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Isagi was splayed on his bed listening to the others chat about this new video game when he heard the familiar buzzing of the speakers. A female voice, so definitely not Ego, announced:
"Isagi Yoichi and Michael Kaiser are expected on the second floor of sector 2, room E."
Everyone was looking at him in confusion and curiosity. He got up slowly with a pained expression; if there was something he didn't want to do was meet with Kaiser.
"What was that?" asked Hiori, just a tad concerned.
"No idea," Isagi shook his head while he headed to the door. "Guess I'll have to find out."
"Do you think it's about the last match?"
"Maybe? Uuh, do any of you know where sector 2 is?"
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"Isagi Yoichi and Michael Kaiser are expected on the second floor of sector 2, room E."
Kaiser glared in the vague direction of the camera. The last thing he needed right now was to see that asshole.
"I'll come with you," Ness offered, still kneeling by his side.
"No need." His voice was still hoarse from the stunt he pulled earlier, "I ain't scared of that loser. It's actually a great opportunity. If they make us play a 1v1 I'll fucking kill him."
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When Isagi finally found room E, Kaiser was already there, sitting on one of two black plastic chairs and surrounded by cameras, lights and microphones.
What the hell?
Teieri Anri smiled at him and shoo-ed him towards the empty seat, "Sit, sit, where're about to start."
Isagi did as he was told, scooting his chair further from Kaiser before sitting down. "Uhm, what are we here for?"
"Well," her smile was far from reassuring. She looked like a tiger who caught her prey. "You are going to read kaisagi fanfiction."
Uh? UH??
"My translator is not working properly. I couldn't understand those words," Kaiser said. Right, he wasn't there when Hiori read the social media posts.
"I'll explain right away. Kaisagi is what the internet decided to call your… partnership."
"—there's no partnership."
Isagi hoped that his disgusted expression was enough to convey the same feeling, because he was still too stunned to speak.
"While fanfictions are stories written by fans about you." Anri didn't seem to care about their internal turmoil and kept talking with that same sadistic smile plastered on her face. "Now my assistant will give you a tablet each, one in Japanese and one in German, and then will film your reactions for a YouTube video."
"I refuse."
"You can't."
"What does this have to do with football?" How could Kaiser still not understand? It was obvious.
Isagi sighed the deepest sigh in history. "It's fanservice."
"Exactly." For a moment she looked as defeated as they felt. "The last time you talked about Kaisagi our views numbers skyrocketed and the higher-ups decided to make you film a YouTube video on the topic. We're kinda over-budget and I… I had no choice. It's going to be brief, don't worry."
"And what do we have to do?" Isagi asked painfully.
"Read the stories that appear on the tablets and let the viewers know what you think. You're forbidden from insulting writers, readers or viewers. You don't want to get us canceled."
They exchanged the first glance of the afternoon, they were both so filled with disdain and disbelief that Isagi almost felt a sense of camaraderie with Kaiser. Almost.
"All clear? Perfect. 3, 2, 1, and we're rolling!" She picked up a script and started reading with the enthusiasm of someone waiting in line for a doctor appointment. "Welcome everyone to the first episode of "Blue Lock vs. the outside world"! In this episode we'll see Michael Kaiser and Isagi Yoichi react to kaisagi fanfictions. How are we feeling boys?"
"Uhh." Was Isagi's intelligent comment.
"I was better before."
"Great. Now turn on the tablets and comment on our first title. Let me take this chance to say a big thank you to our Patreon supporters, thank you for the amazing fic recommendations."
The first image was a screenshot of a red and cream site, there was the title of a story and some… adjectives? to describe it.
"A Blue and Green Dream," read Kaiser, "By… brickwoll…? Ok. The— sorry but what the f**k does "enemies to lovers" mean?"
"Language!" shouted Anri, "And it's pretty self explanatory, use your imagination."
Isagi's eyes were locked on one of the words in that infinite list. "Hey," he whispered, mostly because his disgust stopped him from speaking any louder. "Read here."
Kaiser followed his gaze and almost fell off the chair. They briefly looked at eachother horrified, before starting daggers at the tablets.
A Blue and Green Dream by brickwoll
Blue Lock RPF
No Archive Warnings Apply , Michael Kaiser/Isagi Yoichi, Michael Kaiser, Isagi Yoichi, Enemies to Lovers, Fluff and Angst, First Kiss, Slow Burn…
"Ughg," Kaiser fake gagged. Isagi agreed wholeheartedly. "Does "slow burn" mean that Isagi is slowly dying in a fire?"
"Hey! You could be the one dying!"
"No, it just means it'll be a long time before you get together."
"So long that we'll both be dead before it happens," Kaiser said before swiping left. "I'm done with this, let's move on."
"Why are you deciding?"
"You want to read more?"
Isagi also swiped to the next image. "Whatever."
Oh, this one also had a summary. Great. He cleared his throat, "The title is: i don't like your perfect crime (how you laugh when you lie), isn't it too long?"
"It sounds familiar."
Isagi shot him his most disbelieving look.
"Not like that. It's a song lyric or something."
"Yeah sure. So, uhm, I'm going straight for the summary," he didn't need to read about kissing or burning slowly or hand holding. A summary was safer. "Isagi started working at a cafè to make ends meet, which would have been fine, not the worst job in the world, if it wasn't for the most annoying regular he had ever had the displeasure to meet. He had the most complicated coffee order and was never pleased.
Out of spite he always misspelled his name. "Meal? There's a Meal here?
Why would I be a barista in college? I'm a football player."
"Am I Meal in this?"
"Unfortunately," said Anri before she could catch herself, "No, cut that. I'll do it again."
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It had been 105 minutes since they had started and Kaiser's disgust was starting to run out. At this point he didn't even care anymore; a lot of people wanted to see him and the loser kiss, so what? Now that the novelty had ran out he was bored out of his mind.
"Tell me that we're almost over," he said to the room at large. Isagi's spaced out look gained some consciousness at the idea of finally leaving.
"Two more and we'll call it a wrap."
"Thank f**k," Isagi half whispered while he swiped on the tablet. "The title is Need, the tags," he looked ecstatic to have learned how those were called, "Are… uh what's alpha slash omega? Like math?"
Anri sighed, "I knew this moment would come."
Kaiser kept reading and immediately wished he didn't. "I have a better one. Boyp***y. Care to elaborate?"
"Not really, no," Anri was getting more and more honest as time went by.
"How would that even work?"
"I'm pretty sure it's just another way to call—" Kaiser had a moment of clarity and he realized what he was talking about and with whom. "Just google it."
Isagi considered it. "It sounds like a horrible idea. Well… like all your ideas."
"Do YouTube Terms and Conditions talk about murder?"
Anri looked ready to blow everything up. "Let's just move on to the next one."
"No wait, you didn't tell us what alpha and gamma mean," Isagi intervened, "What does math have to do with p*****s?"
"Boyp*****s," added Kaiser. He didn't dislike Anri, but her discomfort was the only entertaining thing happening.
"Don't agree with me, it's creepy."
"Ok, ok, boys!" She reluctantly picked up a flashcard and started reading the definition. "Omegaverse it's an Alternate Universe where there are "Alpha" people and "Beta" people and "Omega" people. In this AU, Omegas go through times of the year/month (depending on the story) where they are "in heat" like animals. They need to be "knotted"- when an Alpha has s*x with them and c***s inside them- to feel release from pain. Alphas usually cannot resist the smell of an Omega in heat and will try to have s*x with them. That's… that's pretty much it."
Isagi's face looked like the one of a surprised fish. "I like my theory about math more."
"I'm the alpha one, right?"
Isagi scrolled through the tags. "Apparently. Why does it matter… Oh. I firmly disagree."
"You're so delusional if you think I could ever let you f**k me."
In response Isagi scooted his chair even further from him.
Fair.
"Can we please move on now?" Anri definitely didn't get paid enough for this.
"Yeah!" Isagi said while nodding furiously.
"Sure."
"For the next and last story, you'll read the title and the provided paragraph. Then we'll all take an extra long visit at the bar." After a beat she added, "Except you, Yoichi. We'll drink also for you."
"Ok," Kaiser took an exasperated breath. "On your knees, Blue Lock Yoichi! Really? I feel insulted."
"Why am I always the one who bottoms?!"
Kaiser looked at Anri with a mean smile, "Should I answer?"
"God, no. Just read."
"Isagi knelt… knelt between those strong, muscular thighs, his hands caressing the firm muscles. His attention was laser focused on…" he looked at Anri, back at the tablet, back at her. "On my c**k."
"Bleaegh."
Kaiser agreed with Isagi.
"Your thighs aren't even that nice."
Kaiser didn't agree with Isagi.
"You know, there's actually something accurate in here. Continue where I left."
"Uff ok. It was bigger than Isagi's—" Isagi abruptly stopped and leveled him with the blankest stare. "I would spray you with water if I had some."
"Because it's true."
Isagi stood up ready to… throttle him? but Anri put a quick stop to it. "Ok! Stop! I don't care anymore, this is over! Go your merry ways!"
Isagi flipped him off before leaving the room and Kaiser followed soon after, ready to wash his brain with bleach.
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[Bllk vs.World #1] Isagi Yoichi and Michael Kaiser React to Kaisagi FANFICTION
2 weeks ago
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