Chapter Text
An empty floating abyss.
He remembers it vaguely, when he first died. It’s been so long, sometimes he forgets he used to be human. He was old as shit before he died but still managed to retain his good looks from his conception. He remembered his breath fading away before being greeted into the warm arms of the Angels. He was welcomed and made into their own, glorious golden wings sprouting from his back and a halo of light adorning his head. He was awesome.
Was.
Right now he’s back in the abyss, floating in darkness. His chest ached, some gnat sized loser stabbed him a shit ton in the back. The last thing he remembered seeing was Lute, she had tears in her eyes, weird, he didn’t know she could cry, it was kinda nice seeing her instead of the dirt. She was screaming something as his mind drifted away. Her words distant as everything faded to black
Damn… Was he double dead now? First he learned angels could die too and now he was dying only a few months after. This fuckin’ sucks. He’s THE man, he’s not supposed to die like this! His body ached and was sore, it felt like he fell out of the sky again, this time no angelic might to soften the blow. Maybe this is what double death is.. A really uncomfortable deep sleep, if so that’s fuckin’ boring. Whatever, it seems like he’d be here for a long time so he might as well get used to it…
He felt something kinda pointy poke his cheek, pressing his skin, testing it. His face twitched. Sounds very slowly started to flood in, the noises of bustling streets, murders, and a distant explosion. “Damn, I think they’re alive.” he heard a young voice say. He slowly cracked open his eyes and looked up. A pink dog? Fox? Badger? Thing was poking his face with a stick, their magenta and yellow eyes squinting at him incredulously “Yep, they’re alive.” another voice was heard from out of his sight “Shit, guess I can’t steal their clothes….maybe. You think I could pass it off as my own and Velvette could give me a promotion?” The pink furry thing scoffed and rolled their eyes “She’d probably fire you if you tried to give her this crap.”
He slowly scooched away from the furry and propped himself up on his elbows “What….Where the fuck am I?...” his voice was groggy and horse like he just ran a marathon without water. He looked past the pink thing and saw dark buildings, blood covered streets, and a sky red as wine. The unseen voice moved into his sight, a huge snake man? He wore a floppy hat that had thin sharp horns poking out of it. The snake slithered in front of him and crouched down. “Welcome to hell. You must be new, you’re lucky Extermination day was canceled otherwise those angels would have picked you off fast.” the snake man flashed him a toothy yellow grin.
He blinked at the serpent, his mind slow to register what he just said, the man continued anyways “I’m Harley, Harley Landon. Business man extraordinaire, best in the biz, expert at sewing as well!” the snake, Harley, put a hand to his chest as he spoke loftily, a cane he carried at his side making him certainly seem professional, or at least just look it. “And that” Harley pointed to the short pink thing who was now poking other dead, maybe not, bodies with a stick “Is my assistant, Boris.” “Foster kid! Not by choice either!” the furry, Boris, called out, his lips curled up into a slight snarl. “Now, who might you be?” Harley looked him up and down.
Hell….he was in Hell… So did he just pass out? Why didn’t Lute carry him back up into heaven then? She was strong enough to do that, his rockin’ body wasn’t THAT heavy. These must be some of the losers that live here then, why aren’t they quaking in their…well they don’t have boots but the point still stands. He’s THE man! The FIRST man. The big D, the big guy himself! He’s “The Adam.” he responded.
“Huh” Harley stood almost straight, leaning on his cane a bit “You have the same name as the guy on the news!” the serpent almost chuckled. Adam squinted at him before his eyes met an electronic news board and he saw his masked face looking back in an unflattering way and over his face was the big bold words “DEAD”
…….. Oh shit.