Chapter Text
Upon my pillow, safe in bed,
A thousand pictures fill my head,
I cannot sleep, my mind’s a flight,
And yet my limbs seem made of lead.
“Juju,” Addison said, handing the mug over to Meredith. “After the day you’ve had, I figured you could use it.” Meredith took the cup, leaning her back against the counter in their kitchen.
“Thank you, Addison.”
The moment felt like deja-vu, from one of the first times they’d been together. They’d come far from that moment, the first time Addison juju-ed her. At that point, they hated each other. Now, they were engaged and living together, the happiest they’d ever been and instead of hospital cafeteria hot chocolate, Addison made her juju at home and it was the best hot chocolate that Meredith had ever tasted. Instead of the powered, add-water hot chocolate they served at the hospital, Addison used real chocolate, melted down and milk. The hot chocolate was creamy and delicious and she added whipped cream, marshmallows and powdered chocolate on top and this juju came with cuddles on the couch.
Meredith grabbed Addison’s hand, pulling her over to the couch. The clothes she had on, the clothes she wore to and from the hospital, weren’t very comfortable but she’d rather be slightly uncomfortable than forego cuddling with Addison at the moment. She needed the contact.
Addison gave the best cuddles, especially when Meredith was upset. Her body fit perfectly with the other woman’s. They were quiet for a moment, basking in the comfort of each other, Meredith’s mind reeling from the day she’d had. She was trying to distract herself and her mind ended up wandering to how far their relationship had evolved from the first time they met.
“What are you thinking about, my love?” Addison asked, her hand carding through the other woman’s hair, nails scratching at her scalp. Meredith hummed in contentment at the feeling. She’d been in surgery all day and her hair had been tied up in braids, tightly, so her scalp was a little sore, but Addison’s fingers were helping to relieve the tension.
“It’s stupid but how far we’ve come since we first met; from being the wife and girlfriend to this. I’m so glad we’re here but when you look back at the situation we were in, it’s kind of bizarre that we’re here right now.” She moved closer, resting her head against Addison’s chest, needing to hear the woman’s heartbeat. "Not bad bizarre, just-”
“I know, Mer. I never thought I’d be making homemade juju for my husband’s mistress and scratching her head after a long shift but I’ve never been happier. I'm happy to be here. You did such a great job today and I’m so proud of you, even if you don’t feel like you did great. I heard about how well you handled everything and I’ve never been so grateful to have your engagement ring adorning my finger. Every time I look down at my hand, I’m filled with an eternal amount of pride for the woman you’ve become, the women we’ve become.”
“Adds,” Meredith whispered, unable to speak or she’d cry. “I love you.”
“I love you too, sweet girl. Anything you need, I’m here.”
“I need my pyjamas and bed, can we do that?” She asked, her fingers trailing under the hem of Addison’s shirt.
“We certainly can. You go and get comfortable and I’ll wash your mug.” Meredith sat up, groaning at how sore her muscles were.
“You’re an angel. I don’t know what I would do without you.” Addison kissed Meredith’s cheek, taking the mug from her hands.
“Grey, go. I’m an attending. You have to listen to me,” She butted her shoulder against Meredith’s arm teasingly.
“Pulling the authority card, very mature. Yes, Dr Montgomery-Grey. I’ll change into my pyjamas for you. I’ll look ravaging.”
“Go, stop teasing. If you can be a good girl and change into your pyjamas, I could make your aching muscles go away.” Her hand trailed up Meredith’s back, pressing between her shoulder blades to make a point.
“I’m going. You’re evil.” She stood up, looking down at Addison.
“It’s why they call me Satan,” Addison quirked. Meredith rolled her eyes but reached her hand out for Addison to take, pulling her stand up too. “I love you,” she murmured, pressing her lips against Meredith’s.
“I love you more but you have to let me go or I can’t lie on the bed waiting for my massage.” Addison let Meredith go, washing the mug as she said she would, as well as the rest of the dishes. By the time she entered the bedroom, Meredith had showered and changed into her pyjamas. She was lying under the covers, her hair tied back and the TV remote in her hands.
“God, you’re beautiful,” Addison said leaning against the door frame.
“Oh, shush. I don’t have makeup on. You look beautiful. You’ve done a whole shift and you still look just as gorgeous as you did this morning, I don’t understand how you do it.”
“Many years of practice.” She winked, pushing herself away from the doorway and moving towards the bed. “Turn over and lie down, I’ll grab some lotion and work the kinks out of your back, okay? These talented hands need to be put to use somehow.”
She made her way into the adjoining bathroom, opening the cupboard to grab the bottle of lotion they used for massages. When she got back, Meredith had propped the pillows up draping herself over them, her pyjama shirt off. Addison straddled Meredith’s calves, squirting some lotion onto her hands, warming it up slightly.
“You ready?” She asked. Meredith hummed in agreement.
“Ready.” Addison placed her hands on Meredith’s shoulders, working her thumbs into the tense muscles in Meredith’s shoulder. She worked the knots in her shoulders for a few minutes before Meredith spoke again. “God, you’re good.”
“Not God, just Addie. I am good. Lie still, let me help work them out.” Meredith did as she asked, letting Addison work the soreness out. It felt good, really good, especially when her hands started to move lower on her back, working the muscles there too. “You’re tense everywhere, my love. Surgery’s not good for you, you know.”
“Surgery’s great for me,” Meredith said, her voice muffled slightly by the pillow. “Surgery keeps me sane. Standing in an O.R. for almost 8 hours isn’t good for me, that I do know.” Addison continued to work the lotion into Meredith’s skin in silence for a while until she felt the knots dissipate. Her hands wandered around Meredith’s abdomen, teasing slightly.
“Do you want me to do your thighs as well?” She asked.
“Would you? I don’t want to ask too much of you. I can imagine you’re probably tired too.” Addison poked at her side.
“Shush, I want to touch you, want to help you. So let me.”
“Yes, Ma’am,” Meredith drawled. Addison landed a slap on Meredith’s ass through her pants, revelling in the groan Meredith let out. “That’s just mean. Now I’m turned on and you’re going to be touching my thighs. Satan, that’s who you are.”
“I always have been and always will be Satan. Now, take off your pants and let me feel you up, respectfully,” Addison said.
“Respectfully, I hate you.” Addison climbed off of Meredith’s legs, allowing her to slide her pyjama pants off. Meredith also took her panties off. “Just so you have easier access, you know? It’s inevitable, I know you.” She’d claimed, then lay back down on the bed.
“You can be such a brat sometimes and while you might be right, I’m not really willing to admit that right now.” Addison pressed a kiss to the back of each of Meredith’s thighs.
“So, when your hands wander further inside my thighs than they should for a massage, I should act all surprised, huh?” Addison squirted more of the lotion between her hands, warming it up again before working her hands into Meredith’s thighs. There were fewer knots in Meredith’s legs than Addison thought and yes, Meredith was right. She was starting to get handsy, needing to keep her hands on Meredith’s body. “Adds…”
“Turn over for me, pretty girl.” Meredith did as she was asked, propping herself against the pillows. Addison straddled her thighs, leaning down to her kiss. Meredith’s hands landed on each of Addison’s hips, pulling her closer.
“You’re overdressed for this occasion,” she whispered against Addison’s lips. The older woman pulled back slightly, crossing her arms over her body to grip either side of her shirt and pull it over her head. She blindly threw it behind her, hoping it didn’t hit anything. “Bra too. I want to be a bad girlfriend and ogle you, however wrong that is. You’re mine and I want to look at my girl. It would help me feel better.” She batted her eyelashes while she waited. Addison reached behind her and unclipped her bra, sliding it down her arms. Before she had a chance to lean in to kiss Meredith, the blonde wrapped her lips around one of Addison’s nipples, her hand coming up to play with the other one. She moaned, tangling her hand at the roots of Meredith’s hair, holding her in place.
“God, you’re good with your mouth.” Meredith hummed in agreement, swirling her tongue around Addison’s nipple. Addison’s eyes fluttered closed at the feeling. “I was meant to be taking care of you, you’re not being fair.” Meredith pulled away, looking up at Addison, her eyes dilated.
“Take care of me then, or you can let me mark you up, make sure people know you’re taken.” Meredith pressed her lips to Addison’s chest again, sucking a mark into the top of one of her breasts as Addison replied.
“You really are being a brat. I’m tempted to ruin you, leave you a whimpering mess. Tell me what you need. Do you need me to be soft, or ruin you?” Addison pushed a lock of Meredith’s hair behind her ear from where it had fallen out of her ponytail.
“I need soft, but I want to be ruined.” Addison linked their hands between them.
“How about soft tonight and I can ruin you another day?” She suggested.
“Yes, please. God, Adds. I need you so badly right now.” Meredith squeezed their joined hands.
“Then lie down, sweet girl. Let me take care of you like you deserve.”
Meredith lay down on the bed as Addison took her pants and underwear off. Then, she got comfortable on the bed, kneeling between Meredith’s legs and instructing her to lift them. Addison lay on her stomach between Meredith’s legs, draping her legs over her shoulder as she pressed kisses to the insides of her thighs.
“My pretty girl, you’re so wet for me,” Addison said, her breath tickling Meredith’s skin. Meredith’s hand tangled in her curls, pulling her closer. Addison’s tongue ran through Meredith’s arousal then swirled around her clit. She pulled it between her lips, listening as Meredith gasped.
“Please, Addie,” she begged, adjusting her grip on the woman’s hair. Addison held her hips down with one hand, moving the other to push two fingers into Meredith. She felt as her hips tried to lift off the bed but she held them down, continuing to move her tongue around Meredith’s clit. “I’m close, I just need-”
She was cut off as Addison sucked lightly on her clit, a breathy moan leaving her lips instead. Her hips jerked as her orgasm washed over her and Addison helped guide her through it. Once she’d rode out her orgasm, Meredith pulled Addison’s head away from her, dragging her up to kiss her instead.
“I love you,” Meredith whispered, pressing their lips together. She pushed her tongue into Addison’s mouth, tasting herself. Addison melted against her as they kissed and Meredith took her momentary weakness to flip them over, straddling Addison’s legs instead. She pulled away to trail a line of kisses down Addison's neck, settling on her pulse point for a moment, doing her best not to leave a mark, then continued down to her chest where she sucked several hickeys into the skin there.
Meredith kissed over Addison’s stomach, leaving more hickeys. She knew how Addison liked to be marked, left with a reminder of how loved she was when she looked in the mirror and she was more than happy to comply with her fiancée’s wishes. Addison also liked the teasing so didn’t push for Meredith to give her more. She sighed when instead of moving where she needed her, Meredith licked a line across her bikini line, then kissed down her thighs. Addison propped her feet up on the bed, dropping her knees to the side and Meredith settled between them. She sucked several more marks into the skin on Addison’s thighs, delighting in the gasps Addison let out at the pain.
“Mer, please. I need you. Stop teasing.” Meredith looked up at Addison, meeting her eyes as she pressed a kiss to Addison’s clit, enjoying how her hips lifted off the bed. She gathered some of Addison’s arousal on her tongue and then ran her tongue over Addison’s clit.
“God, you taste so good,” Meredith said. She buried her face back between Addison’s thighs, listening to her whimpers, gasps and moans as she brought her closer to an orgasm.
“Fingers, please,” Addison requested. Meredith pulled back for a moment, pushing two of her fingers between her lips to wet them, then pushing them into Addison. She worked her fingers and mouth simultaneously to bring Addison to an orgasm, working her through it.
“You’re so good,” Addison said as Meredith curled up against her. “I love you so much. I’ve said it so much today but I really do, and you need to know that.” Meredith trailed her fingers over Addison’s stomach, absentmindedly drawing patterns.
“I know you do and I love you just as much. I’m so happy we’re here. Thank you for loving me.” Meredith blushed as the statement left her mouth. “Nope, that was not me. Meredith Grey would never say that. You’ve ruined me, Addison.” Addison pulled her closer, holding her as tightly as she could.
“I told you I would, just not in the way you expect. Now, go pee. I’m not having you catch a UTI.”