Chapter Text
The soft sounds of a pencil scratching at a notebook filled the master bedroom. Xeno sat propped up among the pillows, and bathed in the soft ambient light of his bedside lamp. The bulb buzzed with quiet resentment for being on as the night hours ticked by. The silken crimson sheets wrapped him up with the quiet promise of a good night’s sleep that eluded the doctor.
“Ohohoho~,” Xeno chuckled to himself as a small wave of excitement caused his hand to jot down his thoughts quicker. “If I make the flight simulation blow this diode here, it will cause a chain reaction. If the guys in the Mission Operations Control Room don’t deal with this complication quick enough, they could hit a catastrophic failure in mere minutes.” The NASA scientist tittered to himself as the excitement of his new project kept his exhaustion at bay. “I’ll make those guys regret ever letting me plan out a simulation. This will have everyone in the MOCR crying like babies by the end of this simulation.”
A dastardly smile lit his face as he leaned in closer to the notebook, quickly listing all the consequences for the failure of one simple diode. That tiny issue was only one in a grocery list of other sadistic failures that he planned to pile onto the men in Mission Control.
Xe, you gotta go to sleep. The words caught Xeno off guard as he snapped his head from the lined notebook paper that had consumed his world for the past few hours. His room slowly came into focus, the shapes denoting his furniture evolved in detail until his mind was fully in the moment. He peered at the left side of the bed, where Stanley slept. The sheets were pulled taunt and neatly tucked in, barely ruffled by Xeno’s pull on them from his own side.
His lips dipped as he skimmed over his room, their room. Stanley had left for an overseas mission and wasn’t expected to be back for several months. In his absence, the room seemed intimidatingly large. It was easier to escape into the small 8.5 by 11 inch white box when he was by himself. In the world of blue lines atop a clean white board eagerly awaiting to receive his thoughts, Xeno felt less alone.
His husband’s imagined voice made an annoyingly prominent point. It was long since a reasonable time to retire and yet the doctor was still wide awake. He shuffled his work onto the overcrowded bedside table; it was a distasteful display of his current state of mind. The solitude was nothing new to the couple, and Xeno would say he’s gotten quite used to the stress of never knowing where his husband is or how he is. The confidence exuded by the blond marine leaked into Xeno’s own heart, readily accepting that if Stanley says he’ll be home, then come hell or high water that man would make it back alive. Nonetheless, Xeno often found himself enduring long bouts of insomnia during these times.
Loose, darkened skin that showed his lack of sleep was nothing new to the doctor. He lived off of coffee and was driven to perform perfectly out of spite towards others. However, coffee and spite weren't working. The bags under his eyes only grew day by day. Xeno lifted his glasses so that he could rub the bleariness from his eyes. No, there was an added stressor that was eating him alive every second he dared to relax.
Down the hall, behind nothing more than a meager wooden door, lay his ward. It had been several months since he adopted Senku and flown him in to live with him, offering the boy the key to a bright future; his path lined in shimmering golden stones set by Xeno and Stanley. His heart sped up as if he had taken a shot of adrenaline. A pale hand unconsciously rested against the silk pajama top that clothed his chest, trying to calm his heartbeat.
Senku was something magnificent. His mind was on a whole other level compared to the average sniveling masses. That boy was smart enough to keep up with Xeno’s lectures and theories, even asking meaningful questions as the NASA scientist ranted. That level of intellect had gained Xeno’s interest to begin with, but what made him truly weak was something deeper; something far sexier than any normal person could flaunt. A heat flushed Xeno’s face as he dared to think about what he knew he shouldn’t: Senku was transgender.
A shiver crept up Xeno’s spine, clawing at each vertebrae on its ascent. Every nerve in his body turned to ice, as if the Arctic tundra emerged atop his own flesh. Senku proved to be deadly in looks just like Stanley was, at least Xeno thought so. He held the perfect balance of feminine and masculine features that drove Xeno wild.
The two problems that plagued Xeno clashed in an unstoppable apex. Xeno was now left alone with the boy he had adopted and had been slowly manipulating to fall in love with him and Stan. It was so much easier to keep his hands off that bright kid when he had someone else to sate his cravings. It had only been two weeks, but Xeno knew he was at his wit’s end. An anxious need to move overwhelmed him as his leg bounced and fingers twitched. Whatever exhaustion had been whispering in his ear had left him once again.
“Might as well try some warm milk,” Xeno yielded. Even if it didn’t make him tired, it would at least give him something to do; something else to think about. He left the warmth of his bed and grabbed at his bathrobe, noting an unfortunate protrusion. The thrill of imagining how beautiful that boy must be outside of his clothes left a physical effect on Xeno. The doctor took a steadying breath to quell his heart before stepping out of the large chamber that was his bedroom.
_____
Senku groaned in frustration as he threw his pillow against the wall. He found himself unable to sleep thanks to a growing need burning him from below. Living with those two stupidly-hot old men was going to drive him up a wall. The itch on his skin had started like grass against his ankles: easy to ignore or even pleasant given the circumstances. His days living here turned to weeks and the itch continued. Like poison oak against his abdomen, he couldn’t ignore how bad it felt to ignore it. He couldn’t subdue the pain either. Those weeks turned into months and the itch consumed every inch of his body. No attempt made at curbing his needs offered the slightest relief.
Senku fell back against the rumpled sheets, half torn off his bed by another helpless night. A shaky hand flit through his platinum blond locks, wishing that the heat that scorched his skin would give him just one night of respite. His thighs pressed together, legs moving slightly trying to give his growing need for sexual relief some friction to quiet it.
Anger marred his face as Senku threw a hateful look at the discarded pillow, sadly slumped against the floorboard. The boy had fallen back to the tried and true method of grinding against his pillow for that sweet pleasure that could send him to heaven. He needed the hormones to balance out and reset, leaving him less bothered. Just like all the nights before, it didn’t help. Pillow humping no longer worked for him. All it did was agitate him further, stirring up the arousal but never tipping him over the edge, no matter how hard he tried.
There was only one thing he could do, but he dreaded it. Uncertain hands hooked the elastic band on his underwear before slowly pulling them down, exposing his most hated part to the empty room. An uncomfortable wetness left a slimy trail down his legs and lower lips. Just the feeling was nauseating. He could guess how the rest of this experiment would go, but science demands verification. Senku swallowed thickly as he closed his eyes. He didn’t want to risk accidentally seeing his vagina in the mirror that was affixed to the wall opposite him. Senku took a deep breath as he committed to what he was about to do.
A hand, vibrating with disgust, hovered closer and closer to that soaked organ. His eyes clenched tighter as he tried to imagine something else. Would it repulse him as much if it was someone else touching him? His heart buzzed; be it from excitement or disgust, Senku didn’t know.
Cold, spindly fingers brushed against the skin just north of his slit, testing the waters. He clung helplessly to the idea that it wasn’t his hand. It belonged to someone who wasn’t repulsed by his body being wrong. That hand belonged to someone who made him feel confident in his gender identity.
Tears bubbled up at the corners of his eyes, daring to breach his eyelids as his fingers slid further and further south. He could feel the fluids, cooled by the ambient temperature of the room, cling to him. Disgust rose in his chest as he pushed on.
“You’re perfect as you are,” a disembodied voice whispered in Senku’s imagination. It was uncharacteristically low as if trying to tease a reaction out of the teen. “You’re stunning, even down here.” Senku’s fingers flicked around the small bulb hidden at the top of his slit. He swallowed heavily. Just that small bit of indirect contact seemed to set him on fire. It was as his finger flicked at the sensitive flesh again that he realized this is what he’d been craving. More disgust filled his chest, like a drowned man breathing in water. Like overripe plums, his tears grew too heavy and fell from their perch, leaving small trails of salt residue on his cheeks.
Senku mentally chastised himself for being so illogical about it all. He was a boy, even if he was born without something dangling between his legs. His body tensed painfully as he dared to continue, egged on by that imaginary picture. Shaky shoulders jumped in surprise as a second set of imagined hands touched him. Strong, heavy, tanned hands rested on his shoulders.
The Senku from his fantasy looked up at the distraction that was the radiant beauty of Stanley Snyder. He wore a look Senku had seen only once before, it was unnervingly soft. Small valleys of sincerity wrinkled his face as he wore that loving smile. Senku’s heart throbbed just imagining it. He would undoubtedly kill over if the real man looked at him that way.
The need that plagued Senku for the last few months finally dulled to a pleasant crackling, like a fire pit at a winter cabin. He actually liked the feeling of the warmth resting in his bones. His fingers pushed on, circling around his clitoris.
Despite the enjoyable scenario he was fantasizing, he couldn’t quell the sick feeling rising up. Senku’s stomach flipped as his fingers brushed against the sensitive bulb once again. Reassuring words spilled freely from fantasy Xeno’s lips.
There was a sudden prick of pain, like getting a thorn in his foot. Short eyelashes fluttered open as his touch proved to be too potent. His fingers had traveled too close to the sensitive bundle of nerves; unused to direct stimulation. In that single second, cherry red eyes latched onto the mirror at the foot of his bed. Senku snapped his eyes closed, desperate to not take in the details that were on full display. It was too late, the image of himself, splayed out and naked from the waist down had burned itself into his mind. He had been forced to acknowledge the one part he had been avoiding.
“Nnngh-GAAAH!” Frustration pushed him to his limits as that horrible wail made it past his lips. His nose dripped watery mucus as his tears flowed freely. His body seized and a darkness overtook the fantasy Xeno and Stanley.
Senku found himself alone in a sea of viscous black ink. His mind and body were on overdrive as the fears and doubts he kept inside himself washed over him. Like a drowning person, the swirl of emotions clung coldly to him, dragging him down. More tears and sobs were pulled from him, unable to stop his hand from moving, and unable to stop his mind from running full force into a brick wall.
_____
A glass of warmed milk sat neglected in between a pair of hands that were nearly as white as the liquid. Slender fingers leisurely brushed against the crystal cup, taking in the warmth against the slight tinge of autumn night chill that invaded the house. Old habits die hard and Xeno was prattling on to an empty table. He was reciting the work he had been doing in bed and explaining it in detail to the phantoms accompanying him in the oversized kitchen. A heavy loneliness filled the room, his only companion was the soft yellow light from the stove’s overhead.
The unwitnessed lecture dribbled off of Xeno’s lips as he heard a noise disturb his silent classroom. The doctor stilled, lips now sealed as he waited to confirm that he had heard a real voice this time. Sure enough, another muffled noise vibrated through the still air.
He couldn’t help but chuckle to himself as a smile pulled at his thin lips. It seemed he wasn’t the only one up at this hour. Of course he could count on Senku to share a few too many traits with him. No doubt, the kid was wrapped up in some exciting study or experiment demanding his undivided attention. Xeno’s thumb strummed against the ribs of the glass he held as he recalled his own childhood. How many nights had he spent burning the proverbial midnight oil, unable to rest until he procured satiable answers?
Another, clearer noise made his smile falter. What he had first mistaken for hushed excitement had risen in volume, revealing the distress in the noise. Another sob leaked through the otherwise quiet air of night. A pain tore into Xeno’s heart as he listened to the rising distress in his mentee’s cries. There was an innate need to protect, to comfort, and soothe. His more rational side kept him seated. It was best to let his ward feel out his emotions in the privacy of his own space, free from imagined judgment of others.
Instinct won out as the continued bawling displaced the serene night. Xeno shuffled over to the teen’s door, hand hesitating to knock as he leaned in closer to listen. No words were heard, only anguish. Snow white knuckles rapped against the cool-toned wooden door. He hated to interrupt what may be a much needed, private, vent session, but the tone stirred worry in his own heart.
“Senku?” Xeno called out as he knocked once more. The crying continued with no acknowledgement. He tried one last time to get the teen’s attention, only to fail. He stood coldly on the outside of the door. Was it best to leave it be? He hated to intrude on the boy’s inner sanctum, but the lack of response and rising torment only mounted the shaking fear within him. “Senku, I’m going to open the door,” he finally decided, giving him ample time to respond.
A few seconds passed as the crying continued. Xeno finally steadied himself and twisted the knob. He pushed the door open slowly, cracking it enough to be easily noticed but not enough for him to peer in. He wanted to give his ward one last chance to stop the intrusion. It hadn’t been clear before just how loud the boy had been crying until the last obstacle was removed. The volume alerted Xeno and pushed him to finally enter.
Xeno had been faced with many stressful situations and had a natural inclination to take charge, leading whole teams to react quickly. This was the first time in his life where he found himself faltering. Seconds ticked by as he took in the whole situation.
Before him lay Senku, twisting and writhing with sweat dotting his smooth skin. One hand was balled up in an unruly shirt, loosely clinging to his lithe frame, and the other snaked further down to his exposed nether regions. Without meaning to, Xeno’s dark eyes rested on the hand stroking at the sensitive area, vigorously and rough. A stunned silence beset the man as his mind raced as fast as his heart did.
Just like with NASA’s mission control room, seconds mattered. His ability to think professionally had overridden everything else. Dark eyes, stained by sleeplessness and stress, picked out the important components to worry about in this unexpected situation. Senku’s face was pained, tears swelled and fell soaking his skin and the sheets that twisted underneath him. A sheen of sweat glossed his skin yet goosebumps pricked at it. Some gut feeling pushed him to conclude that this wasn’t just the boy’s preference.
“Senku,” Xeno called again, entering the room and slowly moving towards the bed, not wanting to spook him. “Senku, can you hear me?” His ward didn’t respond. He was far too wrapped up in whatever was plaguing him.
Thanks to having seen something similar from Stanley, Xeno was able to recognize the tell-tale signs. Though it seemed like the boy was father gone than Stan usually was. “Senku, I think you’re having a PTSD episode,” Xeno calmly noted. Several passages from books about how to handle post traumatic stress disorder came back to him as he moved closer, slowly, soothingly talking to his mentee the whole while.
“It’s alright. You’re safe, Xeno is here to help you,” he announced cautiously as he sat on the edge of bed, mattress sinking slightly. He made sure each movement he made was deliberately unhurried, giving Senku plenty of time to process it. “Xeno’s here with you. We’re in your bedroom. Can you feel your sheets?”
Seldom did Xeno see his husband so far gone. He knew it was important to help ground Senku and pull him out of whatever spiral he had been consumed by. It proved to be difficult with how tightly the boy’s eyes were clenched shut. He would have to rely on stimulating the teen’s other senses. Xeno continued to coo his reassurances as he spoke at length about the feeling of the sheets against their exposed skin, about the soft chill in the air between them, and about the creaking of the bed frame under the teen’s relentless movements. It didn’t seem to help as the boy was stuck in his mind.
“Senku, I’m going to touch your arm,” Xeno announced as his hand slowly, cautiously, skimmed up his ward’s arm. Fingernails scratched lightly at the flesh before he placed more pressure on him, letting the weight of his hand sink in and warm him. “Senku, you’re okay. We’re in your bedroom, tucked away in our house, undisturbed by anyone or anything else.”
Senku’s other hand slowed as his muscles started to relax. Xeno caressed the boy’s arm, rubbing reassuring circles against it. He kept talking softly; calmly guiding Senku back to the moment. Several minutes passed as the boy’s body released its tension and let him finally open his eyes. Wet ruby irises latched onto Xeno’s own. “I’m here with you.”
“Xeno?” Senku questioned as wavering eyes jumped around trying to process what he was seeing.
“That’s right,” Xeno hummed. “I’m here to help. Do you hear me? Can you understand me?” Senku shakily nodded, sobs still hiccuping from him. “Good. I want you to breathe with me. Can you do that? Breathe nice and slow.” Once again, Senku nodded his understanding and the NASA engineer started counting rhythmically, like a metronome, as he made an exaggerated show of exhaling. The two of them quietly watched one another as they took in and let out air at a crawling pace.
The pair fell silent as time ticked by, Senku collected himself all the while Xeno continued to rub gentle circles against his arm. “Thanks,” the smaller scientist said as he finally found his voice.
“Hmm,” Xeno hummed in response. “Do you need to talk about it?”
Senku sat up, pulling his arms and legs closer to his center, putting up both a mental and physical wall to the idea only to find a disgusting slime coating his thighs and hand. Displeasure snaked up his spine as venomous fangs gouged his heart. Senku wanted to crack some half-hearted joke and play the whole thing off. He wanted to sweep his episode under the rug and act like nothing happened. He wanted to save himself any further embarrassment but his mind was foggy and his body on fire.
“It hurts,” his voice was soft as fresh tears pricked the sides of his eyes. “I’ve - I’ve been burning up for so long. Nothing has been working.”
“Are you in pain?” Xeno asked as his eyes dared to sweep over the under-dressed teen. “Do we need to go to the hospital?”
“No, not that,” Senku quickly quelled that line of thought. His energetic burst brought Xeno’s attention back up to rest on the smaller boy’s face before having swept down below his shirt. “I…” Senku swallowed his pride as he dared to admit what he didn’t want to. “I’ve been dealing with hormones,” he started slowly.
“Puberty?” Xeno questioned, more to himself than Senku.
“No, well, yeah probably. But, it’s…” Senku stopped and took a couple deep breaths, feeling the anxiety spike in his chest once more. “I’ve been unsuccessfully dealing with my biological needs,” he chose his words carefully.
“Oh,” Xeno’s eyes drifted back down to the wet mess shining against Senku’s pale thighs, “oh.” Strands of string connected the dots on his mental pinboard as he soundlessly processed what Senku was telling him.
“Is this the first time,” Xeno asked, words dripping like a leaking faucet, “that you have been unsuccessful?”
“No,” Senku admitted in a mousy whisper. “It’s been ongoing. I don’t usually do… I can’t do it like this but nothing else has helped.” His heart pounded against the jail cell of his ribs, face flushing with tomato-red pigments.
“Toys?” Xeno questioned as he looked around the room. He knew that neither he nor Stanley had provided such items to the teen, but he wouldn’t put it past him to be creative, or just down right conniving enough, to get his hands on some. Inky eyes landed on the discarded pillow slumped sadly against the opposite wall. “No,” he answered his own question.
“No,” Senku confirmed.
“Then, we’ll procure you some.” Xeno shifted away from Senku. His head started whirling, trying to figure out what would be best to avoid this problem.
Surprise made Xeno turn his head from the forgotten pillow back to Senku as he felt hands encircling his receding arm. A tight grip stilled him. “It burns. I need relief and I can’t do it,” Senku cried out, streams flowing down his already reddened cheeks. “I wouldn’t ask if I wasn’t desperate,” he started.
A lump formed in Xeno’s throat as he realized where this was going. His heart jumped with elation at the proposal. He hadn’t anticipated being able to touch his ward like this so soon. He had planned out months, years even, of manipulation tactics to entice the boy, but now Senku was throwing himself at Xeno’s feet. He had to bite his tongue to keep a smile from crossing his face.
Senku crawled closer, his hands traveled up Xeno’s arm and held him captive just under his shoulder. It was best for the older man to feign disinterest. “Can’t you wait until tomor-”
“NO!” The outburst was louder than either of them had expected. Senku locked eyes with the NASA scientist, desperation drowning him. “Please, Xeno, I need to do something about this tonight or I’m going to go insane. I just can’t be the one touching… it.” The teen unconsciously started to grind his exposed crotch against Xeno’s hand after having pinned his arm between slick-soaked legs.
Xeno folded like an unsteady house of cards in front of a fan. His fingers flinched with false hesitancy, nails scratching lightly against the layer of fluid that clung to Senku’s thighs. The smell of his need made the older man dizzy. A shivering gasp left Senku’s lips as he responded to the light touch. The boy wrapped his arms tighter, pulling his chest against Xeno’s arm. His head leaned against the albino’s shoulder, lips parted by heavy breathing as the gasps continued. He couldn’t help but grind his hips against the hand caressing him.
Xeno swallowed thickly as he steadied himself. He twisted his hand so that his palm was seated against the boy’s labia. He rubbed it up and down the lips, hot with want. Sweat dotted Xeno’s forehead and his heart thumped louder than a thousand rocket engines roaring to life. The meat of his hand ground against the sensitive bulb dotting the top of the teen’s anatomy. A rolling moan met his efforts and only encouraged his incorrigible behavior.
Ivory teeth latched onto his tongue to stop Xeno’s own noises. His hand grew more and more wet as he continued to pet the warm entrance. His fingers dared to thread between Senku’s lips, brushing the inner labia, gently prodding the opening of his vagina. A hot breath tickled Xeno’s neck. Oh how he wished to draw more delicious noises from his ward. The strand of sanity he still clung to was fraying under sheer bliss.
Xeno dared to grind his palm into the clitoris, catching the hood more than the nerves directly; testing the waters. A pleased gasp accompanied a body shaking shutter as Senku’s fingernails bit into the robe adorning Xeno’s torso. The older scientist couldn’t help but repeat the action, earning him more beautiful music floating into his ears.
“How is it?” Xeno’s voice was lightly shaking from ecstasy.
“Good,” Senku breathed out, his hips pushing down against the man’s palm. “So good.”
“Mmm,” Xeno hummed his understanding. He continued twisting his palm against the cluster of nerves, as his fingers stroked either side of the teen’s vaginal entrance. The swell of natural lubricant flooding the space between Senku’s thighs filled the heated bedroom air with sexual noises. It only added to the dizzying pleasure that built up in the pair.
Senku picked up his pace, grinding against Xeno’s hand faster. Xeno followed suit and sped up his ministrations. Senku’s breath seared the flesh on his exposed neck, burning his very presence into the older man. Their hearts raced to a crescendo as Senku let out a loud moan. His body tensed and his hips stuttered. Xeno stilled his hand, letting the teen ride out his orgasm at his own speed.
His mentee’s thighs strangled his hand, pressing his fingers into the vaginal entrance, tips sliding effortlessly inside of it. Xeno’s eyes widened as he felt just how tightly his ward clenched around him, muscles spasming from the lingering orgasm.
Senku’s body finally relaxed, his arms dropped from their stranglehold on Xeno’s arm and the teen peeled away from his mentor. A blush and sweat painted his satisfied face. His mouth hung open, tiredly gulping down the heated air smelling of his release.
“Right,” Xeno awkwardly coughed as he stood up. “That should suffice for tonight, right?”
Senku gave a tired nod, exhaustion from several sleepless nights catching up to him. His body, now fully relaxed, collapsed against the mattress, leaving him to rest his eyes among the crumpled, wet sheets.
With his ward distracted, Xeno made his escape, offering a quick, “G’night,” as he shut the teen’s door behind him. His face flushed as his eyes danced around in a blur. He couldn’t believe his luck! His heart couldn’t be calmed as he rushed back to his own room, giddy with excitement. How he had stayed sane during the whole episode was beyond him, especially since he was fully lost to his own pleasure now. The smell of his ward clung to his wet hand as phantom breaths lingered against the sensitive skin on his neck. A wide smile broke out across his lips as he shut his own bedroom door behind him, legs giving out as he leaned back against the sturdy wood. He slid down to the thick carpeted floor. “You’re full of surprises, Senku,” he sang to the empty room.