Chapter Text
-Is it really that hard to follow simple instructions?- Gale asked, exasperated, painfully grabbing his bleeding arm as he pressed his back against the cragged, wet rock of the cave.
-Is it really that hard to shut up for once?- Astarion snapped at him in an angry whisper, his hands fumbling inside his bag looking for something.
Gale took a peek behind the rock, at least a dozen giant spiders were scuttling through the cave looking for them, their disgusting hairy legs sticking to every surface. He let out a painful grunt as he sat back down, still furious that one of them had managed to bite him before he could react.
-I told you how many times that one arrow wouldn’t be enough to take down a spider of that size? But you just have to do things your way, don’t you?-
-For the love of… will you shut up? Those things aren’t deaf and if they hear us we’re toast! Besides, it was a fire arrow, it should have worked. How was I supposed to know there was a whole colony down there?-
Astarion finally found what he was looking for, a small bottle of antidote he carefully poured over the wound.
Gale yelped in pain, Astarion quickly covered his mouth with his free hand but it was too late, they heard the shriek of the spider Queen as a dozen giant spiders surrounded them.
-Fuck! Shit! Fuck!- Astarion cursed as he desperately tried to hit them with his arrows, but the things proved themselves too nimble as they ran through the webbed surface of the cave as easily as gliding on ice making almost all of his shots miss their target.
In a moment, they were on them, surrounding them from every angle. Gale wasn’t too fond of spiders, back in Waterdeep, he’d always get Tara to hunt any furry stragglers that made their home in his library and now he was about to become a tasty meal for a legion of their giant brethren.
How the tables had turned…
Astarion was short of breath, desperately trying to think of something. They were too close for his explosives, too nimble for his arrows and completely immune to his lovingly stolen collection of poisons. He was out of ideas and certainly running out of time.
A gigantic blue striped spider hissed at them, raising it's legs in the air, fangs dripping with a poison so lethal it could melt stone.
Astarion braced himself, daggers tightly clenched in his fists when Gale suddenly grabbed his cape and pulled it down, forcing him to fall.
Before he could complain, he saw Gale’s eyes glow in the darkness, his hand raised right in front of the creature.
-Ardere!- he yelled and his voice echoed through the cave, in a moment, a huge burst of fire exploded from the palms of his hands, bright enough to make the dark musty place illuminated as if by daylight.
The creature was instantly cinched to a cinder, a horrific shriek came out of it's smoking carcass before it fell to the ground. The other spiders ran away terrified, struggling to flee as the fire began to burn away the webs that covered every inch of the walls. Creatures screaming in a panic as their eggs burst from the heat and the half eaten skeletons of previous meals dropped noisily from their cocoons to shatter on the rock below.
This was it, their one chance to escape but just as Gale began to run towards the entrance of the well, he saw the elf set his eyes on something that made him turn in the opposite direction.
-Astarion!- he yelled but it was too late, the rogue was already dashing deeper into the darkness.
Gale looked at the entrance, the dim sunlight peeking from above, freedom so close he could almost taste it, he grunted annoyed and ran to follow his reckless companion.
Astarion was running so fast he almost couldn’t see him, Gale struggled to find his way without stumbling, hurting his legs and feet on the sharp rocks as dark as midnight that perfectly concealed themselves from his eyes. Damn elves and their dark vision…
-Wait! Come back here you fool!- he yelled pointlessly just as one of the newly hatched, but still gigantic spiders tried to jump on his back. Gale managed to push it away before it could bite him, it’s leaking jaws hungry for fresh meat.
-Ignis!- he yelled, and the creature burst into a burning agony.
He turned around, only to see Astarion had finally stopped running and was now busy looting one of the many, many skeletons that decorated the cave's floor.
-Elminsters beard what are you doing? Let’s get out of here!- he struggled to say as he tried to catch his breath.
Astarion nodded, he looked satisfied, but before Gale could ask for the source of that satisfaction, he felt his fingers around his shoulder.
-wait- the elf whispered and he felt he hadn’t been this tempted to punch someone in the face in quite a while.
-Do you feel that?- he asked
-Feel what? My patience running thin?-
-No, the air. There’s a breeze-
-So?-
-it’s not coming from the well, it’s coming from deep within the ground-
-It’s probably just a tunnel, now can we please get out of here?-
Astarion took off his glove to lick his finger, trying to determine the source, that smell he couldn’t recognize, unlike anything he had felt on the surface. The two walked up to the edge of a precipice, Gale gasped, grabbing the elf’s arm tightly to keep him from falling.
-Careful!- he cautioned -That’s a long way down-
Right below their feet the earth seemed to open as if swallowed by itself, a giant chasm that seemed a mile deep plummeted in the darkness towards… something. Something that glowed blue and pink and orange and purple, something shimmering and captivatingly beautiful.
-Gods… a passage to the Underdark? Here?-
-Well well well- Astarion sneered -not a waste of time after all, huh?-
-Oh yes you’re just a paragon of wisdom. Now can we please get out of here?-
But there was no time to answer, Astarion jumped on him, forcing him to the ground. Gale had no time to understand what was happening until he saw it, a giant spider had tried to approach them in the darkness as they talked. The creature hissed, its hairy legs wiggling uselessly in the air as the elf stabbed it with his dagger over and over with a viciousness that made the wizard's stomach turn.
Astarion got up, his robes dripping with the blood and innards of the creature, his beautiful face splattered red.
-Yes- he said out of breath -Let us leave this place-
Gale couldn’t remember the last time he had felt this happy to see sunlight, but that happiness didn’t last long, wasting no time in letting Astarion know the danger he had just put them in for no good reason.
Their bickering continued back in camp, to the exhaustion of everyone.
Apparently the item Astarion had chosen over their safe escape was nothing but a large amethyst.
-Treasure? You decided to put our lives on the line over some stupid treasure that won’t garner more than a few dozen gold?- he asked, annoyed, still picking spiderwebs out of his robes.
-Ugh, do you really think so little of me? This is no ordinary stone, it’s an amethyst key, the only thing that can open the Necromancy of Thay- Astarion responded, a smile curled on his lips as he stared into the facets of the stone, shining with a soft purple light against the glow of their firecamp.
-I thought you of all people would appreciate going to these efforts in the name of literature-
Gale rolled his eyes, unimpressed
-That is it that is the last time I’m following your stupid, reckless plans- he snapped, half tempted to grab that stone and shatter it against the rocks.
-I never asked you to follow me, you self important prick!- Astarion was quick to defend, he must have somehow read his mind, because he carefully put the stone away in his clothes.
-I only did it because I knew you’d get yourself killed if you went down that well alone. By the love of Mystra you should be thanking me for saving your behind not hurling more insults at me-
-I found the amethyst key and I found us a safe passageway into the Underdark; you should be thanking me-
-Thank you for what? For putting us both in danger? For being completely incapable of listening to orders?-
The elf’s expression soured, as it always did whenever he didn’t feel completely free.
-You do not order me around, wizard-
-Oh yes, please, keep defending your precious independence. Perhaps next time it will get us trapped in a nest of snakes instead-
At this point, the rest of camp decided to intervene.
-I think we can all agree that the passage you found in the cave will be rather useful for all of us, Astarion- Wyll explained -But I see Gales point too; there’s no wisdom in recklessness. Even a mighty wyrm knows when to bide their time and retreat if the danger is too high-
Astarion hated when Wyll was right, which unfortunately was often. He could do nothing but sigh and nod his head in acknowledgment.
-Well said, Wyll! Now, you two hug it out and let’s call it a night- Karlach said, using all of her mighty strength to try to force Gale and Astarion into a hug.
The two recoiled disgusted, trying to keep distance, wrestling the other away but Karlach was simply too strong, she easily pushed their chests together.
-Go on. Hug it out-
Gale was being crushed so badly he could barely breathe let alone hug someone. He awkwardly wrapped his arms around the elf’s shoulders and patted his back a couple times which seemed enough to satisfy the tiefling.
-Aww, see? All better- she said happily, finally letting go of the two -now let’s get some grub and go to bed. We have a long day of spelunking tomorrow-
After that day, there was an unspoken animosity between the two. They stopped talking, they refused to fight together and avoided spending time with each other whenever possible.
This went on even as they ventured into the Underdark. They didn’t speak to each other at the colony of myconids they found down there, the forest of sussur trees or the wizards tower.
After more than a week below the surface, things inevitably got complicated.
The group managed to save that pompous drow Nere from a well deserved death, the vial of explosive powder they salvaged did the trick in destroying the wall of fallen rocks that was keeping him trapped down there.
As desperate as they were to be rid of him, the drow insisted on staying at camp with them that night. They reluctantly agreed.
Gale offered him some of the stew he had been heating over the fire, even the bread he had managed to bake in a makeshift oven down in the boiling hot mines.
Shadowheart tended to his wounds while Lae’Zel observed him carefully, sword at the ready, in case he stepped out of line.
He wasn’t grateful for any of it, his mouth run dry insulting their humble dwelling, he complained the meat was over salted and the bread undercooked and took his time criticising Shadowheart’s healing techniques.
-Then again, don’t know why I expected finesse from a half elf- he sneered, making Shadowheart more than a little tempted to throw his sorry ass into the lava pits.
They were all happy when it was time to go to bed, as Nere had promised he’d be gone after some rest, tomorrow he’d show them out of the Underdark, through a passage only he knew that would get them to Moonrise towers in an instant.
As the others slept, Astarion observed him quietly.
He was handsome, in a way that was hard not to stop and stare at. Even in this dark drow form, he still had that royal, elven beauty he was particularly fond of, one which reminded him of home.
Astarion felt tempted to get closer to him, a temptation he probably wouldn’t have felt otherwise. But it had been some precious months since his illithid kidnapping and with the threat of Cazador still loomed over his head like the sword of Damocles, he felt an immediate attraction to anyone he felt was strong or powerful enough to keep him safe and sought to seal his alliances in the only way he knew how.
Besides, after months trekking up and down the sword coast, he had grown rather bored of the meagre pleasures of his right hand.
He sat closer to him, smiling without showing his fangs.
-Hello, dear. I say, it’s nice to have someone in camp who doesn’t require sleep either. The nights can get quite lonely in our humble camp-
-I don’t remember calling your name, elf- he said with a voice full of disdain that Astarion decided to ignore, his eyes instead taking a peek inside his night robes, noticing his strong, chiselled chest.
He sat next to him, combing his curls back with the back of his hand, his centuries of trained charms coming back to him with ease as he showed him his most enchanting smile.
-That’s right, we haven’t introduced each other properly, have we? The name’s Astarion, truly a pleasure-
The drow looked at him for a moment before returning his attention to the fire.
-Astarion… it seems the Absolute chooses just about anyone these days to speak in her name-
-Tell me about it. Those wretched goblins and hobgoblins really lack some brains, can’t say the tadpole occupying that already tight space will do them much good- He responded, choosing to ignore his backhanded insult.
To his surprise, Nere seemed to find his little jab amusing, letting out a musical chuckle.
-I cannot say I do not agree-
Astarion incorporated himself, serving him a cup of wine the drow was happy to accept.
-Say, how long were you trapped in there with those nasty gnomes? Must have been a horrible experience-
-Two days, I believe-
Astarion let out a well rehearsed gasp of horror.
-Two days? My, you must have felt truly hopeless-
-Of course not. My faith in the Absolute never faltered. I knew she would never allow for a powerful ally such as me to be felled in that manner-
-Of course, of course… still, not the best way to spend 48 hours-
-Certainly not-
-And it must have been so dreadfully dull, to sit in such lowly company awaiting rescue-
-It did become challenging to keep the mind occupied, but I held strong-
-You certainly did… then again, i'm not surprised to hear a strong soldier like you was able to endure such a test-
Nere smiled to himself as he pondered those words.
-Yes I… I suppose you’re right. This was a test from the Absolute, one to test my devotion to her, it must have been-
-And you passed with flying colors… how deliciously impressive-
-You didn’t impress me at first, elf. But I must admit, there’s more to you than meets the eye. Your devotion to the Absolute will surely be rewarded, same as mine was-
-You flatter me, dear. But returning to the subject of boredom, I was thinking…-
Nere arched his brow, instinctively recoiling when the surface elf started playing teasingly with the laces of his nightshirt.
-Perhaps we could find our own entertainment, my sweet?-
Nere paused, looking him up and down for a quick moment with a look of disdain while Astarion poured more wine into his cup.
-In my humble experience, I’ve found that a brush with death is enough to get anyone in the mood for a night of passion. If that's something you want, of course-
It was a risky move, Nere could very easily kill him for even approaching him but he was trying to be cunning, he imagined Nere has been travelling with nothing but goblins and duergar for months now. Perhaps Astarions red eyes and white hair reminded him of home just enough to keep him close for the night.
-I’m listening. What is it that you offer?- Nere responded, finally taking the bait.
-Well, if you’d like to scurry away from camp and find a secluded spot I will be happy to join you. Somewhere where we may enjoy eachothers company a little more intimately, perhaps?-
The drow downed the rest of his wine, getting back up on his feet.
-Yes. Come, I know of a place- he said making Astarions smile grow brighter.
-My pleasure-
The drow took his hand, tightly squeezing his fingers, inviting him to follow as he ventured deep into the mine.
Darkness all around them, even his eyes could barely see anything in the inky blackness, he held on to his arm, his fingers taking the chance to feel the outline of his bicep. He felt enticed as they walked together, his mind racing with the things he could not wait to do to him, imagining those large purple hands feeling his body as they sank into each other with delicious abandon. Gods, it had been too long since he had last felt like this…
They stopped at a small cavern, the only light the soft glimmer of glowing mushrooms, which tainted the inside a gentle, romantic orange.
-Seems like a perfect little spot. Knew I could trust you to know your way about in the darkness- he teased, getting closer to him, he tenderly kissed the drows lips, but, just as he tried to lose his hands in his long white hair, he felt Nere pushing him away in a rather violent way.
-Know your place- he barked. Astarion stumbled, taken by surprise by his sudden change in demeanor. He stood up proudly, pretending his attitude was normal as he fixed his shirt.
-Mh, like to play rough, then? I could be persuaded…-
But Nere did not seem impressed by his advances. He was holding his arm more strongly than he wished, harshly sinking his fingers as he pulled on him.
He grabbed his shoulders, forcing him to turn around before pushing his chest down. His knees buckled, forcing him on his knees as he pressed his body against his back
-W-wait! This is not what I…-
-Silence, wretched bloodsucker. You speak when spoken to-
Fear coursed through him in the darkness, in one swift movement, he felt Nere had placed a rope around his neck, which he proceeded to close around his throat. Making it impossible to speak, breathe or move.
-What, you think I couldn't tell you were a disgusting, lowly vampire? Think I’ve met many surface elves with red eyes and fangs?-
He tightened the rope around his neck, the air leaving his lungs as Astarion struggled.
-Back home we love killing surface elves like you, I would have had a wonderful time plucking your eyes out and slitting your throat in the name of Lolth. But we now both serve the Absolute and so I shall be generous and put you to good use-
Astarion tried uselessly to get some air into his lungs, the rocks digging painfully into his knees as he tried to get up and run.
-You will make a fine little slave. You will follow and obey, kill what I order you to kill and adhere only to my desires-
Nere let out a chuckle that sent a shiver of terror down his spine
-you’re thinking of your party of vagabonds and vagrants? Don’t worry, I shall go back to your camp after I’m done with you and slit the throats of those pathetic surface dwellers as they sleep. Starting with that half-elf-
Astarion trembled. Shadowheart… he needs to do something, warn them before it’s too late.
-You’re lucky I’m feeling merciful today. I shan’t kill you so long as you stay perfectly still like a good little whore- Nere said with a smile, pushing Astarions face against the ground, he could feel his body pressed against him, how the promise of violence and blood had made him hard, letting out a grunt of pleasure as he rubbed his erection against his thigh.
-Tonight I shall be your master and I shall find my pleasure in you. Now shut your fanged mouth and don’t make any more noises or else I’ll cut that curly head off your shoulders-
Astarion felt his heart racing, his head spinning, his most basic survival instincts kicking in as he remembered all the times he had his dignity stripped away for someone’s pleasure, his body used.
Rage, a blinding rage like infernal fire through his veins swept through him, that rush of adrenaline gave him the strength he needed to turn around, managing to hit Nere’s chest with his elbow using all of his strength, he hit him hard enough to make the drow stumble, which gave him just enough space to get the rope out of his neck.
All Nere heard was a quick snap before he felt the cold, sharp point of a rogues blade against his neck.
-Pity. I was looking forward to some fun, but you drows always need to make everything about power, don’t you?-
-You filthy slave, let me go this instant!-
-My name is Astarion. And I’m no longer anyone’s property-
He said, happy to sink the knife into his purple throat.
He made a disgusting choking noise as he died in his arms, his enraged eyes staring at him as they slowly stared at nothing more.
Astarion twirled the blade in his hand, excited by the task at hand.
Everyone at camp was awakened by the sight of Astarion stumbling in the darkness, his white shirt covered in blood.
-Astarion! Are you okay?- Karlach asked before the elf dropped something next to the fire
-Got a little souvenir for Spaw- he said exhausted and everyone in camp let out a horrified noise when they saw Nere’s head bleeding on the floor.
-What in the nine hells happened here?- Wyll said disgusted, trying to keep his naked feet away from the growing puddle of blood.
-Well that took care of the issue…- Shadowheart chuckled, clearly not too concerned.
-Tchk! What was the point of rescuing the drow if you planned to just kill him right after?- Lae’Zel grunted exasperated, also trying not to get his blood on herself.
The elf said nothing, he just turned and left.
-Wait, Astarion- he heard Gale's voice behind him. It was the first time he had heard him say his name in days.
He did not bother to answer.
Gale followed him still, not giving up on an explanation just yet.
-Enough with the interrogation, dear. I wish to be alone- Astarion said in an exhausted voice.
But something was wrong, deeply wrong. Gale saw him walk up to a small subterranean lake that gathered water from the cave systems next to a large sussur bark tree.
Gale gritted his teeth, he hated getting close to those sussur flowers, the feeling of getting his magic silenced felt… violating, but he pressed on, following him close.
-Please, Astarion. Just tell me what happened back there-
Astarion took off his bloodied shirt and dipped it in the icy cold water, using his hands to get every trace of the drow’s blood off his face.
-I don’t want to talk about it. I told you already. Just leave me alone, it’s been a long night-
-No! You bring a man’s bloodied head balled up in your fist and expect me to ask no further questions? What happened? What did Nere do to deserve such a fate?-
-He fully deserved it if that what you’re asking-
-Did he attack you?-
Astarion sighed annoyed, squeezing the bloodied water out of his shirt, which had become tainted pink. Why did he care? What did it matter to him?
-It’s a simple matter; he wanted to use my body so I decided to use his in turn- he answered bluntly. Gale blinked confused, not sure if he had heard correctly.
-Use? W-what do you…?-
Astarion turned, giving him a look that made him step back in fear, there was an almost primal rage in his eyes, one that made his ruby like irises shine bright red in the darkness.
-Quid pro quo, darling- he said with a voice that felt cold as ice -All acts meet their due consequence, and I’ve decided that if anyone ever tries to rape me again, I will rip their FUCKING head out of their shoulders. Are we understood?-
Gale’s lips trembled, his expression changing as he understood the true nature of the horror that Astarion had just been through.
The image of that disgusting bloody head flashed in his mind.
Nere…
That bastard…
He asked no further questions, leaving him to rest. He looked exhausted.
But even when he found himself safely back in camp, laying inside his tent, there was one word the elf had said that didn’t leave his mind.
It was the word “again”
Had Astarion been abused like this before? Had other men tried to have him against his will?
He didn’t know if he should feel bad for him, after all, he did just kill a man in cold blood and ripped out his head without a second thought.
But, then again; how would he react if someone attacked him like that? Wouldn’t he also defend himself, as fiercely as he could?
He had no right to judge his actions.
Astarion had no intention to rest or meditate that night. He just sat close to the fire, silently keeping watch as the others slept, staring into the fire until his eyes hurt, trying to stop his hands from trembling, trying not to cry.
Almost a slave again… he had gotten so close to becoming the very thing he had fought tooth and nail to escape, the one thing he feared more than ceromorphosis, the one thing he feared worse than death.
Gale saw him sitting by the fire, quietly, he sat down next to him, not asking any questions this time.
Astarion would never say it out loud, but he liked having some company. It made him feel a little safer.
-I’m glad that Nere got what he deserved-
Gale uttered in a careful tone.
-And I’m glad you were able to… defend yourself before he hurt you-
Astarion nodded, silently thanking him.
-Well it wouldn’t have made much of a difference. Even if he had gotten his way with me and dragged me all the way to moonrise towers on a leash it’s not like he would have been the first-
The bitterness in his voice was cutting, ruthless, but Gale only looked at him with sadness and understanding..
-The victims you sought for your master, did they… also use you like that?-
-Many did. Most didn’t even know they were using me. They thought I wanted them, that I couldn’t wait to feel their disgusting bodies on mine. But inside, I was screaming-
-Gods, that’s…-
-Horrible? Awful? Yeah, I know very well. Do you feel sorry for me now?- he asked in a tired, sarcastic voice
-Yes. I do- Gale responded with such complete honesty Astarion couldn’t respond. Dropping the sarcastic facade, he sighed.
-I can’t do it again, I can’t go back to that miserable life-
-You won’t-
-How do you know that? How can you be so sure?-
-Look around you. You have allies, friends. You’re not alone in this-
Astarion finally looked away from the fire to look into Gale’s eyes.
-Am I hallucinating or did you just call yourself my friend, wizard?-
Gale chuckled, shaking his head
-Well… I supposed I did-
The two smiled at each other, a quick acknowledgment that their fighting was now a thing of the past.
Gale did not sleep that night, he just sat there next to him, without saying a word, just sharing the warmth of his company.
-I can’t wait to leave the Underdark- Astarion uttered -I want to see sunshine again-