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The cool countertop felt fantastic on his throbbing head. Sure, he could shuffle back into his and Niki’s room, yank all the curtains shut, and hide in bed until he no longer felt like death.
But that was no fun.
Plus, he had a feeling no one would come get him for dinner if he left. He could handle the hangover. It wasn’t even one of the worst ones, but it was bad enough that no one dared try to rope him into helping with dinner or take his seat away from him.
Why they had never bought another stool—or even just a set of chairs—in their years of living in the apartment, Rinne wasn’t sure, but they had three stools in the kitchen. It was normally fine when it was just him and Niki, but even they had their preferences: Niki on the left and Rinne in the middle spot.
It became a bit of a shuffle whenever the rest of Crazy:B came over. He tried to snag the middle seat as soon as he could. It was the prime seat after all since it was just in reach of where Niki set down food, but being in the middle meant he was the last one expected to do anything. No one ever asked the guy in the middle to shuffle out of his seat to go get napkins.
Himeru seemed to have a clear preference as well, folding his jacket and setting it on the right as soon as he got his shoes off. It made sense; it was the closest to the wall and the furthest from the door and appliances, where most of the fun, or chaos as their dear MeruMeru put it, took place. The right seat had a clear view out the window too, perfect for Himeru to stare out of and brood. Though, there were a few times when Himeru had taken his seat, which Rinne swore was out of spite since it only happened whenever they’d had a particularly shitty job.
The last stool, all the way to the left, for Kohaku and Niki to fight over. Granted, they didn’t really fight over it. Niki was usually still cooking something while the rest of them ate, but even if he wasn’t, he was more than happy to let Kohaku sit and eat while he leaned against the island beside him.
If Niki was having a really bad day, sometimes Rinne would happen to need to grab something from their room, letting Kohaku take his spot and leaving the last seat open for Niki.
All things considered, they had a pretty good unspoken system in place. Another stool would be helpful, but he supposed they didn’t really need it. It’d just be money that could be used for better things like food, or beer, or rent, or maybe some pachinko.
Glancing up, he realised not a lot had changed about their apartment since he’d moved in. It was kind of nice, even if some of their appliances were starting to get old. Their apartment was unchanging despite the rest of the world and the idol industry constantly changing around them. It was a nice place to return home to and invite their unitmates over. They sure had all spent lots of time there—lots of good times, lots of not-so-good times.
He groaned, wondering when hangovers started making him sappy.
The door unlocked in the middle of Rinne’s quest to find anything fun to do since Niki had kicked him out of the bedroom. He had enough money for pachinko, but Niki said he would be making dinner after he finished laundry, which had been the whole reason Rinne had been rudely informed that he couldn’t nap in bed. Sure, Rinne could nap on the couch, but it wouldn’t be as nice especially after having started the nap in their cosy bed.
The door shut, and Rinne glanced over, a bit surprised to see a mop of pink hair step inside. It wasn’t that late, and it was the night of Double Face’s last performance. Had Kohaku come straight from the venue?
“Shouldn’t you be out celebratin’ with your other Mama?” he asked, rifling through the fridge for anything good to drink.
Kohaku muttered something as he kicked his shoes off, oddly uncaring that they hit the walls with dull thuds.
“Didn't hear you.” He pulled a beer out from the back of the fridge. “Aha!”
“I said,'' Kohaku repeated, brushing past him. “He left already. He’s sayin’ his byes to Leo.”
He grabbed Kohaku's wrist before the other could get away. “Didn't you learn to say sorry when you run into someone?”
Kohaku tried to yank his wrist back, but he kept a firm hold. “Let go, Rinne.”
“Not ‘til you look at me and say sorry.”
“Sorry.”
“You're not lookin’ at me.”
Kohaku looked up at him, blatantly trying to keep a calm expression.
“You're gonna break your teeth if you clench your jaw like that.”
Kohaku tried to yank his hand back again. “Fuck off.”
“Oh, those are some naughty words—”
“Leave me alone! Why can't— can't ya just quit bein’ a…”
“Kohaku, kid—”
“I ain't a kid!” Kohaku yelled.
Rinne let go of Kohaku's wrist. Sure, he'd pushed Kohaku a bit to try to get him to talk, but he hadn't expected the kid to get so distressed. Even more unexpected was that, instead of storming off like Rinne expected, Kohaku wrapped his arms around him.
Rinne quickly set his beer on the counter so that he could hug Kohaku, and within moments, Kohaku went from stuttered breaths to crying. “Hey, you're alright.”
“I don't—” Kohaku hiccuped. “—don’t get why he left. I complained about the— all the work, but I didn't hate it, or him.”
Rinne hummed, but he didn't say anything more. He didn’t think there was much for him to say. It wasn’t his unit, and anything he had to say wouldn’t be what Kohaku wanted to hear.
He remembered when his duo partner left, but even then, Rinne got to go home to him every night. Based on what he’d overheard the past few meetings, he had a feeling Kohaku didn’t know the next time he’d see Madara.
“Hurts, huh?”
Kohaku nodded, holding onto him tighter.
“Want me to tell you it gets better?”
Kohaku shook his head.
He patted Kohaku’s back and kept his mouth shut for once, biting back the urge to make some sort of joke to try to make the kid laugh.
“Rinne!” Niki called, sounding utterly exasperated from the hallway. To be fair, it wouldn’t be the first—or probably last—time he’d made Kohaku cry.
He shook his head at Niki, whose face softened as he approached quietly.
“Kohaku?” Niki whispered, setting a hand on his shaking shoulder. “Are you okay?”
Kohaku sobbed.
Rinne turned his head and whispered to Niki, “Double Face’s done, and Mikejima’s leavin’ tonight.”
Niki let out a relieved breath, and as much as Rinne agreed that it was for the best that Double Face stopped, at least its nighttime activities, for both Kohaku and Madara’s safety, now wasn’t the time.
He kicked Niki’s leg and patted Kohaku’s back again. “Hey, Kohaku? How ‘bout Niki makes us something good to eat, and I’ll set up the couch for ya to stay the night?”
Kohaku sniffled and let Rinne pull away. He was still crying, and god, the tears rolling down his face really reminded Rinne just how young he was. As he tried to harshly scrub the tears away, Niki frowned and batted his hands away before pulling him into a tight hug.
“You got him?” Rinne asked quietly.
“Yeah.”
Setting up the couch didn’t take too long. Kohaku staying over wasn’t that uncommon, and even Himeru had stayed the night a few times, so they always made sure to have extra pillows and blankets on hand. Niki always made up the couch perfectly, but Rinne did his best to make the couch look cosy for when Kohaku inevitably crashed after dinner. He plugged in a phone charger that someone, probably Kohaku honestly, had left at some point and never took back.
Satisfied with his work, he turned back towards the kitchen. Niki already had something in a pan, moving about the kitchen as he rambled quietly. Kohaku had his back to Rinne, elbow on the countertop and head resting heavily on his hand.
He made sure to be loud enough to not startle the kid: he really didn’t feel like having his arm nearly broken again. He patted Kohaku’s back. “Want a beer?”
Niki whirled around. “Rinne!”
“What? He’s had a rough night.”
“You are not letting him drink. He’s 15.”
Rinne rolled his eyes and sat to Kohaku’s right. “Fine, fine. But can ya be a good wife and pass me my beer?”
Niki huffed but relented, sliding his long-ago opened beer over to him. When he turned back around, Rinne nudged the bottle over to Kohaku. He couldn’t help but chuckle when Kohaku took a sip of it before passing it back.
Niki turned around again and set down two glasses of water—one for Kohaku and one to the left for himself. He studied the situation before asking, quite accusatorily in Rinne’s opinion, “What are you giggling about?”
“Nothing,” he murmured, looking away as he sipped his beer.
He counted it as a win when he noticed a small smile from Kohaku when Niki turned back around.
While Kohaku technically had a birthday party at ES, they decided to hold a proper, non-idol activity related one at his and Niki’s apartment. It was smaller and less overwhelming for Kohaku where he could actually enjoy his birthday with the people he wanted rather than focusing on seeing and entertaining everyone.
It wasn’t a big party: just Crazy:B, Hiiro, and Aira. Sure, they didn’t have enough chairs by any means, but that didn’t seem to bother anyone. Niki, Hiiro, Aira, and Kohaku simply sat on the floor along the imaginary dividing line between the kitchen and living room while he and Himeru sat in their seats at the island. There were plates of snacks all around them, which everyone picked at while playing card games.
Himeru hadn’t been interested, so he simply sat on his phone. He wasn’t fully disengaged though, still making observations and quips as the games went on.
Rinne had tried to play, but he’d been kicked out by Niki for supposedly “cheating” and “for trying to teach kids how to gamble.” That was fine. He could sit with MeruMeru and eat snacks. It was kind of fun to watch, and Kohaku sitting suspiciously close to Aira would be great teasing material in the future.
Plus, there was one more surprise awaiting Kohaku. He couldn’t really take credit for it. It had been all Himeru’s idea actually. The brilliant man contacted Madara, found out he was going to be in Japan, lent him his spare key to the apartment, and made a plan for him to show up during their private birthday celebration. Everything was set up, meaning it was just a waiting game.
Rinne really hoped Madara came through on his promise.
Halfway through the third round of Uno, the doorknob jiggled. Rinne glanced at Himeru, who already had his phone out and recording, held casually as if he were still browsing Hold Hands.
Everyone else had already turned around, watching as the door slowly opened.
“Still room for one more?”
“Madara!” Kohaku threw his hand of cards down and ran over to the door. He stopped directly in front of his old unitmate.
“Ah, Kohaku—!”
Kohaku's hand curled, and after a moment’s hesitation, he pulled back and swung. Madara grunted as Kohaku's fist connected with his shoulder. Right after punching him, Kohaku launched himself into Madara's arms.
Madara laughed, dropping his bags to hug Kohaku back. “Happy birthday!”
“What— I didn’t know ya were gonna be in Japan.”
“I couldn’t miss your special day, could I?” Madara hummed, swinging Kohaku around much to the kid’s dismay.
“Let me down,” Kohaku whined, more like a toddler than the now 16-year-old he was.
“Mmm, but Mama’s missed his little Kohaku.”
“Ya ain’t allowed to call me little on my birthday!” Kohaku managed to kick Madara’s shin, making the other man let him go. His voice then softened, “I’m glad ya came.”
“Yeah!” Niki agreed, hopping up off the floor. “We’ve got plenty of food still if you’re hungry!”
Kohaku nodded. “Ya can play Uno with us too, or ya can sit with Rinne and—”
“Madara!” a shrill version of Kohaku’s voice rang out from Himeru’s phone before it was immediately shut off.
Kohaku whirled around, and oh, he was pissed. “Did ya record that?”
Himeru shrugged, already calmly sat to Rinne’s left. He reached over and grabbed his water again. “Amagi must have.”
“Huh? That’s yer phone!” he argued, plopping down in Himeru’s seat in retaliation.
Himeru held his phone out. “Yes, but the angle is clearly from where you are sitting before you stand. Himeru is sitting to your left.”
“Rinne!”
Rinne leapt up to avoid being attacked by Kohaku. He knew he should’ve been more suspicious when Himeru sat back down in his seat after they’d gotten up to get a better view of the door.
“It couldn't've been me! I don’t know his passcode!”
Madara’s next sentence added him to Rinne’s list of absolute bastards: “I don’t think you need a password to open the camera.”
“Niki, please, c’mon,” he begged, trying to keep the homicidal kid at a safe distance from him. “You know I always sit in the middle. Why the hell would I sit in Himeru’s seat?”
Niki would be added to that list had his confusion not been so genuine. “But we don’t have assigned seats? Don’t we all just sit anywhere?”
It was a Friday night, and Rinne had no plans. He didn’t have quite enough to have a satisfying night at the parlour, but there was a good bit of alcohol in his and Niki’s apartment, some leftovers from last night, and plenty of movies he’d been meaning to watch. Maybe not the most exciting way to start the weekend, but better than sitting around his dorm bored out of his mind.
He stopped in the hallway in front of the apartment door—the sliver underneath revealing that the lights were on inside. Niki was out on an overnight trip with his outdoorsy circle, so he wouldn’t be home. Kohaku had a key, but he hadn’t stopped talking for the past week about his upcoming weekend trip with Aira. Himeru had a key too, but the only time he’d stopped by, he gave an extensive warning followed by an extensive apology.
He quickly opened the door, scanning inside to see if anything was wrong. Lights were on, but nothing appeared to be missing; though it wasn’t like they had much that would be worth stealing. There hadn’t been any sort of Shiina hate-related incident in years either, and he figured it’d been a long time since anyone had even heard of the scandal.
The sudden heaving was definitely concerning though.
“Meru…” he breathed, spotting the seemingly perfect idol gagging into the sink.
Himeru didn’t respond or even acknowledge him in any way. He kept his head bowed, hands curled in a white-knuckle grip around the lip of the counter.
He kicked his shoes off and rushed over to Himeru. “Himeru.”
That got Himeru to look up, but he didn’t look at Rinne. He looked through Rinne.
Then he heaved into the sink again.
“Himeru,” he repeated quietly, hand hovering above one of Himeru’s. He didn’t have to say anything else before Himeru let go of the counter to grip his hand.
Himeru coughed into the sink, but nothing ever came up. Rinne had a bad feeling there was nothing to come up, but he stood beside him, letting his hand be squeezed.
It felt like hours until the coughing finally subsided and Himeru stood from his back-aching position. He looked in Rinne’s direction.
“What the hell happened?” he asked.
“Himeru… Himeru is not doing well.”
“Shit, yeah, I can kinda see that—”
“Himeru is not doing well.”
Oh.
“Alright, Hi— MeruMeru. Sit down, and I’ll get ya some water, okay?”
Himeru nodded, hesitating before letting go of his hand and shuffling around the island and plopping down on the nearest stool.
Rinne kicked the trash can, sliding it closer to Himeru, just in case, and quickly filled a glass with water. He sat beside Himeru. “MeruMeru.”
Himeru’s hand blindly patted around. He set the glass in his hand, but Himeru quickly set it down and took his hand instead.
“I’m still here,” he reassured. “I won’t leave.”
And Rinne kept that promise even though Himeru didn’t respond. He wasn’t foolish enough to expect any sort of answer, so he didn’t ask anything. He simply sat, letting his hand be held in a death grip. He looked away, out the window, to give Himeru at least the illusion of privacy. He didn’t look back even when Himeru began to cry, head down and shoulders shaking.
How Rinne had gotten himself into this situation, he wasn’t sure. That feeling wasn’t necessarily uncommon, but it usually related more to being a bit too drunk, a bit too confident on his bets, or a bit too low on cash.
This time, however, he found himself in the comfort of his own home with the rest of his unit. Niki was rooting through the fridge for dinner ingredients while Himeru was standing beside him, across from where Rinne and Kohaku sat in their spots.
Himeru, the smug bastard, was casually sipping his water. The only betrayal to his ever calm and cool persona was the tiniest bit of sweat beading on his forehead.
“So, Amagi, are you going to try one?” Himeru taunted.
“‘Course I am!” he answered a bit too eagerly. “The real question is will Kohaku?”
Kohaku raised an eyebrow at him, so he mimicked the expression back mockingly. That seemed to have an effect because Kohaku didn’t hesitate to set his phone down and reach to the middle of the counter and pluck a nice red pepper out of the bag Niki had bought.
That was the situation he’d found himself in. They had somehow gone from Niki giving them dinner options based on the ingredients he’d bought to everyone challenging themselves to eat the debatably spicy peppers. Rinne was not a big fan of spice, especially not those damned chilis Niki liked to buy whenever they were on sale, but he wasn’t a man to back down from a challenge.
Niki had already had one, easily cajoled into it by Rinne. The reaction was expected but still underwhelming: he had a comment about the flavour, an idea of a dish to make with it, and a few sips of water. Himeru had barely reacted either besides a simple hum and a request for a glass of water a few seconds later.
“Ya ain’t thinkin’ of backin’ out, are ya?” Kohaku asked, pepper poised like a weapon.
“No way.” He shook his head and reached into the bag. “You know what, you think you’re brave enough to try two?”
Kohaku nodded and grabbed a second pepper.
“Ready?” Niki asked, way too eagerly. He’d even paused prepping for dinner to watch.
As he and Kohaku popped the first peppers into their mouths, Himeru revealed something that really sealed Rinne’s fate: “Doesn’t Oukawa have an advantage?”
“Hm?” Niki hummed.
“Himeru has seen him eat these peppers before.”
“Ooh,” Kohaku sucked in a breath and reached for his soda, taking a long sip. “These ones are real hot, Niki.”
Granted, that felt a bit like a lie considering he had no hesitation to put the second in his mouth.
Rinne, on the other hand, was in absolute and utter hell. His mouth was on fire. He could feel it in his nose, his ears, his whole skull, hell, even his soul was feeling the effects of the damned pepper. He tossed his second one back towards the bag, not giving any shit that it missed.
He did, however, give a shit that Kohaku, the other smug bastard, picked it up off the counter and ate it.
“Fuck—” he coughed. “Fuck you for that.”
Niki howled with laughter. “Kohaku, Kohaku, please, you have to record this.”
“Already—” Kohaku cleared his throat. “Already on it.”
“Get the camera off of me! Ugh, water! Niki, darling, please, water.”
Despite his ceaseless laughter, Niki listened and filled a glass with water, sliding it over to him. He ignored Kohaku and Himeru’s teasing echoes of darling and downed the water. He slid the glass right back to Niki, who thankfully got the hint and refilled it.
Rinne took back all bad things he’d ever said about Himeru because Kohaku was truly the worst bastard of them all as the little shit, while still recording him, took another pepper.
In a horrible move that he would regret immediately and in the future, he copied Kohaku.
“Shit—”
“The hell did ya do that for?” Kohaku questioned, sipping on his soda.
“You’re the one who decided to show off!” he explained between coughs.
“Nahaha, he’s redder than his hair!”
He flipped Niki off, unable to bite back a retort or even say anything. He didn’t think he’d be heard over Niki and Kohaku’s laughter.
And Himeru’s.
That was something. He’d never seen it before—though he could barely see through his tears—but Himeru was laughing hard. So hard in fact that he and Niki were holding onto each other, doubled over at Rinne’s misery. While nothing could have made that experience worth it in any sort of way, Rinne did have to admit it was nice to see the more human side of Himeru.
He’d done it.
It’d be all over tomorrow, and then there’d be nothing left to go but go home.
He’d miss the city, he’d miss the sights and sounds, he’d miss the vices, he’d miss the alcohol and pachinko, he’d miss the people, he’d miss Himeru and Kohaku. He’d miss Niki.
Niki.
Niki, who picked him, a stranger, up years ago off the street. Niki, who gave him the last of his food. Niki, who let him stay despite having little—or nothing really—to offer. Niki, who helped him research idols and get in contact with as many as they could so that Rinne could become an idol. Niki, who himself became an idol, even if only for a short time, to help Rinne. Niki, who stuck by his side during every high and low. Niki, who helped him no matter what state he came back in. Niki, who picked him up when he was in such a state that he was unable to make it back home. Niki, who returned to idol work to form Crazy:B with not so much as a question—just a few complaints.
He wasn’t going to see Niki again, not after ES ran him out of town and he returned home. Even if he ever did come back, who knew if Niki would still want to see him?
He hadn’t told Niki what he was planning to do. He couldn’t; otherwise, Niki, hell even the rest of Crazy:B, would probably try to go down with him. This was for him to bear alone. He’d make a final show of it, and then he’d disappear like he’d never been there in the first place.
“Nahaha, you look like you’re moping!” Niki teased, far too close to his ear.
Rinne lifted a hand up to blindly bat at him, refusing to pick his head up from the countertop. He was closer to tears than he’d admit. Niki being around was the best and worst thing at the moment.
God, he couldn’t tell Niki.
All Niki would have to do is ask him to stay, and he’d be so weak.
He didn’t want to be yet another person abandoning Niki.
But he had to.
He’d made his choice, and he could only pray that Niki would forgive him.
No, that didn’t matter.
He could only pray that the rest of Crazy:B would keep Niki happy, keep him from being all alone again.
“Rinne?” Niki asked, poking his cheek gently. “Rinne, you’re being all weird. Hm… are you hungry? I know I am!”
Leave it to Niki to always be thinking of food.
“Rinne, you’re worrying me…”
“‘M fine,” he grumbled, voice more rough than he’d meant it.
“Are you hungover again?”
He didn’t respond. He wasn’t hungover, but maybe it was best if Niki thought he was. Better than having to talk, but maybe he should talk to Niki. This would be the last night in the apartment together, and he had no clue how much alone time he'd get with Niki, if he even got any, before he had to go.
Niki huffed, “Of course, you’re hungover. Don’t you remember what tomorrow is? Whatever. I’m in a really good mood, so I’ll cook whatever you’d like!”
Rinne listened to the clinks of glasses before the faucet turned on full blast. Moments later, a glass slid across the countertop until it reached him, chill seeping into his arm.
“But you gotta tell me what you want. I’m not a mind reader, you know.”
Maybe he was feeling a bit sappy, thinking about all the times he and Niki had, but he knew what he wanted.
“Can you…” he cleared his throat. “Can we have nikujaga?”
“Nikujaga? You don’t want pizza? You always want pizza when you’re hungover!”
“Guess you’re really not a mind reader then, huh?”
“And to think I wanted to be nice to you!” Niki walked away and pried open the squeaky cabinet door, bags rustling around as he shuffled through everything. “I can make nikujaga.”
“Thanks.”
Everything went quiet.
“What?”
Rinne lifted up his head, squinting at the bright lights. “What?”
“You never say thank you.”
“What’s the problem?”
Niki studied him closely, eyebrows furrowed. “Are you sure you’re feeling alright?”
“I’ll be fine.”
“Are you tired from all the stuff we’ve been doing?” Niki complained, “It’s so much work, huh? I don’t get how they can do that to us! Ugh, just thinking about it makes me hungry— right, nikujaga!”
“Thought you didn’t want to be nice to me anymore,” he teased.
Niki shrugged. “Something’s wrong. I can’t make you tell me what, but I can at least make you something. Food makes everything better!”
Rinne hummed in agreement. He didn’t hide his head again, wanting to watch Niki flit about the kitchen. Niki hummed quietly to himself with a smile as he worked. Rinne wasn’t sure if Niki knew he did that. He figured he’d only get made fun of for ‘paying such close attention to something like that’ if he brought it up, even if it was meant to tease Niki.
If he couldn’t say anything about it, he could at least do his best to remember it.
Two plates of nikujaga—not quite the same ingredients as the first time but undoubtedly just as tasty—were set on the counter. Niki hopped to sit up on the stool to his left, rough action causing the stool to slide closer to Rinne.
Niki didn’t correct it, nor did Rinne.
So that’s how they sat, shoulder to shoulder, and ate their last nikujaga.
“Oi, Niki!” Rinne called from where he was lazing about on the couch. He’d heard Niki come in a few minutes ago, which was surely more than enough time to get his shoes and jacket off. “Our show’s on, and I ain’t pausin’ it if ya don’t hurry up!”
“Rinne.”
It was all Niki said, but the urgency and slight waver in his tone was enough to have Rinne hopping off the couch and into the kitchen. Niki looked at him, eyes wide and holding an envelope in trembling hands. In his place, all Rinne could see was a younger, shorter, thinner Niki.
It had apparently slowed down by the time that Rinne had met him, but the Shiinas used to receive hate mail: all of them cruel but some more dangerous than others. It terrified the hell out of Niki, and Rinne would never forget the tears and panic whenever one of those letters made it to their door. It hadn’t happened in so long that Rinne had nearly convinced himself that it was long behind them.
“Niki.”
The envelope had already been cut open, but there were no tears in Niki’s eyes as he held it out to Rinne.
“Rinne,” Niki repeated as if it were the only word he knew.
Rinne carefully took the envelope and tossed it onto the counter. He checked over Niki’s hands and studied his unreadable expression. “Are you okay?”
“The letter—”
“What happened?”
Niki shook his head and picked up the envelope again, holding it out to him.
Unlike the unassuming hate mail that used to come to their door, this envelope looked more like some bill or CosPro contract. When he looked closer, it seemed to have actually been forwarded to them from CosPro. Niki surely hadn’t done anything, and even he had been on his best behaviour, so why was CosPro sending them something?
“The letter.”
Rinne hastily yanked the letter out and glanced over it. It definitely wasn’t from anyone at CosPro unless their agent suddenly decided to use crinkled pink paper with glitter all over it and a bright green pen. Maybe that would motivate him to actually read what they had to say.
Rinne & Niki,
He scanned the rest of the letter before starting back from the top.
Rinne & Niki,
Rinne & Niki,
Rinne & Niki,
Fanmail.
There wasn’t a hint of disdain or sarcasm in any word—simply an excited fan expressing their love for their favourite duo. Rinne couldn’t believe it. They’d never received any sort of fanmail before. He knew they had fans, but there was something about the pink and green eyesore of a letter, the recount of the first show this person went to, and the adoring explanation of just how important Rinne and Niki’s music was to them.
“Rinne.”
He beamed at Niki. “Kyahaha, we’ve really done it!”
This time, Niki took the letter and tossed it onto the counter before launching himself at Rinne, who caught him with practised ease. Niki was shaking, but Rinne was sure he was too as he clung onto Niki. Even though they said nothing, the kitchen was loud with the sound of their laughter.
They’d done it.
They were idols.
Rinne wasn’t sure if he’d ever come home to such a scene before—maybe a long, long time ago right when they’d first met. Even so, he couldn’t recall a time he’d come into the apartment and found Niki, sat at the island with his head in his hands, crying.
He’d seen Niki sad, lonely, angry, and every other negative emotion, but Niki didn’t cry. He considered it a waste of calories, always saying that instead of crying he should conserve his energy and spend time doing something productive like planning what to eat and finding special ingredients for said plans.
He took his shoes off quietly and even hung his jacket on the hook instead of tossing it on his stool before approaching the other. He set a hand on Niki’s shoulder and whispered his name.
Niki scrubbed his eyes and lifted his head up, plastering a smile on his face.
Rinne frowned at him, and Niki let the smile fall.
“My parents—” Niki swallowed. “My parents called.”
“Mhm?”
“They bought a house.”
“In America?”
Niki nodded and echoed him, “In America.”
It was his turn to nod, waiting for Niki to continue and hopefully explain what the problem was. Niki was an adult with a job and had been paying rent for years now, so there couldn’t be any issue with the apartment. He was pretty sure it had been switched to one of their names already anyway.
“They’re not coming back.”
“Niki…”
Niki clenched his jaw for a moment before huffing, “I know it’s stupid. I knew they weren’t going to come back, but… but— maybe? I hoped maybe they would or at least come visit or come back, or something. It’s stupid, I know, I’m stupid—”
He interrupted Niki’s rant, “You’re not stupid.”
Niki continued on, “They’re not coming back, Rinne.”
“...I know.”
“And— and I knew it too. I knew they weren’t, but I thought maybe because they just were going from place to place. But now they have a house.”
“Now it’s real.”
Niki covered his face and nodded. “And I can’t blame them. There’s nothing for them here—”
“You’re here.”
“They can’t be expected just to stay for one person.”
Well, I did, and you did for me.
As much as Rinne was selfishly glad Niki’s parents never took him with them all those years ago, he certainly had a few opinions about the reality that they didn’t and left their child alone for years, regardless of what generous teachers and neighbours supposedly existed.
“But I thought even if they didn’t come back forever, they’d at least visit,” Niki whispered. “They’ve got a house now though, so they’ll be busy for a while… and they haven’t before. I don’t know why I thought…”
He hummed.
“They’re happy, Rinne.” Happy without me, Rinne knew was the end of that sentence.
“Niki,” he sighed.
Niki sniffled, “I know the Shiina name isn’t something they want here, and it doesn’t help that I’m an idol now with my name plastered everywhere, but…”
“You being an idol isn’t the reason they won’t come back. You’re not the problem, and you never were.”
“You don’t know that!” Niki froze. “Sorry—”
“It’s okay.”
“Please, don’t leave tonight.”
“I won’t,” he promised.
“Please.”
“I’m right here. I’ll make you dinner— and clean up,” he added before Niki could complain; though Rinne had a feeling he wouldn’t have tonight. “And we’ll hang out on the couch, or go to bed if you’re tired.”
“There should be some leftover curry to reheat.”
“You don’t trust me makin’ ya anything?”
“Don’t wanna waste ingredients when nothing sounds good.”
He nodded and dug through the fridge for the leftover curry. He wasn’t the biggest fan of it, but that was the least of his concerns at the moment. He just focused on reheating it and throwing it on two plates. He dragged his stool closer to Niki’s before sitting down. Their arms pressed together as they ate, and Niki let his head rest against Rinne’s shoulder any time he wasn’t taking another bite.
“Bed or couch?” he asked after dinner while he washed their plates as promised.
“Whichever,” Niki murmured, eyes shut. He hadn’t cried for a while, but his eyes were still red and puffy, and he didn’t look far off from crying all over again.
“Bed it is,” he decided, drying his hands before picking Niki up.
Instead of the usual protest, Niki just wrapped his arms around Rinne’s neck, just another piece of damning evidence that Niki was really not doing well. Even though it wasn’t okay now, it would be. Rinne would make sure of it. He’d stay and take care of his Niki until he felt better.
Rinne had seen Niki smile and laugh plenty of times, but there was no definitive moment of pure happiness that he could pin. There must have been times when Niki had been truly happy. Maybe he just hadn’t been there for it, but they were together more often than not. Surely, Niki was happy with him.
Surely, Niki was happy.
Right?
He lifted his head up, sitting up straight. “Niki?”
Niki looked up at him, still stirring. “Hm?”
“Are you happy?”
Niki’s eyebrows furrowed for a moment before he smiled brightly and nodded, “Mhm! I’m super happy!”
“Why?”
Kohaku gave him a look as he passed by. “Do you not want him to be happy?”
He made a half-ass swipe for the back of Kohaku’s head, which was easily dodged. “‘Course I want him to be happy.”
“Then why are you questioning Shiina’s happiness, Amagi?”
“Because he’s always smilin’, doesn’t matter if it’s just a regular day or whatever, and he never wants anything special.”
Niki shrugged. “I don’t need anything special.”
“But—”
“Can you pass me a spatula, Himeru?” Niki asked, interrupting him. “Thank you.”
“Niki—”
Niki looked at him with a soft smile. “I’ve already got everything that makes me happy. I don’t need anything fancy. We have money to put food on the table every day, I’ve got a warm bed every night, and we’re not alone anymore, Rinne. And I'm cooking with my favourite people. What more could I want?”
Kohaku scrunched his nose and pretended to gag. “Ugh, can ya be any less sappy with him? You’re making me and Himeru sick.”
“Do not speak for Himeru, Oukawa,” Himeru scolded, not bothering to hide his amusement. “But Himeru does agree with your sentiment.”
“I was just answering his question!”
“Could ya do it in less of a gay way?”
“Who are you callin’ gay?” Rinne asked.
Kohaku raised an eyebrow at him. “Ya have one bed and are attached at the hip.”
“You and Shiina also bicker like a married couple,” Himeru added.
“And you keep trying to marry me!”
“And one day I’ll succeed,” he cackled.
“Ya know what would probably make Niki real happy?”
“Hm?”
“If ya got off yer ass and helped us out,” Kohaku snarked.
“Oh, ya want me to get up?” he asked, slowly standing up from his stool.
Kohaku set the spoon down and hid behind Himeru.
“Aww, cute, but hiding behind MeruMeru won’t do you any good. He isn’t gonna use that knife to protect you,” he cooed, starting to chase Kohaku when the other tried to make a run for the door.
As he continued to taunt and chase Kohaku around the apartment, he caught snippets of Himeru and Niki's conversation.
“Shiina, do you still stand behind your statement that this is what makes you happiest?”
“Yeah,” Niki answered, then sighed when Rinne finally caught Kohaku, causing the kid to scream. “Unfortunately.”