Chapter Text
Takina woke to her alarm, gentle xylophone notes that slowly pulled her up out of sleep. At first, they had seemed like part of her dream. Now for a moment, eyes barely open, vision unclear, she had to feel her surroundings and recall where she was. By then, the dream had already half-slipped away, to be forgotten.
A bed, high off the ground. Soft white sheets that she had bunched up in her arms under a heavy blanket. She reached out, and there was an empty, cool spot the size of another person, where the sheets had been pulled up haphazardly some time before. That, together with the clinks of teapots and muted sounds of music coming with a slant of light through the cracked bedroom door, renewed her sleepy understanding of her surroundings.
Today was her first day of classes. This was Sapporo, in their flat near Asabu station. Chisato was in the kitchen, making tea and a small breakfast. It was time to get up.
Takina pushed the sheets down. She hesitated before getting up when she felt the cool air rush over her bare legs. Under the warm covers, she just slept in panties and a t-shirt. Every morning was a shock in the cold winter. They had to keep the heat down to save on bills. But she had promises to keep, so she swung her legs out of the bed and stood up. She slept by the shuttered bedroom window. Shivering, she pushed up one of the plastic slats and peeked outside with one eye.
Snow had blanketed everything in a forgetful white that was eerie under the halos of streetlights. More was falling. The snow kept coming this winter, especially now that it was early January. It had been snowy almost since they moved here in December. The buildings all around the four-lane road outside, from the small one-story ones to the multi-level complexes like her own, were buried in it. The scene reminded her of that movie she had seen months ago in Kushiro, and the haiku:
“Come, let’s go
snow-viewing
till we’re buried.”
The street, however, was passable. A large truck was coming up the street, with its slanted plow and bright light guiding it as it kicked up a wave of snow that landed on the sidewalks. The sidewalks themselves were partially cleared, sometime during the night.
School would be open today, without a doubt. Takina was both happy and anxious at this. She truly didn’t know what to expect. Somehow, it was scarier than her Lycoris missions had been. There were so many unknowns.
She moved back from the window and turned to walk around the bed. She felt her way by instinct to the chest of drawers at the foot of it and, opening a drawer, pulled out a heavy pair of sweatpants, then pulled them up over her cold legs. The music from the kitchen had gone, replaced by Chisato’s quiet voice on the phone. Takina turned on the light by the door and pushed it open.
This apartment was a one-bedroom almost twice as large as their studio in Kushiro. The bedroom door faced onto the side of a small living room, where they’d put a blue couch, a coffee table, and a TV. A glass, sliding door across from her covered by plastic blinds led onto a small balcony. Right now the apartment was mostly dark. Takina’s eyes went to the left, behind the bar, where the kitchen was. There one of the lights was on and it cast the dim glow that had been finding its way into the bedroom.
She walked to the kitchen, and, rubbing her eyes and folding her arms, turned and leaned against the bar to watch Chisato stand in profile in front of the stove. She had a small but noticeable lean in her posture, something that showed in her gait as well and served as a reminder of her injuries back in September. Her hair was still shoulder length, but it was blonde again. Daisuke had been able to dye it to a color that matched her roots back in November.
Daisuke...
Takina made a note to herself to call him and see how he was doing.
Chisato, with earbuds in and listening intently, was heating up a small pot of miso soup, watching it. She had on black sweatpants and a grey sweatshirt. She had left her phone on the counter by the rice cooker, which Takina sleepily realized was the source of the music that she had heard when waking up - a little song played when the rice was done. Chisato looked at Takina out of the corner of her eyes and smiled, then raised up the palm of her hand to her before looking back at the pot.
Takina understood the message, but didn’t really care to wait. She walked behind Chisato and reached around her waist, squeezing gently. She pressed her nose into Chisato’s hair. Chisato’s head turned slightly, but quickly went back. She felt Chisato’s fingers gently stroke her wrist and make the hair on it stand up.
“Got it. Thanks for the updates dad…yeah…okay, I will. I’ve got to get ready for work. Talk soon…bye…”
Takina, eyes closed, felt Chisato’s muscles move while she reached for her earbuds and pulled them out, then grabbed Takina’s wrist again.
“You know…I’ve got to finish breakfast if you want to get to school on time.”
Takina exhaled, “Is that so?”
She squeezed Chisato one more time, then let go, “Alright, then. I’ll get dressed.”
Chisato chuckled behind her. Takina went back to the bedroom, then into the adjoining bathroom. It was blue and white tile, with a high, narrow tub and a drain in the middle of the floor. She turned on the light over the vanity and took stock of her appearance.
Her hair was black again, but still boyishly short. She had settled on changing the color back right before they left Kushiro, after being indecisive for some time. Ultimately, the bleach blonde hair together with the unusual haircut had made her stand out a little too much. This felt like a happy compromise. Her old color, but very short on the sides and back, with hair left up top for bangs and to style.
She got her hands wet in the sink and pressed out a pump of product from a bottle by the sink. She just had to use gel and style it this way, which was another benefit of keeping it so short. Once she had run her fingers through it enough and styled it so that there was a small fringe of bangs over her forehead, she washed her face with some cleanser and cold water, then brushed her teeth. Pulling down her panties and sweatpants, she sat on the toilet to pee and thought of what she needed to pull from the closet.
When she had first come here, she had spent some time thinking about what to wear to school. She had little idea of what the average student wore. She had searched on the internet for pictures of college students one afternoon, sitting on the couch. There were cute, frilly outfits, dresses, looks with wide-legged pants and airy blouses. She quickly realized, though, that in the Hokkaido snow, fashion had to take a back seat.
She flushed the toilet and looked down at her panties.
She sighed.
What terrible timing. At least I don’t have to run missions like this anymore.
She picked up and threw away her bloody, used pad. It was the second day of her period, and her belly hurt, but there wasn’t much to be done. She leaned over and fished a new one out from under the vanity, ripped it open, and put it in her panties before pulling them up. Pausing at the sink, she thought of how long she was going to be out. Just one wasn’t going to be enough. She reached down and grabbed a few more pads from under the sink and carried them with her to the bedroom. She threw them on the bed, then pulled out a pair of heavy, black pants and thermal underwear, as well as a blue, long-sleeve button up to wear under a black, cable-knit sweater. She had knit it herself over the last month.
When she had gotten all the clothes on, she started to feel warm for the first time since leaving the comfort of her bed. She left the bedroom, reaching into her sweater sleeves with her fingers to pull down her bunched-up shirt, and saw Chisato sitting on the couch, holding up a bowl of rice and eating it with chopsticks. She had set out for Takina on the coffee table next to her a small bowl of rice together with a steaming bowl of miso soup and a hot cup of tea. Takina went to the couch and sat by her, briefly exchanging glances and softly smiling.
When Takina picked up her tea and took a sip, enjoying the warmth, Chisato started talking, “Ha. Nice to have you up as early as me, for once.”
Takina raised her eyebrows and set down her cup, “It’s not too bad. It’s strange for it to be dark when I wake up, though.”
Chisato chuckled, “Yeah, these northern winters are wild…”
Takina picked up the miso soup with both hands and held it to her mouth, drinking it. It wasn’t the polite thing to do, but it warmed her hands up. She looked at the table, mind still groggy and wandering.
Chisato set down her empty bowl of rice, “So, are you excited?”
Takina considered her response for a few seconds, “Yes, I think so…”
“Eh? Am I detecting a little hesitation?”
Takina picked up her chopsticks and rice, “Mm. Well...it’s just completely unfamiliar. I feel confident around our friends from Kushiro, or around Lycoris agents. This feels totally different, though. Girls my age? That’s…”
She took a bite of rice. Chisato bumped her shoulder against her and squeezed her arm.
“It’ll be alright, Takina. Just be you. You’re, like, really strong and confident. Just treat it like a mission - learn the info, act on the intelligence. It can’t be that scary.”
Takina wasn’t so sure. She felt a cramp and pressed a hand to her stomach, “Yes…I think you’re right.”
She set her rice down. She felt like changing the subject.
“How about you, are you looking forward to work?”
Chisato chuckled, “Yeah, of course! Gonna knock it out of the park. But I’m really looking forward to my shift at the food bank after. Sora’s gonna be on today too, so it’ll be extra fun.”
Sora Yasutake was another eager volunteer, a young man who Takina only heard about in conversations at home. He seemed nice enough. Her impression of him was quite vague.
“That’s good…What time is it, by the way?”
Chisato picked up her phone, “Looks like almost five forty-five.”
Takina stood up.
“Ah. My train’s coming soon. I’ve got to head out.”
She looked at Chisato, who, still seated, turned and looked up at her. She was half-smiling and reached up to rub Takina’s arm.
“Okay. Go get ‘em.”
Takina exhaled through her nose and felt the corners of her lips turn slightly up, “Will do.”
She pulled away and went to the bedroom, grabbing the black bag she had packed the night before with her laptop and a few other things, including a knitting project to pass the time on the commute and between classes. Unzipping it part-ways, shoved in the extra pads and her cellphone that were lying on bed. She then carried it out through the living room, stopping by the couch to bend over and give Chisato, in the middle of drinking her tea, a kiss on the forehead.
“I’ll see you this evening.”
Chisato’s eyes squeezed shut and she smiled, “See you.”
Takina went on, to the front door by the kitchen. Her heavy boots were there, and her parka was hanging on a hook with gloves and her subway card shoved in the pockets. She set the bag down then sat on the floor by the landing to pull on the boots, which were tall, black, and water-proof with laces. When she had laced them up, she stood and put on the parka one arm at a time, then pulled up the hood and put on her gloves. She settled the straps of the bag on her shoulder, tucking it under her arm to protect it from the snow.
After unlocking the door, she held the handle and took a deep breath. She was preparing herself for the day as much as the cold.
She pulled down on it and stepped outside, pulling it closed behind her. The apartment doors in their building faced onto open walkways, exposed to the elements. Someone had come to shovel in the few hours before, but snow still fell down slow and steady. Powder began to cover the scrape-marks where the shovel had passed.
After she had taken it all in, Takina went step by step down the walkway. Each one made a soft crunch. The snow really was beautiful. She had been excited for it and not disappointed. One more promise that she and Chisato had fulfilled.
She made it to the end of the walkway and went down the stairs. They were on the fourth floor, so it was a fair distance down. She didn’t mind. It felt cold today even under all of her layers. Her cheeks stung. The walk, and being out of the wind, warmed her.
It wasn’t far from her building to the subway station, once she went out the exit door. It was just down the street at the corner of the intersection. There was a sign over it, next to the enclosure built to keep the snow away from the stairs. It had a green image of a subway train and an arrow pointing down next to the name in Kanji and roman letters, “Asabu Station.” She walked down the stairs under the enclosure, minding her steps. The air was warmer on her face as she descended.
The first level below was an open hall, with beige-painted pillars and walls covered in framed posters advertising products and local events. She scanned her subway card at the automatic turnstyle and passed through when it whirred open, then went down another flight of stairs into the station proper. There were two tracks around the central platform, one heading north, away from the city center, and the other heading south, towards Odori station, where she would have to change trains. There weren’t too many other travelers at this time, mostly older adults dressed in business attire and a few college-aged people. The train would arrive soon.
Takina, waiting, looked back and noticed someone coming down the stairs who must have been slightly younger than her. The girl stood out for being so young-looking in this crowd, in fact. She was shorter than Takina and had straight-cut black bangs. She looked miserable even under her heavy, snow-dusted black jacket with the hood up, sniffling and shivering. She widened her eyes when she noticed Takina’s gaze, then looked away.
That was Takina’s guard assigned by DA, Ayano Imamura. Unlike the guards in Kushiro, she was terrible at hiding. She had introduced herself at the beginning of their time here, and Takina found herself always catching her when she went out. Takina turned away and noticed Ayano standing in the crowd waiting for the train, only a few people over from her. She sighed and took a few decisive steps over. Ayano shrunk back and blinked.
Takina gestured to the empty tracks, “It makes me restless to always have you hanging back. You’re too easy to notice. Just stand with me, we can sit together.”
“Um, uh…”
Ayano’s eyes darted around, then she said, quietly, “Okay…”
The sound of the train was getting closer. Takina turned back to the track and peered down the tunnel. First there was only the light of the train visible, then the square, white front, and it rushed then all at once into the station, sending a gust of air that made her bangs flutter. It slowed and slowed, then stopped.
“Please make way for passengers exiting the train, the doors are opening…”
The doors slid open, and the train, coming from further north, was mostly empty. One or two people got off, then Takina walked in with everyone else, feeling that Ayano followed. She found a window seat and sat in it, putting her bag in her lap. She looked up at Ayano, standing there and looking at the empty chair with her arms folded. Takina looked away and gestured to the seat with an open hand, “Sit.”
Wordlessly, Ayano did so.
“Please stay clear of the doors. The train is now departing Asabu Station.”
As the train started to move, Takina felt another cramp. She took a deep breath, eyes closed, and exhaled. She should’ve packed painkillers. Maybe she could stop at a convenience store on the way. The wall outside slid by slowly as the train accelerated, then it disappeared. The dark, half-lit tunnel turned into a blur as the train sped up further.
Surprisingly, Ayano spoke up, “It’s so cold and early…and it’s so weird you’re going to school…What a crap assignment to get…”
Takina opened her eyes and turned back to her.
“What?”
Ayano was staring at the back of the chair in front of her, still shivering, “I m-mean, what’s the point? No one is going to go after two has-beens like you. You and Chisato were the best we had. Why go blow it all waiting tables and getting a degree . I definitely didn’t choose this. When I’m out of Lycoris, I’m going to make big money and stop doing all this grunt work .”
Takina looked down at her gloved hands.
“Oh…”
It was a common attitude among Lycoris Agents. She frowned.
“...I used to think like you. But, honestly, I’m glad I don’t anymore.”
Ayano snorted, “Huh? What’s that supposed to mean? Pretty arrogant…”
Takina remembered when Lycoris had been everything to her, still. It wasn’t long ago, if she counted the months. She realized now how much it wounded her, how little happiness she felt. She had a mindset not wholly dissimilar to her older sister’s back then. She hardened herself against a hard world. She felt at that moment that even the experience of getting up that morning with Chisato was incomparably more valuable than anything DA had given her.
She straightened up and looked out at the blurred lights of the tunnel going by, “I simply can’t help sounding arrogant, then, because it’s true. I found something else. Still, you have your own choices to make.”
Ayano was quiet after that. The memories of Takina’s time as a Lycoris slowly faded back into her mind. She mentally reviewed the route to take - head to Odori Station, change trains, take the blue line to Gakuen-Mae Station. Walk two blocks to the university. Soon enough, she would be sitting in her first class.
She wondered and worried what it might be like.