Work Text:
Work ennobled a man, that’s what Jake Seresin had always been taught since childhood.
And working as an assistant editor at Mitchell & Kazansky Publishing in San Diego was more than an ennoblement for him: it was the first step towards the tangible realization of a lifelong dream.
Being able to discover new literary talents, being the personal point of connection between author and publisher, reading book after book and correcting them, being able to lead the whole market towards narrative quality... this was what Jake exactly saw in his future.
A deep love for literature had been present into his life since he was a child – he had learned to read when he was not even three years old and there were books that he really considered his best friends, much more than real people.
And for three years, three very long years, he had been busting his ass to achieve this fundamental goal.
A goal so overwhelming that he had sacrificed everything for it - his closeness to his family in Texas, his private life, holidays and special occasions spent in the office working like a dog.
But all of this didn't bother him at all, in a certain way.
This was the life he had chosen for himself and he was happy to work his way up the metaphorical ladder before getting the promotion he longed for, which he knew would inevitably come for sure.
His commitment was obvious to his coworkers: he was one of the first to arrive and one of the last to leave the office. He was always dressed appropriately, he was bright, expert, and smart, and he managed to connect emotionally with people, authors and colleagues, making everyone feel at ease.
Bu there was only one small, tiny detail that ruined this absolutely idyllic and perfect picture for Jake: his huge asshole of a boss.
Because Bradley Bradshaw was the best editor at Mitchell & Kazansky Publishing, a skilled and incredible professional in his field, gifted with a great literary instinct and capable of building a consistent personal relationship with his authors, even the shyest and more reserved ones.
Jake was honored to be able to learn some magic tricks from him every day, to have a solid foundation of professional preparation in the difficult art of editing, and to learn the immense commitment hidden behind every single book published and presented in the bookstores.
But that man also had a dark side, Jake knew it perfectly well because he was the person in the world he had spent with the most time in years.
Bradley Bradshaw had a facade made of courtesy, kindness and amiability, but, beneath the surface, a volcano of grumpiness, nervousness and hostility was boiling.
His personal requests, which came at all hours of the day and night, were simply ridiculous or insane – like picking him up food at McDonald’s at 2 in the morning, or calls about how much onion was used in traditional German dishes because otherwise he wouldn’t eat anything in Frankfurt, or having much-needed vacation days canceled out of nowhere because Bradley Bradshaw was a grumpy fucking perfectionist who had to proofread an already-so-perfect book a million times and make sure every single comma and every single word was in its place.
So, Jake Seresin was certainly grateful for the opportunity to work at Mitchell & Kazansky Publishing and every morning he woke up knowing that his choice of work life was the right one for him.
But he also knew that working with Bradley Bradshaw was a fucking torture that seemed to never end and God, sometimes Jake hoped that the man would somehow break both his legs and arms and be confined to bed for at least six months, so he could then go back to breathing and having an existence outside of work.
It was almost nine in the morning and Jake, wrapped up in his gray suit with a blue shirt and a blue and gray striped tie, was already standing in Bradley Bradshaw's office; in one hand he had the company tablet where he had scrupulously written down his daily schedule, in the other he had the coffee he had bought especially for him at Starbucks a little while earlier that morning.
He could recite his boss’s eating habits while blindfolded—which was pretty scary, if he thought about it—, so buying him an unsweetened cinnamon light soy latte every single day of his life had become muscle memory at this point.
As the hands on the office clock ticked to nine, Jake heard Bradley Bradshaw’s footsteps getting closer and closer before he entered the room, and anxiety filled his stomach like a balloon.
It wasn’t easy being in a constant state of tension with his boss, but Jake had learned to deal with it.
He let off steam at the gym whenever he could, doing an inordinate amount of push-ups to release his frustration— not the best for his mental health, yeah, but great for his arms. They had never been so beefy.
The very tall, dark-haired man entered his personal space without saying a word and snatched the Starbucks cup filled with coffee from him before standing behind his desk—a huge block of light brown wood, neatly swamped with hardback books, prototypes, documents, pens, and highlighters—and pulling his soft black leather Saint Laurent planner from the briefcase he never left behind.
Everything had a place for Bradley Bradshaw, a man who exuded power and charisma from that precise position, yet Jake sometimes wondered with immense compassion if his entire world was contained solely and exclusively within the four suffocating walls of that office.
“Good morning, boss,” Jake greeted as he read that day’s schedule from his tablet, his Texan accent as thick as ever.
Not even three years in San Diego had softened him up or dented him—you can take a man out of Texas, but you can’t take Texas out of a man.
“You got a Zoom call in half an hour—”
“About our spring book releases's marketing. I know, Jake,” his boss’s deep baritone voice said.
Coupled with his obsessively groomed mustache— sometimes Jake'd been forced to urgently buy him lotion and styling gel from a tiny barber shop in an unfamiliar part of town— and the elegance of his custom-made couture suits and designer ties (Jake had picked up his custom orders from Tom Ford, Prada, and Zegna—he knew the saleswomen in the boutiques by name by now), Bradley Bradshaw sounded more like an actor in an Eighties's action or romance movie than an editor.
“The immigration lawyer called again. He says he urgently needs you to call him back,” Jake said, now positioned next to Bradley’s desk.
This immigration issue was becoming a delicate matter for Jake to handle; the calls about it were becoming closer and closer together and more insistent, he didn’t even know how to get out of this tight situation anymore.
Bradley Bradshaw, who wasn’t a US citizen but a Canadian one, wasn’t caring at all, and Jake was afraid that this particular thing was going to be a bomb that would explode in his face sooner or later.
And any problem that happened to his boss was automatically a problem for Jake, by necessity.
“Stall with the lawyer, I don’t have the time to worry about this at all. We have other things to think about... like DeLillo’s tour in Italy in September for his latest novel. We need to schedule at least one more date in Rome because someone decided to give him a very important Italian award and I want his hotel downtown to be as private and quiet as possible,” Bradley said, his brown eyes already focused on his Mac screen and his mind thinking about two thousand different things at once.
Jake could see the mechanisms of his brain moving, going in thirty separate directions of thought and taking care of a hundred different problems... Christ, that man was hateful and intolerable on a human level and that made Jake wish the worst things would happen to him, but as a professional you could only admire him.
Sometimes this conflict created a short circuit in Jake: he respected Bradley Bradshaw professionally, but, at the same time, he wished he would calm the fuck down a little because he treated everyone around him, Jake first, like docile personal slaves whose only purpose was to please him and run like toy soldiers obedient to his orders.
With that attitude, it was no wonder he didn’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend—everyone knew about his bisexuality, he’d never made a secret of it, but it certainly wasn’t a topic that came up in their daily conversations.
Jake, who was gay himself and had never hidden his sexual orientation either, had his entire life in his hands minute by minute and knew very well that he hadn’t had a love interest in an inordinate amount of time.
The man probably wouldn’t have anyone by his side on his deathbed, not even a soul to mourn him when he passed away... and a slight pang of pity rose in Jake’s heart, where feelings for Bradley usually accumulated in the wild and varied form of a million swear words and insults.
“Speaking of DeLillo, congratulations on the number one position on the best-seller list. It’s a great commercial success and people are already talking about the Pulitzer Prize for him,” Jake said to chase away those unpleasant thoughts, his voice sincerely honest about the result achieved.
Every similar milestone was a gratification that made him proud and made him understand that, despite the constant desire to strangle his boss every time he opened his mouth, for Jake being here, in San Diego, with him at Mitchell & Kazansky Publishing, was the right thing he could do for himself.
“When I want your compliments, I’ll ask for them,” was Bradley’s scornful reply, said without even looking at him, in a tone of voice so cold and detached that it sent shivers down Jake’s spine.
But why do I insist on being nice to him sometimes? Oh, yes, because I’m a fucking human being raised to live in a civilized society with other human beings. Never mind, asshole. Next time I’ll shut up, fuck you.
“I’m going to need you this weekend, though. The DeLillo award I mentioned earlier changes our entire itinerary for Rome... we need to get this out in the press, and I need you to be with me in the office for—”
“This weekend? Precisely this weekend?” Jake asked, his voice completely choked with surprise and then with a furious rage that was crushing his chest like a boulder.
No, this was like a damn nightmare.
A damn nightmare there was no way he was going to wake up from.
Bradley Bradshaw couldn’t possibly do that to him that specific weekend!
“Why, Jake? Do you have any plans? Because I don’t think you have as busy a schedule as I do. Or as many responsibilities as I do, for that matter,” Bradley added, still sounding so rude and arrogant that Jake just wanted to kick him back to Canada.
“It’s just my paternal grandmother’s 90th birthday in Texas... I wanted to come home for that special celebration and spend a few days with my family after a long time.” You know, family? People who love you and are related to you by blood? That concept that’s completely foreign to you, asshole? “But really, what’s better than spending the whole weekend here in the office with you? You’re saving me from a very boring party.”
Bradley wasn’t even listening anymore, as usual – he was back in his own world, made of books, authors, and commitments.
He had already decided that Jake would stay and work with him on DeLillo’s itinerary, no matter what, and the entire world would simply bow to his wishes.
At that precise moment, however, Jake’s only vivid desire was to put his hands around his neck and send him flying out the window, actually.
God, Bradley Bradshaw was truly the bane of his entire existence.
“Yes, yes, Mom, I know-” Jake was trying to speak to his mother, but on the other end of the phone there was a series of angry words drawn out in a thick Texan accent and many, many creative curses towards his boss.
Mom Patricia was right all along, but Jake had no choice.
Every single one of Bradley Bradshaw’s wishes was an order - there was no backtracking, no diplomatic compromises, no reasoning.
Everything was just always and only done his way, period.
Bradley was the sun and Jake was the planet that just had to submit to its gravity without being able to fight back.
“I busted my ass to get this promotion to junior editor, I’ve been working on it for three years and I’m finally close! I know, Mom... I feel sorry for Grandma too,” Jake huffed exasperatedly, his stomach knotted with indignation. “Sure I’d like to come to celebrate Grandma, but I can’t be in two different places at the same time!”
His heart was breaking in his chest—Grandma Lucy was his only still alive grandmother, an extraordinarily energetic and lively woman, and he couldn’t wait to see her again and hug her after so much time away from her—but it’s not like he could split himself and be in San Diego and Lockhart at the same time.
Then, Jake felt a presence beside him in his small office, located right next to Bradley’s.
“If you’re done arguing with your mother, we should be working here. Ice and Mav have urgently called us into their office,” his boss stated with his usual stern frown, as if everything Jake did, even just existing, was a persistant disappointment.
Mum Patricia said one last thing before Jake interrupted their conversation, and Bradley Bradshaw’s brown gaze almost seemed to glow with malice at that exact moment.
“Your mother told you to quit your job, didn’t she?” he asked, his mustache pulled to the side in a crooked smile.
The exasperation Jake was feeling at that moment reached such a peak that he felt the beginning of a terrifying circle in his head that would torment him until the evening.
His workday hadn’t even started two hours ago and he already wanted to go home, bury himself in his bed covers and never emerge again.
“Like every single day,” Jake replied, his jade-green gaze piercing his boss’s with a resentment that almost frightened him.
The two founders of Mitchell & Kazansky Publishing's shared office, known to all their employees by the nicknames of Maverick and Iceman - which fully expressed their characters: Pete was a man who took three or four editorial risks before even having breakfast, while Tom was always so cold and detached in aiming for the best -, was the largest and most beautiful in the entire building.
Everthing was in soothing shades of beige and brown, with an entire room carved out on the side where all the many awards received over decades and decades of career were placed, and it provided a pleasant feeling of warmth when you were inside.
Mav and Ice shared a huge oak desk positioned in front of a huge window you could admire a wonderful view of San Diego from, and Jake felt so tiny in their presence every time he accompanied Bradley to some meeting with the two of them.
They were two giants of the American publishing industry, with incredible careers behind them, and they were also two queer men married to each other. For Jake, Ice and Mav were a true example to follow, and their story was an incredible professional and personal adventure.
He worked closely with Bradley every day and risked ending up in prison at least six or seven times a day, if he ever gave strength to the murderous impulses that man unleashed in him every time he asked him for something.
Mav and Ice, on the other hand, were a perfect couple that worked both at work and in their private life... a more unique than rare case in their frenetic and stressful world, where they tried to anticipate the public taste and provide them with the perfect book.
The feeling of intimidation that Jake felt flowing in his blood in front of the two of them strengthened when he saw Ice's cold gaze rest on Bradley, as if he wanted to disintegrate him at that precise moment, and Mav's mouth frown in a sorry and disappointed expression.
Shit, the simple fact of being called together with Bradley did not bode well.
What the fuck was going to happen in that office?
Jake felt like he was in the eye of a hurricane: everything was spinning around him, while he remained still, anchored to the ground by mysterious roots.
“Bradley, what did we tell you a while ago, before you left for Frankfurt? Don't do it, for God's sake, because there were problems with your visa. And what did you do, though?” Ice asked, his blue eyes burning while his facial muscles seemed as calm as the water of a lake at sunset.
Jake began to feel no air into his lungs, because he began to suspect where this conversation was going.
Bradley did nothing but straighten his back even more, assuming a position that exuded command and confidence, and opened his mouth to reply.
“I went to Germany anyway, and I would do it a thousand more times, if I can be honest. Frankfurt is the most prestigious European book fair, you know that better than me. I couldn’t not go and let Viking steal the rights to Elena Ferrante,” Bradley said, with a brazenness that bordered on open insubordination.
Yet, despite his bullshit attitude, Jake knew that Bradley had done well to go to Germany.
As Ice and Mav did.
“And my husband and I will always wholeheartedly thank you for that,” Mav said, twisting his wedding ring around his ring finger and trying to bring a more relaxed atmosphere to the conversation. “We both know how much you care about our publishing house and your work. No one here is more committed than you are as a senior editor... it’s not like everyone can reach your position at your young age like you did.”
A satisfied smile played on Bradley’s lips, Jake clearly saw it forming and making all the scars on his chin pull.
“What’s the problem then? I don’t think you called me here to blame me for something that happened months ago,” Bradley pointed out correctly, his voice poised and confident as ever.
“The problem is that the United States government doesn’t care why you went out of the country. You did, and that sparked a series of investigations into your legal status in this country... the immigration lawyer didn’t find you in the office and contacted us directly today to let us know that you’re being deported to Canada.”
At that point, Jake felt his breath catch in his chest hearing Mav’s words, as if there were a tight net made of knots squeezing his lungs and preventing him from breathing in.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
He knew this was going to happen sooner or later... those calls seemed urgent, but no, Bradley Bradshaw hadn’t stopped for a second to come out of his own bubble made of selfishness to understand that something really serious was happening in his life.
And yet, despite the shocking news, Bradley remained impassive, like a Greek marble statue exhibited in a museum.
“Oh God, but I’m from Canada! I’m not an alien invading the United States,” he chuckled nervously.
In that moment, from that little uneasy sound, Jake realized that this was upsetting Bradley much, much more than he could show at that moment.
And a possibility crept into his mind: if Bradley Bradshaw were deported back to Canada, he would be assigned to another senior editor and, maybe, maybe he could have his private life back.
That would be very, very fucking good.
Shit, Jake would go party and get drunk that night, maybe even eat a good Italian pizza or some sushi.
That was the best news he’d gotten in months.
And that said a lot about what a crappy life Jake was living in San Diego because of his boss.
“Unfortunately, the lawyer told us about very important documents not being delivered on time... I mean, your personal situation is not salvageable. You’re going to have to leave the US, Bradley,” Ice concluded, as he stood up from his chair and placed a large hand on his husband’s shoulder, squeezing it lovingly.
Jake frantically moved his gaze between the two of them and Bradley as if he were in Wimbeldon watching a tennis match.
“Okay, it’s not a big deal, after all. I can manage my work even remotely... sure, it won’t be easy to make everything going smoothly, but I think I-”
“No, Bradley, unfortunately things can’t go that way. If you get kicked out of the country, you won’t be allowed to work for a US company. We are very sorry, if there was another solution, believe me, we would have offered it to you... losing an element like you at Mitchell & Kazansky Publishing is a very painful event that we could never have imagined,” Mav said, his expression tensed in real sorrow.
Jake felt his bitterness sincerely, and this gave rise to a small wave of pity inside of him towards Ice and Mav.
Bradley was a very precious and very important figure for the entire publishing house, that was true.
Finding someone worthy to replace him would be so, so difficult, but the happiness he felt at the thought of going to the office every morning without that disgusting unsweetened cinnamon light soy latte in his hand and being free of Bradley Bradshaw’s whims forever was stronger than everything else for Jake.
Even the promotion seemed like a much closer time horizon than it had ever been before; finally everything had made sense.
Oh God, this was bad karma that hit Bradley into his head for his grandmother’s ninetieth birthday party... as Sun Tzu had written in The Art of War, "If you wait by the river long enough, the bodies of your enemies will float by".
And that moment for Jake had finally, finally come. And the taste of triumph was so sweet on his tongue, damn it.
“Seresin, we called you here to tell you that you will be relocated in the company and assigned as an assistant editor to someone else. Don’t worry about anything, you won’t suffer any consequences,” Ice began to say, with his proverbial calm.
When that man spoke to you, he was able to establish such a deep connection with you and reassure you in such a soothing way that he could have made you believe that Santa Claus really existed and would come to leave you presents under the Christmas tree.
Jake opened his mouth to verbally thank both him and Mav for the trust they had agreed to him, but he never managed to do it.
Because Bradley Bradshaw uttered a string of sentences that made him spin around the room as his ears heard it and his brain processed it.
“I know this is really embarrassing, and believe me... I never wanted to announce it like this, and yet the situation I unexpectedly find myself in is forcing me to. But Jake and I are getting married!”
Huh????
What the fuck was that man talking about?
Jake stared at Bradley with his jaw hanging open so widely he was afraid it would come undone and start rolling all over the beautiful shiny hardwood floors of Ice and Mav’s office.
“Who-who’s getting married, excuse me?” was what Jake blurted out as a question.
Because his mind was literally refusing to believe a single word Bradley was saying and the point he was making by using that verb in a meaningful sentence with the two of them as the subject.
Bradley’s hand, large and warm, rested on Jake’s chest and he felt his heart leap into his throat at such an embarrassing rate that he thought, for a long moment, that he was going to collapse and pass out in front of them all.
“You and me, silly. There’s no need to hide our love from Ice and Mav anymore,” Bradley whispered in a fake sweet tone, as the world crumpled around Jake and dragged him down an abyss of lies. “Unfortunately, it’s the same old cliche you watch in romcom movies. You know, the boss and the assistant, long nights together in the office, intercontinental trips for books fairs... we are just two people who should never have fallen in love. And yet we did!”
Jake no longer felt like he belonged to his body, he didn’t even know how he was breathing: his soul had left his ribcage and was wandering like a ghost in the air around him.
Oh God, this was what it felt a near-death experience? In fact, Jake was seeing a distant white light in the corners of his eyes growing stronger and stronger.
The shock Jake was feeling was so intense that he hadn’t yet had the strength to utter a single syllable or say anything, literally anything, that could argue with the load of bullshit that Bradley Bradshaw was reeling off with disarming composure in front of the founders of the publishing house they had both worked for for years.
“You can’t resist a love like ours... can’t you, my sweet Jake?” Bradley asked him, his brown eyes focused on his like a laser.
At that point, and only at that point, Jake’s soul re-entered his body, and he was able to return to being a functioning human being, with a brain and the ability to communicate.
“Y-yeah. You’re right, darlin’. You really are impossible to resist,” Jake muttered with little conviction – because God knew, the only thing that was difficult to resist when he was next to Bradley was trying not to punch him –, while in his head he was already thinking about how to try to get out of a situation like this.
And yet, all he could see was pitch black.
Ice’s low voice cut through the darkness, though. “This is such a wonderful news! We’re very happy for you, aren’t we, Mav?” he asked his husband, who shook his head in a very sincere and enthusiastic nod. “This settles everything! Bradley will become an American citizen and can continue to work for us, no problem whatsoever.”
Mav then spoke up and proudly pointed to the wedding ring that shone beautifully on his left ring finger. “Please, guys... legalize it as soon as possible.”
Once again, Bradley stepped in to end the conversation once and for all. “Don’t worry about a thing, Mav. My future husband and I will immediately go to the Immigration Office to clear up this terrible misunderstanding and announce our future wedding!”
Then Jake felt a pair of hands hastily push him out of Ice and Mav’s office, as the trauma of everything that had just happened in that room began to sink in.
“Would you mind explaining to me what the hell just happened a few minutes ago?” Jake almost shouted once he and Bradley entered Bradley’s office.
The bright morning light was filtering through the windows, but Jake had lost track of time ever since he heard his boss announce their wedding.
A wedding that would never happen, for God's sake, since the two of them were barely capable of being anything other than boss and assistant and Jake had never been interested in anything else from Bradley Bradshaw.
“Seresin, do you really think I would let anyone, including the United States Immigration and Customs Office, make me lose my job? The job I’ve literally been sweating for since I got to this country? The job that’s been my whole life and that I’m so damn good at?” Bradley asked rhetorically.
Jake knew really well that not even God himself could move him from whatever he set his mind to.
Bradley Bradshaw’s stubbornness was legendary at Mitchell & Kazansky Publishing... only someone so incredibly stubborn like him could have risen so quickly to the top of the company at his age.
“And so I have to marry you?!” Jake exclaimed, shock seeping into every word he spoke.
He still couldn’t quite put the facts together in a logical way, couldn’t figure out the plan behind what Bradley had so nonchalantly announced to Ice and Mav earlier, but he was certain of one thing: he would never, ever marry Bradley Bradshaw.
From the first moment he’d met him, his boundless arrogance and conceit, his selfish disregard for other people’s feelings had made Jake realize with rock-solid certainty that Bradley would be the last man in the world he could ever take as his lawfully wedded husband.
“Why? Are you saving yourself for someone special?” Bradley asked, his sarcasm so palpable and offensive as ever.
“I’m going to say it slowly now: no, I’m not marrying you. I’m not going to commit an illegal act to keep you from being deported from the United States... and yes, I like the thought of marrying someone special someday!”
By now, Jake felt like he was trapped in a never-ending nightmare, a dreamlike vision that seemed to be taking on more and more horror-movie tones.
God, how could everything have gone so wrong in the last ten minutes of his life?
Then, a cocky little smile appeared on Bradley’s mouth, one that made his mustache curl up and his eyes sparkle.
Because there was nothing this man loved more than proving himself to be the smartest person in the room, in every single room he’d ever entered.
And given Jake’s current brain drain, that was definitely true in this particular instance.
“You will marry me, Jake Seresin... let me tell you why, my dear. The only senior editor they’ll ever give you in this company who matches my experience status is Beau Simpson. And you know how much Simpson hates me, because he’s a total incompetent with a bad reputation who spends more time cheating on his wife than doing his job and loses to me every single day,” Bradley said calmly, as if he were listing off a grocery list rather than completely upending Jake’s life. “And if he hates me, imagine how much he might hate you by association, my former assistant. And if you think it was hell working for me, working for him will make your time with me seem like a playground. Simpson will never make you a junior editor, not even to give the satisfaction of giving a promotion to someone who’s been by my side for three years.”
The unbeatable logic of Bradley’s speech hit Jake like a slap in the face.
The most horrible thing was the fact that he was absolutely right, about everything... Simpson was a petty piece of shit, he would never let Jake become a junior editor.
Never.
“As a result, all the hours of sleep you missed, all the vacations you spent here at the office, all my crazy requests that you performed, all the sacrifices you’ve made over the last three years would be ash in the wind. You’d be stuck here forever as Simpson’s assistant and sooner or later he’d find an excuse to fire you, and not even Ice and Mav could protect you at that point... is that what you want, Jake?” Bradley asked, his voice low while moving closer to his personal space.
Jake couldn’t even speak, overwhelmed by events beyond his own control and by the idea of a truly terrible future, much, much worse than the present he was living at that moment.
He simply stared at Bradley’s face without even blinking and agreed with him with a sharp nod of his head.
“I knew you would retrace your steps, my love,” Bradley said with a false sweetness that was truly shocking to his ears. “Don’t worry, I won’t remain Mr. Seresin for long. I have absolutely no intention of keeping you away from your true love. We will happily divorce once the dust has settled... but, until then, you and I are sitting in the same boat.”
Jake’s throat went dry at that thought.
Unfortunately, his and Bradley Bradshaw’s fates were tied together... his job, his professional future, his dream of a lifetime one step away from being realized were hanging on him.
Like it or not, he had to go along with this madness and pray to God that it would all end as soon as possible.
When, after lunch, Jake and Bradley entered a small private room at the United States Immigration Office, the feeling of anxiety that had been stirring in his chest for hours increased immeasurably.
Suddenly, the silence he and Bradley had fallen into - also because there was nothing to add to the farce he had found himself involved into as a collateral victim - was torn by the voice of a man in his sixties, who entered the room and went to position himself behind the gray metal desk Jake and his future husband had sat in front of.
“Sorry to keep you waiting, but you know how it is here, it’s crazy... Let me introduce myself, I’m Mr. Cain,” Cain said with a hint of a smile, looking them straight in the face and leafing through a folder where the informations that both Jake and Bradley had left when filling out the engagement form earlier had been collected.
“Okay, Jake and Bradley... who is Jake?” Cain asked, and Jake raised his hand in the air.
Oh God, he felt like he was back in school in front of the evil math teacher, trying to pass a very difficult test.
“You are an American citizen, while you, Bradley, are Canadian and have been working in the USA for many years... perfect. I only have one question for you both: are you by any chance committing fraud against the United States government, Mr. Seresin and Mr. Bradshaw?” Cain asked them both point-blank, and Jake literally felt his heart seize up at those words.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
Things were already looking awful, this man had figured everything out between them in one look, there was no way this crazy plan would ever get to the end, and -
Jake’s crazy whirlwind of thoughts was stopped by the touch of Bradley’s hand on his, a grip so firm and safe that he was brought back into reality thanks to it.
“Absolutely not, Mr. Cain. Jake and I are very much in love and we want to legalize our love according to the laws of this wonderful country, the land of the free!” Bradley exclaimed, with such spontaneity that Jake considered him much more suited to a career in Hollywood than as a literary editor by now.
“I didn’t expect a different answer from you. Well, I’ll quickly explain my procedure here... I’ll interview you very thoroughly in two separate rooms, asking you very intimate questions and asking you things that only a future fiancé would know about the other person. Then I’ll dig even deeper... you know, check your phone records, go to your office and talk to your colleagues, and ask your friends about your relationship, too,” Cain declared with confidence, as if he’d had this exact same speech a million times in his life every day.
And he probably had done it.
Then Cain licked his lips and continued speaking, staring first into Bradley’s eyes and then into Jake’s.
His blue gaze, set in a face so full of wrinkles that it looked like a wise turtle, peered deeply into Jake, almost as if he wanted to tear the truth out of him that way.
Jake took a deep breath and squeezed Bradley’s hand again for some pure human comfort.
When Bradley, in turn, squeezed him firmly, he finally felt some calm descend on him from the first moment this huge mess had begun.
“If your answers don’t match in every single detail, you two are gonna be in serious trouble. Bradley, you will be permanently expelled from the United States and will never be allowed to set foot in the country ever again. And you, Jake...” Cain turned to Jake now, his voice as cold as an iceberg, “will be guilty of a very serious crime, punishable by a two hundred and fifty thousand dollar fine and up to five years in federal prison.”
Jake felt the salivation in his mouth dry up and a fucking dread take hold of every fiber of his being.
Bradley’s grip on his hand became iron, and he was secretly really grateful for it right then, because he felt life literally slipping out of him.
“So, Seresin, now that you know all of this... do you want to tell me something, by any chance?” was Cain’s final question, a terrible thrust into Jake’s mind.
But Jake couldn’t afford to go back on that marriage, there was too much at stake for him now.
He wasn’t going to let anyone throw away the last three years of his life, not even the United States government.
Jake squeezed Bradley’s hand one last time before letting go and plastering the most convincing smile he’d ever had on his face.
He wasn’t the only one in the couple who was good at lying, and he was going to prove it to both Bradley and Mr. Cain soon enough.
“The truth is...” and then Jake paused dramatically to heighten the narrative climax of his next statement. Beside him, he could clearly hear Bradley hold his breath, and that almost made him laugh. “That Bradley and I are two people who should never have fallen in love. And yet we did!”
They were the exact same words Bradley had said in front of Ice and Mav when announcing their relationship, but Jake decided to add a few new juicy details to this.
After all, he wasn’t the only one who could benefit from this crazy pretense with Bradley Bradshaw, and he was going to get to the bottom of it.
“Unfortunately, we’ve been keeping this under wraps for months due to our job roles and my big promotion to junior editor in a few weeks,” Jake said, a satisfied smirk on his lips as he watched the confusion unfold in Bradley’s big brown eyes.
“Promotion?” Bradley asked softly, his voice slightly lost.
Oh my God, it felt so incredibly good to finally put him on the spot.
Jake gave him a small shrug, his face as happy as if he’d just won the Super Bowl.
Hell, he could finally turn this mess to his advantage and get something good for himself from being Bradley Bradshaw’s husband—a concept so absurd he was still having trouble processing it into his mind.
“Great. Well, do your families know about your wedding?” was the sensible question Cain asked Jake and Bradley.
Bradley was quicker than Jake, and soon regained control of the conversation.
“I’m an orphan. My father died when I was four, my mother a few months before I turned eighteen. I have no brothers or sisters, or any other close relatives alive,” and Jake clearly perceived a world of bitterness and pain behind that story.
He had grown up in a super loving family, had a very close relationship with his parents and his grandmother... the mere thought of being completely alone in the world, as Bradley was, wrapped his heart with a thousand pins and made it bleed.
“But we’ll tell Jake's family this weekend... you know, it's Grandma’s ninetieth birthday, such a special occasion! It’ll be a nice surprise for everyone,” Bradley added, obviously remembering the birthday party he had prevented Jake from going to only that morning.
But now, oh oh oh, things had turned upside down in a matter of hours.
Karma continued to work its ways in his favor, and Jake was fucking estatic about it.
“Yes, we’re going to my parents’ ranch in Lockhart, thirty miles from Austin. The most beautiful place in the world,” Jake proudly stated with a bright and real smile.
God, how he missed his home, Texas, being in nature... the mere thought of finally going back there made him feel a huge wave of joy that poured through his veins like a drug.
“Amazing, gentlemen. Your interview with me will be Monday afternoon at 3 pm sharp... I will start with Jake first and then finish with Bradley. Remember what I said about me gathering detailed information about you,” was all Cain said before he stood up from his ergonomic chair, handed Bradley his business card, and shook both their hands in dismissal.
Damn, Jake felt like he’d aged at least ten years after that interview and he’d almost had twenty consecutive heart attacks, but at least he’d gotten through it with Bradley.
They hadn’t betrayed each other, they’d stayed focused, and he’d even gotten the promise of a future promotion and a journey back home to his grandmother... maybe this whole mess had a tiny hope of working out.
The street outside the Immigration Office was filled with people walking, taxis and cars speeding across the asphalt, and general confusion.
Jake felt like he’d been transported to another reality than when he’d met Mr. Cain.
A reality where he was knowingly committing a federal crime that could cost him his career and his personal freedom.
And it was definitely time to make Bradley Bradshaw understand how much was at stake for him compared to this reckless story he’d dragged him into.
Meanwhile, his boss had started babbling about plane tickets to Texas and frantically typing on his phone, not even giving him a second glance.
“So, Jake, I want you to book two first-class seats for me and you to Austin right now. We’re announcing our wedding this weekend at Grandma’s party, and that’ll be one less thing to worry about when we get back here in San Diego. Then—”
Jake’s exasperated voice cut Bradley’s stream of consciousness off abruptly, shaking his head forcefully.
No way, that man still couldn’t see further than his own nose and probably didn’t fully understand what they were both risking with this crazy, crazy plan to allow Bradley to avoid being deported to Canada.
“Did you hear what that Mr. Cain told us a few minutes ago? I’m facing a huge fine and five years in prison. I’m sorry, but the terms of our agreement change drastically with this new information,” Jake said, pinning Bradley down with a hand on his arm and making him stand in the middle of the sidewalk, while the rest of San Diego continued to flow by, oblivious to their personal dramas.
Bradley’s brown gaze pierced Jake’s jade with such force that Jake felt scared to the bone.
But he would not back down this time; just as before, he would turn everything to his advantage and force Jake to confirm what he had said in front of Mr. Cain.
“I want to be a junior editor, Bradley. And you will make me one on Monday, when we get back from the weekend with my family,” Jake began, his voice hard as stone and his expression undaunted like never before in that moment face to face with his boss. “It is the necessary prerequisite for me to decide to go through with this marriage.”
An obnoxious chuckle escaped Bradley's drawn lips, as if Jake had just said something enormously stupid.
“No.”
The syllable sank into Jake’s brain like a nail, but he wasn’t going to budge an inch on the matter.
He was going to get what he wanted from Bradley Bradshaw, or God help him, he wasn’t going to lift a finger for him and he would just see him get fired and sent to Canada forever.
“Well, it wasn’t a pleasure meeting you, Bradley Bradshaw. Enjoy your deportation,” Jake said snidely, without ever leaving his boss’s face.
And he saw the precise moment that asshole had to cave in to him, because he had no other choice.
Bradley needed Jake desperately, much, much more than Jake needed him.
That gave him leeway to finally get some real benefits after three hellish years at his side.
“Okay, okay! I’ll make you junior editor when we get back to the office next week, I promise,” those words finally reached Jake’s ears, sweet as honey.
God, Bradley had caved in on something at last. And that something was his well-deserved promotion.
Jake felt a happy smile creep across his features and a feeling of elation seep into his bloodstream, bubbling like champagne.
“And I’ll be the one to decide how and when we announce our engagement in Texas. It’s my family, so it’s up to me,” he said confidently to Bradley, the other man’s handsome head made of brown curls shaking silently in affirmation.
And now, the big finale. Go, Seresin.
“There’s only one more thing left to do... or rather, for you to do. Ask me to marry you, Bradley, and do it nicely.”
The look of complete shock on Bradley’s face almost made Jake laugh, but he knew he absolutely wanted to hear the proposal from his boss.
Not to humiliate him – well, not completely, but there was definitely a lot of revenge in Jake about that –, but to make him understand that their dynamic was changing and that Jake would no longer passively accept his fucking antics in a situation like that.
They would do things right, period.
“Are you kidding me? You want me to kneel on a dirty San Diego sidewalk for you? In my brand new Ermenegildo Zegna suit?” Bradley asked incredulously, as if Jake had suddenly grown two heads.
“You got it right, darlin'. Get down on one knee and ask me to be your husband,” Jake declared with pure bliss.
Not even receiving a real proposal would have made him this happy, probably... oh, how nice it felt to finally have upper hand with Bradley Bradshaw after years of putting up with him.
At that point, Bradley let out a long sigh and knelt on the sidewalk, his black suit pants creasing as he touched the dirty asphalt.
Jake looked at him in that position and something clicked in his brain at seeing him like that.
Bradley Bradshaw was a very, very handsome man, and seeing him submit to him unleashed an indefinable feeling that Jake pushed deep into the back of his mind.
This was certainly not the time for such a thing.
“Will you marry me?” Bradley asked, his tone as annoyed and cold as ever.
Oh, no, no, no.
No, he wouldn’t get away with that, Jake would make sure of it.
They would be on that sidewalk until Christmas if he didn’t do exactly what he wanted.
Jake’s head shook in denial.
“No. Say it with feeling, darlin'. After all, you love me enough to ask me to spend the rest of our lives together!” Jake said, still standing, as he watched the people walking around him look at them strangely— well, no one in their right mind would ever propose in the middle of the street outside the San Diego Immigration Office at two pm.
It was the most unromantic thing in the world, but Jake didn’t care what anyone else thought at this particular moment.
He looked back up at Bradley’s eyes, which were warmer in the early afternoon light, and nodded encouragingly.
“Jacob Seresin... my sweet, sweet Jake. Light of my eyes, heart of my heart, would you do me the immense honor of marrying me?” Bradley asked, his expression darkened with irritation dripping from every word.
God, Jake wanted to record this on his phone and watch it forever, but he hadn’t thought to.
What a shame.
“I don’t appreciate the sarcasm you used on me, but I am a very generous man and I’m okay with that, my dear future husband,” Jake joked, as he offered Bradley a hand to lift him up from his kneeling position.
There were two gray stains on the fabric of his black suit, and Jake’s lips curled into a wicked smile at that.
“I’ll email you all the details of our trip to Austin. I’ll see you at the airport tomorrow morning, Bradley,” was all Jake said before turning his back on him and walking away.
Damn, it felt good to finally have all the power towards Bradley into his hands.
The folder Jake was clutching on the plane that was taking him and Bradley to Texas was only a few pages long, but it held a lot of weight for their future.
His back rested further on the soft padding of his seat—first class was truly a little paradise to travel in—as he peeled off the thin sheets of paper and reread them for the umpteenth time before carefully handing them to Bradley.
“These are the questions Mr. Cain might ask us on Monday, he emailed them to me and I printed them out to prepare ourselves for this interview. Now, the good thing is that I can answer to all of them with my eyes closed... the bad thing is that you only have four days to learn everything about me. And you’re going to have to work hard for it,” Jake said, a Cheshire Cat smile plastered across his lips.
God, he was having so much fun.
There weren’t enough words in human existence to express how much he was enjoying this particular moment.
Bradley’s gaze scanned the thick list in a matter of seconds—he could even read quickly, that man, and that was an extraordinary skill that made all the difference as an editor—, then his brown eyes settled on Jake’s face.
“Oh my fucking God, can you really answer any of these questions about me? It’s really creepy, if I may say so,” Bradley said, his voice deadpan as if none of this was affecting him.
Was Jake the only one who constantly felt the absurdity of the situation they’d both found themselves in? Was even Bradley Bradshaw a human being capable of feeling emotions, or was he some kind of serial killer in disguise with no empathy?
“Oh, let’s start with this. What am I allergic to?” Bradley asked Jake, and Jake found himself answering with embarrassing ease.
“Nuts. Walnuts and peanuts in particular... I always tell restaurants when I book business lunches or dinners for you to make sure there’s absolutely no trace of them in your food. I know you carry an EpiPen around with you at all times for that,” Jake replied, confidence spilling over into every word.
Besides himself, Bradley was the person who knew the most about every single, stupid detail.
“Oh, and if I may add... I think you’re also allergic to the entire spectrum of human emotions. But let’s pretend I won’t mention that during the interrogation,” Jake joked, winking at Bradley, who instead had put on a murderous expression.
“Do I have scars or tattoos? Well, this one is easy,” Bradley continued, his gaze fixed on the papers he was holding in his hands with a very firm grip.
Anyone could see the series of scars that adorned his chin, neck, and the left side of his face.
Jake thought he could even draw them if asked.
“Your facial scars are visible, but I think there are even more further down your neck and probably on your left shoulder,” Jake stated, letting his gaze slide to the very places on Bradley’s body he was naming. “I don’t know where they come from. And I think if I’m asked that question-”
Bradley’s voice broke in with a peremptory tone that had rarely been heard in Jake’s time with him.
“I don’t want to talk about it. That question isn’t in the file,” Bradley said dryly, not allowing for any reply. “What about tattoos?”
Ouch.
The scars subject was obviously a touchy one for Bradley, and Jake decided he’d leave him alone about that, at least for today.
“I’m pretty sure you have one, but I’m not sure where. A couple years ago, someone called your office, asking for confirmation about the Q Switch appointment. I immediately googled it and found out it’s a laser used to remove tattoos. But then you canceled the appointment, so you still have it,” Jake concluded, triumphant over his own secret investigation.
A smirk spread across Bradley’s lips.
“Holy shit, Sherlock Holmes... you are so obsessed with me,” Bradley comically said before looking at Jake.
Before Jake could open his mouth and reply, Bradley stopped him with a hand in the air. “No, I’m not telling you where my tattoo is. That’s out of the file too, I’m sorry.”
And, strangely and unexpectedly, Jake felt a small, insignificant pang of regret at the idea that Bradley didn’t trust him to tell him these things at all, after three years of being side by side almost every day.
The devil was in the details sometimes, and Jake absolutely needed the interrogation with Mr. Cain on Monday to go brilliantly for both him and Bradley.
He had no intention of going to prison for his boss, no matter what.
They were almost landing in Austin and his mind was already on the moment when he could finally hug his family again after so long, but from the next day Jake would also forcefully extract from Bradley all the informations that would have made a romantic relationship between the two of them truly believable.
It was brutally hot in Austin, and Jake was already feeling his white t-shirt sticking to him at an extreme speed, but he was so, so happy to finally be back home that he would have kissed the ground after getting off the plane with Bradley just like the Pope.
After collecting their suitcases - he had managed to fit everything into a duffel bag, in addition to a backpack he had on his shoulders, while Bradley had a set of Vuitton suitcases that looked like they had just come out of the boutique window -, Jake checked his cell phone and saw a text from his family.
His father, his mother, and his grandmother were waiting for them outside, in the parking lot, next to their dark blue Chevy.
Jake took a deep breath and looked at Bradley resolutely.
“My family is the most important thing to me. Don’t be an asshole with them, just be polite and kind, and everything will be fine,” Jake told Bradley, who looked at him as if he had just spoken to him in Japanese.
“Who do you think I am? I know how to deal with people!” Bradley exclaimed, almost sounding hurt.
But Jake didn’t care about hurting his precious, delicate feelings; he cared about them both surviving this weekend together and, most importantly, the following Monday at the immigration office.
After walking through the endless maze that was Austin-Bergstrom airport, Jake walked out the exit doors with Bradley and headed toward the parking lot, where, under the sun, his father Martin, his mother Patricia, and his grandmother Lucy were waiting for them.
When Jake met their gaze, his heart was filled with an immense happiness, one he hadn’t really felt in a long time.
God, how much he had fucking missed his family.
Now that he was seeing them again, he fully realized it.
Jake was engulfed in a tight group hug and he smelled the scent of his grandmother’s hairspray mixed with his father’s aftershave and his mother’s perfume as if it were the most perfect blend ever.
“Guys, it’s so nice to see you again! I missed you so much!” Jake exclaimed, detaching himself from that blob of arms to look at their faces and hug them again individually one by one.
Of course, Grandma Lucy, the birthday girl, got the biggest hug of them all.
“Family, this is Bradley Bradshaw, my boyfriend,” Jake announced, as Bradley turned into a still pillar of salt.
He was obviously a bag of nerves and seemed almost terrified of meeting the Seresins; this sparked a small seed of tenderness in Jake, but that was swept away in a nanosecond.
“Hello everyone, it’s so nice to meet you,” was all Bradley could say, his voice uncertain and fragile.
Jake had never seen him like that, and he was deeply shocked for it.
Maybe it had something to do with the fact that he was an orphan and had not had a stable relationship for years?
At that point, the awkward silence that had fallen between the five of them was broken by Grandma Lucy, who was an honest and outspoken woman.
“The pleasure is ours, dear. What do you like to be called? Bradley or the son of Satan?” Grandma joked, eliciting nervous laughter from all of them, Jake first. “You know, we’ve heard a lot of variations on that topic in three years!”
And Jake realized in that moment that he was going to have to work really hard to convince his entire family, people who knew him better than anyone in the entire universe, that he and Bradley, a man he’d been verbally tearing down just the morning before, were so madly in love with each other that they were on the verge of getting married.
Shit, it had been easier to come out to them at fourteen than announce their future wedding to them.
Luckily, Lockhart was a nice little town about thirty miles from Austin, so the drive to the family ranch, which was just outside the city limits, was pretty quick as usual for Jake.
His grandmother was in the front of the Chevy, his father was driving, his mother was in the back between him and Bradley, but Jake still wouldn’t let go of his fake boyfriend’s gaze for a second.
By the time Bradley turned to him once they’d entered town, Jake had been staring at him for full five minutes.
“Honey, I noticed the last name Seresin all over a lot of business signs around town,” Bradley said, his voice somewhere between strident pleasantry and barely concealed anger.
What the fuck was wrong with that man now?
What was his problem?
“Oh, Bradley,” Mom Patricia said from her position in the middle of the happy couple. “Jake is so modest when it comes to our family business. You know better than me how cocky he is about other things, like his looks or his brilliance, but he’s always been very private about this.”
Jake’s laughter filled the car, drowning out the Johnny Cash song currently playing on the radio.
“Mom, please! Don’t say things like these in front of my boyfriend,” Jake begged, embarrassed as if all of this were real.
Which it wasn’t.
Bradley Bradshaw was his boss, and he needed Jake to marry him to avoid being deported to Canada.
Plain and simple.
“Patricia, is my hotel close? I can’t wait to take a shower,” Bradley said, and Jake noticed how the humid Texas heat was starting to take its toll on him.
In fact, the air of that day was almost suffocating.
“Oh boy, do you think I would let my son’s boyfriend sleep in the city when we have a huge ranch just waiting for you? We canceled Jake’s reservation in your name as soon as he forwarded it to us,” Patricia said sassily.
Jake had definitely gotten that specific quality from her, there was no doubt about it.
“Thank you so much for your thoughtfulness, then,” Bradley replied, and Jake could see how deeply that thing had shaken him.
Jake had traveled with him several times, both in the US and Europe, and he knew very well how much he disliked surprises in travel itineraries.
But he also knew that Bradley was a smart man and that he couldn’t oppose any of his boyfriend’s family’s ideas. Not even the craziest or most inappropriate ones.
Bradley Bradshaw should have said yes to the Seresin family’s wishes without saying a word, and Jake was secretly so pleased about that that a happy little smile appeared on his face, bright as the sun.
The Seresin ranch beautifully stood on a piece of land that was several acres in size, with a very thriving farm inside it, which had been the nerve center of the family’s business for three generations.
The main house was a huge, three-story, tan stone structure, and for Jake, that was the only true place in the universe he could really call home with his whole heart.
God, being back in Texas was so good, he wanted to cry almost every second because of it.
The smell of the air, the chirping of the cicadas and the chirping of the birds in the background, the warm wind that occasionally shook the branches of the trees around the house... everything was so familiar that he never wanted to leave again.
But Jake knew that his life was not here, in Lockhart, but his dreams had always been bigger than what that small town could offer him.
San Diego was his right place, he knew it deep down, but it was like having his soul still split in two places at once.
Two irreconcilable existences had been offered to him, and he had made his choice by working at Mitchell & Kazansky Publishing with Bradley.
Bradley, meanwhile, had gotten out of the Chevy, which had stopped in front of the Seresin house's entrance, like all the other members of Jake's family, and immediately approached Jake with an irritated frown that marred his features.
"Honey, how come you never thought to tell me that your family was so rich?" Bradley asked with barely concealed annoyance.
Jake laughed like an idiot and grabbed his hand. The contact made Bradley stiffen like a sheet of ice at the North Pole, but he didn’t care.
They were engaged, and they had to sell this as believably as possible to his father, his mother, and his grandmother.
It wasn’t an unreachable mission from Jake’s point of view, but they both had to work on being more familiar with each other’s touch on their bodies.
“Because I didn’t want you to want me for the things I had and not for my heart overflowing with love for you. Besides, I’m not rich... my family is,” Jake confessed easily.
Bradley’s point-blank response didn’t take even a moment to arrive.
“That’s the classic thing a rich person would say, actually.”
Yet for Jake it was the honest truth: he had never considered himself rich and had never relied on his family’s financial resources beyond his college education. Everything he had achieved in San Diego, for example, was the result of his personal commitment and his dedication to work.
“Besides, in these last three years everything we ever talked about is you... how could I have ever started this particular conversation?” Jake whispered in Bradley’s ear, reveling in the stiffness he felt taking over Bradley’s body again.
It was so funny to see him in this reversed dynamic, Jake never wanted this to end.
They were at home, in his state, with his family, in his territory.
Bradley was, for once, at the mercy of Jake’s will, and that gave him a rather twisted secret pleasure.
Then Jake looked up from Bradley’s face—his scars stood out even more under the Texas sun, he didn’t understand why—and saw two figures on the patio waving at them.
He blinked and noticed that they were Bob and Natasha, his two best friends since kindergarten.
Jake waved at them and immediately turned to his mother and his grandmother, who were already on the stairs and waiting to go inside the Seresin house, in the cool.
“Mom, Grandma... what’s going on? Why are Bob and Natasha here?” he asked naively while Bradley was still standing beside him, but in his heart he already knew their answer.
“Oh, we just threw you and Bradley a little welcome party,” Patricia replied, her beautiful face relaxed in a satisfied expression of surprise.
Then, Grandma Lucy’s shrill voice cut through the air. “Come in, guys... we’re just a few close friends. Only about fifty people between relatives, friends, and neighbors!”
Jake felt the blood drain from his face, pale as a sheet.
Lying to his family – and that was already a very complicated business – was one thing, but doing this in front of basically everyone he’d known for his whole life...
Good God, this was really getting out of hand.
“You and I need to talk. Now.”
Those words overwhelmed Jake as he was calmly sipping a cold glass of cedar juice.
Then someone - but he knew perfectly well it was Bradley - grabbed him by the waist and pushed him into a remote corner of his living room, which at that moment was swarming with relatives, friends, and neighbors like never been before.
In the middle of the room there was a huge rectangular table where a generous Tex-Mex buffet had been set up, on another round table a short distance away were all the desserts - Grandma Lucy had even baked her famous mint and chocolate chip cookies, and Jake had already had some saved for him - and on the kitchen island, nestled in the open space that connected it to the living room, there were rows of frozen drinks.
Mom Patricia had done things in a big way, and this was just a little party to welcome the returning prodigal son... Jake's mind stopped for a moment on what that woman would be capable of planning for her son's wedding.
Jake then looked up and saw Bradley's frowning expression staring at him.
"What is it?" Jake blurted out.
“We are two terrible boyfriends, no one here would ever believe that we are a couple... I was kidnapped by your grandmother who introduced me to all your uncles and cousins, and you didn’t come near me even once!” Bradley complained through gritted teeth, and Jake was reluctantly forced to agree with him.
He had let himself be overwhelmed by the homely atmosphere, the warmth of his family and the familiarity of Texas without thinking that he still had a ridiculous farce to keep up with Bradley Bradshaw.
“We seem to be in the midst of a Cold War between us. Jake, I need this fake relationship to be believable more than you, remember that!” Bradley exclaimed, a very clear vein of anxiety ringing into every single word.
Jake sighed heavily, playing with the crystal glass half full of yellow cedar juice, before giving in.
He was right, damn it.
They had to get back on track and show everyone how happy and in love they were together.
“I can do it, Bradley. I literally proved it to you... it’s easy for me to show that I have human feelings. You’re the one who’s going to have to learn how to pull that fucking giant stick out of your a-”
Bradley never let him finish that sentence.
He pressed his big, hot hand over his mouth to silence him, and Jake just stood there, staring at him, his eyes probably blazing and something heavy stirring in his chest.
He didn’t have time to process it because their little exchange was interrupted by Bob and Natasha, who approached them with curiosity clearly painted on their faces.
Bob and Natasha had been Jake’s closest friends for as long as he could remember: they’d attended from kindergarten through high school, grown up together until Jake went to college out of Texas. The two had been a couple since they were eighteen and had gotten married a couple years ago – the last time Jake had been able to go back home.
They were a couple who was incredibly in love, and Jake sweated at the thought of having to interact with Bradley in front of them.
“Jake, are we interrupting something? We’d really like to finally meet Bradley here,” Natasha’s chirpy voice stated, her hair in her usual bun and a string of pearls adorning her neck. Beside her, Bob was silent, but his gaze was as keenly observant as ever.
Jake felt like a caged animal at the zoo, with the paying public all around him.
Bradley’s hand was quickly snatched away from his mouth, as Jake introduced him and tried to start a conversation that would involve Bradley, telling them how they met in San Diego.
“Oh, so Bradley is your boss,” Bob stated ruthlessly, his gaze gleaming beneath his gold-rimmed glasses.
Natasha squeezed his hand and stepped in to soften the mood.
“Not only that, my dear. Bradley was the man Jake hated and who actually turned out to be his great love. Isn’t that romantic?” she asked the small group of people who had gathered around them in the meantime, including Jake's family, attracted by the story of Bradley and Jake’s past.
Jake realized that this was the perfect moment to announce their marriage, and he didn’t miss that opportunity for anything in the world.
He wrapped an arm around Bradley’s chest – which he felt less rigid under his touch, he was finally getting the hint – and, putting on his most brilliant and proudest smile, he announced the good news to everyone.
“It’s so damn romantic, Nat... and do you know why? Because this man is going to be my husband!” Jake said smoothly, as if he wasn’t spouting a devastating lie about his life to everyone.
That made him feel strange in more ways than one, and the warmth of Bradley’s body under his touch only made that feeling of unease amplify beneath his skin.
A cheer erupted throughout the living room at those words and Jake could clearly hear his family's cheers, who ran to hug him and Bradley as if he had just given them the best news ever.
Jake’s eyes filled with tears at that moment, and he couldn’t even pinpoint the exact reason why he was feeling that way.
After several bottles of chilled champagne were served to celebrate the wonderful news, Jake and Bradley were on the large white couch in the living room, with Granma Lucy and Mom Patricia on either side of them, asking them a barrage of questions about their love story.
Then Natasha emerged from the small crowd carefully listening to them and asked the one question Jake hadn’t bothered with since all this incredible craziness had begun to creep into his life.
“Who popped the question?” Natasha asked, her eyes sparkling with curiosity, with Bob at her side, calmly sipping a Coke.
Jake swallowed hard before Bradley took charge and began to speak—sometimes it was comforting to know that his proverbial cool head would kick in just when Jake felt his personal control on everything slipping through his fingers like hot sand.
“Jake to me, in the middle of the street,” Bradley said, in what was a twisted twist on their one pseudo-marriage proposal.
“My beloved Jake, how dare you? I didn’t raise you like this, that’s not a romantic proposal at all,” Grandma Lucy said, giving her grandson a small, affectionate pat on the arm.
“I know, Grandma... but Bradley’s been dropping hints about wanting me to propose for months,” Jake said, laughter forming in his throat and the deep understanding that he had no idea where this was going.
But he was going to have fun with Bradley too, oh yeah.
“And you met Bradley today... he’s as soft as a gunshot to the face,” he finished with a smile that looked saccharine on the outside, but Bradley stared at him with his eyes narrowed.
“Oof, you have no idea how seriously moved he was when he asked me... he got down on one knee in the middle of the street, with this overwhelming urge to never be separated from me again, and he asked me to be his forever with little, tender sobs like a baby. Everyone around us was staring at us with concern, it was soooo touching,” Bradley continued to lie, as he put a hand on Jake’s knee and squeezed it so hard he could have broken his kneecap.
“What about the ring?” Bob asked.
God, Bob was a tough cookie - Jake was scared every time he opened his mouth.
He always asked pointed questions and seemed to want to dig deeper into Jake and Bradley’s relationship... he was one of the most reluctant spectators of this show specifically designed to fool them all about their love affair.
“Jake got me a beautiful vintage ring inlaid with gold and mother-of-pearl, but he didn’t consider that my fingers are very large,” Bradley replied, always quick to spill details about nonexistent things that never happened. “It’s currently at my jeweler’s to be adjusted to my size... it will be ready when we get back to San Diego next week.”
And then Bradley turned his brown gaze, coated in sweetness and affection, to Jake.
And if he didn’t know how tense and on the verge of a precipice their relationship was at any second now, the fervent warm in those burnt caramel irises might have fooled him and made everything between them seem real.
Almost.
That moment was abruptly interrupted by Grandma Lucy's voice, which always managed to be heard clearly above the chatter of all those people gathered at the Seresin house.
“Awww, Jake! But I didn't think you were so thoughtful towards the man you love... well, let's seal your future love promise with a nice kiss, what do you say?”
Grandma's proposal was greeted with thunderous applause and so many whistles, which almost broke Jake's eardrums with their impetuosity.
He looked at Bradley, who seemed as terrified as a bird in a cage, and a small wave of pity for him made its way inside him.
“No, Grandma, there is no need...” Jake tried to say, but Grandma Lucy grabbed his arm and pushed him to his feet.
“We’re not delicate wildflowers in here, my dear grandson. Take your future husband and give him a big kiss on the mouth!” was Grandma’s heartfelt plea.
Well, she certainly was very supportive towards the couple formed by Jake and Bradley, unlike Bob.
Jake looked at Bradley, still sitting on the couch, and held out his hand as if he were asking him to go with him to the high school prom.
“Would you do me the honor of standing by my side, Bradley?”
Bradley took a very deep helpless breath before getting up from his position and standing next to Jake.
He was a few inches taller than Jake, and Jake usually got really annoyed by that – it was another way he towered over everyone around him and bent them to his will – but, in that precise moment, it didn’t bother him at all.
Quite the opposite, actually.
Jake leaned in close to Bradley and planted a kiss on his cheek, light as a feather.
His skin was smooth and the scent of his expensive cologne was extremely spicy and woody – Jake had never smelled him so close in three years. It was a very good and masculine smell, he had to admit.
A series of violent boos hit him and Bradley in a split second like an unstoppable storm.
“Boys, what is this bland, insipid kiss?” asked Grandma Lucy. “I want to see a real kiss between you two, come on!”
And her appeal was taken up by everyone else in the living room with impressive speed, as if they had all infected each other. Even Jake’s father started yelling Kiss, kiss! like a madman along with guests.
Jake stared into Bradley’s eyes, almost as if seeking shy permission for what he was going to do in a few seconds.
All Jake could hear was the sentence “Let’s just get this over with,” before Bradley’s hands grabbed his white t-shirt and pulled him toward him forcefully.
The contact between their lips was nothing short of surreal – also because of Bradley’s mustache, which felt really strange on Jake's skin -, and Jake’s brain didn’t immediately register what they were actually doing, so his eyes remained open for a few seconds in shock as Bradley’s mouth moved over his.
Then, as if a secret switch had flipped in his head he didn’t know about, Jake closed his eyelids and simply went with the flow.
His lips were parted by Bradley’s tongue, which entered Jake’s mouth as if it were his own, and that made Jake shiver, despite the scorching heat of the day.
The way Bradley was kissing him was a pure reflection of his personality: confident, strong, determined.
There was no arguing with his desire, and that created a pool of longing in Jake’s stomach that was rapidly and dangerously spreading throughout his body, as he tried to keep his hands to himself and his cock in his jeans.
Oh.
Oh, fuck.
Ten minutes ago, he had never even imagined kissing Bradley Bradshaw, the most unlikable and frustrating man he had ever met in his entire life, and now it seemed like he had become his only source of oxygen in the whole fucking world.
Then, Jake heard applause and whistles getting even louder, and that abruptly reminded him that their little show had fifty spectators, including his mother, his father, and his ninety-year-old grandmother.
That thought made him suddenly pull away from Bradley, looking at him as if he had never really seen or known him until that specific moment, and Jake felt himself submerged in the most intense confusion he had ever felt.
What the fuck had just happened between him and Bradley? And, most of all, why did a part of him desperately want that passionate kiss to happen again as soon as possible?
That impetuous greed for him and his lips made the blood in his veins freeze like snow.
Jake’s bedroom at the Seresin house had recently been renovated and made more suitable for a thirty-something: the single bed he had slept in for years had been replaced with a comfortable king-size bed, there were new rugs on the floor, paintings with various Texas landscapes hanging everywhere, and a huge cherry wood wardrobe leaning against one of the walls.
The deep feeling of welcome that all of this was transmitting to him calmed his soul for a long moment, still shocked by the fiery kiss he and Bradley had exchanged that afternoon.
The party had gone on and on until well past dinner time, but now it was getting really late and Jake felt a deep tiredness that had taken up residence in his bones.
He felt disoriented, he needed to take a shower and try to sleep, avoiding thinking for another second about the softness of Bradley Bradshaw’s lips on his.
“So guys, this is your room. You have an en suite bathroom,” Mom Patricia began sweetly, pointing to the room with a cursory gesture, Grandma Lucy at her side as perky as ever. “You’ll sleep here together in peace, no one will disturb you.”
Bradley’s face took on a shocked expression, Jake noticed it immediately.
“I don’t understand... I sleep here... with Jake?” he asked slowly, as if his brain wasn’t grasping the meaning of the words he had just heard.
Jake simply thought that he was very tired too – the day had been very long, he had been constantly surrounded by his family, his relatives and his friends... it was not easy to manage a social occasion of that kind, especially since Bradley had always been very reserved and not inclined to be in a crowd for long periods.
He wanted the attention of others on his own terms, not by external imposition.
Grandma Lucy shook her head affirmatively at Bradley’s question.
“Yes, you sleep here. We don’t think you and my grandson aren’t sleeping in the same bed in San Diego... for God’s sake, you work together every day and you’re engaged!”
Jake chuckled; his grandmother’s logic was perfect, fitting for him and Bradley being a couple in love.
Too bad everything was a big, fat lie and they would never sleep together in that bed.
Jake found himself swallowing a burning lump in his throat at that thought, and he felt his mind spiral out of control again every time he thought about himself being so close with his boss.
Then Mom Patricia walked over to the cherry wood closet and opened its oversized doors to show Jake and Bradley its contents.
“You can find here clean towels, robes, and blankets, in case you need them,” she said. “Oh, Grandma, did you put the fertility blanket in here?”
Jake burst out laughing at the sight of that old blanket, all made up of different colors and embroidery stitched together in a visually pleasing patchwork: it was a family heirloom that was passed down through the generations, and it brought good luck to new couples that formed within the Seresins.
Bradley was staring at that blanket as if it were a time bomb ready to explode in his face, and that made Jake laugh even more lightheartedly.
“Grandma, but... I don’t know if you realized that, but Jake and I are two men. The fertility blanket will never be of any use to us,” Bradley explained, his mustache curling in a confused expression.
Grandma Lucy’s response was immediate, with the timing of a stand-up comedian.
“Just because you’re two men and can adopt your future children doesn’t mean you can’t try it the natural way like everyone else does!” muttered Grandma, peppering her joke with a mischievous wink that made Jake hot flashes again and filled his head with images that there really wasn't any point in processing further.
All he had to do now was run off to the shower— a cold... very, very cold shower —and not think about anything else than getting through this weekend with Bradley and his family in Texas.
Period.
After showering and changing into his pajamas—shorts and an old, soft gray t-shirt—, Jake settled further down on the oversized Persian rug by his bed.
He had given up the bed to Bradley immediately and decided to sleep on the floor, without even trying to put up a fight for his natural right to a comfortable mattress.
The thought of sharing a single bed with Bradley was far beyond what he could have endured during those days at his house.
And the verb endure was taking on multiple meanings in his head.
Then, suddenly, his thoughts became smoke dispersed in the air because Jake heard the bathroom door open and Bradley's voice calling him.
“I’m about to go out, close your eyes and don't look at me... I forgot my pajamas on the bed,” was all Bradley’s low, tired voice said to him.
Jake huffed in exasperation – Good God, what were they? Fourteen? He was a man too, he wouldn’t have been shocked if he saw Bradley's half naked body wrapped in a towel... okay, no, maybe closing his eyes had been a good suggestion that he should have taken.
“Get out of there, my eyes are closed. Scout’s honor,” Jake whispered into the silence of their shared bedroom, the only noise that could be heard in the background the hum of the air conditioner filling the walls with cool air.
Jake then heard Bradley’s soft footsteps approaching him and then going towards the bed, but at that point curiosity won everything else inside him.
He opened one eye and saw Bradley’s naked, muscular back flexing to better adjust his pajama shorts, which hugged his ass and thighs.
The salivation in Jake’s mouth instantly stopped, and he felt a strange sensation in the pit of his stomach again, like many little tongues of fire that were caressing him.
Troubled and with a deep tiredness that was now begging him to sleep, Jake quickly closed his eyes again, adjusted his head even more firmly on the pillow, and did everything he could to chase that senseless confusion from his head.
“Good night, Bradley,” he whispered, but there was no response.
Or maybe he didn’t hear it, because his brain shut down instantly.
Jake woke up early and in a good mood the next morning, and went straight down to his kitchen to fill his stomach with a hearty breakfast.
He was starving, and couldn’t wait to sink his teeth into his mother’s pancakes, smothering them in maple syrup as he loved to do.
His mother, his father, and his grandmother were already gathered around the kitchen island. Seeing them there filled Jake’s soul with infinite joy; he had missed those moments with his family immensely.
“Morning, dear,” Grandma Lucy said before planting a huge kiss on Jake’s cheek, while Martin patted her son on the back and Patricia ruffled his hair – God only knew what a mess Jake had in his hair, but he didn’t give a damn.
Those were the people he loved most in the whole world, and their affection filled Jake down to the smallest molecule of himself.
“Your pancakes are ready, here they come,” Mama Patricia said before handing him a plate full of steaming pancakes. Jake’s stomach rumbled at that heavenly sight and he didn’t even wait a second before sitting down and taking a bite.
“Mmmm... delicious as always, Mum!” Jake exclaimed happily.
Grandma Lucy’s gaze became questioning, though. “Doesn’t Bradley make you breakfast when you sleep over, my dear?”
Jake almost choked on that thought, but he managed to swallow his bite without risking his life.
Grandma couldn't know that he was the only one who took care of Bradley's breakfast every single day at the office, that damned unsweetened cinnamon light soy latte that was then followed at ten thirty by a whole wheat muffin with apples or blueberries that Jake had specially delivered fresh from the oven from a bakery very close to Mitchell & Kazansky Publishing.
Grandma couldn't know that Jake and Bradley's relationship wasn't romantic, that they didn't share a bed, that they weren't really together, that just yesterday they had shared their first kiss in front of fifty people... but the lie they had both concocted for that weekend implied that the two of them lived like a couple about to get married.
And the weight of those lies fell on Jake at that moment like a wall composed by very heavy bricks.
“No, Grandma. Bradley’s not very good at cooking,” Jake said between pancakes, the sticky maple syrup filling his mouth so much that it was killing any other taste.
“What am I not good at?” Bradley’s low, raspy voice suddenly came out of nowhere.
His hair was messed up, too, his expression was very soft, and Jake had never, ever seen him like that.
Bradley Bradshaw was the man who ran the San Diego literary world with a dictatorial attitude in a suit and tie, he never showed an emotional breakdown... he was always perfect, always focused, always brilliant, always unbearable.
And Jake tried to reconcile that image he’d lived with for three years, a boss who terrified everyone with a look and could bend the entire universe to his will, with the one he had before him in his parents’ kitchen in Lockhart.
“Cooking, darlin'. But don’t worry, you’ll make up for it with other qualities,” Jake stated before pulling him towards him and wrapping him in his arms, amid the mushy comments of his family.
Bradley still smelled like the coconut bubble bath that was in the shower of their shared bathroom, and that made Jake want to sink further into that delicious scent.
But then Jake decided to have some fun with Bradley, so he brought his hand down to the other man’s ass, patting it lightly with a couple of times.
Bradley leaned in to give him a kiss on the cheek, but, instead, he whispered something in his ear in such a cold tone that Jake’s heart stopped in his chest.
“Touch my ass again and I swear I’ll cut your balls off tonight while you sleep,” Bradley declared dryly, followed by a sweet smile so fake that Jake couldn’t help but laugh again.
He had never laughed so much in his company, and that triggered something disconcerting inside Jake.
As usual, Grandma Lucy’s voice saved him from the black hole of insane and inappropriate thoughts that his mind was producing.
“Bradley, after breakfast Patricia and I would like to take you for a walk around the city, show you around Lockhart a bit, and maybe go out for lunch in a nice restaurant... how about it?”
Jake watched Bradley as he sat down and filled a ceramic mug with a generous amount of coffee.
He couldn’t have saved him even if he wanted to: his mother and grandmother legitimately wanted to get to know him better alone, since he would be part of the Seresin family, and Jake could have used those hours away from him to calm the fuck down a bit and put some healthy distance between the two of them.
Bradley glanced quickly at Jake and realized that he would have to fight this battle alone, without his support and without his presence.
“That’s a wonderful idea, Grandma! Just let me know what to wear,” he said, stealing a forkful of pancakes from Jake’s plate. “God, how can you make everything taste so sweet? Those pancakes are completely covered in syrup!”
Yet his series of complaints didn’t grate on Jake’s nerves, for the first time in forever.
He was slowly getting to know the man behind the mask Bradley put on himself every day.
It was late afternoon now, there was a light breeze that cooled the air a little, and Jake had so much nervous energy in his body that he decided to go for a nice run along the ranch.
He decided to just put on his running shorts and no shirt—it would have been useless, he would have soaked it in sweat in less than five seconds—and put on his sneakers and jammed his AirPods into his ears, blasting his favorite 80s rock playlist, and just clear his mind for a bit.
No worries about Bradley Bradshaw, about their fake wedding, about their nonexistent love, about their interview on Monday, about the sea of lies that had formed a throne he was now comfortably seated on... none of that, just his feet pounding the ground and his steady breathing, his heart pumping blood at a rapid rate.
Jake couldn’t tell exactly how long he ran: all he knew was that songs were constantly piling up in the background and the sun had lost its strength in the sky at some point, starting to set.
Humming to Foghat’s Slow Ride, Jake headed up to the bedroom to take a well-earned shower and let the cold water soothe his aching muscles.
He walked over to Bradley’s bed, slipped off his shoes and the shorts he was wearing with his underwear, and headed for the en suite bathroom door, still wearing his AirPods.
God, they were amazing because they completely canceled out background noise and were waterproof, too... Jake always wore them, even under the shower.
But when he opened the door, Jake saw only one thing: a massive chunk of naked muscle falling on him with devastating force.
In a split second, the floor was dangerously close to Jake, and he felt the full weight of Bradley’s body crushing him.
In one fluid move, Jake took off his AirPods, throwing them to the floor, and tried to figure out why out of nowhere he and Bradley were both naked and entwined on their bedroom carpet.
“Oh my God, you’re naked!” Bradley screamed hysterically in his ear, while Jake in turn screamed “Oh my God, you’re wet!”; this exchange would have been comical if he hadn’t been in a terrible panic at the thought of having Bradley completely naked on him.
“Don’t look at me, don’t look at me!” Bradley screamed again as he pushed away from Jake and burrowed into the bed, ripping a blanket off it and wrapping it around himself in shock. “Why are you naked, Jake? Cover yourself, cover yourself, for God’s sake!”
Jake’s brain power returned at that point, so he stood up as quick as lightning and opened the cherry wood closet to grab a towel and put it around his waist.
“Now you have to explain why you jumped on me, though!” Jake screamed, his voice rising several octaves.
“No, you jumped on me! I just got back from the day out with your mom and Grandma, and I took a shower because I was feeling so sticky... I was lost in thought when I rushed out the door and didn’t realize I was going to run into a human mountain!” Bradley explained, as he struggled to get dressed and calm down.
Jake couldn’t help but crack a joke to ease the tension that had built up between the two of them.
“Nice tattoo, by the way!” Jake stated before receiving a sharp response from Bradley in the form of a pillow thrown at his face with surgical precision.
The evening after the dinner had been pretty quiet, and Jake had quickly retreated to his bedroom, followed closely by Bradley, who received warm hugs from Mom Patricia and Grandma Lucy before they all went their separate ways for the night.
After settling into their usual spots – Bradley in bed and Jake on the rug on the floor –, a nervous silence descended on them both.
Jake decided to fill it, because he couldn’t stand the tension with Bradley anymore.
Not anymore, really.
“Fuck, you were completely naked,” he whispered, wishing he weren't on the floor, so he could see the irritated look that was surely painted on Bradley’s face.
Bradley’s harsh response was not long in coming, as usual.
“I would kindly ask you to forget about it and never bring it up again. What happened between us was totally unprofessional.”
And those words pierced Jake’s heart like sharp, poisoned arrows, even if he couldn’t discern why.
Was it possible that after two days together there had been no progress between them?
He and Bradley must have seemed, or rather been, a happy couple about to get married for the whole world.
Jake had welcomed him into his home, into his family, he was acting similarly affectionate towards him, they had even kissed... and Bradley continued to be locked up in his ivory tower on top of the highest mountain.
Only, at this rate, no one would ever come to save him.
Least of all Jake.
Then, at a certain point, the silence that had arisen from Bradley's stubborn words was actually broken by him with a deep sigh that seemed composed by ineluctable resignation.
“I really like horror movies... they relax me a lot. You don't know how many times I've watched The Shining or Suspiria after a stressful day at the office,” Bradley began, his voice echoing perfectly between the walls of their bedroom.
Jake felt his breath catch in his throat, waiting preciously to receive truly intimate details about himself like a man in the desert searching for an oasis.
“The first concert I ever went to was Elton John in Toronto, I was twelve. My favorite song is Vienna by Billy Joel... every time I listen to it, I cry like a baby. Oh, I can play the piano and drums very well since I was a child... my mother always pushed me to follow my artistic inclinations, but I liked reading more than anything else.”
Every single piece of information for Jake was like an unexpected gift that he was receiving from Bradley without even understanding why he was doing it.
That immobilized him so much that he didn’t even have the courage to breathe... he wanted Bradley to tell him everything, anything, spontaneously, without forcing it.
Jake would have accepted even the most insignificant element about his inner life with the greatest gratitude in the universe, because he imagined how much it was costing Bradley to open up to him.
But he was finally doing it, and this was changing everything.
“I hate flowers in the house because they remind me of funerals, and I’ve already been to my parents’ funerals, unfortunately. Plus, I’m terrible at video games, you know? Every year at Christmas I reread The Little Prince because that’s the book my mom always read to me when I was a little kid, and I grow a mustache because my dad had one. People always told me we look alike.”
The references to his dead parents brought tears to Jake’s eyes, and the urge to get up and hug Bradley surged through him like a terrifying wave, which, miraculously, he managed to keep at bay.
Jake suspected that Bradley’s confessions had been like a dam breaking inside his mind, and now he was finally letting out a lot of things that were deeply buried inside him to another person.
“I haven’t had sex in a year and a half, oh my God. And after Ice and Mav told me I was getting kicked out of the States, I went and locked myself in the bathroom and cried... because my whole life is in this country and I don’t want to give it up at any cost. The tattoo you saw on my chest, above my heart, is a rooster. I got it after my mother died... you’ll probably laugh when you know what it means, but it doesn’t matter,” Bradley joked in a watery voice, as if he were touched, but Jake knew he could never laugh when he heard why he had a rooster tattooed on him.
“The rooster is the first animal to sing when a new day breaks, and I, at that precise moment in my life, was in total darkness. I hoped it would symbolize a return to the light for me, someday,” Bradley confessed, and Jake felt like a knife sinking straight into his heart and twisting, twisting, twisting, until it bled profusely.
“Dad was a Navy pilot and died in an air maneuver when I was four, Mom died of breast cancer when I was almost eighteen. After Mom died, I was completely alone and well, my life went to shit. One night I had a serious car accident: vehicle destroyed, and scars on my face for life. At that moment I realized I couldn’t self-destruct myself like that, so I got the tattoo and a few years later I ran away here to the States to build a new life,” Bradley concluded his story, his voice was a soft whisper and Jake’s chest reduced to a tight chain-link mesh that crushed everything and prevented him from breathing.
He could never have imagined such a tragic story in Bradley’s past, so much pain in the life of a man who, he now understood, always kept others at a distance with his presumptuous attitude to keep his pain away from resurfacing.
“Jake, are you there? Say something, please,” Bradley almost begged, and that hurt Jake like a punch in the nose.
His heartbreaking confidences had been entrusted to no one but Jake, and he felt deeply honored but this.
But he also couldn’t let all this pain cement between them, and decided to break the mood with a stupid joke to get a smile out of Bradley; Jake suspected he really needed it.
“I’m here, don't worry about it... have you really not gotten laid in eighteen months, Bradley?” Jake laughed, trying to chase away the melancholy that had taken over that night between them.
“I poured my heart out to you and this is what I get in return, Jake?” Bradley sneered, his voice finally lighter than it had been a few minutes earlier. “You’re a complete idiot! You know how busy I’ve been with work!”
Jake was very proud of having managed to put joy back into him where, until few seconds before, there had been deep sadness.
Then he cleared his throat and decided to return the honesty that Bradley had offered him with so much effort.
“Please don’t misunderstand what I’m about to tell you... you are a very, very beautiful man. And I’m not talking about your appearance, but about what you have inside. Something you have never allowed anyone to see,” Jake declared, his voice shaking slightly with emotion. “Thank you for telling me all of this, Bradley... it means a lot to me.”
Jake didn’t have to look up and look at Bradley’s bed to know that his brown gaze had melted into a shade so warm and sweet that it could have made anyone lose their mind.
Maybe, including Jake himself.
A light knock on the door, which gradually grew louder, woke Jake from his sleep that morning.
But, foolishly, he hoped that if he put his head back on his pillow and pretended nothing was happening, that noise would stop being so annoying.
No way.
The voices outside the door became more insistent and a pillow landed hard on his face for the second time in two days.
Jake was going to have to give Bradley a good talk about this.
“It’s your parents and grandma! Jake, hurry up, get in bed with me!” Bradley said softly, with a terrified urgency in his tone.
So Jake quickly got up from the rug where he slept at night, hastily rearranged his sheets and pillows on the bed where Bradley was also tidying up, and crawled under the covers with him.
“Let’s spoon, quick!” Bradley said, before trailing off. “Oh my God, are you stinging me?”
Jake stood still for a second before laughing back.
“It’s the morning, you know! You’re a man like me!”
And Jake, finally holding Bradley in what should have been their bed, realized that he was a man.
A very muscular, massive man and with a huge chest that seemed extremely comfortable to curl up on at night instead of the floor.
“You can come in,” Jake shouted to his family, and a couple of moments later, his mother, his father, and his grandmother entered the bedroom.
Mom Patricia was clutching a giant tray of warm treats—Jake could see four cinnamon rolls that smelled heavenly—, bowls of freshly cut fruit, a small jug of freshly squeezed orange juice, and another one with coffee.
“Good morning, boys,” Grandma said before sitting at the foot of the bed and looking at Jake and Bradley with eyes that sparkled with joy.
Jake swallowed hard at the sight of her like that: when Grandma Lucy had one of her sudden brilliant ideas, she acted exactly like that.
And so, he tried to mentally prepare for the impact that would follow, grabbing a portion of Bradley’s skin that was peeking out from under his pajama shirt and caressing it with intention.
“Mom and I had an idea, and Martin agrees with us too... we would love for you two to get married here tomorrow!”
Damn, that’s it.
Jake had a bad feeling about this.
Bradley went completely stiff in his arms, and Jake felt everything spinning around him like in Mav and Ice’s office, when Bradley had announced their engagement out of nowhere.
“What?” Jake said, trying to figure out where his family was going with this absolutely crazy idea.
“Well, you guys already decided to get married... Please do it here, we would love it,” Mom Patricia began to plead, and Jake could already feel his resolve melting like butter in the August sun.
Then came the final blow with Grandma Lucy.
“Please do it for me! For me, your Grandma!”
Bradley, as had happened previously in the days spent in Texas, tried to bring everything back to rationality.
“No, grandma, it’s your ninetieth birthday party tomorrow... Jake and I could never steal your thunder like this,” he stated, Jake shaking his head at every word with conviction.
They couldn’t get married the next day, dammit!
He... he wasn’t ready for that!
Jake felt like he was on the verge of a panic attack at the mere thought, for God’s sake.
Grandma’s voice was so firm as to not allow for any arguments.
“I’ve already celebrated eighty-nine birthdays on Earth and I don’t think you two could give me a better gift than getting married tomorrow. I really want to see my only grandson get married, it’s my dream... please, guys, before I die!”
Jake opened his mouth in mid-air and nothing came out; he couldn’t articulate a single sound to counter an argument like that.
How could he possibly take away from his grandmother, his only living beloved grandmother, the joy of seeing him get married?
Even if everything was totally fake, oh god, totally fake because he and Bradley weren’t in love and they weren’t going to spend the rest of their lives together and there was no way Bradley would ever want that... okay, Jake was definitely about to have a panic attack by now.
“You two shouldn’t worry about anything, Grandma and I would plan everything just fine,” Mom Patricia said, happiness making sweet dimples appear at the sides of her mouth. “The ceremony will be in the ranch barn, as has been the Seresin family tradition for generations.”
Bradley’s usual sarcasm came through at that moment, and Jake was very grateful for it.
“I’ve always dreamed of getting married in a barn, haven’t I, my love?” Bradley asked him, almost digging his nails into the arm that Jake still had wrapped around his chest and that Jake feared had turned to reinforced concrete because he couldn’t move it an inch from him.
“I feel the same, darlin',” Jake replied dryly, and he was glad to know that he was still able to speak after the shock that, for the second time in a few days, people around him were inflicting on him.
Grandma Lucy looked at them dreamily before getting up from their bed and signaling Patricia and Martin to leave them alone.
“So that’s a presage! Oh, my boys... you really are made for each other,” she proclaimed sweetly before leaving to give privacy to what she thought was a happy couple of future spouses.
Panic coursed through Jake’s veins again, making it impossible to breathe or think.
Oh my God, fuck, fuck, fuck... this was a complete disaster!
He had never thought about the fact that his own family might propose to arrange his marriage to Bradley, that he might get married in front of them, that he would have to lie in front of the people he loved the most like that.
When he was sure they were alone, Jake pulled away from Bradley and started talking like a river in flood swollen with water.
“Holy shit, Bradley! You and I are in deep trouble right now!” he almost shouted, his voice shaking with apprehension.
Lying to his bosses, to the United States government, to everyone he knew, to his parents and his grandmother... Oh no, Jake was a monster.
Bradley tried to calm him down, but his words wouldn’t even process in Jake’s brain, which had now fallen into a state of total prostration.
“When everyone finds out that you and I set up this charade, my parents will be devastated and Grandma... oh god, Grandma will have a heart attack! Bradley, I’m going to kill my grandma!”
But Bradley’s voice, this time, managed to overcome everything else and slip into Jake’s thoughts, solid as a lifeline.
“Jake, look at me. Look at me,” Bradley begged, grabbing his arms and shaking him, while Jake stared into his brown eyes and tried to imprint their exact shade in his mind to find any hold that would keep him from hyperventilating. “I promise you, they will never find out the truth about you and me. I swear, Jake... don’t worry about anything, okay?”
Bradley’s hands then began to slide over the skin of Jake’s shoulders and he finally felt the comfort of that touch enter deep inside him, all the way to his heart, and his breathing became slower and calmer.
Bradley was there with him, they were in this together, and everything was going to be okay.
Jake wasn’t alone in this mess, and he was definitely going to get through it with him.
“We’ll be happily divorced in a few months, and this will be nothing more than a distant memory for both of us. Everything will be okay, Jake, trust me,” Bradley said, his fingertips still moving all over Jake, even his jaw, his neck, and his throat.
Jake truly believed that everything would be okay for the two of them, for him, but it was easy to believe that when Bradley’s touch was so gentle, so soft it brought tears to his eyes.
God, Jake loved it when Bradley touched him like that.
And in that exact moment, he knew that maybe for this would end for the best for everyone, but not for him.
Everything would be okay, Bradley was right, but maybe his heart was a lot more exposed than Jake could have ever thought three days ago.
“Come on, let’s have breakfast... I really want to eat these delicious cinnamon rolls,” Bradley said before he took his hands off Jake and grabbed the tray that Mom Patricia had left between their sheets.
Jake watched as he loaded up a plate with a little bit of everything for him, and he had to start telling himself that what he and Bradley, his fucking obnoxious boss in San Diego, were nothing more than a business arrangement, a cynical transaction that would keep him from being deported to Canada and get Jake a promotion.
Stay focused, Jake. Don’t lose control now.
Everything’s going to be okay, like Bradley just said.
Stay focused, goddammit.
Jake wanted to be outside that afternoon, so he decided to drag Bradley along and show him the Seresin ranch a little better.
The vast spaces of Texas, the feeling of being one with nature and the sky, the inner peace he felt in those moments were a great consolation for Jake, a balm to apply to the wounds that he increasingly feared that the intricate situation with Bradley could inflict on him.
They were walking after visiting the stable with the horses - it had taken him twenty minutes to convince Bradley to ride the most docile mare in the herd, Mary Jo, but without much success -, around them the complete absence of sounds, and the awareness in Jake's heart that the man he was watching walking beside him would become his husband the next day.
Holy shit, what was he doing? How would this whole crazy story end for him?
Jake tried to push away any kind of reflection in that moment, and opened his mouth to tell Bradley something.
Anything to fill the quiet that had enveloped them like a bubble.
“Let’s continue with my list of things I like, shall we?” Jake asked, while he kicked pebbles with his boots along the short path that was leading them home.
Bradley looked at him, his skin golden in the light of the sunset that was now surrounding them and his eyes seemed to shine like the bottom of a glass filled with fine whiskey.
“Shoot. I need to know everything about my husband, don’t you think?”
And, like every time Jake thought about their impending wedding, his breath caught in his throat.
“So, let’s see... I love Pringles, they’re delicious. Fan of Coke, not Pepsi. My favorite movie is Top Gun and for a while as a kid I thought I could be a fighter pilot. I still know every line from the original Star Wars trilogy by heart, I literally wore out the VHS tapes when I was nine. I cry every time I see The Lion King, and if I had a time machine, I’d take it to meet Dostoevsky and Tolstoy,” Jake said, his voice sounding confident when his knees were actually shaking at the thought of revealing these big, silly little details to Bradley.
The smile he saw bloom on the other man’s face was genuine and full of gratitude, he recognized it immediately.
“I’ve got it all written down in my head, thanks,” Bradley joked, pointing to his temple with his index finger.
Then they walked side by side for a few more feet before Bradley himself scratched the calm of that shared moment with his baritone voice.
“You know your mother and your grandmother dragged me into the city today?” Bradley asked, while frantically picking at his knuckles.
Jake immediately sensed his sudden nervousness, so he quickly tried to calm him down with some idiotic joke.
“I know, you disappeared most of the day... but you survived, as demonstrated by your presence with me right now. You’re learning to handle them by now, I have to think about awarding you a gold medal of valor for this,” Jake joked, wanting to see Bradley’s lips curled into a smile and not a tense straight line.
He didn’t like that, at all: he wanted Bradley to be as peaceful as possible.
Isn’t that what a good husband wants, after all?
But no laughter came from Bradley’s chest.
Instead, his voice reached Jake’s ears in anguish.
“They took me to a tailor’s to try on the dress I’ll wear tomorrow at our- at our wedding. Your mother said she wanted to come to San Diego with your father and Grandma for Christmas, and I said maybe you and I could get back to Texas, because I’m really starting to like it here and I don’t want Grandma to get too worked up,” Bradley said, his words coming out quickly, almost as if he was afraid of ruining everything by exposing himself. “Patricia started crying, and so did I. Your Grandma gave me these beautiful gold cufflinks to wear tomorrow... she told me they’ve been in your family for a hundred and fifty years and that I’m the one for you, Jake.”
Jake felt his heart seize up at the sound of this.
He searched the back of his mind for something to say, but couldn’t find a single thing that could express the feelings he was having.
He didn’t even know what they were anymore.
“She-she made me promise to wear them to every big occasion we have because that’s how she can be there for us after she’s gone,” and there Bradley’s voice cracked like glass shattering into a thousand pieces on the floor.
And Jake felt something inside him break in the exact same way.
What had started as a crazy way to keep Bradley from leaving the United States because of an expired visa was turning into something much bigger than the two of them, involving his family and feelings Jake didn’t even want to think about.
“Jake, you have no idea how much I want to run away from everything and everyone right now,” Bradley confessed, entrusted to Jake’s eyes.
Jake tried to open his mouth and answer him, but he couldn’t because Bradley hit him again with a torrent of agitated words, stopping their walk to look at him.
“I forgot it, okay? I forgot what it was like to have a family, Jake. I’ve been alone in the world since I was eighteen, loneliness is all I know, and I pour it into my work. That’s why I’m the best senior editor in San Diego,” Bradley whispered, the orange and gold sunset rays sculpting the lines of his face crumpled with pain.
Jake just wanted to hug him, caress him, do anything to make him stop suffering like that.
But he made sure to remain still as a statue while the other man, his fucking boss, opened up to him like that for the second time in less than a day.
Bradley Bradshaw had always seemed to him a detestable and emotionally distant person, incapable of empathy or even the slightest human decency, and instead... instead he had a beautiful and sensitive soul, wounded by the suffering and isolation he had found himself in from a very young age.
“I forgot what it was like to have people who love you and care about your well-being, people who make you breakfast and bring it to your bed, people who ask you about your Christmas holidays, people who give you precious family heirlooms to always be by your side,” Bradley continued, his brown eyes drowning in unshed tears.
The lump in Jake’s throat was getting tighter and tighter, almost cutting off his breathing, and he found himself completely at the mercy of the things he was feeling and trying to stifle with increasing desperation.
“You have all of this, Jake. You have the most precious thing in the world, I know what I’m talking about, and I’m destroying it for you-”
Jake immediately acted to silence Bradley, because he couldn’t stand to listen to such nonsense.
“You’re not destroying anything, Bradley! You and I have an agreement, remember?” he asked, in a vain attempt to remind himself that this whole situation had come about for a very specific reason: to prevent Bradley from being kicked out of the country and to ensure that Jake would gain a major advantage with a promotion in return.
He had to remember that this was all an exchange of favors between the two of them.
Nothing more, nothing less.
And he had to get that into his stupid head, which was wandering more and more in very, very risky directions.
“Listen to me, Jake. Your family loves you so much, and you want to lie to them for what reason? Do you really want to go along with this mindless charade with me?” were the right questions Bradley asked, and the honest answer to them scared Jake to the core of his being.
“No, you listen to me, Bradley! They’ll never find out, don’t worry,” Jake said calmly, in a reversal of the exact same situation that had happened only that morning in their bed.
Every hour felt like weeks that weekend in Texas, and it seemed to Jake that a completely different man than the one he had been just a few days earlier would land in San Diego on Monday morning.
“Oh God, we’re never going to get away with this, and Grandma Lucy is going to have a heart attack when she finds out we lied to her! I’m going to kill Grandma!” Bradley declared hysterically, panicking and on the verge of tearing his hair out.
Jake acted on instinct: he leaned forward into his personal space, grabbed his hands with a firm grip, and tried to spread some much-needed calm with that contact.
Bradley couldn’t lose his mind like that, and Jake was going to stop him, no matter what.
Because they were in the same boat, and he was going to do anything to keep this fucking boat afloat, at all costs.
“Hey, hey, Bradley... just breathe, okay? Calm down. Don’t give yourself a heart attack, please!” Jake said, looking into Bradley’s eyes and soaking in the brown of his irises.
That color was even more beautiful in the sunset light, so deep that Jake could drown in it without a single complaint about it, and that thought almost brought Jake himself to the brink of a heart attack.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
“Everything will be okay... just trust me, please,” Jake pleaded heartily to Bradley before hugging him and trying to calm his crisis.
His arms hugged him tightly, breathing in his scent, and Jake’s mind tried to avoid the fact that they were hugging without anyone seeing them.
That this wasn’t a gesture done as a performance in front of his family or other people he knew, but a real moment of sharing between the two of them.
God, having Bradley in his arms was amazing for Jake... he never wanted that moment to end.
And that was becoming a serious problem now.
A male figure stood at the base of the steps leading up to the Seresin house, and when Jake returning from his walk with Bradley, recognized him, his blood ran cold.
He was grateful with his whole heart that his mother, his father, and his grandmother were still out in town arranging the final details of the wedding for the next day, because he wasn’t sure how he would be able to handle Mr. Cain’s presence in Lockhart with them in that moment.
Jake tried to remain as calm as possible and act natural: he immediately grabbed Bradley’s hand, who returned his grip with firmness, and approached Cain with a friendly smile plastered on his face.
“Mr. Cain, what a pleasant surprise to see you here in Texas! Don’t tell me you came all this way just for me and Bradley,” Jake joked, his heart pounding in his ears with terror.
Cain’s blue eyes stared at him with determination and confidence, their meeting in San Diego a few days before in his office seemed to belong to another life for Jake now.
“Good evening, Mr. Seresin and Mr. Bradshaw. I warned you that I would investigate your relationship thoroughly,” was Mr. Cain’s curt introduction, the wrinkles on his face resembling a mysterious spiderweb. “I came all the way here because this morning I received news from your office about you two getting married tomorrow, so I decided to attend your ceremony in person.”
After breakfast, Bradley had immediately called Ice and Mav, announcing that he and Jake would be legalizing their relationship on Sunday, and the two of them, very relieved, had no doubt told everything the lawyer, who, in turn, had notified the Immigration Office.
Damn.
“It’s a real pleasure to have you at our wedding, Mr. Cain,” Jake said kindly, but he actually felt like he had in front of him a dog who seemed docile, but that dog could bite his hand off if he wanted to.
He would have to be as diplomatic as he could with this man and protect himself and Bradley from the irreparable consequences that could come if their little plan was discovered.
“Thank you so much, but I have to tell you that I am 99% convinced that your relationship is actually just a sham to keep your boss from being deported to Canada,” Cain said confidently, as Jake felt his world collapse.
He took a deep breath, while Bradley, beside him, silently held his hand, still as a tree.
“Since I don’t like dragging American citizens to court for these unpleasant crimes, I came all the way here to make you a proposition, Jake,” Cain said, his voice as unyielding as steel.
God, that man scared Jake like Stephen King’s IT.
“Son, admit that this marriage between you two is a joke and everything will be resolved civically for you and Bradley, I promise. There will be no problems or legal consequences for anyone... just tell the truth, your boss will leave the United States as he should, and your life will flow as placid as a country river until the day you die.”
Those words sank into Jake’s mind, but the only answer he produced in response was a rejection so sincere it almost scared him.
Jake wanted to protect himself, his family, and, most importantly, Bradley from the repercussions their lie might have.
He didn’t want Bradley to walk away from him, quit his job in San Diego, stop being his boss... he would stop it at any cost.
Bradley opened his mouth to respond to Mr. Cain, but Jake was, for once, faster than him, and brutally spoke.
“I’m sorry, but I’m not going to do that. You want the truth? This is the truth,” Jake began, gripping Bradley’s hand tighter and trying to steel himself.
Christ, he was lying through his teeth to a representative of the United States government in his own home.
He must have completely lost it, that much was certain to Jake.
“Bradley and I have been working together for three years. About six months ago we started dating. We are very much in love with each other and tomorrow we are getting married here in front of my family. I look forward to seeing you at the wedding ceremony, Mr. Cain... have a good evening,” was all Jake said casually before dragging Bradley into his house, as if everything he’d just described had actually been his life and not some big, elaborate lie.
But that was the crux of the problem for Jake.
Lying about how much he loved Bradley was such an easy thing for him to do in front of everyone now, the details of their relationship were set in his head and he stuck to them as if they had actually happened between them.
Shit, the line between truth and lies had become as thin as a thread for Jake.
And his heart sank at that terrifying thought.
After dinner, Jake and Bradley went to their bedroom together.
The atmosphere between them was heavy, but Jake’s family assumed it was just due to the tension of becoming husbands tomorrow.
Jake still couldn’t believe that just three days ago he hated Bradley Bradshaw with the force of a thousand suns and now... now he wasn’t sure of anything anymore.
But he knew one thing for sure: that Sunday he and Bradley would get married in the Seresin' ranch barn and they would stay together just long enough to be able to divorce without raising suspicions about the truth.
Jake would finally become a junior editor, his career would advance brilliantly, and his insane marriage to Bradley Bradshaw would become just a distant memory that would fade with the passing of time.
As Bradley sat on the mattress of their bed, he looked at Jake in an indefinable way with those pleading puppy dog eyes he had—for God’s sake, had Jake really thought that about him? How out of his mind must he have gone by this point?—, and then he opened his mouth for the first time in hours.
“Jake... are you sure you want to do this? I really appreciate what you’re doing for me, but you can still back out. I swear on my parents, you’re still getting your promotion,” Bradley said sincerely.
Jake knew Bradley was the most honest person he’d ever met.
He was sometimes abrasive and rude, sure, and he occasionally unleashed violent murderous instincts in Jake when his arrogance went too far, but he was a decent and honest man.
When he promised something, he kept it to the end.
It was one of his best qualities, one Jake had learned to truly appreciate with his heart over the last seventy-two hours.
And the fact that he’d brought up his dead parents was proof to Jake that Bradley was offering him a real way out of their marriage.
Jake shook his head. “I’d be lying to you if I said I was as sure as I was a few days ago, but I-”
I…
The sentence Jake wanted to say, and he didn’t even know what it would actually be, was forever stuck in his mouth, because a knock on the door stopped him from speaking.
The bedroom door swung open and Grandma Lucy’s serene face peeked out.
“My boys, here you are! Jake, come with me... no sleeping together the night before the wedding,” Grandma solemnly declared before grabbing Jake and dragging him away from Bradley. “Now give your fiancé one last kiss, you’ll have the rest of your lives to be together!”
“Grandma, come on, please, let me at least get my toothbrush and my pajamas,” Jake said, quickly grabbing what he needed before going over to Bradley, who was still on the bed and looking at him with an enigmatic look.
Then he did what Grandma had told him to do: he leaned over Bradley, took his face in his hands and left a light kiss on his full lips.
As if it were normal to kiss like that between them, as if everything between them was real and not a colossal lie that sooner or later threatened to collapse on both of them and overwhelm their lives.
“See you tomorrow... goodnight, darlin',” was all Jake whispered to Bradley before looking at him one last time, gathering everything he needed for the night, and leaving with Grandma.
Jake wouldn’t sleep a wink that night, he was sure of it.
The Seresin ranch barn had been decorated to perfection with warm lights and white flowers everywhere, Jake could see that from his position on the small wooden stage that had been set up for Bob – who had been a wedding officiant for a long time, since he was a judge of the peace – to perform the wedding ceremony.
Agitation was digging into Jake like a knife, tearing his stomach to pieces and leaving him with such shaking hands that he had to keep them in his pockets to keep them from swinging too much.
Oh God, he was getting married.
And not to just any man, but to Bradley Bradshaw.
His detestable boss, the one who had been the sheer torment of his existence for three long years, and who Jake now saw advancing towards him, wrapped in a black suit that fit him perfectly, with Grandma Lucy on his arm, excited as Jake had seen her few other times in his entire life.
Bradley was so, so handsome, and honestly admitting it, at that moment, lifted a huge burden from Jake's shoulders.
Damn, Bradley was gorgeous, and Jake was going to marry him in front of everyone.
His heart started pounding again, as Jake clutched his shaking wrists and tried to take a much-needed deep breath.
Then Bradley stood in front of him, they stared at each other intently without saying a word, and Jake felt his eyes fill with real, sincere tears, his soul melting in disbelief.
Holy shit, in a matter of minutes that infuriating, stunning man would be his husband.
“Good afternoon, everyone,” Bob’s confident voice began from his place between Jake and Bradley; he was dressed in a dapper dark gray suit. “Today we are gathered here to celebrate one of the most important moments in human life, to witness the beauty and sincerity of the true love between Jake and Bradley in front of their family and friends.”
Jake let those words resonate inside him to the back of his mind, and from them he drew the final conviction that he really wanted to marry Bradley.
He would not let anyone push him away from him and he would do anything to allow Bradley to stay and live in the United States, no matter the cost.
It would not matter the price, Jake would gladly pay it for him.
But then Bradley looked at him with such sadness that it broke his heart and he did what Jake had hoped he would not do.
Bradley’s index finger rose into the air, interrupting Bob’s speech, and drawing all the attention to himself.
Please don’t do this, Bradley. Don’t do this, don’t do this... don’t throw everything away when we are so fucking close to getting what we need.
What you need.
But it was too late, and Jake felt the weight of everything that had happened in the last few days crash down on him like an earthquake.
“Yes, Bradley? What is it?” Bob asked doubtfully, incredulous at the interruption.
Although he had been suspicious at first about their relationship, he had softened as the days passed, even agreeing to be the wedding officiant – much to the delight of his wife Natasha.
“I have to say something. And I have to say it now, I’m sorry,” Bradley said, his voice as unyielding as iron.
Jake only had the strength to call his name once before closing his eyes and waiting for the catastrophe to hit them both.
God, he was going to kill him in twenty different ways as soon as he finished this fucking show in front of everyone.
“Forgive me, Jake, with all my heart,” Bradley whispered to him before turning to all the people filling the barn and who Jake, opening his eyes, saw were staring at him in shock.
Jake’s gaze fell on his mother, his father, his grandmother, Natasha, Mr. Cain: their faces were painted with various emotions, ranging from shock and surprise to satisfaction at having caught a lie.
Jake wanted to die right then, knowing how much he had just disappointed everyone he loved most, and he really hoped that the barn floor would open up and drag him down into the deepest depths of the Earth.
“Hello everyone, thank you for being here today. I have a little announcement to make about this wedding,” Bradley began, and Jake wanted nothing more than to silence him.
With a punch, with a caress, with a kiss, with a kick... anything, damn it, to make him stop talking.
“In fact, it’s more of a confession than an announcement,” Bradley continued, while Jake saw his entire life falling apart with every word he said.
Why was he doing this?
Why?!
He really couldn’t understand it.
“Bradley, what are you going to do?” Jake asked imploringly, frozen in place as if solid roots had sprouted from his feet. “Stop it, please.”
The look Bradley gave him was so deeply hurt it was as sharp as a glowing blade being thrown into the exact center of his chest.
“I’m Canadian, you know? And my visa expired a while ago, so I was about to be deported from the United States. That would have meant the end of my professional life, and I didn’t want to leave this country... so I forced Jake to marry me, so I could continue living here,” Bradley announced, and Jake felt everything falling on him, crushing him with no way out.
He didn’t even know how he was breathing.
“That’s enough, shut up,” was all Jake tried to say to Bradley, but he just kept talking, oblivious to everything.
Because that’s what Bradley Bradshaw did: first he would lure you into his infernal plan, then he would push you to accept it, and then he would ruin it all without caring about Jake or anyone else but himself.
Like the selfish, detestable man he’d always been, dammit!
“It wasn’t that hard to convince him, Jake has the most amazing work ethic I’ve ever met in my entire life. For three years he worked harder than anyone else and I knew if I threatened to destroy his career, he would do anything for me.”
Bradley’s confession was like a hammer that continued to pound in Jake’s brain, affecting his entire existence.
He didn’t even have the strength to see the pure disappointment painted on his mother’s, his father’s, his grandmother’s faces... he had hurt them so badly, unforgivably.
“So I just blackmailed him. And I made him lie to all of you, to protect me. I thought it would be easy to stand by and watch, I thought it would be easy to marry him... but I just can't allow this. You are a wonderful family,” Bradley said, turning to Patricia, Martin, and Grandma Lucy, and Jake could clearly see tears rolling down his brown eyes. “This is all my fault, please don’t give Jake any responsibility for this mess, okay?”
Then Bradley turned his face to Jake and his devastated expression burned itself into Jake’s brain like a terrible nightmare.
“You and I had a deal and I promise I’ll uphold my end before I go back to Canada. I’m truly sorry, Jake.”
How dare this man say all these things to Jake when he had just ruined everything they had lied about?
How dare Bradley tell Jake that he was sorry when he had gotten him in such a reckless way in front of his family?
Jake was so shocked that he didn’t know what to do other than strangle him and then hold him so tightly that he wouldn’t ever let him go.
Bradley’s attention then turned to Mr. Cain, who was gloating with happiness at having guessed the truth about the two of them perfectly. “I’ll see you outside in a bit. We’ll go to the Austin airport and I’ll accept my responsibilities once we get back to San Diego, don’t worry.”
Then Bradley simply stepped off the small stage and flew away from Jake, from the barn, and from their wedding.
As if leaving all that mess behind was so easy for him, as if Jake meant nothing to him, as if everything they had shared in those days had meant nothing to him.
And Jake stood there, like a complete idiot, as he watched his family get up and walk toward him, demanding an honest explanation for everything that had just happened.
Why on earth would Bradley choose to do this to him in all good conscience, when they had been so close to the realization of everything they had both planned?
Why?
The excited voices of Mom, Grandma, and Dad overlapped in Jake's head, but he was no longer understanding a single thing around him.
He didn’t even know how much time had passed since Bradley had left, if he had managed to get a word out to his parents and Grandma Lucy, if he really cared about justifying himself to them and the world for a series of actions he had consciously decided to take.
Everything was muffled, as if Jake had his head submerged under water and his reasoning skills were completely nullified.
Bradley had tried to relieve him of his clear personal responsibilities when he had announced to everyone that their relationship was a sham, but Jake had fully been his accomplice and he had taken his side of the bargain until the end.
Hell, he had done it by showing up at the altar dressed to the nines, more than ready to put a wedding ring on his finger and introduce him to the world as his husband.
“Jake, how could you lie to us like that?” Mom Patricia asked him, her voice angry and disappointed. His father Martin was at his side, so shocked he couldn’t even speak anymore.
Grandma Lucy, on the other hand, had a strange look on her face and the only question she was constantly asking him was just one. “What did you think you were doing, my dear grandson?”
Finally, at some point, Jake broke free from the catatonic state he had fallen into after being dumped by the most insufferable and extraordinary man in the entire universe and managed to speak.
“We'll talk about this later, I am so sorry... I’ll explain everything to you, I swear. But right now I need to speak to Bradley urgently,” was all Jake whispered before walking past the small crowd that had gathered around the small box and running off towards the Seresin house as if his ass was on fire.
Jake’s legs ached from running like crazy toward the bedroom he and Bradley had shared for the past few days, and he almost felt his knees buckle as he climbed the stairs.
Yet he managed to resist and enter the room, unfortunately finding it empty.
Jake’s anger took over instantly, making him see everything red in front of him as if he were a mad bull.
Bradley was gone and it looked like he had never even been there.
His bags were gone, not a single trace of him in Jake’s life left except for the wedding suit he had left on the bed, the cufflinks his grandmother Lucy had given him, and a handwritten note addressed to Jake himself.
Thank you for everything. I hope you have a wonderful life, God knows you deserve it.
Bradley
Jake wished he had Bradley in front of him so he could make him chew and swallow that note.
Footsteps approached Jake just then and he turned to see Natasha and Bob coming into the room to him.
They both looked tense in his presence, as if they were dealing more with a wounded animal than a grown man.
And that was exactly what Jake felt: deeply hurt by what Bradley had done to him in front of everyone he knew.
It wasn’t even the burning humiliation of being abandoned before getting married that was driving him crazy, but the idea that he had trusted Bradley completely for the first time ever and he... he had turned his back on him like that.
As if Jake had been yet another person in his life who would leave him alone, not when he had spent the last days of their lives proving to him with incontrovertible facts that he would never be able to do that to him.
“Well, in town we'll talk about this day for at least the next three generations,” Natasha began, as she walked over to Jake and put a comforting hand on his arm.
Bob stood on the other side, his usual searching look on his face, before opening his mouth and asking Jake just one question.
“You okay, buddy?”
That simple three-word sequence made Jake literally explode, as if an atomic bomb had been detonated in his head.
“No, my friends. I’m not okay, at all,” he said, his mouth thick with indignation. “This man has been the biggest thorn in my side since the first moment I met him, believe me. First he drives me crazy at work, treating me like his personal servant... then the whole visa thing comes up. Then he decides to set up a fake relationship between us to save his ass and pressure me into marrying him!” Jake could feel his voice shaking, but he didn’t care much.
He had his oldest and dearest friends by his side—he could afford to look shocked with them.
“And then, after that confession in the barn, he just walks off like this... with a stupid note, because he doesn’t even have the human decency to say all of this to my face after everything he’s done. Three years! I’ve been working for... for this terrorist for three years!” Jake shouted, his inhibitions completely gone.
He just felt mortified, humiliated, as if Bradley had never understood anything about him.
Jake thought he was a total idiot towards a person who was capable of leaving him there alone in front of his family and everyone he knew.
“He has never, ever, paid me a compliment. Never a word of appreciation from him, even though I’ve always worked my ass off for him! And then he- he rattles out bullshit... I hate him! We had a fucking agreement between us... My God, Bradley Bradshaw drives me completely nuts like no one else on the entire face of the Earth,” was his heartfelt conclusion as he took the note his almost-husband had written him and crumpled it between his fingers angrily.
After a couple of seconds, Natasha’s voice rang right in his ears.
“So, what are you going to do, Jake? Are you going to let him walk away from you?”
And Jake’s next answer was the most sincere he’d said in the last few days of his life.
“Fuck no.”
So he hurried out of that room, went to get his parents and Grandma Lucy—who had arrived downstairs in the meanwhile—and they quickly piled into their dark blue Chevy, so Jake flew towards Austin-Bergstrom airport, praying to God and all the gods in heaven that he could reach Bradley before it was too late.
The thirty-mile drive from Lockhart to Austin was the longest of Jake’s entire life.
The agony he felt in those moments was excruciating, and the nerves of waiting for Bradley before marrying him—or, rather, thinking about marrying him—had been a walk in the park by comparison.
In the car, silence reigned between him, his mother, his father, and his grandmother—all that could be heard was the engine and the tires squealing on the asphalt. No one dared to open their mouths, also because no one even knew what to say in general about what had just happened.
It was as if Jake’s nervous energy, gripping the steering wheel as if his entire existence depended on it, was all curled up inside his chest, waiting to ignite at the first spark.
He had to find Bradley, he had to talk to Bradley and tell him that he –
When, finally, finally, damn it, he saw the airport appear, Jake pulled up to the curb in front of the departures gate, let his grandmother out on his arm, and then flew in with his mother, handing the car over to his father, waiting to figure out which gate Bradley’s plane to San Diego would leave from and at what time.
But he never did.
As the three of them checked the electronic departures board, Jake saw with his own eyes that the gate for that flight had closed half an hour earlier – Christ, he’d wasted too much time at home, he knew it! – and that the plane in question was literally flying right over their heads in the sky right now.
His race against time had been completely useless, damn it.
“No, no, no!” was the shouted and frustrated chant that came out of Jake's mouth, demoralized and desperate as ever, as he continued to stare at those relentless words on the screen.
Bradley had left, and he hadn’t been able to find him, stop him and talk to him. Jake hadn’t been able to tell him that -
“I’m so sorry you couldn’t talk to Bradley!” exclaimed Grandma Lucy, as she patted Jake’s back to console him.
But by now his head was full of a thousand different thoughts again and he didn’t even know what he could do other than stand there like a fool in front of the departures board.
Then, at a certain point, he couldn’t even calculate after how much time, Martin also approached that trio who were still there, immobilized and petrified.
“I’d say it went badly... didn’t it?” he asked his mother and his wife, while Jake couldn’t articulate a single word anymore.
“Unfortunately, yes, we’re late. Bradley has already left for San Diego,” Patricia whispered sadly.
Then, Grandma Lucy’s shrill voice drowned out everything as usual – God, that woman’s vitality was incredible. “And Jake couldn’t tell him that he loves him, what a shame!”
“So Bradley could tell him that he loves him back,” Patricia replied heartily.
Jake was listening to his family, but he was still so shocked and breathless that he didn’t even have the strength to tell them how right they were... at least as far as he was concerned.
Because Jake loved Bradley.
He loved him so much, with all the strength of his heart, and he had only realized it when he was alone without him and without all the future he had begun to imagine with him.
Martin's shocked tone penetrated Jake's ears. "But then why did he say all those things and leave Jake at the wedding?"
A snort came out of Patricia and Grandma Lucy's mouths at the same time.
"If he didn't love him, he wouldn't have left that way and taken all the responsibility for what had happened," Grandma Lucy said, wise as ever.
Jake was so lucky to have such an incredible family by his side... the greatest blessing of his life.
"He did it because he couldn't tolerate having something that he feared might be a lie based on an agreement without any feelings involved," Patricia concluded before touching her son's shoulder and pushing him to look at her.
Jake had no idea what expression he might have on his face, but it was certainly devastated... because that was how he felt in his heart at that moment.
Then, his father's huge hand also caressed his face, and Jake felt overwhelmed by the love of the most important people in his existence.
"I'm so sorry, son. Now let's go home... you'll see that everything will be okay between you and Bradley, I feel it."
Jake thought he would feel a mixture of extreme emotions entering Mitchell & Kazansky Publishing offices after that absolutely crazy weekend shared with Bradley that had turned his life upside down.
But the extremes that were inside his soul were actually two: a huge desire to see his mustached face again, because he had missed Bradley so much in the last twenty-four hours, and then a furious anger as big as Texas for the way he had run away from him without addressing things between them.
Because Jake's mum and grandmother were right—Bradley loved him too, and that scared the shit out of him, apparently thinking that Jake didn’t feel anything for him, when, as a matter of fact, Jake was completely crazy for him and that was painfully obvious to the world except for Bradley himself.
And God, that made him furious and happy at the same time.
Those were the magical consequences of being in love with someone as frustratingly wonderful as Bradley Bradshaw.
Jake ran quickly down the hallway on his floor and saw a series of boxes full of books and stationery stored outside Bradley’s office, which looked like it had been torn apart by a tornado.
Inside, Bradley was there, filling yet another box with a thousand different things, with a tight black shirt on that hugged his muscular shoulders and his handsome face tired as never before.
Jake didn't even bother knocking on his transparent glass door; he entered Bradley's office and cleared his throat, attracting his attention.
“Bradley,” he breathlessly said.
Bradley's gaze hardened as soon as he saw him, and his brown eyes turned into two very dark and flashing ambers.
“Jake? What are you doing here? And why are you out of breath?” Bradley asked sarcastically as he continued to collect books upon books on his desk, as if Jake were a ghost whose presence didn't matter to him.
But by now Jake had discovered his little game and knew what was hidden behind his apparently detached way of treating him.
After those days spent together, their secret pillow talks, and the intimacy they had established between them, the love that had blossomed between them in opposition to any logic or common sense was the only key Jake needed to understand the behavior of the annoying and magnificent man who was finally a short distance away from him again.
“Because I ran all the way here,” was Jake’s simple, choking response.
He was no longer going to tolerate Bradley’s bullshit... they were on the same page and, even if they were both so fucking terrified, he couldn’t allow what they had found on their weekend in Texas to not become a daily reality that could last forever.
“You ran all the way here from Texas?” was Bradley’s sardonic response, still focused on the things in his office and not on Jake.
Jake approached him and simply whispered a sentence.
“I need to talk to you.”
Bradley continued doing what he was doing without paying attention to him, as if Jake were a nuisance, but Jake would never leave that damn office without him.
“I don’t have time, believe me, for any conversation between us. I have to clear out the office before lunch, go home and get my bags, and then go to the airport... I have a flight to Toronto at five-thirty pm, and I still have to—”
“Bradley!” Jake shouted, and only then the other man froze and looked at him.
It was like watching animals on his ranch when they knew they were going to the slaughterhouse and would die in a short time: Bradley’s brown eyes were so scared that Jake’s heart tightened in his chest.
He wanted to love Bradley, he wanted that fear to vanish from his life forever and leave room only for bliss and unbridled joy.
“I just have to tell you one thing. I promise it’ll only take a second, okay?” Jake said before taking a deep breath and finally letting out all the feelings he’d been bottled up in his heart for days. “Up until three days ago, I hated you, Bradley. And I’m not kidding. I really hated you... I was hoping you’d get poisoned during a work dinner, or a bus would hit you on the way to work.”
Disbelief spread across Bradley’s face, offended by his words.
“Fuck, that’s really sweet of you to say all these kind things to me.”
“Shut up, I’m not done yet!” Jake exclaimed, his heart beating so fast that blood was drowning his eardrums. “Then we went to Texas and everything changed for me. From that first kiss, I-”
Jake would probably never have been able to explain through language what that wonderful kiss had meant to him. He would have had to invent new words to make Bradley understand.
“It was like seeing you for the first time in my life. A new Bradley Bradshaw... one I never realized existed beneath your armor and all the effort you put into making the rest of the world, especially me, despise you. Then you told me about your tattoo and where your scars came from, and I realized you were a truly amazing man. And I just wanted to hold you all night and make you realize you weren’t alone anymore... you had me. You’ve always had me, by your side.”
Jake’s heartfelt words were having an effect on Bradley, he was seeing with his own eyes how much his feelings were reciprocated.
He just had to keep going, try to make him understand that he wanted him more than anyone in the entire universe and that no one would ever be as precious to him as Bradley was.
“The problem was, I spent days suppressing my feelings for you, and then everything came crashing down when I found myself alone, in a barn, without a husband. Without you, Bradley... can't you see?”
Bradley’s nodded his curly head, but he didn’t open his mouth to reply.
There was no problem for Jake in that regard; he knew enough words to be able to try to convince him for a thousand years straight of how much he loved him.
“I don’t think you can imagine my deep disappointment when I realized that the man I love is about to be thrown out of the United States without me being able to do anything about it. So here I am, in your office, asking you to marry me. Marry me, Bradley, because I want you,” Jake concluded heartily, leaning ever closer to Bradley and placing his shaking hand reverently on his smooth, fragrant jaw.
Jake was offering his throbbing, bleeding heart on a silver platter right now for Bradley. He could have chopped it up and feasted on it if he wanted to, but he was pretty sure that his heart would be perfectly safe in his hands for a long, long time.
Bradley’s eyes, those beautiful little brown suns that lit up everything around them, filled with tears, and Jake felt a pang in his chest because of it.
“Trust me, Jake... you don’t want me,” Bradley whispered, settling into the tiny space between their faces.
“I do, Bradley. And I will happily spend every day of my life proving it to you, if you give me the chance. Because I know you feel the same way about me,” Jake said, more certain than he had ever been in his life.
He knew that he loved his family, that he loved his job, and that he loved Bradley. Those were the three North Stars that guided his path.
Jake couldn’t live without Bradley anymore... he needed him like oxygen.
“I’ve been alone for so long,” Bradley began, his voice cracking like the shards of a smashed mirror.
Jake just wanted to grab him, wrap him in his arms, and never let him feel that way again.
No one deserved to be alone, and Bradley was worthy of all the love the world could offer him. He was absolutely worthy of all the feelings Jake had for him, even if he felt inadequate for fear of abandonment.
“There’s a reason I am. I... I’m fine, Jake. I’m fine being alone, trust me. It would be better for you if I disappeared, went back to Canada like I’m supposed to be, and you forgot about me forever.”
Jake’s head shook at every single word that came out of Bradley’s mouth.
He had never heard such bullshit in his entire life.
“Let’s say you’re right, it would be easier for both of us. That’s fine, Bradley. But you know, deep down, that what we shared is the truest thing you and I have ever felt... we are in love with each other. And you can put a million miles between us, that fact will never change,” Jake declared, the jade of his eyes piercing Bradley’s chocolate.
At one point, Jake’s fingers picked up a furtive tear that was marking its passage on Bradley’s face, wiping it away with the whole tenderness of his heart and resting his forehead on the other man’s.
A sigh from Bradley broke the air around them, in the bubble that had formed between their bodies.
“I’m fucking scared, Jake. You have no idea how scared I am,” was Bradley’s heartbreaking confession and Jake did nothing but hold him even tighter, imprisoning him in the sweet cage of his welcoming arms.
“I’m gonna tell you a secret, Bradley: I’m scared too, but I love you more than my own fears,” Jake declared before pressing his lips to Bradley’s and making them his in the deepest, most heartfelt kiss of his life.
That touch was like coming home, it was like traveling the whole galaxy, it was like living a thousand lives in a single second.
Kissing Bradley was the most exhilarating experience Jake had ever had, and he didn’t stop until he’d taken every last bit of oxygen from his lungs with his own tongue.
Then, when they both had to break apart to breathe, Bradley laughed heartily—the most beautiful sound in the world, one Jake swore he’d make sure to hear every second of every day—and he held Jake close with such boundless happiness that Jake could feel it right on his skin.
“When are you going to get down on one knee and ask me to marry you properly?” Bradley asked, a playful, hilarious expression on his devastatingly handsome features.
Jake wanted to see him only ever like this: happy, happy, happy.
“Darlin', the way you kissed me was already your yes,” Jake replied in amusement before diving back into Bradley’s lips, never to let go again.