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World's Stupidest Detectives

Summary:

Cass figures something out, everyone realizes assumptions make an ass out of you and me.

Edited: 5/27/25

Chapter 1: Wrong Sitting

Chapter Text

“Okay,” Dick looked at Cass. “Why is it so important we all come to the dining room at the same time and not sit down?”

“Wrong sitting.”

“We’ve been sitting… wrong?”

“Yes,” She nodded, “Bruce foot, Dick right head, Damian left head, next empty us,” She pointed at everyone but Jason, “Rest.”

Bruce blinked, “Can you explain Cass? You’ve never had a problem before.”

“Wrong sitting.”

Dick frowned, “You're setting us up as if there was a pack omega, when a pack lacks one the pack alpha takes the head.”

Everyone turned as Tim face palmed, “We are the world’s stupidest detectives.”

Bruce frowned, “Tim?”

Tim turned to Jason, “Our Heart, will you join this pack of idiots for dinner?” Tim motioned towards the head of the table.

Dick blinked, “Are you saying that Jason is,” he looked to Jason, “Oh my god we’re idiots. The pups, the not random periods of anger, the anger when we just drop into your safehouse oh god we’ve been entering an omega’s outer nest without invitation. We’re extremely rude idiots.”

Damian frowned, looked over the group, “You… didn’t know? But I have talked about him frequently.”

Tim rubbed his face, “You talk about your Immi, which we didn’t know was Jason. Fuck I need more coffee to figure out how bad we’ve been fucking up.”

Cass waved to the head chair, “Jason, heart, eat with idiots.”

Jason looked at the entire group of embarrassed heroes shaking his head, “Next time, bye.” Jason slips out of the room, bewildered to find out why they had never treated him as an omega. Apparently they were all idiots who didn’t know.

Chapter 2: Revealing Idiocy

Chapter Text

Alfred frowned as Jason sat up on the med bay bed, wounds just finished being bandaged, “Master Jason I would prefer if you would spend the night.”

“It’s fine,” Jason slid off the bed, “I got a new safe house nearby and I’ll be good.”

“I have the Wayne Nest reading for your use. I hope I did not overstep by furnishing the room and moving a few things into it.”

Jason stopped looking back, “You can’t overstep, you’re pack elder and,” Jason glanced at his bike hand coming up to rest on one of the bandages, “I, the Wayne Nest?”

“Yes,” Alfred smiled brightened when Jason called him Pack Elder, “I’m sorry I did not make it ready until now.”

Jason shook his head, “You didn’t know.”

“Master Jason, it is my duty to care for you, I should have asked.”

“I never really gave you a chance, what with always leaving.”

“I should have figured it out when you didn’t want to come to the manor for tea. I am honored you welcomed me into one of your outer nests instead.”

Jason blushed rubbing the back of his neck, “You’re Pack Elder of course you can come into my outer nests.”

“Still an invitation is an honor. I know how possessive you must feel with the other’s… oversteps. I understand if you're not comfortable but I’d like to see for myself you're recovering in the morning.”

“I’m… the whole table and everything is so new, I don’t want to,” he groaned, unable to explain.

“Master Jason please will you answer my next question honestly?”

“I always do for you, or well refuse to answer.”

“Do you wish to stay in the Wayne Nest tonight?”

Jason nodded, “I do, but… I don’t want to make anything harder on everyone by suddenly being here all the time.”

“Master Jason I’ve had to install laundry baskets outside the Wayne nest room as the others keep putting various blankets, pillows or other things outside the nest room.”

“Outside?”

“They do not wish to push themselves anymore onto you than they already have, but they want things available if you want them without any stress from seeking them yourself or for you having to face their awkward attempts to offer things. They often replace items so you will have fresh scent items to pick from.”

Jason frowned thinking but seeing Alfred not so carefully hidden hope he sighed, “I want Damian.”

Alfred either didn’t try or was unable to hide his joy/happy/hope filled scent as he smiled and led Jason in the manor.

Pausing at where the line to the familial wing of the manor is Jason took a calming breath before stepping inside for the first time since Ethiopia.

-

Dick yawned as he carried his most recent scented blanket towards the family den to trade it out for when his Little Wing finally comes home, even for a night. Stopping he looked at absolute chaos that had been made of Alfred’s tidy laundry hampers.

He sighed and went to start cleaning up Damian’s latest revolt against them for, in his view, driving his Immi out, but was stopped at the familiar, yet foreign scent in the area.

Taking a quick sniff he found Damian’s leather/paint/pup scent and… he furrowed his brow at the second scent. It was fire/gun smoke/pain/blood/omega. Dick had to grab onto the wall. It smelled like Jason, an injured Jason, but it was definitely, “Jason.”

Shuffling came inside the den until Damian opened the door, Dick barely able to see the nest inside, “Grayson, if you wake Immi I will stab you somewhere painful.”

Dick softened his voice, “I’m, I’m not miss smelling, Jason is really in there?”

Damian nodded curtly, “Pennyworth convinced him to stay after his injury was cared for. He is sleeping much better than I’ve seen before,” he narrowed his eyes at the blanket, “Is that for Immi?”

Dick nodded, “I was going to switch it out.”

“Give it here, Immi was displeased with the scent of your previous item. I will deliver it so he can trade it out once he wakes.”

“Sure, do you think he’ll wake soon? Breakfast should be soon.”

“I believe he will wake within the next thirty minutes. We will arrive on time.”

Dick nodded again, “I’ll tell Alfred.”

“Make sure he knows to make Jasmine tea, Immi prefers it when he is injured.”

Dick smiled, “I will.”

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