Chapter Text
After 3 years away, Sasuke chose Ino and Sai’s wedding night to return to Konoha. He was really, really, hoping to avoid encountering many people on the streets: after all, the village hidden in the leaves was known for its big weddings, and even bigger after parties.
Sasuke searched under the placemat for the key. Along with it, Kakashi had left him a note:
Okaerinasai
Back when Sasuke had expressed his wish to come back, Kakashi dutifully prepared him an apartment. Sure, the Hokage had sighed when his former student asked him not to tell anyone or make a big deal out of it - but still, he obliged.
Inside, the greyness of an unlived home swallowed him whole. The main room bared a kotatsu next to an open plan, small kitchen that led to a balcony.
Sasuke made an effort to remind himself why he was there: he had done his time wandering the continent, it was time to try to start his life again. Yet, now that he was finally standing in what was to become his new home, he couldn’t help but feel more alone than he had for the past 3 years.
He put down his backpack, closing the door behind him and taking off his cloak and shoes. The fridge, which Sasuke had expected to find empty so he could revel in his own sadness a bit more, was actually stocked with two cartons of Asahi beer. Sasuke had turned 20 last summer, after all. He chuckled at the thought that Kakashi prioritised leaving him alcohol rather than actual food. Bachelor, he muttered to himself, closing the fridge’s door.
The bathroom was small too, but more comfortable than anything Sasuke was now used to. He turned on the shower and watched himself in the mirror while he waited for the water to run warm. His hair was longer than it had ever been, almost past his shoulders. Dark circles formed gently below his eyes, and the thinness of his face betrayed his time on the road. Under the warmth of the water, Sasuke felt his muscles relax. Still, anxiety welled up inside him. Returning, restarting, what did that actually look like? How would his old classmates react, what would they think? Being away, he started to feel, was easier. It meant he didn’t have to expect anything out of anyone. It was safe, knowing he could only rely on himself. And most of all, there was no one to disappoint, no faces that betrayed the lost trust. Being back in Konoha, he felt vulnerable and exposed. As if he was asking for something he didn’t deserve, and that everyone around him knew he shouldn’t get.
That November was dry. With it came the wind, cutting through the streets, cold and sharp. It settled into the houses and frosted the windows.
Sasuke dried off and put on a comfortable long-sleeved sweater and pyjama pants. He turned on the kotatsu and began to boil some water. Through the balcony’s windows, Sasuke could see the lights of Konoha, fuzzy and warm. The village looked peaceful, in a way that was so right it hurt. Without him, things kept going.
Suddenly, he noticed how tired he was. It washed over him, wrung his heart out, and stayed.
That's when he thought he heard three knocks at the door. Unwilling to use his sharingan, Sasuke dismissed it. The long silence that followed proved him right. He got a cup out for tea and was grabbing the herbs from his bag when he heard it again.
Kakashi, he thought, even tho I told him I’d like to be alone tonight.
But it wasn't Kakashi when he opened the door.
"Naruto," Sasuke was surprised. His former classmate was standing in the doorway.
Naruto was wearing a suit, half-facing away, blazer tossed over his right shoulder. His tie had been loosened and the two first buttons of his shirt undone. He had, no doubt, come from Ino and Sai’s wedding. The boy glanced over his shoulder at Sasuke, and, too, seemed surprised. He quickly hid it, however, turning fully to shoot the Uchiha one of his typically big Naruto smiles.
Sasuke caught the first glance, nonetheless. He pictured himself as Naruto must have seen him, searching for what was wrong: wet hair, simple clothes, towel around his neck... it didn't take long for him to remember what he himself had seen in the mirror earlier that night: someone that was exhausted, vulnerable, inadequate. Right.
"It’s just like you to show up without saying anything, Sasuke," Naruto snapped him out of it in a friendly tone, warmth oozing from him. Sasuke didn’t know what to reply. "You don’t always have to act so cool, you know," Naruto pouted, now peeking over Sasuke’s shoulder into his apartment with curiosity. He lifted his left hand, showcasing two white plastic bags held casually between his fingers. "I brought food!" he grinned, pushing past Sasuke with all the carelessness in the world.
Naruto put down the takeaway on the kotatsu as Sasuke closed the door.
"Ah, this place is so empty," he continued as he walked around the flat, peeking into the bathroom and then the bedroom. "We gotta get you some stuff!" Naruto looked back at Sasuke after his lap around the place. "What’s up? No ‘oy, Naruto, stop being nosy, stop looking around my stuff, don’t toss your clothes on the ground’?" His Sasuke impression was the same as it had always been: bad.
Sasuke had no energy to bicker. In that moment, he was thankful for so much.
Not expecting a response, Naruto walked over to Sasuke and stood in front of him, puffing out his chest, chin up, reveling in something he’d just discovered. Sasuke felt the sparks of his old attitude catching up to him.
"What?" he finally conceded.
"I’m taller than you," Naruto said, proud.
Sasuke looked at the top of the blond’s head. "Only by two centimetres," he deadpaned.
It didn’t matter to Naruto, who grinned again. "I’ve grown taller than you," he asserted. Sasuke smiled, a small smile, but a win in Naruto’s eyes. "I’ve got more muscles, too." Naruto teasingly bumped Sasuke with his shoulder and headed for the table, leaving him no time to respond. "Let’s eat!" He said.
"Naruto," despite thinking he would want silence that night, Sasuke found that he was grateful for Naruto’s presence. Still, he couldn’t help but feel like an interruption. "You don’t have to be here. You should go back to the wedding."
"Nonsense," Naruto was undoing the knots of the bags and laying out the containers and chopsticks. "I spent the whole day there. Besides, Ino and Sai are like, proper in love... it’s kinda gross. They-only-have-eyes-for-each-other kinda gross," he shrugged. "Won’t even notice I’m gone."
Sasuke assented, feeling unsure of how to act. Truth be told, even if Naruto’s attitude was inviting, Sasuke was also intimidated by it. His casualness contrasted with the way Sasuke thought things might be after so much time away, and he found he felt he owed Naruto formality.
"Do you drink?" he asked, registering that he didn’t know.
Naruto looked up at him, now sitting under the kotatsu and rolling up the sleeves of his shirt. "Yeah, I’ll have whatever you’re having!"
Sasuke nodded, going over to the fridge to grab 2 of the Asahi and then joining Naruto at the table. Instinctively, he opened the first bottle with his mouth, second-guessing himself only when he saw the unexpected look on Naruto’s face.
"Oh. Do you mind?"
Naruto smiled and said no with his head. "Resourceful," he added.
Sasuke shrugged, hinting at his missing left arm, and slid the bottle towards Naruto, proceeding to open the second one in the same way.
For the first time that night, Naruto looked somewhat sad. He washed it away, lifting the beer triumphantly towards Sasuke. "Kanpai!"
Sasuke smiled his tired smile again, clinking the other bottle, "Kanpai."
Naruto laughed and drank heartily and spoke fast, filling the room with yellow and orange. Before Sasuke knew it, the apartment didn’t feel so empty anymore. Without needing to be asked, Naruto spoke of the village, his time studying to finally become a Jonin, and the missions he had completed over the years. Sasuke had never been so glad for his friend’s willingness to talk and talk and talk. After sharing a meal, it put him at ease. He could notice now how Naruto had grown into his body, occupying it with an ease that was typical of him, but more mature. Even his prosthetic arm suited him, naturally an extension of himself. Sasuke couldn’t help but think that, had he gotten a replacement, it would have bothered him for the rest of his life, never getting any movement quite right.
Not Naruto.
On his 4th beer, the blond's cheeks were flushed pink. He loosened his tie even more, looping it out over his head and leaning back on his arms. It was true, what he had said earlier. Sasuke couldn’t help noticing how Naruto had built more muscle than before. In the fitted suit, he seemed sturdy and healthy. But it probably slows him down, Sasuke thought.
"What about you?" Naruto was speaking, a peaceful look on his face, snapping Sasuke out of the depths of his mind.
"Sorry, what did you say?" Sasuke asked, lost. Naruto laughed, and Sasuke hoped he hadn’t been staring.
"What has it been like for you, since you left?" Enjoying their newfound common ground, Naruto finished his beer, taking a swig with his replacement hand. Sasuke’s eyes darted from it to his forearm, then his bicep, then his face.
"Oh. Missions. Mostly, missions." He was just on his second beer, not as emboldened as Naruto, neither by default nor intoxication. "Do you want another one?" he asked, getting ready to grab a beer from the fridge, avoiding his part of the small talk.
"I shouldn’t, no," Naruto explained, "I’d already drunk before, and I think I’ve had enough for tonight. Thanks, tho." He looked regretful at his own constraint. Or perhaps, at the way the Uchiha deflected the response.
Sasuke nodded, sitting back down. For the first time since Naruto arrived, they sat in silence for a while.
"Thank you, for coming tonight." Sasuke was looking down at the table when he said it.
It was a yielding Naruto didn’t expect from him, but one he welcomed nonetheless with a genuine smile.
"I should let you rest," he got up, gathering the bottles to throw them out.
"Leave it, leave it," Sasuke said with convincing simplicity. "I’ll do it later."
Naruto accepted slowly and collected the blazer from the floor, putting it on. He seemed tired now too, Sasuke thought.
But it dissipated with a smile. Naruto looked back before leaving. "Okaeri, Sasuke."