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They didn't know, afterwards, who to blame – James for playing with the empty cerveza bottle in the first place, or Sam for getting the idiotic idea. Or everyone else for playing along.
They were in the lounge, more than a few drinks down, and in the middle of a serious debate about Shepard's status – was he the embodiment of Hope, avatar of Charm, or concentration of Badassery of their cycle.
“Come on, he ended a war with a speech!” Joker defended his position.
“But uniting the Krogan and Turian is definite Badassery,” James maintained.
“But curing the genophage can also be seen as a sign of hope instead of charming the parties to agree,” Liara reminded.
“Don't mind me, I'm just going to sit here and drink my beer,” Shepard said, leaning further back towards the sofa.
There was not enough room on the two sofas in the lounge for everyone so he had sat down on the floor, leaning on the sofa behind him. If this allowed him to surreptitiously lean on Kaidan, well, no one needed to know. And if it Kaidan decided to rest his hand against his back, then no one was the wiser.
It was possible that EDI knew about them, but as Shepard's cabin was off-limits for her surveillance, even that wasn't certain. He was also counting on the fact that she was loyal enough to keep quiet about it if she did know. As for the others... if two Spectres couldn't conduct a clandestine affair on a ship the size of Normandy, they needed to hand in their metaphorical badges.
Kaidan's fingers moved a little on his shoulder blade as a reaction to his words. As much as he was enjoying the rare peaceful moment in the war he was also thinking longingly about his own cabin where he could kiss the other man openly, hold him as close as he wanted, and do other things he really shouldn't be thinking about in a place as public as this.
“I'm not saying he's not Badass. I'm just saying that he can charm the pants off anyone, literally or figuratively,” Joker elaborated.
That was when Sam noticed James was spinning his empty beer bottle on the sofa table.
“Oooh, James wants to play Spin the Bottle!” she said, cheekily.
“What is that?” asked Liara curiously.
“We'll show you!” Sam suggested.
“Seriously, guys, Spin the Bottle?” Kaidan asked, amused. “What are we, twelve?”
“It wouldn't be fair to Tali,” Shepard said.
“Not that I know why, and I'm not sure I even want to, but that is not something you need to worry about. Tali seems to have signed out for the night,” Garrus said, looking down at the Quarian by his side.
“She okay?” Shepard asked.
“Just sleeping off the Turian brandy,” Garrus explained, wrapping his arm more comfortably around her.
“EDI, you playing?” Sam asked, smirking.
“If Jeff doesn't mind,” she replied.
“Why would he mind?” Liara asked.
“I took the liberty of learning about the... game in question, and as we have not discussed the limits of our relationship I do not know how he would react to me kissing someone else.”
“Kissing?” asked Garrus.
“Yes. Kissing. You spin the bottle, and you get to kiss the person it ends up pointing at,” Sam explained, grinning.
“I'm not sure we're drunk enough for this,” Shepard said.
“That's easy to fix,” James said, and bounced up from his seat to hand out more drinks, and threw another bottle of beer at Shepard, who caught it smoothly. “Who wants to start?”
“I think it's only fair it's you, Vega, seeing as how eager you were,” Sam said, grinning.
“Fine, but if I get you, it's tongues.”
This was either going to be fun, or a complete disaster.
“Fine, we can do this, on one condition,” Shepard said, solemnly. “We don't ever let Javik into this room. We'd never hear the end of it.”
James spun the bottle so vigorously it ended up on the floor. His next attempt was more successful... even if it stopped on Garrus.
“No. No way.”
“Come on, Scars!” With a shit-eating grin James leaned over and smacked a loud kiss on his nose.
Shepard took a sip out of his bottle to stop from laughing at Garrus' offended expression. The Turian let out a long-suffering sigh of an adult in a children's party before reaching for the bottle and giving it a half-hearted push.
He got Sam, who got up and perched on Garrus' lap.
“Come on, soldier, show me what you've got.”
Garrus dipped her like a vid hero, somehow managing to hold on to Tali while doing so, and gave her as much of a kiss as his Turian facial structure allowed. It was a miracle that the following applauds and whistles didn't wake Tali.
“Go, Scars!” James shouted, slapping him on the back.
Sam sat down with a satisfied grin and had a drink before reaching for the bottle. James and Joker shouted with glee when she got Liara.
Even Shepard was surprised when Liara accepted the kiss calmly, and even opened her mouth for the other woman. It was the longest kiss yet, and Shepard was enough of a guy to join in on the appreciative shouts. Kaidan used the distraction to rest his hand on the back of his neck, and Shepard leaned a little into the touch, shivering as his skin remembered everything those fingers could do.
Liara looked perfectly composed when the kiss was over, but even her calm was rattled when her spin ended up pointing at Shepard. He cursed in his head. He was quite sure Liara was over the crush she'd had on him when they first travelled together but this was bound to be awkward.
Then she smiled and he smiled back, reaching up to give her a friendly peck on the lips.
“Hey, that's cheating!” James said, conveniently forgetting his own brief kiss on Garrus.
“So you think we need a tongues-only rule?” Sam asked, sweetly.
“Yeah, why not,” James said, obviously drunk enough to not think the possible consequences through.
So it was only fair that Shepard got him with his spin. It wasn't clear which was louder, the gleeful catcalls from others, or the swearing in Spanish from James. Shepard got up with the widest grin he could get his face to make, and felt a quick tap on his backside from Kaidan as a silent encouragement to silence the Lieutenant with style.
“Oh no, no, no, Loco,” James was saying, hands up as if warding off an attack.
Shepard pulled him up with a firm grip on his biceps, then let his right hand slide up to his neck and the back of his hair before sealing his lips against the protesting mouth. He gave it his all, and if there was one thing he was good at besides being the galactic saviour then it was kissing. He plundered the unresisting mouth with his tongue, and before long he felt the other man responding, first shyly, then with more attention, and his hands came to rest on Shepard's waist.
After a while Shepard pulled back to meet the startled gaze of his lieutenant.
“Holy hell, sir,” he said, quietly, then visibly shook himself before grinning. “Okay, I get it, I concur. Avatar of Charm. Even my body's getting a little confused, here.”
Shepard sauntered back to his place, sharing a grin with Kaidan under the cover of general reactions to their display. He sat down even closer to Kaidan's legs, wanting to show the other man where his true interest lay – not that there seemed to be any hard feelings, judging from the grin and the hand that immediately returned to its previous position against his back.
“Want to rescind that tongue-only rule, Mr Vega?” Steve asked cheekily.
“Oh no, if I had to go through that, everyone else will, too.”
James got Steve, who treated him to a similar experience as Shepard.
“Not you too, Esteban!”
It went on, good-humouredly, more or less the same. Joker and Garrus' kiss was something to behold, though, and trying to French kiss EDI seemed to be an interesting challenge. Watching Kaidan kiss Liara, Steve and Sam was... well, damn hot. He wasn't jealous, he knew he had no reason to be, it just made him long to be the one feeling those familiar lips against his. He had first hand knowledge as to how good he was in using them, after all.
Then it was Shepard's turn, as Liara had gotten him again. He spun Kaidan, and froze for a second. Then he decided – be it the drink or the fact he had had to kiss pretty much everyone but the person he really wanted to all night – that he was done with hiding. He would not do this pretending he didn't know what he was doing.
He turned, slowly, getting up on his knees, and shared a look with Kaidan. His asked, are you with me, and Kaidan's smile answered, always. Slowly he wound his hand into the dark hair he loved to muss, and they leaned toward each other before meeting in a slow, languorous kiss, tongues coming to play together.
They were in no rush, and enjoyed something they usually didn't have time for – too desperate to use their rare quiet moments in bed, in decidedly hungrier kisses. The room went completely silent as it came obvious that they were very familiar with the activity, nipping at each other's lips and smiling into the kiss.
“Hey, Major By-the-Books, aren't there some regs against stuff like that? Fraternisation?” Joker asked, hovering between dumbfounded and amused, and at least that answered the question about EDI's silence – if she hadn't told Joker, she wouldn't have told anyone. If she even had known.
“Spectre,” said Kaidan against Shepard's lips, raising his hand.
“Spectre,” said Shepard, raising his own hand, smiling against his smile, before returning to the kiss and returning the hand to lie against Kaidan's chest, feeling for the comforting and familiar heartbeat.
“Aaand I think we're done with the game,” said Sam.
“Good,” said Shepard, pulling back but keeping his eyes on Kaidan. “Please excuse us.”
Everyone knew now, no reason not to leave together and make their way openly to the captain's quarters. He got up, grinning widely, and pulled Kaidan after him, hand in hand.
“Next time it's Truth or Dare,” James shouted after them.
“Enquiring minds want to know!” Sam joined in.
“There's porn on the extranet, kids,” Kaidan shouted back.
They almost ran into a crew member who was trying to get to the restroom, and Shepard considered letting go of Kaidan's hand. They'd know soon enough, with their blabbermouth friends, he decided, so he just kept grinning, and pulled Kaidan into the elevator, kissing him against the wall even before the doors had closed.