Work Text:
2001
When Niall was eight, his favorite thing to play on at the park was the monkey bars.
“Ahhhh, I’m not gonna make it! My hands. They’re slipping!” His heart was beating like mad. He’d fallen off a hundred times but the anticipation- the fear of slipping through the air with nothing to hold him until he jolted to the ground- that was his favorite part of it.
“Go on already! It’s my turn now.” Louis complained.
Niall reached out for the next rung but his other hand was already sliding off. “Look out below!”
He cackled as he thudded onto the ground. The wind knocked slightly out of his chest. He laid there for a minute as Louis started swinging across the bars above.
“If you fall on me I’ll smash your face in, Tommo!”
“Maybe I’ll fall down on purpose then ‘cause I’d like to see you try!” Louis made a face down at him, swinging dangerously back and forth on one arm.
He rolled across the ground out from under the bars. Niall stared up at the sky, laughing in exhilaration as he brushed the woodchips off his jumper.
“Are you all right?”
Niall craned his neck backward, hair scraping in the dirt. There was a boy standing a few feet away, but he didn’t recognize him as one of the park regulars, then again he was looking at an upside down version of him. “Did ya’ just ask me if I’m alright?”
“Um, well yeah- I just thought-”
Niall laughed again, “Of course I am.”
He rolled swiftly over onto his stomach, oblivious of the streaks of dirt and bits of wood all over his clothes. He sized the boy up proper like and he definitely didn’t appear to be a park regular. Niall eyed the plaid button up, tan trousers and squeaky clean trainers dubiously. He doubted that he’d ever had trainers that clean before. In fact, his ma often grabbed him by the ear because he and Greg stomped on each other’s brand new shoes before they’d even left the store.
Niall got to his feet. “I’ve done it about thirty times today. You haven’t been here long?”
“No, just now. You’ve fallen that many times?” Large brown eyes stared at him behind shaggy hair.
“It’s the best part.” Niall grinned, surprised that he’d had to explain that at all.
The boy looked unconvinced.
“Want to have a go on it?” He looked back over at Louis who was swinging freely from one rung to the next. “Louis, come on! You’ve had way too many turns!”
“You snooze, you lose, Nialler. Why do you think I’m so much better than you?”
“Are not!” Niall laughed. He turned back to the boy, who was staring very uncertainly at the monkey bars, hands shoved in his pockets.
“So you want to or not?”
Concerned eyes swung to his. “Better not.” Niall watched him glance longingly back at Louis on the rungs. He rolled his eyes and huffed. The boy was not making any sense. Niall made a face when he suddenly felt a woodchip in his trainer. He hopped around a bit while he yanked the shoe off to dump it out. “If you want to do it, just do it. It’s as simple as that.” He explained matter-of-factly.
“My mum told me I couldn’t get these clothes dirty.” He said solemnly. “And it looks awfully dangerous.”
Louis laughed aloud. “That’s because it is, strange boy in the church clothes.”
Niall snickered and then felt bad about it when the boy got a hurt look on his face.
“These aren’t church clothes.”
“Well, they look like church clothes.” Louis replied snidely.
“Well, they aren’t.” The boy said through gritted teeth.
Niall and Louis’ eyes met at the boy’s tone and they both raised their eyebrows. He was a little touchy then.
Louis jumped from the bars in an arc and landed close to them. Niall made a face. He hated that Louis was two years older and able to do things he couldn’t. Niall hadn’t mastered that landing yet. The show off. He flicked Louis’ ear and got a dirty look before Louis turned back to the boy.
“Well I suppose if you are so sure, then your mum wouldn’t mind you playing in them at the park, would she?” He asked innocently. Niall suddenly caught on to what Louis was doing. They’d used this strategy that day that they got that lad, Harry, to eat a worm.
He shoved Louis lightly in the shoulder. “Tommo, leave it. If he’s not allowed on the monkey bars who cares, you and I can just play. Come on.” He tugged at Louis’ jumper and they both turned and started walking back.
“Well, now hold on.” The boy asserted. “It’s not that I’m not allowed. It’s just, my mum, she said-”
“If you can’t, you can’t.” Niall bounded up the structure attached to the monkey bars and waived off his words with a laugh.
The boy shuffled toward them and looked slightly miffed now, “I said it’s not because I can’t, I just-”
“Rock, paper, scissors to see who goes first?” Louis asked him. Niall nodded and they got into position.
“I am allowed on the monkey bars and out of the three of us it should be my turn next!” He announced loudly.
Niall slowly turned back around to see the boy’s chest heaving and eyes a little wild. He bit his lip to prevent the smile he felt tugging at his mouth. “Go on then. It’s all yours.”
He heard a snort behind him and elbowed Louis.
The boy climbed the structure to the edge, right where the bars started. He glanced at them with a dazed look in his eyes, as if he didn’t quite know how he’d gotten himself to this point.
“Go for it.”
The boy swallowed and nodded before gripping tightly to the first rung.
Niall tried to remember what it had been like on his first go. He was pretty sure he’d taken to it well. However, this boy didn’t even make it past the second bar. He was shaking like a leaf and just fell down to the ground like a bag of stones.
They both burst into laughter at the sight and Niall jumped down to help him up.
The boy glanced down at the dirt marks on his pants. “Now my mum is going to kill me for sure.”
Louis jumped down next to them and cajoled triumphantly. “All the more reason to do it a few more times, yeah?”
“Might as well, now. Right?” Niall coaxed.
The worry slowly cleared from his face and hope flickered there. “I reckon you have a point.”
“Of course we do, strange boy.” Louis replied smartly.
The boy let out a long-suffering sigh. “My name is Liam.”
2003
“Set your papers on my desk as you come into the room.” Miss Dorton advised. “James, don’t think I don’t see you slinking off to your desk without handing anything in.”
“I forgot it at home, miss. Can I bring it in tomorrow?”
Miss Dorton sighed and nodded.
Niall flung his paper on top of the rest of them, ignoring the blatant distrust in his teacher’s face as she eyed his contribution to the pile. At ten, Niall was absolutely sure that he hated school. And Miss Dorton was one of his only beta teachers, which inevitably made him a little more comfortable acting out in her class. He was certain she found that unforgivable.
After he walked past her, he made a face like he was dying and several of the kids laughed.
“Niall, please sit down.”
“Yes, miss.” He hopped over Justin's outstretched foot and slid into the desk behind, right next to Liam. He turned innocently toward the teacher. It was probably not a good idea that he and Justin sat near one another but she had not yet separated them despite how many times they'd gotten in trouble for interrupting class.
She sighed again. “Everyone please open your books to page twelve and read while I look these over.”
Niall pulled Justin's hair in front of him before grabbing his book from his rucksack.
“Shove off!” He whispered.
The teacher glanced up sharply and Niall smiled at her, lifting up his book to prove he was doing exactly as she asked him to. He flipped it open to a random page and laid it on his desk so it at least looked like he was reading. When she turned her attention back to the papers again he crept his hand out toward Justin’s neck. Liam coughed next to him and he glanced over. Liam’s eyes slid from Niall’s to the teacher and then back, before he mouthed stop, with a warning look. Niall rolled his eyes and crooked his mouth. His hand crept back toward Justin’s neck and gave him a really tiny pinch. His hand shot out faster than Niall expected and slapped him on the wrist right as the teacher looked up.
“Niall Horan, are you having difficulty reading?”
He shook his head, smiling as charmingly as possible and slumped back down in his seat.
“Actually I have your reading questions right here. I think we should go through them with the class.”
Why on earth would she want to do that? A zip of worry slithered through him before he squashed it down. He’d gone online and copied a bunch of stuff down about the book. Had barely paid attention to what he’d written.
“I’m quite impressed with your work.” She smiled sweetly.
“Thanks, miss.” He smiled with false bravado. “Took me a whole hour to answer those at home. My ma had to make me stop to have dinner.”
He’d actually spent about ten minutes on it, copying as quickly as possible so that he could hop on XBOX live with the rest of his mates, but this wasn’t the first time he had to flub his story about homework. The key was confidence.
Miss Dorton nodded at him. “I didn’t think you even knew what the word ‘perilous’ meant.”
The smile on his face wavered for a moment before he reinforced it, face brightening even further in order to compensate. “I know lots of words I don’t say here in school, miss.” He said slyly.
The other kids snickered and Niall felt a little bit more comfortable in the spotlight. He glanced over at Liam and noticed his disapproving look.
“Yes, well, based on the results of your last spelling test, I’d never suspect you could spell the word perilous, let alone use it in a sentence.”
The kids laughed once again, but this time they were looking at him, laughing at him. Niall’s cheeks burned.
“I’m beginning to think you didn’t write this, Niall James Horan. Should we call your mum and have her come here to talk about it?”
Color suffused his cheeks further and his heart started beating faster. Everyone was looking at him. He’d never had her challenge him in this way. A little bit of panic started to well up in him. His ma could not find out about this.
“No, I did write it, miss.” He mustered another smile to bolster his words, but he could hear the waver in his own voice. He tried to swallow but his throat felt dry as dust.
“I think you and I will take this into the headmaster's office and get it all sorted out.”
Niall blanched, fearful for the first time in his life. Normally there wasn’t anything that a sure smile and fib or two couldn’t get him out of.
“I can vouch for him.”
Niall whipped his head over to Liam. His brown eyes watched Niall steadily for a few moments before he turned to the teacher and smiled softly. “We kind of worked on it together. Which is why he might have used a few words you’re not used to. That’s not a problem, is it?”
In the few moments of silence that followed, Niall couldn’t seem to tear his eyes from Liam. He and Louis enjoyed taking the piss with Liam about how he was basically the teacher’s pet. Miss Dorton adored him. He always sat quietly in class and paid attention and always had all of his assignments done. But even more than that, if there was one thing he knew about Liam it was that he was unbearably honest. And here he was lying right to her face to protect Niall.
He glanced back over to her and she clearly seemed torn. Finally, her face gave way to a reassuring nod, “Thank you for letting me know, Liam. That makes much more sense now.”
She glanced over the whole class with a serious face. “Now I want everyone to get back to their reading. I expect you to be through page twenty by the time I’m done with these.”
Niall let out a long breath as he eased his heartbeat to a slower pace. He wasn’t into reading on a good day but he definitely couldn’t focus on it now. He stayed quiet, turning a page every once in awhile to keep up appearances. The rest of the class went by agonizingly slow, but thankfully Miss Dorton didn’t pick on him anymore. When the bell rang and they left the room behind he walked a bit and then waited for Liam to come through the door.
As soon as he’d come a little further down the hall, Niall ambushed him with a hug, ruffling his hair with his hand. “Liam, mate! Thanks so much for saving me there. You were absolutely brilliant.”
Liam pulled back, his face closed off and distant. “Please don’t ever make me have to do that again.” Liam eyed him quietly for a few more moments as the smile slid from Niall’s face and then he stepped away and walked down the hall.
Niall felt an uncomfortable warmth fill up his chest in the face of Liam’s disappointment, like he should call out to him that he was sorry. He really didn’t like that Liam was upset with him.
It was then, standing there in the hallway, that he realized that for all his plots and laughs with Tommo, Liam was honestly his best mate now.
2005
“Trust me, I took the class two years ago. Everyone takes it when they’re twelve.” Louis said in that know it all voice of his. “You’ll talk about everything I’ve already told you.”
Niall secretly poked Liam and rolled his eyes.
“Even about omegas?” Liam asked skeptically.
Louis let out a long suffering sigh. “Of course. They’ve gotta tell you about everythin’, don’t they? Who knows whether we’ll present as an alpha, beta or omega.” He snorted. “Although I think it’s safe to say who will be what.”
“What does that mean?” Liam asked, offended. His hair was cut shorter now so every time he had that look on his face you could see the concerned lines in his forehead. Niall just laughed because he knew not to take Louis seriously. At fourteen he loved to act like he was so much older than them and knew so much more. It was a load of shit.
Louis narrowed his eyes and cocked his head in their direction, looking decisive. “It means that I will become an alpha obviously. You will definitely be an omega, Liam.”
When Liam opened his mouth to protest, Louis cut him off abruptly. “Definitely an omega. End of story.”
He looked instantly disgruntled by the prediction and Niall tugged on Liam’s sleeve to get his attention. He shook his head and made a face that completely mocked Louis.
“And you, Niall, I can’t figure out whether you will be an alpha or beta. I’m leaning toward alpha.” Louis said it so seriously you would think he was handing down a verdict that would decide Niall’s fate.
“What a load of bollocks, Tommo.” Niall laughed and flicked him on the arm. Incidentally, Niall did think he would present as an alpha one day. He didn’t really have any reason to think that except for the fact that everyone else seemed to think it. “You do realize there’s a very good chance none of us will become an omega. Blokes don’t usually present as omegas as often as girls.”
Louis scrunched his face in irritation that his opinion had been questioned. “I know two lads that are omegas.”
“And how many do you know that are alphas or betas?” Niall asked just to prove him wrong. Louis could be such an idiot sometimes.
Louis scoffed. “You act like I’m supposed to know how many people I know.”
“But I’m right. Every other lad you know besides those two are alphas or betas.” Niall pressed his point. “So it is pretty weird.”
Liam decided to jump in. “I am not going to be an omega.”
Louis snorted. “I don’t think any lad wants to be an omega, but you don’t really have a choice on what you are, do you? It would be embarrassing to be different than all the other lads. And to know that you’re gonna be like, submissive to an alpha one day? I don’t get how anyone could want that.”
Niall and Liam murmured their agreement.
Louis smiled at Liam indulgently. “Niall will probably be right for once in his dimwitted life. It’s much more likely that all of us will be alphas or betas. Don’t fret, strange boy.”
Liam closed his eyes in exasperation. “How many times have I asked you to stop calling me that?”
“I’ve lost count.” Louis smirked. “You can ask as much as you want. Doesn’t mean I’m going to listen.”
2007
Niall went on holiday with his family three weeks after he turned fourteen. And it was only one day into their trip when he started getting the chills.
He told his ma he didn’t feel good and she allowed him to lie down in one of the extra rooms in the beach house they’d rented. It was absolute shit that he was getting sick. They were going to spend the whole day on the beach tomorrow and he knew they wouldn’t let him go if he didn’t feel better by then.
He pulled the duvet tightly around him while he shivered and couldn’t decide if he wanted it on or not, part of him was shivering but the other part was sweaty and wanted to kick everything off. His stomach hurt too but his head felt dazed enough that he was able to drift off after a while.
When he woke he immediately scrunched himself tighter as the pain in his stomach intensified. His mind was clear now which somehow made everything worse, he wished he could get that fuzzy headed feeling back so that he could fall asleep again and wake up when it all went away. A thought flittered through his head and it took him all of two minutes to settle on the truth of it.
He was presenting.
And the weird thing was that despite the agony, it made him grin like an idiot. Tommo would be so insufferable when Niall came home and told them all he had presented as an alpha first. Louis was already going mad that he was sixteen and hadn’t presented yet.
He winced again as the door to the room opened and both his parents came in to see how he was feeling.
“Oh my god.” His ma gasped. “We should have known.” She glanced at his da as they made their way toward the bed and Niall moved his eyes to him too. They were filled with shock.
“I can’t believe it. What are the chances, Maura?”
Niall wrinkled his head in confusion. He grimaced at the discomfort, “It’s not so bad. Soon I’ll be an alpha. Tommo is gonna hate me.” Niall mustered a laugh.
They gave each other a long look before she sat on the bed. “Can you go get us some water, Bobby?”
He nodded, some sort of communication going on between them that Niall didn’t understand. Once he left the room she turned back to him and gave him a soft smile, her fingers running comfortingly through his hair. “Sweetie, I know this might be shock to you and it is to your da and I, but you aren’t presenting as an alpha.”
The faint smile that was on his face slipped. “But everyone thought? Well, a beta isn’t half bad. It won’t nearly rile Louis as much though.” A deep pressure started to make its way through his stomach and he tried to breathe deeply through it.
“Aww love, I’m sorry, but you’re presenting as an omega.”
Bone deep shock ran through him like lightning and closely on the heels of that, denial. “Ma, that isn’t funny.” There was anger in his voice but also a breathlessness that meant he wasn’t quite sure if she was lying. “You don’t know that. I’m not even like- done yet.” He bit down on his lip when a particularly painful stab went through him.
Her eyes watched him patiently before she spoke up. “I’m sorry, Niall. I know it’s not what you expected, but what you are experiencing right now is what my cousin went through when he presented.” She sighed deeply and Niall had a feeling he wouldn’t like what she said next. She laid a hand gently over his abdomen. “Your body is changing on the inside right now, so that one day you will be able to carry-”
Niall felt heat spread down his neck. “Ma, stop! I know where that’s going. Just stop, please.” He begged. He shut his eyes and prayed he could rewind this holiday or his life or whatever would turn this whole entire situation around. He could not be an omega. Tommo would never let him live it down and Liam would be thoroughly pleased to know that Louis had gotten it wrong. The way everyone at school would look at him? God, why did he have to be such a freak! She had to be wrong.
“Ma, maybe presenting as alpha is the same as this, it makes all our bodies do weird stuff right?”
It was her turn to get heat in her cheeks and she cleared her throat. “Actually, the way an alpha presents is quite different.” She looked like she was about to continue and then stopped, as if she couldn’t quite figure out what to say. “Um-” She focused her eyes on the duvet to the right of Niall, “alpha’s present much more, assertively. They get a little out of their heads and find themselves overcome by sexual feelings. And they try to act on it. But they don’t really realize what they are doing yet.”
She shook her head to dispel the embarrassment, her tone even once again. “But the biggest indication, sweetie, is scent. It’s usually very lowkey but still noticeable and once someone presents you can tell if they are alpha, beta or omega. Beta’s are the most neutral, barely noticeable. But both alphas and omegas are quite distinctive. Especially during presentation or heat. Which is why your da and I knew as soon as we came in the room.”
Niall paled. It wasn’t even something he could hide from everyone else? Niall suddenly wanted to punch his Natural Instincts teacher because he felt like he did not go into near enough explanation about this when Liam and Niall had taken the class two years ago. Or maybe it was that he never paid much attention to the section on omegas. He frowned even though the pressure and pain in his stomach seemed to be lessening.
“I have to tell you one more thing and then I’ll leave you alone for a little while.” She blew out a breath before continuing. “So you’re gonna experience something next and I just don’t want it to frighten you, it’s natural.” She glanced out the window before returning her eyes to him. “When your stomach starts to feel better you’re going to start to feel something-“ She paused before continuing. “it will feel like something is leaking out of your bum.”
“Okay, ma!” He blurted loudly over her final words. This was going down as the worst conversation he’d ever had to have in his entire life. “Thank you, you can go. I don’t need to hear anymore.”
She stood up and smoothed a hand through his hair one more time. “Just come out whenever you are ready.” As she backed up toward the door, she rushed through more words. “Just remember it’s natural and your bum just needs to make sure everything’s in working order-”
“Ma, please! Go!” He covered his hands over his face and groaned.
The door closed and Niall felt absolutely numb lying there in bed. In a couple of hours his life had turned completely rubbish. He grabbed his mobile and started looking up everything he could on being an omega.
It was only ten minutes later when he started to feel the telltale slickening of his bum and he wanted to die. After about thirty minutes and five embarrassing trips to the adjoining toilet he was ready to leave the room.
They were all on the couch watching a late night film so he decided to just blurt out what he’d intended to say since he’d learned about it on the internet.
“Ma,” he glanced at both of them, “da, you’ve got to let me go on suppressants. Please.” He gave them the face that had always gotten him ice cream after footie practice and video games for his Xbox, only he laid it on about a hundred times thicker.
***
“Oi, Nialler! Quite rude of you to not come down to answer the door proper like.” Louis said as he jumped obnoxiously onto Niall’s bed.
“Did you have a good holiday?” Liam asked, plopping into the desk chair.
Niall was trying to figure out what to say over the pounding of his heart. He’d been on suppressants for four days- the expensive kind that also neutralized his omega scent- but for some reason it didn’t feel like it was actually real until now- this moment when both his mates were looking at him and he waited tensely to see if either of them were suddenly going to point at him and shout oh my god you’re an omega!
As the seconds ticked by and Louis turned his telly on and Liam started making the wheels squeak annoyingly with his desk chair, Niall breathed out in relief.
“It was okay, I guess.” Niall slid down to the floor, back leaning against his bed as he picked at threads fraying at the knees of his jeans.
“I don’t know.” Niall looked up to see Louis squinting at him from above. “There’s something different about you.”
Terror rushed coldly through his veins. He tamped down on the panic that was rising up by remembering that they couldn’t tell, no matter what his fears were.
“Yeah, Tommo, I am different.”
“You are?” Louis looked like he had gone out fishing and caught the prized trout. His eyes lit up with curiosity and delight, as if he hadn’t expected a confirmation from Niall.
“I presented while on holiday of all things.” He rolled his eyes, acting like it was a ridiculous annoyance and not the life-altering, most mortifying experience of his life.
He got what he was looking for when Louis immediately punched him in the arm, a dismayed look on his face. “You did not!”
“Ow! Lay off, you twat.” Niall complained and tried to aim a punch back at Louis but he evaded him easily.
“Congrats, Niall!” Liam said happily. “So you’re an alpha now?”
“Um, no actually.” He took a deep breath at their puzzled expressions and went for it. “You’re looking at 100% beefcake beta right here.”
Liam laughed and Louis huffed and smacked him in the back of the head. “You are literally the opposite of a beefcake. I’m pretty sure it requires more than ten percent muscle mass.”
And just like that, they believed him. Niall grunted in disbelief. He’d spent forever agonizing over whether he should lie to them or not, whether he’d even be able to get away with it and they just took him at face value. He couldn’t wrap his head around that. It had taken a lot of convincing his parents to get them to agree to keep it a secret. But in the end he was pretty sure they had crumbled under the weight of Niall’s desperate pleas.
And despite how smoothly things seemed to have gone it felt like any moment the rug would be pulled out from under him and they would laugh and tell him they knew he was lying.
“So what was it like?” Liam asked him in an offhand way, but he was staring at Niall so intently he knew that he was desperately interested. Louis’ eyes were glued to him as well even though he would never admit that he was dying to know too.
Heart beating hard, he began telling them exactly what it had been like to present as a beta. Or everything he’d looked up on the internet about it in preparation for this question.
Maybe he could actually do this.
2009
“I’ve about had it with him. I will murder him if you don’t stop me, Niall.” Liam sighed angrily and tossed the mini basketball through the hoop attached to the back of the door in his room.
Niall was lying back on Liam’s bed, watching him swish every single one of them through. He laughed and kicked at Liam’s leg where he was standing next to the bed. “I know Louis can be a bit of a cunt.”
Liam snapped his head back to give Niall a look. It was probably supposed to be annoyed but it was impossible to see Liam as anything but harmless. His hair had grown out and was curly, that added to his warm brown eyes never failed to make him look like a puppy. He’d stopped trying to straighten his hair because Niall never ceased teasing him about it. But of course Liam hadn’t teased him once since he’d dyed his hair blonde, had simply said “Cheers, you look great, Nialler.” In that disgustingly sincere voice no less. It was a pretty accurate example of how their friendship worked.
Liam huffed as he angrily tossed another ball through the hoop. Niall grinned and nudged his leg again. “Okay, more than. But you aren’t going to murder him so stop being dramatic. We both know that it is Louis’ goal in life to take the piss with everyone.”
“It’s been more than six months now.” Liam grumbled. He scratched at the side of his neck under the collar of his polo and along his arm. “I think maybe I’m having an allergic reaction to the laundry soap.” He said distractedly. Liam walked to the door and opened it to yell downstairs. “Mum! I hate the new laundry soap you’re using. Can you please get the old stuff again?”
Niall heard his mum chuckle and call upstairs. “Yes, darling.”
Liam shoved the door closed and turned back to the basketball hoop with a pinched look on his face. “Six months of him calling me a late bloomer and not leaving me alone because I haven’t presented yet.”
“Well, Louis did present late, so I reckon he’s gonna choose someone to lord it over. He didn’t present until he’d just turned sixteen, and now that you’re almost seventeen and still haven’t presented,” Niall laughed again at the betrayed look Liam gave him.
“Sod off, Nialler! Just because you’ve been a beta for almost three years doesn’t mean you can act like Tommo. You’re my best mate. You’re supposed to be on my side.”
Niall sucked in a breath. He really hated talking about it, no matter how many times his lie came up it was always uncomfortable. “Your skin is looking kind of red. Are you sweating?” Niall looked at the way Liam’s hands were shaking slightly.
“The itching is getting stronger like it’s under my skin and I’ve got a headache just now.”
Liam looked miserable so Niall scooted over on the bed to make way as he thumped down on the mattress next to him. Now that he was close, Niall could feel heat radiating off of him. He pressed a hand to Liam’s forehead and snatched it right back when he moaned. “You’re acting kinda funny. I’m gonna go get your mum.”
“No.”
Niall wrinkled his forehead in confusion, feeling funny inside. Liam’s voice had been low, like really deep and firm. Not like him at all and it like, pulled at something in Niall. Liam was breathing rapidly, lying straight and tense right next to him.
“Liam?”
He got his attention but nearly choked on his breath when Liam rolled over on top of him. He wasn’t that much bigger than him but his body felt like dead weight, making him feel heavier than he normally would.
“Get off me, you nutter.” He laughed.
Liam jerked slightly and he worried that maybe he really was allergic to whatever soap his mum had used and what if now he was having seizures because of it? He was just about to yell for Liam’s mum when he felt the press of Liam’s hips into his. Heat flooded his cheeks as he felt the outline of his hard dick. Niall thought he might actually die of embarrassment. “Liam.” He grabbed his shoulders and tried to shake him. “You’re acting really funny, mate.”
Liam seemed to wake from sleep, his eyes opened but they looked odd- had a glazed over look to them. Niall instinctively sucked in a breath at the intensity. He tried shaking Liam again but he pulled Niall’s hands from his shoulders and pressed them roughly into the pillow above him. The heat in Niall’s face and neck blazed hotter.
Liam clearly had not heard a word Niall had said because he kept doing that, with his hips. And it suddenly clicked.
“Jesus Christ.” Niall huffed out. “You’re fucking presenting now?”
Of course Niall would be the one who had to deal with this. He’d have no choice, he’d have to ride this out. Everything he’d been told about alpha presentation had stressed that it came on fast and intense, but blew over pretty quickly. And thank god he’d learned that they were always so out of their head that they never remembered it afterward. He did not need Liam to remember this and Niall would take it to his grave.
He laid there as still as possible, hoping to let Liam finish out the rhythmic press of hips. The thing was, Niall wasn’t immune to it. He was horrified to find himself stiffening up underneath him. The movements and the pressure, and the overall presence of just…alpha. Niall felt himself responding to it despite the fact that Liam was his mate. It was like they were two concepts that were fighting each other within his head.
He tried to resist any movement but couldn’t help nudging his own hips up a bit and, god, did that make it one hundred times better. Liam nosed his way up Niall’s neck and an involuntary whimper escaped that made him literally want to stab himself. Apparently Liam liked that noise a lot because now he was opening his mouth against his skin and Niall sucked in his bottom lip so he wouldn’t yell at the hot slippery heat of it. He tried tugging on his arms, but they were still caught up in Liam’s tight grip above him.
Teeth grazed him right where his neck sloped into his shoulder and Niall spread his legs, face burning at his automatic reaction. He’d never experienced anything like the instinct he felt right now, that made his body move before he even knew why he was doing it. And then he felt it, the undeniable slide of slick. As Liam continued to mouth at his neck, it began soaking into his pants, could feel the wet spot forming on his joggers.
His head was so hazy, heat wrapping him up in a cloud of pleasure that he couldn’t even bring himself to panic. The urges building inside of him felt like they were consuming every thought.
Liam seemed to scent the slick because his movements got firmer, faster. Niall’s arms were freed as he slipped his hands into the crooks of Niall’s knees and pushed them toward his shoulders. Nothing registered except for the delicious pressure of Liam grinding his dick right over the wet spot covering his hole.
Niall pressed his lips together, out of his mind with the sweet ache of Liam being so close. A wild thought flitted through his head, a vision where there were no clothes between them and Liam could push into him. A moan escaped as Liam opened his mouth over his throat.
He turned his head to the right to offer up his neck, not even knowing why, just doing it, not thinking. Liam’s teeth sunk lightly into his skin, enough to make indents and suddenly white hot flames rushed through him, and he was coming in his pants.
Liam made a deep noise in his throat and then Niall felt the warm spurt of his dick against his arse.
He flopped over onto the bed off of him and faceplanted into the pillow. Niall stared up at his ceiling, blinking absently as the heat seeped out of his body and sense came flooding back into him. He could not bring himself to look at Liam next to him. It seemed impossible that he’d just let him do that. It was one thing for Liam, who had just done it naturally and because his body was hardwired that way to present, but how had he let himself get caught up in it? They were mates for fucks sakes.
Liam wouldn’t remember any of this, which brought a small bit of relief, but he wondered if he'd ever be able to forget. He would die before he’d let anything get in the way of their friendship.
The memory of when he’d been ten and Liam had stood up to that teacher came to him unbidden. Liam had compromised himself for their friendship before. This would need to be Niall’s turn because the awkwardness of saying hey we kind of just went at it and made each other come in our pants would kill everything between them. Maybe not right away, he could picture Liam trying to be cool about it, to put Niall at ease. But he knew it would eat at him and eventually leach the life right out of their friendship.
Niall had only one choice really- protect his best mate the way he had done for him.
***
“Liam? An alpha?” Louis smiled proudly at Liam and patted his shoulder. “Miracles do exist.”
“Tommo.” Liam warned, eyebrows curving down in an unhappy line.
“Well, I just can’t picture it is all.” Louis shrugged, disbelief on his face as if it was the most bizarre idea he’d ever considered. “You going all alpha on someone.”
Niall snorted and they both looked at him. He rolled his eyes. “God, you two just never stop.”
He regretted getting himself caught in the web of Louis’ attention because he was eyeing him now with interest. “So do tell, Nialler. What was it like when he presented? I’ve heard stories about what it’s like.” He added slyly.
Liam was watching him steadily and Niall looked down at his mobile. “I don’t know I wasn’t there.”
“Yes, you were-”
He refused to look up at either of them. “I left as soon as Liam said he didn’t feel good.”
Lies. More and more lies, Niall thought he was going to suffocate himself with them. It was already the story he’d told Liam and he was pretty sure he’d accepted it happily, no doubt recalling how he’d woken up with come in his pants. But Louis was another story, so the only thing he could do is dangle another carrot in front of his nose in order to redirect his attention. He wished he could apologize to Liam in advance.
“I left right after Liam was working up a good strop about what a wanker you’ve been about him presenting.” He swallowed thickly down at his mobile, glancing up only once he heard a distinctive smack and an “ouch” from Liam.
“And I suppose you think you’re safe from me now, Payno?” Louis asked crossly. “Well you guessed wrong because now the discussion will be who gets to knot someone first. Or in your case taking a knot, Niall, seeing as your useless dick can’t.”
“Fuck off.” Niall snapped, but his eyes were immediately drawn to Liam and he couldn’t help but remember.
How Liam had been rubbing over his hole, just a few scraps of fabric between them and how he had wanted (for an insanely thoughtless moment) to know what it was like for Liam to push inside of him. Shivering, he realized he’d forgotten about the possibility of him knotting.
Liam looked at him dejectedly. “Why couldn’t I have been a beta? It’d finally get Tommo off my back.”
“No, it wouldn’t.” He and Louis both said at the same time and Niall quickly turned to him. “Jinx!”
“Oh bloody hell, we aren’t kids anymore.” Louis leveled his judgmental glare at him but Niall wasn’t buying it. If Louis had said it before him he’d be rubbing it in for the next hour.
2012
“I reckon we should move in together, you and I.”
The action and noise of the crowd on the telly drowned out Liam’s words. It was an absolute sick match and Niall’s eyes were glued to the screen. Derby County was dominating the pitch, which meant he hadn’t been able to tear his attention away for the last hour. He grabbed his beer off the coffee table and only became aware of Liam’s steady gaze as he pressed it to his mouth, turning his head slightly and quirking a brow.
“I’m serious.”
Niall swallowed and blinked at him uncomprehendingly. “About what?”
“We should move in together.”
Niall’s eyes strayed back to the screen, fingers tightening convulsively around the glass bottle. He took another long pull before turning back to him. “What for?”
Liam huffed out a chuckle as his face eased into a more enthusiastic smile. “Well, don’t go and jump at the chance to live with me.” Liam rolled his eyes and tapped on Niall’s arm. “Really though, it would be the perfect solution. Harry’s moving out to that fancy new place of his and you said yourself you’re not really looking forward to flat hunting for a single. I’m over here all the time. Or you’re at mine.” Liam’s shoulder nudged his. “It’s so stupid it’s been staring us in the face.”
Niall blinked a few more times and brought his focus back to the match. He felt the pressure of the seconds going by in silence, painfully aware that Liam was expecting an immediate agreement about it.
“Niall, are you really serious right now.” Liam let out an uncertain laugh. “Your brain isn’t immediately screaming yes to this? It makes perfect sense.”
“I dunno, guess it does.” Niall casually shrugged his right shoulder.
“Then what’s the issue?” Liam’s voice continued to waver between amusement and confused disbelief.
Niall grunted in annoyance as he turned back to the telly and noticed he’d just missed an incredible assist. He flung a hand out to grab Liam’s attention toward the game. “Can we talk about this later? They’re absolutely gutting Chelsea.”
“I should know by now never to try to have a conversation with you during a Derby match. Alright we can chat about it after.” Liam huffed, but when Niall glanced at him he saw the forgiving smile on his face. “Need another beer while I’m up?”
Niall nodded at him as Liam heaved himself up off the couch. As soon as he’d left the living room Niall breathed slowly out. His head was definitely in the game, or at least ninety percent. The rest was trying to work out how to let Liam down about the flatmate idea. And it was an increasingly unsolvable thing as Niall began to realize there was absolutely no reason he could come up with that would make sense to say no.
Liam came back in the room. “But think about it, Niall.”
He swiped the beer from Liam and rolled his eyes, snorting. “When I said later, I meant hours later, not two and half minutes.”
Liam sagged back into the couch while he scrunched his nose at Niall’s comment. “This is important! We’re always hanging out anyway and I’d be closer to work. And Niall, let’s face it,” Liam surveyed his place skeptically, “you need a flatmate who actually owns a vacuum and does the washing up.”
“For fuck’s sakes, Li. This isn’t an interview.” Niall’s mouth curved in exasperation. He felt like he was being dug deeper and deeper into a hole with every word that Liam said. He’d have no way of climbing himself out of this commitment.
“And all those times we decided not to watch another movie because you were too tired and had to go home, we wouldn’t have to worry about that.” Liam was on a roll and his eyes lit up with another idea. “Can you imagine us in our joggers, watching Batman and having a cuddle on the couch?”
Niall’s heart stopped. Because he could imagine it…he could imagine all of Liam’s horribly domestic tendencies all too well and those were the very things Niall would not be able to handle. He needed the safety of the distance between their flats, the separate spaces in which they lived. All too many times he’d smoothly shoved his coat on at Liam’s and used the walk home to redirect his thoughts. Pull himself out of that headspace that he should never have known about if it weren’t for being there when Liam had presented so many years ago.
It had never gone away, the knowledge of having seen a side of Liam that he knew Louis or Harry would never know. He’d found himself pushing thoughts of it away more often than he’d like for years now and he couldn’t live with Liam. He couldn’t because it would only get worse.
And on top of that there was the daily lie he lived pretending to be a beta. While he had that one on a pretty solid lockdown, he’d never felt comfortable in it. It was always in the back of his mind that he would get caught out unexpectedly. What if Liam accidentally came across his suppressants? Living in the same flat would only give more opportunity to that fear. Of course, Harry was a beta and he'd never found him out, you'd think out of anyone he'd be the first one to have noticed any inconsistencies. Then again this was Harry he was talking about here.
Niall bit nervously at his nails, completely having given up on what was happening on the telly. He glanced at Liam and winced. Jesus Christ, he’d pulled out the eyes. Liam knew how to use those brown fuckers to get what he wanted.
“Niall, I don’t know why you are even hesitating.” Liam looked at him with bewilderment now and if Niall was right, a shade of hurt glinting in his eyes.
It was true. Liam would never know why Niall was hesitating because he was pretty sure out of all the best mates in the world, he was the biggest lying bastard out of them all.
“I stood up for you against that harpy Miss Dorton and you can’t even do this for me?”
Niall leaned forward, elbows on his knees and face planted into his hands. “You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me,” he muttered wearily, then raised his head slowly. “It’s been nearly ten years and you choose to pull that card now?”
Liam’s eyebrows furrowed into an impressive sulk.
“Alright, fine! You can move in.” Niall shouted impulsively, his heartbeat pounding loudly in his head. It didn’t take genius to realize that he’d been doomed the minute that Liam had suggested it.
“Brilliant!” Liam said, clapping Niall heartily on the back. “This is gonna be so great.”
Harry chose that moment to stumble through the door, his face lighting up when he saw the company. "Well hello Liam, how've you been?"
Before he could answer Niall jumped in, chiding. "Maybe you'd know, you great lump, if you were at the flat every now and then, Liam's here all the time."
Harry gave him a droll look.
"Guess who's gonna be Niall's new flatmate?" Liam was fairly bursting with the news.
Harry dropped the empty boxes he'd been holding and looked pleasantly surprised. His eyes found Niall's, "oh you found someone, then? That's fantastic!"
"Me." Liam announced and Niall felt himself dragged closer to Liam on the couch as an arm hooked around his neck.
Harry's smile slipped into confusion for a second, and Niall felt his heavy gaze before he recovered. "Oh really?"
Niall knew the question was directed at him even if Liam didn't. He cleared his throat and forced a laugh. "You know Liam when he's got an idea in his head. Can't resist those brown fuckers."
Harry's eyebrows rose a little, "Indeed." He held Niall's gaze for a little bit longer and he knew that Harry wanted to ask questions. Things like how on earth could you agree? and do you enjoy making yourself miserable, you twat?
Niall had absolutely no good answer for those so he studiously brought his gaze back to the telly.
2015
“One of these days you are going to have to live on the wild side, Payno, and date an omega.” Louis said as he scrolled through his mobile, eyes glued to the screen.
Niall’s head snapped up from where he was looking through his own. Louis brought this up at least once a week but it never failed to startle him every time. But then again he had the same reaction when anyone brought up omegas, no matter who he was with. Had always made him twitchy.
Liam made a disgruntled noise in his throat and sighed wearily. “Not this again.”
Niall played nervously with the hair by his ear, blue eyes squinting at Louis. “Yeah, you do realize you’re a bit obsessed with this, eh Tommo?”
Louis glanced up in order to roll his eyes at him. “Niall, you don’t get to have an opinion.” He snapped. “Have you ever experienced yourself dangerously close to swelling your knot inside of an omega?”
Niall smiled acidly and raised a finger at him. “Swell this.”
Liam laughed and Louis blinked at him. “Charming, Nialler. But really, as a beta, you need to sit out of these little chats because you wouldn’t understand the urges that Liam and I deal with.”
A light flutter ran through his nerves and to cover it up he scoffed. “You’re so fucking high on yourself.” Niall kicked his foot out at Louis’ leg and smirked when he grunted in pain. “Even as a beta I can still see with my own eyes you’re bloody obsessed, you twat.”
Niall watched Liam sigh in exasperation, shoulders straightening afterward, looking like he was gearing up to defend himself once again and it made Niall smile.
“We’ve talked about this before.” Liam responded with his brow in a severe line, genuine concern shining in his brown eyes. “It’s not worth the risk dating them. Omegas are too fertile. What if you accidentally knot inside them, you’re likely to have a babe for sure.”
Louis’ eyebrows rose till nearly his hairline. “Whoa-ho, trust me, Payno. It’s worth the risk. My very first time with an omega, Brian-”
Niall shook his head, groaned and pressed the tips of his fingers into his eyelids. “Jesus, not the Brian story again.”
Liam gave him a sympathetic look and when Louis started up talking again Niall gave Liam a small eye roll. A tiny curve showed at the right corner of Liam’s mouth and he knew that was his we must humor him smile. Niall loved moments like this. When he and Liam communicated with faces and smiles. It seemed like they could carry on entire conversations without saying a damned thing. He dragged his attention back to Louis before he realized they weren’t listening.
“-it was one of the most terrifying things I‘d ever experienced. I was fucking him like crazy, drugged up on his scent and he wasn’t even in heat. I was so close to losing all control and knotting him. It’s absolutely insane having your common sense trampled over like that. You may know you aren’t supposed to knot them, but the instinct to swell is so intense, the terror that you might slip up and actually do it adds even more adrenaline. And that is how I discovered that fucking omegas is so much more pleasurable than betas.”
Louis turned to him. “Sorry mate.”
Niall sighed impatiently. “Lou, you tell me you’re sorry every time you 'entertain' us with that story. I don’t give a fuck. Just do us all a favor and stop telling it.”
“Nope. Not until it entices Liam to break his fuddy-duddy rules about only dating betas.”
Liam’s eyes widened, color mottling his face which meant he was about to get really passionate. “Tommo, you talk about the possibility of accidentally breeding someone like it’s a fun game! At least with betas, if you lose your head in the middle of sex and knot them, you can’t get them pregnant.”
“There’s a small chance you could.” Louis argued obstinately. He quirked an eyebrow at Liam. “Or they could secretly be taking amps.”
Niall laughed at that. “You been watching that soap opera again?”
“Yes.” Louis replied loftily. “But it does happen in real life too.”
He shook his head and laughed again at Louis’ condescending tone. He wasn’t wrong but it was still a bit dramatic for real life. It had happened to a friend of his cousin’s though. He’d been dating this beta for a couple months and the beta decided to secretly take amplifiers which would allow her to get pregnant. Without amps betas have an extremely low pregnancy rate. If an alpha were to partner with a beta they pretty much need to be used to have a baby. Whereas it’s the opposite with omegas.
Which is also something that had terrified Niall when he’d learned he was an omega. He had been well taught in school how fertile he was and suppressants were not birth control. Niall could have all the sex he wanted as long as he didn’t let an alpha knot him. But nothing caused knotting more than an omega in heat. An alpha’s reaction is so strong to the heat that the urge to knot is almost inescapable. So suppressants are mainly taken to prevent heats.
“What about you, Niall?” Liam cocked his head curiously. “Have you ever been with an omega?”
Niall stilled at the question. His brain scrambled to come up with a truthful sounding lie. The fact was that he’d never been with anyone ever. His lie was so huge, how could he take the chance? He pretended to be a beta every day of his life. He could fuck an omega but his own nature had shrunk away from the idea every time. He didn’t want to fill someone else up, he wanted to be filled. And he sure as hell couldn’t let an alpha fuck him, as soon as they felt the slick they’d know he wasn’t a beta. So he just didn’t have sex at all. He sure as hell had never admitted that to them.
He shifted his eyes to his jeans, picking at the frayed edge at the knee because Louis had the ability to see a lie in them from across the room. “There have been a few of-”
Louis made a funny face and groaned. “Oh who cares about Niall’s experiences with omegas. He’s probably had loads of them. They prefer to date betas because they can't knot.” His expression shifted to confusion. “Although it is odd that you never talk about your exploits. I can even get Liam to talk about his even though he gets all red-faced and fumbly with his words.”
“Hey!” Liam scowled. “It’s a private thing for some people. Not everyone feels the need to confess every detail about their sex life like you, Tommo.”
“Yes, well that is what makes me an alpha.” Louis stressed.
“It has nothing to do with words.” Liam responded, voice level but confident. “Trust me. I’m all alpha when it matters.”
Niall had been watching the back and forth exchange, but at Liam’s words he tried to hide the shiver that ran through his body.
The suppressants prevented him from detecting Liam’s scent, but a deep longing washed over him to be able to sniff him out right now. It was blocked for a reason though. He knew that if he got a hold of Liam’s scent his body would react, which Liam would in turn be able to smell and then he’d know.
An unfortunate thing that had actually almost happened when they were seventeen.
At the time, his parents had forgotten to refill his suppressant prescription as he’d discovered one morning. He had been this close to getting his parents to agree to let him stay home but they had refused. They told him the pills were meant to last 36 hours not just 24 so he would be fine to go to school and they would get the prescription filled on their way home from work. Niall could barely remember that day because he’d been such a nervous wreck.
One moment had always been etched into his memory though. The school day was over and he’d been walking out to his vehicle in the parking lot, waving to mates to try to appear as casual as possible even though he’d wanted to get the hell out of there. He had just gotten to his car with fingers wrapped around the handle. It was then, his eyes caught on Liam, standing with a group of people and he sniffed once in the air and realized he could smell him. Of all the kids surrounding him in that moment, all of them washed away and he’d instinctively zeroed in on Liam specifically.
Heavy and warm, musky and sharp, his scent had instantly twisted everything up in inside him. He’d inhaled deeply several times, sucking in the delicious alpha scent of him that was at once insanely familiar. It was only a few moments later that reality had splashed over him like a cold bucket of water when he’d felt himself slickening up. Could feel the trickle of it down the curve of his arse. It was only the third time he had experienced it in his life but he’d recognized it immediately. He’d watched as Liam’s body had stiffened and his words had cut off. He was just turning his body around when Niall opened the door and slid into the driver’s seat, heartbeat going insane.
To this day he wasn’t certain if it had been his scent that Liam had caught a whiff of, but he’d been scared shitless after that. Had made sure his parents never forgot again.
In his head Niall was aware that at some point the truth would have to come out. He couldn’t spend the rest of his life pretending to be a beta. Over the last couple of years he had told himself next year, but he’d never been able to do it. And suddenly he was twenty-two years old and still hiding it. He had been considering telling Liam during their annual camping trip this year, but was still on the fence.
Niall knew two things for certain. Liam hadn’t ever shown the slightest interest in him as more than a mate and he had even less interest in dating omegas. So for now, the lie could stay put. If anything else it would put him at a further disadvantage if he knew because Liam wouldn’t be dating omegas anytime in the near future.
***
And then there was Danielle.
It started with Harry actually. Frozen yogurt was his new obsession and he had convinced all of them to go to a new place. He could absolutely strangle Harry because of his obsessions.
They were absolutely ridiculous and knew no boundaries. There was the one month that he completely stopped taking showers because bath salts had become his new thing. He’d literally bought dozens of scents, brands, the whole nine yards. The closet near his toilet was absolutely crammed with them. And then there were two weeks when he was obsessed with Sudoku puzzles and none of them could do anything without him having one of those fucking puzzle books in his hands. Or the time he had narrowed his diet down to broccoli and mandarin oranges. That one had only lasted six days. But this obsession? The froyo one? They were going on week five for that one.
Niall wondered what might’ve happened if he’d gotten over it one week sooner. But it was alive and well and he’d dragged them to Yogurt Plus for dessert.
That is where Danielle came in. She was beautiful and had a laugh that even made Niall’s lips tug upward. But the thing was- Liam was flirting with her.
Which wouldn’t have been odd except that she was an omega, was wearing a shirt that said omega and proud of it for christ’s sake.
And if that hadn’t given her away to Niall, the equal looks on Liam and Louis’ faces would have told him enough. Clearly she hadn’t been masking her scent. He hated her a little bit then. Hated how brazen she was about it. The fact that she could be like that because there were so many more female omegas than male.
Niall watched her flirt outrageously with Liam, watched Liam puff himself up and posture. He stood to the side, laughing with the lads when it was appropriate and hoping the hollow ring to it wasn’t obvious. Louis stepped back a bit and patted Liam on the back, a small form of encouragement that Niall swallowed bitterly at the sight of. Harry had squeezed his arm in comfort a few times but it didn’t seem to help.
The thing was- Danielle seemed like a nice enough girl. Honestly, had a humor that absolutely roasted Louis a time or two. Good on her. But she represented something that stood like an iron wall, blocking Niall’s objectivity. In some way, Niall had always clung to the fact that Liam never dated omegas. It made it easier for him to swallow the fact that Liam would never be interested in him like that. Because in Niall’s mind, his feelings toward Liam didn’t matter because Liam wouldn’t date him anyway if he truly knew what he was. It was safer thinking that that was the deal-breaker and not that Niall was only just a mate.
By the time they’d gotten their frozen yogurt and sat down- Liam staring at Danielle’s phone number in his mobile- Louis was clapping him on the back like a fucking proud father and being so loud that Niall’s muted mood had gone unnoticed. He sat in the booth twisting the hair by his ears, offering up enough laughter to appease everyone and periodically eating a spoonful. His laughter started to sound more and more forced the longer they stayed as he watched Liam steal secret looks at her behind the counter. Finally, they all seemed ready to go and he stood, grabbing his cardboard cup and spoon.
“Are my bloody eyes fooling me? Do I need to go and get them checked, Niall? There’s no way that you have a full cup of yogurt left.”
Niall tossed it into the bin and gave Louis tight smile. “Feelin’ out of sorts, is all. Think I might have a kip when we get back.”
Liam turned to him, concern shining in his eyes. “Was it something you ate? Should we stop by a store and pick up some medicine?” He walked over to Niall and felt his forehead with the back of his hand making an affirmative noise although Niall had no idea what the hell it was confirming. “Yep, you feel warm. Straight to bed with you when we get back.”
Niall honestly hadn’t meant to capture all of Liam’s attention with his lie, but he also couldn’t say he was upset about it either. Not when Liam pulled him into his body with his arm crooked around his shoulders and didn’t once look back at Danielle as they walked out.
***
If Niall had thought he hated Danielle, then he absolutely loathed Sophia.
At least Danielle hadn’t stuck around long enough for Niall to really be concerned. The fact that Liam had only dated her for three weeks had given him hope. Maybe he’d just needed to get that one omega out of his system and now he would say don’t know what the fuss was about and move on. Go back to betas.
But he didn’t. And it got worse because he met Sophia and once again Niall had been there at the momentous occasion of them meeting, had to witness the instant connection that Liam seemed to go on about ad nauseam.
It had been at a fucking pub. Niall’s favorite by the way which was now forever tainted.
She had been out with some sort of omegas independence thing. Niall couldn’t rightly say, but they were a raucous group of woman and he’d seen more than one of them stand up on a chair and announce “death to omega stereotypes!” wearing sashes and the whole lot.
Niall had been there with Liam. Pictures had been taken. Like those polaroid ones that you stick on the walls at some places. Paul’s place didn’t normally cater to things like that but he had a week-long celebration going on for the pub’s tenth anniversary and part of it had been getting his patrons to plaster their pissed up pictures on the wall. It had taken Liam to half midnight and copious amounts of alcohol to convince Niall to take one.
Even though he’d fought tooth and nail against it, a soft smile crept on his face as he leaned against the bartop and watched Liam take it to fasten to the wall. So it was then that he noticed the long haired brunette, wearing one of the sashes and pissed to hell, veer into Liam as she made her way over at the same time. She curved her hand over his bicep and Liam leaned in to whisper something to her. She laughed out loud and they nudged each other with their elbows as they posted the pictures up.
Niall watched it all with a sinking sensation in his stomach. His eyes skittered away and he tapped the bar to get Paul’s attention. The movement made him lean more heavily on it, not as steady on his feet as he was an hour ago.
“Paulie, think I’ve had enough of the pints, let’s move to the whiskey.” He turned away from the sight and watched Paul give him a long look before pouring him a glass. “Hey, don’t go easy on me, mate. I’ve proven myself better than two fucking fingers. Keep going!”
Niall noticed Paul’s shoulders tighten but it quickly filtered out of his head as he kept pouring and then slid the glass his way.
“Cheers!” Niall held up the glass, winked and grinned as big as he could manage, tilting it back and not letting up until he’d finished it off in one go. He slammed the glass down on the bartop with a satisfying thud.
“One more, Paulie. Come on.”
“Not a chance, Horan. I think it’s time I called you cab.”
Niall looked at Paul, incredulous that he was being refused drink. Never in his life had he been refused. Then again, it might’ve been a really long time since he’d been this pissed. He chuckled at the thought and realized Paul didn’t seem to share the joke, staring at him with a frown. He tapped the bar again.
“Paulie,” he made the name last ten seconds, hoping it pulled at his heartstrings. “You’re a good man, I know you’ll get me another. You’ve met my da. You know what the Horans can handle.”
Paul sighed and Niall grinned. He knew he’d won.
“Fine, I’ll give you this drink but then I’m calling you cab and you’re gonna take it home and pour your arse into bed.”
Niall heard the sound of Liam’s laughter mixed with female giggling and found the muscle at his right eye twitch. He snatched the glass up, sloshing a bit of it and swallowed it the same as he’d done the first one. It barely burned going down, especially in comparison to his heart at the moment.
The bottles lining the mirror behind the bar started to blur nicely together and Niall laughed to himself, not even knowing what it was about, just letting it fall brokenly from his lips. He clenched the glass tightly in his hand and waited for the cab Paul had promised him.
Current
It felt good to hear the crunch of the forest floor underneath the tires now that they’d finally pulled off of paved road. The site they always camped at was just ahead and Niall was looking forward to grabbing some aspirin out of his bag. Long car rides always gave him a headache.
He and Liam were both wearing similar clothes, plain soft cotton shirts and skinny jeans, but by this point he knew they were both looking forward to switching into shorts. The tightness of the jeans over his legs while they’d sat in the same spot for hours was driving him nuts.
Liam slowed the vehicle to a stop. “Liam and Niall’s annual camping trip will now commence!”
Niall glanced over, his grin growing along with Liam’s. “You are such a tit.”
Liam blew a raspberry at him.
“I’ve gotta wee so I’m gonna do that while you take care of your headache.”
Niall nodded and moved around to open the back end. He had to move a few things around in order to pull his bag out, laughed when he saw a few fireworks tucked in the box with foodstuffs. Liam always had to bring a couple along every year.
“Oh god, does it ever feel good to stretch my legs.” Liam called out from somewhere behind him.
“Yeah it does.” He muttered as he rifled through his bag, looking for the pocket he always put his pills into. He grabbed out the little bottle of aspirin and took two of them with the bottle of water. He swallowed it down and then frowned. Stuffing the bottle back into the pocket, he sifted his hand around, at first slowly and then more urgently, his pulse picking up.
His breath came faster as he started pulling clothes out of his bag, pressing his fingers into every edge and corner searching frantically for the skinny orange pill bottle.
His bottle of suppressants. It wasn’t there.
He tore through all his clothes again, not caring that he was mangling it all up. He just prayed that it was caught up between a pair of jeans or a jumper. He shoved everything viciously back into the bag as reality sunk in.
He’d forgotten to bring them.
“We have to go home.” Niall shouted as he turned around. “I forgot something and I really need it. We have to go back.”
Liam looked at him in confusion. “What did you forget that is so important?”
Niall felt strangled by his own panic. He scrubbed his hands over his face, pressing his palms into his eyes. “It’s not important. I just need it.”
He opened his eyes and looked imploringly at him. Concern was etched across Liam’s face. “Niall, I just really don’t understand. It’s a two and half hour drive back.” He stressed. “That’s five more hours of driving.”
“I know what I’m asking, Liam.” He snapped, his left eye twitching. “I know how long of a fucking drive it is. I’m not an idiot. We need to go back.”
Annoyance flashed in Liam’s eyes and his jaw set firmly. “I don’t know why you’re freaking out about whatever it is you think you need. But if you can’t even tell me what it is, I’m definitely not driving five more hours so you have it.” He folded his arms stiffly over his chest.
Niall clenched his jaw and looked out into the pine trees surrounding them. Jesus, how could this have happened? He’d never forgotten to bring his suppressants when he’d traveled in the past. Not once.
He bit at his nails, pacing as his mind raced to find a solution. Maybe he didn’t need to worry about this. He had planned to tell Liam the truth about being an omega this weekend anyway, right? So it wasn’t that big of deal. Maybe Liam wouldn’t even have believed him when he told him. This way his scent should come back in the next day or so and Liam would certainly find out then. A stab of anxiety rushed through him as he realized that he wouldn’t have an option of chickening out now. At least if he had brought them with him he could have backed out of the whole confession thing, now he wouldn’t have a choice. Liam was going to find out one way or another. He laughed bitterly. Well, maybe this was for the best.
He glanced at Liam who was still standing by the car with his arms folded over his chest, letting Niall work through his panic on his own. He noted the stubborn set of Liam’s shoulders and he knew him well enough to recognize that he genuinely would not budge unless Niall explained. Liam would move heaven and earth if Niall needed him to as long as he felt it was a worthwhile reason.
He was certain that Liam would go back if he outright told him he needed his suppressants. It would be an extremely long car ride home, with lots of explaining on his part but Liam would do it. Niall debated for another minute but in the end he just wasn’t ready yet to tell him the truth. He needed some time to figure out exactly what he’d say. Now that it loomed with certainty in his future, his brain was scrambled.
“Have you finished freaking out yet?” Liam asked. “I’m sensing that you still don’t want to tell me what you forgot so I’d just like to remind you that it’s getting dark and I’d like to get the tent up soon.”
Niall nodded. “Yeah, I’m done. It was nothing. I was just being silly.” He scratched absently at a mosquito bite on his elbow.
A smile slowly spread across Liam’s face. “That’s what I figured, Nialler. Now help me unload the car.”
He could point out to him that he was using his fake smile, but Niall was just happy that he’d let it be. That’s one thing he could always count on Liam for. He grabbed two pillows at the same time that Liam grabbed for the bag holding the tent and they jostled each other with their elbows. Niall breathed out a laugh. He hoped they could do this. He needed their friendship to survive the truth that he’d been lying to his best mate for almost ten years.
***
The birds outside their tent roused Niall earlier than he would have liked. Before he’d even opened his eyes he could feel how cold his nose and cheeks were which meant the sun hadn’t risen enough to take the night chill out of the air. He snuggled deeper into his sleeping bag, tucking his nose under the top edge of it. It was then that his eyes flew open. Shifting around, he had felt the weight of an arm around his waist.
Now that he was wide awake, he was plenty aware of the heat of Liam pressed all along his back, nose pushed into the crook of his neck. Niall closed his eyes for a moment, soaking in the feeling of Liam wrapped around him. The hand around Niall’s waist traveled up his stomach and pressed into his chest, pulling him further back into him. A whine nearly escaped when Liam pumped his hips several times, nudging the hard line of his dick into Niall’s arse. And then Liam snuffled sleepily into his neck.
The noise seemed to jar him awake. Niall caught his breath just as Liam’s body stiffened. Silence reigned for a full minute as they both laid there, Niall allowing Liam the time to get his bearings.
Eventually he spoke, “Liam?”
Cold air rushed into Niall’s sleeping bag as he pulled away. “Oh my god, I am so sorry. I just- I don’t know why I was laying like that with you.”
Niall turned over to zip up the side. Liam’s brown eyes were a swirling mixture of confusion and guilt. “I really am so sorry. I- I have no idea what made me do that. I didn’t mean to invade your space like that.”
What he’d really love to do is tell him that he could invade his space like that anytime he wanted to. Instead, he huffed a laugh. “Jesus, Liam. It’s no big. It’s not like we haven’t had a cuddle before.”
“Yeah, on the couch.” Confusion continued to line his features. “But not in bed.”
Niall swallowed back his irritation. Clearly, Liam was absolutely horrified at the thought of sleeping with him in that way. It stung a bit, but then he reminded himself that Liam had always been the type of person to wallow in his guilt when he thought he’d done something wrong. The only way through this was to make light of it.
“If anything you probably made me sleep better last night than I normally would have. It’s fucking freezing up here. Was it this cold last year?”
Liam had not been diverted by his question so Niall rolled his eyes at him. “If you don’t get that ridiculous look off your face I’m gonna smack ya. Please don’t make me take my arm out of this sleeping bag, it’s absolutely frigid in here.”
A small twist at the corner of Liam’s mouth told Niall that he’d finally broken through.
“Now, let’s go back to sleep. I’m not waking up again until the sun sweats me out of here.”
***
In reality, they’d woken up a couple hours later so there was still a little bit of a chill in the air.
Niall was currently huddled over the makings of a fire while surreptitiously watching Liam chop firewood with an axe. It had always been one of his favorite parts of these trips. Liam in plaid, swinging the axe ferociously down into the logs. Jesus, it was mesmerizing.
“What?”
Niall blinked twice before Liam’s question registered. “Nothing.” He pulled his gaze away from his heaving chest and gestured vaguely toward the firepit. “Just makin’ a fire.”
“Looks like you aren’t doing a very good job of it.” Liam arched an eyebrow and nodded down toward it, a slip of a smile lurking. “Need me to come over there and show you how it’s done?”
There was the slightest hint of something in his tone, whether it was arrogance or authority, Niall wasn’t sure but it instinctively made his gut go soft. He felt the urge to duck his head. Niall followed his eyes to the pitiful pile of sticks and random scraps of newspaper that had completely burnt out. God, he was really off his game this trip.
“Shove off. I’ll get it going.” He grumbled.
“Are you sure? What more do I need to do around here? Chop the wood and start the fire?” Liam was so amused by himself he had crinkles by his eyes. “And what will that leave you to do? Prepare the meals and warm my bed?”
Liam’s smile flickered for a second, as if he hadn’t meant to say that. The joke feeling too soon after this morning.
Niall felt warmth spread up his neck at the thought of warming Liam’s bed. “Oh come off it with your alpha talk. Just keep chopping, lumberjack. We’re gonna need lots of wood this weekend.”
Liam huffed but pulled his arm back, swinging the axe swiftly down in a practiced arch.
Ten minutes later, Niall had a nice little fire roaring and Liam had stripped the plaid off. The firewood pile was growing and involuntarily, his eyes seemed to always find their way back over there. Dark sweat marks stained Liam’s gray shirt at his armpits and every few minutes he stopped to pick up his plaid and swipe it over his forehead and the back of his neck. Niall shifted on the large wooden log he was sitting on, uncomfortably aware that he was running out of time from the suppressants he took yesterday morning. He had about six more hours before the effects started to wear off. Besides that one time about six years ago, he’d never had to test the limits of the pills. Even though the label had advised that they lasted a full 36 hours, his doctor had told him it can vary per omega, could last shorter or longer.
He still hadn’t gotten his shit together about how he was going to explain it to Liam. But sitting here watching him sweat and vigorously swing an axe was not going to help him.
“You about done?”
“Yeah, I’ve got a couple more and then I can quit.”
Niall got up to grab a bottle of water from the cooler, figuring Liam would want it as soon as he was done. “I was thinking we could head out to our fishing spot.” That was where he had originally planned on telling him. It was a nice, quiet little clearing near a small lake. Comforting and familiar in a way that he figured he’d need in order to do this right. With six hours, possibly less, this was his best shot.
He walked closer and Liam’s face twisted in concentration as he split the last few pieces. Niall clutched the bottle in his hand, leg jiggling, unable to turn away. Once done, Liam stalked over to him with eyes crinkled in happiness. He opened his arms wide. “It’s fishing time!”
Before Niall knew what was happening, Liam had him wrapped up in a tight hug. He tried to wriggle free, cursing, but Liam just laughed and held him even tighter. “How’s a nice sweaty hug for you?”
“Jesus, you really need to stop being a dumb alpha.” Niall clenched his eyes tight and hoped the quiver in his voice was muffled by his face being pressed into Liam’s neck.
***
The trek to the lake was taking longer than Niall remembered. But then again he was pretty sure those other times he hadn’t had a care in the world, whereas now it felt like a hundred pound gorilla was sitting on his chest.
Over the years, he and Liam had perfected the art of comfortable silence when they were out in the woods. He was very grateful for that now because he was completely lost in his own thoughts as they walked quietly on the trail. They kept a brisk pace, making Niall break out in a mild sweat when combined with the nerves coursing through his body.
He watched Liam stride ahead of him. He’d exchanged the grey shirt for a deep blue one and had the plaid tied around his waist. The dark color seemed to accentuate the wide expanse of his shoulders tapering to the trim set of his hips. It hit him then, for some reason, how much time had passed since they’d met as boys. Maybe it was the trees surrounding them reminding him of the park where he’d first glanced up and looked at Liam standing there, upside down in his line of sight, but whatever it was the Liam walking in front of him now was so far from that timid boy. His eyes roved over the rucksack on Liam’s back and the two separate packs he had strapped over his shoulders, having prepared for every necessity that they might need at the lake. The corner of Niall’s mouth quirked, well not all aspects had changed. He was still the overly studious, careful person that Niall had grown up with.
His eyes narrowed as he looked past him and noticed the trees clearing about a mile ahead. Liam wasn’t the only one who’d maintained his boyhood traits. Without further thought Niall sprung forward and clipped Liam lightly with his shoulder, rushing past him.
“Last one to the lake has to put all the worms on!” He laughed, grin spreading wide and mischievous.
“Not fair! You dirty cheat!”
Niall laughed again, feeling the cool air rush past him as he listened to the pounding of their feet on the dirt path. It made his heart ache, how much he missed this. Wished it could be this simple, wished he hadn’t lied all those years ago, wished he didn’t love his best mate. He pressed himself harder, felt his body respond with speed, trying to run away from all his regrets.
The clearing came too quickly, making him slow until he stopped, turning to see how far Liam had gotten behind him. He bent his body, planting his hands on his knees to catch his breath, chest heaving with the effort. Niall smiled at Liam as he ran into the clearing, in a similar position to him.
“If I broke any of my fishing poles I am going to bloody kill you.” Liam grumbled through broken gasps.
Niall tutted. “Oh go on with you, Liam. Still not okay with getting a bit of dirt and woodchips on you?”
Liam looked puzzled for a moment until it registered. “Have you been getting sentimental on me during that walk?” Liam smiled, still breathing hard. “God, I hadn’t thought about that in forever.”
Niall shrugged and turned his back to him, feeling too raw to continue the conversation. “Every time we come to this lake I get surprised all over again about how beautiful it is.” He ruffled his hand through his hair, staring out over the calm water.
He wished they could run some more. Now that they were here and the adrenaline was wearing away, the pressure was back.
They walked toward the dock and began getting their poles ready, Niall pushing Liam’s hand away when he went to rig it with a worm. He hadn’t been serious about that.
Niall used the silence they had once again found to focus his thoughts, organize what he was going to say. He tried telling himself it was absolutely ridiculous that he was worried. Liam would be shocked at first sure, but he wouldn’t care. But he knew that wasn’t it. It was the fact that Niall had hid it all these years, had lied to Liam about it. That was the reaction he was worried about. Liam was the most honest person he knew so he naturally detested lying.
From previous trips, he knew that they would stay for a few hours. He breathed deeply and tried to clear his thoughts. Niall decided to give himself an hour to just relax and enjoy this time, maybe once he’d done that he’d have an easier time putting the words together to tell him.
The tension eased out of his shoulders and Niall sighed, long and deep.
“What was that for?” He caught Liam’s quick glance before he cast out his line.
“Nothing.” Niall replied. “Just good to be here. Relaxing.”
Liam nodded his agreement and then their words melted away into quiet around them. Niall relaxed further at the familiar sounds of their lines being cast, opening and closing of the tackleboxes and zippers. Only a few muted words were spoken between them if one of them needed a lure or a different size hook and the other responded without hesitation, movements swift and sure as they handed things back and forth periodically. Liam nudged his shoulder once and pointed out to family of ducks not far from shore.
For quite a while they had both been catching small fishing, nothing that they were able to keep, but the overwhelming sense of peace settled into Niall and he couldn’t remember a time he’d enjoyed more in a long while.
“Niall! Come quick, I’ve got a big one.”
“Shit.” Niall scrambled up and over to grab the pole with him. He bit his lip in concentration as the rhythm of pulling the pole up and reeling, pulling the pole up and reeling, continued. “Christ, what pound line is this? Will it hold?”
“Dunno. I hope it does.”
After a couple minutes of struggling Niall finally leaned over for the net and they pulled the fish up, careful to hold it underneath so it didn’t get away.
“For fuck’s sake, Li. How in the world did’ya find that one?”
They both looked at one another, astonished at the size of the bass. After mandatory pictures, Niall laughing at the blissed-out look on Liam’s face, they got it in the live well and only then did he notice how late it had gotten. The sun was getting lower much more quickly than he expected and he wondered, pulse racing, where the time had gone.
“God, what a beauty, that.” Liam was still marveling over the bass and Niall nodded absently. He dropped the net onto the dock just as Liam walked forward a few steps and clapped Niall on the back, dragging him in for a full embrace. “Great idea to come today.”
It was short, but full bodied and before Niall knew it Liam was pulling away and bending down to take the worms off his extra poles. “Should we pack it in, then?”
“Yeah, sure.” Niall busied himself with packing up his poles and tried not to let the panic clog his throat. How had he completely wasted this opportunity? He had to do it, right now was the perfect moment too in the quiet light of dusk, right off of the tail end of Liam’s happiness over his catch. But he couldn’t get the words past his throat, they were stuck like glue, his heart rate speeding up now that the time had come.
They stood up, Liam with the live well dangling from his hand and started to head back. Niall was so consumed by his own thoughts that he barely heard Liam’s chuckle.
“You stink by the way.”
“What?” Niall turned to him, puzzled.
“Are you sweaty or something?” Liam asked him. “Or did you get lake water on you?”
Niall stared at him, confusion growing.
Liam laughed again, “it’s just when we hugged I noticed a smell.” Liam’s face looked abashed and he rubbed his free hand against his neck. “Just wasn’t something I was used to. But it wasn’t really strong, Nialler, don’t worry. In fact, stink was probably the wrong word. It didn’t smell bad or anything. Forget I said anything.”
An icy trickle of dread slid down Niall’s spine. He swallowed thickly and nodded over the thundering beat of his heart in his ears. Here was his moment. Liam had given him the perfect way to tell him exactly what he was smelling. Niall was breathing so hard he thought his heart was going to beat right out of his chest.
No time, he didn’t have any more time. He felt panic clawing at him, the edges of his vision feeling blurry for a moment.
Suddenly fingers snapped in front of his face, interrupting his thoughts. Niall turned to him.
“Hey, no need to take it so hard.” Liam laughed, brown eyes searching his. “Honestly, let it go.”
And before Niall could respond Liam had walked ahead of him, pace fast, much faster than on their way to the lake, no doubt wanting to get back before it turned pitch black on the trail. Niall had no choice but to shut his mouth and pick up his own pace.
***
Niall woke to a low noise coming from the back of Liam’s throat, felt like it was vibrating straight into Niall’s ear, making him shiver. It took all of a second to register that they were back in the same position as the night before. Liam was pressed up to his back and his hips had a nice rhythm going against his arse. Another low noise rumbled through Liam’s throat as Niall felt the tight squeeze of Liam’s hand on his hip. He couldn’t stop himself from whining in response.
“Niall,” Liam groaned hazily. “Don’t do that.”
“Do what?” He asked breathlessly. The sound of Liam’s voice was doing ridiculous things to his body. It sounded hoarse and deep, caught somewhere between sleep and wakefulness.
“Whine like that.” Liam pressed his hips more roughly into him and Niall couldn’t stop the keening noise from coming.
“Can’t help it.” Niall grumbled back, helpless to stop himself from grinding his arse back invitingly.
Liam’s grip on his hip tightened painfully and all movement stilled. “Wait, what is going on?” Confusion rang through a much clearer sounding Liam.
Niall bit his lip and blinked into the inky darkness of the tent. Heat scored his cheeks and he hoped that Liam had still been caught up in sleep enough that he didn’t grasp Niall’s reaction. Liam had at least reacted on instinct within the hazy confines of sleep. His body had no way of knowing it was Niall.
He slammed his eyes shut in guilt. He had definitely been awake and aware, was just unable to resist the pull. Niall could smell Liam now that the suppressants had fully worn off and the alpha scent, Liam’s aroused as hell alpha scent, was sharp and invasive.
The hand on his hip tightened and a soft noise of pain escaped Niall’s lips.
Liam’s hips ground into his at the sound. “I can’t believe this is happening.” Liam groaned, panic bleeding at the edges of it. “This needs to stop. We need to stop this right now.”
“I know.” Niall bit out. But really. Jesus, Joseph and Mary he did not want this to stop. He felt like he was ready to crawl out of his skin at the thought of being this close and not getting Liam’s dick inside him.
“I’m going to get out of the tent and you need to follow me, the air is cold enough, it should knock some bloody sense into our heads.”
A grunt sounded behind him as Liam pulled away and Niall felt the loss wash over him. It felt wrong. He rolled over as Liam unzipped the tent and hauled himself up to follow him out.
They both eyed each other warily.
“You’re a bloody omega.” Liam announced in shock. The sheer dumb disbelief smoothing over Liam’s ashen face made Niall break out in a sweat.
He nodded solemnly, twisting nervously at the hair by his ears. His chest felt impossibly tight, each inhale of cold air felt like shards of glass going into his lungs. He hopped back and forth a bit on his feet because even though he had thick socks on, the ground was freezing underneath.
Liam’s eyes traveled over him frantically and his fists tightened at his sides. Niall watched as he opened his mouth and then slammed it shut. Screwed his face up in complete bewilderment and then blurted. “How is this even possible? I thought you told us you were a beta.” That seemed to have incensed him even further. “You are a beta!” He insisted desperately.
Niall pressed his lips together and shook his head. “Sorry. I’m not.”
Liam looked absolutely flummoxed so Niall continued with dread. “I kinda lied about that.” He scratched the back of his head anxiously. “I’ve always been an omega, I just took suppressants.” He shrugged apologetically and scuffed his sock against the pine needles on the ground, still shivering. “Remember that vacation I took when I was fourteen and I came back and told you guys?”
Liam nodded dazedly.
“That’s when it happened. I’m sorry. I was young and freaked out.” He added with a bit more emphasis. “So I lied and I told everyone I was a beta and it just kind of stuck.”
Liam stood there, mouth open and rapid puffs of breath becoming visible in the crisp air. Niall began biting his nails, body tense, wishing he knew what he was thinking.
“So it was your suppressants.” Liam finally said, certainty flooding his voice. “That you forgot.”
Niall nodded again. He decided the silent route might be the best in this instance. He’d known Liam long enough to know that he could get overwhelmed by things he didn’t understand. But he also knew that although Liam might be going a bit haywire, he would settle down soon enough and be back to his steady, dependable self. He just needed to sort it all out in his head, and until he’d done that he could be a bit cagey.
Dread swept over Liam’s face. “You really should have told me as soon as we got here. I would have gone back. How could you have forgotten your suppressants right before you were about to go into heat?”
Niall scrunched his face. “No, Liam. You’ve got this wrong. I’m not going into heat. In fact I don’t even think my body knows what time of the month I’m supposed to anyway.”
Liam ran his hands through his hair in exasperation, eyes widening. “And how is that possible?”
Niall felt color fill his face, uncomfortable with the turn of the conversation and mumbled. “I’ve never gone into heat before.”
Liam’s eyes widened a fraction of an inch more. “What was that?”
“I’ve never gone into heat before.” He ground out, louder.
“Of course you have.”
I flicker of irritation ran through him. He understood he was a bastard for lying about this shit the whole time, but his limit of understanding was hitting its end. It looked like it was half four in the morning, he was freezing his arse off and everything about this was the opposite of how he had imagined the conversation going.
“For fuck's sake, Liam.” He closed his eyes for a brief moment and pressed two fingers on the bridge of his nose feeling a headache coming on. “I’m not standin’ out here in the fucking cold, debating this with you. I’ve never gone into heat before. My parents got me on suppressants immediately.”
“Oh my god.” Liam breathed out, his voice having a quiet, hysterical edge to it. “Oh my god this is not happening. Please tell me this is not happening. I’m out here in the woods with an omega, who is off his suppressants and about to go into heat.”
Niall opened his mouth to argue but Liam cut him off, his demeanor flipping on a dime. He looked utterly serious. “Don’t. You’ve never had it yet which is why you probably don’t know what to expect.”
Liam walked up to him and inhaled deeply into his neck. “But you are definitely about to go into heat.”
***
They both went into the tent with the intention to go back to sleep for a few hours, but in reality they had lain there in awkward silence, neither able to drift off. After the sun had risen far enough to warm the tent they dressed and went about their business getting the campsite ready for the day.
Liam worked to get a fire going while Niall got a pot of water ready that they could heat up for some instant coffee. He also hunted through the food to find something they could eat for breakfast.
And it was just- it was weird. He might be wrong but it felt like Liam was hovering. Always in some sort radius spanning around Niall, body held stiff and hands clenched but still near. No matter where Niall moved about the camp, Liam was busying himself close by. He almost convinced himself he was imagining it until he slipped on some pine needles and even though he righted himself before he could fall, Niall immediately felt the warmth of a hand on his waist. He’d nearly jumped out of his skin at how fast Liam seemed to have reached out for support.
Liam also seemed surprised by his own reaction and stepped back, releasing him like his flesh burned.
It's not like it wasn't something Niall would love to have directed toward him, but things were awkward between them and he was on edge enough as it was.
"What are you doing?" He asked lightly.
“Well I- I was just-” Liam sighed through gritted teeth. “I didn’t mean to, I promise. But it’s just sort of an instinctive reaction. Especially as your omega scent gets stronger.” He finished with a light color grazing his cheeks.
“Oh.” Niall swallowed self-consciously, tugging his hand through his hair. “Your scent is pretty strong too.”
Liam grimaced. “Unfortunately it’s only going to get worse.” Liam scratched his jawline, looking nervous. “The pull will get stronger.”
“What are we gonna do?”
Liam sighed, “Well we can’t drive home.” His shoulders shrugged in a helpless gesture. “We have no idea how quickly it will progress and me being behind a wheel and you in the passenger seat will not go well at all when it really hits you.”
Niall laughed shakily and scratched his temple uncertainly. “What’re you saying? That we’d get in a crash or something?”
“No, but we would end up pulling the car aside and I’d rather take care of things here privately than by the side of a major motorway.”
Liam looked absolutely serious.
“What the fuck do you mean by take care of things?” Niall felt his heartbeat speed up. The longer they talked the more Niall felt like he didn’t know anything. He suddenly regretted that he’d never looked up more on being an omega. The thing was that he’d been denying it for so long and hadn’t had any plans on telling anyone so it had never seemed important before, he’d actually always been more obsessed with learning everything he could about betas just so that he could pass off as one more convincingly.
He watched Liam rub his hands up and down his face. “I’m going to have to get you through it as best I can.”
“As in?” He widened his eyes meaningfully at Liam and he nodded back.
Niall warred back and forth in his own head. Liam was basically going to be giving him the one thing he’d always wanted and for that he couldn’t seem to control his pulse. But the look on Liam’s face had his heart dropping in his chest because his body looked stiff and more than anything he look determined. Like it was his fucking responsibility and he was going to follow through no matter what. Good ‘ol Liam, always the responsible one. Christ. His stomach twisted.
This had to be one of the cruelest things that had happened to him. To be offered the one thing he wanted…but not like this. He never wanted it to be like this.
"Have you ever knotted anyone?"
“No,” Liam replied emphatically. “I’ve always been too worried about getting someone with child, even with betas there’s a small chance. And it’s plenty good to have sex without knotting. I can get you through the heat without knotting you, Niall. It takes longer, we will need to-” Liam cut himself off briefly and gestured between them, “more, but we can manage. It only takes one time with knotting as that is kind of- well it’s pretty much what you’re looking for when you’re in heat. So it goes away after. But it’s fine because I have had practice not knotting.”
Niall raised an eyebrow, thoroughly confused. “Isn’t that the same thing?”
Liam widened his eyes and laughed shakily. “Not at all. Having sex is just having sex. But when someone’s in heat and you have sex, every fiber of your being wants to knot that person. It’s almost impossible to resist.”
“But you’ve had practice…resisting.”
Liam rubbed the back of his neck self-consciously now that the discussion was focused on his own experience. Niall was grateful for the reprieve.
"You know the last omega I dated? Sophia, she um, she said she had always wanted to go through a heat. Wanted to know what she could expect from it. So she begged me to help her through it but not to knot her."
Niall nodded along but inwardly he was irritated. Who the fuck would even ask someone to do that? Niall wanted to say as much aloud but he doubted Liam would appreciate it. He’d probably instantly go into defending her request and Niall wasn’t in the mood for that.
"How was it then?" He asked, even though he really didn't want to know. Didn't want to hear in detail about Liam like that with someone else. "No way were you able to stop it."
"I was able to go through with it," he admitted quietly. "It was definitely the hardest thing I've ever had to go through in my life. And it was-" Liam cut himself off and glanced sharply at Niall "I've never told Tommo this, so please-"
"Don't even need to ask." Niall said simply.
Relief washed over Liam's face and he stumbled to continue, "it was actually sort of not enjoyable? I know Tommo would never let me live that down if he knew. But it honestly wasn't. I was so focused on not knotting her that my head was out of it and the strength it physically took to hold back the knot." Color suffused his cheeks now. Liam had never been comfortable talking about stuff like that. "Well let's just say it was unpleasant all around."
"So that's what you'll have to go through with me." And just saying it like that, god, the very thought that Liam would be inside him at all, even if never properly knotted, Niall's face began to heat in embarrassment.
Suddenly Liam’s face seemed more positive. "Yeah but don't you see? I don't think it's going to be that bad, Niall."
He looked at him confused.
"See, I saw Sophia romantically so I think that made it harder. You're my best mate. We don't view each other like that so I don’t think it will be hard at all to resist."
Niall nodded, absolutely gutted by Liam’s words, praying that the look on his face was sufficiently happy. "I think you might be right, Liam." He coughed. "That's great news."
***
They worked around camp, both intent on ignoring the elephant in the room until they didn’t have a choice.
Liam was cutting logs with a ferocity Niall had never seen before, taking out his energy for the better part of an hour. Liam seemed intent on perfecting his swing, ignoring everything but the repetitive motion of it. Niall searched the edges of camp for sticks they could roast marshmallows with. Couldn’t bring himself to go too far away, but he also needed something to focus on, otherwise he’d just sit there staring at Liam.
His awareness of Liam, his scent and his presence had become more intense. And it was almost like Niall wasn’t aware of any difference in his body until all at once he was. A warmth pooled underneath his skin, every inch of it and it made him want to scratch even though it didn’t exactly itch, it was just a restlessness he couldn’t still.
One moment he had been sitting by the fire whittling sticks, the next he’d rocked himself forward and out of the chair, needing movement, needing to do something to occupy the unfocused energy building in his veins. Niall strode over to the wall of firewood Liam had created, ignoring the look he shot Niall’s way, and reached toward the top to grab wood for the fire. Liam had gone through so many logs that the pile was as tall as Niall which caused him to grunt uncomfortably as he tried to pull from the top.
“I’ve got it.”
Niall swallowed thickly as Liam stepped up behind him, his eyes closing briefly as he moved into his space to grab the log he’d had been reaching for. But rather than stepping back to put it in the fire, he felt Liam hesitate and then lean his face slowly into Niall’s neck, breathing in short sniffs down the curve of his throat, the light touch of his nose just barely dragging along his skin. Niall’s fists clenched as he fought the desire to lean back into him.
The heat that was building in his body flared higher, turning up the intensity as he felt his nerves fraying. Liam dropped the piece of wood to the ground and stepped further in his space until he was blanketed over Niall’s back.
“It’s building isn’t it?” Liam said lowly into his ear.
Niall nodded absently, his face was no doubt flushed a rugged shade of red. It felt like heat was emanating from every pore. It reminded him of when he’d suffered a fever in the past, being both dazed and frantic, unable to settle on any one thought. Only now he was feeling everything in overdrive every single second. Like the puff of breath against his neck, or the graze of Liam’s forearm against his elbow.
Niall groaned, low and deep, sinking back into Liam’s body and leaning his head back on his shoulder. Through the haze of his mind he was vaguely aware of the long hard press of Liam’s cock against him, his harsh breathing in Niall’s ear.
“I’m going to take care of you.” He heard as a whisper before he felt a firm hand wrap around his hip and pull him toward the tent.
Once they had stepped inside and the tent had been zipped, Liam advanced on him quickly. “We should get the first one over with as quickly as possible.”
Niall nodded absently, overwhelmed by the feeling of Liam pushing roughly at his clothes. The rightness of it, of Liam taking charge of him made something glow sharp and intense inside him. He tilted his head up slightly on instinct, just enough to bare the curve of his throat a bit more.
“Jesus.” Liam cursed.
Niall felt his hands tighten painfully on his shoulders. A brief moment of stillness passed before Liam was nosing his way into his neck, nipping along the skin, marking him. "Oh god, you smell so good. It seems absolutely absurd to say but it’s true.”
The words blazed through him and he wanted to hear them again and again. But the floor dropped out from under Niall as Liam fastened his mouth to his neck, open and slick, lips a tight seal against his skin. He shuddered at the feel of it. He’d craved this for so long, since that time Liam had no memory of and now that he had it again it was overwhelming his senses.
“You taste incredible.” Liam whispered into his skin.
Niall swallowed back a noise that was trying to claw its way out of his throat. The heat in his body was building, could feel the slippery slide of slick down his arse. Without even needing to ask him, Liam gripped Niall’s hips, his thumbs dipping below the band of his pants as he began dragging them down. Niall felt like every nerve ending under his skin was heightened and the only thought invading his head was the need to feel his body against Liam’s. Now that he was fully naked he tugged on Liam’s shirt.
“I suppose I should do.” Liam murmured as he started to slide his own clothes off.
Niall watched, mesmerized as he dropped his shirt and then his jeans onto the floor of the tent. Before he could help himself, he stepped forward, pushed his face into the crook of Liam’s armpit and inhaled, smelling the mixture of sweat and alpha.
Liam grunted in pleasure and pulled Niall’s head back just enough so that he could finish pulling his pants off. His cock sprang free, jutting upward and Niall hungrily eyed him, the thick long length of it. He’d seen Liam’s dick before, obviously, they’d all seen each other, you don’t grow up as close of mates as they were without it happening. But he’d never seen Liam hard. He whined with the need pressing inside him, his skin feeling feverish.
Liam stepped closer and pulled him in. “I know, Nialler. I know you need it. God, it’s filling you up, isn’t it? Your body is crying out for it” Liam’s eyes were dark and intent. “I’m going to check that you’re ready for me.” Niall watched him swallow thickly. “I’m pretty sure you are, based on your smell, but I need to make sure.”
“Yeah.” Niall responded breathlessly, shivering as their chests brushed. He trailed his hands up to rest on Liam’s shoulders to steady his body and nearly bit his lip off when Liam’s hand glided over the curve of his arse. Heat coiled in his head and extended throughout his entire body, making every touch that much more intense. He held his breath as Liam’s fingers slipped closer, widening his stance a little bit. The moment he felt them graze the slippery skin around his hole he leaned forward and pressed his mouth into Liam’s shoulder, slamming his eyes shut in pleasure. He gasped against him when Liam nudged a finger past the ring and glided it easily inside. It was the most incredible thing he’d ever felt and heat burned even more intensely inside him when he thought about the fact that soon Liam would be buried there.
“You’re definitely ready.” Liam said, voice cracking in the middle of it. He pulled his finger out, gliding his hand upward and letting it smear a trail up to his hip.
Niall wanted to speak, to tell them that, yes, he was fucking ready but his body was so caught up in need that he couldn’t even make his throat work to say anything. So he did the only thing he could think of and pressed his body against Liam’s, wrapping his arms tightly around his neck and pressed his mouth to his. It seemed to ignite action on Liam’s part, his tongue invading Niall’s mouth in exactly the way he wanted. With swift, confident movements Liam moved them down to the sleeping bags. Niall squirmed around, rubbing himself frantically against his thigh.
“Need it.” He gasped, blue eyes pleading with him and Liam growled. The sound vibrated straight up Niall’s spine and turned his stomach to jelly. He wanted that, wanted Liam’s growls and firm hands and sharp thrusts, needed it like he needed air.
Like an answered prayer, he bunched the sleeping bag up under Niall’s lower back and seconds later Niall felt the pressure of Liam’s cock driving inside of him. It was fast and intense and he instantly felt like every muscle in his body quivered with a need that had been met just to be able to clench around him.
Niall fluttered his eyes open to see the look of concentration on Liam’s face as he started thrusting deep and quick.
Liam leaned down to kiss him and it was good, so goddamn good but it wasn’t enough. Niall’s instincts were screaming out to him that he need more. He was frantic with it.
He grabbed the hair at the back of Liam’s neck and tugged upward until they could lock eyes. “More.” Niall whispered hoarsely. He nudged his nose against Liam’s. “Need more.”
Liam’s eyes slammed shut. “Jesus. I can’t.” But his cock was driving into Niall harder now, hips snapping with a new intensity that took his breath away.
Suddenly, Liam pulled out, kneeling straight up with his fist clenching tightly around the base of his dick. Niall whimpered at the loss, eyes fastening on how obscene it looked, glossy red from Niall’s slick.
“What- what’re you doing?” Niall breathed out, desperate.
“I need a minute.” Liam wouldn’t quite meet his eyes and he grimaced. “Too close to swelling.”
Without thought Niall reached a hand out and circled the tip of his finger around the shiny head. Liam’s eyes went wide, hips jerking instinctively forward. Niall slid the rest of his fingers around him, getting them messy and wet in the process and began slipping them casually up and down.
Liam made a noise deep in his throat and slammed his eyes shut. “You need to stop that.” His voice came out tight and emphatic.
Heat swarmed Niall’s brain and all he could think about was Liam shoving himself inside of him again. He pulled gently on his cock, giving Liam no choice but to follow, all the while sliding his fingers messily around him. He got him back to where he was before, snugging his wide head over Niall’s hole.
“Need you.” Niall rasped, his voice sounding like nothing he’d ever heard before.
“Can’t.” Liam husked. “I’ve never been this close to knotting in my life.”
Heat flooded Niall’s neck and he caught Liam’s gaze, holding it hot and intently. “Knot me.”
He nudged his hips, causing the head of Liam’s cock to nuzzle a bit further in. Liam shuddered, blinking several times before his glazed eyes found Niall again.
“I shouldn’t.” Liam said, but his eyes were desperately searching Niall’s.
Niall leaned up on one elbow and grabbed the side of Liam’s face with his other hand, bringing him further down between his spread legs. “You should.” He answered breathlessly before he closed his mouth over his. Liam’s tongue slid inside at nearly the same time as he pressed himself back into Niall, the deep slick pressure of him filling him up once again. They both groaned into the kiss.
Liam planted his hands on either side of Niall’s face and leaned up. As he looked down at him he began thrusting, firm and deep. Niall slipped his legs around him, heels digging into his lower back.
He felt it then, the pressure growing inside him as each time Liam thrust forward the press of him was thicker, dragging on his rim and making Niall gasp. He saw the flicker in Liam’s eyes at Niall’s reaction, the instant his thrusts got harder, pushing into him relentlessly.
“Jesus, that’s good yeah?” Liam closed his eyes for a second, barely catching Niall’s frantic nodding. His chest tightened in satisfaction as Liam leaned down on his forearms now, draping his body more heavily onto his. Liam was getting obscenely large near the base of his cock and the force of his thrusts became fiercer. Niall breathed through the stretch of it, wriggling slightly at the way Liam was grinding it into him now in small circles, working it in. It was a constant press on his prostate, the thickness leaving no room for anything but pleasure stringing Niall’s body tighter and tighter.
“You can take it, Niall. Open up for me.” He whispered quietly against his mouth. Niall felt the words pour over him like heat, unraveling him. He couldn’t tear his eyes away from Liam’s gaze, his mouth hung open slack.
Liam pressed in, further, his breathing ragged right along with Niall’s and the pressure of the width of him was unfurling something inside of him. Liam pushed his hips in one final tight thrust, finally getting the fullness of his knot shoved inside him and then a guttural noise escaped him long and deep as Niall slammed his eyes closed, shooting a mess between them. He shuddered through the delicious feeling of Liam completely inside him, his come filling him over and over again.
Liam was now leaning his full weight on him and the pressure on his chest made it difficult to breath, but Niall lay there, shallow puffs of breath going in and out because he didn’t want to ask him to move. Not yet. He resisted the urge to wrap his arms tightly around him and press his face into his neck. He wanted to soak up this moment because it would never happen again.
Liam finally seemed to make an effort to move, putting his hands flat to the tent floor and lifting his body but then he stopped as they both felt the tug. Niall hissed a bit at the tenderness. He’d always kinda wondered how the knot worked and he definitely had his answer, they were snugged together right good.
Liam’s eyes pressed tightly closed. “We really did it then, hmm? Bloody hell.”
Niall couldn’t miss the note of regret coloring his words and it caused heat to bloom in his chest, a heat that was sharp and painful. He knew why Liam was saying that.
They were best mates and they’d normally never have done this unless it was absolutely necessary.
It wasn’t just sex but he’d knotted him.
Niall wasn’t a beta, he was an extremely fertile omega.
Niall could get pregnant.
There were any number of reasons that perfectly explained Liam’s words and tone of regret, but it just. Niall didn’t want to hear it. He was coming from a completely different headspace and he’d prefer it if Liam would just shut the fuck up for the time being because Niall was feeling too raw and exposed right now.
“I think we’re going to be locked together like this for a little bit now so we might want to find a more comfortable position.” Liam informed him briskly.
He nodded his head and they both rolled onto their sides. Now that Niall’s head wasn’t foggy with the heat, everything was happening in the horribly gritty light of reality. He was incredibly aware of his nakedness, of Liam’s hand spread over his hip and arse, encouraging him to crook his leg over Liam’s hip to bring them closer together. Liam’s fingers felt like sandpaper on his too sensitive skin and he periodically felt the gush of come inside of him. There was already a full feeling, it was the one thing that made him feel vaguely comforted. He was oddly not freaking out yet about whether or not he was pregnant, like there was something plugging up the wires on that processing through his brain. Right now, when he took stock of his body, all he could summon was a feeling of satisfaction like he’d never felt before.
But even that wasn’t enough to keep the reality of their situation at bay. He was hyper conscious of the way his dick was pressed soft between them, of the bit of discomfort from his come drying on both of their stomachs and wondering if it was freaking Liam out.
“How long is this going to take?” Niall’s voice came out rusty and it made him realize he hadn’t said a thing since he’d told Liam to knot him in the thick of it.
Their eyes made contact for the first time since they’d both come. Liam looked at him steady as he answered. “From what I’ve been told, thirty minutes maybe? Though I can’t rightly say because I’ve never done this. Obviously.”
Niall blinked at him a couple times, trying to figure out how the hell they were going to make it out of this thirty minutes and still be mates afterward, as the minutes passed it would no doubt get more and more awkward.
Liam’s eyes shifted away. “Of course- I mean I don’t know if this is true- but, well, I had heard that you can speed up the process but-”
“What has to be done?” Niall asked. He was both curious just for the sake of it and part really, really desperate to do whatever it took to move this along.
Color rose to Liam’s face but he met Niall’s eyes. “It has to sort of be, um, milked from my body- jesus that’s the worst wording ever. Like if you grind down on it or something?”
Niall nodded his head decisively, “okay let’s do it.”
“Really?” Liam seemed dazed that Niall had agreed so fast.
“Well, we need to get this shit over with, don’t we?”
He didn’t even wait for Liam’s response, just sort of rolled their bodies gently over again until Liam was on his back. Then he gently moved around, planting his feet on either side of Liam’s ribs and leaned back, hands flat on the tent floor. This was the best position he could think of to grind his arse down onto Liam’s cock. He started rocking himself down, but refused to look at Liam through the spread of his legs. He pushed away the mortifying thoughts of being spread apart like this in front of him and focused on the motion. It was definitely there. He understood now what he’d meant, because Niall could feel the regular pulse of come inside him the more movement he made. It was possible he could work this down to a couple minutes.
He glanced back at Liam but then his eyes stuck on the sight. Liam’s head was craning back, mouth open and it was the most breathtaking thing Niall had ever seen. It hadn’t occurred to him that this would be enjoyable for Liam. A delicious heat curled inside of him and his dick twitched. He started to jerk his hips in shorter bursts, the sharp push-pull tugging at the swollen base of Liam’s cock and tight ring of Niall’s hole.
Several noises escaped from Liam’s mouth and Niall could feel himself getting hard again despite the fact that the pressure in his arse was lessening. He felt one huge gush from Liam as his body stiffened underneath Niall and then he was slipping free the next time he thrust back. It felt bizarre to suddenly be free of that connection, the separation feeling more than just physical.
Niall stood up shakily and realized immediately that that was a mistake. Embarrassed, he shuffled over to his sleeping bag and laid down as quickly as possible, praying that Liam hadn’t noticed the come leaking from his arse.
“’M’ just gonna lay down and kip for a bit.”
“Oh.” Liam fumbled with pulling his clothes back on. “Okay, yeah. I’ll just um-” he seemed scattered and pointed a thumb behind him, “I’ll go see what we have for dinner. And poke about camp for a while.”
Niall nodded his head jerkily and as soon as Liam left the tent he shimmied into his pants and trousers as quickly as possible, shoving a shirt haphazardly over his head, then cursing when he realized it was Liam’s navy blue one from the day before and smelled like him through and through. He straightened out and the wet trickling sensation from his bum diminished. It hadn’t occurred to him that he’d have to worry about come leaking out of his arse, Christ. He prodded at the soft skin between his hips and could feel how full of come he was. A shudder ran through him and he traced his finger back and forth, through the light trail of hair that dipped below his waistband. The noises of Liam outside the tent, tings of metal and grunts, a soft curse here and there lulled him to sleep and soon enough he was drifting off.
***
Niall woke, disoriented for several moments as he tried to piece together what time it was. It was fairly dark and he could see the light of a bright fire illuminating the front side of the tent. How long had he been asleep? A shiver ran through him as the cool air invaded his t-shirt…one that was too big for him. Niall frowned and then lifted it to his nose, smelling Liam’s scent and then remembering tossing it on in hurry. He sucked in a sharp breath. Surely that was all a dream?
The faint sound of Liam singing outside the tent made everything seem even more off center. Niall couldn't ever remember feeling more confused. Had he been off his rocker and dreamed all of that? As he sat up, the tight skin feeling of dried come on his stomach confirmed things for him. There was still a part of him though that questioned it as he pulled on a jumper, thick socks and slipped shoes on before unzipping the tent. Maybe he’d had a wet dream? Hadn’t had one of those in years.
He stepped out, rubbing the fleshy part of his palm against one of his eyes, and yawned.
"Hey." Liam smiled at him.
And it was one of the most horrible smiles Niall had ever seen in his life. It was curved over his face, like every single one of Liam’s muscles were convinced they were putting on an Oscar worthy performance and everything is okay! when in reality it looked like something from a wax museum.
So he definitely hadn’t dreamed it. It had definitely fucking happened.
"Hey."
After the acknowledgements their gazes shot in different directions and they avoided each other's eyes. Considering what they’d just been through, Niall figured it would be awkward, but the discomfort emanating from Liam's body was off the charts.
He sat down in a chair opposite him in front of the fire, taking the offered stick with a hotdog speared on the end.
“Didn’t have the energy to cook up anything proper. So I just roasted a hotdog and threw it on a bun. Hope that’s good enough for you.”
Niall nodded in silence, eyes stuck to the flames licking at the end of the stick.
He played back what’d happened earlier in his head and heat flooded his neck, anxiety creeping in and blooming larger and larger in his chest, moving along his frayed nerves. Had his eagerness been obvious? He was certain that he could’ve played anything he’d done off on the heat, but the memory of when he’d reached out for Liam’s cock. And- and pulled him back to him. Flames of another kind ate Niall up inside. He wished he had the power to block that humiliating moment from both of their minds.
What had he been thinking?
He glanced surreptitiously at Liam who also seemed to be lost in his own thoughts, pensively staring at the fire.
The words that had come out of Liam's mouth washed over him. You can take it, Niall. Open up for me.
For fuck’s sakes, he could not think about that. Niall shifted in his seat and carefully pressed a hand into his half hard dick. At that moment, Liam’s eyes raised and their glances met before skittering away. Okay, so they had both been a little out of their heads. Niall probably didn't need to worry about Liam calling him out.
“I think I’m actually going to turn in now.” Liam stood up swiftly. “You good to watch over the fire as it burns down a bit?”
Surprise washed over him and Niall resisted the urge to ask Liam to stay up. Some of the funnest moments they’d had camping were at night when everything seemed quieter. Their conversations had run the gambit of serious and reflective to flat out silly. Sometimes staring up at the stars and talking about things far beyond their knowledge. Or that one time they’d gotten absolutely pissed and threw fireworks into the fire. (that had not been a good idea)
Niall bit his bottom lip, trying to hide how upset he was before he answered. “Yeah sure. I’ll keep an eye on it.”
The zipper closing up the tent behind him felt loud and final.
Niall slid the hotdog off the stick and took a bite. He chewed it even though it felt tasteless to him, having suddenly lost his appetite. He tossed the rest into the fire. He’d truly fucked things up.
A quiet, bitter laugh bubbled up from his throat and he stabbed the end of the stick into the burning logs, sending hundreds of tiny flecks of ember into the air before they died out.
To think that he’d thought the worst thing that would come out of this trip was that Liam would find out he was an omega. To think he’d been worried that Liam might take time getting over the fact that Niall had lied about it for almost ten years. Never in his most imaginative thoughts had he considered the idea that by the time the trip was over they would have fucked.
He stayed up for a very long time, waited until the flames had all but vanished and what was left was a soft glow from the embers at the bottom. Only then did he decide to drag himself up out of the chair and shiver his way into the tent.
Tomorrow they’d be packing up and heading back and Niall had no idea if Liam would be his best mate anymore.
***
Niall praised the heavens that they were finally home. He followed Liam up the flights of stairs to the door of their flat and sighed in relief. He had just been through the most uncomfortable car ride he’d ever experienced.
Liam had not said one word to him, except for the one time he informed him they were stopping for petrol and to use the toilet. So it was two and half hours of intermittent changes of the radio station and fiddling anxiously with his hair. Every time he’d noticed himself doing it, he’d stopped. He’d chanced a few surreptitious glances at Liam but had only caught stiff posture and tight grip of his hands on the wheel and that was enough for him to not look back. He’d wondered last night if he’d still have his best mate in the morning and he’d gotten his answer for him. It was a resounding no.
Maybe he was being unfair. Maybe he should be allowing Liam more time to deal with what happened, but in the end there had to be a better way than this? If they were really the best mates they claimed to be then surely they could turn this around? He honestly didn’t see how they couldn’t just laugh this off and find their equilibrium again.
Without any need of communication they both set their things down in front of their door and trudged back downstairs to grab the second haul of items.
Back at the car, Niall shoved the strap of a bag over one of his shoulders and grabbed the final box. It wasn’t until he was maneuvering carefully back up the stairs behind him that he saw the box still had the fireworks in it that Liam had brought with them.
His chest twisted painfully. Goddamnit, this was so fucked up.
Louis burst through the door to the flat. "Niall? What the fuck? Liam? I was wonderin' who you were coming up the stairs with, was a foreign scent. Niall what the hell is going on?"
He paused on the step and swallowed reflexively as he realized he was in for round two of oh yeah, by the way I’m an omega. God, he hadn’t expected Lou to be at their flat. All he wanted to do was set this stuff down, go to his room and sleep for two days straight. But nothing else was going his way so why not. He laughed a little hysterically as he stared up at his confused face.
He moved to go up a step but Liam spread an arm out and moved his body further in front of him, shielding. "Now hold on, Tommo. Lay off him, it's been a crazy couple of days."
Niall snorted and brushed roughly past Liam on the stairs. That was really fucking rich. Wouldn’t talk since the night before but he’d go into defense mode for him?
He pushed past Louis and stormed into the flat, dropping the box and bag unceremoniously onto the carpet and strode to the fridge for a beer. He turned to Louis, blue eyes burning with irritation, “I’m actually an omega and Liam and I fucked this weekend,” he announced belligerently before taking a long pull from the beer.
Louis stood with his eyebrows sky high, mouth open in abject shock.
Liam had closed the door and was now pacing back and forth in their livingroom. Louis looked to him and Liam nodded his confirmation before bursting out, “and Niall is pregnant.”
Niall and Louis responded at the same time, “What?”
“Jesus Christ, Li, I’m not fucking pregnant.” Niall’s eyes widened with incredulity.
Louis sat down heavily in one of their chairs at the table, a paper plate pilled with pizza in front of him. He grabbed a slice and continued with mouth full. “Bloody fuck, this is wild. I feel like I’m missing a few important details here.”
“Let’s see here.” Liam held out a hand and ticked off his fingers one by one. “Niall has been lying to us since he presented. He’s actually an omega. He forgot his suppressants, went into heat and I had to help him through it only I knotted him on accident.” Liam’s voice became strangled on the last bit. “And now Niall is pregnant.”
Louis stared at Liam skeptically and responded with “Knotted on accident?” at the same time as Niall’s “I am not.”
“You don’t know that.” Liam eyed Niall solemnly.
“Oh my god.” Niall set his beer down and rubbed his hands up and down his face in frustration. “Is that what you’re freaking out about? Is that why you won’t talk to me? Because you’ve got it stuck in that fucking head of yours that I’m pregnant?”
“Your body was filled to the brim with my seed for hours!”
“Christ!” Louis shouted and dropped his slice of pizza on his plate. “Do not say that every again. First of all I’m eatin’ here. And second of all, just never say that. Ever.” Niall watched him shudder.
“Need some creamy ranch sauce?” Niall picked up a little tub sitting in the pizza box on the counter and walked it over to Louis, biting his lips to keep his laughter in.
Louis gave him a venomous glance. “You think you’re so bloody funny.” He slapped it out of Niall’s hand, making it spill onto the side of his plate.
Louis cleared his throat loudly, “to be fair, omega’s are very fertile. Like really, very, very fertile. The chance is more likely that you are than that you aren’t. Pregnant that is.”
Niall sighed, pinning Louis with his gaze. “You really aren’t helping.”
"Oh?" Louis crossed his arms and looked at him pointedly. "And you were being helpful offering me ranch after Liam had just bloody mentioned his semen?"
“He’s right though. It is more likely that you are.” Liam’s glance met his and all Niall could see was blind panic.
Weariness hit Niall like a ton of bricks. Some small part of him had thought he would be better off after their camping trip, that when he confessed to Liam about being an omega, he’d finally be accepted and learn to be who he was. That they all might be mad at him for lying to them but ultimately he’d be forgiven and they’d move on and he could live a little easier without the lie always there.
He’d had no idea the clusterfuck this would turn into and he just couldn’t deal with it anymore today.
“Whatever. I can’t stop you from freaking out, Liam.” He clenched his jaws tightly as it felt like a fist squeezed his heart and lungs in his chest. The pressure was intense. The anxiety ratcheting up inside of him was spiraling out of control. “But I’m going to go lie down and you can sort it out for yourself.”
He closed the door behind him in his room, swiftly locking it and laid down on his bed. Deep breaths shuddered in and out of his body and he worked to control them as best as possible, clenching and unclenching his fists in his bedding. It took him awhile but he was finally able to calm down, the effort making him even more tired.
He turned over onto his stomach and drifted off while envisioning an alternate trip. One where he hadn’t forgotten his suppressants, he’d decided not to tell Liam the truth, they’d had tons of time for fishing, they had laughed drunkenly over s’mores and lit those fireworks on the final night.
The two best mates in the world.
The deep ache in his heart did not stop him from falling soundly asleep.
***
Over the next week, it was incredibly obvious that Liam was avoiding Niall. Having lived with one another for three years they had one another’s schedules down pat. So every morning Niall got up for work to find that Liam had already cleared out of the flat. The only traces that he was even there were the tidy pile of dishes on the drying rack, his damp towel hanging neatly in the bathroom and faint traces of cologne in the air. The flat just seemed…lifeless. He’d quickly gotten used to waking up and going about his morning routine with a hollow feeling in his gut.
What bugged Niall even more though was coming home to an empty flat every night.
On a normal night, they’d start the evening out bickering about what to eat for dinner or whose turn it was to cook (Niall was exemplary at weaseling out of it but Liam never seemed to mind, always agreeing with a heavy sigh as if he was so put upon even though it was a total crock of shit).
But now Friday had rolled around and Niall sat glumly staring at the blank telly in front of him, the silence of the flat pressing down on him.
The worst part was that for all the times he’d sat on the couch playing FIFA and imagined Liam walking over to him, bending down to kiss him before asking what he wanted for dinner, god, as many times as he’d fantasized about that, now he would kill just to have his mate back. He’d even take one of the horrible nights when Liam had invited Sophia over for dinner and Niall’d had to suffer through pretending he was just sickened by their affection and not frothing with jealousy.
Because at least then Liam had still looked at him and smiled at him and joked with him.
His mobile buzzed and a quick look at the screen told him it was his ma. Guilt settled in his stomach because it had been way too long since he’d called her. Jiggling his leg, he pressed the accept button and held it to his ear.
“Hey ma.”
“Well, if it isn’t my long lost son, answering my call.”
Niall rolled his eyes and huffed a laugh. “I’m good, thanks for askin’.”
“Don’t be smart with me, now,” she replied warmly. A moment of silence passed. “You don’t sound very good, darling. What’s happened?”
Niall could hear the frown in her voice and it made his chest tight. So much had happened since they last talked. There was no way he would be able to tell her everything, but he knew she wouldn’t be satisfied until she’d squirreled something out of him.
“You wouldn’t believe it but the secret’s out.” He forced a smile, hoping that it would be heard through the shakiness of his voice. “The boys finally know.”
He pressed his hand on his leg, trying to stop the incessant jiggling but it did nothing. He needed an outlet for all the nerves bundled up inside him and he’d already chewed his nails down dangerously low.
“What?” Surprise colored her voice over the line. “That’s wonderful, love.”
“Yeah, it is.” Niall smiled but felt that it was more a grimace than anything. God, he wouldn’t even have convinced himself, sounding like that.
The line was quiet for a few moments before she spoke up tentatively, “Did they not take it well?”
“Yes, and no.” He swallowed thickly, feeling weighted down by everything he was leaving unsaid. He just didn’t have the energy to go into it.
“Don’t tell me I need to have a visit and grab Louis by his ear.”
“Ma,” Niall laughed, this time genuine, “you’re so ridiculous. No, Louis isn’t the issue.”
“Liam then?” she made a tsking noise, “I find it hard to believe that he would be anything more than the polite lad he’s always been.”
“It’s complicated.” Niall inhaled deeply, feeling the burning stretch of too much air filling his lungs, before he released it. “Listen, ma. I just wanted to let you know, but there’s just a lot we’re sorting out right now so I’ll keep ya’ in the loop, yeah?”
He heard her huff a bit and then agree.
“I’ve gotta go and make dinner, give da my love, alright?”
“I will, love. Take care and don’t forget to ring me!”
“I won’t!” He laughed and pressed end on the screen.
He stared, unfocused into the middle of the room for a few minutes, mentally trying to decide if she’d be okay with him moving back home for a bit. Now more than ever he felt like he really should move out. Unlike when Liam had asked to move in and he hadn’t had an excuse to say no, now he sure as hell had an excuse for moving out. He’d get no resistance from Liam now. The thought made his chest ache so he stuffed it down.
He was determined not to sulk around the flat again tonight. It was Friday night for fuck’s sakes. He wasn’t going to let whatever shit was going on between him and Liam stop him from having a good time. He texted Harry on his way to the fridge for a beer. Harry always knew at least three different clubs they could go to in order to blow off some steam, plus the arsehole owed him two drinks from the last game of footie amongst their mates. He could be ready in fifteen minutes. He’d grab a drink, change his clothes and not think about what Liam was up to.
The only problem with his plan was that when he opened the fridge there were no traces of beer. He frowned and opened the two drawers for veggies which almost never contained actual veggies, but still could find nothing.
A quick search of the upper cupboards and Niall quickly realized there wasn’t a drop of alcohol in the house. Had Liam gone to a party and taken them with him? Niall was absolutely baffled at the idea but what other explanation could there be?
Just then the doorknob rattled and Niall turned around just in time to see Liam come through the door. He looked rumpled like he’d had a long day at work. There were creases in his dress trousers and the sleeves of his light blue button up were folded up to his elbows, revealing very enticing forearms.
Forearms that he remembered leaning on either side of his head while Liam had thrust inside of him. Niall tried to block his thoughts from moving further in that direction.
“Hey, just realized the weirdest thing.” He nodded his head toward the fridge. “We’re all out of beer. In fact, we’re all out booze too.”
Liam looked at him steadily. “I know.”
Niall rolled his eyes at his unforthcoming answer. “Okay, but why?”
“Is this even in question?” Liam hung his coat on their flimsy excuse of a coat rack and started heading into his room.
Niall trailed after him and tried not to get distracted by the way Liam’s shirt clung tightly to his shoulders. What the hell was going on? He just wanted a fucking beer, he wasn’t in the mood to try to work out some sort of mystery. His mobile buzzed and he unlocked it to see Harry’s response.
“Listen, I’ve had a long day and I just want to have a drink, so whatever joke you’re playing or if this is some weird thing you’re doing to get back at me for lying to you. I honestly don’t give a fuck, just tell me where all the booze is now.” Niall looked up from the text.
“It’s gone.” Liam responded over his shoulder as he grabbed a t-shirt off of his bed. He turned around and started unbuttoning his shirt. Niall would have averted his gaze but the answer alarmed him enough to hold his attention.
“Yeah, I can see that it’s all fucking gone.” Niall laughed incredulously. “Where did it go?”
“I gave it to Louis.”
“You gave it to Louis.” Niall repeated slowly, trying to figure out what game Liam was playing.
He tugged the shirt over his head and replied calmly. “I figured, considering the condition you’re in, that we didn’t need alcohol in the flat since you can’t drink it.”
“Christ, Liam, the condition I’m in?” Niall threw his hands up in frustration. “Well maybe you should consider this- I’m not pregnant!”
Liam’s face tightened with disapproval. “You shouldn’t be drinking until you know for sure and the odds-”
Niall felt near hysterical over Liam’s inability to listen to him.
Niall had looked some things up online and it said most could sense when they were pregnant and he didn’t feel any different.
He laughed suddenly because this was so over the top he felt like he was in one of those shows where a camera follows you and you get pranked by one of your mates. He didn’t even bother to answer Liam, he just left the bedroom and went to change his clothes. He managed to find a clean pair of black skinny jeans and a thin white t-shirt that he knew looked good on him. Five minutes in the toilet and he was done messing with his hair. Harry had texted him the name of a club that was a ten minute walk from their flat, so he just planned on getting there by foot.
“Where are you going?”
Niall met Liam’s eyes in the mirror. “Out.”
“Like that?” Liam’s eyes trailed over him with a frown on his face.
Niall blinked, staring at him in the mirror, feeling more and more like he was in some sort of bizarro world. “Yeah, exactly how I look every time I go out.”
“What?”
Liam leaned forward and sniffed at Niall’s shoulder. “You smell like…omega. Why aren’t you taking your suppressants?”
Niall’s heartbeat thumped heavily in his chest. It was the closest Liam had been to him since the camping trip. He swallowed convulsively. “I haven’t changed my prescription yet. I’ll be switching to the ones that just suppress the heat not the scent. Now that it’s out-” his eyes were glued to Liam’s, “I’m going to be who I am.”
“But you don’t know what it’s like for omegas. When they catch your scent, alphas will treat you like a piece of meat.”
Niall felt anger slice through him. There was absolutely no reason that Liam should even have an opinion on it. Niall had never once told him what he could and couldn’t do when he went out. “Yeah well,” he avoided Liam’s eyes and ran his fingers absently through his hair, “maybe that’s what I need.” Then he pushed his way past him, not even wanting to see whatever annoying expression he had now.
It bothered him that Liam didn’t seem to be all that concerned with the breakdown in their friendship, the only reason he’d even bothered to break his week long silence had to do with his ridiculous notion of Niall being pregnant, because it was the very thing that Liam had carefully avoided for years and now Niall was a living, breathing example that he might have done something irresponsible. Well fuck him.
Out of the corner of his eye he noticed that Liam followed him to the front door of the flat while he was pulling on his coat. He refused to look at him as he opened the door, “Don’t wait up. I’ll be sure to shake my arse at every alpha I see. Cheers.”
***
After the sixth drink the bartender had slid his way thanks to another random alpha smiling at him from across the bar, Niall started to wonder why he’d ever made the decision to hide being an omega. Being an omega was great. He hadn’t paid for anything yet and he hadn’t ever gotten this much attention at clubs before. Niall envisioned the severely disapproving look Liam would have on display right now if he was with them and his smile widened further. There was something so satisfying about knowing Liam would frown upon all of this.
He winked at his newest drink benefactor, nodding to acknowledge the gift.
“Christ, Niall. Don’t wink at them.” Louis announced sourly. “You know that bloody expression ‘beat them off with a stick’? I’m awfully tired of wielding the stick.” He pinched Harry’s nipple. “You’re on duty for the next hour.”
“But you are much scarier than I am.” Harry pointed out.
“I don’t care, really. It’s your turn, got it? I’m going for a wee.”
Harry shrugged and Niall smiled pleasantly, feeling warmed by how protective they were being. His mind had been on a constant loop of why did I wait so long to tell them? They honestly were the best mates in the world. He didn’t deserve them for all of his lying, but they were a shining example of mates.
Harry gathered him in for a cuddle unexpectedly. “Awww, you’re one of my best mates too.”
Niall wondered in confusion if he’d said some of that out loud, but it didn’t matter because Harry was warm and comforting and his hair smelled good and he wanted to stay there the rest of the night. Sometimes he just wanted to be cuddled by someone. Someone who wanted to cuddle him.
He pulled his head back, “Why did ya’ have to move out so many years ago?” His accent was heavier in his ears like it always got when he was pissed. “You left me.” He accused.
Harry pressed Niall’s head back into his neck and rubbed his back reassuringly. He whispered into his ear. “I think your real problem is why you let him live with you.” He paused for a quiet moment. “Why did you say yes?”
Niall shook his head against Harry’s shoulder miserably. He didn’t know why he’d said yes. It had been such a dumb thing. Maybe if he’d just refused him things would be different now. Maybe he could have avoided this horrible pain in his chest.
“Hey blondie, I’ve got another drink for ‘ye. From that feller over there with the dark hair.” Niall relinquished his clinging embrace on Harry’s body and glanced up just as the bartender moved away. He reached for it, but Louis swept in and grabbed it before he could and slapped his hand away.
“Oi! You’ve had enough. Share the wealth!” Louis smiled in a smartass way to a bloke standing further down the bar. He was extremely fit and wore a leather jacket better than anyone Niall had ever seen.
“Fuck.” Louis exclaimed. “You aren’t satisfied with attracting all the alphas in the place, you’ve got to take the fittest looking beta too?”
Harry’s eyebrows drew down and he pouted. “Hey, that’s not very nice.”
Louis rolled his eyes and turned back to Niall. “That’s it, I am never letting you win at FIFA out of pity ever again.”
Niall laughed at the absurdity of his claim. “That’s an awful lie and you know it. You’ve never had a snowball’s chance in hell of beating me.”
“But look! He made you smile!” Harry had an unbearably soft grin and Niall smushed his hand in his face, making him laugh and stumble backward.
“Ughhhh, stop this.” Louis scrunched his face up. “You are the sappiest drunk to ever exist, Styles.”
“Look! Another!” Niall announced loudly in delight as he grabbed a drink from the bartender.
“Actually, I think I might win the award for sappiest drunk.”
Niall stiffened at the same time that both Louis and Harry shouted “Liam!”
He turned around and took a long drink so that he would have an excuse for not saying anything. Liam gave a quick hug to them, asking them how they were and then pulled off his coat to throw it on the pile they had made on one of the barstools they were occupying. He looked good. He was wearing the cream colored Henley that was one of Niall’s favorites, the sleeves pushed up past his elbows, and the soft, worn-in light blue denim that clung to his hips and accentuated his arse.
He invaded Niall’s space for a hug and Niall fumbled with it. It was the first time Liam had touched him since….well…since it happened and the feeling of his arms around him was almost too much to handle. But apparently Liam wanted to pretend like everything was cool to everyone else. Niall’s own brain was scrambled on how he even wanted to react so he just went with it, senses going a bit haywire when he smelled the thick alpha scent Liam was giving off. He wanted to bury his face in Liam’s neck and never leave.
When he stepped back he glanced everywhere but at Liam’s face, “I’m gonna run to the loo.”
He walked swiftly away, reciting things in his head. Dead puppies. His nan in her pants. Liam flirting with Danielle. That time Harry showed them all the contouring he’d done around his dick. He tried to think of anything that would stop his body from reacting to Liam’s. The last thing he wanted was for Liam to know how turned on Niall got every time he so much as hugged him. He’d never want to touch him again if he suspected.
By the time he got back to the three of them, he’d calmed down and from then on he had absolutely no problems feeling attracted to Liam.
Because he was absolutely infuriatingly annoyed with him.
He’d begun refusing the drinks that were sent Niall’s way. Each time he did it he had the most exasperated look on his face that it made Niall want to punch him. His presence was literally oppressive, sucking all of the fun out of the night and even Louis had called him a few choice names.
Several of the blokes that had sent him drinks earlier had come over to try to chat him up, to which Niall was not opposed at all, but Liam had talked down to all of them in the most condescending way that they’d each left after an awkward minute or so. The worst part of it was the heavy sighing that expelled from Liam’s mouth each time as if he was so burdened by a task that no one asked him to do.
"Why are you doing that?" Niall finally snapped.
"What?"
"Why bother even doing it if it's so fucking tiresome to you. No one’s asking you to guard me. I got along just fine before. Just because some other alpha comes over to chat me up, doesn't mean you need to take over."
Liam had the gall to look like Niall was the crazy one. "Yeah well you're still my mate and you don't know what the intentions of these alphas are. I do. Trust me, it's no good."
"I'm not some delicate flower, Liam." Niall reacted, irritated as all hell. "I can take care of myself."
"Oh you can?" Liam raised his brows airily. "And what about the fact that you've been denying your omega nature for ten years. You must be such the expert then."
Jesus, Liam could be an insufferable twat when he wanted to.
“Fuck me in the ass.” Louis exclaimed loudly, rolling his eyes. “Styles, come with me. God, no. That wasn’t an invitation, I just want to get away from these tossers for a while, so let’s you and I go to the dance floor.”
Niall stared after them as they made their way to the mass of moving bodies, wishing that he could get the hell away from Liam too, but the drinks were catching up with him and Liam’s behavior had sucked away all of the energy out of the night. “I’m just going to head home.” He admitted tiredly, searching for his coat amongst everyone else’s on the stool.
“I’ll walk you.”
Niall pinned him with a death glare, his eyes an icy blue. “No really, I’m fine. I don’t need you to hold my fucking hand.”
Liam’s jaw hardened and he folded his arms, his whole stance becoming stubborn. “Well, too bad because I’m going with you.”
Niall blinked at him for a few moments as anger pumped quickly through his veins and he knew that he couldn’t do a damn thing about what Liam chose to do. “Well, fine then. But we have a bar tab and you know how irresponsible Harry and Louis are about paying it, what’re the chances that either of their cards will cover it?”
With that he stalked off, knowing that he’d gotten himself a reprieve because Liam’s sense of responsibility would not allow him to leave the tab unpaid.
As he left the bar behind and began the walk back home he meanly hoped that Liam got stuck there for an eternity. More than likely though Liam would be stuck there for the duration of his walk at least. He smirked at the cement beneath his shoes, imagining how impatient Liam probably felt right now trying to flag down the barman.
“Oi!”
Niall turned his head to see a blonde haired bloke jogging to catch up to him. He looked vaguely familiar.
“Um, cheers.” Niall laughed uncertainly.
“I’m one of the many suitors that bought you a drink tonight. I’ve had quite the competition.” The bloke laughed and when he smiled it clicked. Fourth drink. He’d ordered Niall a beer he’d not had before. It was quite good, one of his favorites of the night.
“I’m Niall. Thanks for the drink, um…”
“Frank. Do you mind if I walk with you for a bit? Seeing as I didn’t get the time of day in there.” He grinned in a self-deprecating way.
“Yeah, sure.” Niall’s mouth curved and he shrugged an apology. He quickly appraised Frank and discovered that he was tall but lean, longer blonde hair that was pulled half up in a bun, his shoulders weren’t broad like Liam’s were but- he bit his tongue gently and tried to force that thought out. It was what he inevitably did with everyone that had even so much as flirted with him. He compared them to Liam. And he really needed to stop doing that. Liam was not supposed to be the standard that he held every person to. Liam was his mate and mate only. The thought depressed him and he grinned even bigger at whatever Frank had just said that he had not paid attention to.
It seemed to be the right response because Frank’s smile grew and his arm brushed Niall’s as they walked.
“Have you always had that many admirers? I mean of course you have, you’re incredibly fit. And I bet the irish accent drives everyone wild.”
Niall felt heat scoring his cheeks and he stared down at the ground in front of them, “actually no, I haven’t. It was a bit of a new thing for me.”
“God, look at you.” Frank nudged him playfully. “You are irresistible when you’re all shy like that.” He dropped an arm around Niall’s shoulder. “You make me want to keep you under my arm and protect you.”
Niall laughed, but glanced up in puzzlement. “I’m really not shy. If you really knew me, I’m like the absolute opposite of shy.”
“Oh, are you now?” Frank leered, and for the first time Niall felt a spark of irritation, but he couldn’t exactly fault him for saying that. Niall was an idiot for saying what he had, he’d practically invited the innuendo. He rolled his eyes and laughed politely at the joke while stepping slightly to the right to slide out from under Frank’s arm.
It didn’t quite work though and Niall felt the arm around his shoulder weigh down a bit heavier. It wasn’t forceful per se, but he’d definitely stopped him from getting out of his grasp. Niall’s pulse ticked up the slightest bit. He was only about halfway home and now he worried- part of him wanted to get back to the flat because then he’d have a reason to excuse himself and another part wasn’t sure he wanted to stop and admit where he lived in front of him.
“Did you like the beer I bought you?”
Niall was relieved it was a safe topic of conversation. “Yeah, it was a delicious pint.”
“Good, I’m glad you liked it because I want to make you happy and I want you to make me happy too, yeah?”
Frank smiled at him softly and slowed them to a stop against a brick wall. Niall had never in his life felt scared of someone. He’d honestly never had to worry that he would ever be at someone else’s mercy but there was something about this, about the menacing way that Frank was asserting himself- his alpha presence- that made him want to cower away. Anger coursed through him, but fear overpowered it.
“Do you want to do something nice for me in return?” Frank whispered against his neck, sniffing lightly at his skin.
Niall pressed his eyes closed as his heartbeat thudded frantically in his chest. He felt hemmed in by his arms, Frank was lean, yeah, but he still had muscle, more than Niall had. He felt the soft graze of teeth against his neck and bristled at the wrongness of it. That was usually something that was offered from an omega, Niall knew that much of it. It was a sign of willing submission to an alpha and he sure as hell wasn’t offering this bloke his neck. It sickened him that Frank’s scent was getting on him.
Instinctively he pushed at his chest to get him to back off but it only made him press in further. Niall’s anxiety ratcheted up. How the hell was he going to get himself out of this situation?
“A sweet little omega like you and that lovely bum just for me.” Frank laughed. “I can’t wait to slide right into you nice and easy. You’re going to give me that right, Niall?”
“Unfortunate for you, no.”
Niall’s eyes flew open when he heard Liam’s voice and then Frank was being yanked off of him. Liam hauled his fist up and punched him square in the face, landing him sprawled on his back on the cement.
He’d never witnessed Liam punch anyone. In fact he’d never seen Liam purposely harm a single hair on anyone’s head but he looked like he was actually vibrating with fury, his face a mask of violent intent. He grabbed Frank off the ground again and slammed him against the brick wall a few feet from where Niall stood, his head making a sick thudding noise as the back of it hit the brick. “If I ever see you near Niall again, you will regret it.”
And then Niall watched as Liam pulled the bloke’s wallet out and sifted through it until he had his ID. “I’m taking this, cheers. Guess you’ll need to get another. I won’t hesitate to bring this to the police.”
With that he let him go and then walked determinedly up to Niall, his brown eyes searching him in concern, his hair askew. “How are you? Did he do anything?”
Niall shook his head and then finally found his voice. “No, thanks to you. Jesus, Li, never knew you had an arm on you like that.” He laughed hollowly.
He was still shaken but he didn’t want Liam to know. His attempt at humor was all for nothing anyway because Liam dragged him in for a tight hug and Niall found himself hugging him back equally hard. “He got his scent on you.” Liam pulled back frowning.
“I know, makes me want to gag.” He tried to breathe through the sensation.
Liam nodded tightly, jaw clenched. “Alright, let’s get you back to the flat quickly then, so you can wash it off. Makes me sick too.”
***
The next morning Niall woke up to the delicious smell of bacon and his stomach rumbled. The last thing he wanted to do was dwell over the night before so he hauled himself out of bed and made his way to the kitchen. He snatched his glasses up off the coffee table and slid them on as he walked in.
“Brekkie? For me?” He blinked hopefully as scrubbed his hands through his bedhead.
Liam glanced up at him in surprise and smiled. “Morning, sunshine!”
Niall’s heart squeezed at the way Liam’s eyes crinkled up in happiness, he couldn’t remember the last time Liam had smiled at him that freely. Without a doubt he knew that Liam was doing it to make up for Niall’s horrible experience last night, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care. More than that, he honestly couldn’t regret what happened and would probably have gone through it all over again if he knew that it would’ve jarred Liam enough to give him his mate back.
“How long since I’ve done a proper fry up, yeah? I thought we were both due one.”
Niall crept closer to the hob to stare, impressed at the food he’d prepared. “Cheers. It looks fantastic.”
He thought about sneaking his hand in to get at one of the slices of bacon.
Liam glanced at him in warning as if he’d read his mind. “Don’t even think about it.”
Niall laughed and stuck his tongue out, not quite sure how Liam would react. When Liam immediately stuck his out as well, making a funny face to boot, he felt like a giant weight had lifted off his shoulders. The way things had changed after they’d gone through his heat, he’d started to believe their friendship would never go back to normal. But right now, as long as he ignored the fact that it was born out of pity, he could be happy with this. He pulled himself up until he was sitting on the counter next to the hob and smiled softly at Liam. Let’s never lose this again.
“What are you thinking about?”
Niall flicked him in the middle of the forehead and laughed in delight, his own eyes shaped like crescents when Liam gave him a thunderous look. “I’m thinking you’re about to turn the eggs completely brown.”
Liam tutted. “Yeah and I’ll turn your bum red with the palm of my hand if you don’t stop annoying me.”
Niall squirmed off the counter and away, more because he didn’t want Liam to see the color in his cheeks than that he felt seriously threatened.
Because that honestly didn’t seem like a punishment at all.
***
After they’d finished eating and doing the washing up they decided to meet Louis at Tesco to do a bit of shopping. On the drive over they messed about, battling over the radio and arguing about what the best Eagles song was. It was one of the most normal things that had happened since the trip and Niall was once again flummoxed, wondering if just maybe they could pretend that nothing had ever happened.
They parked and he spotted Louis as soon as he stepped out of the car. “Oi, Tommo, over here.”
Niall had certainly not had the best night but at least he hadn’t woken up with too bad of a headache, Louis looked about ten times worse. He and Liam exchanged glances, “What the hell did you get up to last night?”
Louis held up a finger. “Never trust a leather jacket. He was the skinniest bloke in the entire world. I have no idea where all his drinks were going.” Louis complained, pulling the door to Tesco’s open and walking through. “Are we getting food for the match this afternoon? We’re watching it, right?”
Niall laughed in disbelief. “You can’t actually be asking me that.”
"Our child will be good at football, yeah?" Liam said in an amused tone. “With my build and Niall’s skills with the football?”
"Jesus Christ." Niall shook his head and huffed, hurrying past the door being held open for him. Louis' cackle coming from in the store was one hundred times more annoying. He half turned to Liam who followed him in. "You don't have to hold doors for me for fucks sake. You reckon you’re a laugh, huh?"
Liam shrugged, still laughing at his own comment and snagged a trolley from the line of them.
So much for pretending that nothing had ever happened. The instant reminder of all this drama going on unsettled him. At the same time he had to admit it was a step in the right direction at least. It was much better that Liam was making jokes about it rather than freaking out like he had been. He must finally be getting over his panic and he appreciated the fact that Liam could poke fun at himself.
They puttered about the isles, while Liam fought Niall and Louis over adding useless items to the trolley. It was funny how seamlessly he and Louis had slid into their old dynamic. Without even realizing it they had teamed up on Liam like they had so many times as kids and Liam didn’t even know what hit him. One of them would distract him and the other would stuff something they wanted under the sensible things Liam had put in. It was kinda scary how good they were at it.
Niall watched Liam for a few moments, slow smile curving his mouth. He was just so goddamned adorable, reading the back of the box of quinoa with that serious set to his face. Niall scratched his hand over his shirt to ward off the tight feeling burning in his chest. He nudged Liam with his shoulder. “Watcha lookin’ at?”
"I’m trying to figure out how you cook this.” He glanced up from it, puzzlement in his eyes. “It’s good for you I think.” He laughed, biting his lip and looking back down.
Niall watched him for a few more seconds, unable to pull his attention away. He clenched his fists against the urge to pull Liam into a hug, to curve his body into his and say mine. He wanted Liam to be his so badly. His stomach hurt at the realization that he genuinely needed to get away from him. He needed to move out, across the city, across the country, somewhere in the universe that he wouldn’t have to be surrounded by moments like this. Somewhere that would help him fall out of love with his mate.
Louis made a noise and he glanced over to see his thoughtful look, eyebrow slightly arched. Niall coughed and stepped back from Liam, wanting desperately to know how incriminating his face had just looked.
Niall scratched the back of his neck uncomfortably. “M’gonna go get some beer.”
Liam’s head snapped up, “No you aren’t. It wasn’t even a good idea that you drank last night.”
“Not this again.” Louis rolled his eyes and started walking away. “I’m out. See you lads in the freezer section.”
Niall was caught between laughter and anger, his mind not made up on which way he wanted to go. “You must be having a laugh again. You were just fuckin’ joking about it twenty minutes ago.” He pointed toward the front of the store.
Liam looked confused. “What does that have to do with anything? Sorry if you don’t understand the humor I use to help me grasp with the fact that I’m- no, we are having a child, Niall.”
“You are one of the most stubborn idiots I’ve ever met in my life. Just when I think you might actually be listening to me.” He threw his hands up in frustration and shook his head, stalking over to the alcohol section.
“It’s science, Niall.” Liam called out after him. “I don’t get what you don’t get about it. The fact is that you are way more likely to be than not. We may not want it to be true, but it is.”
***
They got back to the flat in a much less carefree mood than when they’d left.
"Liam! Back off, would ya'? This is fucking ridiculous." Niall batted Liam's hand from the small of his back and struggled to grab the gallon of milk back from him. As if he couldn’t handle carrying a gallon of milk for christ’s sake. "First thing- I'm not pregnant."
"You don't know-" Liam interrupted.
"Shut up. I do know. From what I've read, you know within the first two days. And I'm not fucking pregnant" Niall spat back in irritation and Liam scowled. “How long has it been now? A week and a half since-” he waved a hand between them to reference it, he just couldn’t bring himself to voice it, worried that it might set Liam back to avoiding him. “I have to wait another week and a half and then I’ll go to bloody doctor and get tested. Three weeks is the time that can always tell for sure and then you can shut the hell up about it.”
They both stared, each annoyed for their own reasons.
"Second thing- if by some miracle I was-" he noticed Liam open his mouth and shoved the gallon of milk back at him to head him off. "If I was- I wouldn't need to be this careful until like six or seven months. So quit acting like a goddamn loon."
Liam slammed the milk on the counter and Niall figured the discussion was done. But in the flick of an eye, Liam had turned on him and backed him up against the kitchen wall, a frustrated noise rumbling in his chest. It took Niall by surprise. Liam was always the first to give in during an argument.
"You can say whatever you want, Niall. Say I'm being a dumb alpha or blame my biology." Liam's eyes were narrowed, voice soft and implacable. "But if there is some chance my babe is in your belly," he grazed his hand across his stomach and Niall suppressed a shiver. "If our babe is in there, I may not be your alpha but I'm going to do everything in the goddamn world to protect both of you. And if that means smothering you with overly careful attention then you're just going to have to deal with it."
Liam’s alpha presence had swollen into this heavy blanket pressing in on both of them. Niall tilted his head to the side in supplication, offering the pale column of his throat. He couldn't help it, couldn't prevent how warm Liam’s words made him feel. The desire to submit to his strong presence right now was overwhelming. Liam leaned in and pressed his nose into Niall's neck, breathing deeply before nuzzling him ever so slightly. A whimper escaped him and Liam yanked himself back, moving skittishly away.
"I'm sorry- I shouldn't have done that." He said, staring at the floor. He pointed a thumb behind him toward the door. "I'm gonna head out. I have a thing- with Paul. Cheers."
And before Niall could even respond he had grabbed his coat and was out the door. Niall sagged against the wall in dismay. No doubt things had just gone back to square one.
***
Things weren’t perfect.
They seemed to be walking on eggshells around one another but Niall would take that any day over Liam avoiding him again. They talked while at the flat but there was a depressing politeness to it. As if they were more like acquaintances than mates that had known each other since they were eight years old. And Niall couldn’t say for sure but he was almost certain Liam always stayed several feet away from him now.
Niall was considering more and more about taking his suppressants once again. What had being off of them done for him anyway? Not taking them had destroyed things between him and Liam. It was clear that the main issue dissolving their friendship was Liam’s alpha nature reacting to Niall’s omega one.
If he took his suppressants again, there would be no more weird interactions, they could go back to their friendship and Niall would choose that every time over the shadow of it that they had now. He was going to let Liam know about his plan though because at least it would put him at ease and then maybe they could try finally moving forward.
So it was relieving when he was doing the washing up and he heard Liam come home. Yes, they’d been doing good, but he still worried that any day Liam might go MIA again for a week.
“Hey.” Niall greeted him, dropping the flannel in the dishwater before leaning back against the sink.
“Hey” Liam replied tiredly.
“Can we chat for a bit?” Niall asked evenly. He knew he was jumping on him pretty fast after work, but he’d gotten himself too wound up now that he’d made his decision and the faster he got it out the better.
Liam glanced at him with worry. “Is it about the baby?”
Niall pressed his lips together and tried desperately to tamp down on any of the comments he wanted to snap back with right away. Liam was convinced he was pregnant and there was nothing else he was going to be able to do about that until he could go to the doctor. Niall thanked god that it was in a couple days because he couldn’t take Liam’s comments anymore. He breathed out as calmly as possible. He wasn’t even going to bother with a denial because Liam wouldn’t listen to him anyway.
“No, it’s something else.”
Liam sagged and set his things down on the table. “This can’t wait until I’ve changed?”
Niall twisted his hands anxiously in front of him. “Look, it’s not a big deal, I’ll just have out with it.” He crossed his arms in order to stop his hands. “I’m going on my suppressants again. Wanted you to know because, well, hopefully things can go back to normal then.” Niall visibly swallowed as he watched Liam’s reaction.
“Wait what?” Liam’s eyebrows rose up in surprise. “You mean the same kind? I thought you were going to get a new prescription?”
Niall shrugged, “Nah I’m going to stick with this one. It helps suppress the omega scent. I think that would make everyone’s lives easier. Sometimes I dunno why I ever planned on telling the truth really.” He laughed quietly and picked the flannel up again, wringing it out and wiping down the counter absently so he had something to do.
Niall knew what question was coming next and he kept his attention on the counter as he answered. “And no, if I am pregnant, which you are bloody convinced I am, it won’t affect anything. You just won’t be able to smell me and I won’t be able to smell you and it will….help things.”
He finally glanced up in the ensuing silence and was met with Liam frowning. “I still don’t like it.” Liam opened his mouth to say more and then gritted his teeth before trying again, “if you are pregnant, I can’t imagine that it would be alright for you to suppress aspects of your biology. Could you just wait, Niall? I know you think it’s a load of bollocks, but please just wait until you find out from the doctor before you go back on it.”
Liam looked confused for a moment, “If you’re doing this to try to get us back to normal, I can make an effort without you using the pills. If you agree not to take them, that is. I mean, neither of us wanted this, but until I know for fact that there is no pregnancy, I meant what I said that I’m going to do anything I need to in order to protect both of you.”
Niall stared at Liam in silence, chest tightening with so much emotion that he dared not let show on his face. Neither of us wanted this. What part? The destruction of their friendship. No, definitely not. A possible pregnancy. No. But Niall had always wanted this in a sense. This being something more between them than just mates. The only problem is that he’d wanted it to be mutual. And it’s not like he hadn’t always known it wasn’t mutual, but Liam’s words, admitting he’d never wanted this. It stung like hell. It always would.
He would really need to consider the moving out option, he realized. He’d toyed with the idea after the call with his ma, but now he wasn’t sure he could keep doing this. It was too goddamn painful and Liam was never going to feel the fucking same. So, sure. He’d hold off for Liam’s sake. No, it was for the sake of Liam’s responsibility. Because that was what had always driven Liam in this. His sense of responsibility and duty.
“Yeah, alright.” Niall replied. “I’ll wait.”
“Good. Now see, we’ll get this back to normal, I’m gonna come in for a hug.” Liam stepped forward and drew Niall into his body.
He inwardly winced at the fact that Liam had to forewarn him that he was going to hug him. You knew things were fucked up when that was happening between longtime mates. But if it was a true step in the right direction then...Niall responded to it, wrapping his arms around him in a firm but quick hug and mustering a smile when they stepped back.
“Would I be pushing things too far if I asked you to take prenatal vitamins just until you’re sure?”
“Christ, Liam.” Niall laughed shakily, but genuinely. He was honestly one of the most ridiculous people he’d ever known. “Too fucking far, yes.”
***
True to his word, Liam had tried to make a difference in their interactions. No longer was there a polite air to their conversations, things flowed with a familiarity that Niall thought they’d never achieve again. The only downside was the nth level to which his brain constantly assessed Liam’s responses. Wondering how fake he was being at any given moment. It was a complex thing to say that he was both grateful as fuck to have some semblance of their friendship back, but also feel resentful that it wasn’t entirely true.
And over the last several days, along with their conversations, Liam had stopped censoring whether their bodies touched or not. It should have been a huge victory, the fact that Liam could overcome his uncomfortable memories of the two of them, but in the most ironic of twists, Niall found himself shuffling nonchalantly back when they stood next to each other, pulling away from a touch on the shoulder or elbow. It wasn’t just Liam’s scent that drove him crazy, that heavy muskiness that was stronger in the mornings and nights, but after everything that happened he just could not handle being close to him as just mates. He’d lost all patience for it.
He was so bloody comforted that in two days time he’d set up a doctor's appointment because he needed Liam to know once and for all. He needed to be able to take his suppressants again. It was a funny thing to call alpha, beta and omega scents colorful but that is what it mostly felt like. Being around Liam without his suppressants was like living life in blaring color, every vibrant note of it hitting him all the time. He needed the safe scentless black and white world he had known in order to maintain his own sanity.
He bolstered his determination to make it through these last few days. He could do this. He could.
***
"Have you seen my glasses anywhere?” He shuffled through things on the counter, wondering if maybe he’d set the mail or other paperwork on top of them but they were nowhere to be found.
“Blast.”
“Got ‘em!” Liam announced victoriously from down the hall. Niall breathed out in relief, already feeling the pressure of getting to work on time. He’d been slightly more rattled since he’d made his doctor’s appointment. Something that had always represented the end, and the truth had suddenly gotten through to Niall in a way that Liam never had with his silly assertions that he was pregnant. The reality of going there tomorrow loomed like this terrifying thing. What if he’d been totally wrong?
Niall pushed those thoughts aside. He needed to get to work is what he needed to do, but first he needed his glasses. He typed out a reminder in his mobile to call this afternoon to order more contacts. He turned around just in time to see Liam walk up with them and before he could raise his hands to grab them, Liam opened them up and brought them slowly forward.
“I’ve got it.” Liam said. Niall stopped breathing as Liam moved by slow degrees, sliding them against his temples, slipping them comfortably behind his ears to finally settle gently on the bridge of his nose. For a moment or two the tips of his fingers had grazed the skin just before his hairline.
“I’ve always said I like you in these.” Liam remarked, narrowing his gaze as if he was judging the worthiness of them. Niall let out a shaky breath, heart pounding as his brain finally came back online. He managed a convincingly quick smile and laugh. “Thanks.” He rapped his knuckles against Liam’s collarbone and stepped back, swinging the bag on the counter over his shoulder.
“See you tonight?” He asked, tone tentative.
“You will.” Liam responded quiet but definite. Niall was disgruntled to find that he couldn’t read Liam’s expression. He’d always been an open book to him, but right now any read he thought he’d had eluded him.
***
By the time Niall had gotten done with work he was pretty sure he’d hit the full blown panic mode that Liam had experienced that first day back from the trip. There was no possible way he could go back to the flat and face Liam like this. His hands shook as he typed out a text to Harry, asking if he could come over. He breathed deeply as soon as dots immediately popped up indicating Harry responding and when he saw the yes, absolutely he started shoving things from his desk into his bag.
Before he put the car in drive he sent a quick text to Louis, knowing that he’d never be forgiven if he didn’t invite him to Niall’s nervous pregnancy breakdown.
He arrived within ten minutes and gratefully walked into Harry’s open arms as soon as he’d pulled the door open.
“What is wrong, Niall? Jesus, you’re shaking.”
“What if I really am pregnant?” Niall blurted, probably too loudly this close to Harry’s ear but he couldn’t calm himself down. Anxiety held him like a vise and it squeezed until he could barely breathe.
A door slammed behind him.
“Christ, Styles. Do you think you’re gonna cure him with hugs? That’s not what he needs right now.”
He felt the pressure of Louis’ hands on his arms and then he was being pulled out of Harry’s embrace and moved toward the couch. “Now sit the hell down and breathe, Nialler.”
Louis sat on the coffee table in front of him and began instructing him to breathe in and breathe out, showing him by example. Niall watched Louis' chest rise and fall as he followed him, sucking in deep breaths and breathing them out slowly through his nose. After several minutes of it he could feel the tightness in his chest start to lessen.
“Alright Harold, you can come and administer your cuddles now.” He flicked a hand in Harry's direction to summon him. “No, Niall, you need to keep breathing for a few more minutes.”
Harry sat down next to him on the couch and began rubbing his hand soothingly across Niall’s back as he finished out breathing with Louis. The presence of both of them worked to calm him and as he felt the anxiety leach out of his body he felt most of the blind panic he’d felt earlier leave as well. It wasn’t a surprise to him that they’d kind of gone hand in hand.
“Thanks.” He finally managed. “I started freaking out about the doctor’s appointment tomorrow. I don’t know why now. I’ve never believed I was pregnant, still don’t feel it in my gut but there’s always a chance I guess and that finally got to me.”
Louis scooted them both over and sat to the right of him grabbing his hand. Niall leaned his head to his left on Harry’s shoulder while he ran his fingers through Niall’s hair.
“Are you sure this doesn’t have more to do with Liam?” Louis asked softly, casually.
Niall’s eyes flicked over to him in alarm.
Harry put his other arm around Niall and pulled him in a bit more. “What do you mean?” Harry asked Louis defensively.
“Oh, put away your protective claws, you're kitten at most.” Louis waved him off with disgust. “Listen, clearly you’ve known about Niall’s feelings much longer than I have but I’m not a complete idiot and I have noticed, you twats. You aren't always that careful and I catch you looking at him like you did at Tesco.” He paused. “So, I’m thinking that the panic you’ve had today is not about the actual pregnancy itself, but you’re worried that something would tie you irrevocably to Liam." He sighed and continued, "and you don’t want that because you think he doesn’t love you back, blah blah blah.” Louis shrugged in an exhausted manner.
Niall blinked at him in surprise and huffed, “That was quite spot on but you had to be a cunt about it, of course.”
“Agreed.” Harry said reproachfully.
Louis leaned forward and flicked Harry in the ear. “Well, then how about you say something useful, Mr. Feelings.”
“Ouch! How Niall ever became mates with a cruel person like you, I’ll never know.” Harry grumbled somewhat more energetically than usual.
Louis made an immature face. “It’s because he liked torturing unsuspecting idiots like you. We enjoyed convincing you to foolishly eat that worm!”
Niall sat up a bit more to catch the thunderous look on Harry’s face. “I was seven years old. I didn’t know any better. Ugh, you are such a rotten person.”
Louis smiled sweetly back. “Better that than a sucker like you. And from what I hear you really like to suck.”
Harry narrowed his eyes in offense. "Wouldn't you like to find out."
"Sorry, love, but I don't do betas anymore." Louis sniffed imperiously.
"Mmm," Harry hummed. "That's right. And speaking of sucking," he picked a piece of lint off of Niall's shirt before calmly bringing his gaze back to Louis, "unfortunately for you, you'll never know how far I can take a knot."
Louis squirmed at that, looking utterly intrigued and then furious because of it.
“Lads, you do know that you are here for me, yeah?” Niall cut in, glancing between both of them, a little annoyed. “Fuck it, I guess.” Niall laughed. “I should get back to the flat anyway. Liam’s gonna wonder where I went and I don’t want to have explain all of this all over again.”
He stood up and they both followed, Harry looking at him sheepishly. “Sorry. We are scum.” He pulled Niall in for a hug and he went gratefully. “Everything really is going to be alright.” Niall held onto the deep reverberation of Harry’s voice in his chest a little tighter.
“We’ll see.” Niall replied.
He turned and Louis was there, looking at him archly. “He may be scum but I am not.” And he tugged gently on Niall’s hair before stepping back. “I’m going to follow you out.”
“Thanks, to both of you.” Niall smiled crookedly. “That was comforting. And slightly weird.”
***
Liam thankfully accepted his explanation that he’d had to stay at work longer because of his late start to the day.
They had a quiet evening. Watching a movie and both sitting on the couch. Not cuddling as they might have in the past, but it was peaceful enough. For them, for what they were now, he wasn’t sure if he would even say yes if Liam suggested a friendly cuddle.
He’d thought about telling him several times that he had the appointment tomorrow but something stopped him. No matter how sure he was about the outcome of it, he could be wrong. He wanted to give himself time if he needed it to deal with things on his own.
At the end of the night as he laid in his bed, he fell asleep to the comfort of knowing that tomorrow he could start back on his suppressants again.
***
There it was then.
He’d just come from the hospital and it was now official. He wasn’t pregnant. Rather than feel relief or disappointment or any emotion one should respond with after monumental news like that, Niall just felt empty. He couldn’t conjure up any feeling whatsoever as he stood in the hallway staring blankly at the door to the flat.
Your hCG levels have come back negative. I think you can take a sigh of relief Mr. Horan. You aren’t pregnant.
He physically shook himself, trying to get out of the void he’d been sucked into in his own head and slipped the key into the lock. He entered the flat and dropped the keys on the table, eyes fixed at a distant point of nothing. Liam would likely be home any minute from work and then he could let him know the news.
Niall moved to the fridge on autopilot and grabbed a beer, then to his room to change to some joggers before sinking into the couch in the livingroom. His eyes snagged on one of the ragged little holes that was finally making itself visible in the fabric. It was the very same couch that they had both sat on when Liam had convinced him that they should live together. He could remember the conversation crystal clear even though it felt like ages ago.
He didn’t regret it for the most part, becoming flatmates, didn’t regret much of anything except for the soap opera that had become of his life in the last month. If he could just go back in time…and not have forgotten his pills. Niall nodded absently at his own thoughts in the silence of the flat.
Niall listened to the sound of footsteps trudging up the stairs through the thin walls of the flat. The squeal of the hinges as the door opened confirmed it was Liam.
“God, I’ve just had the most exhausting day at work.” Liam announced tiredly.
Niall couldn’t yet see him, just heard the sounds of him moving around, dropping his things off on the table and kicking off his shoes. “Yeah?” he managed, even though once again, whenever it seemed he had something important to tell Liam he felt the words freeze up in his throat.
“You’re going to laugh when you see what I picked up today, though.” Liam said coming around into the room. “I have absolutely no idea why I did it. It was a dumb impulse thing.”
And then Liam, looking entirely abashed, held out a stuffed animal. It was a caterpillar, colorful, like that children’s book.
Niall stared at it, feeling slightly like an anvil had just struck him in the chest. “Liam, I’m not pregnant.”
Liam’s face tightened. “I know, you keep saying that-”
“No,” Niall stood up quickly, anger flashing through him and it was like every cavity inside of him that had previously been empty was suddenly flooded with a wild range of emotion. And it wasn’t pointed at anything, not at Liam, or the situation, or the pregnancy that wasn’t happening, that was never supposed to even be a notion in their lives, but all that emotion filled him to drowning. “I’m really not pregnant. I had the doctor appointment today to confirm.”
“Wait, what?” Liam asked him, shock lining his features.
“See, you’ve been panicked for completely no reason.” Niall laughed hollowly. “Well, go on. Reckon’d you’d want to celebrate when you found out. M’ already celebrating.” He held up the beer in his hand and drained it. “We can finally put all that shit behind us.” Niall breathed in deeply as he made his way back to the kitchen to grab another.
He turned around to see that Liam was finally nodding his head a bit, “yeah, you’re right of course.” He shook his head slightly and stared down at the stuffed caterpillar in his hands, adding absently, “it's good news, very good news.”
Of course it was great news. Niall ignored the pain fisting through him. It would have been a constant reminder of that thing that Liam had been forced to do when Niall had gotten them in an impossible situation. Christ, how would they have even explained that to anyone? That is, had they even remained mates after. How many times would he have had to stand by while Liam explained, yes the kid is ours, no we’re mates, only mates, and then laughed at the punchline it’s a long story.
Niall would have literally been stuck in a nightmare for the rest of his goddamned life. How would he have ever gotten over Liam if they’d had to raise a kid? Finally finding out he wasn’t pregnant was exactly the break Niall needed and he was overwhelmingly grateful that he could now start back on his suppressants. He’d literally never move forward if he had to fight Liam off on two fronts, loving him with everything in his goddamned heart and being drawn to him inexorably by his alpha presence. At least he had the ability to cut one of those easily out of his life.
“And they say omegas are fertile.” Niall huffed and slammed the rest of his beer. “We beat the overwhelming odds, imagine that.”
Niall found that Liam was still standing there clutching the caterpillar, a myriad of expressions flashing over his face. “Incredible odds.” Liam responded in an odd voice.
Niall swallowed bitterly, it was clearly going to take Liam twice as long to process the news considering he’d gotten himself so fucking worked up and certain that Niall was pregnant. He didn’t really care to stick around when Liam hit the stage of immense relief.
“Told Lou that I was gonna meet him out.” He explained as he walked toward his room.
“Yeah,” Liam blinked distractedly, “maybe I’ll meet you guys out after a bit.”
Niall nodded and sighed once he’d closed his door. He’d technically not lied because he was going to meet Tommo out, he just didn’t know it yet. But it never took very much convincing to get Louis to agree to a club and he quickly sent out a text. Wherever the night took him, he was determined only to think about trivial things.
He glanced at the chaos of his room and wondered if he had anything decently clean to wear out. He changed to a simple black shirt and was in the process of scanning the piles of clothes for some clean skinny jeans when the sound of his door opening startled him and he whipped around.
Liam stood just inside with a pensive look, as if he hadn’t decided on what he’d even come in the room for.
“What?” Niall eventually asked. It seemed like the longer Liam stood there with furrowed brows, he looked more and more confused.
“What if I-” Liam’s voice cut out, fumbling with his words. “What if I had started to want you to be pregnant?”
It suddenly felt like all of the air had been sucked out of his room with that question and Niall couldn’t breathe for a few moments. The weight of it hung there between them, the silence deafening.
“What?” Niall asked, mouth hanging stupidly open in shock. He recovered but still felt utterly flummoxed. “Are you fucking insane? You’ve been stressed out about it for weeks. Shouldn’t you be relieved?”
“I wouldn’t say for weeks,” Liam argued. “I was upset the first week and then…I don’t know. I’d slowly gotten accustomed to it over these last few.” He shrugged like he was feeling guilty for it.
“I had no idea you felt that way but, Li,” Niall laughed quietly, heart pounding as the lunacy of all of this washed over him once again. “Jesus, you’re off the hook. Guess what? You can still have a babe, but at least now you can have one with someone you actually want.” His chest felt like a gorilla had sat on it with that admission. He sucked in short breaths, trying to ward off the tension that was filling him up, the pain that was twisting his insides.
“Well, the thing is, I’d honestly gotten used to the idea of it being you.” Liam laughed shakily, looking at Niall with huge apologetic eyes. “I want it to be you.”
Every single molecule of oxygen had vanished from Niall’s lungs. He quite literally stopped breathing. Liam’s expression turned alarmed and he rushed forward. Niall felt his arms come around him and he hadn’t realized how light-headed he’d gotten until he felt the solidity of Liam’s body to lean on.
“I’m sorry. Forget I said anything.” Liam insisted, eyebrows drawn together in concern. “I didn’t realize how badly that would upset you.” A humorless laugh burst forth. “Of course, why would you want that? I take it back.”
Liam hugged him tighter and Niall pressed his nose into the underside of his jaw. He felt the heat of Liam’s face pushed into his own neck and shuddered when Liam inhaled deeply.
“Don’t take it back.” He answered hoarsely.
Liam stiffened and pulled back, staring so intensely at him that Niall felt warmth flood his face and neck. “Really?”
“Really.” Niall repeated breathlessly.
Liam continued to stare at him intently, brown eyes dark and insistent and Niall felt it then, Liam’s overwhelming alpha presence. His mouth went dry and he couldn’t help the reflexive tightening of his bum. Liam flinched and it burned Niall up inside because there is no possible way that Liam knew his body had even reacted, except that Liam’s scent suddenly hung way heavier in the air, thickening it, until the musky smell of it was all Niall could breathe.
Liam crowded him against the wall and leaned in to whisper, “You want to have my babe? Honestly?”
Niall groaned, gripping to Liam tighter. There was nothing Niall desired more. He’d wanted Liam since he was sixteen years old. The idea of Liam wanting him back in any way had seemed ludicrous for so many years and yet here they were and he had to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating.
He nodded wordlessly and then grappled to find his voice. “But you really want to make one...with me?”
Liam’s face heated, his eyes never leaving his. “It’s quite shameful to admit but I haven’t wanted anything more since the camping trip.”
Niall wanted to close his eyes at the incredible sound of those words but he couldn’t stop staring at Liam. He watched his adam’s apple bob a few times as Liam swallowed. “Knotting you was-” Liam fluttered his eyes closed and clenched his jaws tightly together. When he opened them again, the intensity doubled. He spoke quietly, but steadily, “It was one of the most incredible things I've ever experienced. I had been overwhelmed by how right it felt being with you. It was extremely hard to grasp that afterward."
Niall nodded his head, completely incapable of speech. Not even sure if he wanted to speak if it was going to interrupt anything more that Liam might have to say.
Liam continued, “After it happened, I felt so goddamned ashamed because you didn’t have a choice. And even though you’d said you’d wanted it you were influenced by your heat and I should have been the responsible one. But I couldn’t stop myself. And then I couldn’t stop feeling guilty because I wanted to do it again. I was positively terrified I would jump you at any given moment so I avoided you.”
“But you were so obsessed about me being pregnant.” Niall added.
“I was, yeah. But it was because I couldn’t stop thinking it was all my fault. I should have stopped myself and now you were going to pay for it. And you were so bloody insistent that you weren’t pregnant. I was worried that you weren’t taking it seriously and when you found out you were really going to hate me.”
“Jesus Christ, Liam. Do us all a favor and stop feeling so responsible over every goddamn thing.” Niall laughed in relief. The absolute sweetest feelings in the world swirled around inside him. “I’ve been in love with you since I was sixteen, you twat. I would have been a willing participant long before the camping trip.”
"Well I'm glad you are now because," Liam leaned in until his mouth was barely brushing his. Niall held his breath. "I've been wanting to knot you again ever since the last time. I'd really like it if that is something we could do now.”
Niall could smell the sharp note of Liam's distinct alpha arousal and he took stock of the tension lining Liam's features, the tight set of his wide shoulders, as if he was holding himself in check, waiting for Niall's go ahead. A full body shiver ran through him. He nodded his head quickly to show that he was completely on board with that idea.
Liam leaned into his neck and Niall's fingers clenched over his shoulders. There was nothing that made his belly go soft more than Liam's mouth at his neck. Warm breath hit his skin before Liam's teeth grazed lightly over his throat. "I'm your alpha now, yeah?" His deep voice mumbled over his skin.
Niall nodded his head wordlessly, belly on fire as Liam's teeth bit into the soft curve of his throat.
***
Niall fluttered his eyes open in the dim light of early morning. His breath froze in his chest when he saw Liam facing him, deep even breaths making his chest rise and fall as Niall watched the peaceful slumber of his face. His eyes trailed over his arms visible above the sheet, the muscles of his chest, the birthmark on his throat and his messy hair.
He continued to watch him silently, not allowing himself to feel much of anything. He wasn't sure if he could trust his memory of Liam's words the night before.
“You need to stop that.”
Niall jerked in surprise when Liam’s eyes opened. He looked at him intently and brought his thumb up to rub at the lines between Niall’s eyebrows.
“You don’t have to worry.” Liam assured him softly.
Niall blinked at him.
“I’m not going to freak out, or regret this.” Liam confirmed quietly. “I’m going to stay right here.”
Liam brushed his thumb down the column of his nose and Niall's heart thumped when he caressed his cheek. “It may have taken me a lot longer, but I finally got it right." He paused, brown eyes capturing Niall's attention. "You're my best mate and I love you."
Niall let the words sink in for a few moments quietly. Then he brought his finger up to trace lightly over Liam's lips. He pursed his own together before responding, "I really appreciate everything you're sayin', but can you go brush your teeth? Your breath is absolutely awful."
Liam's shocked face completely gave way to grumpiness. Niall was a complete failure at holding back his laughter as Liam shoved him away. "Unbelievable." Liam scoffed. "I'm declaring my love here and you say that."
"You bet your arse I did." Niall hauled himself up out of bed and padded into the toilet after Liam.
"Well I'm perilously close to taking any and all declarations back." Liam warned.
Niall didn't miss the dig. "Oh, is that how it's used in a sentence?" He laughed and pinched Liam's side. Sentimentality flooded him and he couldn't resist confiding in him. He glanced at Liam in the mirror. "Did you know that's when I realized you were my best mate?"
Liam's shoulders sagged a little and Niall allowed himself to be pulled into the side of his warm body. "And it wasn't all that much longer after that when you became more than." He added quietly.
Liam kissed him firmly on the mouth. "And you're more than that too."
Niall curved a hand in front of his mouth and wrinkled his nose. "Okay enough declarations, we really need to brush and then I'm going to text Lou and Harry."
Liam's forehead wrinkled. "What for?"
He laughed at Liam's expression. He definitely didn't look like a puppy anymore but sometimes he reminded him of one all the same. "To tell them the news, they'll want to know, you nutter."
"Did everyone know about your feelings but me?"
Niall grinned, rubbing a hand in reassurance up and down Liam's spine before pecking him quickly on the cheek. "You do have some catching up to do."