Chapter Text
There was someone else in the room with Luo Binghe.
He could feel eyes on him the second he regained consciousness, along with careful hands pushing his body into position. The soft cotton underneath him told Luo Binghe he was laid upon a bed. He discreetly opened an eye to catch sight of the other person.
The room was covered in darkness, a thin sliver of light shining in from the nearly closed door. That didn’t matter to a heavenly demon, of course- he could easily make out each detail about the man hovering over him.
Binghe’s sigh of disappointment caught the other’s attention, but he really couldn’t care. One more trip, and another dead end without the person he’d been searching for.
They shared a few similarities- the light brown shade of his eyes, the elegant slope of Shen Qingqiu's nose- but that was the end of it. Thick frames covered a third of the man's face, and unlike Shen Qingqiu's flawless complexion, this stranger's skin was grey and dull.
Upon seeing this man, however, very few would look at his face. He was shamelessly baring his arms and legs, and even what he’d covered up was behind one thin layer!
And his hair! After being married to Sha Hualing for so many years, Luo Binghe thought he’d seen it all- but even the most shameless demons wouldn’t dare cut their hair so short!
Waking in a scantily clad stranger's bed. While it certainly wasn't the first time this situation had occurred, it was certainly the first time with a man.
“You’re awake!” He exclaimed. “How are you feeling?”
The second Binghe pushed himself off the bed, he threw his outer robe at the shameless human. “Cover up. This lord has no interest in your pathetic body.”
His host’s mouth dropped, then closed, then opened again, struggling to form words in his shock. Finally, he inhaled deeply and glared at Luo Binghe, tossing the robe back at him. “Well, this pathetic one is glad my lord is feeling better. Feel free to leave anytime you like.”
“Careful,” Binghe warned.
“I thought you were Luo Binghe,” the small man continued stubbornly. “I thought you repaid kindness a thousandfold.”
Binghe sneered. “Ah, of course. That’s why you dragged this lord to your home. How selfless.”
"I see," he replied coldly. "So if I expect gratitude, I'm selfish. If I don't expect anything in return, you can mistreat me."
…why was he arguing with this cipher? He had better things to do. “Where is my sword?”
The stranger huffed and walked to the room’s entrance, shedding more light through the opened door. "I'll bring it."
Humans could not touch Xin Mo, but Binghe did not inform him of that. It would be funny, watching this haughty, prideful man screech in agony as the sword devoured his mind.
Left alone, he explored the small room. There were many objects he didn’t recognize, and the few he did had extremely alien designs.
His ears perked up at the near interceptable sound they’d picked up.
Swoosh! Thunk! Swoosh! Thunk!
What was that?
Luo Binghe didn’t need to wonder for long. The door opened wider. The man had returned, and in his hand was… a mop.
Swoosh! Binghe watched with disbelief as the stranger swung the mop and hit Xin Mo with all his force.
Thunk! Xin Mo slid against the wooden floor and landed right at Luo Binghe’s feet.
“Phew,” he wiped at his face. “Here’s your sword!”
Binghe could hear his heartbeat pounding erratically from across the room. Not out of fear, as it should have been, but rather out of simple physical exertion. “You… hit it,” Luo Binghe said slowly. “Xin Mo. You hit the strongest sword in the combined realms with a mop.”
He shrugged. "Well, I can't exactly just pick it up, can I?"
Xin Mo shook with rage before him. Somehow, bending down to pick it up felt like a defeat.
Luo Binghe slashed at the air with his weapon, opening a portal back to his own world. He sent one last glance at the man watching him. "This lord will not murder you for your insolence."
"How generous," he replied dryly.
Binghe scowled and stepped through.
Why did it feel like he’d come out the loser from this trip?
After many weeks, he had time to continue his search.
Take me to Shen Qingqiu this time, Binghe reminded Xin Mo. Once again, Binghe stepped through the portal expecting the bamboo house and found himself behind the small man he'd met during his last attempt.
"It seems you insist on being an obstacle," Luo Binghe stated. The man jolted and whipped his head around to stare at him.
At least this time he'd covered himself a bit more- other than the thick beige outer layer covering his arms, there was also a sky-blue mask around his mouth and nose, reminding him of the veil Mingyan wore.
Binghe pointed Xin Mo at him. "Will you insist on getting in this lord's way until he cuts you down?"
The weak man tilted his head up (honestly, he was shorter than most of his wives) to give Binghe an unimpressed glare. "I’m just standing here!”
A beast’s bray caught Binghe’s attention, but the small human grabbed his outer layer and pulled him back quickly. A coach of some kind whizzed by at lightning speed, narrowly missing him.
“Ah, stay on the sidewalk!” The stranger exclaimed.
That was twice now this man had helped him. Neither times were strictly necessary, but Binghe was a magnanimous enough emperor to grant leniency. “Luo Binghe,” he introduced himself.
He blinked back at the demon lord. “What?”
“This lord is known as Luo Binghe,” Binghe repeated with much less patience.
“Um, Shen Yuan,” the human answered in turn. “I… already knew who you were.” The man- Shen Yuan- furrowed his brow. “Not a lot of emperors with glowing huadians and demonic swords.”
Shen Yuan recognized him? “Does that mean there is a copy of me in this world?” Excitement rose in his chest- that meant there could be a copy of Shen Qingqiu!
“Uh, no? You don’t exist here…”
Luo Binghe exhaled deeply, attempting to stay calm. Why was it he never felt anything but disappointment around this man!? He marched away from Shen Yuan, hoping to stomp off his frustrations, and was pulled back once again. “What!?”
“Don’t walk into the road, it’s dangerous!” The short man grasped Lup Binghe’s hand gently, guiding him towards the other direction. “I know a park nearby, okay? Then you can teleport home.”
Shen Yuan led him through the strange grey city, purposely avoiding any other groups of people. Nowadays, a procession followed the emperor whenever he graced a town with his presence. Being guided through an empty street… Binghe felt a pang of pain as he remembered his outings with his mother, the way they'd swing their arms as they walked. This stranger even had the sickly pallor he'd seen on her during her final days. All of a sudden he had the intense urge to hold Shen Yuan in his arms and protect him, to feed him every delicious and luxurious meal he could never give the most important woman in his life-
He snapped out of the strange thoughts with a shake of his head. Xin Mo must have been messing with him again.
They came to a stop at a little clearing surrounded by trees. There was one swing set, a slide, and a miniature horse on a spring. Binghe felt calmed by the sight. This, he could understand. Shen Yuan all but collapsed onto the swing, taking off his face mask. “You probably have questions.”
"No need," Luo Binghe answered. "This lord has already figured out the truth.”
Shen raised a brow. “The truth?”
“You are a woman."
“...what."
Binghe circled around his companion, raking his eyes up and down that small body from various angles. “There is a reason Xin Mo insists on bringing this lord to you.” Shen Yuan stiffened under the scrutiny. "This would not be the first time I've met a wife under disguise as a man."
"I think it's time for Lord Luo to return to his world," Shen Yuan replied rather coldly.
“It is not the first time a wife has played coy, either,” Binghe said with a wink. With the feeling of Shen Yuan’s angry stare on his back, Luo Binghe prepared to teleport to his world. “This lord will return when Shen Yuan is ready.”
He left before he could hear a response.
Binghe did not immediately run back to Shen Yuan.
He had an empire to run, enemies to vanquish, and wives to please. Shizuns from alternate worlds to chase down.
After two weeks, he finally decided it had been long enough and cut open a portal with Xin Mo. Steam blew into his face. He landed in a hot tiled room with a series of porcelain structures, and found Shen Yuan hiding behind a curtain, naked and screaming. "So Shen Yuan is a man."
“What the hell!” Shen Yuan screeched furiously, failing to cover his body with his thin arms. “Get out!”
Rain was falling atop him, the water coming out of a metal knob. Not only was it flowing without any pumping, it was warm, clearly created with the purpose of washing. It was a bit irritating to know a commoner had more advanced technology around his house than an emperor’s palace.
Binghe rarely regretted merging the realms, but one thing he did miss was the human world's gentle weather. He couldn't exactly kiss his wives in the rain when the sky was spitting down acid.
Well, he could. But it wouldn’t be very romantic.
"How does this mechanism operate?" Binghe tapped at the device with his finger.
“Can you get out!” Shen Yuan continued.
Binghe glowered down at the skinny man. “So now you care about modesty?”
Shen Yuan muttered something in another language, stepping out of the tub and hastily throwing a towel over himself. When he fled the bathing room, Binghe was left alone to tinker with the device. There were little handles that could control both the speed of the water and its temperature. How fascinating.
“Ahem.” Shen Yuan had returned wearing a fluffy white robe and glasses, standing in the room’s doorway with his arms crossed. "Is this going to be an everyday occurrence?"
“Seeing Shen Yuan naked?” Luo Binghe teased. “Do you want it to be?”
“Still not a girl. What are you doing?”
Binghe turned the water off. “Where did you acquire this artefact?”
“The shower? Everyone has them.” Shen Yuan hummed in thought. “But there aren’t exactly plumbers in your world… come.”
The man turned and walked off before Binghe could even reply. The audacity! Telling the emperor to follow after him like some pet!
Luo Binghe trailed after him, taking in Shen Yuan’s home. It was simple, yet far from humble. The sofa he’d seated himself on may have had a quiet design, but Binghe could tell it was made from high quality leathers.
While he studied the extremely lifelike portrait of Shen Yuan and his family (?), the man in question called out to him. “Is Lord Luo going to sit?”
Treating him with disrespect one moment and then acknowledging him as the emperor the next. Even as his interest grew, Binghe remained standing. Shen Yuan sighed and opened up yet another mysterious object.
“This is a laptop,” Shen Yuan explained. “It’s a portable computer. It has the internet on it, which can answer almost any questions you might have.” He glanced at Binghe. “Let me know if I’m going too fast. I know that’s a lot of words at once.”
If he’d heard such a statement from anyone else, Binghe would have ripped their head off. But Shen Yuan said it with surprising sincerity, so he opted to settle for flashing his eyes red. “Laptop, computer, internet. Does Shen Yuan think this lord is incapable of remembering three words?”
“...right.” He turned the ‘laptop’ to face Binghe.
Shower - Wikipedia: A shower is a place in which a person bathes under a spray of typically warm or hot water . Indoors, there is a drain in the floor.
Alongside the article was another extremely detailed and realistic picture.
“Where it says ‘search’, you can type in what you want to know and learn basically anything.” Shen Yuan continued. As if he’d read Binghe’s mind, he said, “you’re probably wondering about this photo, right?”
Binghe finally moved closer, sitting next to Shen Yuan. “Mhm.”
Shen Yuan smelled nice.
“That’s a photograph.” He picked the device up and placed it onto Luo Binghe’s thighs. “Just hit the keys to- oh, you don’t know English…” Shen Yuan tapped the laptop a few more times, until a similar board of letters appeared in characters he was familiar with. “Okay, now you can search for whatever you want…”
Shen Yuan’s lesson was thorough. The other man excitedly led him through the ‘website’ to answer more and more of Binghe’s unvoiced questions.
Shen Yuan yawned, then gasped. “It’s already one…!” He cleared his throat, pointing at the corner of the screen. “Here you can check the time and date. I’ll leave you to look up this world’s calendar… I have to sleep.” Binghe watched him stretch his arms and walk across the room. Shen Yuan placed a hand on a doorknob, then paused and glanced back at him. “Are you going to kill me in my sleep?”
Laughter burst out of him. “Do you want me to?”
Shen Yuan answered seriously, “I would prefer it if you didn’t.”
Still amused, Binghe shook his head. “Then in exchange for Shen Yuan’s information, this lord will spare him.”
Shen Yuan smiled. “Okay. Goodnight, Luo Binghe.”
For some reason, he couldn’t tear his eyes away from the door, long after Shen Yuan had closed it behind him. Those simple words had struck a strange chord with him. Goodnight, Luo Binghe. Binghe contemplated it and realized he… couldn’t recall the last time someone had wished him goodnight.
He shook his head. Right now he had more important things to think about.
It was admittedly a bit difficult to begin his research. There was an overwhelming amount of technological advancement compared to Binghe’s world, and Shen Yuan's scent lingered distractingly.
Why did Shen Yuan smell so nice?
Binghe studied well into the night. It was actually quite refreshing. He'd always had a thirst for knowledge, one that Cang Qiong never indulged- and Shen Yuan had just handed him a magical tablet that held all the knowledge this new land had to offer.
He drank in the texts greedily, memorizing blueprints to take back to his palace. Many of these inventions did seem to be direct reflections of magical artefacts Luo Binghe owned. The ‘record player’ seemed to serve the exact same purpose as the Radiant Spin Crystal.
He was halfway through the reading on air travel when the laptop’s screen went black. Pressing various buttons did nothing, so he slammed Shen Yuan’s bedroom door open.
Shen Yuan flailed, sitting up in a daze. “Wha- huh?”
“The laptop’s turned off.”
The man in the bed raked his hand over his face, sighing. “It’s four in the morning…”
Binghe tapped his foot impatiently. “Fix it. Now.”
It took several minutes of groaning before he actually crawled out of bed. “It just needs to be charged. See the metal part here?" Shen Yuan pointed at the prongs sticking out of the charger’s black end. "They're surrounded by rubber. Rubber doesn’t conduct electricity, which means it's safe for you to plug in." He inserted the prongs into the outlet and the charger lit up. "Don't stick anything metal into the outlet unless you're protected," Shen Yuan continued. "You'll probably be fine, but that kind of shock of energy can kill people."
Even half asleep, Shen Yuan insisted on such an in depth lesson. Luo Binghge gave a dry laugh. "It seems I found a teacher after all."
Shen Yuan turned the laptop on again, looking over at Binghe curiously. “A teacher?”
“This one has been in search of a master,” Binghe answered vaguely.
“You mean like…” Shen Yuan gently extracted a small book from his shelf, snapping it open to cover his face like it was a fan. In an instant, his face became cold and emotionless as he looked down on Binghe. With an unconcerned air, he regarded the demon lord as if he was an interesting fly. “This master will be sending you for a night hunt,” he drolled, “see to it you do not tarnish the sect’s reputation.” Then, Shen Yuan snapped the book shut and returned to his usual smile, and the air around him changed back just as quick. “Like that?”
Luo Binghe was speechless.
“Yes,” he finally answered in a daze. “Like that.”
Shen Yuan yawned, completely unaware of how much he’d affected Luo Binghe. “Well, let me know if you need anything else.” He stopped on the threshold of his bedroom, standing in the doorway as he gave Binghe a playful grin. “This one will be in his chambers, if Luo Binghe dares disturb his shizun.”
When the door closed behind him, Binghe was left to his thoughts. The aloof and stony way Shen Yuan had spoken from behind his make-believe fan was nearly identical to his scummy teacher.
But that teasing lilt afterwards, the almost humorous way he’d called himself shizun… that was exactly like the Shen Qingqiu he’d been chasing after.
[OP] How would you, hypothetically, explain the concept of electricity to a 200 year old xianxia emperor from a magical land?
> me at 3am: I have to go to sleep. my brain: how would I explain electricity to a 200 year old xianxia emperor from a magical land
> "this edible ain't shit" *two hours later* how do I explain electricity to a 200 year old xianxia emperor from a magical land
> ytube is a blessing! whenever my kids have questions I can just put on an educational video and usually I'll learn something too!
>> edited. [OP] An emperor would find those children's videos condescending
see original: Tried that. He found the videos condescending and blew up my PC
> lI'd give him a dorito and see if it kills him
>> [OP] The emperor would find it very underwhelming, and say the only reason he hasn't killed you for making him eat such garbage is that he wants you alive to tell him how electricity works.
> make him watch cocomelon
>> [OP] Do you guys just want me to die.
>>> [OP] Okay, update to Cocomelon. He hasn't moved in 5 hours. Not for a drink, not for the washroom, nothing. I'm not sure he's even blinked the whole time…
>>>> Doctor here! Watching Cocomelon actually makes you explode!
>>>>> [OP] Do you all have nothing better to do?
>>>>>> Hey ur here too
>>>>>>> [OP] Okay, fair.
> him: she seems so distant lately is she cheating her: how do i explain electricity to a 200 year old xianxia emperor from a magical land
> need more info
>> [OP] What do you need to know?
>>> have you been taking your meds
>>>> [OP] Yeah. I’d be dead if I stopped taking them.
>>>>> oh.. Fuck now i feel bad. Sorry dude. Hope you get better
>>>>>> [OP] It’s fine. Thank you, but let’s stay on topic.
>>>>>>> yo peerless cucumber lore is actually sad??
>>>>>>>> peerless cucumber is not a real person. like miku and jerma
> You're taking this specific hypothetical very seriously
>> [OP] I'm writing a book about a reverse transmigrator.
>>> HOLY SHIT GOU GYTS . PEERLESS CUCUMBER IS WRITTING A FUCIING SELF INSERT BINGGE FANFIC
>>>> [OP] FUCK OFF BINGHE IS NOT THE ONLY EMPEROR EVER WRITTEN.
>>>>> i speak for everyone on this god forsaken site when I say we support you bro
> OMG congrats on coming out!!
>> [OP] What???
> congrats on coming out king
>> [OP] I'm not gay!
> Congrats on coming out king 🏳️🌈
>> [OP] Very funny, you guys.
> congrats on coming out king!!!
>> [OP] How many of you are going to comment this?
> be who you are for your pRiiiDe
>> [OP] I hate you all.
> Congratulations on the gay self insert fanfic cucumber bro
>> [OP] That's it. Next person to say this, I'm just straight up going to say something that will get me banned
> congrats on coming out king
[Moderator has deleted reply.]
Binghe's eyes roamed over the words, understanding barely any of them. Eventually he picked up the laptop and entered the modest kitchen. "What is fanfic?"
"Fuck!" Shen Yuan jumped. Hot water and noodles poured onto the tiled floor, knocked off the counter in surprise. “Fuck!” Shen Yuan repeated again.
Binghe watched him throw paper napkins onto the mess. “...what is fanfic.”
Shen Yuan slumped against the kitchen’s wooden drawers. “Are you really going to be here everyday?”
Luo Binghe’s eye darted to the laptop, where the date and time was displayed. Although he’d gone back to his world for an entire week, the device only recorded one day passing for Shen Yuan. Binghe tucked that piece of knowledge away and continued. “Answer this lord’s question.”
Shen Yuan’s extremely miserable expression was wonderful to drink in. “It’s… stories.” He glanced at the laptop, his face crumpling into apprehension. “Stories written by fans.”
Binghe cocked his head. “And there are stories of this lord?”
“You don’t want to read them,” Shen Yuan whispered.
Binghe grinned. “On the contrary, I do.”
After sufficient coercion, his host opened a website full of ‘fanfics’ written by those who revered him. His grin growing wider and wider in amusement, he picked out the most interesting sounding stories and read them out loud to Shen Yuan. According to him, the one most ‘in character’ was a story where Binghe ascended to godhood and made love to the goddesses in heaven. Shen Yuan’s least favourite was one where Binghe had a soul mate , and one night of dual cultivation with her was enough to stave off Xin Mo for months.
After a handful of sob stories about Binghe finding ‘true happiness’, he turned to a fanfiction marked explicit.
“‘Luo Binghe squeezes your breasts,’” Binghe read aloud. “‘You never would have thought a simple run in with a stranger would lead to you being pounded into a public wall by the emperor himself.’” He hummed in approval. “This is very accurate, that is indeed the course of action this lord would take."
Luo Binghe waited for Shen Yuan to rant about the plot, as he had with the other stories, but the man remained silent. Binghe grinned with pure joy when he saw how flustered his host had become.
Unshakeable Shen Yuan, who was ever so casual about his own death, finally had a reaction.
"Shen Yuan's face is red," Binghe commented, and watched with glee when Shen Yuan jolted.
"I’m getting second hand embarrassment for whoever wrote that!” Shen Yuan insisted. “How can I not, with you reading that garbage out loud!?"
He quickly memorized the rest of the page before abandoning the device. Luo Binghe moved closer, crowding Shen Yuan against the side of the sofa. His hand glided across the seat and caged the other man in place with his arms. "'The emperor's hands come to rest over your chest, playing with your sensitive nipples…’" Binghe recited, maybe just putting a bit more effort into making his voice sound sexy as their faces inched closer. “‘You beg for him to spend inside you.’”
Shen Yuan froze stiff in panic, his cheeks deepening into a lovely pink shade as he stared at Binghe with wide eyes. “Stop it…” His heart was pounding again. And this time it wasn’t just from something like a little exercise.
During his time in the Endless Abyss, Luo Binghe had learned to enjoy tormenting his food and watching it squirm. When he squeezed Shen Yuan’s waist, the little yelp that escaped the man was incredibly entertaining.
“‘But Luo Binghe won’t let you go that easily. He’s going to use you for as long as he pleases.’” When Shen Yuan turned his face away, Binghe grabbed his chin with his spare hands, forcing him to look back. Their lips were nearly touching- Binghe could feel the other man’s breath against his mouth. Shen Yuan swallowed nervously, and Binghe watched his throat bob. “‘Perhaps your place is here, on the emperor’s cock… you’d love to be one of his little toys for the rest of your life-’”
Shen Yuan pushed at Binghe’s chest. “Get off.”
“Come now, is Yuan-er feeling shy?”
He couldn’t tease much more than that. Shen Yuan’s heartbeat had become abnormally irregular, and one of his hands came to squeeze at his chest like he was in pain. The grin slid off Binghe’s face in an instant. “Stop,” Shen Yuan rasped.
The sudden drop in mood had Binghe pulling back, confused. Shen Yuan pushed himself onto his feet, then paused in a daze, as if that small amount of movement had taken too much out of him. He didn’t even look in Binghe’s direction as he walked away and closed the door separating his bedroom from the main lounging area.
Just a few minutes ago, he’d been teasing Shen Yuan and enjoying himself. Sitting alone, a hollow feeling sprouted in Binghe's chest.
He followed after him, and found the door locked. Binghe huffed in irritation before summoning a fireball hot enough to melt the metal handle and swung the door open.
Shen Yuan was sitting in the dark, a band of cloth wrapped right above his elbow. A small machine in front of him flashed a series of numbers, and he ripped the sleeve off. “Usually when a door is locked, that's a sign to leave it be.”
“You seem better already,” he commented.
So come back already, his traitorous heart whispered.
Shen Yuan sighed and gave Binghe an exhausted frown before turning his back to him. "Leave me alone, Luo Binghe."
…fine. It wasn’t as if he was lacking company. Luo Binghe left Shen Yuan’s quarters and picked up Xin Mo where it was leaning against the sofa.
Then he put it back down and picked up the laptop. Closing the tabs with the fanfics, he returned to researching this world. He couldn’t read a thing as he scrolled the webpages, however. His attention was solely focused on Shen Yuan’s breathing slowly evening out in the other room.
Shen Yuan slept for fifteen hours straight.
Luo Binghe frequently snuck into the room, making sure the man was still alive. Everytime Shen Yuan's breathing would pause, Binghe would hold his breath along with him, refusing to relax his tensed shoulders until Shen Yuan inhaled again.
Shen Yuan was… informative. It would be annoying having to find someone else to teach him about this world.
Instead of using the laptop to look for blueprints to take back to his palace, Luo Binghe searched for how to use the appliances in Shen Yuan’s kitchen. Payment information and the home’s address was automatically saved into the device, so Binghe ordered groceries online.
By the time Shen Yuan woke up, Luo Binghe had practically prepared a feast spread across the table.
“Okay, new rule,” Shen Yuan said as he stared at the food. “I thought this went without saying, but you’re not allowed to bring women here. I don’t want to hear ‘heaving breasts’ and-”
“It’s for you,” Binghe interrupted.
Shen Yuan's eyes were always a delicate and sharp shape, but now they became so round in his surprise that Luo Binghe had to force down a grin. “For-for me?”
Cute.
Binghe pulled out a chair, gesturing for him to sit. Shen Yuan followed, visibly flustered. It was clear he wasn’t going to talk first, so Luo Binghe coaxed him by placing several dishes on his plate. “Start with the lettuce wraps for an appetizer, or Shen Yuan can skip right to the rice if he prefers.”
Shen Yuan preferred… everything. Binghe watched, amazed, as the small man put away a considerable amount of food. Where in the world was all of it going?
Shen Yuan had the most overjoyed smile Binghe had ever seen on him as he ate his way through another plate. By the time he’d reached the sponge cake signifying the end of the meal, Shen Yuan chewed slower as if he was trying to savour it as long as possible. When it was done, he looked down at his empty plate remorsefully.
Really, really cute.
Binghe leaned his elbows on the tabletop, grinning at his host. “I take it Shen Yuan enjoyed breakfast?”
Shen Yuan blushed, dabbing at his mouth with a napkin as if he was trying to hide behind it. “...it was okay.”
Luo Binghe couldn’t suppress his laughter.