Chapter Text
Lan Zhan took a deep breath. "Are you sure it's activated?" he asked, keeping his eyes closed.
"Of course I'm sure."
He could hear the grin in Wei Ying's voice. That smug, self-satisfied grin, knowing that he had created something Lan Zhan couldn't immediately comprehend. It was mildly annoying. "I can't feel any energy coming off of it."
"That's the point," Wei Ying chirped.
Lan Zhan inhaled again, attempting to breathe out the irritation on the exhale. He must look ridiculous, standing like this in the middle of Wei Ying's workshop – which, by the way, was supposed to be a professional office space and laboratory. But ever since Wei Ying had taken up residency here, it more and more resembled the cauldron of a medieval witcher.
Lan Zhan felt just plain stupid with that talisman pinned to his shoulder, waiting for something to happen. He hadn't even been afforded the curtesy to learn what Wei Ying was working on before he had already been volunteered as a guinea pig. When he'd walked in to conduct his thrice weekly inspection, Wei Ying had simply pulled him over to the workbench, turned him around and tugged Lan Zhan's braid to the side before he slapped the talisman on him and told him to wait.
"Nothing is happening," Lan Zhan said, finally opening his eyes.
"Because you're being stubborn and actively working against it."
"I'm doing no such thing."
"Does your fancy schmancy suit have a built-in cultivation defense shield? Because if not, then it's you. Now stop being such a big baby and just let it happen."
Lan Zhan had to bite his tongue. He was going to be professional and not let Wei Ying rile him up or point out that a suit was perfectly acceptable work place attire, unlike the ragged sweatsuit look that Wei Ying was sporting from time to time (although it would be an inopportune moment to point that out, since he was wearing a decent shirt and jeans today. His ponytail still looked like it had been tied in a hurricane and his bangs were a mess, but he did wear proper clothing).
Lan Zhan closed his eyes again; another deep breath to calm himself. Then, slowly...
"Aaaaand here we go," Wei Ying's voice came quietly from not too far away. The smugness was gone. He sounded content. "How does it feel?"
Wei Ying was right, the talisman was finally working. There was a low current energy pulsing through Lan Zhan, not emanating from any specific point but washing over him like a warm, gentle wave that left small ripples throughout his body, gradually relaxing all his muscles like it was smoothing out his entire being from the inside out. Then, slowly, the energy petered out.
Lan Zhan opened his eyes when Wei Ying touched his shoulder and pulled the talisman from his back, looking up at Lan Zhan with an expectant smile.
"So? How did it feel?"
Lan Zhan nodded. "Good."
Wei Ying tipped his head back, laughing. "Such high praise, I'm honored."
"What is the intended application?"
"It's basically a healthcare patch. This one is still too potent, though, I'm trying to bring the energy down a little more."
Lan Zhan raised his eyebrows. "Down? It already barely did anything to start with."
"Well, first of all, that's a lie," Wei Ying protested with a grin, poking Lan Zhan in the chest. "I can literally see that it pulled the stick out of your ass, since you're no longer as tense as when you walked in. And second," he quickly added when Lan Zhan was about to protest, "it being slow and gentle is the whole point. It's for people who are very sick or weak or both. You can't just quickly flood their system with energy like you're dowsing them with a bucket of water. I mean, you can, but it sucks for them, and call me a softie but medicine shouldn't make you feel extra shitty before it makes you feel better."
Lan Zhan looked at him for a long moment, taking in his explanation and reasoning. "Mn," he then nodded in agreement. "Where do you see it being used?"
Wei Ying shrugged. "Anywhere, really. Hospitals, long-term care, or just for private use at home. It's a super basic patch, no bells and whistles, I made it as simple as possible. When they're prewritten, you only need the tiniest little cultivation levels to work with them. Not everything has to be cutting edge technology. This one's for normal, everyday problems."
Lan Zhan almost had to bite back a smile at the way Wei Ying petulantly pushed out his lower lip, like he needed to defend himself for creating something that wasn't exceptionally brilliant. "Mn," Lan Zhan nodded again, "yes, that sounds sensible. Good work."
"Wow, even more praise," Wei Ying grinned again and put the talisman in the secure bin where used research spells were discarded. "Gotta mark that in the calendar."
"I have complimented your work many times before."
"Yeah, but you didn't grind your teeth even a little bit." Wei Ying winked at him before he walked over to his desk. "I finished your incident report for last week."
"Which one?"
It was unfortunate that this was a legitimate question. As head of security it was Lan Zhan's job to make sure that all regulations were followed, including but not limited to employees' conduct on the premises and the application of cultivation methods on new products. They were a government agency after all. Following the rules was important.
Just keeping Wei Ying in line was already a full-time job for Lan Zhan, even more so since the High Counsil had agreed to allow him a trial period for his Alternative Cultivation Research Department. Currently, it was a department of one, and in Lan Zhan's humble opinion, the lack of immediate supervision was not conducive to Wei Ying's personality, even if he was operating under very strict regulations.
It was a miracle that Wei Ying's project had gotten the green light in the first place. According to Wei Ying's proposal, he did not only want to invent new weapons and spells, he also wanted to study and experiment with resentful energy. The council was not fond of unorthodox methods, to say the least, and Lan Zhan had been surprised when Wei Ying was granted a probational period. He'd been even more surprised that Wei Ying agreed to all their rules and restrictions without putting up much of a fight. Being constantly observed and tightly controlled was not a state of being that Wei Ying could tolerate for long periods of time.
In theory, Lan Zhan would have the resources to assign a security officer to exclusively follow Wei Ying all day and watch every move that he made. In practice, it would be nearly impossible to find someone who was both on Wei Ying's level and would be able to rein him in. Which was precisely why Lan Zhan had made it a point to take time out of his own schedule for special security checks.
Last week alone, Wei Ying had caused three separate incidents. First, one of his talismans had blown out a window. Then he'd sent his paperman toy to the communal kitchen to get him a cup of coffee, resulting in two dozen mugs flying across the room and causing a minor head injury. And to top it all off, one of his spells had managed to temporarily reanimate the human remains in the medical research lab in the basement.
It was probably the most infuriating thing about Wei Ying; that he was such a chaos magnet despite being so brilliant. Well, it was the second-most infuriating thing. The worst part was that he was beautiful and had those captivating, sparkling eyes and a smile so bright it could put the sun to shame. Being attracted to him, despite his best efforts, made Lan Zhan's job infinitely harder. Not that he wasn't perfectly capable of keeping himself in check, it just made things more difficult than they needed to be.
Because besides being a major pain in the ass, Wei Ying was also excellent at his job. His talismans were complex and powerful, his inventions nothing short of brilliant sometimes. There was a certain elegance to his work that most people were unable to even recognize, and his chaotic personality seemed to help and not hinder him in solving even the most difficult puzzles. In that, he hadn't changed one bit since they were younger.
A lifetime ago, they had gone through basic training together and had then started their entry level jobs at headquarters as junior cultivators. After an especially nasty accident during a night hunt, Lan Zhan's uncle had pushed him to pursue a career on a managerial level – to do less field work and spend most of his time at the office.
It suited his talents, there was no doubt about it. He was well-versed in all sorts of cultivation methods, knew the ins and outs of every department, could cite the entire rule book from memory, top to bottom. He could still easily hold his own when he accompanied agents for safety inspections on field missions. He'd never slacked off on his physical fitness, and every year, without fail, he passed his recertification in sword practice and musical cultivation with flying colors.
Lan Zhan liked his career. He liked rules and regulations and the way they brought order to the world, but he didn't see himself as some kind of relentless enforcer. Well, not anymore, anyway. He used to be 'an absolute stick-in-the-mud', according to Wei Ying. An 'aggressively anal fuddy-duddy' he would call Lan Zhan regularly, and then he would dissolve in a fit of giggles at the word anal, because he was perpetually an immature 12-year-old.
Lan Zhan believed in the importance of rules. Sometimes it was simply a matter of safety, and in those cases, he insisted that the rules be followed to the letter. But other times, there was leeway, a bit of wiggle room. It was his job to know all these rules and their intended purpose, to figure out which of them were important in order to protect not only practicing cultivators but also civilians who benefitted from their work. There was a delicate balance that needed to be struck, and Lan Zhan enjoyed the task of maintaining this equilibrium.
Wei Ying, on the other hand, had always been very good at inventing new talismans and spells, even if they sometimes weren't the most professional ones. Like that one time when he invented a talisman that could temporarily change someone's hair color, all because he wanted to impress a girl in their class. Lan Zhan remembered how heartbroken Wei Ying had been when he showed up with flaming red hair during recess all off a sudden, and the girl (whose name Lan Zhan couldn't care to remember) had only laughed at him and called him a fire goblin. Luckily the heartbreak had only lasted for an hour or so. Wei Ying was the type to bounce back quickly.
People had called Wei Ying every word in the book because of stunts like this: a hack, a charlatan, had told him that no self-respecting cultivator would waste his time on these carnival tricks. But Wei Ying had never cared what other people thought of him, and so Lan Zhan hadn't been surprised that his career had drifted into this territory and that he'd found great success in this field.
There had been a few bumps in the road for him. Big, mountain-sized bumps at times, some of which were of Wei Ying's own making. Like the botched field mission in Yunmeng province that nearly cost both Wei Ying and Jiang Cheng their lives. It took several months for them both to fully recover, most of which they spent at some remote rehab facility at the other end of the country. Lan Zhan had never learned what exactly had happened during that mission. Wei Ying and Jiang Cheng claimed not to remember a thing, and the higher ups seemed happy to sweep the whole thing under a rug.
When he finally returned to active duty, something about Wei Ying had changed. Lan Zhan could feel that something was not right with him, but anyone with a functioning pair of eyes could spot the difference, because Wei Ying now refused to carry his sword. Which was not only against regulations but also highly impractical for a cultivating field agent. It was his main weapon, the very thing he used to defend himself, to protect others, to do his job.
Wei Ying strayed further and further down the path of alternative cultivation, he seemed to revel in practicing these contemptible methods and doing experiments with resentful energy. Lan Zhan had offered to help him, had begged him to come to his senses and find his way back to proper cultivation because he still believed that Wei Ying was too good a cultivator, too good a person to just toss his whole life away like this.
But because Wei Ying was Wei Ying and he could never leave well enough alone, he found a way to make things even worse. When the scandal about the Wen family and their corporate espionage ring broke, he threw himself into the crossfires any chance he got, making the higher-ups even more furious with him than they already were.
Wei Ying was this close to being fired and getting banned from all government agencies, when he somehow got himself transferred to the Yiling branch. Their offices were practically abandoned at the time. No cultivator was permanently stationed there because nobody with any kind of professional ambition wanted to touch the Burial Mounds with a ten-foot pole. Too dangerous, too nasty. Too dead for anything good to come from that place.
It had been almost five years since then. Apparently, about a year ago, enough grass had finally grown over the past and a handful of transfer requests had been granted, including the one that brought Wei Ying back to the main office in Gusu.
Lan Zhan thought that maybe Wei Ying's adopted family might have had a hand in it, although he knew that they had practically disowned him after all the scandals. Wei Ying was still close with his siblings, who resided in the area, so maybe that had been a factor. Jiang Cheng headed his own team here and was the official liaison for the Yunmeng branch. His sister now lived about two hours away from headquarters; she'd gotten married only last year and was already pregnant with their first child.
"The accidental necromancy incident," Wei Ying finally answered the previous question, handing Lan Zhan a folder with his report. "You need more than that, really?" He batted his eyes at him and cocked a hip. "We don't have to file the other two as official workplace accidents, do we? Those were more, like, little oopsies."
"You destroyed a triple-glazed window and injured a co-worker," Lan Zhan replied, unsmiling.
Wei Ying shrugged. "Yeah, but maintenance sealed that hole in the wall in no time at all. And show me one person in the whole world who wouldn't want to smack Su She in the head with a coffee mug. If anything, he should've been hit with the whole coffee machine."
He wasn't not right with that assessment, but nonetheless. "Irrelevant."
"Come oooon, Lan Zhan, I even slapped a healing talisman on his stupid noggin and he was completely fine a minute later."
"Unless you have a time travel talisman and can make it so you never injured him in the first place, that too, is irrelevant."
"Well, I mean, I totally could have one of those-" Wei Ying defensively threw his hands up when Lan Zhan glared at him. "-if that wasn't completely against the rules and forbidden and illegal and I wouldn't even dream about doing anything like that."
Lan Zhan all but rolled his eyes at him. Yeah, right, that would be the day when Wei Ying would give even one tiny fuck about not breaking the rules. It was practically his favorite hobby. "I expect the other two reports on Friday when I come back for my next inspection.
"Can't." Wei Ying shook his head. "I'm out field-testing my stun grenades with Jiang Cheng on Friday, remember?"
Right, of course, he knew that. After all, Lan Zhan was the one who needed to approve his requests whenever Wei Ying wanted to bring an unlicensed new device to an active mission.
Wei Ying sidled over, batting his eyes at Lan Zhan and running a finger down the middle of his chest. "Are you gonna miss me?" He laughed and leaned back again when Lan Zhan shot him another glare. "Right, right, I know," he grinned, pretending to brush his fingers over Lan Zhan's front without actually touching him. "You don't want my nasty ink-stained fingers all over your fancy suit, my bad."
They'd always had a very different understanding of what constituted enough personal space. Lan Zhan generally disliked being touched by strangers, whereas Wei Ying had a tactile kink that bordered on an obsessive compulsion. They'd been like fire and water since the day they'd met. Or at least they should've been.
They had started their training in the same year, and they had met before during junior cultivator summer camps or other classes. One way or another, they'd always run in the same circles, the main difference being that Lan Zhan's personal circle was tiny, whereas Wei Ying's seemed larger than the earth's orbit.
Having a social life had never been something Lan Zhan was particularly good at. It wasn't so much that he disliked people in general, just that most people were exhausting him after a while; and the feeling was often mutual. He wasn't fun, he was boring and strict and best to be avoided if one didn't want to get in trouble.
Wei Ying had never minded getting into trouble. He would nag Lan Zhan constantly, insist that he join him and his classmates for whatever they were up to, he would grab Lan Zhan by the wrist and literally drag him along. Lan Zhan imagined that even if he were to start kicking and screaming, Wei Ying wouldn't leave him alone, because it was Wei Ying's mission to include Lan Zhan into his life, and when Wei Ying was on a mission, he didn't give up until he'd achieved his goal.
Wei Ying also had this indomitable urge to push all of Lan Zhan's buttons, which included having his hands all over Lan Zhan whenever he felt like it. More than anything in the world, Wei Ying seemed to thrive on getting a rise out of Lan Zhan by doing the opposite of what he'd been told to do.
And on top of that, which was definitely the most infuriating thing of them all: Wei Ying was just such an incredible tease. A massive, massive, shameless tease. He flirted with literally everyone. There could not be a single person on the whole continent who he hadn't tried to afflict with his charms before. And way too often he got his way with them, too. A coy smile here, a coquettish wink or gentle touch there, and people generally melted in his hands like candle wax over an active volcano.
Lan Zhan had vowed to never fall prey to these kinds of tactics, not least because Wei Ying was as straight as an arrow and only flirted with men because he knew that he could. And so what if Lan Zhan's heart had ached just the tiniest bit when he realized that Wei Ying would try to use these methods on him as well, even after they'd come to call each other friends; after Lan Zhan had realized that maybe, just maybe, this was what it felt like to have a crush for the first time.
But those weren't feelings he'd ever allowed himself to examine too closely because clearly Wei Ying had never felt the same way about him. Otherwise it wouldn't have taken a chance meeting with another colleague for Lan Zhan to learn that Wei Ying had transferred out of the main office. He would have gotten an explanation from Wei Ying, or maybe at the very least a chance to say goodbye in person before Wei Ying had moved to Yiling.
Lan Zhan had texted Wei Ying to ask what had happened, how he was doing, when he would be coming back; if he would be coming back at all. After a few weeks he'd had to force himself to stop texting when he hadn't gotten any replies, he'd had to instruct his mind to not think about Wei Ying, even if he knew his mind wouldn't listen.
Then, months later, out of nowhere, he'd gotten a message from Wei Ying. And all it had said was 'Lan Zhan!!! Look!!!', with a picture attached, showing two bunnies in what looked like a flimsy makeshift enclosure next to a shed.
And then they'd started texting again. Like no time had passed at all, like nothing had happened. And Lan Zhan never asked again why Wei Ying had left or if he'd ever come back.
"Have you seen the finished prototypes of my stun grenades yet?" Wei Ying asked, grabbing a box from the shelve next to his work bench. He still held it in his arm while opening the lid for Lan Zhan. "Take one, they don't bite. Just don't drop it."
Lan Zhan picked up one of the shiny metal balls and balanced it on his palm. The idea behind them was quite simple, yet ingenious. With some help from the medical research department, Wei Ying had developed these little balls that were partially made of organic material. That way they could temporarily be imbued with small amounts of spiritual energy. They had microchips inside that could be programmed with different musical cultivation techniques. They would not be powerful enough to outright defeat an evil spirit, but the hope was that they would be able to disorient and confuse them long enough so field agents could stay at a safe distance before attempting to overpower them.
"It feels heavier," Lan Zhan said, weighing the ball in the palm of his hand.
"I reinforced the hull," Wei Ying nodded with a bright smile, like he was happy that Lan Zhan had paid enough attention to recognize the change.
"It will not affect functionality?"
"It will, but in a good way. They were a little too trigger-happy before. When they landed on something soft, or, soft-ish, I don't know how soft the ground can actually be unless you put down a pillow or a mattress or... anyway, soft-ish ground was fine. But drop them on a hard surface like concrete and boom, they just went off and the remote detonator was basically useless." Wei Ying closed the box and put it away once Lan Zhan had placed the ball back in its notch. "I also installed a different recording," he said while already clicking around on his laptop and pressing play on an audio file.
Lan Zhan listened to the excerpt. "That is my recording," he said after the first few bars.
"It sure is."
"Why did you change it?"
Wei Ying had every right to use his recordings, of course, they were part of the database like any other sample. They were mostly meant for educational purposes, but researchers were allowed to access them as well.
"Isn't it obvious?" Wei Ying shrugged and stopped the file. "If these puppies don't work, I'll know that I messed up somewhere. Your recordings are absolutely flawless, so that can't be the problem."
Lan Zhan forced himself to keep looking at the laptop screen, but from the corner of his eye he could see Wei Ying smiling at him, bright and loud and shiny as he always was. "Mn," Lan Zhan then agreed. "Yes, your logic is sound." It didn't count as being prideful when he was simply stating a fact.
"I don't suppose you would want to join us on the mission, huh?" Wei Ying asked. "It's been a while since you got your hands dirty."
Lan Zhan frowned at him. "I accompany agents in the field regularly."
"Aiya, don't look at me like that, I didn't mean it as an insult." He rubbed Lan Zhan's arm. "I thought if you came along, we wouldn't have to cancel our date on Friday."
"My inspections are a professional necessity, not social calls."
"Yeah, but you gotta admit, you're here an awful lot." Wei Ying stepped closer towards him, hands clasped behind his back. It was hard to tell if his tone was supposed to be mocking or flirting; it might be both. "Out of five business days, you're here on at least three of them. Do you go to anyone's office three times a week, except maybe your brother's? It's starting to look like you want to be here."
"Ridiculous."
"People here are terrible gossips. I hear whispers about us practically everywhere."
Lan Zhan could only imagine how bright red his ears must be. Sometimes he really hated his stupid body and all its telltale signs. "Ridiculous," he repeated, not meaning to mumble and doing it anyway.
"Hey, isn't it your birthday this weekend?" Wei Ying changed the topic without so much as a turn signal. "Any big plans?"
"No."
"Whaaaat," Wei Ying squeaked, "but it's your big Three-Oh. A milestone. You only turn 30 once in your life, Lan Zhan, you gotta celebrate! Don't tell me you're really such a fuddy-duddy that you can't have a party at least once a decade."
"I will have dinner with my brother," Lan Zhan said out loud without wanting to. There was no need for him to defend himself or his choices. What he did or did not do on his birthday was nobody's business, not even Wei Ying's. They were colleagues again, they were cordial. Maybe they were even still friends. But Lan Zhan being a fixpoint in Wei Ying's personal life was a thing of the past, and Lan Zhan had better remind himself of that.
"Just dinner? Is that all?" Wei Ying flinched a bit when Lan Zhan shot him a look, but that big grin was back on his face in an instant. "Yeah, I mean, that's nice, I guess. Not very sexy, but dinner sounds cool." He cocked his hip to the other side and hooked a thumb in the front pockets of his jeans. "You sure you don't wanna go out for drinks or something? My treat." Wei Ying wiggled his eyebrows at Lan Zhan. "I know my way around town, I can show you a good time, Lan-er gege."
"I will see you next week," Lan Zhan said sharply, turning on his heel without dignifying any of that with a response.
"Can't wait! Looking forward to it!" Wei Ying yelled after him, his laugh following Lan Zhan like a summer breeze.
Again, mockery or flirting, it could easily be both. And knowing Wei Ying, it probably was.
"Bye, Lan Zhan! Have a nice birthday dinner!"
He didn't stop or wait and simply walked out the door.
Lan Zhan was a very disciplined person. He had learned early in life how to control his emotions, or at least how to control his actions so his emotions wouldn't show on the outside. And right now he was telling his feelings to stay in their lane, to stick to the path he had carefully carved out for them.
Because the truth was that, all those things he said were infuriating about Wei Ying – he liked all those things, all his quirks, his quick mind, his silly jokes. His kind heart and compassion. The way he was so comfortable with himself and other people. The way it had always been so easy to be his friend, even during difficult times.
Lan Zhan still liked all of those things. He still liked Wei Ying, he'd liked him so much for such a long time. And as more than just a friend. There were moments when Lan Zhan allowed himself to realize this, but it never took long for his rational mind to get the upper hand again.
Because all the needless, pointless flirting, the playful glances, the tantalizing smiles, the little touches Wei Ying doled out so indiscriminately – they didn't mean anything. Wei Ying did these things simply because he could, not with malicious intent but simply because he wanted to, because pushing boundaries was second nature to him.
But Lan Zhan would not let it bother him. He would put all his big feelings in a neat little box and store it away, far back in the furthest corner of his mind where he wouldn't be forced to look at it or think about it.
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It was Saturday evening and Lan Zhan was on his way to his brother's apartment. Normally they'd have dinner at a restaurant, together with their uncle, but since he was out of town for a conference, Lan Huan had suggested to make him a home-cooked meal.
As always, he expected his brother to use the occasion to grill him about his personal life, much as they both knew that he hated this. At least this time he wouldn't have an audience of strangers one table over to hear him dodge questions while trying to not sound too annoyed. On the other hand, being in the privacy of his own home might embolden Lan Huan to ask even more intrusive questions. Lan Zhan would just have to wait and see how this would play out.
It was cold and rainy, so he'd decided to take the car instead of public transport. It would be his one indulgence for the day and since Nie Mingjue, Lan Huan's husband, was at the same conference as their uncle, there would even be an empty parking space in the garage for him to use.
Lan Zhan had spent the entire day alone in his apartment doing chores, cleaning the whole place top to bottom, doing laundry, sorting receipts and updating his personal files for tax purposes. He'd even managed to get a head start on the work schedule for the next quarter before he needed to take a shower and get dressed.
He'd never understood what the big deal was about birthdays anyway, how people claimed they 'felt differently' now that they were a year older. Lan Zhan had woken up today at 5 in the morning, feeling precisely like he always did.
"Wangji!" his brother greeted him with a big smile. "Come in, come in."
Lan Zhan gave him a nod, smiling at the use of his courtesy name. It was a dying tradition. Most people didn't even have one anymore, and if they did, it was rarely ever used outside of official documents. The Lan family, for the most part, was no exception to this development, and when his brother called him Wangji, it was more of a pet name than an honorific.
Lan Zhan walked in, took off his coat and shoes and put on a pair of guest slippers, like he always did when he came to visit.
"Happy birthday, little brother," Lan Huan beamed at him once Lan Zhan had dealt with his coat and put on his usual guest slippers.
"Thank you."
"Can I still call you little brother? You're practically an old man now."
"I'm still younger than you."
Lan Huan clutched his chest, laughing. "Ouch, straight for the jugular. Come here." He reached out with one arm and pulled Lan Zhan into a hug.
«He looks so pale these days. Maybe the weather. Does he eat properly?»
Lan Zhan pulled back from him. "Excuse me?"
"What, are you too old for hugs now?" Lan Huan smiled and squeezed his arm. «He looks tired. Probably spent the whole day working and didn't give himself five minutes to rest.»
Lan Zhan didn't react, only stared at him. He was hallucinating. He didn't know why or how, but he was clearly hearing things that weren't there, because he'd just looked his brother in the face and he'd heard Lan Huan's voice in his own head without seeing his lips move.
«Always so tense. Can't even offer him a glass of wine to relax.»
Lan Zhan could hear the inward sigh his brother explicitly did not let out before he patted his shoulder one more time and then walked off.
"Come on in. Dinner's not ready yet, but it won't take too much longer."
What. The actual. Fuck.
Lan Zhan followed him into the kitchen. He stayed standing in the doorway, staring at his brother like he'd suddenly grown a second head or something. OK, he needed to concentrate, there had to be a logical explanation for all this.
"Would you like something to drink, Wangji? I don't suppose I could talk you into a glass of wine, just for the occasion."
"Alcohol doesn't become me."
"Right, of course." Lan Huan smiled at him over his shoulder and then went back to his pot on the oven.
Lan Zhan tried to focus all his energy on his brother, but there was nothing. He couldn't hear anything. Although, he could read Lan Huan's mind without superpowers anyway. He was pretty sure that right now his brother was thinking that he needed to loosen up a bit, and so what if a sip of alcohol makes you tipsy already? Who cares, so you're a cheap drunk, that can have so many advantages in life. Do you even know how much money I spent as an undergrad to get a bit of a buzz now and then? Lan Zhan wasn't so much reading Lan Huan's mind as he was reciting all the things he'd heard from him before.
"There's water and ginger ale in the fridge, if you want. I didn't put it in too long ago. I know you don't like your drinks too cold."
"Thank you."
He walked over to the fridge, glancing at Lan Huan from the side. Still nothing. Maybe the logical explanation was that he really was losing his mind. Sure, sometimes it felt like he could hear Lan Huan's voice in his head, but only because they were brothers and had grown up together, and they had always been close. He knew what Lan Huan thought of him. Maybe the expectation of being silently judged had finally manifested into an actual voice in his head.
Lan Huan smiled at him, still stirring the pot. "Everything OK?" he asked, sounding vaguely skeptical about the holdup. "Did you find it?"
"Yes, thank you."
Lan Zhan grabbed the bottle from the fridge. Still nothing, except his own thoughts running in circles. Maybe it was anxiety. After all, he'd not been looking forward to this day and how much of a fuss other people would make about it when he himself just wanted it to go by like any other day.
"So, how did you spend your special day?" Lan Huan asked as if prompted.
"It's not special," Lan Zhan replied flatly.
Lan Huan gave the tiniest sigh. "What did you do then on this very uneventful Saturday?"
"Mostly chores."
He shook his head, laughing. "Of course."
"I'm very busy during the week," Lan Zhan said, his voice maybe a little too defensive. "At some point the apartment needs to get cleaned."
"Next year my birthday gift will be a full day of cleaning service, then let's see what excuses you come up with."
"I'm sure I'll think of something."
Lan Huan huffed a laugh, but it only sounded vaguely amused. "I wouldn't expect anything less of you, didi. Here, let me give you a glass for your drink." He reached into the cupboard next to the stove. When he handed Lan Zhan the glass, their fingers touched.
«It's almost like you enjoy being lonely. You worry me so much sometimes.»
They both flinched when the glass dropped to the floor, shattering into a thousand pieces.
"Oh, crap," Lan Huan cursed. "Don't move, I will get the-"
"No!" Lan Zhan almost yelled, staring at his brother wide-eyed while moving away from him. "You... cook, I get the... things."
Lan Huan was clearly taken aback by the way Lan Zhan gaped at him and then fled from the kitchen, but he needed to get out of there and didn't have time for explanations or excuses.
There was no way, it couldn't be. Telepathy wasn't a thing, not as far as he knew, and Lan Zhan knew a lot about these kinds of things. He wouldn't go so far as to say that he knew everything, but enough to know that this. was. not. a. thing. And even if this was a thing – which it wasn't! – then why was it happening to him all of a sudden?
When he came back with the broom and dustpan from the storage closet in the hallway, Lan Huan had taken the pot from the oven and was staring at him from behind the kitchen island. "What's going on with you?"
"Nothing," Lan Zhan said plainly, voice barely cracking, choosing to look at the mess on the floor instead of at his brother.
"I have known you since you were born. You think I can't feel it when your energy is out of kilter? Something is very off with you."
"I'm fine," Lan Zhan still insisted.
"You have-"
"I said, I am fine."
Lan Huan stared at him. "You just interrupted me. You never interrupt me. Something is clearly going on with you."
Lan Zhan didn't say anything because there was simply no good way to explain to his brother that he was hearing imaginary voices inside his head. He would think that Lan Zhan had gone insane, and rightfully so.
"That's it? No answer?" Lan Huan asked. "You'll just let me stew in my worry and not explain anything?"
"If there was a way to ever stop you from worrying, I have yet to figure it out." Lan Zhan bit his tongue as soon as the sentence had slipped out. Wow, he had definitely not meant to say that out loud. The voices in his head might be afflicting him more than he thought.
Lan Huan was stunned into silence for a moment or two. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"Nothing. I apologize."
"No, this was clearly prompted by something I have said, and I would like to know what it was."
Lan Zhan nervously tapped a finger against his thigh. He stopped when his brother noticed and it clearly made him even more concerned. "It's not something you have said. It's what you were thinking."
"And how would you know what I'm thinking."
"I can hear your thoughts," Lan Zhan said carefully, knowing full well that he must sound like an absolute lunatic.
Lan Huan stared at him unblinkingly; then huffed a laugh. "Excuse me?"
"I can hear your thoughts," Lan Zhan repeated. "Not consistently. Not right now. I haven't quite figured out how it works yet."
"OK, stop, stop." Lan Huan waved his hands and walked around the table, careful to avoid the shards of glass on the floor. "There's nothing to figure out. You're talking about some kind of telepathic ability, and those don't exist. Whatever you think you're experiencing, it's not real."
"Yes, that's what I assumed at first."
"At first? This has happened more than once?"
Lan Zhan ground his teeth. "It has only started happening when I came here."
"So, it's only my thoughts that you think you can hear?"
"I am not imagining this. I can hear them."
Lan Huan reached out, touching Lan Zhan's arm. «Heavens, he lost his mind.»
A wave of worry and anxiety coming from his brother hit Lan Zhan like a ton of bricks. "I have not lost my mind," he said, shaking him off. "At least I don't think so."
Lan Huan stared at him in disbelieve. "What, did... did you just... did I say that out loud?"
"You did not," Lan Zhan said, barely able to contain himself, even though he knew his brother had every right to be skeptical. "I told you: I can hear your thoughts."
"But... how?"
"I told you - I don't have a clue how or why, I just know that it is happening. And only with you. Was it-" An unthinkable idea popped into Lan Zhan's head. It seemed unfathomable, but his brother did have this tendency to grill him intensely about his personal life on his birthday. "Was it you? Did you implement some kind of spell around here so that you could-"
"I will stop you right there!" Lan Huan glared at him intensely. "This is my home. You think I would implement any kind of mind-screw spell here? And use it on you of all people? You think me capable of that?"
Of course he didn't. Under normal circumstances, Lan Zhan knew better than to even suggest something like that. But normal had apparently left through a window the moment Lan Zhan had come through the door.
For a while they just stared at each other silently, then Lan Huan looked away with a sigh. "I'll clean up before one of us accidentally steps into this mess," he said, taking the broom and dustpan from Lan Zhan. «He lost his mind. Fucking hell.»
"Fucking hell indeed," Lan Zhan echoed because, yeah, the sentiment was crude but valid enough.
Lan Huan stopped dead in his track and blinked at him. "It happened again?"
"You believe me now?"
"It's not that I didn't believe you, I just-"
"Didn't believe a word I said," Lan Zhan interrupted. Again.
"You told me something that's impossible. You'll have to give me a little room to come to terms with it." Lan Huan looked at the broom in his hand. "Did it happen when I took this from you?"
"You think the broom is to blame?"
"You have a better explanation?"
"Maybe the dustpan is the culprit."
Lan Huan looked down at the objects in his hands, then back up at Lan Zhan. His eyebrows began to dance in weird, wrinkly motions and then something akin to understanding flashed over his face. "Let me try something." He reached out, pressing the back of his hand to Lan Zhan's arm while still holding the dustpan.
«Can you read my mind now? Can you hear me? It's impossible. This can't be, there's no way those old stories are true.»
Lan Zhan's eyes widened. "You know what this is? What stories?"
Lan Huan abruptly pulled his arm back. "Oh – heavens. Really? You heard me think?"
"Yes, I did."
"Let's try again, just to be sure." The dustpan landed on the floor with a loud clang when Lan Huan simply dropped it and pressed his palm against his brother's chest.
«Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers. A peck of pickled peppers-»
Lan Zhan raised an eyebrow. "Tongue twisters?"
Lan Huan removed his hand like Lan Zhan was suddenly on fire. "Hoooooly..." He closed his mouth with a clack and swallowed.
"What stories were you talking about?" Lan Zhan asked again, by now absolutely sure that his brother had to know something about his condition. "What is happening to me?"
Lan Huan opened his mouth to speak, then closed it again, pressing his lips together tightly. "Mmhhh..." He cleared his throat, grimacing, eyes wandering around the kitchen. "Don't take what I'm about to ask the wrong way, OK?"
"Answer my question first. What do you know?"
"Are you still a virgin?"
There was a good chance that in approximately three seconds time, the entire apartment complex would be reduced to ashes, because Lan Zhan was about to explode. "Excuse me?" he ground out, surprised by his own restraint. Besides the fact that this was absolutely none of his brother's business – they were close in many ways, but this was the sort of thing they simply did not talk about – but what could that possibly have to do with anything right now?
"I'm not asking to annoy you or intrude," Lan Huan said calmly. "I promise it's important."
Lan Zhan pressed his teeth together until his jaw hurt. Then he nodded, not looking his brother in the eye. He wasn't ashamed of his virgin status, even at the ripe old age of 30, he just didn't broadcast this fact to the world. For one, because this was extremely private information, and also because he knew how other people would react. Some would pity him (not that he needed it), or make fun of him (not that he cared), and others, like his brother, would be worried about him (not that he felt like there was anything to worry about).
There would be gossip and whispers behind his back, but he didn't care about that sort of thing; he never had. The part that worried him, was that some people would try to 'fix him' and set him up on dates. He remembered how it had been during school and basic training, when his peers started having relationships, some innocent and some very much not. Some boys couldn't start bragging quickly enough about their conquests.
Lan Zhan was simply not interested in any of that. He had more important things to do with his life. But even he could feel the ever-present peer pressure, the expectation that he too should be like others in this regard. And of course Wei Ying had appointed himself head of the 'We need to get Lan Zhan a girlfriend' committee, which had not helped the situation in the slightest.
"Holy shit," Lan Huan mumbled, sounding absolutely dumbfounded, "it's really true."
Lan Zhan glared at him. "Yes. Why would I lie about this?"
"Oh! Oh, no, I didn't mean-" He reached out to touch Lan Zhan's arm and then quickly thought better of it. "I didn't mean you. I know you hate talking about this sort of thing, and I'm sorry. I really just asked because... I think I know what's happening to you."
Lan Zhan's patience had practically evaporated by now. "Then would you be so kind and tell me as well, since I'm the one affected by it."
"Have you ever heard of Cherry Magic?"
Lan Zhan held his breath so he wouldn't start yelling. That couldn't possibly go where he thought it was going. His brother had not just inquired about his virginity and then followed it up with the term Cherry Magic. He refused to believe that this was happening.
"Come, let's sit." Lan Huan gestured towards the chairs by the kitchen island, broom and dustpan forgotten on the floor by now. "It's an old wives' tale. Or at least I always thought so, and I don't know anyone who has ever taken these stories seriously. I'm not surprised you haven't even heard about it. It's one of those old folk stories that people don't share anymore these days."
"What stories?" Lan Zhan asked for the third time, hoping that it would finally yield an answer.
"It's fairly simple. Legend has it that, if you're still a virgin on your 30th birthday, you develop telepathic powers. It's said that you would then be able to read someone's mind simply by touching them."
Lan Zhan looked at his brother's hands. So that's what had clued him in. "Are you serious?"
"Asks the person who can suddenly read my mind."
"Do you think it works with anyone? Or just you?"
"I don't remember the stories exactly, only the gist of it. But I don't think they ever specified that it would only work on certain people. You would have to test that theory."
Lan Zhan blinked at him incredulously. "Test it? How would I do that?"
"Touch somebody, I supposed, since that is apparently how it works."
"And intrude their private thoughts without permission? That's practically assault."
Lan Huan shrugged. "Then ask first."
"And tell them the reason?" Lan Zhan snapped back. That was not going to happen. He started to realize how much of a problem this 'ability' might become soon. If he could invade just anybody's mind, their innermost privacy, their personal sanctum, simply by touching them, without the other person knowing or even being able to consent to it... the more he thought about it, the more horrified he became. "How do I make it stop?"
Lan Huan shrugged. "I don't know."
Lan Zhan pinned him down with a look. "You have to know." Not knowing simply was not an option. "What else do you remember, what do these stories say about breaking the curse?"
"I could only make an educated guess."
"Please, guess away!"
"Well," Lan Huan shifted in his seat, "considering what we know about magic from the olden days, how curses came into existence and how they could then be broken, it is probably fair to assume that whatever caused the curse might also break it."
"Meaning?"
"It stands to reason that if the curse was activated by an intact virginity, then a lack of virginity might-" He stopped talking when Lan Zhan's eyes widened and he sharply inhaled through his nose. "That would be my best guess, anyway."
"If this is your way of playing a prank on me then-"
Lan Huan laughed and rubbed his temple with two fingers. "I know you're uncomfortable talking about sex, you always have been. I don't know why, I don't think I've ever given you reason to be squeamish around me. But I have long since accepted it and never once pushed the issue. Why would I start doing that now?"
He had a point there. It didn't change the fact that Lan Zhan felt supremely awkward and still didn't want to talk about it, but blaming his brother for something he hadn't had a hand in was unfair as well.
"What are you doing?" Lan Huan asked when Lan Zhan suddenly got up from his chair.
"I'm going home."
"What? Why?"
"I need to do research and figure out how to get rid of this."
Lan Huan followed him down the hallway towards the front door. "And what are you going to do at home? Check Wikipedia?"
"I'll figure that out when I get there."
"A-Zhan, wait." Lan Huan grabbed his arm to stop Lan Zhan from taking his coat. «Who in the world taught him to be so embarrassed about sex?»
"I'm not embarrassed," Lan Zhan shot back, pulling his arm free.
"Good." Lan Huan looked him up and down, apparently not even fazed anymore that Lan Zhan had just answered a question he had only posed in his head. "Because it's nothing to be embarrassed about. Having sex isn't shameful, not having sex isn't either. And you're an attractive young man and a wonderful person, and I know there have been more than enough people who have shown interest in you over the years, so-"
"So I should sleep with everyone who shows interest?"
"Didi, your current count is zero. There are plenty of other numbers between everyone and zero."
"Thank you for the gratuitous math lesson." Lan Zhan turned to put on his coat, then kicked off his guest slippers.
"Why do you not want me to know you?"
There was something in Lan Huan's voice that made Lan Zhan look at him again. He hated it when his brother made that face. He wasn't being manipulative, Lan Zhan knew that, but genuinely hurt. "You do know me," he said quietly, his irritation vanished into thin air.
"Do I?"
"Of course. There are simply things I wish to keep private."
"I'm your brother. Would it be so terrible if I knew your private self? What do you think would-" He paused, smiling, shaking his head. "Never mind. I have stopped myself from asking for most of your life, I'm not going to start now."
He might not have been manipulative before, but now this was definitely getting at least a little bit guilt-trippy. "Why do you need to know so badly?" Lan Zhan asked.
"I don't," Lan Huan simply shrugged, turned and walked back into the kitchen. "Get home safely."
Lan Zhan rolled his eyes, something he only allowed himself when he was absolutely certain that nobody was watching him. Yes, definitely guilt trip territory, Lan Huan was practically plowing through that field where he'd buried all his hurt feelings.
Lan Zhan hung up his coat, put the slippers back on and walked into the kitchen. He wordlessly cleaned up the shards of glass while Lan Huan continued cooking his abandoned meal.
When he was finished, Lan Zhan leaned backwards against the kitchen counter, far enough away to make sure that they wouldn't accidentally touch in any way. "I'm not keeping secrets from you, if that's what you're worried about."
"You don't have to explain."
"Evidently I do." Lan Zhan looked away when Lan Huan glanced at him. He hadn't meant to say this so harshly.
"I fully acknowledge that you are not the only problem. I'm also at fault." Lan Huan grabbed a spoon to take a small bite from the pot, added some seasoning from a small bottle on the spice rack and then kept stirring. "I have always wondered if I had done something to discourage you from talking to me. I tried to be open and show you that you didn't have to be afraid of just being who you wanted to be. By the time you were ready to tell us you were gay, I must've brought home at least four different boyfriends already."
"Five," Lan Zhan corrected, not looking over.
"You counted?" Lan Huan laughed. "Of course you counted. What was I thinking."
"Sometimes it was hard to keep track. Especially with the occasional overlap."
"I did have a bit of a wild streak, didn't I?"
"Mn." He tried to ignore the air of wistful pride in his brother's voice. "Uncle did not like the last two men you brought home."
Lan Huan stopped stirring. "I married the last one."
"Yes, you did." Lan Zhan let him stew in that for a few seconds. "Uncle likes Mingjue just fine now."
"That's a relief," Lan Huan said with a big laugh.
"He did pick you up on a very loud motorcycle for your first date. It was not an ideal first impression to make."
"Fair point."
Lan Zhan turned a bit, leaning one hip against the counter. "I was never afraid to be myself at home, or anywhere, for that matter. You were a good role model, and you made sure that I saw how kind and accepting uncle could be, despite all the rules he imposed on us."
"Good." Lan Huan smiled back at him fondly. "I'm glad. All I wanted was for you to feel safe."
"Yet you feel like I'm keeping things from you, and that you need to know."
Lan Huan sighed. "Like I said, the fault lies with me."
"I never told you anything because there is nothing to tell."
For a moment Lan Huan looked like he wanted to abort the conversation, say that Lan Zhan could keep his secrets, apologize for overstepping. The usual things that always happened whenever they approached this type of conversation. "How do you mean?" he asked instead, sounding hopeful that Lan Zhan might be ready to open up a bit.
"Apart from the obvious?" Lan Zhan said, the corner of his mouth twitching. The virgin elephant in the room had already been addressed. At least that was out of the way now. "I never met anyone who I liked enough to be with them."
"So, are you... generally not interested in sex and relationships? You were never attracted to anyone ever?"
Lan Zhan breathed through something that might have become a laugh. "That would be a nice and easy explanation, wouldn't it?"
"I didn't mean it like that."
"I know." Lan Zhan lowered his head with a smile. He didn't mean to torture or antagonize his brother, but these same questions had been on his mind nearly his entire life already, and he wasn't sure he'd found solid answers to all of them yet. "There are men I'm physically attracted to. But when there's little else about them that keeps my interest, or I don't feel like we could ever have a meaningful emotional connection, then what is the point?"
"At the risk of making you run for the door again, one point would be to just get laid. Most people have needs that they want to see fulfilled."
"So far my life has been fine without any meaningless sex."
"I had plenty of meaningless sex and trust me, it can be fun. How would you know you don't like it if you never tried?"
"How many women have you slept with before you realized you were gay?" Lan Zhan asked, knowing the answer already.
"Well, zero, but that is completely different."
"Why? Because figuring out your orientation and then having all the sex you can get is normal, whereas I'm not?"
"Don't put words in my mouth."
"It's what you're thinking."
Some food splashed on the stove when Lan Huan dropped the kitchen spoon in the pot and turned towards him. "Here," he said, shoving his hand in Lan Zhan's face, "take it. Touch me. See for yourself what I think."
"I don't want to."
"Then you'll just have to believe me when I tell you that there's nothing abnormal about you. But life doesn't always have to be black and white, Wangji, the vast majority of people don't find their perfect Prince Charming on first try and then live happily ever after. It's a game of trial and error, and sometimes you can just be with someone to have fun and it doesn't have to mean the world to either of you."
"But if that is precisely what I do not want, then why do you think I should do that?"
Lan Zhan had known beforehand that this conversation wouldn't make much sense to his brother. There had been times when these arguments hadn't made much sense to himself either. Lan Huan was right, there was nothing abnormal about him, but he sure as hell wasn't average either. He wasn't saving himself for marriage because of some deeper believes, he didn't think of sex as something sacred. He often felt physical attraction towards men and he was sure he would enjoy being intimate with the right person, too. But he was just as certain that he didn't want to do these things with a person he wasn't 100% sure about, uncommon as that may be.
"What if it turns out that losing your virginity is the only way to break the spell?"
That was indeed a thought that had crossed Lan Zhan's mind as well. "I would prefer to do some research before I start worrying about anything."
"We can do it here after dinner, if you would like. The official archives might be a better place to start looking than the internet. Assuming I'm allowed to help and you're not too uncomfortable with me budding in."
"You still have access to the complete libraries here?"
Last year, when Lan Huan's husband had gotten sick, the company had established a secure remote access for him so he could work from home while taking care of Mingjue. Despite being head of security, Lan Zhan had not been involved in the proceedings. He'd assured the higher-ups that he could be impartial with his brother's requests, but had agreed that it was sensible to hand over the responsibility to someone else.
"I told them that it would be prudent if their chief historian had constant access to all the information. You wouldn't believe how many times field agents call me in the middle of the night and ask for help because they can't figure out how to deal with something."
"I assume in most cases you would know the answer off the top of your head."
"Well, yes," Lan Huan shrugged, "but it was a good argument to keep the access. When things are slow, it's nice to say that I'm working from home when it's actually more of a personal day. I have accrued enough unrecognized overtime to not feel guilty about it."
Lan Zhan huffed a laugh. "If the chief historian offers his support, who am I to refuse."