable for Dazai to collect a debt than to simply accept a gift.
"Yeah yeah, whatever, bandaged leech."
"Promise me."
"You're a brat."
Dazai stares at him.
"Fine! You fucking idiot, I promise. Do you want me to sign a fucking contract?" Chuuya grumbles, but Dazai can tell by his relaxed posture and the tone of his voice that he's not really upset. He is worried and forgiving and moderately irritated. It is the perfect combination for a balanced Chuuya.
"Would Chuuya do it?"
"Don't push your luck, stupid mackerel," Chuuya pats him on the back, "Now, get to work. Or there's no reward."
"My slug is sooo bossy," Dazai sighs dramatically, but then finally closes his eyes and concentrates.
His ability is there, within his reach. No Longer Human opens before him like a cave of ice pieces, dormant but present.
Dazai doesn't want to touch it, he doesn't want to be devoured until he no longer feels hunger or fear or love. He wants to bury it, suffocate it, mutilate it.
But in the end, it is the same love that he does not want to lose that makes Dazai tap into his ability.
When he opens his eyes, the ocean in front of him looks infinite. Still chaotic, unstable and inconvenient for a suicide. Still equal to Chuuya, still the reason for stories for Odasaku. But those are all thoughts. In reality, Dazai looks at the sea and there is nothing.
Nothing.
He is empty.
Dazai moves his feet in the hot sand and doesn't feel nothing. He feels the ocean breeze on his face and there is nothing.
Nothing Nothing Nothing Nothing Nothing Nothing-
"Oi"
Something.
A hand on his cheek. Without gloves. Chuuya.
Dazai looks at him.
Blue eyes with fire in them. Lots of orange. Orange. Orange. It smells like strawberries from expensive Chuuya's shampoo when Dazai buries his nose in it. A mouth that screams much more than it whispers. A hand on his cheek. Soft skin. Mine.
Dazai's heart races. His cheek is warm. His chest dissolves like a crash of dying galaxies creating a new one.
"Dazai, oi, look at me" Chuuya says, and Dazai finds it an absurd request because... How could he look at anything other than Chuuya right now?
No Longer Human turns off as quickly as it came on.
That easy.
It is gone.
Dazai lets out the breath he was holding.
Of course it's gone.
"Dazai, you with me?"
The brunette smiles. It's so genuine it hurts. Before he realizes it, he presses his cheek closer to Chuuya's touch, as if seeking the contact and the feeling it produces in him.
"Yes," Dazai responds, surprisingly soft, "Yes. I... I'm back. I can-"
Dazai moves away from Chuuya's touch (with difficulty, but he is a man of strong will, thank you very much) and looks out to sea as he touches No Longer Human again.
Nothing nothing nothing nothing-
Look at Chuuya.
Something.
"Dazai?"
He turns it on again. No Longer Human is cold. So cold. Empty.
He deactivates it again. Easy. Love and fear swirl in his chest.
Turn it on. There is nothing. Just objective thoughts and logical conclusions that he, in fact, can do it. Dazai can handle No Longer Human and not the other way around.
Finally.
"Dazai!"
Dazai deactivates it. The feelings surround him like the waves that are currently lapping the shore of the beach against the sand.
His cheeks hurt, he realizes. A moment later, Dazai discover that it's because he's smiling so much.
"Stop turning it off and on like a fucking switch!" Chuuya shouts, his little patience having melted like ice cream in the sun, "You're going to break yourself, you bastard," he growls, one hand firmly wrapped around Dazai's wrist (warm, beautiful).
Dazai might explode now. In the best of the senses.
"I'm not. I'm- I'm-" Dazai frowns, stopping. Although he wouldn't trade his emotions for anything, one of the things he hates is how they dull his brain when they're too strong (a matter of adaptation, he supposes).
Chuuya's frown softens.
"Take a break, mackerel. This is new. I don't want to have to throw us off a building again," the redhead huffs, rubbing circles with his thumb on Dazai's bandaged wrist.
"That was a beautiful near double suicide!" the brunette comes alive. He feels ecstatic.
Chuuya seems on the verge of knocking him out with a single well-calculated punch, "Shitty Da-"
"I got it, Slug. I can do it," Dazai interrupts, a sudden tinge of seriousness in his words, "After all, nothing is as easy as returning to Chuuya." he states, because in the end it comes down to that.
Dazai can hug No Longer Human all he wants because in the end he will always follow the path back to Chuuya (known, memorizable, unique). It's that easy.
Odasaku was right, as always; Beauty is found in simplicity.
After all, nothing is as easy as returning to Chuuya.
The idiot Dazai says it like that, lightly. He always does that shit, throwing bombs like that at Chuuya like they're not the profound statements that they, in fact, are.
Chuuya is momentarily speechless. The light blush on his cheeks intensifies, and he clenches his teeth, trying to hide the dizzying beat of his heart.
And, as always, those words, in Dazai's casual tone and mischievous smile, spark a spark inside him.
Damn, Chuuya loves this idiot so much.
"What the hell is going on in your head, Shitty Dazai?" Chuuya growls, but his tone is far from aggressive. It's more like hot candy that hardens and feels so deliciously sweet against the tongue (the Dazai effect), "Do you think you can say something like that and get away with it?"
Chuuya challenges him, because he can do it. Because that's how they two are. Because he's embarrassed by the way Dazai so easily makes his chest do antigravity cartwheels. And also because the redhead is terribly relieved: This turned out well, Dazai played a twinkling Christmas light with his ability, but it turned out well. His boyfriend doesn't look scared anymore. It's a good change.
Dazai smiles innocently, but his eyes drip with amusement. And happiness, Dazai is genuinely happy. Rivals of a billion dollar masterpiece.
"Get my way?" the brunette hums, playing along, "No, I just like seeing the expression on Chuuya's face. It's quite a sight."
"You're an idiot, you know that?"
"An idiot who knows how to make the Great Chuuya Nakahara blush," Dazai replies, with a low laugh.
Chuuya, unable to resist the provocation, crosses his arms, "I'm not blushing," he states, being perfectly aware of how hot his cheeks feel, "You're annoying."
Dazai approaches, a playful smile on his face, "Oh, Chuuya, you don't need to be ashamed to admit that my presence excites you."
The redhead snorts and looks away, but there's a warm glow in his eyes.
"Do you really think everything is as easy as coming back to me, idiot?" Chuuya murmurs, softer this time. More seriously.
The ocean wind pleasantly blows their hair as they look at each other for a moment.
Dazai, detecting the change in Chuuya's tone, lets his guard down a bit, "No... not everything. But with you, things always find their way. I always know how to find my slug."
I love you, Chuuya thinks, damn, I love you.
He says, clearing his throat: "That's...that's good, yeah" and without being able to help it, a satisfied smile forms on his face.
Dazai comes back to him. To Chuuya and no one else. Trust Chuuya to bring him back. Just like Chuuya trusts Dazai when The Corruption spike seems to take him past the point of return.
"I could say more," Dazai murmurs suddenly, looking out to sea. Because of course the little shit isn't done shaking Chuuya's heart yet.
"More?" Chuuya raises an eyebrow, although his heart beats a little faster. Longing, wishing.
More more more.
"Yes, but some things are better demonstrated. Don't you think so?" Dazai approaches, his tone of voice so genuine it feels like a trophy, "Would Chuuya like a demonstration?"
Chuuya swallows, feeling the intensity of Dazai's gaze. “Do whatever you want, mackerel.”
Dazai smiles, but this time it's not a mocking smile. It's soft, full of something deeper. In the stillness of that moment, Dazai closes the distance and kisses Chuuya with a delicacy that contradicts all the insolence he usually carries with him.
Chuuya, although he tries to maintain his grumpy facade, can't help but reciprocate the kiss, melting into it and seeking more. He feels the familiarity of Dazai's lips, the way they fit perfectly with his own. It's not a hot, passionate kiss, but rather a gentle reminder of the connection they share.
Dazai's fingers slide along the back of Chuuya's neck, stroking gently, as if he were exploring familiar but always fascinating territory. Chuuya lets himself be carried away by the sensation. No matter how many times they kiss, it's fucking stimulating every time.
"No Longer Human is mine, Chuuya," Dazai murmurs breathlessly when they separate, an inch apart, "It's mine."
I'm in control, the brunette is saying.
There is no one who understands the importance of that concept better than Chuuya.
"Yes, damn it, it's yours, Dazai," Chuuya huffs, pulling Dazai to lean down a little more to press their foreheads together.
"Thank you," the brunette murmurs. Chuuya still marvels that words like that come out of Dazai's mouth.
"I told you, mackerel," Chuuya hums, placing small kisses on Dazai's nose and cheeks. Just as he promised, "I'm that cool."
"I still want those ice creams" Dazai states after a moment of nothing but kisses and the smell of salt, "Chuuya promised me many flavors" he has returned to being his usual brat. And the redhead wouldn't change it for anything (okay, maybe if the wine is too good...)
"Chuuya has to stop thinking about trading me for wine!" complains Dazai dramatically, the sneaky bastard.
"I didn't say anything," Chuuya scoffs hilariously, walking towards the car because they need to go to a more populated area if he's really going to get Dazai to experience the more mundane and fun part of a trip to the beach.
And, because Chuuya has never been a complete altruist, we have to be honest and mention that the idea of a walk like that, normal and fun with no other purpose than to hang out with his partner doing normal beach things... It sounds really fucking good.
"But Chuuya was thinking about it!" Dazai insists, engaging in a litany of complaints as he follows the redhead to the car.
Yeah, Chuuya could get used to this. Moments like this are worth more than the most expensive wine.
Since it is not vacation time, the beach they arrive at is not particularly crowded, just a few people here and there playing in the sand or sunbathing. And of course, carts selling ice cream and candy, so it's hell to convince Dazai to settle in first and then go buy the ice cream. Seriously, he's like a child.
Of course, as soon as they find a good enough place to set up and set up the towels, Dazai throws himself on them and proceeds to turn into a useless marshmallow while Chuuya sets up everything else (all useless things in Dazai's opinion, but apparently a walk to the beach has rules and there are things you should always carry. Who knew?
Honestly, you can't blame Dazai for choosing to sit on the towel and watch Chuuya work, you know? From down there where he sits, he gets an excellent view of Chuuya's butt and how he looks in shorts. Oh really. It's criminal that Dazai went so long without seeing Chuuya like this.
And it's even more criminal that Dazai went so long without feeling everything he feels when he looks at him now. What a pleasant warmth installed in his stomach.
The redhead, in addition to those shorts that allow Dazai to fantasize even if he knows exactly what is underneath, is wearing an open short-sleeved shirt that reveals his naked torso marked by his abs. It is much more casual clothing than its usual style. Still, even those clothes Chuuya manages to give a touch of elegance when he wears them. It's like a scientific anomaly: The Chuuya effect.
Dazai, for his part, is wearing a short-sleeved plaid shirt over the bandages and baggy black pants, both that Chuuya bought him on his last online shopping foray. His slug spoils him a lot with shopping these days and seems especially motivated to improve Dazai's precarious wardrobe. It's as if Chuuya had been waiting for someone to spoil and had brought out his entire arsenal as soon as he got it.
And although Dazai doesn't see much point in having a set of clothes for every occasion, he likes being pampered by Chuuya, so he's not going to complain.
"Do you have a good view from down there, you lazy bastard?" Chuuya snorts as he takes the sunshade, a multicolored monstrous thing, out of the bag. It's a strange image, Chuuya holding in his hands that multicolored umbrella that he borrowed from Yosano (Dazai has a theory that Yosano lent him the most ridiculous umbrella on purpose).
However, Dazai puts aside his ramblings about the parasol to focus on Chuuya's words and smiles mischievously.
"Oh, Chuuya has no idea," he hums, "It's the best sight. Is it even legal to wear something like that in public? It could be considered a weapon of mass distraction," Dazai joked, his gaze sliding to Chuuya's legs.
Chuuya gave him a sideways glance. "At least I have something to distract myself," he huffed, but his smile betrayed that he enjoyed the attention.
"Chuuya is so cruel~"
"Be grateful that I'm putting a sunshade over you so your skin doesn't fall off from a sunburn," Chuuya growls as, sporting a gesture of playful arrogance, he unfolded the sunshade as if he were demonstrating an outstanding feat. "Learn from the professionals, Dazai"
Dazai, always ready to scoff, raised an eyebrow, "I must admit, your skill with a sunshade exceeds all my expectations. I'm touched."
Chuuya looked at him indignantly, which made Dazai's smile widen. As much as Dazai loved Chuuya's expression when he received praise, the brunette also loves to downplay it when Chuuya is showing off. The redhead is outraged in a very funny way.
"You don't need your pathetic mockery, mackerel. Just admit that I'm an expert," Chuuya snapped, burying the parasol in the sand.
"Ah, of course, the one and only Chuuya Nakahara, master of the sunshade. Could you sign one for me?"
"Stop being an idiot, Dazai!"
In response, Dazai simply laughs, lies down on the towels and enjoys the view.
(And Chuuya has to lean on the parasol and look away, because the sound of Dazai's laughter makes Chuuya dizzy)
"Please?"
"No."
"Pleaaaaseeeee-"
"I said no!" Chuuya growls, knocking the bottle of sunscreen out of Dazai's hands, "I'll put it on myself."
Dazai, the bastard, starts pouting.
"Chuuyaaa, don't be like that. I'll be gentle, I promise. It'll be like receiving cotton caresses."
Chuuya raised an eyebrow, clearly unimpressed, "I don't need your cotton petting. Besides, you don't have the hands to be delicate."
"Ah, but I have magic fingers," Dazai replied, moving his fingers in an exaggerated manner as if he were about to perform a magic trick.
"Your magical fingers aren't going to touch my skin with sunscreen. It'll be a disaster," Chuuya replied, refusing to give in, "Besides, who knows what prank you're up to, you troublesome little bastard."
Dazai raised his hands in a gesture of theatrical innocence, "Does Chuuya think I'd betray him with sunscreen? What makes you think so badly of me?"
Chuuya rolled his eyes, "Do you want a list? We can start with water on my console, erase my streak in the game, vinegar in my wine, my fucking ca-"
"Fine!" Dazai interrupts him, before it gets out of hand, "Doesn't Chibi know that resentment is bad for your health?"
The redhead opens his mouth to protest again, but stops when he notices that, beneath the exaggerated pout, Dazai looks...genuinely disappointed.
Chuuya is weak. Damn shit.
"If I let you do it and this ends in some prank, I assure you that revenge will be slow and painful" Chuuya threatened. Sweet empty threats.
Dazai's eyes lit up with renewed initiative as he saw Chuuya finally relent.
"Trust me, Chuuya, I just want to help. Don't you want your skin to remain so soft and beautiful?" Dazai offered a charming smile.
The redhead raised an eyebrow, waiting.
"Maybe I want to touch you too," Dazai admitted after a moment of dead silence.
And well, Chuuya won't object to that.
Suddenly, the idea of letting Dazai put sunscreen on his back without pranks sounds really good. Dazai's fingers running down his back spreading the sunscreen, the brunette's warm breath tickling the back of his neck, the sea breeze enveloping them both...
Also, aren't they supposed to be trying to be normal here? And isn't it the most normal and beachy thing for your boyfriend to put sunscreen on your back?
The redhead takes off his shirt with a sigh (hiding his growing excitement) and lies face down.
"Okay, do it. But I swear if you do anything weird, I'll drown you in the ocean," Chuuya warned, though his lips couldn't help but form a small excited smile as he rested his chin on his joined hands and waited.
"Perfect!" Dazai applauded, looking triumphant, and began applying the sunscreen with almost professional movements (smug bastard). His fingers massaged Chuuya's skin, sliding over his shoulders and arms gently.
The redhead couldn't help but relax a little at the comforting feeling of Dazai's fingers on his back. This is good.
Chuuya closed his eyes, surrendering to the contact as he felt the warm caress of the sun. Dazai's hands, usually so adept at finding others' weak spots, moved now with an unexpected tenderness. The sea breeze mixed with the feeling of the moment, creating a relaxing and pleasant experience. Chuuya can't remember having a moment this calm and easy since... ever.
Dazai didn't make ironic comments or mock; He was just there, enjoying the moment. So Chuuya, for once, also allowed himself to enjoy all that attention he was receiving. The redhead is sure that putting sunscreen on someone's back and arms doesn't take that long, but he's not going to complain, not when everything faded into the background while Chuuya surrendered himself to Dazai's care.
It was nice to let himself be taken care of and receive attention for a change, especially coming from Dazai. Like some kind of valuable and rare gemstone that maybe, just maybe, could become an ever-accessible treasure for Chuuya.
Without realizing it, the redhead let out a sigh of satisfaction that obviously condemned him at that precise moment.
"See? Not that bad, right?" Dazai commented smugly at that very moment, drumming his fingers on the redhead's right shoulder blade.
Chuuya growled lightly, "Don't get too excited. It's decent."
"Ahá"
A moment of silence.
Chuuya clears his throat, "Oi, no one told you to stop."
"Oh, my apologies, I didn't realize there was a spot missing," the brunette hums in a playful voice.
He can practically see the smug smile forming on the bastard's face, but it doesn't matter, Chuuya wins anyway, because Dazai puts his hands back on his back, the sunscreen forgotten to the side.
So fucking good.
Finally, when it is no longer possible to stretch the moment any further, Dazai stops.
"That's it. Chuuya is protected now" he says it in a whisper, almost quietly, something unusual for Dazai. It comforts Chuuya to know from the sound of his voice that for Dazai this moment wasn't just about applying sunscreen either.
The redhead straightens, more relaxed than he has in years, to look at the brunette with an unusual touching softness.
"Thank you, mackerel," Chuuya says in an equally low voice, reaching out and stroking Dazai's cheek with his thumb, "You did very nice."
In response, Dazai suddenly goes still, frozen like a servant in the headlights of a car. Chuuya watches in wonder as the brunette's cheeks turn red and he breaks into gasps that do not amount to words, paralyzed by the minuscule compliment as if his brain has just momentarily broken down. And although he loves the image and wants to praise him until he melts, the redhead decides to give him a break. For this time. It's been a lot of intense emotions for today (for the entire last damn month). He doesn't want the idiot to explode or some shit like that.
So Chuuya will give him a way out.
The redhead's expression changes to a mix of amusement and defiance as he nimbly picks up the bottle of sunscreen.
"Your turn," Chuuya says, opening the bottle of sunscreen with a mischievous smile.
And then...
Dazai didn't have time to react before Chuuya smeared his face with sunscreen, smiling evilly as he did so. "There. You're protected too."
"Bad dog! Now I look like an ugly ghost!" Dazai pouts, trying to wipe the excess sunscreen off his face with his fingers, but also looking much more in his element.
Chuuya laughs, enjoying the show. "Oh, don't worry, you already looked like a ghost before. You're pale as shit."
"Chuuya is envious because I'm not so short that I walk in the sand level!"
"Hah?!"
After a strong wind blows away all the sunshades except theirs because Chuuya held it steady with his gravity manipulation without even having to look, Dazai manages to be insistent enough for Chuuya to stop sunbathing and go get the ice cream.
The cart that sells them has a lot of flavors that leave Dazai baffled for a moment. Can you really experience each of those flavors in ice cream? It's crazy.
Dazai chooses a glass for each available flavor, except lemon, because the memory of when he bit into that lemon in Chuuya's apartment is still very vivid in his head. It was not nice.
Chuuya carries the tray with his gravity manipulation, floating shamelessly in front of them, and Dazai simply skips next to him on the sand, like a Ranpo in a candy store. And although Chuuya is well aware that half of the flavors will have completely melted before Dazai tries them and consequently calls him a brat about twenty times on the way to and from the ice cream, he is secretly quite excited about this.
Lately, Chuuya has discovered that he loves watching Dazai try something new, seeing the way the expression on his face changes to genuine surprise, displeasure, or excitement. It's impressive, every ounce of genuine emotion surging across Dazai's face, and he wants to be there for that show as much as he can.
They both sit under the parasol again, the tray placed in front of them. Dazai looks at the various colors of flavors almost as if he's dizzy. Where should he start?
"If you keep looking at them they'll melt without you trying them, Shitty Dazai" Chuuya huffs, nudging him in the side with his elbow to encourage him to take action. And then, softer, he points out; "Strawberry is good"
Too curious to bite back with something clever, Dazai simply wrinkles his nose, nods, and picks up the cup of strawberry ice cream the same way he would pick up a jar of hazmat: suspicious but curious and potentially interested. With a spoon in hand, he scoops out a small morsel and slowly brings it to his mouth.
The cold hits his tongue, sending electric sensations through his palate. Dazai's taste buds, accustomed to... nothing, delight in the unexpected delight. The way the ice cream melts in his mouth, releasing a sweet coolness that seems to awaken sensations he didn't even know he had (taste buds have an impressive ability to pick up details, it seems), makes him close his eyes to concentrate in savoring. Dazai feels the softness of the ice cream sliding with cold indulgence down his throat, leaving a trail of coolness in its wake. It reaches his stomach like a velvety sigh.
His expression changes from caution to amazement and a smile escapes his lips. "This... this is incredible," he murmurs, amazed by the wonder he has discovered in a simple cup of strawberry ice cream.
"I told you so," Chuuya points out proud and a smile wide enough to imply that he should feel embarrassed curling his lips like that. But it is impossible not to do it. The sight of Dazai enjoying something as simple as ice cream gives Chuuya a visceral surge of affection. In turn, he feels an irresistible desire to kiss the brunette's lips and clean those strawberry-stained corners with his tongue.
"Come here," Chuuya adds quietly, putting a hand on the brunette's thigh to bring him closer.
Unfortunately, Dazai's priorities are different at the moment, and before Chuuya can close the gap and kiss him, Dazai, with grace and agility, slides to the side, dodging the redhead's attempt.
"Later. I want to try chocolate now," he smiles excitedly, grabbing the next glass of ice cream.
However, before trying the new flavor, Dazai wipes the corners of his lips with his own tongue, being deliberately slow. The gesture seems to have every fucking intention of driving Chuuya crazy, and to some extent, it's succeeding.
Dazai, the sneaky little shit, notices a weakness and presses in whenever he gets the chance. Of course he does.
Chuuya watches him go from chocolate to vanilla and then to blueberry. Dazai has evolved to deliberately licking the spoon with those eyes of his now so bright, making damned twirlings of his tongue with fucking feigned innocence, and that's when Chuuya has had enough.
"You are playing with me."
Dazai runs his tongue along the edge of the glass that had coconut ice cream in it slowly, prolonging the moment.
"Me? Play with Chuuya?" The bastard bats his eyelashes, "I'm just enjoying this delicious ice cream."
Chuuya gives him a warning look. "I can throw you into the ocean, Dazai, remember that"
"You can. But I have other ideas that Chuuya might be more interested in," Dazai hums, a mischievous smile hinting at his intentions.
"Same bastard as always," Chuuya growls, and in some completely illogical way there is affection in those words quickly extinguished by the force with which the redhead smashes his lips against Dazai's and steals the little that remains of the ice cream in his mouth.
Half of the remaining ice cream cups melt forgotten, of course, since Dazai has decided that he loves ice cream, but he loves tasting Chuuya much more.
It turns out to be a win win.
They stay until the sun begins to give way to the horizon, painting the sky with a palette of warm tones: Red that merges with orange that merges with violet and begins to tint the scattered clouds.
Dazai has always thought of sunsets as one of the many things that humans overvalue. Yes, he can understand the science of colors and the chemical and associational response they generate in the human brain. He can also understand the physics behind light refraction, but he didn't understand why humans (other humans, he reminds himself) liked it so much.
Dazai thinks he finally understands now. Just like with many other things that your new connection with your emotions has allowed you to understand.
"Oi, Dazai, get out of your head" Chuuya pulls him back. Dazai looks at him. Chuuya's hair is orange, like the sunset.
Yes, Dazai understands now.
"Does Chuuya want to kiss us under the sunset?" Dazai bats his eyelashes with a mischievous smile.
Chuuya rolls his eyes and stands up.
"Yes, no, maybe later. There is something more important that you and I are going to do first." Immediately afterwards, the redhead takes off his shirt.
Dazai looks at him, blank for a moment, then bewildered, "Does Chuuya want to...do it on the beach?"
Chuuya looks at him as if the brunette has grown a second head.
"You-" the redhead seems about to yell at him, unfortunately (because Chuuya yelling is a funny chibi) he takes a deep breath and says his next words calmly and with a hint of annoyance, "That would be exhibitionism, asshole."
"So? You like to show off"
"Not like this!"
Dazai pouts, "Then why is Chuuya undressing in front of me?"
At that, Chuuya smiles, as if that had been the question he was expecting. It's not a pretty smile, it's a dangerous one. Forget the sunset metaphor, Dazai wants to leave before-
"Do you really think we're going to leave this beach without you getting in the water first?"
Yes, there it is. That's why Dazai makes his partnership plans. So that they make sense.
"Chuuya went crazy, did the lack of height finally affect his brain?"
"Fuck you and find a new joke." Chuuya throws his shirt in his face, "You wanted the full beach experience, so let's go to the water. Now."
"It's cold," Dazai replies as he clutches the shirt in his hands and inhales its scent for a moment. If Chuuya notices it, he doesn't say anything about it.
"No, it's not like that. Get your ass up. Come on."
"My bandages are going to get wet," Dazai replies again.
"I'll change them for you myself in the car," Chuuya responds easily, and pulls Dazai to his feet. Dazai allows himself to be dragged along like a child throwing a tantrum, "Come on, I'm not taking no for an answer."
"This is attempted murder. You want me to nearly die of hypothermia twice in a month? Because dying is not supposed to be something I'm trying to do anymore and it would be incredibly counterproductive for me to-"
"Stop being so dramatic and get in the water or I'm going to submerge you to the damn bottom myself," Chuuya snaps, losing his patience.
"Attempted murder," Dazai repeats with complete solemnity, but lets Chuuya drag him to the shore.
When the first waves caress Dazai's feet, the cold sensation makes him jump and plant his feet on the ground, refusing to move further inside.
"Cold" he complains like a child.
Before Dazai can protest any further, Chuuya rolls his eyes, lets go of Dazai's hand, and dives headfirst into the water. Almost instantly, he emerges with a triumphant smile that leaves Dazai feeling like he's dealing with a real sea slug.
"Chuuya finally went crazy," Dazai huffs, glaring at him.
"Mackerel, come! The water is perfect!" Chuuya shouts from inside the sea. He looks like an excited child and the image makes Dazai's heart squeeze painfully because Chuuya never relaxes, never lets his guard down completely, much less openly entertains himself with things like this. But there he is, splashing in the water and smiling as he waves his hand towards the water with a mischievous smile, urging Dazai to join in.
It's the only reason Dazai doesn't tell him his lengthy comparison about sea slugs and instead just huffs and takes a few steps forward, until the water is up to his knees. The water is definitely not perfect.
"Ugh, it's freezing!" Dazai complains, backing away instinctively, "Slug just wants to torture me."
Chuuya rolls his eyes, "Oh, yeah, of course. You found out about me." he responds with sarcasm and a deliciously smug smile, "Come on, mackerel, don't be weak. You'll get used to it."
Dazai takes a couple of steps again. The sensation is a mix of shock and numbness partially camouflaged by the bandages weighing down his ankles, but he soon begins to get used to it. However, the brunette decides that knee height is his limit.
Meanwhile, Chuuya has started swimming in a circle around Dazai, like a shark around its prey, "See? It's not that bad."
"Chuuya is enjoying this too much," Dazai murmurs.
"Your wet cat look? Definitely," Chuuya says, and with all the intention in the world, he splashes water on Dazai's back.
"Chuuya!"
Chuuya laughs, splashing away from Dazai. It's a beautiful sound.
Like a dog in water, Dazai thinks, and looks at Chuuya to complain, but all the words die on his lips the moment he sets his eyes on the full image. Chuuya is beautiful, and the sea is beautiful and the sunset is beautiful, but those last two things are beautiful only because he is with Chuuya, and Dazai thinks that, in the end, this is the beauty of being on the light side of the world. that Odasaku spoke. Because right now Chuuya's light is blinding him, and he would gladly go blind if that were the price for this.
The thought suddenly overwhelms him, and tears begin to fall silently down his cheeks without him being able to stop them or understand them.
How much light...
Dazai is crying.
As soon as he notices it, Chuuya is scared and swims towards Dazai with agile movements, crossing the water with ease. Worry paints his expression as he approaches, and his eyes desperately search Dazai's face for any hint of what's wrong. He doesn't really know how to deal with tears even on a good day, but when it comes to Dazai, his instinct is to just be there.
"Dazai? What the fuck? Are you okay?" He asks, the words coming out fast and laden with concern.
"I am" Dazai puts a hand to his face, feeling the tears with his fingers. He frowns, frustrated with himself, and mutters, "I swear I don't know where the tears are coming from this time."
Chuuya's scowl deepens, but he believes him. Dazai is getting better at recognizing his emotions and his body's responses to them, but it's a slow process, "Are you hurt somewhere?"
"No," Dazai responds, the confusion on his face evident. Chuuya examines him carefully.
"So, can you tell me what you feel?" Chuuya asks, trying to figure out what's going on.
Dazai looks at the horizon, now dyed in furious shades of red and orange, and, aware of his tear-stained cheeks, he says softly, "I'm so...happy."
The words fall like a whisper, but they carry a weight that fills the space between them. The surprise in Chuuya's eyes mixes with something deeper, and he sighs in relief, calming down instantly. His expression goes from concern to understanding, and even a small smile appears on his lips. He stares at Dazai tenderly.
"Sometimes we can cry from happiness too, idiot. It's normal," Chuuya says, wiping the tears from Dazai's cheek with his thumb, grateful that there's nothing really wrong.
Dazai pouts playfully, "Emotions are complicated and stupid."
But Chuuya doesn't play along, he wants to talk about this, "So you're so happy you cry, huh?"
Dazai make a face. Even small genuine expressions like that are fascinating on his face. The brunette looks at the sunset and then at Chuuya.
"Things have meaning," he says simply.
"Would you mind explaining?" Chuuya snorts, running his fingers up the brunette's face until he reaches his curls and tangles them there.
Dazai sighs, "Things didn't mean anything in the past. Not the big ones, not the small ones. Everything was empty because I was. And not anymore, Chuuya. Things have meaning. The sunset, the sea, you." He swallows, speaking the words slowly as if he were afraid they would escape him, "I thought I was destined for misery, to wander aimlessly, without meaning, but there are many now and I...I'm happy..." The corners of Dazai's lips curve into a slow smile despite the tears.
Chuuya notices the vulnerability behind those dark eyes that, for a moment, are hiding nothing, as Dazai leans into his touch like a tamed cat, and Chuuya feels his pulse quicken, as the words just spoken float in the salty air. They reverberate inside.
What can Chuuya say to that? To this bleeding heart broken into pieces placed in his hands?
There are no words, Chuuya decides. Not for this moment. Instead, the redhead pulls Dazai down to bring their faces closer and caress his cheeks gently as the sun slowly fades behind them and the ocean waves gently sway against their legs.
"Chuuya makes me happy," Dazai murmurs after a while of just staring into each other's eyes.
"Dazai makes me happy too, with all the fucking headaches that bastard gives me included.," Chuuya responds and kisses him calmly.
“Chuuya?” Dazai speaks after they break the kiss.
"Yeah?"
Dazai looks at him, totally solemn.
"I am freezing. I will get sick and I will die and Chuuya will have to write on my tombstone, 'Dazai Osamu, he died because Chuuya Nakahara forced him into the sea.' “
“Idiot” Chuuya taps him on the back of the head. Count on Dazai to ruin a mood as easily as he creates it.
"Violence!" Dazai accuses, gasping dramatically.
“I will show you violence,” Chuuya growls, but he is smiling widely as they walk out of the sea towards the towels and prepare to leave the beach.
It was a good idea to come here after all.
And as they sit in the car and Chuuya carefully changes Dazai's wet bandages, the brunette can only think of one thing, a request to whatever higher force exists or not...
Let me keep this. Just this will be enough. Please allow me to keep him.