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Evan Buckley had always had a strong connection to music, It was one of his biggest coping mechanisms; and if he's being honest with himself healthiest. As a kid Maddie used to sing to him, it was the only thing that would calm him down. If he was hurt she’d patch him up, hold him close and hum a beautiful tune. If he was scared she would hold his hand and quietly sing his favorite song. Most nights she sung him to sleep until she moved out. That’s how he started to associate music with his emotions, he started singing and eventually playing guitar as an outlet. He found a way to make his ‘ugly’ emotions beautiful.
So when he was finally ready to accept that things were over with Abby he knew he had to sing about it. It was perfect, Chim and Hen invited him out to the karaoke bar half an hour after he realized, he decided this was how he'd let her go. Chim and Hen sang first to an upbeat 80s song, it was fun to watch, it took any nerves he had away. He was up after them he was going to sing ‘There's a Fine, Fine Line’ from Avenue Q.
“There's a fine, fine line between a lover and a friend.” He starts out singing slowly and calmly, sadness lies in his eyes.
“There's a fine, fine line between reality and pretend.” He has his right hand on the mic, still on its stand.
“And you never know 'til you reach the top if it was worth the uphill climb.” He looks up as he raises his left hand to the ceiling and then lets it fall.
“There's a fine, fine line between love.” He takes a deep breath.
“And a waste of time.” He places his left hand on the mic as well.
“There's a fine, fine line between a fairy tale and a lie.” He looks sadly up at his group of friends. Hen gives a sympathetic smile, while Chim has his mouth open in shock not expecting Buck to sing so well.
“And there's a fine, fine line between ‘You're wonderful’ and ‘Goodbye’.” He looks away from them to look at the mic.
“I guess if someone doesn't love you back, It isn't such a crime.” He takes the mic off the stand and holds it in his left hand with his right on top.
“But there's a fine, fine line between love.” He looks into the small crowd of mostly tipsy patrons with a sigh.
“And a waste of your time.” He moves his right hand to hold his stomach.
“And I don't have the time to waste on you anymore!” He glances at the ceiling thinking of his soon to be ex girlfriend. He should have known she wouldn’t come back the day she left. Hell part of him did, he just didn’t want to believe Abby would do this.
“I don't think that you even know what you're looking for!” His eyes stay locked up, but that doesn’t stop everyone seeing the hurt in those bright blue eyes, a hurt like a storm.
“For my own sanity,” He points to his chest, “I've got to close the door! And walk away.” He slides his hand in a push motion to the side as he looks down, back into the crowd of bar goers.
“Oh … ” He looks at the floor and puts both hands on the mic.
“There's a fine, fine line between together and not.” He shakes his head as he sings softly.
“And there's a fine, fine line between what you wanted and what you got.” He looks back up into the crowd, his blue eyes water seeping out more pain, but not dropping any tears.
“You gotta go after the things you want while you're still in your prime!” He sings louder, holding the mic tighter.
“There's a fine, fine line between love!” He sighs and loosens his grip on the mic.
“And a waste of time … ” He finishes softer, a single tear falling down his cheek as he does. As the final notes of the instrumental end he puts the mic back. The bar goers applaud him. He gives the crowd a small smile and walks to the bar.
He orders a drink and tries his hardest to not fall back into his 1.0 days. All he can think about is how he just wants someone to stay, someone to want him. All he’s ever wanted was to be someone's first choice. When he had sex with people for just a few minutes he was all of that but after he would always feel worse. So he wouldn’t anymore he was healing.
Luckily his friends didn’t let him stay alone for long, dragging him back to their table. He ended up having a great night, for the first time in a long time he wasn’t thinking about Abby.