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“Scratch?” She asks one night. It’s a usual occurrence. So usual he doesnt even bother to open his eyes, he already knows she’s staring at him. Now that summer has set in, his dollshouse feels too stuffy, so he’s switched back to his breezy hammock in the corner of her room. The downside of that is that the kid now thinks every night is a sleepover.
‘You’ve got school tomorrow’ he almost reminds her, but the thought of saying something so parental aloud makes him cringe. She’d never let him live that down. Instead, he just turns to face away from her and mumbles back “Make it quick, kiddo. There’s a taco dream callin’ my name…”
“Right, right!” The sound of the bed creaking as she shifts. “I was just wondering…” Of course. Always with the wondering. Why can’t she be more like him? He never wonders or reflects on anything and he’s doing just fine!
(He doesn’t say this. Her sappy act really has wormed its way into his heart, because he knows he’d never want her to change).
More shifting. She’s either nervous or she had one too many of Darryl’s energy drinks earlier. Hard to tell with her. Eventually, after a while of annoying bed creaking as she tries to get comfortable, she asks “Do you think we’d still be friends in another life?”
A long pause. “…Wha’?” He mumbles groggily, trying to process the question. She huffs in annoyance at his tone.
“I mean- if, if I never came to Brighton or maybe if I was a ghost or-“
“Woah, woah!” He sits up, suddenly alarmed. “Whats this about you becoming a ghost?”
“I dont mean I want to, Scratch!” She waves her arms, looking impatient with him. He can’t help a hidden relieved sigh. Flopping back onto her pillow, the girl holds her hands up to the glow-stars on her ceiling, staring at them. “I just mean, if things were different. If everything was different. …Do you think we’d still find each other?”
Taken aback by the oddly philosophical nature of her proposition, Scratch leans back in his hammock. And for once… he wonders.
“…Maybe.” Is his eventual answer. It’s softer than intended and he can’t help the little bit of warmth in his core. Her suggestion sounds absurd but…the idea of existing without Molly sounds even moreso. “…I think I like that idea.” He whispers, gently rocking himself as a smile graces his face. “Soulmates sounds nice…” The thought that all that time he spent alone wasn’t for naught and that there was always someone coming to save him is comforting in a way he’s unused to. As though he’s experiencing weightlessness for the first time again. It’s ridiculous because he isn’t anymore but… to retroactively make past him less alone feels…healing.
“I don’t.” Molly whispers back. He’s snapped back into full lucidity and he looks over at her incredulously (and perhaps a little disappointed).
“Then why ask about them?” He almost snaps. Sometimes the kid can be a mystery wrapped in an enigma. Is she just trying to keep him awake because she can’t sleep?
“I didn’t. I said would we find each other.”
“What’s the-?!”
“The difference is intent.” She doesn’t meet his eye, instead focusing on her clasped hands as she holds them over the edge of her bed. She looks disappointed, like she already knows he won’t understand her. He isn’t fond of the assumption. “…I don’t think soulmates exist. I’ve waited for mine to show up for years… When I was alone all that time traveling, I kept thinking, ‘there’s someone out there who’s destined to be my forever friend and I’m gonna find them this time for sure!’ And…”
Oh…
Scratch swings himself up to a sit so he can look at her. She looks so…defeated and sad as she lays there, not even looking him. It’s wrong. Viscerally wrong.
The end of her sentence goes unspoken. She knows he knows. Instead, she glances up at him under sleepy, half-lidded eyes. “But…promising to find someone isn’t the same. At least I don’t think. Fate brings soulmates together. It has to happen no matter what, so it’s easy to not try…” He’d…never thought of it that way. “But finding someone is a choice. If we’re brought back, we could go through our lives and never see each other again. Nothing would stop us. But…if we do come back, I know I’ll miss you. Even if I don’t know it’s you anymore.” She smiles slightly at him with a little giggle, her gaze impossibly fond. He feels almost sick with affection. “I’d seek you out. Whatever it takes. Every time.”
He chokes on the lump in her throat when he goes to respond. As in sync as ever, Molly holds a hand up to indicate he doesn’t need to. “It’s ok, I know I’m being…really heavy and deep right now.” She huffs a little laugh to herself, looking down at her lap in embarrassment. “I’ve never really talked to anyone about this because it feels silly. I think some people do meet over and over again. I just don’t think it’s fate.” She furrows her brows. “Living is hard. Friendships are hard and enhappifying is hard. It takes work! …I can’t really believe the world will just give me what I want anymore. But I can work for it.” She looks up at him shyly.
“…You want me to work for us too.”
Her eyes widen, as if not expecting him to read her that well. (She should know better by now that they’re linked). Then her expression softens and she nods. “…Yeah. If that’s not too much…?”
“Nothing’s too much for you, Moll.”
Her eyes sparkle and one of those sweet, wide smiles parts her lips. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.” Softly, he lets out a little sigh as he settles back into his hammock. He stays watching her fondly the whole time. “‘Course. You’re my best friend.”
“And you’re mine! …” She looks down, her smile growing wider and touched. “No one’s ever worked for me before…”
“Wait, really?!” He sits up in alarm. Well that doesn’t make any sense! She’s…well, she’s Molly!
“I mean- my family has obviously!” She holds her hands up defensively, seeming to regret having spoken. “I just mean…I don’t know…” Curling up, she hugs her knees to her chest and lets her hair cover her face. “I haven’t had long term friends since I was…really young. I know most of them liked playing with me but…I don’t think they’d ever go out of their way for me. I never…I never had the chance to get close to a friend like that. And…”
Hesitantly, he floats down to her level. “…And?”
“…And I’ve always felt like…I give so much more than I get. Is that selfish?!” She looks up at him anxiously, cringing at her own admission. “I just- people always tell me I’m too much and I know I am but I don’t know how to be chill when I know I have to make every second count! And- and even when I think I’ve really made a connection, they always stop keeping in contact before me…” Though she’s blinking away tears, she doesn’t look as sad as one would expect. Just…very defeated. She’s used to it. And that breaks Scratch’s heart more.
He didn’t used to be one for hugs but they’ve really grown on him. Molly leans against his ectoplasm as he pulls her close, keeping her blanket around her shoulders to protect her at least somewhat from his chill. “…You just wanted someone to care as much as you did, huh?” He whispers, regret and sadness dripping from his tone. She whimpers and nods into his shoulder, prompting him to squeeze her closer. She wanted to know someone would choose to come and find her…
He thinks about little Molly out there, in some other strange body, in a world she doesn’t recognise. He thinks about her all alone in this great big world and her wishing, hoping that someone will care enough to come and find her. Then he thinks about her now, doing everything in her power to be important to the living world as if she’s already preparing for that day. That maybe, if she does everything right, at least one person will remember her and she won’t be that lonely, forgettable child anymore.
Molly never did anything right with him. She broke into his home, disrespected his boundaries, uprooted his life, nearly got him sentenced to The Flow Of Failed Phantoms multiple times, shoved him again and again out of his comfort zone…
And he knows he would find her to do it all again every single time.
“I’d come find you, Moll.” He whispers against her hair. It’s rare saying the right thing to her when she’s upset is so simple. It’s a fact he knows as well as he knows the sky is blue. “Even if I have to cross the whole world.”
“Even the ocean?” She sniffles.
“Especially the ocean. And mountains and valleys and lakes. Heck, I’ll even pass up snack breaks for you!” A giggle. Pulling back, Molly nuzzles his face sweetly, like a lost puppy. He holds her close like one, not willing to let go. “You told me, remember? We’re never gonna be apart and that’s final.”
“Thanks Scratch. …I’d look for you too.”
It doesn’t need to be said, but he appreciates it anyway. Maybe, even without their souls being linked, Molly was already looking for him and he was still never truly alone. After all, who’s to say they haven’t already met and made this pact before?
“It’s possible.” Molly mumbles into his shoulder, evidence of him thinking aloud again. “You’ll think this is silly, but I always felt this pull towards Brighton as soon as I heard of it. I somehow just…knew things would be right here. But Dad says that’s just because I was excited about a forever home…”
“Do you think that’s what it was?”
A pause. He thinks she’s embarrassed. “…No.”
“Well what does your dad know anyway?” Scratch runs his fingers through her hair encouragingly. “It’s your soul.” Feeling her drooping further and further against him, he pulls back and lays the girl back down on her pillow. As he tucks her in, she blinks at him with earnest, if tired, eyes.
“Do you think we’ve met before?”
He pauses, hands still on the blanket. “…Im gonna be honest, kid, if we have I don’t remember it. But, I don’t remember much.” He shrugs. “Maybe you’re just more in-tune with this whole thing than me. I’ve never really been all that spiritual-“ A giggle. “-well, y’know in that sense.” He smiles, amused at the pun, before ruffling Molly’s hair and giving her one last wink.
“…But I wouldn’t rule it out.”
-
Fran kicks a can aimlessly along the path as she skips. Aimless. Restless. That’s what she’s always been. There’s something missing and- and she doesn’t really know what. It’s frustrating. Walking has always felt like progress towards that something at least, even if she’s not old enough to actually go anywhere.
As the leaves crunch under her feet, she passes a buggy facing the opposite direction. It blends in with the shadows of the treeline and, really, it barely registers to her.
…Barely, but it does.
Something about it makes her stop in place, and she looks over her shoulder slowly. Confused. She’s never been fond of little kids, but she finds that, in this case, she needs to investigate. …Or maybe she just wants to. Who knows.
Trying not to alert the mother as she talks to someone nearby, Fran peaks her head into the buggy, pigtails dangling just out of the tykes reach.
“Uh. Hey, little guy.”
A pair of big brown eyes focus up on her, blocking the sun. The baby’s dummy pops out and a trail of spittle runs down their chin, for a moment startling her into thinking they’re going to cry. She flinches, ready to cover her ears but… Strangely, the baby is silent. They just stare up at her like she hung the stars, before shooting her the widest, gummiest, most excited smile Fran has ever seen. Almost like they’ve been waiting for her.
She can’t help but feel compelled to smile back.