Work Text:
Gatito (Keep calling me that)
At yet another hangout at Rita's apartment, it was sad, boring, and anxious. The huge crowd of strangers was stressing Judy's introverted ass, forcing her to shut herself away from all the noise, the awkward introductions, the uncontrolled consumption of all things high and drugs. So she preferred to be alone on the wide balcony, sipping gin and tonics and reading articles about braindancing.
Outside her little hideaway, on one side was a city of millions, hiding its flaws behind a facade of brightly colored signs on high-rises, and on the other side was an assortment of gang members looking to put aside the hostility on the streets and party to some really cool music, not the kind they had at Lizzies.
Judy didn't like those kind of parties.
She liked to spend her weekends alone fixing old appliances, editing materials, thinking long and hard about ideas for future virtuals, and sometimes watching TV shows. But this is in rare cases, when the head is completely puffed up from the excess of porn or it is covered with a universal feeling of worthlessness to hemself and her life.
It's been exactly a year since the relationship between her and Maiko Maeda, the unofficial boss of Clouds, broke up. Also an egotistical bitch with a boneless tongue and an overly inflated ego. It would seem that when you get out of an abusive relationship you should feel free, however, no one had canceled the need for a hug, supportive words or a pat on the head. That was something she couldn't expect from anyone but her grandmother, who now lived in Oregon.
As she parted ways with Maiko, Judy realized how much the rose-colored glasses had squeezed her brain, preventing her from access to oxygen and relevance. She should have listened to Evelyn and told her to go to hell a long time ago. But she was stubborn, willful, determined to give a chance to the sinking boat that was being dragged deeper and deeper to the bottom every day. And when there was not enough air for the next breath, when her lungs were almost completely filled with water, Judy finally found the strength to swim away while their boat was sucked into the whirlpool. There was nothing to fear and nothing to doubt.
She regretted nothing then. She arrived at Evelyn's late that night with a bottle of tequila and with a slight smile on her face, she told her the happy news. They talked a lot, drinking, smoking, savoring the long-awaited enlightenment.
Sometimes, of course, she wanted to have sex. Much more often - to fall asleep in someone's arms, feeling a soft stroking on the head, to hear warm words of support, about how smart, beautiful, kind, loved she was. And then my thoughts started to jumble. It became scary, restless, to imagine getting to know someone new, to open her thoughts, dreams, secrets, eventually her heart. At the same time, she wanted to and was prickly. After the abusive experience, it was impossible to trust anyone, and one-time connections were not appealing. Emotional attachment was required, rather than the usual satisfaction of physiological needs.
And yet, now she was not in a cozy apartment on Charter Street with a laptop on her lap, but in the Northside in the company of strange agitated people, alcohol and colored pills. Why? The answer lies on the surface - Rita, and her attempts to get Judy out of a succession of monotonous days in the chair behind the porno.
The time had passed eleven, the article was proving quite interesting with its tales of new developments in super-mega-cool braindance hoops. Judy was slowly stretching out each inhale of acrid smoke, holding the cigarette with the fingers of her left hand, when the balcony door swung open, letting a new visitor into the small, secluded space.
The apartment smelled of pot, alcohol, and stuffiness. How so many people hadn't suffocated was a mystery.
- "Hi, am I disturbing you?" - The girl who came out asked in a low, husky voice. "Interrupting," Judy thought, but nodded negatively, drifting back into the world of braindance. The last thing she wanted to do now was talk to anyone.
The stranger hummed softly, turning her gaze to the street, pulled a pack of cigarettes from her pocket, and lit a cigarette, exhaling a large puff of smoke in front of her. Judy looked up again, wanting to show her intention to be alone as soon as possible. In front of her stood a tall brunette with short hair, tattooed arms, pierced ears with chaotically dangling earrings, and numerous pieces of jewelry in the form of rings, bracelets, watches, and pendants. Her calmness was striking - all the others had long ago either gotten drunk or retreated into a hallucinogenic world-but she held steady, not even wobbling.
- "V," the stranger introduced herself, exhaling smoke through her nose, and held out her hand. Judy thought a handshake was old-fashioned, so she cast a contemptuous glance at the girl's palm. It didn't go unnoticed as V nodded to herself and moved away.
- "Judy," the voice seemed tired, sad.
- "Why are you here?" - V asked gently, politely holding out a pack of cigarettes.
Judy didn't usually smoke much, but now she wanted to smoke a whole pack and calm her nerves from such an unexpected intrusion.
- "I don't like company."
- "I figured that out. I'm asking about the reason that made you leave your apartment and find yourself surrounded by the city's not-so-nice people," she said. Really, why had she fallen for Rita's puppy dog eyes once again, refusing to spend almost her only day off lately in the midst of this chaos?
The question stumped her. Not because she didn't realize the deeper motive, but because the stranger read her like an open book, knowing her for only a minute. Was the phrase "I'm a recluse, I don't know what I'm doing here" tattooed on her forehead?
Judy comes closer, standing parallel, and takes a drag. V smells like tobacco and cherries, a little alcohol and calm.
- "Rita's trying to help me be more social, not sitting at work or at home all the time. I don't want to upset her," she sees the movement of someone else's lips with the corner of her eye, and the dimples that appear on her cheeks look beautiful.
- "Let me guess," V tosses the cigarette butt into the darkness of the street and turns, "She wants you to find someone. But it's a dead end to find someone at a party. It's more about blowing off steam and getting laid for one night.'
- 'And what type of person do you belong to?' - her gaze smears over her tanned skin, the scars near her mouth, her emerald eyes, and the Japanese characters above her eyebrow. Too pretty, too tall, too upright.
- 'To none," V replies without even thinking. Leaning against the railing, she turns her back to the city and throws her head back. Judy waits patiently while the pause hangs, taking a longer drag than usual, feeling the burningly tart bitterness in her throat. - 'I'm here so I don't have to be alone with shitty thoughts and a murdered mood."
She understands. Too understands, so she mentally puts a plus in a fictitious notebook under a name with only one letter in it.
- "Let's get out of here? I know a good place, and I promise to take you home as soon as you say," she puts her hands up, trying not to sound intrusive as Judy assesses the situation.
A slightly tipsy stranger offers to drive off to an obscure location to get away from everyone. She doesn't know V's backstory, doesn't know what gang member she's running into, doesn't know if it's possible to do this and not get mugged in a ditch somewhere. But somehow agrees and follows her out into the stuffy room.
A huge crowd of drunk people are bouncing around to intense music, shoving each other's shoulders, making her want to be outside as soon as possible. She tries to follow V, and near the exit she feels a tenacious arm around her waist.
- "Where are you going, doll?" - A strong odor of alcohol hits her nose. Rita stands in front of her, barely moving her tongue, but her grip is firm.
V intervenes as soon as she notices. She moves closer, gently removes the other's hand and smiles broadly. Drunk people are either cool or nothing.
- "We're out of cigarettes, we'll make it to the nearest store and come back."
Judy huddles closer to her, feeling protected, and mentally thanks her for her help.
- "Okay."
And they leave the chaos, leaving the noisy music, alcohol, and endless high-pitched conversations behind them.
V's car looks like a dream.
A matte black without any artwork or stickers. Its engine roars like a lion, alerting the whole neighborhood to his presence, and the speed becomes about a hundred after a minute. V's face is focused, hands gripping the steering wheel tightly as the neighborhoods of Night City whiz by outside the cabin windows, eventually being left somewhere behind. Judy sits in silence, hoping to herself that they won't crash around another corner.
- "Here we are," V announces, turning off the engine.
In front of them is a bridge to nowhere and a cliff. Behind them, dust and vast wasteland. Above is a clear, cloudless sky decorated with numerous white dots.
V sits down on one of the two chairs near a small table and gestures for Judy to join her. She begins to tell us about herself from the beginning.
Judy listens attentively, doesn't interrupt. How she'd befriended Jackie Welles during a bizarre order to steal a car from a parking garage. About running around the floors looking for Sandra Dorsett and killing the scarvs who kidnapped her and wanted to take out her implants along with her internal organs. About how Wakako Okada, a Westbrook fixer, directed them to eliminate the Arasaka corporations that had long been stirring under their feet. It was Anders Helman, the scientist who developed the famous relic. How through it she had gotten to know the Nomads, especially Panam Palmer. How together with Mitch, also an Aldecaldo nomad, they buried a Scorpion here. And many other things, including a rescued cat.
It was peaceful with V.
Listening to all the stories, watching the changes in her face, her gesticulations, and laughing with the jokes that popped through. It was the first time Judy didn't feel uncomfortable in the company of someone she barely knew. She excitedly shared her worries about loneliness, constant busyness, uncertainty about whether she should be where she was now. V didn't judge, didn't shake her head disappointedly. Her eyes read only understanding and a sincere regret rarely found in this dirty city.
- "Thank you for this," Judy said quietly, breaking the silence.
- "And you. I'm glad I went out on the balcony and spent time with you," V smiles softly.
From that moment on, they began to grow closer. They texted each day, starting with short "how are you" or "what are you up to" messages and ridiculous pictures of V's cat, moving on to longer calls in the evenings. Now Judy would come home from work, shower, cook a meal, while chatting with the girl about the previous day.
V was comfortable.
She asked about her mood, visited Lizzie's when she wasn't busy, brought fresh coffee and food when Judy mentioned in passing that she hadn't eaten anything today, invited her for a walk, taught her how to fight and ride a motorcycle, and always stood up for her if anyone tried to pry. Gradually it became harder to do without V's presence, without her evening voicemails, without pictures of Nibbles, without tremendous support, ridiculous jokes and affectionate gatito.
Today was going harder than the rest of the day. In the morning, Maiko came over to pick up her things and, out of habit, blew her mind. At work, Susie had yelled a few times, making her blood boil. Judy was ready to burst.
- "Fuck! Fuck off already, I'll finish this now," she leaned back in her chair tiredly, closing her eyes.
The door creaked open, and she felt like throwing out whoever had ventured in. But turning her head, her gaze locked onto the painfully familiar dragon tattoo on her left forearm and emerald eyes.
V looked like a lifeline thrown by fate itself at such a tense moment. Judy rushed to her, snuggling closer and nuzzling her neck with her nose, feeling warm arms around her waist and heavy breathing on the top of her head. Calm enveloped her head, and the beating of another's heart echoed soothingly in her ears.
- "It's so good to see you," Judy whispered, running her palms down her broad back.
V never pulled away at times like this. She pressed her arms tighter around her, hugging her as needed. And something fragile inside cracked, broke, warmed.
- "I can feel it when you need it."
And Judy was ready to cry, whether from helplessness or from the gentle voice and the soft stroking of her head.
They hadn't seen each other for the past week, limiting themselves to texts and calls while V took care of business out of town. How much she missed her was beyond words.
- "Shit day," Judy exhaled, setting herself up for a caress, and V smiled, playing with her hair, pulling her closer.
- "Pack up."
And Judy would love to leave this place, but she's surrounded by responsibilities and Susie's watchful eye.
- "Not an option at all." A pang of sadness fills her chest.
- "Pack up, and I'll talk to your boss," V says confidently, reluctantly moving away.
Judy wants to laugh - Susie will never let her leave early. Her word is non-negotiable, it's an unspoken law. But when V returns with a smug look on her face and asks why she isn't ready to go yet, her thoughts begin to muddle.
Was there something V couldn't decide? Hardly.
They're going to some private Valentino party under V's assurances that it won't be like Rita's. And Judy is willing to believe anything if she says it. A dark-haired, confident girl who cares, affectionately calling her "kitten" in Spanish, which makes goosebumps run down her body and a slight blush cover her cheeks.
V is much more comfortable with her than anyone else.
- "¡Por fin han llegado! Estamos muy contentos de verte," Jackie wraps them in a hug, squeezing them to the point of bone crunching as always, and rubs V's cheek happily.
Judy shuffles awkwardly from foot to foot - the Valentinos are overly kind, and constantly say hello if they see her on the street. After V introduced Judy to them, they promised protection and unofficially welcomed her into the family when she first spoke Spanish.
- "Hola hombre grande," V replies, and together they all walk inside the gated parking lot.
And the evening passes quietly.
V stays close the whole time, wondering if she's comfortable, promising to take her home right away if she needs to. Judy looks into those beautiful eyes, smiles relaxedly, and wants to say a lot of things, but doesn't dare. Her heart is beating too hard and her thoughts are jumbled to form one coherent sentence without sounding like an awkward teenager. They're fine as they are, she guess.
But things get a lot more complicated when Judy accidentally overhears V talking to Jackie. She huddles against the wall, trying not to breathe.
- "You never told her?"
- "No," she hears the flick of a lighter and a deep sigh."
- "What are you waiting for?" - Jackie shakes her head in incomprehension.
- "I'm afraid to cross the line, you know? If I tell her everything, there's a chance of losing our friendship. I don't want to lose it, so I'll enjoy what I have."
- "Mierda", - and Judy absolutely agrees.
The party lasts a few more hours, V talks to Gustavo and Padre, throwing glances at Judy, who is standing next to Caesar's wife. A pleasant warmth spreads in her chest as dark brown eyes find hers and a smile spreads across her face.
A wolf in love is no longer a predator.
The car pulls onto an empty road, the engine roaring loudly. Judy squirms in her seat, pondering her next steps. Her heartbeat quickens at the mere thought of V, concentrating on the steering wheel with one hand, shaking ashes out the open window with the other.
V walks her back to the apartment to make sure Judy made it home safely. She hugs goodbye, says goodnight, and turns toward the stairs when she's grabbed by the arm.
- "What are you doing?" - There's surprise on her face, her eyebrows furrow, and a puppy-dog-like stare across Judy's face.
Judy steps toward her until she's right next to her, wraps her arms around her neck, and stares intently, expectantly.
- "Stay with me."
And something about this request is tense, frightening, which makes V shrink inwardly. She literally doesn't know what to do, because it's hard to be around her, and it's harder to control herself. It's much easier to kill an entire squad of Arasaka than to be alone with the girl you're in love with. Who's standing unacceptably close right now.
- "I have to get up early tomorrow," V lies, trying to look as serious as possible, but Judy doesn't believe a word of it.
She kisses softly - gently touching the other's lips with her own, probing the ground.
And she melts when V responds just as gently, sensually, wrapping his palms around her slim waist to pull her even closer. Judy's legs become absorbent cotton, the butterflies long buried under the ash come alive in her stomach, twisting her insides into a knot, and her heart is about to pierce her sternum in a furious beat.
V isn't just comfortable and calm, she's perfect. Just the way Judy needs it.
The tenderness is replaced by a clear desire for more, the kisses turn hungry - both are trying to hold back, but it's not working out well, especially when V looks at a half-naked Judy like that.
The morning starts at ten. Outside the window, passing cars rumble by, transport avi fly, and invariably Stan is on the news broadcasting about the dead bodies in Pacifica. Judy rubs her eyes. Images of last night flash by like a formula one car, causing a slight blush to form on her cheeks. It was definitely the best night.
A tinkle comes from the kitchen and the pleasant smell of freshly brewed coffee and something else touches her nose. She slips a loose t-shirt over her naked body and peeks out quietly. V stands with his back to her and plates the food, listening to the radio host's measured voice. Her hair is disheveled, her neck is decorated with red hickeys, and there are nail scratches on her back, a thank-you for three orgasms in a row. Judy smiles awkwardly, biting her finger, and comes closer, burying her nose between shoulder blades.
- "Good morning, gatito," V whispers, turning around and hugging back.
The affectionate nickname makes her heart ache, and something warm settles in her chest.
- "Morning," she kisses her cheek, snuggling closer, inhaling deeply of the cherry perfume. - "My heart would break if you ever called me by my name instead of kitten."
V laughs gleefully, promising never to call her by her first name, kisses the tip of her nose, and sets breakfast on the table.
Judy seems to realize now how right it was to leave on that balcony and agree to go with her to an unknown place.
She was robbed after all, brazenly taking her heart, but she gained so much more than that