Chapter Text
Rand was angry. Actually, he was beyond angry, he was- blood and ashes , he was furious! Burn Mat for lying to him, and burn the person who did this to him!
The first time Mat came back to the apartment they were renting with Perrin covered in bruises, he had claimed to have tripped and fallen onto the concrete. While not quite believable, it was obvious neither of them were gonna get him to talk about it and he had refused Healing. And so they had let it be.
Rand had called Aviendha and Egwene, to ask them to keep an eye on him if they could while he was out of the house. When he told them what had happened, they readily agreed, and so far, nothing had happened in the past 3 days. Until now.
Egwene called him in a panic, rambling about Mat going into someone's house and coming out looking like he'd been beaten nearly half to death, bleeding everywhere. Rand went into a panic himself, tossing on a T-shirt printed with cats and a jacket before getting into his car to drive.
And so here he was, speeding down the highway, his heart beating so fast he thought it might beat out of his chest. With saidar and saidin working together, car crashes never happened (unless someone was inebriated or under the influence of something), so he wasn't too worried about his speed. Still, people honked their horns at him and shouted curses and expletives. He didn't care. Mat was what mattered, and only Mat was in his mind.
Egwene was still on the phone, giving directions because he needed someone’s voice before he ended up injured himself. Soon enough, he no longer needed directions. A pit of dread formed in his stomach, an icy cold knot that told him everything he needed to know. Rand parked frenziedly, shrieking when he saw Mat lying limp on the ground.
“Egwene, Nynaeve, please, hurry,” he choked out. His own skill in Healing was sub-par, if barely that. Nynaeve was the strongest Healer alive, and she also knew where this house - Mat's parents’ house - was. And besides, he wouldn't be calm enough to seize saidin , anyway. He scanned Mat's body, taking in the purpling bruises, cuts, and other abrasions. Fire hot rage filled him again, and he wasn't sure he could control himself unless he directed it at something productive. Without saidin , he could still help Mat by trying to stop the bleeding naturally until Nynaeve got there.
He heaved Mat off the pavement, not caring if blood got on him, and pulled him to Rand's car. Thankfully he always kept a first-aid kit in the glove box, full of gauze, medical tape, bandages, and cleaning supplies. After he gently set Mat down in the passenger seat, he grabbed the kit and began to make a tourniquet to staunch the bleeding from his arm. There was nothing he could do about his nose or mouth, but he could do the arm. It was in that moment that he noticed that Mat’s skinny jeans had wet patches on the back of them. How strange…no time to think about it, now, though. The bleeding had to be stopped.
First aid training kicked in as Rand wrapped the gauze tightly around Mat's arm, a few inches above the nasty cut. He knotted the top and found a pen to stick through it before knotting it again. The blood oozed out, deep and dark, which meant it was working. It would only work for so long, though. He hoped Nynaeve would get here soon.
While he waited, he tended the shallower cuts and scrapes, though he had to pull a glass shard gently out of Mat's leg which made him twitch. Soon enough, Nynaeve was there. A tingling sensation on his arms told him that she held saidar , the female half of the One Power.
“Give him here, Rand,” she said softly, opening the door to Mat's side. His chest knotted tighter than the tourniquet he'd made. Her eyes held the fury of an older sister, but her tone was easy with him. Everyone knew how he felt about Mat, including Rand himself. He'd just never worked up the courage to tell Mat, mostly because he didn't even know if Mat was into guys.
“Can you…can you do it here, Nynaeve? Please?” he asked, trembling. He got out of the car and went to stand right next to her. The slightly older woman pursed her lips, then nodded.
“Alright.” She grabbed Mat's head very gently and began her weaves though Rand couldn't see them. After a few minutes, Mat's eyes popped open and he convulsed for a little bit before panting to catch his breath. He took in Rand, who was crying silently as he watched all of Mat's injuries fade away, and Nynaeve, who looked weary but was smiling.
Oh. Oh . They knew. Blood and bloody ashes. He turned his head away, flushing. Bad enough that it was happening, even worse that people knew now.
“You bloody idiot!” Rand said hoarsely, scrubbing the tears from his eyes as he flung his arms around Mat. Tears still fell from his face as he held him tight. Rand nestled his head in the crook of Mat's neck, craving his warmth and, for once, not caring how it came off. Caught off-guard and knowing it was Rand who was touching him, Mat held the other man and rubbed his back soothingly. For some reason, this all felt…right? Natural? Mat wasn't sure how to describe it in a way other than he really liked it. It'd felt like this with Rand for a bit now, Mat would say half a year? He was enjoying it more and more with every day.
Nynaeve stood patiently to the side; she wanted the two boys - men, really - to have their moment before she set her fury upon Abell Cauthon. Her arms were folded under her chest: a snake coiled up and prepared to strike.
“Why didn't you tell me, or Egwene, or Nynaeve, or anyone? We could've helped you, Mat…” Rand trailed off, his eyes threatening to spill more tears. He stared Mat straight in the eyes, which caused him to smile a little. Why was he smiling?
“Because I don't want to make my problems your problems, Rand, or anyone else,” Mat finally whispered after about a minute of them staring. He looked down after that, the smile faded.
Rand's heart shattered into a million pieces. He felt like a burden to Rand and all of his friends who support him.
“You, Mat,” he said, taking Mat's hand in his own, “could never ever be a burden to me, or anyone else. We love you! I love you!” He only barely managed to not flush crimson which would be a dead giveaway. He hugged the man tighter, not ever wanting to let him go.
Nynaeve’s patience was thinning. “So, Mat, after the first time, why'd you come back?” she asked, masking her impatient tone just so. After he broke the hug with Rand, Mat bit his lip, which meant he was about to lie.
“The truth, Mat,” Rand supplied. Mat flushed a little at being caught, but continued. He sighed. He was really going to have to tell them everything. Blood and ashes, this is the second hardest thing he's ever had to do. The first was, of course, leaving his parents house in the first place.
“Da is…he's…” Mat gulps, trying to find the words. Rand squeezes his hand and some of the tension loosens, but it's still difficult.
“I need money. Badly. I won't have enough to pay my part of the rent this month - no, it wasn't from gambling, Nynaeve, I had a lot of side bills - and I thought he'd help. Y'know, cause he's my da. Well, turns out that he wants me to stay home and…” he paled, remembering what had happened.
Rand inched closer and rested his head on his chest, and for some reason, it calmed him down. “He…I-I can't say it. I can't!” Well, not as much as he thought it had. He burst into tears, shaking and sobbing. Immediately arms were around him, rubbing his back, telling him it'll be alright. He knew it was Rand, but for a few moments, Mat could have sworn Nynaeve was hugging him too.
After the tears dwindled, the silence stretched on for a while. Nobody said a word. Until Nynaeve spoke up, her face a ghastly shade of white as she had realized something.
“He raped you. Oh, Light, he raped you. Both times. That's why I felt…” she whispered, her own eyes now spilling tears. Rand's hand on his back went very still. Slowly, excruciatingly slow, Rand looked up at Mat, who shied away from him.
“I'm going to kill him.” Rand's voice was the coldest winter night, and it honestly scared Mat. Nynaeve looked like a spider had crawled up her dress, so maybe it scared her too. He took a little comfort in that.
“Rand, no, please, I need the money…” Mat pleaded, and every single word of it was true. Rand looked at him then, his Rand. Wait, his Rand? A flush crept its way up his face at that thought, but he steeled himself anyway.
“If you were having trouble, Mat, I could have paid more rent. Perrin could have pitched in more, he owns a blacksmithing business for Light's sake! You didn't…you didn't have to…to go through that, for us,” Rand told him, sternly at first, then getting softer and softer as he went on. Mat bloody Cauthon and his fantastic bloody ideas.
Mat cried more. He didn't even know why, he just felt a need to cry more. Everyone was being so nice to him, and he felt like he did nothing to deserve it. So he cried. Nynaeve put a comforting hand on his shoulder, and he looked at her, blubbering like when he was a kid and he had stubbed his toe badly. She leaned down and gave him a smooch on the forehead, and it warmed him. Some things never changed, it seemed, and this was one of them.
Soon enough, a car pulled up and Aviendha and Egwene came running out, both wearing their blue uniforms.
“Alright, we got your text Nynaeve, we came back. Someone needed a drink first,” Egwene said, eyeing Aviendha who was contently sipping what looked like a soda. Rand snapped his head towards Nynaeve and mouthed, ‘thank you’. She smiled at him.
“Egwene? Aviendha? What are you doing here?” Mat asked them. Egwene immediately fawned over him, making sure he was okay while Nynaeve sniffed in indignation because she was the best Aes Sedai with the Healing talent alive. He avoided her gaze the entire time and so she turned to Nynaeve.
“Am I going inside to kill him? This man has toh towards Matrim Cauthon,” Aviendha asked in a deadpan, flashing some knives she kept up her sleeve. Egwene gasped in horror. “ No , you are not! We are going to arrest him and bring him to justice!”
Aviendha merely shrugged in response. She was still new to being an officer instead of a vigilante, and so some of her old habits crept through now and again. She did look…angry, though. Nynaeve must have told them both what happened. Mat wasn't going to like that, but what's done is done.
“I…I want to go back in,” Mad said, stumbling over his words in a way that was very unusual for him. Every single person looked at him, sitting in the passenger seat of Rand's car, like he was insane. And, truth be told, he probably was, but…
Nynaeve was the first person to say, “No.” The fact that that was all she said made it serious. Mat's face reddened and he said, “I'm going to. I need to tell him something. And…get my things. I never want to see d- him again. And my ma neither. Fuck the both of them. But they need to hear what I have to say.”
Rand stared into Mat’s chocolate brown beautiful eyes for a long moment, then nodded. “I’ll go with him. For…support,” he added, flushing a little. Mat nodded himself, then looked at the women. Nynaeve, in typical Nynaeve fashion, threw her hands up and sighed; Egwene, in typical Egwene fashion, clenched her teeth and set her jaw; Aviendha, in typical Aviendha fashion, said, “I can still kill him.” The collective “No!” that followed that once again only made her shrug.
It was settled then. Mat and Rand would go inside to talk to his parents, then after they leave, Egwene and Aviendha would arrest his father and take away Bode and Eldrin. Not the most pleasant of plans, but Mat refused to change his mind.
The two of them stood in front of the door. Mat started shaking, memories playing back of- and then, a hand squeezed his own, bringing him back to the present. He gave Rand a grateful look before opening the door to reveal his mother and father, sitting on a sofa and watching TV. At the sound of the door opening, Abell looked at his son and Rand holding hands and sneered.
“Brought a friend this time, boy? Won't give you no money unless you stay here a whole day without runnin’!” Abell Cauthon said. Mat flinched and reflexively squeezed Rand's hand tight. Rand, for his part, moved closer so their shoulders were touching as they stood side by side.
Breathing in deeply, Mat began, “I've endured your torment long enough. I won't put up with this shit anymore, from you or that old hag next to you.”
“You…you raped me, twice,” he croaked, tears spilling down his face, “your own son, your flesh and blood. I put my trust in you and you betrayed me every single time. I'm not dealing with it ever again. Because I have friends who care about me unlike you who never did. I love hi- them, and they love me.” He tripped over his words, thankful he caught himself before it was too late.
At that moment, he looked at Rand, who wiped a tear from Mat's eye. Light, but he was beautiful. He leaned in closer, settling his head on Rand's broad chest. Rand ran his hands through his hair softly, letting the tears soak into his shirt.
“If you ever lay hands on Mat again, I will kill you. You're lucky I don't do it right now.” Abell’s face went beet red with anger, and he stood up with a beer bottle in hand. Mat detached himself from Rand and glared at his father. The man paused for a moment.
“You won’t ever hurt me or my friends again, they’re more family than you’ve ever been!” he shouted. “Let’s go, Rand. This drivel isn’t worth our time anymore,” Mat said, smiling at him. Rand’s heart beat a little faster at seeing one of Mat’s genuine smiles; it was a rare occurrence, but always a welcome one. Sure, he had charming smiles when he was trying to get his way, but he always reserved te real ones for the people who were close to him.
Mat turned to walk out with Rand in hand when his collar was grabbed. “I haven’t had my fun with you yet, boy,” he slurred, his breath hot and smelling of beer.
Fear shot through him like a dagger, his alarm bells all ringing at once. “Let him go!” Rand growled, pulling Mat in one direction. Rand somehow produced a sword from thin air, made completely of fire. Abell, not to be deterred, kept pulling at Mat, trying to-
Oh, Light , he was trying to do it again. Mat’s brain shut down and he couldn’t hear anything. He felt numb suddenly, his limbs wouldn’t work. He faintly heard yelling and shouting, but nothing registered. Back and forth between the two of them, a ragged doll they were fighting over. He couldn't see anything either, he was staring beyond the wall his physical eyes were looking at.
“Alright, that's enough!” shouted a woman's voice, a familiar voice, a safe voice. Egwene. Flows of Air separated the three men, Abell landing on the carpet with an audible thud , Rand only gently getting pried from Mat. More flows of Air wrapped Mat’s dad up and kept him straight-backed.
“Abell Cauthon, you are under arrest for sexual assault and attempted sexual assault,” she said dangerously, coming into the room, her eyes chillier than ice could ever hope to be. Aviendha strolled into the room almost casually, a spear strapped to her back (where she got that, Rand didn’t know). Rand gently held out a hand, hoping Mat wouldn’t freak out.
In fact, he did the opposite. He cried onto Rand’s chest again, shaking uncontrollably at this point. Rand soothed him, whispering sweet nothings to calm him down. He looked at Nynaeve, then Egwene, then Aviendha. They all nodded, and Rand picked Mat up to take him out of here for the last time.
*----------*----------*
Setting down a sleeping Mat in his car (he had passed out soon after everything was finished), Rand strapped himself in before starting the car. However, he just sat there for a few minutes, mind catching up to the events that had all unfolded within the past half hour. Mat, being raped. His father, the rapist. His grip on the steering wheel turned white-knuckled to the point that it hurt. Hissing in pain and shaking his hand, Rand drove back to their apartment.
On the way, he looked outside. Leaving Emond’s Field always saddened him, especially when he thought about how he didn’t visit his father this time. All he could think about at the time was Mat. He pulled over and shot a quick text to Tam, knowing it would be several hours before he got a response. Tam was…difficult with technology at the best of times, and remembering to check his messages was lumped in with that. But still, he needed to let his father know why he didn’t visit.
Rand: hey dad, just letting you know there was a situation with Mat. sorry I didn’t visit. i’ll come see you next time.
To his surprise, Tam’s texting bubble popped up almost immediately. That never happened. He must be worried about Rand.
Tam: What happened, lad? He alright?
Rand: you should be told in person.
Tam: I’ll be there in 10.
Pocketing his phone, Rand kept driving. The rest of the time, he was wondering how he was going to calm Mat down when he woke up. A lot had happened since he had gotten to his parent’s house, and his mind would have to catch up just like Rand’s did. And when it did…well, him and Perrin would figure it out. They’d been through a lot of bad stuff together, so surely they’d make it through this too; but, this was something completely different. Would they make it through this?
Rand shook himself out of his thoughts as he pulled up to the apartment. Perrin’s car was there, which was good. Perrin actually being there would be very helpful. Deciding that Perrin could carry Mat easier, he went inside, leaving Mat in the car - ‘ only for a moment’ , he told himself. He rushed inside, noting that nothing had changed. That means Perrin wouldn’t know and he’d have to explain. Whenever he was upset, Perrin would always move things around so he could have a different feel in the room. The man himself was sitting at the coffee table, tinkering with something that Rand couldn’t quite identify. He looked up at Rand when he entered, and when he saw how panicked Rand was he stood up quickly. Where Mat was almost a foot shorter than Rand and more nimble, Perrin was broad-shouldered and almost to his height.
He asked in a deep voice, “Rand? What happened? Why do you look like you got caught playing a prank on Nynaeve?” If the situation weren’t dire, Rand would’ve snorted. They’d all played plenty of pranks on everyone in Emond’s Field as children, and gotten in an abundance of trouble because of it. Now was not the time for reminiscing, though.
“Perrin, it’s Mat. I need your help to carry him inside. Be gentle though, he’s sleeping. I’ll explain on the way to the car,” he said before rushing off back outside, assuming Perrin would follow him. Indeed, he heard boots behind him as he walked rapidly. When he caught up, Rand explained. With every word, Perrin’s expression darkened further until he nearly howled with rage and anguish.
When he spoke, it was darkly; cool, collected rage, precisely stored until it was needed. “I'll kill him.” It was almost the exact same thing that Rand had said when he found out. Mat had plenty of allies to help him recover, which made Rand feel better too.
They reached the car, and, thank the Light, Mat was still asleep. No fits or thrashing for which Rand was even more grateful. Perrin took a glance at Mat and his face instantly softened, his dark expression melting into something of concern and love. What kind of love, Rand couldn't say, but it was heartening to say the least.
Perrin opened the car door and took Mat into his broad arms with an air of gentleness, cradling the smaller man lightly. Breathing easier now that Mat wouldn't have to worry anymore, Rand and Perrin went inside and laid Mat on their blue couch. Moiraine had insisted on blue for her Ajah colors when she had bought it for them. It was decorated with flowers, daisies and chrysanthemums embroidered all over the leather.
Perrin and Rand both took a seat near him, watching him. “What are we gonna do, Rand?” Perrin asked quietly, voicing the question Rand himself had had the entire drive home.
“We'll help him. We can get Nynaeve, Moiraine, and Siuan, and even Dad here to help. That's all we can do. He's not going to take any of this well,” Rand said, combing his fingers through his short fiery hair anxiously. Perrin nodded dully, staring at Mat like one might at a fallen comrade. Rand patted him on the shoulder comfortingly, not entirely sure himself of how this would go.
They sat in silence for a time before Rand’s stomach growled loudly. Perrin glanced at him and then unhurriedly got up to go to the kitchen to cook. Perrin’s meals were always hearty and filling, so hopefully Mat would eat something when he woke. Hopefully.
Speak of the devil, and he shall wake. Mat shrieked and flailed around on the couch, tumbling on the floor with a crash that had Perrin running over to see what was going on. Mat's eyes were wide with panic, searching the room frenziedly. Rand went to grab his hand and he jerked it back, almost screeching, “Don't touch me! Please, don't touch me!” Tears leaked out of his eyes as he frantically pushed himself against the back of the couch, breathing hard.
“Mat, it's Rand,” he said slowly, calmly, as best as he could in the circumstances, “and you're in ours and Perrin's apartment. Do you…remember anything that happened?” Mat’s slow nod made Rand look down sadly. A heartbeat, that was all it took for everything to change.
Mat collapsed onto the floor and curled into a ball, sobbing uncontrollably for the third time that day. He looked so vulnerable, Rand wanted so desperately to comfort him. But he couldn't. Mat wouldn't let him. He stood there, contemplating what to do next in a frenzy of thought.
It was at that moment that Tam decided to knock on the door, with Mat a shivering and crying mess. “Mat. Mat,” Perrin said, taking over for him, “you’re okay. He can't hurt you here, not anymore.” Rand shot him a grateful look and went to answer the door.
When Rand opened the door, he hurried Tam inside to the bedroom so they could talk. His father was imposing, to say the least, but there was also an aura of kindness that usually trumped it. Today, though, the gray-haired man was all concern: for Rand, and for Mat too, he wagered.
“Lad, what in the Light is going on?” he asked gruffly, frowning at his son. The walls were thin, so of course, the sobbing could be heard. Rand took a deep breath, and then told him, sparing no details of their follow up encounter with Abell.
“WHAT?!” Tam roared, the intensity earthquake-like. “Dad, please, be quiet,” Rand pleaded hastily, making shushing motions rapidly. Tam dropped his temper in a flash, but his stony face remained.
“Well, I'm glad the women got him in the end, but…Light, Mat . By his own dad, too.” Tam seemed at a loss for words, which suited Rand just fine along with the sour mood. He left his father there to think about everything for a bit and went to check on Mat. Perrin seemed to have calmed him down (a pang of jealousy hit Rand at that thought), because he was in the kitchen cooking something. Smelled like a stew, boiled beef and vegetables making a heavenly aroma that drifted throughout the house. Mat was staring at nothing on the couch, his eyes hollow. The TV was playing some game show, but he didn't seem to be paying attention to it.
Sitting down about two feet away from Mat, Rand said, “Hey, Mat.” The other man turned his head a little to look at him, and Rand smiled. It was a start. Baby steps.
“Can I put an arm around you?” he asked slowly. He thought it'd be important to ask for consent for any touch, considering…well, everything. Mat looked at him a while longer before finally nodding.
At an excruciatingly slow pace, he moved closer and closer to Mat before wrapping his arm around his back, holding him close. Mat even laid his head on Rand. Deciding on something, Rand hummed a lullaby, though he wasn't the best singer. Mat's breathing started to slow until he fell into the steady rhythm of sleep. It was then that Rand looked at him again; he was so peaceful that no one would ever be able to tell what had happened only a few hours ago. Sitting there, with Mat so close to him, Rand made up his mind.
He was going to find a way to kill Abell Cauthon.