Chapter Text
~.~
[You have experienced death.]
[You have achieved the impossible.]
[Your existing abilities will be pasfURgh26nus4]
[ERROR]
[ERROR]
[There has been an error in the physical reconstruction process.]
[Due to E78nbRJxeQ, your body will require 88Xs9or hours to reconstruct.]
[Your soul is being routed into the nearest viable temporary vessel. Please standby.]
[Reminder: If the vessel is damaged, your soul will be unable to transfer out.]
Lee Geon had a certain impression of receiving these messages, but he had been in no state to properly process any of them — or the fact that he was receiving some kind of notifications to begin with. Even he had his limits, and he had doggedly pushed himself far past them long ago. And, when he finally crushed the Tower Administrator under his foot, he couldn’t resist thinking that, maybe, it would be okay to rest just for a little while...
His mind had blurred, failing to acknowledge the strange things that might have flashed in front of him in the darkness of unconsciousness.
When he came to, he was looking up at a clear blue sky.
How long had it been? What a sight. To think he’d finally be able to see the sky again...
“AAAAAAH! RUN!”
...Someone was screaming, ruining Lee Geon’s scenic mood.
‘Who the hell is making that racket?! Line up to get beaten, assholes!’ he roared, springing up.
Immediately, he realized that something was very, very wrong.
His entire body felt off, too light and springy, like he was about to float away. He also felt like he could move both arms, at least one of which should have been long gone. But when he held them up to take a look, what he saw was....... two little cloth paws, clearly belonging to a stuffed animal.
Lee Geon instinctively tried to flex his hands, and the little paws curled, making “fists.”
What the fuck, he thought.
What the actual fuck.
Which fucker put his soul into a stuffed animal? He was going to kill them!
“NO! STAY AWAY!!”
...But before that, he’d start with the idiots that were still screaming somewhere nearby.
Pushing aside small considerations like how he’d escaped after defeating the Tower Administrator, why he was in a stuffed animal, or where he might have ended up, Lee Geon let himself indulge in some simple-minded bloodlust and spun around in search of a target.
Everything looked strange from his new perspective so low to the ground and so much smaller than he should have been, but he recognized easily that he was in the middle of an abandoned city. A wide, cracked road stretched out to either side, littered with both rubble and the debris of a place hastily vacated by its former population. The stuffed animal he was inside of had probably also been left behind. Overhead, damaged buildings towered on every side.
The screaming, along with the growling of what had to be several calamities, was coming from... that direction.
Even the smallest amount of magical energy sent the light body of a stuffed animal soaring through the air, far further but also with far less control than Lee Geon had intended. The balance of his new form was completely off too, and before he knew it, he ended up spinning head over heels in the middle of his long leap.
‘Oof!’
With a truly mortifying squeak from somewhere in the stuffed animal body, he crashed against the pavement and slid a small ways forward.
Thankfully, no one saw that. No one heard that.
Pretending that hadn’t happened, Lee Geon jumped to his feet again. It was fine, he’d always been quick on the uptake. The next dash went better, and even though he still ended up tipping over mid-jump, he still managed to regain control and land properly. Each jump that followed went even smoother, and it wasn’t long before he handsomely landed atop a pile of rubble that gave him a clear view of the... battlefield.
It was embarrassing to call it that.
Although most of the ruins were obviously long since abandoned, this place looked to have been destroyed just recently. Something had made a giant crater in the middle of what had once been a major highway, and fresh, unweathered rubble covered the surrounding area. Among the overturned concrete and what seemed to be large chunks of stone that were completely out of place, a pack of slightly large wolf-like calamities was circling their prey.
The hellhounds below had managed to corner a pair of humans — civilians, judging by their clothing, though one of them had the faint trace of a divine aura for some reason. In any case, the dogs were doing a rather poor job of finishing off their catch, as the two humans continually managed to just barely slip under their attacks and scramble away. Naturally, they didn’t stop sniveling and screaming the entire time.
‘Pathetic,’ Lee Geon passed down a harsh judgment on both sides.
It was so pathetic that he almost lost all will to involve himself. Weren’t these mutts completely below his notice? They were barely more than wild animals. (This was only Lee Geon’s perspective; everyone else had always treated them as a grave threat.)
Deep in thought, Lee Geon stroked his... snout...? His plushy little face...
‘Urgh.’
Right, there was that. There was that...
Okay, motivation regained.
‘Line up and get beaten, you punks!!’ Lee Geon roared — though given the utter lack of reaction from both the calamities and the humans, it was likely that his mental voice did not transmit to others. He didn’t have any kind of Telepathy skill, after all.
However, they certainly noticed when a slightly ragged teddy bear rocketed directly into the snout of the nearest hellhound. (There was a squeak, thankfully drowned out by the other noises.) The calamity flinched, letting out a strange sound of befuddled shock as its head twisted to one side from the force of the collision.
...Too bad that was all it did.
As he was sent cartwheeling off at an angle due to the recoil of his own attack, Lee Geon calmly analyzed the situation and acknowledged his mistake. He’d calculated his strike based on his real body, which was a lot heavier and also much less squishy. No matter the power behind it, a plush toy was still a soft and light thing. Getting hit by one with that much speed and force might knock out a human, but a calamity obviously wouldn’t care much.
Having reflected on himself within the fraction of a second spent in the air, Lee Geon flipped over smoothly and made a very cool three point landing on a piece of rubble. (There was a quiet little squeak from the impact.) He definitely didn’t feel embarrassed. At all.
‘...Round two!’ he roared and launched himself forward again.
This time, he made sure to release a skill at the moment of impact, instead of just relying on physical strength. If nothing else, his mana was not only still present but overflowing, and the burst of green light from the skill was nearly blinding. Even before he could see the result, Lee Geon could tell that the hellhound calamity had been wiped out.
“What?! What is that?” one of the human schmucks squawked in the background.
“It... it looks like a teddy bear,” the other replied in a shell-shocked tone.
“Are you saying a teddy bear defeated an orange rank calamity?!”
Because that calamity was gone. Half of its body, including its head, had been completely disintegrated, and the rest collapsed with a dull thump. Landing just past it (squeak), Lee Geon shot a hunter’s look toward the other hellhounds. If his stuffed animal face had been capable of it, he would have smirked toothily. As it was, his menacing aura had to convey the impression for him.
Too bad the hellhounds were too stupid to read auras. Baring their fangs, they leaped at this new enemy.
“I think it’s evil!”
“B-b-but it saved us, right....? Right?”
“Maybe it’s possessed by the vengeful spirits of the Tower’s victims!!”
What the hell were those two morons going on about? He’d deal with them next.
After only a couple minutes had passed, Lee Geon dusted off his little cloth paws with a feeling of satisfaction, surrounded by the ravaged corpses of the hellhound pack. He still had it, even in this form.
Now with that out of the way and feeling much more comfortable, he turned his attention to the two humans who had squeezed themselves into a corner between pieces of rubble, clutching at each other. They both looked ordinary, and it seemed like there was nothing special about the older man, but just as Lee Geon had quickly noticed before, the kid had a faint trace of divine energy around him. An artifact? Was that why these two idiots thought it would be okay to come here?
Because, based on what he’d overheard them screaming, Lee Geon could vaguely guess where this was. They’d mentioned the Tower. And looking at those pieces of rubble that didn’t match the surrounding city at all...
This was probably where the Demon Tower had appeared. And now, it was gone.
He’d escaped... but lost his body in the process.
...........Fuck!
He was mad just thinking about it again!
“A-Aaaaah.....!”
Huh?
The two idiots had suddenly let out a weak little scream of terror, staring at Lee Geon. That was fine, he got that reaction a lot, but... it wasn’t like they could hear him. And it wasn’t like he looked particularly intimidating at the moment...
Come to think of it, this was a beautiful sunny day. He’d enjoyed the sight of the blue sky earlier. So how come everything was in shadow now?
Slowly, Lee Geon turned and looked behind him.
Indeed, it was like he expected. A larger version of the hellhounds he’d demolished was towering over him, blotting out the sun. Thick saliva dripped from between its sharp fangs, and an ominous red light gathered deep in its throat. With a wild roar, it unleashed a powerful blast at Lee Geon.
He could have tried to dodge, even at that range, but there were also the two morons behind him to consider. The easiest option was to use his own mana to divide and deflect the attack.
Actually, it was easier than he’d expected. This stupid body aside, he felt stronger than ever. After a long moment, the red light of the calamity’s breath faded.
“Huh? We’re okay?” the older man wondered behind Lee Geon. “Did this weird thing protect us?”
‘What weird thing,’ Lee Geon complained in his heart. ‘Is that how you talk about your savior? You’re gonna get it next!’
However, he didn’t let this distract him from going on the offensive against the current target, the hellhound pack leader. This one was both stronger and somewhat smarter than its late subordinates, managing to dodge his first attack. His reach was so short... it was so annoying! And even just a swipe of the hound’s tail could knock him off balance and send him flying uncontrollably. Before he could touch down and right himself, the calamity was on him again, jaws open wide to swallow him whole.
‘YOU WISH!’ Lee Geon roared, furious at the very idea of becoming literal dogfood.
Just before its jaws could close, a deceptively light paw hit the roof of its mouth — and a burst of energy exploded out, blowing cleanly through the top of the calamity’s skull.
...Unfortunately, since he was using purely on the power of his magical energy and no physical force at all, this did nothing to stop the momentum of the rest of the hellhound’s body. In the next moment, its massive, now headless bulk crashed into the surrounding rubble — pinning Lee Geon between the two. With a squeak.
Dust and fragments of concrete flew in all directions. Debris crashed down onto the hellhound’s body, half burying it.
There were several long moments of silence, as the two human spectators held their breath in fear and anticipation. However, no other movements followed.
“Is... is it dead?” the younger one ventured finally.
“I guess so... I can’t believe that evil teddy bear did it,” the older one muttered. “Come on, let’s get out of here before something else happens.”
“But... it protected us, didn’t it? Maybe we should try to help it.”
“Are you crazy?! Who knows if it was gonna go after us next? Come on, come on, let’s go! Coming here was a dumb idea, no matter what some fortuneteller told you! Who would have thought the Tower would collapse today, of all days... It’s definitely a bad omen.”
“Maybe the fortuneteller knew, and that’s why they said to come here.”
“Oh yeah? And where’s the great fortune you’re supposed to encounter here? All we got was being nearly eaten!”
“It wasn’t my great fortune, it was humanity’s fortune...”
The half-heartedly bickering voices faded away as the two men cautiously crawled out of the rubble and hurried away from the crater, toward the boundary of the abandoned area around the Tower — or rather its former location. Once all traces of their presence had faded, everything was silent for a long time, seemingly devoid of life.
In fact, Lee Geon was still alive. Or as alive as he had been since he woke up.
However, he found himself in a predicament. Namely, he had been completely pinned down by the combined bulk of the dead calamity and the rubble that had buried them both. He couldn’t seem to move at all.
It wasn’t impossible to use a skill from a prone, immobile position. But it was awkward at best, and the backlash was much heavier. The last time Lee Geon had to do that, he’d almost lost an arm... though he ended up losing that arm later anyway... And that had been on his real body. This stuffed animal had managed to do well getting flung around, since it had no internal organs to worry about, but it was also far less sturdy in other ways.
If he just blasted his way out, how many pieces would he end up in?
But on the other hand, it wasn’t like he could just lay here and do nothing. Even if he couldn’t starve, he might just go crazy from boredom.
Gritting his nonexistent teeth, Lee Geon did his best to... wiggle.
He was going to be wiggling for a long time.
~.~
As the sunny day transitioned into evening and the night wore on toward dawn, the rubble at the crater where the Demon Tower had stood would occasionally shift. Once in a while, a few pebbles would loosen and bounce away, and sometimes a slab of concrete would slide out of position. Finally, an entire section of the ruins gave way with a dull, echoing rumble, sending up a cloud of dust.
There was no one around to see the small shadow that slowly wiggled from a tiny opening between the newly resettled pieces of debris. It was dirty and misshapen, to the point that it was hard to identify what exactly it was supposed to be, but it persistently crawled onward until it was finally free.
‘....FUUUUUCK! That took forever!!’
Lee Geon cursed in his mind, pounding one little cloth paw against the uneven ground.
He’d thought he had already experienced everything hell had to offer, but this was a whole new kind of torture. It had been slow, it had been frustrating, but worst of all, something within the stuffed animal body had just. Kept. Squeaking!
Probably the most annoying part was that, even with all that struggle, he hadn’t been able to escape cleanly. Countless places on the teddy bear’s body had gotten snagged on sharp edges, giving it a bedraggled and torn appearance, to say nothing of the dirt covering him entirely. But more importantly... he’d ended up losing a leg. It had been wedged between two rocks too firmly, and the stitches attaching it to the body had given way before Lee Geon realized what was going on.
Why couldn’t it have been an arm again? At least it would be easier to keep moving that way!
Painstakingly, he levered himself up and stood, balancing on his remaining leg. It was not a stable position. Gathering himself, he made a jump forward — and predictably almost toppled over. At least the impact hadn’t been enough to squeak...
But what else could he do?
Lee Geon could only slowly hop onward.
The sky had already lightened into an early morning pale blue -- though his progress had been snail-like, not even worth mentioning -- when he sensed something that made him pause. It was unmistakable. Someone was approaching quickly, and their mana was very familiar.
It took a moment for Lee Geon to react, sorting through and setting aside a tangle of emotion.
‘...A bit late, but the timing isn’t bad, Slave #1...’ he finally muttered to himself.
Fortune had smiled on him for once. A free ride had appeared just when he needed it.
Now, it was just a matter of getting aboard.
And that was how, just as he was nearing the former location of the Demon Tower, Hugo Otters suddenly found a dirty rag hurtling at his face with surprising force... and malevolent intent. He jerked back, trying to backpedal in mid-leap, but the rag (assumed) unexpectedly shifted as well. Twisting its body in a quadruple axel that any figure skater would envy, it changed its trajectory just enough to still flop directly into his face with a squeak.
“Gah! What—?!”
Despite his shock, Hugo recovered almost immediately, flipping around to land on his feet and reaching up to grab the thing that was clinging to his head.
However... he couldn’t remove it, even when summoning golden flames around his hand. A strange, cold divine power rebuffed his magical energy, and the thing only clung tighter.
“Hey! Let go!” Hugo protested furiously. Reaching up with his other hand as well, he pulled with all his might, to no avail.
This thing... seemed to be rubbing itself against his face. It was dirty and smelled like it had been soaked in the blood of a calamity. It also let out a squeak every time he squeezed it tighter.
Finally — finally! — it let go.
Staggering slightly, Hugo took a deep gasping breath and used the hand not holding the rag-like thing to rub at his face. There was definitely a dirty stain left, he could feel it. Holding up the thing in his hand, Hugo stared at it in confusion.
No matter how he looked at it, it seemed to be... a teddy bear. A very dirty and ragged one, missing one leg, but nonetheless recognizably a child’s toy.
It wiggled its remaining limbs but otherwise hung obediently in his grip. The divine power that had radiated from it before did not reappear, but Hugo knew he’d sensed it.
“You... what are you?” he asked, frowning. “...A household god? Why are you in this form?”
The teddy bear stopped moving for a long moment, then reached up to scratch at its head with one paw.
In fact, Lee Geon had finally remembered that he couldn’t communicate. He didn’t have any Telepathy skill, and Hugo had no Spirit Invocation skill. Taeksoo also sucked at charades almost as much as karaoke, as Lee Geon recalled from various incidents. It was basically impossible to convey his identity at this time.
How convenient that this airhead had come up with a ready-made excuse all by himself.
Since it was already like this, why not have some fun with it?
Feeling absolutely no discomfort at lying to his friend for some cheap amusement, Lee Geon decisively nodded his little bear head.
“You can’t talk?” Hugo’s eyebrows rose in surprise. “You must be pretty weak.”
‘...Getting pretty cocky, Taeksoo,’ Lee Geon grumbled. ‘Just you wait, I’ll show you who's the weak one around here.’ He waved one clenched paw, though rather half-heartedly, since he knew his friend couldn’t hear him... and wasn’t entirely wrong at the moment.
“How did you end up here? Did you try to leave a cadre’s service?” Hugo continued to guess. “I doubt the divine god would have liked that. Is that why you’re in this state? You must have gotten really roughed up if you’re forced to hide in a physical form like this.”
‘What’s the point of asking all that? I can’t talk, idiot,’ Lee Geon huffed . This dumbass hadn’t changed at all. Giving up, he let himself hang listlessly in Hugo’s grip.
“It’s alright, I won’t tell anyone,” Hugo said, smiling. By the way, it was ridiculous that this dumbass managed to look so handsome even with a big dirt stain in the middle of his face. It really made Lee Geon want to scratch him up a bit. “It’s too bad you can’t tell me your name right now, but let me introduce myself. I am Hugo Otters, the Sagittarius Saint. If you don’t have a place to go, you can stay with me for now. Don’t worry, I won’t make you join my cadre.”
‘Cool,’ Lee Geon said, saluting lazily to show his acceptance, since this was the outcome he had wanted. ‘But did you need to talk so much to get to the point? You’re getting awfully wordy in your old age, Taeksoo.’
Come to think of it, he still didn’t know how much time had passed in the real world. Things were definitely different, including that word Lee Geon didn’t know — “cadre.”
Oh well. He’d just have to go along with it for now.
Having one-sidedly settled things, Hugo carefully placed the ragged stuffed doll on his shoulder.
“I originally came here to investigate the Demon Tower’s disappearance,” he said. “Did you see anything? What happened here?”
Lee Geon shook his head, entirely honest this time. He had no idea what happened on the outside. When he came to in this body, the Tower was already gone.
“You didn’t see anything?” Receiving only a shrug, Hugo sighed. “Aries and Gemini already set up a perimeter around the area yesterday, and there hasn’t been any sign of movement in the exclusion zone around the Tower. I don’t sense anything either... Did it really just fall apart on its own? But then, what about...”
He had started walking as he spoke, making his way toward the crater and easily climbing over the rubble around the edges of it.
There wasn’t really anything to see.
Hugo sighed. “What was I even expecting? There wasn’t any point in coming here.”
Out of respect for his friend, Lee Geon waited a full thirty seconds before reaching out and pulling his hair. ‘Enough moping,’ he scolded without sympathy.
Yelping in surprise, Hugo jumped and nearly dislodged the stuffed bear from his shoulder. “You... I’m starting to think you didn’t try to leave but got kicked out instead,” he said, frowning. However, he didn’t do anything else.
What a doormat, Lee Geon sighed to himself. It really made people feel uneasy about him.
~.~
[Entering Sagittarius’s sanctuary. You have been granted permission to access.]
Lee Geon stared at the pop up screen for a moment, suddenly remembering that he’d been seeing these things intermittently. That was new, but thinking back on it, he suspected the other awakeners had been able to see them all along. They’d certainly stared at thin air often enough, and sometimes made weird gestures too.
Losing interest, he focused instead on the house Hugo had brought him to. From all appearances, it looked like an ordinary family home, hardly the kind of place a fancy term like sanctuary should be applied to.
“I’m home,” Hugo called out quietly as he stepped inside and closed the door behind him.
There was no response. It seemed like there was no one else there.
“Alright, let’s get a good look at you,” he declared, dropping onto the couch and pulling Lee Geon off his shoulder. “Hm... it doesn’t look like the damage is too severe. You should still be able to leave if you need to, so there’s no need to use a Repair skill. Still, we can’t leave you looking like this. I’ll sew you up... after a good wash.”
‘Urgh,’ Lee Geon muttered, letting himself get fondled... examined all over, but not terribly happy about it. ‘Don’t make it sound like this is the best option when you just don’t want to use a Repair skill.’
He also couldn’t leave this form, despite Hugo’s assumptions, because he wasn’t a pervert who liked sending his soul here and there, unlike some fatsos and witches he could name, so he’d never bothered learning how to do that sort of thing.
What Lee Geon could have done was get something to write on and properly communicate his identity and the entire situation... but he wasn’t going to do that. For one thing, it would be embarrassing. Letting Taeksoo know he was a teddy bear at the moment? Letting someone know it was him looking like this? No way.
For another, wasn’t this a great chance to get some prime blackmail and teasing material?
Hugo was always a bit too unguarded and permissive, but he completely forgot to put up any defense in front of a stuffed animal. He also kept talking even without getting any response, or perhaps precisely because of it.
Wouldn’t he slip up and say something embarrassing before long? Or maybe do something even more ridiculous than usual? Something he wouldn't normally let Lee Geon know? But now he’d know! And he’d never let him live it down!
It was a completely flawless plan, for sure.
Unfortunately, Lee Geon did not account for “a good wash.”
Hugo at least had the good sense to pass on the washing machine, despite giving it an uncomfortably long, considering look. Instead, he plugged up the kitchen sink, letting it fill with soapy water and... stuck Lee Geon directly in. And started scrubbing to the sound of muffled squeaks.
‘GYAAAAAH!!’
No one could hear Lee Geon’s blood-curdling screams of protest. However, there was no way to miss the jet of soapy water he churned up with his mana and sent flying straight into Hugo’s face in retaliation. The Sagittarius saint jerked back, coughing and spluttering.
“Hey, watch it!” Hugo protested. “This is for your own good! Do you want to keep stinking of calamity blood and tracking dirt everywhere?”
‘Wash more gently, dumbass! Do you think I’m a cleaning rag!’ Lee Geon shot back, vigorously waving his water-logged arms to convey his point.
Hugo ruthlessly plunged him back into the water and continued to scrub. Of course, Lee Geon did not take this lying down either.
By the time they were done, the entire kitchen was wet and slippery, and Hugo looked like a drowned rat. At least his face was finally clean. That idiot had actually talked to the Gemini and Aries groupies while looking like that, what a dumbass...
The teddy bear had regained its original light brown color, but looked even worse from every other angle.
‘I’ll get you back for this, Taeksoo,’ Lee Geon muttered, casting a baleful look at this supposed friend.
“I might as well shower now, I suppose,” Hugo muttered, running a hand through his wet hair and slicking it back. With just one gesture, even soaked and pathetic, he still looked like a model straight from a cover shoot. It was absolutely disgusting. “I’ll be back soon, so just wait quietly while you dry, okay?”
After a moment of consideration, he turned on the television and left Lee Geon, swaddled in a towel, on the couch in front of it. Lee Geon was ready to be outraged about that as well, but he soon found something far more infuriating — the news reports.
They were all about him! And they were all nonsense!!
Lee Geon was dead (incorrect, but understandable assumption). Lee Geon had heroically sacrificed himself for humanity (also incorrect, he got backstabbed!) so that the other saints could kill Crimson Eye (wrong! he killed it!). Lee Geon had crazed followers (...expected). Lee Geon wasn’t back, that was just the crazed follower crazy talk (incorrect again, he was indeed back). Lee Geon had left all his assets and properties to the government (like hell he did??). Lee Geon blah blah blah—
It only took about ten minutes for Hugo to return, now changed into casual sweatpants and toweling his hair dry, but Lee Geon was both sick of hearing his own name and ready to commit murder.
Hugo paused for a moment as he approached, staring at the television.
“Oh, it’s this... of course it is,” he sighed. “It’s been like this since the Tower collapsed yesterday.”
He dropped a stack of things on the coffee table and picked up Lee Geon before taking his place in the center of the couch. One of the things he had brought was a hairdryer, and he began to blow dry the remaining moisture out of the stuffed toy, the noise drowning out the continuing news report. His eyes remained steadily focused on his task, but the furrow in his brow showed he was still completely aware of what the television was showing.
‘Just turn it off, idiot,’ Lee Geon huffed.
Wiggling out of Hugo’s loose hold, he resolutely hopped over to the remote and jabbed the power button. The television turned off, cutting the newscaster’s words mid-sentence.
Hugo stared at him for a moment in surprise, absently clicking the hairdryer off as well. “Did you get tired of listening to them repeat the same thing?” he guessed with a wry smile. “It’s all nonsense, right?”
Setting it aside, he picked up a box from among the things he’d brought, which opened to reveal a few sewing supplies. Hugo rifled through the swatches of cloth for a few moments before choosing a few and placing them in front of Lee Geon.
“Which one do you like better?” he asked. “There’s nothing that would match the original fur, so you’re going to end up a patchwork bear either way.”
‘Yeah, because you’re too cheap for a Repair skill,’ Lee Geon disparaged absently, eyeing the cloth options. They were an odd assortment of fabric pieces, probably from old clothing. It seemed Hugo had chosen these specific ones based on their thickness and texture. None were particularly satisfactory, so in the end, he just jabbed one paw toward a green piece — patterned with slices of lime.
“It’s cute,” Hugo complimented with a smile, putting away the others and pulling out a needle and green thread.
‘Who wants your cute, huh? Even some random household god wouldn’t be happy to hear that!’
Hugo’s movements were unexpectedly sure and precise. He had already known how to sew before, in Lee Geon’s recollection, since he wasn’t a stuck up or fussy type who’d refuse to fix his own clothes and gear, and everyone needed to patch up a hole or rip all too often between battles. But he had been only barely passable at it — which had been good enough for their purposes, but certainly nothing impressive to look at.
Not like the small, even stitches the Hugo of now made quickly along what would soon become a new teddy bear leg, which he’d been able to estimate the pattern on and cut out with just a few judicious looks. How did he even end up honing that kind of skill? For that matter, why did he even have pieces of fabric with lime slice and pink-and-red heart prints? No matter how bad his fashion sense, Hugo wouldn’t have worn shirts like that.
Propping up his big stuffed head with one paw, Lee Geon watched his friend work.
He had a guess. This was a family home, after all. He hadn’t been able to get a good look at the photographs scattered around the place, but it wasn’t like a single man would live in a place like this alone.
...It had been a long time, hadn’t it?
Hugo spoke without looking up from his sewing.
“Do you know about Lee Geon?” he asked. “I guess it depends which lord you served under before, but I doubt any of them except Hayley would have had anything good to say about him.”
Lee Geon’s single surviving ear perked up in interest. ‘Oh? And what about you, Taeksoo?’ he wondered. Finally, the blackmail he’d been looking for...! ‘Go on, tell me how you really feel. And then after I’m back to normal... heheh. Don’t blame me for taking it personally!’
“It’s just because they’re all jealous,” Hugo went on, completely unaware of the side commentary. “They envy him to death. Geon was too incredible. There was nothing he couldn’t do. You couldn’t help comparing yourself to him, and you would always come up short. That’s why people always either hated him or worshiped him... or both.”
He paused, turning the now completed fabric leg right side out, and reached over to pull out a packet of cotton balls from among the things he had brought with him to the living room. With an excessive focus, he began to shred a few to use as stuffing.
“‘What if Lee Geon returns?’ Even now people can’t sit still at the thought of it.” Hugo paused, scoffing. “Not that I’m any different. I came rushing over too, like an idiot. It’s been twenty years. By now, it should be obvious, even Geon couldn’t....”
Clicking his tongue, he focused on stuffing cotton into the fabric leg with far too much fervor.
So it was twenty years. Twenty years, huh?
‘Yeah,’ Lee Geon muttered to himself, ‘you’re an idiot.’
Stuffing complete, Hugo prodded the teddy bear’s surviving leg with one hand and the newly made one with the other, comparing the fullness of the two. Once he was satisfied, he carefully picked up the stuffed toy and began the painstaking process of attaching its new leg to the body. Sighing deeply in his heart at the indignity of it all, Lee Geon let him carry on and didn’t struggle.
“Even if he returned, I don’t know how I’d be able to face him,” Hugo said quietly, even as he continued to move the needle steadily. “I couldn’t even keep my promise to protect Korea.”
Hm? Lee Geon’s non-existent eyebrows rose, and he twisted around to look at his friend, despite the odd angle. His expression was hard to make out, but...
‘Idiot,’ Lee Geon repeated, letting himself flop bonelessly again.
“In any case,” Hugo said, after he’d tied off the thread and held up the stuffed bear for a moment to judge his handiwork, “you should know Lee Geon was the most powerful person in the world. He was a great hero.”
‘And you’re a disappointment through and through,’ Lee Geon told him half-heartedly. ‘You talk so much, and this isn’t even good blackmail.’
His mental words were harsh. But, reaching out, he lightly patted Hugo’s head.
His friend smiled. “You’re welcome,” he said, completely misunderstanding as always. “Let’s get the rest done too, so you’ll be as good as new.”
~.~
One green replacement ear, several large patches, and a whole lot of darning for small rips later, Lee Geon was judged “good as new” — though he now looked like a brown and lime quilt, the effect was surprisingly presentable. Hugo even tied a ribbon on his neck, making him look like a proper child’s toy.
...Gross, but at this point, Lee Geon had become mostly inured to his situation.
As Hugo was finishing up, a rectangular electronic device Lee Geon wasn’t familiar with made a sound from where it had been left on the couch. Reaching over, Hugo picked it up and glanced at it. Although it was faint, his expression sank with disappointment.
“Not today, huh...” he muttered, putting it down again. Glancing at Lee Geon, he explained, “I called someone who is more familiar with spirits and invocation to come over and see if he can help. There must be something wrong if you can’t even communicate. But he’s busy today, so we’ll have to wait to do anything else. For now, just do as you like. I have some work to take care of.”
After all the fussing around, it was already afternoon. Pulling out another, larger electronic device that was probably a portable computer, Hugo indeed got to work.
It was the kind of boring stuff Lee Geon had always tried to avoid, back in the day. Responding to the press, the governments, the other Saints, who all always wanted something and took the most annoying, roundabout way to get to the point, sorting through information about raids and calamity attacks across the world to keep on top of the situation, which didn’t seem to have changed all that much despite stabilizing over the time Lee Geon was gone, planning strategies and coordinating with the various supporting forces and factions...
And then of course, there were the calls. The rectangular thing was a phone, it turned out. And it rang entirely too often.
Based on what he overheard as he was casually poking around the house, Lee Geon would have ignored or hung up every single one of those calls, but Hugo had always been more tolerant in regard to idiots wasting his time. Though... not to that extent.
‘Did you lose your spine while I was gone?’ Lee Geon complained to himself, as if trying to drown out yet another mindless exchange, even if he could only really hear one side of it. ‘What are you putting up with this stuff for? They’re just jerking you around, it’s embarrassing.’
There were several photographs around the living room. Some showed a group of people that included a few familiar faces, who stood around Hugo like a royal guard, or maybe like an idol’s fan following. Most showed two children, a boy and a girl, growing up from toddlers to young teens. There was even one photograph of the boy in a graduation gown and a diploma he was too young for — what a nerd — and another of the girl, now a young woman, posing atop a defeated calamity, with an angle and composition that was clearly from some news article.
It was a family home, after all. So it made sense there would be kids. And twenty years was more than enough time for them to grow up and move out.
‘Wow, so you’re suffering from empty nest syndrome, and that’s why you’d even take a weird stuffed toy home to fuss over?’ Lee Geon chortled. ‘That’s sad, Taeksoo! That’s real sad!’
Laughing to himself wasn’t nearly as fun as laughing at someone else though, and Lee Geon quickly lost interest.
Having run out of things to amuse himself with, he could only plop himself down near Hugo and also get to work — sorting through the strange popups he’d started getting and familiarizing himself with the system he could see now.
It was well past dark when Hugo finally closed his computer and set aside the phone. Running a hand over his face, he glanced out the window and sighed.
“Well, since it’s just us, let’s just have some instant ramen,” he decided.
‘You’re a family man, but you’re still eating like a bachelor,’ Lee Geon tsk-tsked to himself. ‘You didn’t feed your kids like this, did you?’
It wasn’t like it mattered to him, of course, since he couldn’t eat anyway. But unexpectedly, he still received a small bowl.
Wasn’t this basically taunting him?
[An offering has been received. The divine status of Ophiuchus has increased by a negligible amount.]
‘If it’s negligible, then don’t mention it,’ he complained. ‘I still can’t eat it!’
Why was he able to tell it smelled good when he didn’t even have a real nose? This was really just taunting him!
The popup notifications had no response to that.
Hugo ate on the couch, turning the television back on. It was still the same news, with the exact same nonsense that made Lee Geon feel annoyed just hearing his own name. Snatching away the remote, he quickly flipped through the channels, ignoring Hugo’s amused gaze on him, until he finally found something different — a soap opera in the middle of a tearful, overacted confrontation scene.
“How could you! With my twin sister—!”
“No, Young Soon! She’s nothing to me, you’re my only love—!”
Lee Geon watched emotionlessly for several moments before deciding that it would do and setting down the remote.
He could hear Hugo snickering on the couch but chose to magnanimously ignore him.
“They must be doing a rerun again,” Hugo said between slurping up his ramen. “This is the season finale for season one. Actually, her twin sister isn’t really her twin but her second cousin, and they got switched at birth, so the one who saved him when they were children was the other girl...”
‘Why do you even know this?’
“Yooha’s classmates were really into this show,” Hugo explained himself — for once in line with Lee Geon’s unheard questioning. “She complained about it a lot because they wouldn’t stop talking about it at school.”
Despite saying this, he hadn’t taken his eyes off the screen the entire time, watching the rather tepid drama with keen interest. Propping his head up, Lee Geon watched him in turn. If nothing else, he was pretty sure Taeksoo’s acting was better than the slop behind him on the television, and any storyline he made up from the overwrought dialogue and Hugo’s visual cues was bound to be better than the real thing.
Hugo nodded off somewhere in the final act of season two.
Turning off the television, Lee Geon grudgingly hopped onto the couch to pull the blanket more securely over him.
...He wouldn’t have bothered if he’d known what this would get him. With a vague, sleepy sound, Hugo shifted to get more comfortable under the blanket — and suddenly reached out, pulling Lee Geon against his chest.
‘Hey,’ Lee Geon protested after a moment of surprise. ‘Hey! Who are you feeling up over here!’
Tapping furiously on Hugo’s arm did nothing. Wiggling didn’t help against the surprisingly strong hold. Even the squeak that the teddy bear released as it was squeezed didn’t wake him up. In the end, Lee Geon could only let himself get cuddled.
‘...Whatever. Enjoy this once in a lifetime opportunity, Taeksoo.’
At least he had his blackmail now. He wouldn’t hold back on using it.
He wouldn’t let Hugo live down sleeping with a stuffed animal for at least the next twenty years, he swore.
~.~
In the early hours of the morning, a notification popped up unseen by either the sleeping man or the sleeping teddy bear.
[Troubleshooting has been completed. No further errors detected.]
[Resuming physical reconstruction process.]
[Your existing abilities will be passed on...]
The faint green light made Hugo wrinkle his nose and shift around the sudden weight that had appeared half on top of him on the couch. The stuffed animal trapped between the two bodies let out a particularly miserable, muffled squeak.
Everything returned to a peaceful, sleepy silence.
~.~
Lee Geon woke up when the front door opened. Someone stepped inside and closed it behind them, then tiptoed around in the entryway, taking off their shoes. Probably not a break in, then. Deciding it wasn’t his problem, Lee Geon closed his eyes and turned his face away from the morning light coming in through the windows.
However, it was about to become his problem.
Out of habit formed on and off the battlefield, he still kept track of their unknown visitor’s movements — dropping what was probably a bag on the carpet just past the entryway, shrugging off and carelessly throwing aside a jacket, then wandering casually into the living room.
“Dad, are you sleeping on the couch aga...aaaaah?”
A boy’s voice started a question, only to trail off into a rising sound of shock and befuddlement.
Vaguely, Lee Geon had a bad feeling in the single moment of stunned silence — before all hell broke loose.
“GYAAAAAAH!”
“What?! What’s happening?”
In response to his son’s piercing, outraged scream, Hugo startled awake, shooting up in a panic. And as a result, Lee Geon found himself unceremoniously tossed off the couch and onto the floor between it and the coffee table. He hit the carpet with a dull thump and a wince.
“Fuck,” he muttered, not particularly hurt, but still annoyed. Reaching up, he rubbed his face.
And paused.
He definitely heard his own voice just then, and not just in his mind. For that matter, a stuffed animal wouldn’t be making a deep thump when it hit the ground. Sitting up, Lee Geon pulled his hand away from his face and stared down at the large, undeniably human-shaped palm.
The teddy bear that had landed on his bare chest slid down into his lap, only barely covered by the blanket that had followed him off the couch. Picking it up, Lee Geon squeezed it. It squeaked, which was a whole lot funnier now that he wasn’t inside it.
“I can’t believe this!”
“S-Sungjae? Wait, wait, it’s not... I mean...”
“How can you be like this? Don’t you have any decency?!”
“No, I really don’t... This isn’t...”
“Gross!”
Meanwhile, a family drama worthy of last night’s soap opera raged next to him as Hugo desperately tried to calm the situation, wearing an expression of complete and utter confusion, while his son (assumed) raged without giving him a chance to get a word in edgewise.
“I don’t care if you’re having a midlife crisis and hook up with some guy half your age,” ‘Sungjae’ declared ruthlessly. “But at least don’t do it where I can walk in on you! You’re the one that asked me to come over! Why do I have to see this first thing in the morning?”
“No, there’s really nothing like that!” Hugo protested. “I didn’t do anything! I don’t... know who this is...?”
He shot a strange look at Lee Geon, which didn’t have any trace of recognition even when their eyes met.
Come to think of it, the hand Lee Geon had been looking at before was the one he had lost back in the battle with Crimson Eye. He could see that all the scars were gone from his bare chest, legs and arms. His face had also felt completely smooth under his palm. Without all those wounds, he must be unrecognizable even to his friend.
Suddenly, Lee Geon thought of a very funny idea.
“Oh yeah? Then why is he naked?!”
Hugo spluttered, unable to respond. He would have also liked to know the answer to that.
So Lee Geon would graciously provide.
“It’s because clothes weren’t included when materializing this body,” he said, leaning against the coffee table. Strictly speaking, he was even telling the truth. “Maybe because I wasn’t wearing any in the previous vessel, if you don’t count the ribbon.”
Holding up the teddy bear in one hand, he waved it lazily.
“Wait, you mean... you’re that household god?” Hugo realized, his eyebrows shooting up.
Lee Geon didn’t confirm or deny that part. Instead, he smiled and started to bullshit.
“I’m so grateful to the Sagittarius Celestial Lord for picking me and taking such good care of me,” he said. It was a little awkward, honestly. Lee Geon had never used this kind of language in his life, despite certainly hearing it often enough from various suck ups and conmen. “In such a vulnerable moment, I was able to entrust myself in your hands. It was truly my great fortune.”
He stared directly at Hugo as he spoke — to better watch his expression wriggle from confusion to awkwardness to embarrassment as he recalled the way he’d ended letting his guard down when dealing with a stuffed animal. All the casual touching, the careless remarks... All of it probably looked quite different in retrospect when replacing the teddy bear with the image of a handsome and entirely naked man.
Good! This was a life lesson! Don’t get lax just because something doesn’t look threatening, who knows when it’s actually possessed by the ghost of your friend from twenty years ago!
Hugo opened his mouth as if to reply, but it was obvious he couldn’t even begin to find the words for this situation. His eyes darted aside, then back toward Lee Geon, only to land on his bare chest and quickly look away again. There was absolutely no thinking going on, and Lee Geon was going to hold the memory of this moment over his head for a very, very long time.
Time for the final touch.
“Of course, I’ll properly repay Celestial Lord’s favor,” he said, half rising toward Hugo on the couch, “in any... way... necessary...”
Placing his hand lightly on Hugo’s chest, he pushed him back and leaned in.
The blanket shifted, falling away completely.
Sungjae screeched, throwing his hands over his face and spinning around away from them for good measure.
Damn. The look on Hugo’s face was absolutely priceless.
Finally, Lee Geon couldn’t take it anymore and burst out laughing.
(And if he surreptitiously kept the teddy bear in the confusion that followed, storing it among his things... well, that was his business and no one else’s.)
END
~.~