Chapter Text
The first time Alec sees Magnus shirtless, he’s too tired to properly enjoy it. His steps drag as he follows Magnus into his ensuite bathroom. Ariadne keeps pace with him, occasionally sniffing at his pants.
“Are you sure it’s okay for me to stay?” Alec asks as Magnus glances thoughtfully between his shower and bathtub.
Magnus turns to smile at him. “I’d love for you to stay. This isn’t the first time you’ve spent the night, and I wouldn’t make you walk back to the Institute like this.”
It goes without saying that Magnus is too tired to make a portal. Alec could ask Clary, but he would rather stay at Magnus’ loft. This thing between them is still new, but Magnus is feeling more and more like home: warm, safe, familiar.
“Okay. I’ll stay.” Alec ducks his head to hide his smile. Magnus’ bed is very quickly becoming one of his favorite places to sleep—mostly because it means sleeping by Magnus.
“We could take turns showering,” Magnus says slowly before glancing at the large bathtub again. “Or we could bathe together?”
Alec’s heart thuds a little faster in his chest, and he has to take a deep breath to stop scales from sprouting along his palms. He’s gotten better at managing that, thanks to Magnus’ magic lessons. He thinks how tired he is might actually be helping, especially if his Edomite magic is as drained as he is.
Still, the idea of bathing with Magnus makes him a little nervous.
“Forget it, just a suggestion. We won’t do anything you’re uncomfortable with,” Magnus says, reaching out to gently squeeze Alec’s arm, misreading hesitation for rejection. He’s getting better at muting his side of the bond, but Alec can still feel a trace of disappointment through it.
He reaches out to catch Magnus’ hand with his before Magnus can pull away. “It’s a good suggestion.”
Magnus raises his eyebrows, carefully scrutinizing Alec’s face. He’s searching for any sign of discomfort. It’s unnecessary, Alec isn’t fragile, but the care makes him smile.
“I want to,” he says with more emphasis. “I’m just a little…nervous.”
“If it’s too much—”
Alec shakes his head. The more he thinks about it, the better a bath with Magnus sounds. His muscles ache, and he longs to sink down into warm water and cuddle with his boyfriend. “It’s not. Maybe, uh…”
It takes him a moment to gather the nerves to ask, but Magnus waits patiently, face open and gentle. He never rushes Alec to speak or makes him feel bad about anything he says. It gives him the courage to ask, “Could we wear swim trunks or something? I’m just not sure I’m ready for…more.”
Magnus’ smile is so warm it’s as if Alec has just paid him a compliment rather than asked for an accommodation to avoid nudity. “Of course.”
He squeezes Alec’s palm before letting go. He starts the bathtub filling and then brushes past Alec into the bedroom. With Ariadne still at his heels, Alec follows Magnus to his closet. Magnus pulls open the top drawer of an old wooden dresser and begins rummaging through it. Ariadne sits at Alec’s feet, leaning her small body against his leg.
“Normally, I’d summon you something, but I’m a bit short on magic at the moment so we’ll have to make do with sharing my clothing. I do have a few options to choose from.” He holds up a pair of long blue swim trunks and then shorter black ones.
Alec can’t help but be relieved by how normal they look.
“What, no speedos?” Alec teases as he takes the black ones.
Magnus grins and pulls another swimsuit from the drawer. If the scrap of bright red fabric can even be called a swimsuit with how little it would cover. The sight of it hang limply from Magnus’ fingers is enough to make Alec blush.
“I certainly won’t complain if you’d profer something less restrictive,” Magnus says with a wink.
Alec rolls his eyes, doing his best to pretend his face isn’t the same shade as a ripe tomato. “Thanks, but they’re not exactly my style.”
Magnus heaves a dramatic sigh. “ Pity. Would you rather change in here or the bathroom?”
“I’ll change in the bathroom,” Alec says, quickly making his escape to hide his burning face. It feels wrong to kick Magnus out of his own bedroom anyway.
Ariadne barely makes it into the bathroom before Alec is closing it between them and Magnus. He lets out a long breath, trying to steady his nerves. He still wants to bathe with Magnus, but he’s too tired for all of the emotions it’s bringing up. He glances at the steadily-filling tub and starts tugging off ichor-stained clothes. He wants his cuddles. He wants a bath.
It isn’t until Alec has changed into the swim trunks and there’s a soft knock at the bathroom door that Alec realizes he has no idea what swimsuit Magnus chose. For the split second it takes him to open the door, he imagines Magnus has put on the scarlet scrap, and it’s nearly enough to send him to his knees.
The reality is less indecent. Magnus is wearing a pair of swim trunks much like Alec’s, except instead of black, they’re a light blue and patterned with sharks. Even so, Alec suddenly feels warm, flustered by the sheer amount of skin Magnus is showing. He looks away before he can stare. The tub is half full now, Ariadne curled up on the bathmat.
“How do you feel about bubbles?” Magnus asks, heading for the sink. “Or would you prefer a bath bomb?”
Alec can’t answer. He’d dared to glance at Magnus again, but Magnus is facing away from him now. His back is smooth and muscular, but Alec’s attention is caught on the large scar cut through the middle. The ragged edges make it look like the result of a magic blast.
“Alec?” Magnus asks, glancing over his shoulder.
“You have a scar.”
Magnus grimaces, and Alec instantly regrets his words. He has his own fair share of scars, he should know better than to mention them on others. Except, Alec doesn’t shy away from talking about his scars. He certainly doesn’t feel such a strong mix of fear, embarrassment, and loathing when they’re brought up. The onslaught of negativity coursing through the bond has him regretting ever opening his mouth. He should’ve ignored it, pretended not to notice.
Magnus straightens and turns to face Alec. If he’s trying to hide his scar, he’s doing a bad job of it. The mirror behind him allows Alec a clear view if he looks over Magnus’ shoulder.
“Ah, yes. Perhaps I should wear a swim shirt? Or I can glamour it, I know it’s not appealing—”
“No, it’s not that—I just, I thought warlocks don’t scar except from adamas or weapons forged with heavenly fire.”
“While it’s true we can usually heal our injuries, I received this one while in Edom. I didn’t have my full magic to call upon to heal myself so I had to do it the mundane way.”
“I’m sorry,” Alec says, glancing at the tub. “I don’t know what a bath bomb is, but we can use bubbles, if you want?”
The relief Alec feels through the bond is almost palpable. Magnus grabs a bottle of bubble bath from under the sink. Alec looks anywhere but at the scar now that he knows it makes Magnus uncomfortable. He crouches beside Ariadne, scratching between her ears.
Magnus adds a bit of the bubble mixture to the bath water and bubbles blossom across the surface. Alec reaches out to comb his fingers through them.
“You don’t need a swim shirt,” Alec says carefully. “I won’t look if you don’t want me to, but…you don’t have to be embarrassed about it or anything. I have my own scars.”
Sadness colors Magnus’ answering smile. “I suppose I’m just a little…self conscious about it.”
Alec nods. He understands being self conscious well enough. He shifts and gestures to the nearly full tub. “Should we…?”
“Absolutely.”
Alec gets into the tub, moving carefully so he doesn’t splash any water out. By the time he’s settled into the warm water, Magnus is sitting across from him. Alec sinks a little lower, letting out a soft sigh and resting his leg against Magnus’.
“This was a good idea.”
Magnus beams. “Most of my ideas are.”
Two weeks later, Alec is pressing Magnus against the wall, licking into his mouth, and reaching for the hem of his velvety shirt. It’s only when he tugs at Magnus’ top and the warlock freezes that Alec remembers the scar.
Magnus’ hands soften where before they’d been grasping at Alec, his mouth moving a little slower, more hesitant. The shock of self consciousness coupled with fear that strikes Alec’s stomach is the worst part. He knows those feelings aren’t his own.
Alec releases Magnus’ shirt to set his hand on Magnus’ waist, pulling away from the kiss to ask, “Can I give you a massage?”
Magnus blinks a few times, clearly surprised. His cheeks are faintly pink. “I thought you wanted to…take the next step, so to speak.”
Even the mention of it makes Alec flush. “I do, I mean, if you do too.” He’s pretty sure Magnus does based on the way Magnus had been all over him only seconds ago, but it can’t hurt to check.
He traces his thumb across Magnus’ hipbone over his shirt. The mark of Magnus’ soul bond is there, a counterpart to his own, a constant thrum at the back of his mind. “I want you to feel as comfortable, as safe, with me as I feel with you.”
“Alec, I—”
Alec cuts him off by stealing a quick kiss. “And I want to prove that I don’t care about your scar. I’m sorry you were hurt, but you don’t need to be embarrassed about the scar. It’s just proof that you’ve survived.”
Magnus watches him with unreadable brown eyes, face going soft. “I do feel comfortable with you, darling. I trust you.”
Alec knows it’s true, not just because Magnus wouldn’t lie to him, but because he can feel the sincerity in Magnus’ chest. Just like he’d felt his fear only seconds ago. “So you don’t want a massage?”
“It’s not the worst idea,” Magnus murmurs, lifting onto his tiptoes to kiss Alec again, soft and quick. “But are you sure you don’t want me to massage you?”
The idea of Magnus’ hands all over him, rubbing tension out of his muscles, makes Alec feel warm and tingly. It sounds a little intense. He might embarrass himself too quickly for more, for the things he really wants to do, if they start with that.
“I want to massage you, if you’re okay with that.” He feels oddly shy about the offer, but the way Magnus reacts is worth it. Excitement, trust, and joy fill the bond, a positive feedback loop lifting them higher together.
It isn’t until Alec has Magnus under him, lying face-down and shirtless on the bed, that Alec realizes the act of giving Magnus a massage might be as erotic as receiving one. It’s too late to back out now, though, with lotion on his hands and Magnus’ vicious scar in sight. Some hesitancy has crept back into the bond that Alec is eager to vanquish. He wants to do this for Magnus.
And, if he’s being entirely honest, he wants to do this for himself too. Magnus has a really nice back that Alec has to perch over his thighs to reach. It’s far from the worst position he’s ever found himself in.
He lowers his palms to Magnus’ back, starting at his shoulders, far enough above the scar that he won’t accidentally touch it.
“Is it sensitive?” Alec asks when his fingers drift downward, skirting the edge of the scar. His voice comes out soft and quiet in the relative darkness of the room. Magnus had opted to turn off the main light in favor of a nightstand lamp and some candles that smell like vanilla. It really sets the mood.
“I forget it’s there most of the time,” Magnus says, matching Alec’s volume.
“And the other times?”
“It’s sensitive to cold, which hasn’t been the most difficult thing since I’m not exactly a fan of ice baths. It aches sometimes, after certain nightmares when I remember how I got it.”
Alec’s thumb traces little patterns along the smooth skin surrounding the injury. Magnus’ skin is warm under his, soft and strong at the same time. “Did Asmodeus do this?”
“Lilith, actually.”
Alec waits, but Magnus doesn’t speak again. He hasn’t told Alec how he got the scar yet, and Alec’s not sure he wants to know. He’d happily send his full power, his Shadowhunter abilities and weapons and his Edomite dragon form, after anyone who hurt Magnus. Except, he already killed Lilith before he ever met Magnus. Now, he hopes it was as painful of a death as it seemed.
He opens his mouth to speak, but Magnus beats him to it, “Asmodeus sent me after her. He said if I killed her, he’d release me. That was before I learned about Edom’s inheritance laws. I’m lucky I failed.”
Alec had harbored no delusions about Asmodeus being a good parent, but everything he learns about him paints a darker picture. “Your father didn’t heal you? Didn’t he share the injury?”
Magnus turns his head so Alec can see half his face, resting his cheek against his pillow. There’s a dry smile on his lips. “It turns out greater demons can be quite fond of pain, especially if they can use it to hurt someone else.”
“I’m sorry,” Alec breathes, using his thumbs to work through a knot at Magnus’ lower back, just above the waistline of his pants. He leans down and brushes a soft kiss to the top of Magnus’ scar.
He hears the hitch in Magnus’ breath before the warlock is moving, rolling until he’s on his back, smiling up at Alec. “You are the last person who should apologize to me about that. You saved me, remember?”
His hand finds Alec’s cheek, cupping it, and Alec leans into the warmth. “You saved me too.”
“Sounds like a good relationship,” Magnus says.
Alec could argue that their relationship had the worst start of any he knows, but why would he? It’s far more pleasant to just lean down and press his lips to Magnus’. Their relationship is good now, anyhow, that’s more important.
Alec pulls back from kissing to ask, “Was the massage okay?”
He’s never given a massage before, certainly not the kind he’d given Magnus, but he hopes Magnus liked it. The bond feels better now, so mission accomplished.
Magnus grins and reaches for him, settling one hand on his arm, the other on his waist. Alec can feel the pressure through his shirt, but he longs to feel it on his skin. The hand on his arm slides down until it finds his, lifting it from the bed. Magnus brings Alec’s palm to his mouth and kisses his scar. “Alexander, are you asking me if I enjoyed having your hands all over me?”
Alec is close enough to see every spark of light in Magnus’ glamoured eyes, every bit of joy on his face. He’s gorgeous in his happiness.
“I have calluses and scars,” Alec says, distracted by how close and shirtless Magnus is.
“Careful, I’ll think you’re bragging.” Magnus turns his head and darts his tongue across the scar on Alec’s palm. Alec sucks in a breath, feeling suddenly faint. Magnus’ tongue is on his skin. It’s warm, soft, and wet. It’s gone far too soon.
“I’m not…” Alec trails off. He may have lost the ability to form rational coherent thought, but he’d made it further than he thought he would, considering the situation. He gives up on trying to finish his sentence in favor of kissing Magnus again. He wants to kiss Magnus forever.
Magnus’ smirks against his lips, and suddenly Alec is on his back, blinking up at Magnus. He’s not entirely sure how their positions flipped so fast or if magic was involved, but he’s certainly not going to complain. Magnus is hovering over him now, the mattress soft under his back.
“Hi,” Magnus murmurs against his lips.
Alec can’t help but grin. “Hi.”
He clings to Magnus’ arms, reveling in the feel of warm skin and strong muscles. Magnus so often hides them beneath clothing for reasons Alec can’t understand. Magnus should always be shirtless—at least when it’s just him and Alec. When he tries to say this, it comes out, “Shirts are dumb.”
Magnus snorts, ducking his head and chuckling against Alec’s shoulder, drawing a few quiet laughs from Alec as well. “You’re ever so eloquent, my darling.”
“Shut up,” Alec mutters. He kisses Magnus’ hair because it’s the only thing he can reach like this. He drags his hands higher, feeling out Magnus’ shoulders. “You look good without a shirt.”
Magnus laughs again, small and breathless and punctuated with a slow kiss that almost makes Alec forget the whole conversation. Until Magnus pulls back and says, “If shirts are so dumb, I think we should remove yours.”
Alec shakes his head at the comment, but reaches for his shirt. Magnus teasing him is no reason to ignore a good suggestion. He manages to get his shirt off when Magnus shifts back, allowing him to sit up enough to pull it over his head. As soon as it’s out of the way, Magnus’ hands are on him again, fingers dancing along his stomach like trails of electricity. Alec shivers under the touch, raising his chin to steal another kiss.
“You were right,” Magnus murmurs against his lips. “Shirtless is better.”
Waves of heat roll through Alec’s body, but he can’t tell which belong to him and which belong to Magnus. He stops trying to figure it out in favor of simply enjoying the sensations. He loosens his hold on his side of the bond, wanting to share some of his pleasure with Magnus.
There’s another scar across Magnus’ neck, smaller and thinner than the one on his back. Alec traces it with his lips. He doesn’t know what this one is from, but he’s glad Magnus survived it.
Magnus gasps and his eyes slam shut so quickly Alec worries he’s hurt him. “Magnus?”
“I’m—it’s nothing,” Magnus says, still not opening his eyes. Alec can feel that he’s lying. An undercurrent of putrid anxiety leaks through the bond.
Not knowing what he did wrong, but desperate to fix it, Alec cups Magnus’ face in his hands and kisses him softly. “Do you not want to?”
“No—I mean, yes. It’s just…sometimes I lose control,” Magnus admits with clear shame. His eyes open to reveal the golden cat eyes Alec adores.
“Magnus,” Alec breathes, pushing his awe through the bond. “They’re gorgeous. You’re gorgeous.”
“Alexander.”
“Do you know what I thought the first time I saw your eyes? I thought, ‘they look like home’. The color reminded me of my parabatai and spring sunshine.” Magnus’ eyes are wide and vulnerable so Alec kisses one of his eyebrows and continues, “I know you have your father’s eyes, and I can’t…I don’t know what that means to you, but for me, your eyes are just another part of you. And you’re gorgeous.”
“Darling, you are…” Magnus trails off, voice sweet and amazed. He cups Alec’s face as he kisses him again, soft and sweet.
Things slow down after that. The passion is still there, a drive for more, to be together, but it has a softer edge to it. It feels comfortable as Magnus tugs off Alec’s shirt. It feels warm as he’s pressed against Magnus’ bed. It feels safe as Magnus kisses him, necklaces trailing across his chest.
Alec doesn’t try to fight Magnus for control. Magnus knows more about this than him so he simply follows along, trying to take mental notes as they go. Magnus uses magic to get rid of Alec’s pants, but he’s caressing his hip and kissing down his neck so Alec barely notices. It’s only the feel of Magnus’ naked legs against his own that alerts him to the change.
Magnus’ teeth nick over his rune and it feels so good Alec lets out a startled moan. He has to do that to Magnus later to see if he likes it as much.
When Magnus pulls off Alec’s underwear, Alec’s heart is racing in his chest, but he’s not anxious at all. He couldn’t be more at ease.
The bond is a point of reassurance. Alec thinks he’d be more insecure without it telegraphing Magnus’ arousal and contentment. It’s comforting to know Magnus is enjoying this, even if Alec’s barely done anything for him.
“I waited for so long to be rescued from Edom,” Magnus says, thumb rubbing little circles over Alec’s bare hip. “I never expected to meet someone like you there.”
“A Shadowhunter-demon hybrid?”
Magnus nips at Alec’s abdomen, and it hurts, but in a way that makes Alec’s skin buzz pleasantly. “An angel.”
“I’m not—”
Magnus’ hand wrapping around him stops Alec’s words in his throat. How can he be expected to speak when Magnus is touching him so intimately?
“My angel,” Magnus murmurs before moving down, down, down.
Alec doesn’t last long. He thinks he should be embarrassed, but he’s too happy for it. It hardly seems to matter when Magnus is moaning above him.
“I swear I usually last longer,” Magnus says, and Alec’s orgasm-drunk brain realizes Magnus just came with him.
He shudders.
“The bond made it…intense,” Magnus muses, lying back beside Alec. Alec reaches for him, finding his hand and placing a kiss to his knuckles.
“Yeah, the bond.”
Magnus smiles, turning onto his side. “It’s been a long time since I got to do that, I’m glad it was with you.”
“I’m glad my first time doing that was with you,” Alec says, squeezing Magnus’ hand. Then he frowns. “But next time, I want to touch you.”
Magnus wiggles closer to kiss him. He tastes like toothpaste, not what Alec had been expecting. He’s almost certain magic was involved. “I won’t object to that.”
Alec cuddles into Magnus’ warmth, sleepy and sated and almost ecstatic. He can feel the hum of Edomite magic somewhere deep inside him, but it’s a minor concern at the moment. He hadn’t expected to return from Edom at all, much less with magic, a hellhound puppy, and a warlock boyfriend. It still makes his head spin to think about.
Alec kisses Magnus again, thinking he’d do it all over again to end up here.