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ADA
The homosexual tension was increasing as the days went by. Now that Oda and Ango were together, they were no longer victims of the constant teasing. The others couldn’t escape the homosexual allegations, though. There wasn’t a day that the kiss didn’t cross Dazai’s mind; it was there day and night. He kept telling himself that he just did it to piss Chuuya off (as if). Kunikida was roped into the mess since something was going on between him and Bram. It’s all just friendships, right?
The same was true for Tecchou and Jouno; the way they denied the comments was by bickering even more. Honestly, that made members at the ADA tease them more since they always fought like an old married couple. Sigma was having a blast teasing Fyodor with the pictures that were taken of him and Nikolai at the ice rink.
Fukuzawa came into the office and pretended not to notice the flyer labeled “The Gay News,” made by Ranpo and Poe, with a picture of Mori and him in it. He cleared his throat to get the attention of the other ADA members.
“We have a case,” Fukuzawa said. The other members stopped bickering and started to hear what Fukuzawa had to say. “There’s an ability user on the loose. What we know so far is he can make a person fall in love with someone else to the point they die of starvation and dehydration due to their inability to perform daily survival tasks. This case will be hard to accomplish by ourselves; we’ll have to ask some of the Mafia members for help.”
Port Mafia
Hirotsu and Tachihara teased their coworkers with the pictures from their Christmas celebration, as well as the ones Sigma sent for blackmail. The only one not getting teased was Chuuya since he always turned into a different person when Dazai was mentioned (who could blame him, though). Mori came out of his office, followed by Elise.
“We will be helping the ADA with the ability user on the loose. The chosen ADA members will join us later today to go over the case,” Mori said as Elise put down several folders. Chuuya grabbed one, which turned out to be ‘Fukuzawa’s favorite breed of cats.’ He quickly put it down, pretending not to see anything, mildly disturbed. Elise laughed softly and handed him the correct folder.
“It says that it will force people to fall in love and prevent them from doing daily tasks. Do we know any of their weaknesses?” Chuuya asked, and Mori nodded.
“I will explain the user’s weakness when the Agency members arrive here,” Mori said, manipulating the situation by changing the weakness of the user for his plan to work.
One hour later, the ADA members arrived. The pairs refused to make eye contact, which made Sigma roll his eyes. Mori went through his notes, ensuring everything went according to plan, even if it meant dragging a case that could be solved with Chuuya’s ability. He clapped his hands to get everyone’s attention, but Fukuzawa just side-eyed him.
“I’m so glad everyone is here. We are going against an ability user that makes people fall in love with whoever the arrow hits. Their weakness is to pair each of you up with the last person you would ever date! Which is a relief because everyone wants to kill one another here!” Mori said as he pulled out another folder.
As each member looked over the instructions, they noticed they were paired with the person who kept making their hearts speed up, probably due to the migraines.
“Are we going to fight him or?” Fyodor asked as he noticed his instructions only said to stand with Nikolai at a specific spot.
“Oh, that will not be necessary! Fukuzawa-dono and I have a plan. We just need each of you in that spot,” Mori said, giving them a suspicious smile.
‘We do?’ Fukuzawa thought to himself. He opened his mouth to remark on Mori’s mistake, but Ranpo shook his head. It seems they had to go through with this plan.
“Yes! Now hurry before the user gets away!” Mori shooed away each duo.
The only ones who had any idea of what was going on were Ranpo and Poe. They hoped that Dazai and Fyodor being around their partners would distract them from figuring out the plan. Or that they were too much in denial to piece everything together.
The duos were driven to their destination for the case. Team ‘Third-Wheel’ (consisting of Sigma, Junichirou, Kyouka, Kenji, and Tachihara) were just waiting around for their assigned person to get to the destination. A few minutes after everyone left, Ango showed up (he wanted to be with his boyfriend, okay?).
“Doesn’t this guy have his own house?” Mori grumbled to himself, Ango was always everywhere.
“I’m glad the Agency and Mafia agreed to help us with this case. It’s been a pain,” Ango said, Oda placing a kiss on his cheek.
Ango reached for the folder, and as he skimmed through it, his eyes widened.
“What!? That’s not his weakness!” Ango exclaimed. Causing Oda to furrow his eyebrows.
“What do you mean?” Oda reached for the folder, but Mori didn’t notice the situation.
‘The user’s weakness is for the two people that get hit to be in love with one another already! It won’t work on them if they’re in love already!” Mori chuckled at Ango’s comment.
“You’re right, Ango-kun. That is not the user’s weakness. However, it will help the blind idiots realize their feelings.” Mori added. Fukuzawa sighed, so that was his plan all along.
“I hate to say it, but he’s right. Once each pair realizes what is the actual weakness, it will push them to confess,” Ranpo added, “Otherwise, they will be too stupid to say anything.”
Everyone was getting tired of third-wheeling every pair. If they all confessed, the constant pining would finally end.
“Why not tell them the truth about the weakness?” Sigma asked. It would’ve been easier to just tell them the actual weakness. “They will probably think they genuinely hate each other.”
“Because it will be entertaining,” Mori added like it was a good enough excuse.
Hirotsu and Fukuzawa rolled their eyes. Of course, he made it complicated for his amusement.
The Homosexuals
Meanwhile, in the city of Yokohama, each duo was positioned in their instructed location.
Dazai and Chuuya stood side by side outside the Agency, waiting for any clue.
‘Wretched boss, making me work with this asshole.’ Chuuya thought to himself, ‘Stupid Mackerel. Who kisses someone and then never mentions it!’
“Now Chuuya, don’t strain yourself. Your feeble brain can’t take it,” Dazai teased, and Chuuya clenched his fist.
“Listen here, yo—what the fuck!?” A sharp twang echoed through the air, followed by mutual gasps of pain from both men. They clutched their sides, puzzled. Matching pink heart symbols were engraved on them, disappearing as quickly as they appeared.
“What the…?” Dazai's voice trailed off.
Before Chuuya could respond, a similar scene unfolded across town. Atsushi and Akutagawa were in a different alley.
“I noticed you haven’t killed anyone lately,” Atsushi mentioned to Akutagawa.
Akutagawa felt his heart twist at the words. He hadn't killed anyone, despite more than six months passing since their agreement.
“I have better things to do, Jinko. Unlike you—JINKO!” Akutagawa yelled as he noticed the arrow hitting them, too late.
“Ow, what the hell?” Atsushi noticed the hearts on both of them. Again, they vanished like nothing.
Meanwhile, in another secluded corner of the city, Fyodor and Nikolai were positioned.
“Fedya! Look, this one looks just like you!” Nikolai exclaimed, showing Fyodor a rat he found.
Fyodor fed the rat a piece of cheese from his pocket.
“Awww, can we keep him? Come on, Fedya! You need friends, even if they are rats,” Nikolai said, and Fyodor rolled his eyes. He was about to respond when...
Whoosh! The arrow hit both men. How did they not see it coming?
‘The symbols… they disappeared?’ Fyodor pondered as he watched them vanish.
Back on the streets outside the Port Mafia, Tecchou and Jouno were bickering as usual.
“We were told to be careful and stop trying to solve everything with your sword!” Jouno grumbled.
“We would solve this faster if we just cut to justice,” Tecchou shot back, “You only want to catch the guy to torture him.”
Their argument was cut short by a sudden sting on their bodies.
‘How did I not hear it?’ Jouno wondered as he felt the sting.
“Jouno… The heart, it’s disappearing,” Tecchou said as he watched both symbols disappear.
Jouno furrowed his eyebrows. He couldn’t see the symbol, but he couldn’t feel any elevation of arousal or heart rate from Tecchou or himself. Did the ability not work on them?
Meanwhile, on a nearby rooftop, Kunikida and Bram stood together.
“I don’t know how to feel about this plan. There are no instructions. No schedule. No plans! It’s disorganized!” Kunikida grumbled, looking over his notebook.
Bram chuckled, “I admire your human expressions, they’re quite captivating.”
Before Kunikida could respond, they both felt the arrow hit them.
‘Why is it disappearing?’ Kunikida noticed the symptoms didn’t show up for him or Bram. It was obvious the arrows belonged to the ability user who was on the loose.
‘Am I the last person he would date…?’ Kunikida's and Bram’s thoughts mirrored each other.
Finally, near the lake, Higuchi and Gin were positioned.
“You know, the reason you probably don’t have any friends is because of those knives you always carry,” Higuchi pointed out, and Gin glared at her.
“What? I’m just making an observation—” Higuchi's comment was cut off as Gin cried out from the sting of the arrow.
“Gin—” Higuchi felt the arrow hit her side, her eyes widening in astonishment as the matching hearts disappeared from their bodies.
Mafia Building
Back in the Mafia building, a ringing sound echoed across the room, accompanied by the words ‘Strike Successful’ on the screen in front of Mori.
"What did you do?" Fukuzawa asked, his gaze piercing as he directed his question at Mori.
“Each duo got hit by the ability user,” Mori said matter-of-factly.
“I meant, how did you orchestrate all of this?” Fukuzawa rolled his eyes at Mori.
"I instructed Kouyou and Hirotsu to apprehend the perpetrator and bring him to me," Mori replied calmly, meeting Fukuzawa's eyes without flinching. "The culprit was a rookie, easily manipulated. I struck a deal with him: the Mafia would spare his life if he carried out a mission for us."
Poe interjected, connecting the dots, "The mission being to strike the duos with the arrows."
Tachihara voiced the concern that had been nagging at them all, "But what about Dazai-san? Fyodor? Jouno? Gin-kun? Two of them are geniuses, Gin is an assassin... and Jouno possesses enhanced senses."
Mori leaned back in his chair, twirling a knife between his fingers as he explained, "Recently, Dazai-kun and Rat have been unusually relaxed around their partners, making them easier targets. They're also too deeply entrenched in denial to entertain the idea of ulterior motives."
He continued, "As for Gin and Jouno, I have leverage within the Mafia. One of our ability users specializes in crafting weapons with minimal sound emissions. This ensured that even Gin's keen senses and Jouno's heightened awareness were effectively neutralized."
Everyone was dumbfounded. All of this is just to prompt each duo to confess.
“You changed the weakness. They didn’t realize it didn’t work due to mutual feelings; instead, they think it's out of hatred,” Sigma added.
Mori turned to him with a raised eyebrow, “Do you think the truth would encourage them to confess? They would’ve run away from those feelings. It’s too straightforward.”
They couldn’t deny it; Mori had a point.
“So what? We will wait until one of them explodes and confronts the other?” Oda asked, unsure how much he and Ango could take of Dazai moping.
“That won’t be the case because next week,” Mori pulled out a flyer from his pocket, “We are going to the country of love.” Mori flashed a flyer, ‘Across Europe’.
“We are going to Europe?” Kenji exclaimed, his eyes widening in excitement.
Everyone sighed. The following week was going to be a pain. The idiots now think the love of their life doesn’t even want to date them.
Homosexual Duos
Meanwhile, as the duos prepared to leave, thoughts clouded their minds. Confusion and emotions filled the air of the car with tense silence.
“I sincerely apologize. It seems we were caught in a trap by the perpetrator. The good news is it allowed us to catch him! I hope none of you got hit,” Mori’s voice cut off, and each car returned to an awkward silence.
Each individual stared out the window, avoiding eye contact with their partner. A million thoughts raced through their heads. The whole situation messed with their heads.
‘Why did it not affect him?’
Chuuya took a long inhale of his cigarette. Why should he care about Dazai? It’s not like he feels something for Chuuya after all these years, right?
‘Do I genuinely hate him? Does he genuinely hate me…?’
Tecchou tried to keep his heart rate in check, not wanting to give away the effect the situation had on him. Jouno was too busy trying to sort out his thoughts; he didn’t deal with feelings.
‘Am I really so unlikeable that even magic can’t make us click?’
Akutagawa stared out the window, refusing to glance at Atsushi. Atsushi felt embarrassed; not even magic could make them click.
‘Was this just a game for him? Have I been imagining signs?’
Fyodor fed the rat he and Nikolai found, masking his emotions well. He had to put up his ‘I could give zero fucks’ facade. Nikolai felt played; what could he expect from the Demon Fyodor, right?
‘Why am I so disappointed it didn’t work?’
Bram felt rejected. He wasn’t blind to his feelings for Kunikida, but perhaps the ability not working was an answer to his feelings. Kunikida busied himself with his schedule, adding tasks to avoid being alone with his thoughts and the disappointment that the ability didn’t work.
‘Am I really the last person she would date?’
Gin was always quiet, but now it felt heavy. Was Higuchi still in love with her brother Ryunosuke? Did Gin consider Higuchi to be the last person she would ever date?
Those questions ran through each individual’s mind, making the ride feel like an eternity.
Mafia Building
As each car arrived at the Mafia building, every individual had to force themselves to pretend nothing had happened. They acted as if the case hadn't just shattered their hearts. Each person stepped out of the car, deliberately avoiding eye contact with their partner, fearing they might see a look of disgust or pity in their eyes.
On the sidelines, Fukuzawa stood next to Ranpo and Mori, observing the scene unfold. "Are you sure this was the best plan?" Fukuzawa couldn't help but express doubt about the plan. After all, Mori had unique ways of trying to woo him, and he wasn't the best at romance either.
Ranpo simply nodded. "The Europe trip will push them to confess. All we have to do is send them off to do their own thing when the day comes," he affirmed.
Not that each duo had any idea of the plan, as they were too preoccupied with their sadness to care. To them, it felt like they had just been rejected (even though that wasn't the case).