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Contrary to popular belief, Izuku Midoriya did not enjoy being a martyr.
Nobody would enjoy these conditions. Still, of course, he enjoyed doing his heroic duty, however tainted and misused that notion might be, he enjoyed following his natural inclinations. He had, for a while, felt good about his decision to protect his loved ones and fake his death or disappearance (whichever one the media chose to cling onto). He’d left his mask and support belt at the battle scene, tearing off chunks of his costume and scattering them amongst the wreckage for a more believable takedown. He thought about chopping off a finger or toe. People would be much more likely to believe he’d been caught in the blast if he left more of himself behind, but Izuku hadn’t had much time and even if he did, he wasn’t sure if he could do something that awful.
He was thankful for the decision now while trudging through endless woods. He was cold most of the time except during the precious hours the sun was above the treetops and shined down on his hair and face. He loved the January sun more than any other or maybe it was just he hadn’t had a chance to be fully grateful for it until now. He knew he should be even colder than he was but his body somehow managed to never dip to dangerous levels. Was this a hidden bonus to one for all? There were still patches of snow on the ground from the last snow storm but they were the friendly kind with bits of twigs and grass sticking up from the tops. He knew it would be better to walk at night to keep warm. It would be less conspicuous, although that didn’t seem much of an issue. Part of him wondered if any human had ever been here or if it was always just wild deer and bunnies. That was enough reason for him to excuse moving during the day when walking was much more enjoyable. He roamed. He’d never been a boy scout and learned how to tell which way was north or south, and even if he did know, the point was to stay lost. Keep moving. Don’t leave a trail. Don’t activate quirk and draw attention- he never knew when or if he might stumble across a house while out here, although given the lack of roads, he found this possibility unlikely. He stayed close to creeks when he could or moving water, camping out behind dense bushes at night and washing himself quickly in the morning in the creeks. He didn’t mind the endless meandering when the sun was overhead and he felt more safe than he had in months.
The thing that bothered him was his inability to tell his friends his plan. He’d wanted to more than anything. Guilt had become his number one emotion as he sat by his friends in the cafeteria and listened to them make plans for after.
After.
They were always talking about “after” like it was some magical place they would soon travel to. After the heroes had finally made a good enough plan or maybe, after the students became strong enough to continue fighting the battle the adults had started. After All For One had been caught once and for all. Nobody knew why All For One had become as manic as he had the past few months. What was once a mysterious force hidden behind the League of Villains was now front and center, doing his best to break into U.A.. They all thought he was trying to kill off all that opposed him, starting with the heroes-to-be. Izuku had known better, as had Nezu. All For One was after One For All. They didn’t know how he knew but he did. Why else would he focus all his energy on this one school?
Nezu knew as he was the one who came up with the idea in the first place. His mother knew and had opposed from the start but she wanted what was best for her son and their school headmaster/ genius seemed sure this was it. Mr.Aizawa, his homeroom teacher, had been just as against it as his mother. He offered to take in Izuku and hide him instead, have one of the other teachers cover for him, and bring Izuku to a safe house, anything other than leave Izuku to his own devices. Izuku had never seen his teacher so- awake. He wished he could think of another way to describe it. It didn’t seem like a powerful enough word. But Mr.Aizawa was standing straight, fist slamming on the table and eyes fully open. Izuku had been left speechless– cut off halfway through explaining he was willing to do whatever it took to make sure everyone was safe and save them with a smile on his-.
“You aren’t sacrificing one of my students just to keep the school’s reputation from backsliding more than it already has.”
Nezu had been all platitudes, an understanding empathy in his eyes that was so sincere it almost felt fake. “This is not a sacrifice, Aizawa. This is to protect young Midoriya just as much as the rest of this school. If we bring him to a safe house, if any of us know where he is, you know he would torture it out of any of us. No, don’t give me that look, he is capable of breaking even the strongest of our flock. There is no government facility, no lab, no tent that man wouldn’t track down and destroy to find Midoriya. The best plan is for there to be no plan. We cannot know where Midoriya plans to go or if he will return. We must have faith in this young man.”
“He is not a young man. He is a child,” Mr.Aizawa had said and shook his head as if that was that. His voice had been low and steady but there was a message hidden there, a message to back off.
Nezu had let out a long exaggerated sigh as if preparing to debate with someone much less intelligent. The arguing had gotten much louder. Izuku had looked at his mother, his poor beautiful mother, who looked seconds away from bursting into a second panic attack. He looked at the headmaster who gave him chance after chance. He looked at his homeroom teacher, who had taken upon himself to teach (aka attempt to teach) Izuku how to drive when Izuku had told him his mom didn’t know how and she had no idea who his father was (aka one night stand). Everyone in his life had done so much for him. At that moment he had made a choice. It was still up for debate if it was the right one.
“I won’t do it. I’m sorry but I can’t just get up and run away. I need to stay and end this like a real hero would.” A lump had formed in his throat as he’d forced the next words out. “What All Might would have done.”
All Might, his mentor, the first person to believe in him, had been the first to die for him. Everyone, including Izuku, had believed All Might was strong enough to take down All For One. He was in a state of shock as he saw All Might’s shaking weaker form collapse on the tv screen. Izuku kept waiting for All Might to get back up. Had he died then of exhaustion? It was hard to say if he was still alive when All For One had crouched down next to him and placed two fingers on his neck, seemingly checking his pulse. Izuku knew better. He was checking for the remnants of One For All. Izuku didn’t know how, but the dying embers of All Might’s quirk seemed to communicate something to the villain. Izuku hadn’t even seen what happened until he rewound the clip later that night. All he’d seen was All For One looking directly into one of the hidden cameras and mouthing the words ‘I will find you’ with All Might’s head in his scarred hands. All Might’s head hanging at an unnatural angle-snapped by All For One as he turned to the camera.
After Izuku had finished speaking his mother collapsed into a fit of sobs. Mr.Aizawa was awkwardly patting her shoulder with one hand. Nezu was leaning back in his chair from across the table, hands still folded neatly in his lap as if Izuku had never spoken. He nodded once, his eyes never leaving Izuku’s. That had been that.
All For One’s blast had more the perfect time for him to slip away with the rest of his classmates scattered. All For One had not known Izuku was there, waiting in the wings as a backup in case All For One managed to get past the main line of heroes. U.A.’s once impenetrable gates were now shattered into a million tiny shards. He hoped All For One had gotten far enough to see the remnants of Izuku’s costume and thought he was dead, blown to pieces like the gate. Maybe then, he would finally stop his pursuit of One For All. The quirk that had made All For One kill so many people would die with Izuku.
Mr.Aizawa would be furious when he realized Izuku had gone behind his back but at least he would know Izuku wasn’t truly dead. Maybe he’d be able to reassure his mom. That thought had comforted Izuku and spurred him on. He wasn’t sure how long he’d been out here now. It had to have been at least a month. It was easier and harder than he thought to live outdoors. Easier to find the right berries and fish, although he had trouble not dropping weight with all the added walking and less available food sources. It was easier in the way he knew he was doing all he could to help by disappearing. The constant guilt he’d been feeling felt softer out here, surrounded by nothing but trees. Harder in that the guilt was still there in a different way. What would Iida think? Uraraka? Todoroki? Even Kacchan? Harder in that he felt more and more isolated by the hour, almost as if leaving his old life had also been leaving behind himself. He began to question if this is what All Might would have done. Maybe he was the only one that would be able to stop All For One. Mr.Aizawa, who was now up to date on all known knowledge of one for all, had disagreed when Izuku had once tentatively brought up the theory. He’d told Izuku he wasn’t even close to ready. He’d stopped injuring himself with the quirk but it was far from under control, at least, the amount of control required to take down someone even all the pros combined couldn’t manage.
Izuku was going back and forth in his head debating, possibly muttering out loud, when he heard snow crunch. His head snapped up. He automatically scanned his surroundings for a pack of deer dashing out from behind the trees or a little critter scurrying into a bush. There was nothing.
Izuku let out a breath of relief. He resumed his even pace.
It was nothing- he repeated to himself, out loud to make it even more real. His voice felt out of place, which was odd, he’d felt so in sync with the music of nature before. His babbles had blended in with the sound of wings flapping or the bare branches rustling above him. Izuku stopped in his tracks. There had been nothing there- no sounds- no breeze- nothing. It was like the woods around him had frozen.
Izuku didn’t wait to see if his theory was right. He turned on his heel and sprinted in the opposite direction of the way he’d been going. It felt unnatural at first after so long of the same steady walk. He felt weirdly out of shape. Izuku stumbled, tripping over roots hidden by the snow. He shoved himself back up and threw caution to the wind, activating one for all. It was much easier to bound off the trees like springboards, slinging himself through the woods at an unnatural speed. He changed directions sporadically. What was it that the guest speaker at his middle school said to do during a chase? Change directions? Or was that only when they had a gun? He didn’t even know if there was a point. There was no evidence anyone was even chasing. Just a feeling really. Still, Izuku didn’t let up. He kept going until his limbs ached and he felt like it was impossible to take a full breath.
Izuku slowed to a halt. He was on the top of a steep hill overlooking what looked to be the creek he’d been following yesterday. It was wider out here, expanding out into more of a river than a creek. He backed up in a long slow circle, letting blackwhip strike out at any shrubbery that could be concealing something. He panted long and hard. It was impossible to calm down, especially when he could feel the remnants of one for all still crackling over his skin. He hadn’t expected that to scare him so much. It was probably a bunny and he’d nearly jumped out of his skin. Maybe Izuku had been in denial about how scared he truly was. Seeing his mentor- the man who could not be defeated- be taken down like that, mortality had somehow become much more real to him. Izuku didn’t want to die. He knew part of being a hero was jumping into action even if it meant you couldn’t save yourself, and he had numerous times. Going up against All For One though, it felt so much worse than an accidental death. All For One was ruthless, he wouldn’t blink twice if he thought Izuku being dead wouldn’t hurt his chances of taking one for all from him.
Izuku let out a shuddering breath as he took another step back. It really had been nothing.
His stomach dropped as he realized his misstep. Blackwhip lashed out but it was too late. He tumbled headfirst down the long hill. His body hit a tree but he couldn’t orient himself fast enough to grab hold before he continued to slide. The hill was a compilation of mud and snow and it seemed like Izuku was getting the worst of both. Everything was freezing and slippery and surprisingly not fun. A couple of words his mother would cover her mouth at left his. Izuku didn’t register that he'd fallen into the river-ish creek at first, he just started feeling a lot more sympathy for athletes that had to do ice baths. Something hurt. He couldn’t tell what. Maybe everything. Izuku sat up and let out a loud exhale. If All For One really was out here, Izuku had done a fine job of repainting a target on his back. The remnants of his costume’s sleeves looked more like tassels now than anything and he didn’t look down to know one of his beloved red sneakers had been lost somewhere on the hill from Hell. He forced himself to move quickly, ignoring the tightness in his limbs, and pulled himself out of the creek. He got to his feet clumsily and started jogging again without really looking for a direction to go in. He attempted to activate his quirk but something felt off, like his quirk abilities were just as frozen as his muscles.
Then Izuku ran into a tree.
Wait. Not a tree. A human. Izuku gasped and looked up.
“Problem child,” Mr.Aizawa addressed, voice gruff. “What was that?”
Izuku’s brain short-circuited. Is this what Kaminari felt like all the time? If so, it was a lot more impressive now that he’d gotten into the hero course. Was he supposed to be alarmed that his teacher was in the middle of the woods? Was he following Izuku? “That? falling- uh. Excuse me, Mr.Aizawa.What are you doing out here?” Izuku looked around. “How did you get here?”
“Gran Torino.”
“He carried you?” Izuku asked in disbelief. Of course, Gran Torino could carry Mr.Aizawa but that was not an image he could picture. “Wait. Where is he now? What’s going on?”
Mr.Aizawa looked worn to the bone. His hair was pulled back in a bun but even from the way it was pulled back, Izuku could have sworn there was less of it. There was no color left in his face. What was happening back at home? Did they need Izuku back at the front lines? Izuku’s mind raced out of control. He couldn’t think about that. He’d been telling himself this whole time he was doing the right thing but what if one of his friends had been injured or worse because he wasn’t there?
“You are in big trouble is what’s going on. I’d expel you but I need to keep you in sight at all times it sees. Gran Torino is doing a sweep of the area. He’ll be back in a few minutes and then we are leaving.”
Izuku shook his head like that would make his brain work properly again. “How did you find me? Wait, you want me to leave?” Why did Mr.Aizawa look like he was bouncing? No. It was Izuku. He hadn’t realized how badly he was shaking.
Mr.Aizawa’s lips pressed together in a thin line. He looked like he was debating throwing Izuku back into the creek. Still, Mr.Aizawa was shoving Izuku’s ruined top of his costume off of him before Izuku could stop him. He shrugged out of his thick winter coat, the kind that is puffy and somehow never looks dirty. “Here,” Mr.Aizawa muttered, draping it over Izuku. Izuku wanted to protest. He was covered in dirty creek water and mud, at least he hoped it was just mud. When he felt the immediate warmth still radiating off of the coat though, it felt like there was no stopping his arms from sliding into the sleeves. For some reason wearing something that wasn’t his costume made Izuku want to cry. Seeing his teacher made him want to cry. Part of him had been terrified he would come back to Mr.Aizawa gone, lost with so many of the other heroes in the fight.
“Do they need me to fight him?” Izuku blurted out. He couldn’t help the tremble that was in his voice. It was selfish to be afraid when so much damage had already happened because of him. But if All Might had failed, it seemed inevitable his successor would too.
“Fight him?” Mr.Aizawa asked. He shut his eyes and ran a hand over his face. He didn’t bother opening them again as he said, “That’s the last thing you should be doing. I can’t believe Nezu went behind my back when you so clearly-” he paused. He must have decided Izuku didn’t need to know what he meant by that.
“How did you find me?” Izuku asked.
“Gran Torino and I looked all through the city and then realized you had the great idea of becoming a little explorer. We have, well your friend Hatsume, she invented a tracking device that can track quirk usage. We’ve only picked up a few signals in the area but yours is especially strong all things considered. We can explain the rest later, we’re getting you to a safe house like we should have done from the start.”
A shot of fear spiked through him, colder than the icy creek. “What did you say?” Izuku asked. Maybe his shivering had distorted what Mr.Aizawa had said.
“A safe house.”
“No.” Izuku couldn’t get the words out fast enough. “Did you say you picked up more than one person using a quirk? Mr.Aizawa, there’s nothing out here for miles and miles. Not even a road.”
“That can’t be,” Mr.Aizawa started but his face had grown impossibly paler. His eyes simmered red as he scanned the horizon. He gripped Izuku’s bicep tightly in one hand and pulled him back. “Stay close. We are leaving now.”
Izuku yanked his arm out of the grip. He cringed as his bare foot stepped into an icy puddle. For the first time since the fall, he became aware the woods still held that same eerie quietness, even the wind had turned tail and left. “He’ll kill you,” Izuku said, his voice nothing but a whisper. He felt his throat close up the way it always did when he thought about All Might. “The same way he did to-to. You need to leave now. Find Gran Torino, please. I’m fast, I’ll be fine.” Izuku backed up a few steps. “I can be a distraction. Please. I wouldn’t be able to take it if you both died too.”
Mr.Aizawa looked at him with an unreadable expression. Pity? Frustration? “You want me to leave you here as a sacrifice?”
The pit in Izuku’s stomach deepened as he nodded. “Please. I’m fast enough. I’ll lead him away while you guys run.”
“Stop talking,” Mr.Aizawa snapped. He grabbed Izuku’s arm before he could take another step backward. “I don’t have time to deal with you right now. Come on.”
No,” Izuku protested more strongly this time. He tried to yank away again, he was physically stronger than Mr.Aizawa even without the quirk but just as quickly as Izuku sidestepped him, the capture weapon had shot out around him. Mr.Aizawa’s quirk was now directed at him and not their surroundings. The January sun no longer felt comforting to him, it was a flashlight, shining down in the woods and making it impossible to hide.
Mr.Aizawa huffed and dragged Izuku along. The panic set in more and more with each step he took with Mr.Aizawa instead of away from him. This couldn’t be happening. It felt like one of those nightmares where he knew the killer was getting closer but his legs couldn’t seem to move fast enough. Usually, those kinds of dreams frustrated him more than scared him, especially when he woke up before he could figure out how to fix it. Izuku wasn’t usually a runner. He was a problem solver. A puzzle lover. At this moment, however, all he wanted to do was wake up. For so long he’d wanted to be one of the front-running heroes and now that he was here, all he wanted was that weight off his shoulders.
“Let me go,” Izuku pleaded. He tugged against the capture weapon with all his strength. “Mr.Aizawa, you don’t understand.”
“I understand plenty, problem child.”
They made it a good 30 yards before Izuku managed to break free. He was about to turn and run in the other direction when the sight of a bright yellow cape on the ground stopped him dead in his tracks. It was ripped neatly in half, the second half laying only a few yards away but that half only speckled that familiar yellow, the rest was a dark wrinkled red. He could smell it even from where he was standing. Izuku’s gaze traveled to the hand lying next to the cape before Mr.Aizawa stepped in front of him and blocked his line of vision.
Mr.Aizawa’s voice sounded twenty years younger at that moment. His tone was shaky and strained as he whispered, "Don’t look. Hey, kid, look at me. Don’t look at, at him.”
Izuku’s head was shaking robotically. He wasn’t in control of his limbs. He wasn’t in control of anything. His hand came up to his mouth. He might have been looking at Mr.Aizawa or the ground or his hands, but his brain couldn’t seem to settle on anything that wasn’t him.
“My fault,” he stammered. “It’s all mine.”
Mr.Aizawa was saying something. He could hear his familiar voice breathing through some kind of bubble, but his brain wasn’t competent enough to understand what he was saying. First All Might, then U.A., then Gran Torino, everything he touched turned to ashes. Izuku was cursed. No. Not cursed. He was selfish. If Izuku had just been brave enough to face All For One from the start or passed the quirk to Kacchan, to someone more competent than himself, none of this would have happened. Izuku had wanted to be a hero so badly it had made him the villain.
His fault.
Innocent lives had been lost because of him. Mr.Aizawa was about to die because of him. Izuku wanted to scream ‘Get out’. He opened his mouth but all he could keep saying was an endless stream of “my fault”. He could feel the spiral starting, deeper than any cyclone he’d encountered before. This was not his first dark moment but the others had felt like splotches on a page where he could flip the paper over and see an end to it. This moment was a black hole and he knew if he let himself fall too deeply into it, the person he would be when coming out on the other side would not be the same. The thing about black holes was there wasn’t a veto option. Once you were close enough to one, the fall was inevitable. It was strange, it almost felt like the transformation had already begun.
“Midoriya.”
Mr.Aizawa was shaking him by his shoulders.
Izuku blinked awake again as he felt himself being picked up. Mr.Aizawa had him awkwardly cradled in one arm as he shot his capture weapon out with the other. It clung to a nearby tree and they were soon swinging away from that horrible smell. His capture weapon shot out to the next but some invisible force seemed to hit it, making them both ricochet back to the ground. Mr.Aizawa managed to keep hold of Izuku as they fell back.
“Now Eraserhead. You didn’t truly think you could run away?”
Eraserhead was on his feet in a moment, hair floating around him and the end of his capture weapon still left dangling in one hand. With his other arm, he shoved Izuku back behind him. Izuku was still balancing somewhere in the realm of seeing things through a foggy lens or blacking out. Still, even he didn’t need to look up to know who was there with them.
He was tall and broad. His hands dangled loosely by his sides, as if he’d run into an old acquaintance and hadn’t just killed someone. There was no physical evidence on him. His suit was flat and pristine. Izuku didn’t know if that was better or worse. What was the most surprising was his face. Izuku had seen the familiar black mask during the fight with All Might. He’d been told All For One did not show his face. He wondered vaguely if this was why. All For One looked exceptionally ordinary. He had a square job and smooth unblemished cheeks. His hair was a light blond or maybe white, it was hard to tell in the bright sunlight of midday. His eyes looked familiar, but not in color or shape, they were familiar in the way Izuku had seen that look before, that sort of strange passion. He couldn’t remember where he’d seen it but it felt so familiar he almost wondered if he was dreaming again. This was All For One? Despite the height, the man looked like a civilian in all ways.
“You’re not hurting this child,” Mr.Aizawa stated like a fact, like he was telling All For One tomorrow would be a Tuesday.
All For One stepped closer, those strange eyes locking onto Izuku. Izuku could have sworn he saw the trees bend towards him for a moment, as if bowing, or perhaps caving in his presence. Izuku felt himself bending too, leaning towards the strangest and most terrifying thing he’d ever encountered. The brain fog seemed to thin enough for him to see the other. Was it that the man reminded Izuku of All Might in some strange way? The image of All Might resurfaced in Izuku’s mind. It was like falling back in the creek.
Izuku shoved away from Mr.Aizawa. He activated One For All, letting it crackle over him like a second skin. His voice was stronger than it had been in weeks. “Leave. Now.” Izuku wasn’t sure if he was directing his command toward his teacher or enemy. This time he made sure to direct all his energy on All For One. “Leave now. I’ll come with you but just me. Nobody else.”
“Deku,” Mr.Aizawa shouted, addressing Izuku by his hero name. He looked like a statue, with no sudden movements. Izuku realized it was because he was using his quirk on All For One, however much he could. “No. Kid, run.”
“Cruelty is not in my nature,” All For One spoke each word slowly. His voice was low but clear. “It was unfortunate one of your friends got in the way but I could not have someone trying to take you away from me. Eraserhead, I applaud your efforts to keep Izuku safe but if you value your eyes, I suggest you turn off your quirk before I am forced to rip them out.
Izuku felt nauseous at the use of his first name. Of course, All For One knew who he was. He knew what school he went to. He knew what Izuku possessed, a quirk far more valuable than one identity. It didn’t stop the goosebumps from forming down Izuku’s arms.
“The heroes have done an admiral job trying to care but look at you. Where is your shoe Izuku? Look what’s become of you.”
Izuku forced himself to stand his ground. He would not give All For One the satisfaction of backing up. “The thing you want,” Izuku called out. “You won’t get it. I’ll make sure of it. I have to give it willingly.”
“One for all?” All For One laughed long and hard, far longer than what would be comfortable even if it wasn’t coming from him. His laugh seemed to shake the branches around him. There was no wind because he was the wind. At that moment, it seemed as though he commanded Earth himself. “Yes, it is true I once sought that power but now-” he stepped closer to them with his head crooked to the side. “I have a much greater treasure.”
Izuku shook despite himself. His mind raced to figure out what All For One could mean. Did he just want the pleasure of killing the final holder of one for all? All For One reached out a hand as if he was going to scoop Izuku up. Izuku shot back and glared at him, or tried to glare, it might have translated as more of a plea.
“Why so jumpy?” All For One asked. He kept moving steadily towards them. “I would never hurt you Izuku.”
“Just track me down and kill the people I love,” Izuku snapped before he could stop himself. Mr.Aizawa was there, trying to pull him back again. Had he come up with a plan? It didn’t seem like they’d get very far. Why had they come? If Izuku had been alone none of this would have happened. All For One would have caught Izuku while he was alone. There would have been no further casualties.
“I admit I might have gotten overzealous in my eagerness to find you but-” All For One paused expectantly. That same invincible force was back, this time roughly shoving Mr.Aizawa back. He went flying through their air. He narrowly missed hitting his head on one of the nearby rocks, just making it into a tuck and roll before he hit the ground. He was moving again, already trying to get back to his feet, but Izuku could sense it would not be fast enough.
Izuku looked back up at All For One in horror. This was it. He was going to die. Izuku couldn’t bring himself to do anything other than stare as All For One continued to speak.
“Can’t a father be excited to meet his son?”