Work Text:
It was chaos
And they were in serious trouble because of it.
Tudo foi culpa de Shang Qinghua.
The most beautiful thing about Shang Qinghua.
It was a normal day for Shen Yuan, and he was waiting for his friend to arrive at his house since the two had arranged to meet. Shang Qinghua would let him read the new chapter of PIDW that he drafted, everything was peaceful.
“Bro! I brought something that every man wants to have!” - The cheeky author arrived at Shen Yuan's house that day, very happy with a bag in hand.
Shen Yuan looked up from his kindle at his friend, leaving the device turned off.
"What? Dignity? Because I think you can’t do that even by selling your soul.”
“Geez, so bad bro! No! It’s even better!” - Shen Yuan let out a hiss at Shang Qinghua's statement, but the author didn't give himself time to process that strange speech, taking something out of the bag. - “I bought a label maker!”
“....It's stupid, but definitely every homeowner dreams of something like this.” - Maybe Shen Yuan was just a little influenced by the episode he recently saw of The Big Bang Theory with Sheldon tagging everything, but it seemed so satisfying...
“Okay, let’s label things!”
And that's how it all started.
The two sat together on the couch, anxiety and excitement with that thing bubbling inside them just thinking about everything they could label.
“Just type… And press the button! Ready!" - Following the instruction manual (just in case) they started printing labels.
“Kindle” - Shen Yuan labeled it first, and just in case, he placed another label underneath saying ‘belongs to Shen Yuan.’
Shang Qinghua wasted no time.
"Chair."
And then Shen Yuan - “Table.”
Shang Qinghua: “Mifrocone”
Shen Yuan frowned in realization, typing while looking at his idiot friend - “Wait, that’s spelled wrong!”
“I know, but isn’t it funnier this way?”
“You want to cause chaos!” - And then he pasted a 'hansmister' on Shang Qinghua's cheek, since the bangs prevented it from sticking to his forehead. - “Oops”
He realized he wrote it wrong, and before his friend could tease him for it, he quickly stuck another sticker on the window, saying “glass.”
Shang Qinghua did the excellent job of labeling the doorknob and door and Shen Yuan labeled the labels.
Okay, maybe it was stupid to tag your own foot, but it was fun! And Shang Qinghua tagged his ass saying “my king’s property”, so he was definitely dumber than Shen Yuan.
Labeling his computer as “my love” was Shang Qinghua's idea, and he wouldn't take responsibility for it. Not even for labeling your own glasses. Or for labeling Liu Qingge's sword as “Qingge uses his hands more on it than on me”.
(It was just a scientific hypothesis, he was curious to see his boyfriend's reaction when he saw this! It had nothing to do with other matters!)
Then Shen Yuan felt something being pressed on his arm and read “anti-fan”
Furious, he pasted Shang Qinghua with an ‘Author Hack’
“Maybe I should stick one on that guy you like. How about an “Ice King” for him?”
"What?! No! My king is too cool to be labeled like that!”
Shen Yuan closed his eyes, staring at his friend through the lenses before directly pasting Shang Qinghua's face with "I want to be fucked by Mobei-Jun"
He was also tagged with a “dirty mouth”, “cute twin”, “bad influence”, “nerd” and Shang Qinghua received the tags “anxious”, “polluted mind” and “Simp”.
“Hey, wouldn’t cattle be your brother-in-law? Yue Qi is definitely more deserving of this tag than me.”
“Hm… You’re right. Qi-ge is working in the office, Jiu-ge is taking a nap now.”
The two stared at each other for a few moments, the idea appearing in their minds almost as if they had telepathy.
They went through Shen Jiu's room first, labeling it “Dangerous animal - do not wake” over the sheet. Shen Yuan was even bolder by labeling his brother as “Jiu-ge is cool”, receiving looks that clearly called him crazy from Shang Qinghua.
He just shrugged and saved a special tag to plant on his brother when he woke up.
“Qi-ge~!” - Shen Yuan approached with an innocent smile. Yue Qi had headphones on while working on his laptop, so he was totally vulnerable. With an exchange of glances and smiles full of ulterior motives, Shen Yuan pressed both hands on Yue Qi's back, making his brother-in-law startle a little before taking off his headphones.
“Oh, A-Yuan. Sorry, I didn't hear you come in. Do you need something?”
“Actually, yes! You know, Qi-ge, Shang Qinghua bought something really cool and we're testing it out, you know?” - Yue Qi looked at his brother-in-law with a curious expression, finding Shen Yuan's tone much sweeter than usual, already realizing that the younger Shen twin was planning something.
That was when he turned around in time to grab Shang Qinghua's hand who was pressing his notebook. Frowning, Yue Qi noticed something pressed on his device.
“A-Yuan, this is for work, isn’t it a good idea for you guys to do some kind of b… Uh?” - Confused, Yue Qi read a label that wasn't there before, seeing it written “Shen Jiu doesn't like this” and couldn't contain the low laugh that escaped him, only to be surprised by a combined attack from the other two, feeling something be pressed on his forehead and chest. - "What…?!"
The two ran out of their office soon after, passing by a disheveled Shen Jiu who saw everything and was already furious with his younger brother.
“A-YUAN WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?!” - He shouted furiously, ready to give his brainless brother a few good slaps and a few more at his idiot friend. This was definitely Shang Qinghua's idea.
Shen Jiu had just woken up, confused about the commotion of his brother and his idiot friend around the house, and as they had both headed towards the office shared between Shen Jiu and Yue Qi, the scholar quickly went to see what the heck his brother was doing. getting ready.
Apparently, they stuck something to Yue Qi's forehead and his chest as well, Shen Jiu realized as he saw his fiancé turning to him, very confused.
“They tagged my laptop.” - Being without his contact lenses, Shen Jiu had to stay very close to his fiancé to be able to read what was on the sticker on Yue Qi's forehead.
It said “Shen Jiu’s Boyfriend”.
Unexpectedly, this actually made Shen Jiu smile.
“What does it say?” - Yue Qi asked, curious, hugging his fiancé while reading “jiu-ge is cool” and “Yue Qi's boyfriend, don't touch” written on it, making him open a wide, very satisfied smile, leaving a kiss on his boyfriend's shoulder . - “I think these labels are very correct.”
“Hm, despite the boldness I have to agree… It does you good to have a very obvious reminder that you have an owner.” - Shen Jiu murmured, pressing his long finger on the tag that was placed on Yue Qi's breasts. He loved how strong and muscular his fiancé was and was particularly jealous of others touching Yue Qi there.
His cheeky brother labeled it “Property of Shen Jiu, do not touch”.
Despite everything, those two touched his Qi-ge! Shen Jiu would tag their souls for this.
After stealing a kiss from his boyfriend, Shen Jiu returned to his room, only to notice through his contact lenses that the two brats had labeled his contact lens box, his forehead, his bed (It was written “Love nest of Qijiu”! Shen Jiu would hang someone), his plants, and even his wardrobe and drawers!
(Shen Jiu is going to kill his brother. And Shang Qinghua. Maybe he needs a shovel. Who knows, the two idiots labeled the instruments of his death.)
Meanwhile, when Liu Qingge arrived, he was immediately hugged by Shen Yuan, before his boyfriend pulled him in to plant several kisses over his beauty mark, making him very blushing for it. He didn't even have time to ask what those papers stuck to Shen Yuan were before he felt something being stuck to his face.
“‘Cute’, because this little dot in Qingge is really cute.” – Shen Yuan declared. Liu Qingge was always weak to how his boyfriend adored his beauty mark, and then Shang Qinghua labeled his fists with “Keep away from Shang Qinghua” and “Dangerous, stay away”
Liu Qingge just let his boyfriend start tagging him together with Shang Qinghua, and as soon as he saw an angry Shen Jiu walking in, Liu Qingge could have easily just walked out of a supermarket.
Like a fugitive commodity.
Even in his righteous fury, Shen Jiu couldn't help the laugh that escaped him when he saw the state of his pathetic brother-in-law. Of course, everyone was a little surprised to see Shen Jiu laughing, Shen Yuan was quite pleased with that, taking the opportunity to stick another tag on his brother.
‘Whoever makes Jiu-ge laugh will be happy’
This made Shen Jiu sober again, casting a smug look at Liu Qingge.
“You… You look ridiculous!” - Shen Jiu took a deep breath, casting sharp glances at his brother and his best friend. - “And you! Give me that!”
"What? Why?!" - Shen Yuan immediately protected the label maker, handing it over to Shang Qinghua.
“You two can’t be trusted to have something like this! And who said they could tag Qi-ge’s breasts?!”
“We were testing! We also tagged Qingge’s breasts!”
“And I intend, if I survive, to tag my king’s.” - Shang Qinghua added, trying to placate Shen Jiu's anger.
Naturally, Shen Jiu looked at the two of them as if they were complete idiots. Before trying to take the label maker away from Shang Qinghua.
With that, the cowardly hamster began to run desperately, protecting the labeler with his life. Shen Yuan was also running around trying to help his friend protect the label maker, and even Liu Qingge was involved in this story, keeping the label maker away from Shen Jiu (which earned him a few more curses, but he didn't care), before Yue Qi arriving seeing Shen Yuan now being the one running with the label maker.
Of course Yue Qi was going to help his fiancé, so without even a hint of remorse, he stopped Shen Yuan, giving Shen Jiu the opportunity to take said device.
Finally with that damn machine in his hands, Shen Jiu has already seriously thought about where to start sticking labels on Shen Yuan and Shang Qinghua, as well as actually properly labeling things at home (he had the right to have this little pleasure!) just to discover that…
“We ran out of stickers…” – Shen Jiu frowned, irritated. - “You idiots spent it all?!”
“I’m going to buy more ribbons!” - Shang Qinghua declared, already running to get his bag.
Taking advantage of this exit, Shen Yuan followed his friend, running along with him at full speed. Liu Qingge just looked at his boyfriend with a mix of amusement and affection in his stoic expression while Yue Qi held back his laughter.
“Should we let them know they still have the tags on?”
"No." - Shen Jiu responded immediately. - “They brought this on themselves. If they embarrass themselves, it’s their fault.”
All hell broke loose when Shen Yuan returned alone with several rolls of stickers, a new labeling machine, now with one for himself and one for Shen Jiu, and without Shang Qinghua, who bumped into Mobei in the store and as neither of them remembered to remove the tags… Well…
Mobei obviously saw the tag on his friend's ass, and Shang Qinghua returned with his ideal man to his apartment.
Fortunately, Shen Yuan returned in time to see his boyfriend's reaction to the tag he placed on the sword.
Even with all those labels, it was very easy to see the red rising on Liu Qingge's stoic face, and when he saw Shen Yuan there staring at him, he quickly pulled him into the room, leaving a label on the door stating that the two were not to be disturbed. .
He would use his hands exactly where Shen Yuan wanted.