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You didn’t have a name for what you were. An amalgamation of pure elemental energy in the form of a round and bouncy thing, hold together by a smooth membrane. Humain called you a “slime” , and you guessed it worked good enough.
What you did know though, is that you were the prettiest slime to ever roam teyvat.
You weren’t like the other hydro slime. You were of medium size but colored with a tinge of purple, particles of dust like that shimmered in the light like glitter.
Your slime mommy (the one you split out of) had perhaps felt jealous of your beauty, but you had managed to escape her before it could reabsorb you and take it back for herself. You were now wandering around, your specialness intact.
Living your life carefree in Mondstad plaines, your path eventually crossed that of somebody you would remember all your slime-life.
He was resting under a tree, his sword carelessly cast aside and his unique eye staring into space. You recoil seeing a vision at his hips. You actually never met one of those special humans that could wield elemental energy, but you weren't ignorant. One could say you were the most intelligent slime to ever be. you knew that you should keep your distance. But then, he spotted you.
His long, deep blue hair shifted in the wind, and a one-eyed gaze bore into you. You felt entranced.
He gave you a smile as he crouched down.
“-Hello there?” he says before “pspspspspspsps”’ing your way, like getting the attention of a cat.
You took note that he hadn’t made any movement toward his weapon.
Now that he was facing you, you could see him better. But what a mistake that was. His beauty got the mucus knocked out of you. Sharp feature, a sly smile making your viscous heart flutter.
The lymph rushed to your cheeks as you diverted your gaze to his gloved hand beckoning you in. A spilt moment, and you consider taking it. But no. Reason took over in that fateful moment. You.. didn’t know this man. You didn’t know what his intentions with you were. You could afford to indulge in this.
You hopped into a bush and didn’t look back.
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The alchemist didn’t bother paying attention to the man slipping in his tent.
“-How can i help you Kaeya?”
“- I found something interesting and i thought it would interest you as well. Care to listen?”
Albedo put down his Erlenmeyer, now all ears.
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You woke up from the nap you usually took at this small pond. The one with the gigantic statue of an archon in the middle of it. You scoff at it. It was funny seeing humans worship false idols. Like every slime, you believe in one true god slime and his one true slime son that died for all slime sin, and then gloriously resurrected, Je-slime.
But in this afternoon, you found yourself wishing upon the wind to see a spark of dark blue hair in the bushes. Maybe the glint of a sword harmlessly left behind. A tan hand reaching out to you.
That was enough to make the rest of your day painted with the ache of longing.
You were absorbing an unfortunate bird near a cliff at the border with the Yellow Land. The spoil of your hunt is not enough to fill the uncharacteristic hole in your slime–heart (or whatever counted as a heart. You weren't able to go to Slime-school so you didn't know slime anatomy well). The echo of a commotion has been brought up by the terrains to you, beckoning you to come closer to the edge. Down there, figures were locked in battle.
You were about to go back to your activities but then. Navy Blue. Spark of a sword raised.
In an instant, you knew. The one you had been wanting all this time. In danger nonetheless.
Letting go of your fear, You jump.
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He hadn’t foreseen this when leaving his home today. He felt less in control than he ever had been in that wretched life of his.
(Except for that time that was burned into his memory)
Again and again, his poor choices lead him to catastrophic consequences. Be it leaving his house drunk or not coming back to it when the sun slowly crept down. Now injured and overwhelmed by enemies, with the burning brightness of the pyro slime snuffing out his cryo attacks, His mind was starting to consider the worst.
(Do you feel deja vu?)
He raised his sword again, the hilt of it carving into his palm, in a defensive position, ignoring the throbbing of his right leg. He won't die tonight. It would be too easy. Reading again for the assault of the slimes, he saw too late the flash of purple hurdling towards him.
It hit him in the head, throwing him off balance as the pyro slime pounced. It landed where he had been secondes before. And there was something wet and slightly rubbery on his face as he scrambled to get back up. The weight finally left him and he now could see the situation more clearly. Surprised sprouted on his face when he recognized you. That twilight-colored slime he found so pretty to look at was standing in front of him… protectively? No that couldnt be.
But you were. You absolutely were. You couldn't bear to see him hurt even more. By those heretics pyro slime, nonetheless. They look at you with intrigue. Be it because of your coloration, or your obvious rebellion against slime kind by protecting a human. It didn't matter much. You were maybe made the same way, but they weren't your kin. They worshipped the slime god on the seventh day of the week, instead of the sixth’s day. Unforgivable.
You clearly showed your intentions to stand your ground, your white eyes burning with determination. The heat coming of the others was nearly unbearable but you would not yield, for you knew you were fighting for a cause. You would soon find that it was love.
They didn't think you were worth it. One by one, they turned and hopped away, hopefully bringing their unfaithful self back to the hell they came from. The tension leaving your body left you sagging. Until a cold hand comes to lightly touch your membrane, making you flinch.
You rotate to face him in a noise of rumbling liquid.
“-Thank you he mouthed, incredulously. His fingers didn't linger, as if afraid you’d turn around and attack him, but you chased his hand and pressed your gelatinous body to his skin. It's his turn to flinch, feeling the damp texture against his palm.
Now that he got a good look at you, he couldn't help but be mesmerized by the constellations he could retrace in your body. It felt like the sky of a place he had longed for. A place he could no longer go back to.
“-Do you understand me? He asks, and you try to answer the way you know how.”
“-Glou glou.”
He’s even more surprised now, but a laugh is slowly bubbling up on his face.
“-I see. he is going to love you.”
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The next day came by in a blur. You were reticent to follow him at first, worried that you had perhaps bitten more than you could chew, but you had soon discovered that you weren't immune to his charms and coercion.
He led you further than you ever would have gone on your own, that fact cementing the impression of diving into unknown territory. Up a huge mountain of ice. You couldn't handle the cold that well, being a hydro slime, but he always found ways to warm you up and stop your body from freezing. Be it by putting you next to a fire or feeding you this particular “gulash” dish that was so tasty it hurt. It was your favorite way to resist the cold. But for a totally different reason than the obvious.
The way he was feeding it to you was by tilting the bowl at your height and letting you scoop it up by yourself. If you were lucky, you would get the chance to feel his hands on your membrane. That was all you asked for at that moment.
He also revealed himself as a surprisingly caring individual, always keeping an eye on you, with his devilish smile that made your cytoplasm shiver under the surface.
Soon you reached your destination: A little camp in a cave, well-lit and finally warm.
You address a silent prayer to your slime-god and trudge along with your companion. A man peeks his head out of a tent and you stop, unsure. He has white hair and fair skin, shorter than the dark-haired man you’ve been following. Doubt grip at you, had it been a mistake coming here?
“-So is that the slime you talk to me about Its coloration is certainly intriguing ”
“-Told you so. He grins and turns around to motion you to come closer, his voice becoming softer. “Don't be shy, he’s a friend.”
Albedo, as you come to know him, was seemingly a type of recluse genius, more worried about his experiment than having a social life. His face didn't seem to be able to emote much and he didn't really talk. Thankfully, Kaeya was here to fill the silence with useless chatter, the sound of his voice enough to soothe you when the alchemist began to examine you. You didn't understand the complex vocabulary he employed to describe your unique constitution but it seemed to be shortened to “pretty and unique” so you were satisfied with it.
At the end of the day, you gathered around the campfire, eating meat skewers, fitting on kaeya’s laps as if it was your rightful place. You were feeling so cozy here, that you nearly forgot to pray. You jump in realisation and Kaeya peers down at you.
“-What’s wrong friend?”
You jump down, searching for a sheet of snow thick enough before tracing a cross in it.
“- Albedo, Kaeya asked, do you know what it’s doing.”
“-No i don't, let me grab my notebook.”.
They don't know about god, You think, feeling sad at that idea. They wouldn’t be saved when the slime-rapture comes. Adding to that the fact they were human. But if they converted, surely Je-slime would accept them?
“-Would that be a kind of mating ritual? Albedo proposes, scribbling on his notebook.”
Offended by his words, you stop.
“-Glou glou! You shout.”
“-What, your god? You have a god? He says and you both lock eyes, in disbelief. He could understand what you where saying.
That revelation came with a whole new type of relationship with the alchemist. You suddenly didn’t mind staying here, preaching to him as he wrote down everything. You even manage to make him pray with you once or twice.
But the real highlight of your life was when Kaeya visited you. The touches became more and more frequent and deliciously casual. He would pet your head and pinch your membrane when he would talk about his adventures as the cavalry captain, omitting the countless slimes he certainly murdered. (Didn’t matter, all heretics). It made you reconsider sometimes if you were more than a stress toy for him but you didn't care, as you fell more and more in love. Every bit of attention you could gather was worth it. It culminated one night when he had a curious request to you.
“-You need a name, slime chan.”
Did you? Did it really matter? He didn’t need a name to call you, a look, a movement of his hand and you would be at his feet. He lifted you up at arm's length from the table you rested on, so you could see his pretty face from above.
“-What do you think about… Y/n ?”
It seemed he had thought of it already. You bounce the name in your head a few time, getting a feel for it. It felt right somehow. Maybe because it was a present from the person most dearest to your heart.
“-Glou…” You respond.
His smile is everything in this moment, brighter than the sun itself.
“-Im glad you like it, Y/n.”
Oh. It did feel different when he was the one saying it.
“-This may be weird to say, but I like you a lot, Y/N he whispered so low you thought you hallucinated it.”
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Days go by like in a dream.
You manage to teach Albedo some more stories or your faith, and it was peaceful in the camp, to the beat of prayers and chants against the choir of the whirling winds . You hoped they would reach the person they were meant to protect. All of them were for him, for his salvation, for the chance to see his smile for another blessed day. He may not be made in the slime-gods image, but he was definitely made for you.
You didn't stray far in the mountains. If you did, you may miss one off Kaeya’s important visit and you would not forgive yourself if that happened. To pass your time, you were talking to Albedo, it was nice to hear someone else's perspective on some of the tales. About the story of the Hilichurl names David and the Mitachurl Goliath, for example, he seemed to like this one and you felt so proud of introducing him to it.
One day strangely similar to the first time you were brought up those snowy slopes, you were again on Kaeya’s lap when he put down his plate and looked at you. His single eyes practically beaming at you with a tenderness you had recently discovered made you want to spill on the ground.
“-Y/N, he says, his lips parting in a slight smile only he got the secret to. I have a surprise for you. “
He put you down and went inside. When he came back it was with a book. When you saw the cover, your slime heart swelled. There was a cross on it. You didn't understand at first, but he sat down and let you have a look at it. It was written in your language, and reading the first words, you could not believe your eyes.
You had told them some time ago to Albedo, the first time he picked out his notebook to write down with intent. There was the very first story of your faith. He had made you your very own Slible.
“- As a thanks for saving me that time. Who knows, maybe it was really your god that put you on my way, Y/N. “
If your gelatinous eyes could, you would’ve cried. You jumped in his arms, his hands encompassing your entire being in an embrace you wished lasted forever. He laughed and ran the pads of his fingers on your membrane, dragging it slightly.
“-You need to thank Albedo too, it was my idea but he was the one to transcribe it. I can't understand you, but you can understand me. Isn't it unfair?”
It was. But in your opinion, you could understand each other just fine. And the leather-bound book so delicately decorated was proof of that. There was this link of divine origin between your two souls, unbreakable and eternal. You were sure of it.
Dinner done, Kaeya decided to stay tonight. Saying you were excited was an understatement. You read the book together, huddled in the little tent while Albedo worked outside. He was fascinated by the stories. Only late into the night did he discarded the heavy leather he wore and the fur to lay down next to you in the camp bed. You blushed to see him so undressed, with only a shirt and pants, and unholy thoughts started to bubble at the surface of your mind. But you knew that those kinds of things needed to wait until marriage.
Marriage.
It never occurred to you until then, but looking at his face when he was sleeping, peaceful like you never seen him before, you thought you didn't mind waking up to this sight every day.
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A cold morning only Dragonspine had the secret to. He left the warm bed, his chest a bit damp from hugging the gelatinous little thing he was so fond of. They were sleeping soundly, their entire body moving up and down to the beat of their breathing. He didn't realize you had become such an important part of his life until he couldn't fall asleep once, back in his cold and empty house in Mondstat. His mind kept coming back to a camp battered by the winds and a warm gelatinous presence near. His fingers closed on empty air where he thought he would find the cool texture of your membrane, and he could not fathom the sense of longing he felt in those moments. Truth be told, he missed you whenever you were not there, and it puzzled him.
He came out of the tent, finding Albedo already hard at work. What he was doing seemed too complicated for this early of an hour.
“- Hey, he said in a yawn. Thank you for that gift, Y/N really liked it. Ill treat you to a drink one day whenever you want.”
“-No problem. The other said, observing the content a beaker in the dim light of the lamp. “The case of you to just fascinates me, i selfishly wanted to see where it would go.”
Kaeya sat down, still drowsy from sleep.
“-Case, what case…”
“- You really like that thing don't you.”
“- Thing? They got a name.”
“-See, exactly what I'm talking about. As I am not yet well versed in the matters of love, studying your relationship has been interesting for my personal research. I apologies for not informing you of my intents.”
The cavalry captain stayed silent for a moment, realization silently settling in his mind.
“-Love, so that's what it is.”
Albedo made a sound akin to a chuckle.
“-Not even denying it are we, said the alchemist. I have to ask, how far do you intend to go with this.”
“- I don't know yet. He answered, gaze fixed on the blurry horizon outside. “As far as i can probably.”
He didn't know if what he was feeling was normal. Something had to be wrong with him. But years of feeling inadequate made his skin tougher than most. He had spent the last decade so alone, the thought of another person in his life never occurred to him. But now that he had tasted it. He could not get enough. You were special, the only one his heart beat for. The fact you were not of the same species didn't seem to deter the universe from weaving your fates together. For once in his life he had something to look forward to.
He drank his wine, with resolve.
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In the blink of an eye, years had passed. You had become a big slime, nearly reaching to his hips now. And he had worked hard to learn your language, staying up late to study the dictionary Albedo had created for him. He still had an accent, but it made every word spoken in your language so much more charming. Whenever you appeared, the slight veil of sadness hanging around him seemed to lift.
Late-night talk were the best time. You bonded over your traumas. You told him about your mother trying to get your specialness back, and he told you about why he wore an eye patch, of his brother, of his family from the land of the wind, and the other one that had abandoned him to fend for himself in an unfamiliar land. You came to resent them all for dimming his smile. When everything became too much, you would console him and he would do the same back to you. Life became so much more vibrant with your love next to you.
One day, you had stepped down from the mountain you now knew as Dragonspine. You were basking in the pure water, near the statue where you had met for the first time. The sun was shining hot overhead, the atmosphere was still cool due to the fair breez. He had removed his boots and his feet were dangling above the water.
“-Y/N, can you come for a minute, please? He called you, in his hard-earned slimglish. “
You came up to him, the way he was looking at you made it seem important. He stood up, the wind lifting his indigo hair up with grace.
“- When you found me in this place for the first time, i never would’ve expected what would happen. The time I spent with you, and i can say that with my full chest, has been the best in my entire life.”
He marks a pause and then… put a knee to the ground. Your heart skips a beat, then two.
He pulls out a black box and opens it, revealing a ring inside, ornated with a little cross.
“-Y/N.” He speaks like your name meat so much more that it did. and time slow to a halt. Would you marry me?”
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The Mondstad Cathedrale was bigger than you expected, looking at it from afar. Today, you see the inside, beautifully decorated for the most important day of your life. The pews were decorated with flowers, the guests sitting in them in their best attire for the occasion. The ceremony was small, as per the wishes of the groom. Some faces you had met when preparing the ceremony. Some of the knights and Kaeya's colleagues at the Favonius headquarters, and some teenagers he seemed fond off. You had seen one of them once, running with the wolves of Wolvendom. He was odd but nice enough.
You had kept your guest list short too, pondering wherever to invite your mother or not. But seeing as she was seething in her seat, her membrane trembling of jealousy, you thought you had made the right choice. Some off your slime friends were at first opposed to this, but seeing you bursting with joy at the prospect, they eventually turned supportive, and your were so happy to see them all here for the occasion.
You were looking at each other tenderly. The flower veil barbara had made for you was the most beautiful thing you had ever seen, and complimented your violet tint so well you didnt want to take it off ever. Kaeya was stunning in his tuxedo, but thats was a given. He would be stunning even in rags. In this instant he looked like a prince.
Amber was sobbing hard in the audience, clearing her nose loudly from emotion, Eula next to her was declaring vengeance to the tissue manufacturer, as usual , you've come to find out. Albedo was there too, his inexpressive face not needed to understand that he shared the joy of the moment. You saw him make a thumb up at Kaeya, your fiancee responding in kind. The ever elusive Traveler had also showed up, seemingly unbothered by the crying girl next to them. You remembered the face they had made the first time Kaeya presented you to them.
“-As long as you are happy. They had said. “
And you were both, Barbara now uttering the words that would make you one before god.
“-“Kaeya, do you take Y/N to be your Spouse? Do you promise to be faithful to them in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, to love them and to honor them all the days of your life?”
“I do, he said, no sign of wavering in his voice.
The deaconess turns to you.
“- Y/N, glou glou glou Kaeya glou glou glouglouglouglouglou? glouglouglouglouglouglouglouglouglouglouglouglouglouglouglouglouglouglouglouglouglouglouglouglouglouglouglouglouglouglouglouglouglouglouglouglouglouglouglouglouglouglouglouglouglouglouglouglouglouglouglouglouvglouglouglouglouglouglouglouglouglou?
“- Glou. You answer. “
“-You may now kiss your spouse. She finally says.”
He stoops down. Its your first kiss, as wanted by tradition, and you reveled in the fact it was to seal both of your lives. That it meant something so strong. His lips looked so softs, day and night you had though about them and now they were yours. So close, just a little bit closer and….
“-Kaeya, what the fuck is this.”
The audience turned in unisson, humains and slimes alike, choked. A voice had interrupted this crucial moment and your heart sank. A red head was walking down the aisle. Who had let him in? His face was not familiar but from the way Kaeya bristled at his appearance, you had the faintest idea of who that could be.
“-Come on Diluc seriously. Chimed in the traveler.”
“-Don't tell me you are okay with this, he shouts in disbelief. You lots cant be serious.”
“- I don't see what the problem might be, said Lisa, standing up, hand on her hips. Jean was tugging on her skirt to make her sit down but she just ignored her. “Come on, read the room.”
“- Have you lost your mind?” He started shouting at his brother.”This is a slime! Kaeya you are marrying a goddamned slime!”
He points an accusatory finger to you and Kaeya steps forward protectively. Goddamned? How could he speak with such foul language? You started to feel tears well up inside your Slimy eyes.
“- Shut up they're Happy! Cried out Amber.”
“-I don't see the issue.” said the Traveler. ” Or maybe you don't like slimes Diluc?”
Diluc looked at the Traveler, face painted in utter choc.
“-Why are you asking me that you of all people, of course, i dont, they're monsters!”
A wave of collective shock wracks the left side of the church, your slime friends not taking the insults well at all. You nudge at Kaeya. Please, someone, make him leave.
“-Diluc, stop. He says, his voice now shaking.
“-I have a lot of reproach to say to you. But i didn't know that being a fucking racist would be one of them. You ruined my life once. He spat,
His hand came to rest on his eye patch, and the only thing you wanted to do at this point is wrap him in a tight embrace and kiss his sorrows away.
“-And now you come on the happiest day of my life to ruin it.” His other hand is shaking, and you press your gelatinous body to him. His fingers steadied once they found the familiar comfort of your texture. “Know that until now, i still considered you as my brother, but im done with you Diluc, i have found people who actually value me for who I am. I have found…Love.”
“-Kaeya, i don't know what type of wine you’ve been drinking,-what you’ve been all drinking apparently- but this cannot go on! I object to this this is insane!”
He looks at you with so much reverence in his eyes. Then turn back to the intruder with a burning resolve.
“-Goodbye Diluc,you can go now, your word will never burn more than the tip of your claymore.”
And the red head looks like he got shot point blank,right there by Kaeya himself.
There he stood, crystallized on the spot like a grotesque statue depicting the pure visage of astonishment. Finally, some guards decide to do their jobs, snatching Diluc and dragging him out of the church with little resistance. His staring face disappeared behind the heavy doors and Barbara cleared her throat.
“- Now that this has been dealt with, let's continue were we left off. “
Kaeya kneeled to your height and took your face in his hands.
“-I repeat, you may now kiss your spouse.”
He bends down, you jump up to meet him, and you share the first kiss of your married life.
EPILOGUE
Archive of the SteamBird Journal- Issue 123 12/03/XXXX
Grouping of testimonies from the first-ever Marriage between humans and Slime.
“This event is in no doubt an important step for the development of human-slime partnership in Mondstad. Our primary goal is to make the city a haven of liberty and acceptance of all people and to make decisions based on those values. And we are happy to see the results of our collective efforts. Congratulations to the newlywed!”
Jean Gunnhildr- Acting Grand Master of the Knight of Favonius.
“Not the weirdest thing we’ve seen. “
The Traveler and Paimon-Local heroes
“- I don't know what you want me to say, except that I take great pride in being the one that put those two together.”
Albedo-Chief Alchemist of the KOF
“Razor think slime really pretty! Razor like slime!”
Razor-Razor
“ *Intense sobbing * This is…*Sound of tissues and a nose getting blown * …this is so romantic…. *More intense sobbing *”
Amber - Outrider of the KOF
“-Wait, this is recording? Kaeya you are making a grave mistake, im going to get you out of there, that thing must have put a mind control spell on you. You need to listen to me i don't know whats going on, maybe its a conspiracy, maybe the slimes put something in the water!! Yeah, that's why everyone is acting strange! And Albedo is in on it! You need to listen Kaeya, KAEY- “ (Recording stopped for the safety of the journalistic crew)”
Diluc Raginvindr- ̶L̶o̶c̶a̶l̶ ̶C̶o̶m̶p̶l̶o̶t̶i̶s̶t̶ Wine industry tycoon
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You'll be surprised, visiting Mondstad, seeing an unconventional family making purchases at the market. The man walking side by side with his quite gelatinous spouse and three little blobs diligently following their parents on the paved streets. At first, citizen reactions were mixed, but the couple had been living there for so long since that it just became a part of the landscape no one batted an eye at. They were always seen together and integrated well into the life of the city.
And everybody with eyes could tell that even through their differences, between them, true love was at work.
THE END