Chapter Text
Peter doesn't feel much of anything when Derek is born, if he's being honest. Which, he rarely is, on principle. Honesty is - difficult, for him, to say the least. He learned to guard his secrets and to make secrets of anything important from a very young age. He learned to tiptoe around it, then to dance around it, then to waltz around and with it, and finally to evade the truth altogether. It's a combination of all of those things, most days.
The point is, he keeps it to himself. It's not like anyone is really asking him for an opinion on having a nephew, anyway. Talia certainly couldn't care less what Peter thinks about this. It's his job to keep the pack safe, and Derek is a part of the pack, now. Peter doesn't have to care for him. He just has to kill for him, die for him, whatever's required. Not quite as severely as he has to protect Laura - she's the first-born, the eventual-alpha-to-be, though it won't be for decades and decades and decades if Talia has her way. She's only a toddler now. She doesn't understand what's expected of her. Peter can see what will happen clear as day, though, when she finds out what her birthright entails. There will be excitement, and fear, in equal measure, changing with the tides of the years as they pass. And they will pass, and they will pass, and resentment will seep into the mix until it takes over everything.
He doesn't say that to Talia, though. He's just her 'kid' brother - even if he's the youngest person in Hale pack history to take on the role of the left hand, at 15, the same year that Derek's born. It's a non-violent takeover, their current left hand marries into another pack, and Peter steps into the role.
All that is to say, he doesn't really care very much that there's another pack member to protect. The Hale pack is large, for all that it's mostly family. Though, their left hand wasn't the only person to leave in recent years, since Talia has taken over. Many of them think that she's too young, too immature to truly embrace the mantle of alpha. If Peter agrees, well, that's his business. His job is just to threaten anyone who dares to speak up about it, or threatens Talia's power in any way.
There's something about the baby, though, as he grows into a toddler and a child, that has Peter's interest. Maybe it's because the boy clings to Peter, for some unknown reason, and it's just the proximity and the fact that no one else spends time with Peter like that. Not in the pack, anyway, and he doesn't have much outside of them. Can't afford to, with his position.
It's the eyes, though, Peter thinks. Derek has eyes much, much older than his years. He's also quiet, not demanding, even if he is clingy. He's not like Laura, who has started her training as eventual-alpha-to-be, and is currently in a phase of deciding that means everyone must obey her and bend to her every whim. Peter bites his tongue so hard that it bleeds when Talia complains about this in his presence - who could she have possibly picked that up from, he wonders? Derek has no such annoyances, though. He simply enjoys being in Peter's presence, and as long as he doesn't let him tag along anywhere dangerous - the fact that Talia even felt the need to voice that was ridiculous, in Peter's opinion - he's one less thing for Talia to have to worry about.
It's almost like having a pet, Peter thinks, though dog jokes are usually beneath him. It's fitting, though, the way Derek follows him around with his wide, old eyes and looks at Peter with an entirely undeserved devotion. Peter begins to really think of it that way as Derek grows, and the clinginess continues. It's devotion, like Derek thinks of Peter as some kind of god.
As much as he avoids honesty, Peter can say that it's the honest truth that he's always had a bit of an ego. He had to, for some of the time. If nobody else was going to care about him, well, then that made him the only person for the job. To have Derek look at him the way he does, listen to him the way he does, even if he's a child, is a power trip.
It's harmless, though. It's funny how he reacts when Talia pops out yet another baby - maybe the father will stick around this time, though Peter doubts it. None of them have, for long. Talia intimidates them, wears them down. These men don't like playing second fiddle. The ideal powerful woman they think they want won't be submissive to them. For all that Peter resents Talia for, he thinks that her self-worth has suffered too, if these are the choices she makes. In any case, there's a new baby, but Talia has been expanding the power and reach and territory of the Hale pack. She's busy, and so the child - Cora, the third and hopefully last - spends time with Peter (and Derek, by proxy).
Derek's reaction is the funny part. He acts as if the world is ending. He's jealous of the baby, for having to share Peter's time and attention with her. It's not just having a sibling, no, he handles having Laura for a sister well enough, but she doesn't like to bother with Peter, much. And that's perfectly fine by both Peter and Derek, thank you very much. It's a ridiculous thing. Cora doesn't look at him the way that Derek has. Peter's her sometimes fun, sometimes boring uncle, and that's it. But she's still there - an interloper, somehow, in Derek's eyes.
Peter doesn't say it to anyone, of course, he never says any of this to anyone, who would he even say it to? Talia? But the ego boost only gets worse when he sees Derek scowling at his baby sister for daring to cuddle up to Peter on a full moon, especially since it's from under Peter's other arm.
As he grows, the fascination becomes less one-sided, decidedly so. Derek is a very different person from Peter and Talia both. He's a kind of person that Peter doesn't quite think he's ever met. Maybe it's because he's a child, and Peter doesn't spend much time around children that aren't his nieces and nephew, and he'll grow out of it and become someone else. But he's just so...pure. A true innocent. He can't lie for anything, he keeps no secrets, he never gets into trouble. He's an absolute angel, and Peter is fascinated. He starts to feel like the pet dog, sometimes, when he says something caustic or mean either out loud or under his breath - it's a fifty-fifty chance with him, really - and suddenly he's getting a wave of disapproval and the furrow of Derek's brow sent his way. Like Derek even understands what Peter's saying, most of the time, but he's particularly good at rooting out chemosignals, even from someone who puts up as much of a careful front as Peter. It's almost unsettling, actually, how the thought of Derek's disappointment makes Peter feel. No one has rattled him like that in years.
It's an unpleasant itch, just under his skin. But it's there, and he doesn't know what to do with it, especially when the rest of the time, Derek still follows him around with that same devotion, even as he enters his tween and teenage years. Peter almost begins to crave some distance - something he has plenty of from all of his other family and pack members, because it really is just the family now, and even less of them than before - because he feels like something has to give, and he doesn't want it to be Derek. He doesn't want it to be him, either, especially given the nature of what he does, but there's something inside of him that just yearns to protect Derek as he is. Innocent. Pure. Things that Peter is decidedly not.
There are other things that change as Derek grows, too, and they make Peter decidedly even more uncomfortable, somehow. Peter becomes appreciative of Derek in a way he hasn't been before, and Derek, bless his heart, becomes enamored with Peter. He tries to write it off as teenage hormones, as nothing special at first. Derek can't hide how he's feeling for anything. But it's just around Peter. It's specific to him. And it continues to build Peter's ego even as it makes him feel just a bit disgusting at the same time.
What's he to do about it, though? He can't just tell Derek to stop being into him. And he knows he wouldn't, anyway, even if he could. Even if he didn't start to return it uncomfortably early. He'd never act on it, of course. That's not who Peter is. Still, it leaves him in an odd situation, almost at odds with himself. That type of conflict is entirely new to him.
And then the thing that he absolutely knew he didn't want to happen happens. Talia starts to notice. She's never really had time for Derek, or for Cora, and certainly not for Peter. But she is still the alpha, and she is still their mother and Peter's sister. It takes her years and years to catch on. But once she does, Peter feels the pressure.
"Why don't you spend the weekend with one of your friends from school? I'm sure Peter doesn't need you tagging along on his trip."
Derek frowns, while Peter keeps his face neutral, though he shares Derek's displeasure at the fairly obvious redirection. Peter doesn't need Derek to tag along, is the thing. He'll already need to leave him alone for part of it anyway, while he pulls recon on a pack that's gently starting to push at their boarders, encroach on the territory. Sometimes Derek pushes to go with Peter for activities like that, too, but Peter always denies him. He doesn't want the world he lives in to touch Derek in that way. God forbid something goes wrong and Peter has to fight to protect them both, or even kill. He has no problem doing those things, of course, but not in front of Derek. Not if he can help it.
Cora wants to be included too, some of the time, but she's more content to stay home. She's clung to Peter and Derek less and less as she's grown - rather, she'll happily spend time isolated, all by herself in her room most of the time. It can't be healthy, but it's not Peter's job to care. He makes sure she's safe, maybe with a touch more care and concern than he has for Laura. Sue him, he absolutely plays favorites. Anyone who says they don't is lying, which of course Peter is fine with, but he doesn't lie to himself. As much as he can avoid it, anyway.
She stays out of it when Talia says this, as does Peter. He has to appear indifferent - this is a test. He'll pass, but from the way Derek's frown only tightens at the silence and his knuckles go white around his fork, he's not sure that Derek will. And it just might condemn them both if he doesn't. Still, he has to let it play out.
"Why don't you want me to go with him?"
Peter closes his eyes briefly, tightly. Of course that was Talia's intent, but she's an alpha. She won't appreciate being called out like that, and Derek knows it. He just doesn't care in the same way that Peter does. He's stubborn.
She purses her lips, as expected, and looks at Peter. "Surely you can take care of business better without your nephew by your side."
"Certainly," Peter nods, and knows his heartbeat is steady. It is the truth. The actual business he's taking care of will be much easier without also worrying about Derek being there. But now he's going to be worried about Derek being here, and that's not exactly ideal either.
"That's settled, then."
"But - " Derek begins, and Peter wills him to shut the fuck up before he makes this worse. He cuts himself off, luckily enough, and that's the end of that. When Peter goes away that weekend, he goes alone, and it goes fine. Upon his arrival, Derek doesn't come to see him, and Peter goes to his room alone. It feels wrong, somehow, and also like something has changed between them. Like either Talia put up a wall, told Derek directly to back off and avoid Peter, or Derek made the choice himself after Peter didn't directly stand up to Talia and make a big scene. He hopes it's the former rather than the latter. That way it's still him and Derek against Talia, and not everyone versus each other. That's not a good spot to be in.
It isn't quite that bad, but that wall remains. Derek becomes ostensibly disinterested in Peter, though Peter knows that's not actually the case. But he saw his mother's reaction. Felt it. And he's being smart about it.
Peter doesn't anticipate how it feels to not be experiencing the hero worship anymore. It's...odd, after he's had Derek following him around for so long.
But then Derek goes and does what high school age boys do and gets a girlfriend. And everything goes to shit.