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“Richard Grayson, you fucking idiot.”
Tim was pacing around in his apartment. Ever since he had moved out, his family would frequently drop in to check on him. And raid his snacks, as Alfred hadn’t had the chance to go through his cupboards and get rid of the junk. Which is why, at ten in the morning on a Saturday, Tim was freaking out.
Because Dick had come over and raided him for snacks. Unfortunately for everyone involved, Tim had left out some… special brownies the night before.
And now, understandably, Dick was also freaking out.
“Why do you have pot brownies? Oh my god I feel it already, I’m gonna puke.”
“Dick, you ate the brownie ten minutes ago. That's not long enough to start feeling the effects. You have anxiety. You’re anxious.” Dick was ignoring him.
“My little brother does drugs. I ATE MY LITTLE BROTHER’S DRUGS. Oh god, I’m going to hell.”
“You aren’t religious. You literally don’t believe in hell.”
“I’m debating on converting and praying to god to take away my sins.”
“You only ate ten milligrams. It’ll be okay.”
“I can’t believe I just did drugs. Forgive me, father, for I have sinned.”
“This isn’t confessional. I’m calling Jason.” Tim didn’t want to deal with him anymore. As Dick continued to freak out, Tim dialed Jason’s number.
“What do you want, Timbo. I’m busy.”
“Dick ate a weed brownie. I need you to come over to my apartment. Bring food.” Jason snorted.
“What’s in it for me?”
“Other than the fact that he’s going to be high in about twenty minutes and it will be good blackmail? I’ll do the paperwork for the case you closed yesterday. Also I’ll provide for the sesh with Steph this weekend.”
“Sold. Hope you guys like Thai food.” Tim hung up and turned towards Dick, who was now face planted into his couch groaning.
“Okay Dick, listen up. Freaking out isn’t going to do anything. You already ate it, so all we can do is ride this thing out.”
“What’s it like to be high?”
“Well, you’re about to find out.”
“ Tim .”
“Kind of like being drunk? Only everything feels slower. And you feel like you’re floating.”
“Okay.” Dick took a deep breath and sat up. “Okay. I can do this.” He turned towards Tim. “Is there anything I can do to make this better?” Tim winced.
“Not really. Jason is bringing over food, it will feel a bit better if you aren’t high on an empty stomach.” Dick nodded.
“I hope you know that we’re talking about this when I sober up again.”
“Duly noted.”
By the time Jason arrived with food, Tim had set Dick up on the couch with blankets, water and a movie.
“He’s starting to get clingy.” Whispered Tim frantically, waving Jason into the apartment. “Give him the food so he stops trying to hold me.”
“Hello to you too.” Said Jason, walking towards the living room and dropping the bag onto Dick. “Eat up, Dickiebird, or you’re going to have a really bad time.” Dick groaned and sat up.
“I feel so weird.” He pulled out one of the containers and started eating without looking at what it was. “Also I am so incredibly hungry. I don’t like it.” He paused and shot Jason a look. “How do you know I’ll have a bad time if I don’t eat?”
Jason stared at him.
Dick threw down his fork.
“Are you kidding me? Two of my little brothers do drugs. What have I done to God to deserve this?” Tim leaned over to whisper in Jason’s ear.
“He’s been on a weird Christianity arc since he ate the brownie.”
“Got anymore?” Jason whispered back. “It’ll make this easier for me to deal with.”
“My little brothers do drugs TOGETHER.” Wailed Dick. “Where did I go wrong?”
“Get it together, Dickhead. We’ll talk about this when you’re not going through your first high.”
Dick scowled into his noodles.
Tim and Jason ended up putting on a nature documentary for Dick to stare at when the edible fully kicked in, and it held his attention until he fell asleep.
And if they ate the other brownies after Dick fell asleep to avoid the situation with anyone else? That was for them to know.
("You mean to tell me that you were high during spider-man??? I was actually concerned for you, you jerk!")