Chapter Text
He’s out with Steve, sitting in a smaller park and eating a frankly disgusting amount of hot dogs with him on a park bench. It’s one of the most enjoyable days out he’s had in a while. The area looks like shit, he might come back some time to clean the place up, but for now, with the sun setting and no one around to bother them, it felt real nice.
“So Nat left him there, flat on his back on the pavement,” Steve laughs, covering his mouth so he doesn’t spit hot dog around when he does. “S’why Sam’s been avoiding her the past week.”
“How do you manage to act like a bunch of children when you're meant to be saving the world?” He asks, understanding and ignoring the irony in his asking.
“You’d be surprised how much down time we have on missions,” He shrugged. “It’s all either beating up grunts or waiting to beat up grunts in increasingly uncomfortable places. Did I tell you about-”
“The sewers in Ithaca?” Bucky looked at him, “You’ve told me about a dozen times.”
“Good! It was awful!” Steve presses against him, arm slung around his shoulder. Bucky used to do that, lean over Steve, pressing into him with a good amount of his weight. Being on the other side of it, he can understand why Steve never complained.
Bucky heard the steps a second too late, sneakers on concrete, coming toward them. Maybe a few months ago, he would have expected Hydra or someone looking for revenge for an old target. Now, though, he knew very well what was coming. He didn’t need super soldier hearing to catch the clicks of a camera.
“Mister Rogers!” The cameraman called, running up to them with more speed than brains, “What are you doing here with the winter soldier? What are you doing in such a rundown area? Is this a date? A stakeout? What can you-”
Bucky isn’t great with choices, but he doesn’t have to think before he knocks the guy to the ground.
*
Unknown number
Come over tonight.
You
Are you sure?
Unknown number
Everythings set up for you
I saw you on the news
You
I’ll be over at seven.
*
“Are you sure you’re alright, Buck?” Steve is holding his arm, looking at him like he just coughed up blood. Hypocrite.
“Fine, Stevie, just going out,” He didn’t shake Steve’s hand off, even he knew that would be rude as hell, but he didn’t pretend to hold back either. He was tired. “I just need to walk this off.”
“With your bag?”
Bucky paused. He didn’t especially like lying to Steve, but he didn’t want to talk about it either. He'd settled on lying by omission and figured when it blew up in his face, he’d deal with it them.
"I'm gonna be out all night," he shrugged, "Never know what you're gonna need."
He did, in fact, know what he needed.
“I know you like going out, but I don’t know how I feel about tonight.” Steve’s hand tightened, not as a threat, but to show he was worried.
Bucky understood, he did, he really did. If he was recognized out walking, he would get so much shit. Still, he had somewhere to be.
“I promise I’ll be safe, Stevie,” He turned, giving Steve a little smile, “You don’t have to worry about me, punk. That’s my job, remember?”
He made it into the elevator before Steve could stop him, waving goodbye as the doors closed.
*
Bucky walks into Nine Realms Books, the lights in the front of the store already off for the night, replaced by the warm tinted light on the second floor. He changes in the darkness and walks up without announcing himself. Bucky is expected, and he’s excited.
*
As soon as the door opens, James is bouncing inside, throwing his arms around his daddy’s midsection, leaning forward so his head rests on his chest. Any pain or annoyance he might have felt before was pushed aside for excitement.
“Daddy!” He smiles up at his daddy, “Did you miss me?”
“I always miss you, little one.” He squeezes him tightly, closing the door behind James, even though the shop downstairs is already closed, so no one can come up anyways.
Daddy helps him take his backpack off and hangs it by the door. He doesn't need the clothes inside and daddy holds onto the phone so he doesn't have to worry about it. Daddy always takes care of him like that, making sure James doesn't have to worry.
"Can I play now?" James asks, very nicely, even though he knows the answer.
"Have you checked your schedule chart, darling?" Daddy asks him and then, his favorite part, daddy picks him up and settles him on his hip.
James giggles, a sound that anywhere else would be utterly alien to his own ears, but daddy always manages to bring them out of him. Before him, no one had picked James up in a long, long time. It made him feel safe and small. All of it did, their routines and charts and games all made him feel like things were okay. There was nothing to be stressed or scared about here. No hard choices or expectations or anything, just him and his daddy.
He was carried into the small kitchen and his daddy opened up the cup cabinet. His chart was taped to the inside, light purple with little crayon drawings around the edges. He liked that his chart was somewhere easy to reach and easy to hide and he likes that he got to decide where to put it. He reaches up to the chore chart, pointing to the first point-
“Put away clothes!” He reads.
“What a good boy,” his daddy smiles petting his hair. “Get your clothes from your bag and put them away, darling.”
“Yes sir!” He wiggles a little, but not enough to make daddy drop him. He’s done that a few times but it was dangerous so he doesn’t anymore. As soon as he’s placed on the ground, he hurries over to his bag, pulling out his big boy clothes and running them into his room.
He has a whole room all to himself here, decorated however he wanted! He keeps his big boy clothes on the very top dresser drawer, but the rest of the room is just toys and little clothes and stuffed animals and things that make him feel good. He’s even got all his favorite dolls lined up on top of his dresser, and he says hi to them as he puts his things away.
“Hi Clawdeen, hi Cleo, hi Cleo, hi Draculaura, hi Frankie, hi Clawdeen, hi Ghoulia, hi, Frankie!”
James loved Monster High and he loved that his daddy bought him new dolls as gifts all the time. Part of him felt bad because they were expensive and some lines were hard to find, but the rest of him was just so excited to have then he didn’t care. He never could have had things like this when he was really little, his old daddy never would have let him have dolls.
He loved Monster High because it was fun to collect them and organize them and set them up on little scenes from the movies or dress them up. He wasn’t good at pretend or making up stories, but daddy didn’t mind! His daddy was always happy watch him brush their hair and fix their clothes or set them up in the living room to watch a movie.
James pulled his big boy clothes off and changed into a pair of comfy shorts and a shirt with a Hello Kitty on it. Sanrio was another thing other people might think he was weird for liking, but he thought they were adorable and his daddy did too! He has a Baku plush on his bed that he loves more than absolutely anything! James finished putting on his clothes and ran up to his bed to pet Baku on the head, then went out to see his daddy again.
“Clothes done!” He called as he came into the living room, skidding to a stop in front of his daddy. He liked that he was just short enough to have to look up at his daddy’s face, it made him feel really little.
“Oh, what a cute outfit you chose,” Daddy smiled at him and pet his hair. “Do you know what we do next?”
“Uhmm,” He had to think about it for a second, rocking a little on his heels as he did. “It’s… Bathroom time!”
“Correct! Good job, James.” Daddy said, and it was his favorite thing to hear. “Before we use the restroom, can you tell me if it’s a pants day or a pull up day?”
“No pull ups today,” He said, “I’ll pay ‘tention to the bathroom sched’le.”
He doesn't need pull ups the way some little boys to, where they just can’t control themselves. Sometimes James is just too wrapped up in what he’s doing and he doesn’t notice that he has to go until it’s too late. The first few times it happened were so embarrassing, he thought Daddy was gonna hate him for being messy and bad. Daddy helped calm him down and clean him up, though, and told him that some little boys have accidents and that’s okay. He even cleaned up the mess on the floor with magic!
“Alright, I trust you,” his daddy said and waved him off to the bathroom.
When James first started coming to his daddy’s house, his bathroom was clean and empty with just a few oils and soaps in the shower and a toothbrush and soap on the counter. Now, the counter is covered in berry toothpaste and a Sanrio toothbrush and a basket for his bath toys and no tear shampoo and under the counter is the little basket that holds his pull ups.
He did his business quickly, meticulously washing his hands with his special blueberry soap and drying his hands with his little ducky hand towel. When he walked out, Daddy was standing in the kitchen, digging through the cabinets.
“Alright, James, have you eaten tonight?”
“Uhm… hot dogs… but that was hours ago!” James said, thinking back on just how many hot dogs he ate…
“Well, I suppose a snack wouldn’t hurt.” Daddy said, though James knows he probably would have gotten a small snack no matter what. It’s on his chart.
His daddy sits him down at the table and hands him a plate with a nice green apple on it. James waits. Daddy looks at him confused.
“What are you waiting for? Eat your snack.” He said.
“Noooo!” James said, pushing his plate away. He couldn’t help smiling.
“What are you smiling about, little thing?” Daddy squinted his eyes at him, but he was smiling too.
“’s not right, Daddy!”
“It’s an apple! It’s fine, eat your fruit.”
“Noooo….”
His Daddy put his hands on his hips and looked down at him with a frown. “I know what you want. You want a special apple.”
“Yes, please!” James smiled, jumping up in his chair. He loved special apples.
“Hmmm. Should I?” Loki mused, crossing his arms. “Too many special apples might make you spoiled…”
“Not spoiled!” James cried. “I’m jus’ special!”
“I suppose you are…” Daddy sighed. “A special apple it is then.”
Daddy gestured toward the apple so James would look. With a wave of his hands, the apple had been split into slices, another wave and the skins were cut to look like little bunnies. Finally, his daddy snapped and the green of the skin changed to a shiny gold.
“There. Are you happy, my special boy?” Daddy smiled down at him. They did this every time.
“Thank you, Daddy!” He beamed, and started in on his apple slices.
His daddy hummed and turned away, going to pick up around the kitchen and silently turning on his music player, quiet Disney songs starting to play through their space. It brings together their space, giving a nice familiar background noise. There was something to occupy every one of Jame’s senses, the smell of blueberries on his hands, the taste and feeling of his special apple, the sound of the music, the sight of all of his things mixed in with Daddy’s. It kept him grounded.
Daddy sat across from him on the table, and looked at him seriously as he ate. James know why he was looking at him, and he wasn’t looking forward to it. He slowed down his chewing, more just sucking on the apple in his mouth for a little bit.
“Do you know what’s next on out schedule, darling boy?” He asked.
James swallowed and looked up at his daddy. “Uhm...TV time?”
“No, James.” Daddy shook his head. “Do we need to go look at the chart?”
“No…” Jame whined, shoving another apple slice in his mouth. “it’s talking time.”
“What a smart boy I have.” his daddy reached across the table to smooth a hand over his hair. “Now, dos my smart boy have anything to talk to me about?”
James knew he could blow off the question- that he can choose not to talk about what happened and Daddy will respect that and move on with their day. He knew this, but he sighed anyway, not able to bring himself to. He didn’t want to see that look in his eyes,that says daddy knows he’s avoiding something.
“I… I got real mad earlier….” He started, unsure of how much to say.
“What happened, baby?”
“I was with Stevie and we were having fun and- and someone ran up to us.” James frowned, crossing his arms and popping the last of his apples into his mouth. It gives him few seconds to think back on the moment and stew for a second. “We were just… we were just eating and talking and the man got so close to us and was taking pict’res and yelling at us and I just… I got so mad.”
“And what did you do about it, James?” Daddy asked, though he already knew what happened.
“I hit him…” He said quietly.
Daddy nodded but didn’t respond for a second, letting that answer settle around them for a moment.
“James,” his daddy starts and James flinches. Daddy softens his face, reaching out to hold James’ hand. “I would never be mad at you for standing up for yourself. That man must have been very mean and very annoying.”
“So I’m not in trouble?” He asked.
“Not here, you’re not. Never here.” His daddy says, standing to hold him. “But I can’t control how the people outside feel. You might be punished for this, baby.”
“But… he was mean.”
“Many people are, but mean people don’t always get punished. Some times the good people get in trouble instead.”
“I know, baby.”
His daddy held him for a long moment.
“Let’s clean your little fingers, James.” He said finally, “Get you ready to go play for a bit.”
“can you play with me, daddy?”
“Of course, baby.”
James stood to clean his hands and then ran to his room, gathering the toys he would need. He had a whole line of dolls from Monster High: Scaris: City of Frights to use and he grabbed every one of them. He hauled his dolls into the living room, almost tripping a few times on his way.
“What game are we playing today, darling?” Daddy asked, sitting back on the floor in front of the couch. “Movies or Organizing?”
“Scaris!” James beamed, putting his dolls down one by one in front of the TV. ”Can you turn the movie on?”
“of course, James.”
His daddy clicked the TV on and with a snap of his fingers, their DVD player was whirring and the beginning of his second favorite movie was starting. Now came James’ favorite part!
As soon as characters started showing up on screen, James grabbed for his dolls, setting them up in the same positions as they were on screen. He barely had to look up to mime their words and actions with his dolls, having seen the move so many times.
When he ran out of hands for all the dolls on screen, Daddy smoothly slid beside him, holding Clawdeen and miming her words for him. It was one of his favorite things to do with his dolls, recreating the movies with Daddy.
He giggles along to every joke, gets ahead of himself on his favorite lines, and squeals when his daddy makes his dolls move by themselves. If he didn’t know the movies whole script by heart, he would be surprised when the movie ended, but he was disappointed all the same.
“Again?” he asked, looking up at his daddy.
His daddy didn’t answer, just snapped his fingers and the movie restarted.
He loved his daddy.