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"Wow, Veronica, you look like shit."
A soft groan emerged from the shadowed corners of the bedroom. A figure stood there, tugging clothes onto her body. She wore her school's varsity jacket over the old blue outfit she'd donned during senior year. For some reason, the girl never wound up getting rid of it, even with the scratches. A little memento.
"Shut up, Heather." Veronica Sawyer turned to face the slightly translucent girl in the center of her room, glaring with deeply tired eyes. The two were polar opposites. Heather Chandler looked regal and gorgeous, even without any makeup, even in the same ruby red bathrobe she'd been stuck in for god knows how long. Veronica looked like she'd carried hell on her back. Her eyes had bags that she was pretty sure were permanent by now, her hair was perpetually messy, and she seemed to emanate pure self loathing wherever she walked. People stayed away from Veronica now, like she'd always wanted. They were a bit scared of her. Despite the girl's tiny stature, she came off intimidating as all hell.
She'd really tried her best to be the demon queen of Westerburg, to make things right, to some degree. And they did get better. But Veronica got tired. Very tired. It was a wonder she made it to graduation.
"God, you never listen to me." Heather sighed, brushing a hand through dirty blonde hair. "I didn't know you were so committed to looking like a serial killer. You'd think it'd be in poor taste."
"..." Veronica ignored the ghost. Most of her specters had moved on after a bit. Kurt and Ram were the first to go. They got bored after a while. JD figured it'd be better for both of them if he moved on, accepted death, went peacefully into the great beyond. But Heather Chandler was nothing if not stubborn as hell.
She turned to her bedroom door, wiping a strand of hair out of her face. Heather watched her with the same judgemental frown she always did.
"What, you're actually going to wear that?"
"Yes, Heather."
"...You look like a creep. If I were her, I'd be worried for my safety."
"Doesn't matter how I look." Veronica pushed the door open. "Looks aren't everything, you know."
"They're at least 90%."
Veronica walked through her parents house for what would probably be the last time. She didn't track them down to say goodbye. She'd thought about it, but it wasn't worth the risk. She'd had enough of an emotional moment with them a week ago, during graduation, where they'd sobbed their eyes out. That'd do.
Her car awaited her outside. It was a worn out, beaten down thing (kind of like her, in a sense), but it worked. That was what mattered to Veronica. The engine sputtered to life a moment later, and she was on the road in a flash.
Her first stop was Westerburg. It'd be abandoned for the summer, left a silent monument of her senior year. She'd rather not be back there, but it was as good a meeting place as any.
"You are actually going, right?" Heather sneered in the backseat. "If you leave that poor girl in that football field I will personally-"
"I won't, I won't." Veronica sighed. "I wouldn't do that to her."
"Good. You nervous?"
"Of course I am."
"Have some balls, Veronica. I thought you were better at this."
Veronica didn't respond, pulling into the school's parking lot. The walk to the football field was a quiet one, the breeze quietly whistling through the trees around campus. The football field was as pristine as ever, fake turf groomed to sheer perfection, bright green contrasting the dreary gray skies, and in the center stood one Heather McNamara, dressed in yellow. The girl waved, her sundress billowing with the breeze, and Veronica waved back, with far less energy. She skulked forward, slightly slouched. She had to look up to meet Heather's gaze, something that always felt slightly wrong. Being the shortest of the four was never something Veronica vocally complained about, but she thought about it a lot.
"It's good to see you!" Heather McNamara smiled a wide smile that was a little too bright for poor Veronica.
"Likewise." Veronica gestured towards the bleachers. In a moment, the two were seated, Heather nice and prim and proper, and Veronica slightly slouched, legs spread - it was something she'd picked up to keep people from sitting too close to her on the bus. Worked like a charm - no wonder guys did it so much.
"So."
"So." Heather kept that signature sunny smile. "Why'd you call me out here? You haven't reached out in a while."
"..." The shorter girl sighed, letting some tension flow out of her shoulders. Might as well get right to it, she figured. "I just wanted to tell you... I'm, uh, leaving town."
"...Huh?"
"Yeah." Veronica shrugged. "Just gonna get on the road, and, uh, go somewhere."
"When are you leaving?"
"Today. After this, actually."
"When are you coming back?" Heather looked at her something desperate. Veronica heard the tongue clicking of a certain ghost behind her, but she ignored it.
"I'm not coming back." Veronica averted her gaze from Heather's. "I can't stay here. Too much has happened, y'know? I just... I wanna start over. Leave everything behind."
Heather was silent.
"Sorry. I know it's a dick move to just drop this on you." She rubbed the back of her neck, staring at the bleachers below. "But it's what I have to do. To be honest, if I stay any longer here I feel like I'll lose my mind."
"Is it because of JD?"
Veronica winced.
"That's... Part of it, yeah."
"I really am sorry." Heather scooted a little closer. Veronica wanted to explode. "I wish I'd been there for you more. Like you were there for me. I... I didn't know it was this bad."
"There's a lot you don't know, Mac." Veronica said it under her breath, like she hadn't meant to, but when she looked up the blonde was staring hard.
"You'd be surprised." 'Mac' chuckled darkly to herself, and Veronica's eyebrows raised. It was quiet for a moment. It was very quiet.
"...Oh yeah?"
"Well, I know they weren't gay."
If Veronica had been drinking something she surely would've spit it out at that.
"Oh, y-yeah?" Veronica weakly sputtered, attempting some sort of reassuring grin that she could hear Heather Chandler groan at. "B-But they both had, like, suicide notes and stuff? Seems pretty, uh, cut and dry to m-"
"And I know you were probably at Heather's place when it happened." Mac stared back at her, deadly serious. "I'm... I'm not dumb, Veronica. I pick up on stuff. I mean, a bunch of suicides happen super duper close to each other, and JD blows himself up the same day a bunch of bombs get found in the gym, and then all the dying stops? It's not hard to put the pieces together. And you're, um. You're pretty good at forging handwriting. So. Y'know..."
It was about five seconds before Veronica could bring herself to respond. Even her ghost was speechless - something that rarely ever happened. "Well, I, uh... I don't think you're, uh, stupid." She exhaled. "Just thought nobody would ever figure all that out."
"You did admit to it on live TV."
"...That I did."
"Why'd you do it?" Heather scooted even closer, as if she was trying to prevent Veronica from bolting - which, to the cheerleader's credit, Veronica was very much considering. "Why'd you... Y'know..."
"It was all JD." Pause. "Okay, I know that's, like, a super shitty answer. But it was. I just, I dunno, enabled him? Didn't try to stop him soon enough. Somehow I didn't get the memo when he shot your, uh..."
"Yeah."
"Yeah. It sucked."
"No kidding."
It was silent for a moment. The breeze came and went again, and despite the summer heat, Veronica shivered.
"Take me with you." The blonde stared at Veronica again, something resolute in her eyes.
"Huh?" Veronica paled. "Wh-Heather, I can't just-"
"Either you take me with you," Heather was even closer now, "or I tell the police. And I will get you sent to prison for the rest of your life. And stuff."
"...Mac, you can't just leave." Veronica felt a nervous smile cross her face. Out of all the things that could've happened here, this was the last thing she expected. "You've got, like, a life, here. You can't just-"
"And I hate it."
"Oh."
"I hate it! I hate my life! It sucks! It's sucked since freshman year!" The blonde clutched onto Veronica's shoulders. "I'm tired of everything! Why do you think I tried to..." She looked to the side. "...Kill m-myself. I don't like it here, Veronica. I want to go with you."
"Mac..."
"Take her." Heather whispered in her ear, and Veronica jolted. "You know you'll go crazy on your own. It's the least you can do for her."
"..."
"And if I'm going to be stuck with you, it'd be nice to have her around."
"..."
Veronica sighed. She shuffled in place. She sighed again.
"...If we stop by your place," Veronica forced out, "how long will it take you to pack?"
"Oh, Ronnie..." Heather threw her arms around the shorter girl, nearly knocking her off the bleachers. "It won't take long, I promise."
"Uh, yeah. That's. That's good. I can help." Nobody had called her 'Ronnie' since JD died. It didn't feel bad to hear Heather say it. Felt weird. She tried her best to ignore that.
"Thanks."
"No problem." It was a problem. She'd been planning on going solo for months. This was a pretty last minute addition to the plan.
...
But maybe she didn't entirely mind.
"Alright!" Heather slammed the trunk door shut, packing her belongings inside. "I made sure to sneak some cash with me, so we'll be set for a while. I doubt Mom and Dad'll notice." She winked and struck a cutesy pose - and held it for a few seconds until she realized that Veronica was very much not paying attention to her.
"Ah, yeah. Nice." Veronica stared up at the blonde's house. She never quite got used to how big it was. "You really wanna run away from all this? It isn't gonna be easy, y'know."
"Well, duh." Heather grinned. "Course it isn't. But I can manage. I'm pretty tough."
She flexed a bicep to prove her point, and Veronica found herself staring a bit too long when she realized that there was actually some muscle there. Cheerleading was pretty athletic, she thought, having to exercise a surprising amount of effort to tear her eyes away.
"Yeah. Well, I'll be here too, so..." She tried a smile. "We'll probably make it."
"Mmm!"
Veronica slipped into the driver's seat, briefly glancing at all the stuff Heather had crammed into the back of her car. She winced. Her plans to pack light were now completely squandered - the ex-cheerleader had insisted on stuffed animals and tons of clothes and comfy blankets and probably more snacks than the two of them could get to before their expiration dates set in. Heather Chandler would barely have anywhere to sit. She'd get an earful about it later.
"Let's get a move on!"
Heather hopped into the passenger seat, all smiles. She was so, so bright, the sun to Veronica's moon. It was a little hard to look at her sometimes.
"You sure your parents won't start a manhunt after us?" Veronica smirked.
"Well, they did want me to get out of the house." Heather shrugged. "I bet they'll be more mad about the money, if they even notice."
"That's, uh... Yeah. Let's hope so, I guess."
Veronica turned the keys in the ignition.
The highway stretched out into the night, yellow lines coming and going. Veronica watched them - they were about the only thing she could gain some mild enjoyment of, out here. Like most things in the small town, the drive out of Sherwood was miserably boring, with very little going on at all until you got somewhere else. But the little markings of the highway could only draw your interest for so long, and thus she turned to stare at Heather. The sunny girl who'd forced her way into her escape plan had been looking pleased as punch about the whole thing for a while, but now she just looked... A bit sad, maybe? She stared out the window, eyes dull and tired. Veronica hadn't seen much of that from her before. Not since the bathroom. Against her own better judgement, she spoke.
"You don't have to act like that, y'know."
"Hmm?" Heather tilted her head to the side, instantly back to the usual now that she knew she was being paid attention to. "Like what?"
"You're always, uh, smiling and happy and whatever. I know that's not entirely... honest." Veronica stared hard at the road. "You don't have to do that here. We're not at Westerburg anymore."
"...It's a bit hard not to." Heather's smile fell a little. "I'm used to it. Being strong. You're the only one who's seen me like..." She shrugged. "Honest."
"Well, now you have to be strong about different things. Like finding hotels, and sleeping in cars. No more being popular, right?"
"I'd rather not be strong at all, honestly."
Veronica hesitated. Her ghost kicked the back of her seat.
"Well, how about this?" She tried at a smile again. It felt a little more natural. "You don't have to be strong anymore. I'll be strong enough for the both of us."
"That sounds like a lot of work."
"Probably will be." Veronica chuckled. "I don't mind. But you have to be honest with me, in exchange. Got that?"
"Yeah." Heather nodded. "I'll give it a go."
"Atta girl."
"Again, I'm really sorry."
"Don't be! I don't mind."
"R-Right."
Heather had undersold how much money she'd taken with her. That girl was loaded, Veronica had quickly realized, and it was pretty easy to secure a cheap hotel room. Veronica had insisted on cheap. Didn't want to blow through their funds within the first night of their journey. Unfortunately, going for cheap had it's drawbacks, and one of those drawbacks is that cheap hotels don't tend to have two person rooms.
"I'll take the couch-uh, the chair." Veronica pointed to a vaguely comfortable looking chair set up in the corner of the room. "You get the bed."
"Absolutely not!" Heather pouted. "I'm not letting you sleep in that. Not after everything you've already done for me."
"I'm the one being strong, remember?" Veronica smirked.
"Then we'll compromise. Sleep with me."
Veronica's smirk vanished as quickly as it had appeared. Heather was dead serious.
"Wh-Well, I, uh, I mean, that's a really small bed." To her credit, it was a really small bed. "You'd be uncomfortable."
"Can't be less comfortable than sleeping in a chair."
"Fair point." Truth be told, Veronica didn't really want to sleep in the chair. "Fine."
It was not fine.
Veronica had not slept in a bed with another person since JD. This was a very difficult thing to stop thinking about, she found. Heather was close to her, facing her back. Veronica couldn't bring herself to face the girl. Her mind raced. She felt less tired than when she'd gotten into bed.
"Hey, Ronnie?"
Veronica didn't respond. Maybe she could trick Heather into thinking she was asleep-
"Are you okay?"
"...What?"
"You're breathing weird. Doesn't sound okay."
Veronica's eyebrow twitched. She was totally breathing weird, wasn't she.
"I'm fine, Mac."
"You don't sound fine. Turn around."
"What?"
"Turn around. Please."
Veronica did as she was told. Heather didn't look like she was doing too hot either.
"Ronnie..."
"Y-Yeah?"
"Let's both be honest."
"...Mac, I-"
Heather hugged her close, and whatever half-hearted lie Veronica had thought up simply fell out of her brain.
"I like when you call me Mac." Heather nestled into her neck, holding tight, like she'd fall away if she let go. Like she'd slip right off the little lifeboat of their bed.
"...I like when you call me Ronnie."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah."
"Your heart's beating really fast."
"I haven't done this kind of thing in a while." Veronica told the truth, despite herself. She felt small.
"Should I stop?"
"Please don't."
"I won't." Heather smiled against her neck. "I promise."
Veronica hugged her back. She felt herself start to sob. It had been so long. She was so tired. She wanted to stay here forever.
If this was what it felt like to be out of town, she'd never go back.
"I think I'm a fag."
Veronica spit out her water.
It was Heather's turn to drive, and she stared daggers into the road ahead, almost white knuckling the steering wheel. Veronica, mouth agape, turned to stare at Heather Chandler. The ghost seemed entirely unphased. What the hell?
"That's, um..." Veronica blinked a few times. "What?"
"I think I'm a-"
"Heard you the first time, Mac."
"Y'know. Like, a guy who's into guys."
"Right."
"But like. A girl."
"...So, you're a lesbian?"
"Is that what that is?" Heather blinked, innocently, and Veronica felt like she was losing her mind.
"Yes, Mac. That's what that is. Are you...?"
"Probably."
Veronica stared out the window in silence for a moment.
"Sorry. That's weird, isn't it?"
"Well, I mean-" Veronica stopped herself. Exhaled. Tried again. "It's not exactly normal."
"Yeah."
"But I don't think it's bad."
"Really?"
"Yeah. I mean, your average joe isn't gonna have the same opinion, but I don't really see anything wrong with it."
"Yeah."
"...So, uh, you and Ram...?"
"That was..." Heather sighed. "To be honest, I'm kind of glad he's dead."
"Oh." Veronica blinked a few times. Turned to look at Heather. "You okay?"
"..."
"There's an exit with a McDonald's coming up. Pull over."
Heather pulled into a parking lot a few minutes later and Veronica pulled the car door open and tugged her out and held her tight and Heather sobbed. She hadn't seen Heather sob in a while.
"C'mon, c'mon. Let's get something to eat." Heather pointed at the McDonald's, trying her best to ignore the 711 a small distance behind it. Stupid things really were everywhere. "You're gonna be fine. I've got you. Let's get something to eat, okay?"
"Okay..." Heather nodded. She held onto Veronica's hand as they walked. Veronica felt a little strange about that. A few fries and a burger later, and Heather had mostly stopped crying. She leaned against Veronica, arms linked around the shorter girl's, head rested on her shoulder. Her breathing was soft, steady, like she forced it to be. In, and out. In, and out. She sniffled every now and then and Veronica squeezed her a little closer every time.
"I've never said that before." She smiled, shaky breaths on her lips. "I really hated it, y'know? I hate boys. They're terrible."
"Yeah." Veronica nodded. "No kidding."
"Do you like girls, Ronnie?"
Veronica paused. Thought about it hard. Really thought about it. Felt Heather's hand, wrapped around hers. Forced her eyes shut. Breathed in. Breathed out.
"I like guys. I know that much." The words sat on her tongue. Heather Chandler stared at her from across the table, eyebrow raised. "But I... I mean, they're both nice, y'know? I like both. Is that. Is that a thing?"
"I dunno why it wouldn't be."
"Yeah. Okay."
"Do you like me?"
Heather Chandler smiled.
"Yeah. You're nice."
The ghost sighed, hard, and Veronica felt like she'd done something wrong.
Heather McNamara sat on the edge of the bed.
"I told you, Mac, we could've got a room with two beds." Veronica sighed.
"I thought you wanted to save money?"
"Well-Well, yes, I did. I..."
She stared at Heather some more.
"I assume you're not gonna let me take the chair this time?"
"Nope."
"Go figure."
"I like you, Ronnie."
"I'd hope so."
Veronica could swear she heard Heather Chandler's ghostly groaning from somewhere in the room. She was laying in bed with Heather McNamara again, facing the girl, despite how nervous that made her. The room was dark, and the only light was a full moon, silver light drifting through the curtains. She could see Heather's face. Her eyes were nervous, expectant, couldn't look at her for more than a fleeting moment. Looks like she was nervous too.
"Y-You'd hope so?"
"Would suck to do this with someone you didn't like."
The ghost looked like she wanted to say something very bad, but held back whatever impulse that was. It was very easy to tell she was mad. Veronica shivered. What was she doing wrong, here? She racked her brain for an answer.
"Ronnie, I..."
"...Yeah?"
"I love you."
All of Veronica's thoughts slid to a halt. "Oh," she whispered, eyes wide.
"Veronica Sawyer, I love you."
Veronica stared at the blonde, eyes wide, silent. What could she possibly say?
"I-I started crushing when you saved me, in the bathroom. You were so nice, and you held me, and I thought about it a lot. And I realized that I had never thought about a boy like that. About anyone, really. A-And I wanted to be with you like a boy. But that wasn't right. But I wanted it. M-More than anything, I want it."
"..."
"D-Don't look at me like that. You're the one who wanted me to be honest."
"Mac, I don't..." She swallowed. Her throat felt dry. "You shouldn't."
"What?"
"Y-You'd shouldn't love me. I'm not-I don't deserve that. You shouldn't."
"Ronnie, I-"
"Th-The last guy who loved me blew up in a football field, Mac."
"...The last guy who loved me got stripped and shot in a cemetery."
"And it was my fault, Mac, everything was."
"So?" Mac smiled. "You still saved me. I'm still here because of you. I wouldn't be here if you hadn't taken me with you. I-I wouldn't..."
"..."
"I love you. No matter what. I'm not gonna take it back."
Mac is bright. So bright she's hard to look at sometimes. Like the sun. And Veronica finds herself blinded.
She feels a hand take her own, and hold it, and she finds it warm.
"Don't take it back," she whispered.
"I won't."
"Can I be honest, Mac?"
"Yeah."
"I don't know if I'd be here either. If you hadn't come. So-"
Mac pulled her close. Veronica's words died in her throat. She hugged the sun tight. She felt so, so warm.
"I think I love you, Mac."
"...You think?"
"Well, I-" She sniffled. "I don't know. It's scary to think about. But I want you to be with me. Always. I don't want to let go of you. I think that's love? I-Is that what you're feeling?"
"Yeah."
"Okay." She exhaled. Her throat felt tight. "Okay. Okay... God. I'm not-I'm not used to this."
"That's fine."
"C-Can I try again?"
"Yeah."
"I love you, Heather McNamara."
For a moment, it was silent.
And then Heather giggled and it was possibly the most wonderful sound Veronica had ever heard but she didn't have time to think about that because Heather was gently pulling her a little closer and placing a finger under her chin and
Heather kissed her and it felt like the sun had wrapped itself around her.
Veronica basked in the warmth.
"So, are we, like, dating now?"
Veronica spit out her water again.
"W-Well, uh." She blinked a few times. Stared out at the highway, at the blazing sun watching down over them. And then stared at Heather, who wore the most innocent smile on her face. An honest smile. "I-I guess we are, huh?"
"And this is like a date!"
"We've been doing this for weeks, Mac." Veronica chuckled, tapping her fingers on the car seat. "That's a pretty long date."
"I guess so." Heather chuckled. "We pretty much live together, and we go everywhere together, and we... We m-make out and stuff."
"Yuh huh."
"Doesn't that pretty much make us married?"
Veronica spit out her drink *again*
"Well, uh, I-"
"I'm kidding, Ronnie." Heather chuckled. "I'm just teasing."
"Oh."
"...You sound disappointed."
"Well, I mean. I dunno. Do you wanna get married? I wouldn't mind. You're nice to be around. So I could do that, like, forever." She blinked a few times. "Sorry. Is that like. That's coming on a bit strong. That's too fast. I, uh, well-"
Heather Chandler chuckled in the backseat. She sounded happy, genuinely so. She'd been less of an asshole lately. It was nice. It also made Veronica forget whatever she was going to say, so she just sat there, staring at the highway, red in the face.
"I wouldn't mind either." Mac giggled, leaning to the side so she could take a hand off the wheel and wrap it around Veronica's for a moment, squeezing it tight. "I guess that means we're dating!" She giggled again and smiled all big and bright at Veronica and the poor girl felt like she was going to explode.
...
It was a feeling she had started to enjoy, lately.