Work Text:
In his brief life and much longer afterlife, Edwin Payne had more than lived up to his surname. As a child (though he will always be sixteen, he always thought of himself as a child before and during his first stint in Hell), he knew the pain of bullying and then the suffering of the damned. With every new torture that the demons inflicted upon him, he thought he had experienced the worst agony possible. And each time, he was proven wrong.
His return to the mortal plane was an unexpected reprieve, one that promised a lonely afterlife, but one free of Hell’s agonies. He could help lost souls and bring them peace while evading Death. Maybe if he helped enough souls, he could make a case for clemency. It wasn’t like he was meant to be in Hell in the first place. Even the demon apologized and said he was there on a technicality.
And then he met Charles. Kind, compassionate Charles who stood up for the kids who were different and died for it. He chose to stay with Edwin instead of going to his eternal reward. And Edwin loved him for it.
He loved him.
And he didn’t know what to do with that information. He didn’t even realize the kind of love he felt for Charles until the Cat King implied it and then Monty spelled it out for him in a fit of anger.
The Crow’s betrayal hurt him. It wasn’t the worst pain he’d ever felt, but it still stung.
And then he was dragged to Hell again. For a moment, when the Night Nurse said she would try to plead his case, he had hope, only for it to be crushed by the demon snatching him before Charles’s eyes.
In some ways, Hell was worse the second time. He knew what to expect, but it didn’t make the agony of being ripped apart and devoured any easier. The reprieve on earth only seemed to heighten the pain. Seeing Simon and getting closure with him helped ease some old wounds while the confession to Charles gave him the gift of finally accepting himself. And although Charles didn’t love him the way that Edwin loved him, their relationship was all the stronger for it.
Saying goodbye to Crystal hurt a little more than he expected. But they were still going to be closeby. He understood the need to figure out oneself after going through a soul-rending trauma. Against his better judgment, though, he would miss her.
Then, Esther the Witch attacked, captured him and Charles, and hooked him up to some kind of machine that stole his soul’s very essence. It made his tortures in Hell feel quaint in comparison. He was being ripped apart atom by atom, and for the first time in a long time, he screamed, he begged, he promised anything to make it stop.
But he would gladly walk into Hell again or strap himself to the machine if it meant that he could have one more conversation with Niko Sasaki. Watching Niko be stabbed through the chest, seeing the light disappear from her eyes, it was even worse agony than Esther’s machine or Hell’s worst tortures.
It was all his fault. She came to rescue him and then she died. It wasn’t fair. She deserved so much better. Niko was kind and did nothing but spread goodness in the world. She truly saw him in a way that even Charles didn’t see him and the world needed that light. But she was gone.
Edwin was a resilient soul. It was why Esther chose him for her machine. But even the strongest souls break eventually.
…
“Edwin. Edwin, are you with me, mate?” Charles shook his best friend, but he was unresponsive. They were waiting outside for the ambulance to come when Edwin went unsettlingly silent.
When he was fresh out of Hell, it happened from time to time, usually when he was viscerally reminded of his imprisonment. Ghosts couldn’t sleep, but when they’d been through too much horror, they would shut down. This was incredibly dangerous, because he could start to fray at the seams and split apart as his mind and his soul tried and failed to process the immense amount of trauma he had gone through.
Luckily, they had a system. “Alright, mate, I’m gonna put you in the bag, okay? I'll meet you in there in a few, but I need to talk to Crystal and make sure she’s okay first.”
Unsurprisingly, Edwin didn’t respond. He rarely did when he went into states like this. Opening the bag, Charles helped Edwin step inside before slinging it over his shoulder.
Crystal was waiting by the front door for paramedics, tears still streaming down her cheeks. “Where’s Edwin? Is he okay?”
“His corporeal form was starting to unravel. It’s scary, but it’s happened before, so we have a system." Charles patted the bag. "He’s safe in here, but you might not see much of us in the next few days.” The quiet devastation on Crystal’s face was enough to break his heart in two. One wished to stay with Crystal and help her grieve, but the other knew that Edwin needed him more.
It was even worse when she forced a smile. “Take care of Edwin. I can handle things from here.”
“Crystal…” he began, but was cut off by her hug.
“Tell him…” She sniffled. “Tell him I’m here for him. When he’s ready to come out. I-I know I’m not Niko, and hell, he probably blames me for her death, but—” Her words were cut off with a sob.
“Hey, hey, none of that.” Charles gently stroked her curly hair, imagining its texture. “The only one to blame here is that bitch, Esther, and you got her sorted.”
Crystal nodded into him. Stepping backwards, she wiped her eyes. “Go on. I’ll meet you both back at the apartment when he’s feeling better.”
He kissed her forehead before stepping through a car’s side mirror. Safe in Crystal’s apartment, he set the bag by the window and stepped inside.
Years ago, he had built this little corner of the infinity bag as a safe place for himself and for Edwin when the world became too much. Being a pocket dimension, it would keep Edwin together when he was falling apart while also hiding him from detection by any agents of the afterlife.
Charles found him curled on the couch hugging his knees to his chest. He stared blankly ahead, gazing at nothing. The edges of his incorporeal body blurred as Edwin literally came apart at the seams.
His heart squeezed at the sight of his best mate in so much pain. There was nothing he could do but be there, no matter how long it took for Edwin to come back to him.
He grabbed a book off the bookshelves, something co-written by two blokes that were just getting popular in his time, sat down beside Edwin, and began to read: “ It was a nice day. All the days had been nice. There had been rather more than seven of them so far, and rain hadn’t been invented yet.” He ran a hand through Edwin’s hair. “That’s a pretty strong start to a book if I do say so myself. What do you think, mate?”
Of course, there was no response, but Edwin was looking a bit more solid around the edges, which was encouraging. He kept reading, and when he finished the book, he grabbed another one. And then a third. Usually, Edwin returned to himself after only one book, often with a snarky comment about the main character’s decision making skills. Two books was bad, but now Charles was close to finishing a third, something he’d never done before.
He was getting restless. Though he wanted to give Edwin all the time he needed, he also wanted to check in on Crystal and Jenny. But Edwin needed him, and he wouldn’t leave his best mate’s side until he was better.
Sighing, he finished the last page and set it down. “I wish I knew how to help you,” he said, stroking Edward’s back. “I’d say you’ve been through hell, but we both know that’s an understatement.” His metaphysical throat closed as he fought back tears. “Fuck. I can still hear your screams echoing in my head. I’ve never heard you scream like that before, not even when you were being dragged back to Hell. Esther really hurt you. A-and Niko…”
He angrily swiped at his eyes. This was about Edwin. He could deal with (or rather, repress) his grief later. “I know you were close. I-I felt better about spending time with Crystal because I knew you had her. She was…she…”
“She deserved so much better than this,” Edwin said, his voice barely above a whisper. His form was still fraying at the edges, and his gaze still distant, but he was responsive.
Charles could have wept with relief. He squeezed Edwin closer, as though he could be kept safe if he never left Charles’s arms. “Fuck, Edwin, it’s good to hear your voice.”
“You should have left me in Hell.”
Charles stiffened, a flash of rage coursing through them. He forced himself to keep his voice level. “Oi, remember what I said. There’s no version of that story where I didn’t come for you.”
“Esther wanted me. If-if I wasn’t on this plane, Niko would be—“ He broke into a sob.
Charles maneuvered Edwin so that his head was in his lap, his body facing away from him. “Niko would have wanted me to save you, even if it meant she died. And she’s so good, so you know she’s in heaven now. There’s no way she wouldn’t be. But if she’s in Hell? Well, I’ve already gone to Hell and rescued a friend once. I’d do it again.”
Edwin chuckled dryly. “I thought I was the only person you’d go to hell for.”
A joke. Edwin was making a joke. And therefore, progress. Charles gave his arm a squeeze. “Oi, don’t try to trip me up like that. I’m just a simple man who do anything for the people he loves.”
Edwin huffed a weak laugh. And then he went quiet again. He felt more solid to Charles, so he didn’t think Edwin was going to come apart at the seams anymore, but he was still…
Not broken.
Charles almost called him that but he knew better. Edwin was the boy who survived sixteen years of loneliness and bullying. He survived seventy years of torture in Hell. He survived thirty years of dangerous cases, a romantic betrayal, a second stint in Hell, a romantic rejection by someone who loved him but didn’t know in what way he did. He would survive the memories of Esther’s torture and the loss of Niko.
To Charles, Edwin was unbreakable. His soul was the strongest of anyone Charles knew.
So, not broken then.
Wounded.
Edwin was wounded.
So Charles had to be strong for him until he could heal.
“Is…” Edwin began haltingly.
Charles stroked his shoulder in encouragement. “Yeah, mate?”
“Crystal…is she—I mean, how is she holding up? Ni—“ His voice broke, but he powered through. “She was Crystal’s friend too. And Jenny’s. Are they…?”
Charles sighed, tamping down on the twinge of guilt in his chest. He had been so focused on Edwin that he’d neglected their other friends. Not that they wouldn’t understand. Edwin had been through the worst of it, and even Crystal agreed that he needed the most care. “I’m not sure. I’ve been here with you the whole time.”
“Oh.” It was a quiet and weak, but the simple word held so much unspoken feeling. Beneath the pain and the exhaustion, Charles sensed a degree of wonder, as though Edwin was shocked that someone would love him enough to stay with him through his pain. “Perhaps…perhaps you should check on them. Crystal needs you—“
“Not as much as you need me.” Charles curled protectively around his friend. “She understands, mate, and told me that she’s here for you when you’re ready to come out. And she doesn’t want you to force yourself either. Got it?”
“Understood.” Edwin sat up. He was still only in his pajamas from the night he died, and he did his best to straighten them. He was trying to put on the airs of his usual self, but Charles knew him well enough to know that Edwin only wore that outfit when he was feeling particularly vulnerable. “But you need not feel obligated to—“
Charles threw an arm around Edwin, silencing him. “Oi, who said anything about obligation? I’m here because I want to be here. Because I Iove you, and I know you need me right now.”
“Charles…” Edwin’s voice broke. “I-I don’t know if I can—“ He cut himself off, the tears slipping down his cheeks.
Charles never got why crying was something that ghosts could do. Edwin had a long and complicated answer when he asked once, but he gave up on trying to understand about halfway through. He pulled Edwin closer, wrapping his arms around his best mate. “It’s alright. Go ahead and cry it out. You’ve more than earned it.”
Edwin sobbed into his chest—huge, wracking sobs. It was agonizing enough to wrench tears from Charles’s eyes as well. It wasn’t fair. Edwin deserved so much better than this. He deserved to live a long, happy life. He deserved to have gone to Heaven. He deserved to find love and have peace.
Charles’s anger was a teapot on the stove, threatening to escape with an ear-piercing scream. He was glad Esther was dead, but he wished that he’d had the chance to go at her with his cricket bat like a child hitting a piñata at a birthday party.
“I’m sorry,” Edwin sobbed. “I’m so sorry.”
As if Charles’s heart couldn’t break further…“You have nothing to be sorry for. None of this was your fault.”
Edwin shook his head. “She came to save me. I-I couldn’t—it hurt so much and I couldn’t get free—she’s gone because I’m so useless that I—“
“Shh.” Charles hushed him, pulling him even closer. “You’re not useless.”
“Aren’t I?” Edwin jerked his head up, his face twisting in an ugly sneer. “I trapped us here. I took the case at the Devlin house that got you trapped in your worst nightmare. The Night Nurse tortured you because you wanted to protect me. I almost got us killed by trusting Monty. I’m the reason you went to Hell and I’m the reason Jenny’s shop is destroyed and Niko is—” His voice cut off with another sob.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Charles said, bracing his hands on Edwin’s shoulders and rubbing soothing circles with his thumbs. “No one blames you for any of that. The Cat King trapped us here. It was my own stupidity that got the Night Nurse’s attention in the first place and got me stuck in the loop. Monty’s choice to betray you was his own, and Esther’s actions were her own. And we’ve already been over the Hell thing. My idea of Hell is a world without you in it, so it doesn’t matter how many times you get dragged there. I will always come for you.”
Edwin’s face crumpled as he shook his head. “No, no, no, it’s not—“
“I chose to go to Hell for you, just like Crystal and Niko chose to save you.”
“Maybe they shouldn’t have! It was stupid of them to try to go after her on their own, and—”
Charles fiercely shook his head. “You and I both know you don’t mean that. And don’t insult Niko’s memory by implying that her sacrifice wasn’t worth it.”
A look of hurt and horror crossed Edwin’s face, making Charles’s heart twinge with guilt. But he had to get Edwin out of this spiral of self loathing, and this was the only way he could think of to do it.
“Charles, I’m sorry—I-I didn’t mean…”
Charles pulled him into a fierce hug. “I know, I know. It’s okay. But Niko loved you, Edwin. Crystal too. She and Crystal put themselves in danger for you because, like me, they know that the world is better off with you in it.”
Edwin broke again, shaking and sobbing. “It’s not—I-I’m sorry, I—“
“Shh, it’s okay. I’m here. You’re safe. You didn’t deserve any of this. I’m not gonna leave you. Not now, now ever.” Charles lost track of how long he murmured soothing nonsense to Edwin as his best mate sobbed, but he wouldn’t let up, not until the shuddering breaths slowed to even inhales and exhales.
After what could have been hours or days, Edwin sat up. He wiped the last dregs of tears from his face and straightened his back to his usual graceful posture.
“Thank you, Charles,” he said, his voice still soft. But he was no longer in those awful underclothes. He was back in his usual outfit, all armored up against the world. “I think I should like to check on Crystal. She’s been grieving on her own and that—that’s not right.”
Charles could have cried with relief. Edwin was not fully healed, but he had begun to piece himself back together. “You’re right. Let’s go.”
…
Crystal sat on her bed staring at Charles’s bag, willing it to open and her friends to step out. It had been three days, and there was still no sign of them. God, she missed Niko. And Charles. And she felt so awful for Edwin. Out of all of them, he was the closest to Niko, and now she was gone. He’d been through so much in the past few days. How much suffering can one soul take?
There was a knock on the door, and Jenny stood in the doorway with a sandwich and a cup of hot chocolate. “Hey,” she said.
Crystal sniffled. “Hey.”
“I’m not good at emotions or comforting people, or shit like that.” She held up the plate. “But I made you some food.”
She thought back to the newly regained memories of her mom, who never would have noticed Crystal’s pain, let alone tried to comfort her, and it made her tear up all over again. Jenny may not be great at emotions, but she was kind, and that was enough to soothe some of Crystal’s pain. “Thanks.”
Jenny approached and set it on Crystal’s bedside table before awkwardly perching on the edge of her bed. “Your ghost friends…they’re still…” she gestured vaguely to the bag.
She nodded, hugging her knees to her chest.
“They just left you alone up here?” Jenny sounded borderline outraged on her behalf, and that too was a comfort, even if Crystal understood why it had to be this way.
She shook her head. Though they didn’t always see eye to eye, but she now truly understood Charles’s protectiveness over his best friend. “You didn’t see him, Jenny. Edwin was coming apart at the seams. Literally. Esther…she tortured him, and then he was forced to watch one of his only friends die. And this was only a few days after getting dragged back to Hell. It sucks to be left up here, but I can grieve for a few days on my own.”
“You’re not, though,” Jenny said, the words sounding like they physically hurt her. “I know I’m shit with feelings, but I’m here if you need someone to talk to.”
On impulse, she threw her arms around Jenny. The butcher stiffened, awkwardly patting her arm. “Uh. There, there.”
Crystal laughed through her tears. “You weren’t kidding. You really are terrible at this.”
“Gee. Thanks.”
“But I appreciate it. Really. It means a lot.”
Jenny stiffly patted Crystal’s arm. “Any time.”
The bag began to twitch. A pair of hands opened it from the inside, and Charles pulled himself out before holding out a hand and helping Edwin get free.
“Charles!” she exclaimed, jumping to her feet and throwing her arms around him. Hugging him felt a bit like hugging snow: cold and strangely yielding. But she felt it when he hugged her back. “I missed you.”
“Are you doing okay—er, well, you know—considering?” he asked. He squeezed her before shifting back to study her face.
She sniffled, wiping the tears from he eyes. “A lot better now that you and Edwin are back.” She stepped backwards and turned to the dead boy in question. Unsure where his boundaries with physical affection were, she held out a hand for a handshake.
“Fuck it,” Edwin said, and, to her shock, he threw his arms around her. “Just this once,” he whispered in her ear. After all, he had a reputation to maintain.
She laughed against his shoulder. “I’ll wear you down eventually.”
He tensed slightly, and stepped away, taking her hands in his. “On that note, Crystal, I owe you an apology for my rather boorish behavior when we first met. There is no excuse for it. I’ve come to view you as a valued member of the agency and a…a good friend.”
Any other time, Crystal would have laughed again at his stiff formality, but instead, his words filled her with warmth. She threw her arms around him again. “All is long forgiven. I’m just glad you’re okay.”
Edwin took a step backwards, ducking from the hug, his smile becoming forced. “I would not necessarily describe myself as ‘okay,’ but I am more together now. I apologize too for my absence and leaving you alone to—to grieve.”
She flashed him a tremulous smile. “Now, that is something you don’t have to apologize for.”
“Still, I am grateful for you and—well, I’m thankful for you rescuing me.”
Jenny cleared her throat as she slowly backed out of the room. “I’ll-I’ll give you all a minute. All these emotions are making me break out in hives.” She paused, lingering in the doorway. “I’m glad you’re doing better, Edwin.” With that, she fled the room, leaving the trio alone.
They stood in silence, none of them sure what to say next. Crystal bit her lip. What would Niko say? “Do…do you guys wanna watch Scooby Doo?”
A look of grief crossed Edwin’s face, making her regret the offer. But then he took her by surprise again by nodding his head. “Yes, I-I would like that.”
…
Edwin sat to Charles’s left and Crystal sat to his right, the rude boy acting as a buffer between them, not that they really needed it. Edwin just knew he would be overwhelmed by both Charles and Crystal touching him. Ordinarily, he would keep his distance from both, but the physical comfort of Charles’s presence soothed him every time a fresh wave of pain and grief threatened to drown him.
When Charles first rejected him, Edwin feared that his best friend would distance himself, but as promised, Charles’s behavior towards him never changed. Edwin felt just as loved as ever. Maybe even more now that he had Crystal and could be fully be himself.
Still, Niko left a hole in his heart far more agonizing than anything Esther’s machine could have done to him. He missed her terribly, and everything seemed to remind him of her.
Crystal had nodded off a few episodes ago, so it was just him and Charles awake and watching the show. As the next episode began to play, he caught a flicker of white in the mirror. His head shot up. Niko?
Charles registered the sudden movement. “Edwin? You alright, mate?”
The mirror was unchanged, showing only Crystal sitting on the far end of an empty bed. It must have been his imagination. Or perhaps Death had been kind enough to allow Niko to check on them before moving on. It seemed unlikely, but he could take comfort in the idea. “I’m quite alright. Thank you, Charles.”
He picked up his head, studying Edwin’s face for a moment before relaxing, apparently satisfied with what he saw. He rested his head against Edwin’s shoulder. “So, what do you think is gonna happen next?” he asked, nodding to the screen.
Edwin rested his head on top of Charles’s and watched the Scooby Gang find their first clue. “I’m afraid it’s too early to tell. But I look forward to finding out with you.”