Chapter Text
Marinette felt about as tall as a mouse in an alarmingly large hole underneath her boyfriend’s house. The walls of the underground greenhouse (She wasn’t exactly sure what to call it, but that sounded much better than ‘Emilie’s crypt’) seemed to stretch and grow as she scanned the waters below for any sign of the brooch. There was a logical part of her that knew she should retrieve the Miraculous Gabriel had left on the ground, that it would be much easier to search for the butterfly if she transformed, but she allowed herself to ignore it. What was the point? Did she want to hear what Tikki and Plagg would have to say? Could she handle facing them after such a complete failure? She wasn’t sure she could face anyone.
Paris loved their Ladybug, placed her up on a pedestal and looked to her in their most dire moments. They expected her to protect them, always. They had faith in her when she lost nearly every miraculous in her possession because she couldn’t tell the boy she was in love with apart from his cousin. She wondered what her fellow citizens would think if they knew she possessed those miraculous in the first place because she got distracted by seeing that same boy on a date with another girl and led Hawkmoth straight to the rightful guardian. Did they even realize that Chloe Bourgeois only got her hands on the bee miraculous because Ladybug lost it? They certainly didn’t know she’d lost her own miraculous, the very one Hawkmoth (At the time) coveted, in an entirely different country.
Tikki was always quick to reassure Marinette when she entered one of her doomsday spirals. ‘I’m the bringer of disaster!’ the heroine would wail. ‘Stop being so dramatic, everyone makes mistakes.’ Tikki would chirp in that adorable voice of hers. Then when the teen finally started hearing her kwami, she’d affirm that Marinette was the best Ladybug she’d ever had. Tikki said it often enough that Marinette had almost started to believe it, but now that she knew the truth about the kwamis? That Tikki had access to countless dimensions and versions of herself that undoubtedly made fewer mistakes? Those couldn’t be more than kind words to quell her anxieties.
Chat Noir handled Ladybug’s meltdowns similarly; always encouraging her. But Chat Noir wasn’t here. In fact, she had no idea where he was. She didn’t know who he was. She had refused Su Han’s demands for someone to know his identity because she thought they’d be safer from Monarch that way. Where did that get her? Facing Monarch alone, her identity revealed, Chat Noir nowhere to be found, and losing everything. Worse, there were two people who did know his identity, but they'd fled to protect it and she hadn't had time to consider trying to find either of them.
She was surprised to still be standing in the same spot when Gabriel vanished. Marinette assumed she would feel some sort of shift when the world was rewritten. Maybe she had, but she couldn’t remember it. The most terrifying part of it all, was that she had no idea what he had wished for. Whatever it was, it wasn’t what he had originally intended, or Emilie’s lifeless body wouldn’t be haunting her from the cryo-chamber across the room. It occurred to her, then, that perhaps Emilie’s body wasn’t so lifeless. She wiped away tears she’d barely registered shedding and stepped one foot towards the body to check when she heard startled footsteps from above. Marinette whipped her head towards the sound and watched as a few bits of flooring fell to the walkway with gentle clacks.
“Who’s there?” She called up, “Nathalie?”. She waited, but there was no response. With a sigh, she walked forward to finally gather the other miraculous. She shoved the rings in her pocket and put a familiar pair of earrings back in her ears.
“Marine-” The bug started and was promptly cut off by her chosen calling her transformation.
Ladybug swung her yoyo up through the hole and began to look around the Agreste manor for any sign of who or what had made the noise. When she found nothing out of the ordinary, the spotted hero went to look for Nathalie instead; perhaps she would have a better idea what Gabriel might’ve wished for and even if she didn’t, she could likely point Marinette in the direction of the missing kwamis and their original miraculous’.
Ladybug was shocked to find Gabriel’s assistant, who’d been bedridden earlier that day, standing on her own legs with no help from mobility devices and practically glowing. “He made the wish, didn’t he?” She asked. Ladybug only nodded in response.
It was strangely comforting for Ladybug to have Nathalie with her as she reunited with the stolen Kwamis, confirmed that Emilie Agreste did not have a pulse, and transformed into aquabug to look for the missing brooch. It was Nathalie who finally suggested it was lost to the sewers and convinced Ladybug to give up the search. She hoped the brooch might resurface when she called the cure, but she had no such luck.
—
It wasn’t until hours after she left the Agreste mansion, hours of crying, overthinking, and all but tearing out her own hair that Marinette began mustering up the courage to detransform and face her kwami. Would she be disappointed? Angry? Surely she’d want a new holder. Perhaps she’d even ask that Marinette surrender the miracle box and her memories along with it. She couldn’t be trusted anymore, not when she’d practically handed Monarch the victory. Why had she even done it? Was she just that naive? Did she just have that big of a heart, that she thought he could make the right decision for once? He had, in a way, hadn’t he? He didn’t wish for his wife back or for Adrien and Kagami to become some power couple. Instead, he’d wished his own life away in exchange for Nathalie’s. At least, that’s what it seemed like. She couldn’t know for sure. Would Plagg and Tikki know what he wished for?
If she was being honest with herself, meeting Betterfly had given her hope for him. If she was really being honest with herself, she had wanted him to do better for Adrien. Adrien. Her heart ached as she thought of how sad he must be in London, of how he’d react if he knew the truth about his family, how he will react when he learns that his father is- no. She was spiraling again and that was not what she was supposed to be doing. She was supposed to be finally convincing herself to detransform.
“Spots off!” She shouted in a rush, forcing the words out before hiding her face in her knees. She huddled up next to her stuffed cat for comfort.
Within seconds, she felt Tikki’s little hot dog arms against the side of her knee; a warm and much needed embrace, albeit tiny. A gentle hug wasn’t what Marinette expected, but it was certainly welcomed. She sniffled, “I’m so sorry, Tikki.”
“I’m just glad you’re okay, Marinette. We were so worried about you!” Somehow Tikki always knew what to say. She had the same inexplicable gift for words as Chat Noir. Marinette wondered if she might’ve convinced Gabriel not to make the wish if she’d possessed that gift-if Chat Noir could have, if he had been there.
The tears were flowing again. She didn’t know how long they stayed like that before she finally remembered that Tikki needed to eat. The red kwami happily accepted the cookie her holder pulled out of her purse.
“Where’s Plagg?” She asked, after finishing her snack.
Marinette sighed and slipped the ring onto her finger. To her surprise, Plagg slammed into her cheek, hugging her more fiercely than Tikki had. Though, he said nothing.
It was the kwami of creation who broached the subject of their GamePlan. “What are your next steps, Marinette?”
“I don’t know… Nathalie said Adrien is staying with his aunt tonight and will fly home tomorrow morning. She wants us to explain the situation to him together, but we haven’t discussed what we’re going to tell him.”
“So, you’re not planning to tell him the truth?” She asked.
“Do you think I should? If I tell him his father was Monarch, then he’ll want to know why and if I tell him why then he’ll know he’s a sentibeing and his mother got sick because she used a broken miraculous to have him and he’ll blame himself for both of his parents' deaths!” The words came out in a rush; tumbling over each other. Marinette felt her eyes straining, ready to cry again, but she’d already cried out all of her tears. She needed to drink some water.
Plaggs' expression darkened. “You can’t tell him that. And you certainly can’t tell the public. If they find out about Gabriel, they’ll know Nathalie is Mayura and they’ll want her behind bars. Adrien will have no one left.”
Marinette was thankful that Adrien’s well being seemed to be as much a priority for Plagg as it was for her, but she still didn’t know what to do. She needed help; she needed her partner. Her lip quivered, “Where is Chat Noir? Do you think he’d be able to come meet me now?”
Plaggs green eyes bore into her. “You can’t tell him either.”
Her brows furrowed. “What?”
“Plagg is right, Marinette.” Tikki’s gentle voice agreed.
Marinette shook her head. “But why? He’s my partner. I need him. All of this is too much!”
Plagg wouldn’t look at her anymore. Tikki stared at her chosen for a moment, carefully considering her words.
She spoke slowly, “You can’t risk telling him your identity until the butterfly miraculous is found. Do you think you can explain all of this in a way that will make sense to him without revealing your identity?”
“Shouldn’t I just tell him everything? I’m tired of all these secrets.” Doesn’t he deserve to know his partner is an utter failure? That she’s just a normal girl who was way in over her head and never should’ve been given a miraculous? That our greatest enemy won and it's all my fault?
His kwmi didn't seem to think so. “Trust me, pigtails, it’s better if you tell everyone the same version of the story.”
The teen chewed nervously at the inside of her cheek. “I need to talk to Master Su Han.”
At Tikki and Plagg’s behest, Marinette resigned to tell everyone that Monarch was defeated and Gabriel Agreste gave his life to help take him down. Technically, it was true… this version of events just omitted a lot of highly relevant information-that certainly wouldn’t come back to bite her in the ass later.
—
Marinette had mixed emotions about Gabriel being revered as a hero. On one hand, the man everyone now thought he was, was exactly the type of man Adrien deserved to have as a father. Not to mention, it protected Adrien’s public image. Media figures and paparazzi hadn’t left him alone since he was born, but at least the attention was mostly positive. Marinette didn’t want to imagine the onslaught of hate and unfair judgements that’d befall her boyfriend if they knew he was Monarch’s son or that Mayura was his acting guardian. That’s not even considering how it would impact all of the people who worked for his company when their image was tanked.
On the other hand, the view of the giant Gabriel-statue-of-guilt right outside her window was tearing her apart. The man had been a terrible father to Adrien as far as she could tell, had terrorized the city for months, had gone mad with power in his pursuit to cheat death, and after everything he had won.
Ladybug was no better, she’d all but willfully handed the miraculous’ to him, and the city was singing her just as many praises. They didn’t know she was a failure and a liar. She was still contemplating finding a new holder for her earrings, but she had alleviated some of her concerns about her own incompetence by entrusting the other miraculous to their holders full time.
Thankfully she and Su Han had been able to reforge the connection between the Kwamis and their miraculous’. She wasn’t sure what the hero team would look like if she’d failed at that, too.
Adrien seemed to be taking the news of his fathers’ passing well. A little too well, in fact. Marinette was convinced he announced the pool party in his fathers’ honor just to get her to stop asking how he was handling it. To his credit, it worked. Sure, she was certain he wasn’t telling her everything, but there was plenty she wasn’t telling him, too.
So, despite everything, she resolved to enjoy this party with her boyfriend and their friends. Watching his dramatic rendition of “For the First Time in Forever” while she and Nathalie helped him set up was enough to loosen the knot that had been growing in her stomach. And when she caught sight of his genuine smile after he made her laugh? She felt like maybe they would be okay. (Even if Elsa’s part of the song was a bit too close for comfort.)
Part of enjoying the party included avoiding being left alone with Alya at all costs, which she mostly managed to do by being attached to Adrien’s hip. The ever-inquisitive Ladyblogger expected her best friend to fill her in on all the juicy details of the battle with her arch-nemesis, but Marinette’s lips were sealed. Marinette narrowly avoided her best friend when Nino whisked Adrien away to plan a future boys’ night. When she spotted Alya beelining towards her, Marinette made a quick escape to the bathroom. Luckily, by the time she rejoined the party, Alya was playing chicken with their classmates. Marinette felt a wave of relief wash over her, temporarily off the hook.
That was, of course, until Kagami and Felix cornered her by the snack table. Their tense expressions made her smile waver and her heart plummet into her stomach.
“Marinette,” Kagami folded her arms with a frown, “What is going on?”
Felix shook his head. “I can understand not wanting the world to know the truth about my uncle, but did you have to make him a martyr?”
Marinette let out a long sigh. “How else was I supposed to explain his death? He used the Alliance rings to mind control a vast majority of the population; they already knew he was involved somehow, and he conveniently disappears along with Monarch?”
Kagami glowered back, “That’s no excuse to lie to Adrien.”
Felix glared right through her. “My cousin deserves to know that man was more akin to a steaming pile of shit than a hero.”
“And why is that my responsibility?” Marinette had to fight the urge to yell, “How long have you known the truth and kept it from everyone, including your dear cousin?” Not to mention that Nathalie could’ve told him just as easily.
Felix frowned, “I didn’t want him to go trying to play hero only for Gabriel to command him to stand down.”
“What about now?” She retorted, “You’ve come to confront me about keeping the truth from him, but you could easily go tell him yourself. Gabriel’s gone, Adrien has the rings, and I’m not stopping you.”
The trio all stopped to look at Adrien, sitting on the edge of the pool and happily kicking his feet in the water. He caught them staring and waved with a warm smile.
Felix deflated like a balloon. “Now’s not a good time.. He looks so happy. I haven’t seen him like that since his mother was alive.”
Kagami placed a comforting hand on her boyfriend's shoulder, “There will never be a good time, but someone needs to tell him.”
Marinette bit her lip. “Are we sure it’s worth it?”
The blond’s eyes lifted from the ground to meet hers. Then he glanced at his girlfriend.
“I’d want to know. I’d be devastated if I found out you’d kept it from me.” Kagami reasoned.
“Would he really find out, though? And wouldn’t he be devastated to learn the truth, anyway? They did all of this for him .” Marinette countered.
Felix shook his head. “He doesn’t need to know that part.”
“What?” Kagami retracted her hand.
“He just needs to know that Gabriel was Monarch and he wanted to bring Emilie back, but he healed Nathalie instead,” He explained, “He doesn’t need to know the rest.”
Kagami placed a hand on her hip and gave her boyfriend a hard stare. “He doesn’t need to know that it was never his fault that he couldn’t disobey his father? He doesn’t need to know how important it is that he looks after his fathers’ rings?”
Felix glared back. “He doesn’t need to know that if he’d never been born his mother would still be alive and Monarch never would have terrorized Paris.”
Marinette began to shake, clenching her fists as if that would keep the tears from streaming down her face, “Don’t you guys think he deserves to just be happy and free after years of being neglected and micromanaged?”
With a frown Kagami looked back at where Adrien had been sitting, only he wasn’t there anymore.
Marinette jumped and let out a squeak when he wrapped an arm around her.
His eyes widened, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to sneak up on you.”
She waved her hands a bit too frantically in front of her, “Oh don’t worry you didn’t, and youdefinitelyweren’tintrudingonaconversationwedidn’twantyoutohearbecauseobviouslythere’snothingforustobekeepingfromyoubecauseeverythingiswonderfulandyou’rewonderfulanddeservetofeelwo-”
“Marinette,” He cut her off with a smile that let her know she’d been speaking too fast for him to catch the words that had just left her mouth, “Breathe.”
She nodded and took a deep breath, thankful both for the reminder and for her boyfriends’ obliviousness.
“We were just talking about how this is the most fun we’ve ever had at a party.” Felix interjected.
“Really?” Adrien’s face lit up like a Christmas tree, “Me too!”