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Koga is fourteen when Sakuma Rei kisses him for the first time.
Okay, well, it isn’t exactly a kiss. It’s one of those indirect ones that people joke about but never take seriously. For Koga, however, it’s extremely serious.
He’s returned to his place of worship yet again, the heat of the crowd causing the hair at the back of his neck to stick to his skin. He decided a while back to grow it out like Sakuma Rei, because what is Sakuma Rei if not the ideal being? Why he isn’t revered across the universe, Koga has no idea. But then again, it’s nice to have him be his. His idol, his saviour, his God. There isn’t a single soul in this livehouse that understands Sakuma Rei the way Koga does.
Currently, his God is performing on stage, singing something in English that Koga doesn’t understand. He looks to be enjoying himself, though, so Koga doesn’t mind. Koga pushes his way through the crowd, ignoring the angry cries of the people he elbows to get past them. He needs to be closer, wants to feel more, more, more. He makes it to the gates just below the stage, his chest tightening when he looks up and Sakuma Rei is right there.
Ebony-black hair, eyes the shade of blood, skin reminiscent of a corpse’s. Those seductive lips Koga has daydreamed about more times than he can remember. Some say he looks like an angel, others call him a devil. No matter which one is true, he’s utterly perfect in Koga’s eyes.
Koga’s soul aches for him.
The song ends and Sakuma Rei disappears from the stage. The darkness of the livehouse makes it impossible for Koga to watch his receding back, giving the impression that he vanished like a ghost. His absence sparks an anxiety within Koga, one that can only be soothed by the sight of his God. So he pushes his way back through the crowd, unsure of his destination but spurred on by the urge to see him again.
Sakuma Rei may not even know that Koga exists, but to Koga, he is his solace, his sanctuary. When he had nobody, Sakuma Rei saved him, whether he knows it or not. As much of a dream as it would be for him to notice Koga, he’s content with it staying this way. To Koga, Sakuma Rei is akin to the night sky—beautiful yet mysterious, in view but always out of reach.
And yet.
There’s suddenly an arm thrown around his shoulder, and before he can register what’s happening his drink has been plucked from his hand. “If you’re not drinkin’ it, I’ll have it. Singing’s got me workin’ up a sweat.”
It’s Sakuma Rei.
If Koga were to reach out his hand, he could touch him.
An impossible scenario Koga only thought was possible in his dreams is playing out right now in real life, and all Koga can do is stare like an idiot. He can’t think of anything smart to say, his mouth hanging slightly agape.
“What’s up? Oh, you’re at that age where you think indirect kisses are embarrassing, right…?” Sakuma Rei asks with a somewhat apologetic expression. Then he says something absurd. “Oopsies, sorry~ Don’t worry, I take full responsibility for stealin’ your first kiss. Mhm.”
No matter how hard Koga tries, he can’t get any words out of his mouth. Goddammit, this is not the time for him to be freezing up.
“Cat got your tongue?” Sakuma Rei takes another sip from Koga’s drink, his apology thrown out of the window. “C’mon, surely there’s somethin’ ya wanna say to me. I see ya in here all the time.”
Koga finds his voice again. “You noticed me?”
“Of course I did, sweetheart,” Sakuma Rei purrs, his breath warm against Koga’s ear. Sweetheart. “How could I miss a cute lil’ face like yours?”
Koga’s head is spinning. Is this a dream?
Sakuma Rei barks out a laugh. “Nah, this is real life. Want me to pinch ya?” He doesn’t wait for Koga to respond and grips his cheek tightly between his finger and thumb. It hurts a little, but Koga could care less. Sakuma Rei touched him.
“U-Um, would it be okay if I asked for your autograph?!” Koga manages to get out. He can hardly breathe, but he’ll regret this moment for the rest of his life if he leaves with no proof that this interaction happened.
“Sure thing!” Before Koga can bring out the notepad he carries around just in case a situation like this were to arise, Sakuma Rei produces a felt pen from who knows where and signs his name in swoopy Roman letters on Koga’s t-shirt. “You’re welcome.”
Koga could get hit by a car after leaving tonight and die happy. Beyond happy.
Someone calls Sakuma Rei’s name. He turns his head towards the sound of the voice, swearing under his breath. “Well, damn. Looks like I gotta get goin’. Sorry, kid.”
“I-It’s okay!” Koga says, because begging him to stay would be a little extreme. “Thank you very much for the autograph! I’ll treasure it forever!”
Sakuma Rei pushes the glass back into Koga’s hand and then ruffles his hair with a grin. “I’m honoured. See ya around.”
Koga blinks, and his God is gone. But his touch lingers on his skin, searing the memory of tonight into his brain permanently. He is certain that tonight will forever be the best day of his life.
—
Koga is fifteen when he meets Rei’s little brother for the first time.
It’s the day of the Venus Cup, and as intrigued by the so-called ‘top idols’ of their grade he is, he can’t get his mind off of Rei. He took off again this morning, not sparing so much as a goodbye for Koga. It’s only been a couple of months since he actually got to meet and talk with his God in the flesh, so he doesn’t expect to be let in on every little thing just yet, but a goodbye text would’ve been nice. A lot of the time, Koga feels as though Rei doesn’t take him very seriously. He would appreciate it if he started calling him by his name rather than ‘Wanko’. He is a wolf, not a dog, dammit.
Koga trips over something a few hundred metres from the building, about to start swearing his mouth off when he realises the thing he tripped over was in fact another human being.
“Ugh, do you mind?” They mumble, voice muffled where their face is pressed into the dirt.
Koga stumbles back a little. “What the hell? Are ya okay?”
“Mm. I fell, and I didn’t really feel like getting up yet. I’m sleepy.”
“Well, unless ya want someone else trippin’ over ya, ya should probably get up. I coulda hurt ya, yanno?”
“Whatever…” They struggle into a sitting position and brush their face down—it’s a guy, it seems. “Who are you, anyway? Why do you talk like Anija? It’s pissing me off.”
“Anija…?” A lightbulb goes off above Koga’s head. “Hey, are ya Sakuma-senpai’s little brother?!”
He turns his head away. “...No.”
Koga crouches down so he’s at the same level as the guy, then grabs his shoulders and forces him to look him in the eye. The same blood-red eyes, fangs, and unnaturally pale skin. His round cheeks and furious eye bags are traits that the elder brother lacks, but there’s no doubt about it. This is Sakuma Ritsu.
Sakuma Ritsu, who caught a cold two years ago that took him almost three weeks to recover from. Who used to bring in stray cats off the street and look after them until their ribs were no longer visible, who has a childhood friend he loves more than Rei. Rei used to sing about him at the livehouse—still does, when he’s performing solo and Koga is just another disciple in the crowd. The lyrics would make little to no sense to anyone who didn’t know Rei, but everyone who knows Rei is aware of his unshakable adoration for his cute little brother.
Koga feels a little awkward having the real thing here in front of him, especially when he knows all these random tidbits about him and Ritsu doesn’t even know his name. “Ya are his little brother! Ya look so alike it’s scary.”
Ritsu’s gaze turns dark. Even with that baby face, Koga feels a shiver run down his back. “Don’t say that. Don’t you ever compare me to that piece of trash.”
“Oi, don’t talk about Sakuma-senpai like that!” Koga snaps. “You. Do ya know anythin’ about where he’s fucked off to this time?”
Ritsu scowls, but it isn’t directed at Koga. “No. I didn’t even know he left.”
Koga clicks his teeth. “Don’t screw with me, ya fucker! There’s no reason for ya to not know anything!”
It doesn’t take long for someone to hear his raised voice and get involved; it’s two of Rei’s companions, the long-haired magician and Koga’s classmate, er, Sakasaki. Koga rises to his full height, dragging Ritsu up with him. Their addition to the conversation doesn’t make any difference; all Koga manages to learn is that Ritsu, for whatever reason, harbours a deep hatred for his brother. Which is just insane, because it’s Rei.
They have to go their separate ways eventually to catch the Venus Cup in time, but Koga manages to sniff Ritsu out again after it’s over. He corners him near the bike rack, grabbing him by the scruff of his shirt before he can make his way inside the building. “Yo, uh. Ritsu.”
Ritsu frowns, swatting Koga’s hand away. “That doesn’t sound right coming from you, somehow. Why were you following me?”
“Earlier ya agreed to tell me more. I was makin’ sure ya didn’t make a break for it.”
“Ugh… I wasn’t running away. I’m a man of my word, unlike some people,” he says, voice dripping with distaste. “I just assumed you meant tomorrow. I’m tired and wanna go home to sleep.”
Rei’s voice echoes in the back of Koga’s head, something about Ritsu’s body being even more ill-equipped to dealing with the sunlight than his. “This won’t take long.”
Ritsu sighs loudly, so Koga knows just how much of an inconvenience this is to him. “Fine. Can I at least sit down?” Koga shows him his secret technique to climb to the top of the bike rack—well, he demonstrates it and then drags Ritsu up after him. He doesn’t have an athletic bone in his body. “Thanks. What’s your name, by the way?”
“Oogami Koga.”
“Koga-kun…” Ritsu blinks. “So you’re the doggy he’s mentioned.”
“Sakuma-senpai talks about me?!”
Ritsu raises an eyebrow. “...Not much, but he’s mentioned you in passing a few times. This kid’s been followin’ me around everywhere I go like a puppy, and He’s got suuuch a loud voice an’ zero tact, it makes me sick.”
If Ritsu’s smirk is anything to go off of, Koga has a feeling the second one is bullshit. “Heh. He’s finally recognised me…”
“Sure. Anyway, what did you want to talk about this time?”
“The same thing as before. I want ya to tell me where Sakuma-senpai’s gone,” Koga demands.
“I told you already, I don’t know. Do your ears not work?” Ritsu asks, rolling his eyes.
Koga physically deflates. “...do ya really not know?”
“No. And stop making that face, it’s making me feel bad. You really are like a puppy.”
Koga chooses to ignore the puppy comment. “It’s just… Sakuma-senpai is my everything. So not knowing where he is when there’s this unsettlin’ tension in the air is drivin’ me wild.”
“You…” Koga is positive Ritsu wants to insult him again, but for some reason he holds his tongue. “Look, I don’t know where he’s gone this time and why, but he’s been doing this for years. You might as well get used to it. That thing isn’t going to live up to whatever expectations you have of him.”
“What do ya mean?”
“When I was young, Anija was my hero. I have a weak constitution, which means I couldn’t really go out and play with the other kids my age. So Anija would spend time with me instead, reading books to me and coming up with all these elaborate stories of his own. It was easy to forget that he’s only a year older than me at times. But as we started to grow up, something shifted. My family is… odd, you know?”
Koga nods. He thinks back to Rei’s lips on his neck just last month, the mass of people clad head to toe in black, Rei’s reassuring whispers as the fear of not being able to see or move his hands settled in. Odd is an understatement.
“Right. When I was about nine, Anija started disappearing for weeks at a time, leaving nothing more than a note on the kitchen table. He’d always bring me back some kind of gift, but that didn’t make up for the fact that he wasn’t there for me when I needed him. Even more so this past year.” Ritsu finally looks up at him—behind the anger clouding his expression, Koga can sense the sadness.
The rational part of Koga’s brain tells him it’s best not to question that last part. “I see… And ya really have no clue where he’s going?”
It takes Ritsu a few moments to reply. “...No. I don’t.”
“That so.” Koga gets the feeling he knows more than he’s letting on, but considering how fragile he seems, Koga doesn’t want to be the thing that cracks him. Besides, they only just met. After hearing all that, he can kind of understand where the malice directed towards Ritsu’s own brother comes from. He remembers being thirteen and wandering the streets like a stray dog, searching for someone to love him after his parents stopped paying attention to him. “Well, thanks, I guess. Sorry I got mad earlier.”
“Nah, don’t worry about it. If my Maa-kun up and disappeared, I’d be beside myself with worry as well.” Ritsu stretches his arms above his head. “I should probably get home soon. But speaking of Maa-kun, he left early to go out with those guys he was singing with, so now I have no way of getting home…”
Koga stands up. “All right. Here’s the deal. I’ll carry ya home if ya promise to show me some of Sakuma-senpai’s baby photos.”
“Ugh, really? I don’t think you and I will ever get along,” Ritsu sighs. “But sure. It’s better than having to walk home myself. Stupid Maa-kun, leaving me here all alone.”
“Alone? I’m right here…” Koga takes a second to think. “Ritchii.”
Ritsu’s gaze goes inquisitive. “Ritchii?”
“Ya said ya don’t like bein’ called Sakuma, right? And callin’ ya Ritsu sounds weird.”
“...Yeah. Let’s go,” Ritsu pauses as if in thought, looking Koga up and down. “Corgi.”
“Bastard, I’m a wolf, not a dog!”
—
Koga is sixteen when Ritsu lets it slip that neither he nor Rei eats breakfast.
When Ritsu asked—no, ordered Koga to carry him to the gym for the second period, Koga had questioned why he was always so out of energy in the morning.
“It’s like ya don’t eat anythin’,” he’d said. Ritsu had then gone suspiciously quiet. “...Ritchii, ya eat breakfast, right?”
“It’s too early to be making food,” Ritsu mumbled. “And it’s not like Anija makes anything either.”
This is why Koga is in the Sakuma’s kitchen at seven in the morning, a pink frilly apron (it’s the only one he could find) tied around his waist and cooking tamagoyaki on the stove. He coerced Ritsu into giving him his spare set of keys yesterday, and he will admit that being in such a large yet quiet residence gives him the creeps.
He can’t imagine having all this space filled by only two people. Two avoidant, nocturnal people that probably just keep to their rooms when they’re here. He imagines that Rei tries to make some kind of conversation from time to time, but knowing Ritsu it’s likely he just ignores him.
Koga is just turning the mixture over when he hears footsteps behind him. Any other person probably would’ve missed them—it took Koga months to learn how to pick up on both Rei and Ritsu’s footsteps, the elusive bastards. “Good morning, Ritsuuu! This smells amazing! I can’t believe you got up to cook something for your dear big brother; has Hell frozen over?”
Koga whacks Rei’s hand away before it can rest itself on his shoulder. “Haah?! Do I look like Ritchii to ya?!”
“W-Wanko? What on earth are you doing here?” Rei asks, taking a step back. He looks a little disappointed, much to Koga’s annoyance, but seems more shocked than anything. His hair is an attractive mess, and his pajama shirt is considerably low-cut. Koga forces himself to maintain eye contact. “Don’t tell me… You and Ritsu…!”
“Don’t jump to conclusions like that! Honestly, what the hell’s wrong with ya…” Koga sighs, turning back to keep an eye on the food. “It’s no wonder Ritchii’s so cold to ya when that’s how ya approach him in the mornin’. And I’m here ‘cuz Ritchii happened to mention that neither of ya eat breakfast.” He gestures to the frying pan. “Ya both need to take better care of yerselves. I woke up an hour early for this. Ya better be grateful.”
“...I am. Thank you, Koga.” Rei slides his arms around Koga’s waist, resting his head on his shoulder with a yawn. “I like your apron.”
Koga’s face catches on fire. “Shut up! This is yours, ain’t it? It was in your kitchen! And get offa me, wouldja?”
“True, but I do believe it suits you more.” Rei rubs his face into Koga’s cheek. “Let me remain here for a short while, Wanko. I would rather not admit it, but I did not sleep well.”
“...Whatever, vampire bastard,” Koga sighs. As cold as he may act towards Rei, he isn’t going to push him away in his times of need. “Do ya want me to talk about somethin’?
He feels Rei nod, and so Koga tells him about how Leon managed to escape from his lead this morning in his desperation to chase a squirrel. Rei stays latched onto Koga as he dishes the prepared tamagoyaki out onto three plates and pours them each a glass of water. He takes three trips to the table and back, being careful not to drop or spill anything with this weight on his back. He understands Mao’s pain now.
“Ugh, can you guys flirt somewhere else? I don’t need to be seeing this first thing in the morning.” Ritsu appears at the bottom of the stairs, rubbing his eyes.
“Oi, shut the hell up, we ain’t flirtin’. He’s just a clingy bastard and you know it.” Koga unwraps Rei’s arms from around him, finding no resistance now that his precious brother is here. “What are ya doin’ up? I honestly thought I’d have to drag yer ass outta bed.”
“I’m mad at Maa-kun,” Ritsu grumbles, taking a seat at the table. “So I want to leave for school with you before he gets here.”
Rei beats Koga to the seat next to Ritsu, but it takes all of ten seconds for Ritsu to shift his plate over and move to the seat at the head of the table. Rei follows suit, shuffling across so he’s as close to Ritsu as he can be with the table’s layout. “Eh? Really? My Ritsu wants to walk to school with me? How could this be? Is this a dream come true? Oh, Ritsu, of course—”
Ritsu scrunches up his nose and stabs his chopsticks into his tamagoyaki. “No, you cretin. I want to go with Corgi and Corgi alone. You can stay here and rot.”
“W-What?! My dear little brother, must you be so cruel all the time?” Rei sobs, slumping back in his chair like a damned drama queen.
Koga rolls his eyes and sits opposite him. “C’mon, eat the food I kindly made fer ya. What did Dekosuke do this time? Actually, don’t tell me. I have a feelin’ it’s stupid.”
“Are you calling my feelings stupid? Not nice, Corgi,” Ritsu says around a mouthful of food. “This is really good, by the way. I didn’t know you could cook.”
“Don’t talk with yer mouth full. And thanks. I live alone, so I gotta sustain myself somehow.”
“Hmm… Hey, why don’t you take Anija and he can live with you.” Rei had been eating his food all sadly like the pathetic old man he is, but Ritsu’s suggestion grabs his attention. “That way you won’t be lonely and Maa-kun can move in with me~!”
“Ritsuuu! How could you say such a thing?! Is this not the house where we grew up together, two brothers who share a bond unbreakable by even fate?!” Rei cries; sometimes Koga can’t believe this is the great Sakuma-senpai he fell for all those years ago. What an idiot he was.
Cold is not a strong enough word for the look that Ritsu gives Rei. “I don’t recall ever having a snivelling, wretched older brother. As far as I know, I’ve been an only child my whole life.”
Koga is beginning to regret coming here. He decides to overlook his sobbing senior. “Ain’tcha supposed to be mad at that guy right now? And I’m not lonely! I’m a solitary wolf, which means I like being alone!”
Ritsu shrugs. “It’s just a marital spat. We’ll get over it.”
The two of them finish eating, and once Ritsu hurries back up to his room to get dressed, Koga turns his attention back to Rei. “Oi, vampire bastard. Hurry and eat yer food before it goes cold.”
“Wankooo, did you see that? An act of such cruelty towards one’s own flesh and blood is simply inhumane,” Rei laments, showing no signs of eating any time soon. “He seems to be fond of you. Could you do me the favour of talking to him for me?”
“No. I ain’t gettin’ any more involved in this than I already have.” Koga clicks his teeth and reaches across the table for Rei’s chopsticks. “Here. Eat.”
Rei sighs but obliges, letting Koga feed him a bite of his tamagoyaki. “...Ritsu was right. This is delectable.”
“Thank ya. Now, can ya do the rest yerself?”
“I can, but alas, I am so distraught by my own brother’s words that have pierced my heart.” Rei gives him those eyes, the ones he whips out when he wants something. “I don’t suppose you could help me with the rest?”
Koga hates him. He really, truly does.
(Of course Koga helps him. Because what is he if not a vessel built to contain all the love in the world for Sakuma Rei?)
—
Koga is seventeen when he and Rei share a bed for the first time.
It wasn’t supposed to happen. They’d booked two rooms for the four of them, each with two beds. But when Koga and Rei arrive at theirs, well-spent from their long day of travelling, they are greeted by one singular bed.
“Is this some kinda joke?” Koga asks through gritted teeth. “How does this even happen?”
“Come now, Koga. This isn’t so bad. You and I can spend some quality time together,” Rei suggests, dumping his bags at the end of the bed.
“What type of quality time are ya imaginin’, ya bastard?” Koga snaps. “Can’t we just go and ask reception fer a new room?”
Rei pouts like a child. “Ehh, does my Koga not want to share a bed with me that badly? Do you hate me that much?”
“Maybe, if ya keep goin’ on like that.” Truth be told, Koga wouldn’t mind. Hell, he’d be more than happy to share a bed with Rei. But he isn’t going to just admit that. “I’m gonna go and ask.”
“Kogaaa,” Rei calls, and when Koga turns around to face him he’s a few mere inches away. Rei wraps his arms around Koga’s shoulders, nuzzling his face into his neck. “What’s the issue? You’re making this old man sad, you know?”
Koga ignores how hot his face feels and attempts to peel Rei off him, to no avail. These damn Sakumas are strong when they want to be. “Cut the old man talk, for fuck’s sake. That ain’t gonna make me want to sleep with ya any more.”
“My, my. Who said anything about sleeping together?” Rei asks, feigning innocence. “What a dirty mind you have.”
Koga is going to murder him. “S-Shut the hell up! Ya know what I meant!” He finally manages to shake Rei off. “Ugh, I’m too tired for this. I guess if it’s just for one night, it’s whatever. Just don’t try anythin’ funny, ‘kay?”
“Trust me, I would never do anything to make you uncomfortable,” Rei says, and Koga believes him.
They take turns in the shower, Koga trying (and failing) to not stare at Rei as he wanders around in nothing but a towel. His paper-white skin is tinged a slight red from the heat of the water, and his hair sits at his shoulders perfectly even when damp. Koga finds himself drawn to a droplet of water trailing down Rei’s skin, starting at his collarbone. It travels down his surprisingly toned chest, down his stomach until it reaches his v-line, which leads to—
“Koga.” Rei’s voice snaps him out of his daze, his smile more than enough evidence that he noticed. “Your shower.”
Koga ducks his head and mumbles something that could resemble an apology on his way to the bathroom. Once they’re both freshly clean and in their pajamas, they take turns drying each other’s hair. Koga isn’t sure whether he’s doing a good job or not, but if the way Rei hums contentedly as Koga massages his scalp is anything to go by, he assumes he is. As Rei dries Koga’s hair, he admittedly almost drops off to sleep. It’s relaxing.
Eventually, the hair dryer switches off and Rei gives Koga’s hair a little ruffle. “Say, Koga. Is that one of my shirts?”
Koga bites the inside of his cheek. “...Maybe.”
“You truly are too cute. Come, my dear. Let’s get some sleep.” Koga can hear the affection in his voice, and it makes his heart ache for more.
Rei presses his lips to the centre of Koga’s head, then places the hairdryer onto the bedside table and moves to switch off the light. They climb into bed together—the sheets are relatively soft, and Koga is looking forward to a good night’s sleep after the long day they’ve had. He shuffles to the edge of the bed, lying with his back facing Rei. “Goodnight.”
He can hear Rei thinking behind him; he probably wants to ask why Koga won’t face him, but for some reason he decides against it. “Goodnight, Koga. Sweet dreams.”
Ten minutes later, Koga can’t fall asleep. Thirty minutes later, he still can’t fall asleep. An hour later and he’s debating just moving to sleep on the floor. Clicking his teeth, he rolls over so he can see Rei. He’s fast asleep in the same eerie way as usual, almost completely still and quiet, as if he were a corpse. The moonlight flittering in through the cracks in the curtains only amplifies the resemblance, illuminating his pale skin to the point it looks almost see-through.
Against his better judgement, Koga reaches out and gently traces his hand against Rei’s cheek. He’s warm. He’s alive.
Rei’s still expression falters then, and for a moment Koga fears he has woken him up. But he remains asleep, his face slowly contorting in discomfort. He shifts a little, mumbling an almost inaudible, “No.” Koga’s mouth goes dry with anxiety for a moment before he realises that Rei is having a nightmare.
Koga wonders for a moment if waking him up is really the best thing; after all, he knows from experience that waking Leon up from a bad dream can cause him to lash out. Rei then makes a sound, a small whine of distress, and Koga steels his nerves. Rei isn’t a dog. He isn’t an angel or a devil, and he certainly isn’t a vampire. He’s a human, the same as Koga.
So Koga shuffles closer and takes Rei’s hand in his, smoothing his thumb over his knuckles. “Sakuma-senpai?” He whispers. No response. “Sakuma-senpai. …Rei.”
Rei’s eyelashes begin to flutter, and slowly he opens his eyes. Even in the dark Koga can see the fear in his eyes. “Koga?”
“Shh, ‘s alright. Yer okay. I’m here,” Koga murmurs, bringing his free hand up to cup Rei’s cheek. He leans into his touch with a sigh. “Bad dream?”
“Mm.” Rei hums, squeezing Koga’s hand. “I suppose so. I apologise for waking you.”
“Nah, I couldn’t sleep anyway.” Koga worries his bottom lip between his teeth momentarily. “Do ya wanna talk about it?”
Rei averts his gaze. “Not especially. Perhaps another day. These things are rather frequent, you see. They have been for some time now. It’s been getting better as of late, but the odd one will still show its face every now and then.”
“Sakuma-senpai…” Koga’s always been bad at this comforting thing. He wishes he had the power to rid Rei of any worries and troubles he may have, but he doesn’t. So all he can do is pull Rei closer, resting Rei’s head on his chest. “Is this okay?”
“Yes,” Rei says. “I like being able to listen to your heartbeat. It soothes me.”
They stay like that until they both drift off to sleep. Koga dreams of singing on a burning stage, the flames reaching up to his thighs but not causing him any pain. Rei is there too, except Koga can’t see him. But he knows he’s there because he is the reason why Koga is singing, why Koga has a purpose in life. Without Sakuma Rei, who is he?
When he wakes up in the morning, Rei is still in his arms. He looks beautiful like this. At this moment, he truly belongs to no one except Koga. And that is more than enough.
—
Koga is eighteen when he discovers that Rei is not as dominant in bed as he always imagined.
It’s just the two of them in Koga’s dorm room—Tatsumi is conveniently out for the night and Subaru agreed to look after Leon, so they have a good few hours to themselves. Up until now, they’ve never gone beyond hurried makeout sessions and gentle touches over their clothes. But tonight, something is different. Koga can feel it in the way Rei kisses him, in the way Rei’s hands dare to slip beneath Koga’s shirt.
Rei is in Koga’s lap, his body warm and his kisses warmer. He’s been especially needy today, trailing around after Koga—it’s as if their roles from two years ago have been reversed. They’ve come full circle, Koga supposes. Both had their turns being clingy and annoying, both had their awkward phase where there was an air of misunderstanding between them. Rei nips at his bottom lip, eliciting a breathy gasp from Koga that allows Rei to slip his tongue into his mouth. Koga responds in stride, sliding his hand underneath Rei’s shirt and gently feeling his way up his chest.
“Sakuma-senpai,” Koga exhales when Rei pulls away from him. “What’s up with ya lately? It’s like ya can’t get enough of me or somethin’.”
“That’s because I can’t, my dear Koga.” Rei kisses him again. “I desire you in every way plausible. Your skin, your body, your life. You have no idea of the things I would do just to have you all to myself.”
Koga suppresses a whine. “That ain’t fair, senpai. Ya know I can’t say no to ya.”
Rei brings his hand up and gently cups Koga’s cheek. “If you are truly sure this is what you want, may I show you a good time?”
“Yes. God, yes,” Koga says, his cool-guy persona melting away under Rei’s touch. “Ya have no idea how long I’ve dreamed of this.”
Rei hums. “I might have some clue.”
Before Koga can question if that means what he thinks, Rei grinds his hips down against him and an involuntary groan slips through his lips. Koga ignores Rei’s teasing smile and kisses him again, trailing his fingers along the smooth skin of his back.
“Arms up,” Koga mumbles against Rei’s lips. Rei complies, lifting his arms above his head so it’s easier for Koga to pull his shirt off. “Mm, good boy.”
Rei whimpers at that—not what Koga was expecting, but he can work with it. He tugs weakly at the hem of Koga’s shirt. “You too, Koga.”
Koga obeys, tugging his shirt off a little too eagerly. He flips them around and pins Rei beneath him on his bed, sucking a trail of bites up his chest to his collarbone. Rei shudders, a groan escaping past his lips as Koga reaches his neck. Koga pauses for a second, wondering if he should forsake marking his skin here.
“It’s okay,” Rei says, his voice breathy. “You can bite me. I don’t mind. In fact, I would love nothing more than if the whole world knew I belong to you.”
And God, if that doesn’t turn Koga on. He obliges, biting into Rei’s flesh deep enough to leave a mark but not so deep that it draws blood. He lets his fangs graze over Rei’s Adam’s apple, placing a gentle kiss right at the center.
Koga could tear Rei’s throat out if he wanted to. And Rei would let him.
Everything after that is a blur. Koga meant what he said earlier; he’s spent so many days and nights longing to be this intimate with his Sakuma-senpai. It’s hard to believe that he used to be someone so untouchable, always within arm’s reach yet so distant from Koga. Now he is putty in Koga’s hands, not a song on his lips but a mantra of Koga’s name.
Soon enough Koga collapses onto the bed beside Rei, admiring the beautiful mess he is. Tousled hair, flushed cheeks, and a myriad of marks littered across his skin, all because of Koga. He feels a strange sense of pride that he was able to reduce the Sakuma Rei to this. This is a view for Koga’s eyes only.
“Koga,” Rei breathes, voice ever so raspy. “You were perfect. Are perfect.”
Koga averts his gaze. “…You too. That was my first time, yanno.”
“Oopsies, sorry~ Don’t worry, I take full responsibility for stealin’ your first time,” Rei says, and suddenly Koga is fourteen again in the place where everything started.
“Y-You remember that?!” He splutters, unsure whether he’s happy or embarrassed about it. “I thought ya woulda forgotten that fer sure. I was nobody back then.”
Rei cups Koga’s cheek in his hand and tilts his head towards him. His eyes shine with such love that it almost makes Koga feel sick. “How could I ever forget anything about my dear Koga?”
Unable to think of an appropriate response, Koga kisses him for the umpteenth time tonight. He’s never been as good with words as Rei is, but he hopes he’s able to convey exactly how Rei makes him feel with this kiss. “Alright, that’s enough outta ya. Go take a shower an’ I’ll strip the bed, ‘kay?”
After he manages to pry Rei off of him, Koga slides out of bed with a stretch. But before he can go anywhere, Rei calls out to him.
“Koga,” Rei says. “I love you.”
Koga feels his heart swell with affection. When he says, “I love ya too,” he means it. He will always love Sakuma Rei and all that accompanies him.