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“Was it all a lie?” Atsumu asks, unable to meet the eyes of his lover, afraid to see the truth lurking in them, “Was it all just a bet, Omi?”
“Atsu, listen to me,” Sakusa pleads, wanting a chance to explain, “Baby, I promise my feelings were real. It just-”
“Started on god damn lies,” He interupts angrily, wiping the tears with the back of his hand, “You know- I couldn't believe it when you asked me out. I have liked you since high school, everyone knew that. But you never looked at me, not until Shoyo's birthday.”
“You're so mean, Sakusa,” Atsumu spits out the words like fire, his insides burning and coiling, “You're vile. You're cruel, damn it, don't come close to me,” He steps back, avoiding Sakusa's touch, the same touch he craved every day and night.
“Atsu..”
“Don't,” He raises his hand to stop him, “You have no right to call me that. You don't have to pretend to love me. I found out, Sakusa, I found out in the vilest of ways.”
“Just let me explain,” Sakusa pleads, pain etched on his face, “There's more to the story, please.”
“What do you want to say?” Atsumu whips his neck to stare at him, the same eyes that were once filled with love were now full of resentment, “Congratulations! You stole my heart and ruined it in ways you can't imagine.”
“Baby, it was never fake,” He is on his knees, begging, “Atsumu, I promise, it started because of a bet but it was all real! I love you, how can I not?”
“You're so beautiful, Atsu,” Sakusa looks at him, broken, “You're the sun, I looked at you once and I couldn't look away. The bet,” He pauses, struggling to find the right words, “It was about me.. to see if I could muster up the courage to ask you out because i loved you long before that! I crashed and burned for you.”
“You don't,” Atsumu says automatically, a stoic expression on his face, “If I didn't hear Komori talking about the bet, I never would have found out. I would've lived in oblivion. You don't need to lie to me, Sakusa. It's fine, I loved you and that's my problem, I was so blind to see that you never felt the same. It's fine…” He repeats, “You're free now. You don't have to be around me.”
“How do I convince you?” Sakusa stands up and takes a step towards him.
“It will all sound like excuses anyways,” He chuckles bitterly, “Don't worry about it. I'll save you the hassle. Go and tell Komori all about your achievements. How I was a fool for you, dancing on your fingers, how good I was to you, how I burned for you every night… go and tell him how your name sounded from my lips because this is the last time you'll ever hear it, Sakusa.”
“Please don't do this…” Sakusa begs, tears spilling from his eyes, “Komori can tell you if you don't believe me. He- we never intended to hurt you. Komori only told me to ask you out before someone else did-”
“You're a selfish man,” Atsumu interrupts him, his fists clenched by his side, “You're not capable of loving anyone. You need a heart for that, and you don't have one. Just let me go,” He pleads, “I can't stand the sight of you.”
“Atsumu, I can't live without you!” Sakusa exclaims.
“You'll manage,”
“You can't live without me,” Sakusa tries to convince him.
“I'll pretend you're dead,” Atsumu gives him a pointed look, “Will make it easier to move on. Consider yourself lucky that Samu and Rin don't know about this cause they would have beaten your ass.”
Atsumu turns around and hesitates as he heads for their shared room. He pulls out his suitcase from the closet and throws his clothes, shoes- whatever he can find into it. In other circumstances, he would never let his shoes touch his branded jackets and shirts. He would rather die than crumble his shirts like he is doing right now but with Sakusa hovering near the door, Atsumu has no choice but to pack his suitcase haphazardly.
“Are you really leaving me?” Sakusa asks softly, “Atsu, I can fix this. We can make this better. I can tell you the truth, right from the start.”
“Do you think that will change things?” Atsumu’s hand hovers over a sweater that Sakusa had bought him, his resolve wavering for just a moment.
“Please, just give me 10 minutes,” He says quietly and then, “No, five would be enough too.”
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[ the day it happened ]
“Oi, Tsumu,” His twin sighs, his head resting on their friend, Suna’s shoulder, “Can we leave now? Shoyo-kun is not even paying us attention. He’s too busy for us,”
“That’s rude of you,” Atsumu chides, holding Hinata’s gift in his hand, “Kageyama-kun planned this party for him.”
“Whatever,” Osamu mumbles, before his eyes trail over to someone else, “Oh look, what the cat brought.”
“Cat?” Suna looks up, sipping his drink, “Oh, that cat-” He gasps, eyes glinting mischievously, “It’s the asshole you like, Tsum.”
“You all are mean,” Atsumu grins, before he turns his head to stare shamelessly at his crush, Sakusa Kiyoomi, who is huddled close to his cousin, Komori.
“Let me go and talk to him,” He stands up and fixes his sweater, “If Shoyo-kun comes, tell him to wait for me. Don’t give him the present without me.”
“Aye, aye, captain,” Suna salutes him lazily, twirling the straw in his glass, looking bored as ever.
Atsumu walks over to Sakusa, pasting what he assumes is a dazzling smile on his face.
“Hey Komori,” He smiles at him and then at Sakusa, “Hi, Omi, you look great today.”
Sakusa looks at his black leather jacket and then at Atsumu’s pastel pink sweater, “You borrowed clothes from your sister?”
“Now, now,” Atsumu smiles widely, “Are you flirting with me, Omi?”
“I swear, if you call me that one more time-”
“Be nice!” Komori elbows his cousin before apologizing to Atsumu, “Sorry about this one. He keeps on forgetting his manners.”
“It’s alright, I quite like it,” Atsumu winks at Sakusa as Komori slips away from them, not before giving his cousin a strange look that Atsumu can’t decipher.
“Miya,” Sakusa lets out a sigh, “Why do you like me?”
“You’re pretty,” He says instantly, ears turning red, “Not only that, you pretend to be tough but you’re soft inside, like an egg.”
“That makes no sense?”
“Omi, you pretend to dislike me but I’ve grown on you right?” Atsumu tilts his head, “The first time I confessed to you, you ran away. The second time, you pretended not to hear me. The third time you just stared at me and I got scared. But every time you rejected me, my locker was filled with chocolates. You felt sorry for me, right?”
“I did no such thing,” Sakusa avoids his gaze.
“See? You’re such a softie,” He pokes Sakusa’s cheek with his finger and smiles, “Do you know I love this mole?”
“Shut up, Miya,” Sakusa groans, pushing his hand away and then he changes the topic, “Can I ask you something?”
“You can ask me anything,” Atsumu smiles at him, batting his eyelashes “My bank balance, the password- I’ll tell you everything.”
“You seriously need help,” Sakusa laughs and Atsumu’s heart does a somersault inside his chest, “What would you do if… I tell you I’m seeing someone?”
“Like hallucinations?” He offers weakly, a pained look in his eyes.
“C’mon, Miya, I’m being serious.”
“I don’t know, Omi,” Atsumu sighs, his shoulders slumping. “I’d try to be happy for you, if you really liked the person. What are they like? Do I know them?”
“You do,” There’s a lovesick look in Sakusa’s eyes and Atsumu can’t help but be envious of the person who has managed to crack into Sakusa’s cold, brittle heart.
“He’s an idiot, though.” Sakusa continues, his gaze steady on Atsumu., “Pretends to be fine when he is not. Pretends to be happy for me when he is not.”
Atsumu looks at him confused, “What?”
“You’re an idiot,” The curly-haired boy sighs and then takes a step towards Atsumu, “I like you. Truth be told, I have been waiting for you to ask me out again but you took too long.”
“Are ya fucking with me?” Atsumu asks him seriously, “I swear, if this is some joke-”
“It’s not,” Sakusa says quietly, cutting him off, “I really like you, Atsu.”
Atsumu blinks, taking in the nickname, the confession, the abruptness of it all. He takes it in and then he crashes his lips into Sakusa’s, kissing him fiercely.
It doesn’t matter to him that they’re at Shoyou’s birthday party, it doesn’t matter that everyone might be looking at them, he kisses Sakusa hard, like it’s the last time he’ll do so even though it’s the first and many more will follow.
“Baby,” Sakusa pulls away, a cheeky smile on his face, “As much as I’m enjoying this, people are looking.”
“Sorry, I got overwhelmed,” Atsumu mumbles, rubbing his neck sheepishly, “Did you mean what you said?”
He rolls his eyes, “Nah, I was playing with you, Atsu.” Then after a pause, “You’re an idiot, but you’re also my idiot now.”
Atsumu grins at him, taking Sakusa’s hand in his, intertwining their fingers together, “C’mon, I’m sure Samu and Rin are dying right, wanting to know what happened.”
He pulls Sakusa along, to where his twin and his boyfriend are sitting, their mouths hanging open.
“Am I dreaming Rin?” Osamu asks, looking at Suna and then at Sakusa, “Kiyoomi, are you being forced right now, is this a hostage situation?”
“Oi- have some faith in me!” Atsumu whines.
“Someone must’ve spiked my drink,” Rin mumbles, staring at his glass, “I had a dream that Atsumu kissed Sakusa.”
“Stop bugging Atsu,” Sakusa looks at them, a stern expression on his face, “I know he has been third-wheeling around you both but I’m with him now. You better not annoy Atsu- my baby.”
“Baby?” Suna repeats, pretending to throw up.
Atsumu grins, “It feels like it’s my birthday today,” He kisses Sakusa on the cheek, “I got such a good present.”
“You’re the present,” Sakusa mumbles, his cheeks flushed.
“I have no idea what’s happening,” Osamu snatches Suna’s drink and gulps it in one sip. He places the glass on the table and then turns to Sakusa, “You better be serious about my brother. He is an asshole but I will defend him with my life. Hurt him and I swear, I will end you.”
He stands up and pats Sakusa’s shoulder while Atsumu stares at him, his expression amused yet fond.
“Got it?” Osamu asks his twin’s boyfriend.
“Got it,” Sakusa repeats, scared by Osamu’s change in demeanor. He never imagined he would be scared of Atsumu’s twin, not when he seemed mild and always lost in thoughts.
“Well,” Osamu ruffles his twin’s hair, earning a smack on his head, “Tsum, I am happy for ya. Be good, okay?”
“What the hell?” Atsumu says, “I’m not a dog.”
Suna chuckles as he leans against Osamu, a little tipsy, “You seemed like one when you ran around Sakusa. It was fun to watch, I’ll miss it a little.”
“Shut up,” Atsumu rolls his eyes, “I’m going to find Shoyou-kun, you two can say whatever you want today, I won’t get mad.” He looks at his hand intertwined with Sakusa and grins, “I’m soo happy today!”
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[ sakusa’s pov and “the bet” ]
Sakusa does not want to go to Hinata’s birthday. He doesn’t want to face Miya Atsumu, also known as the bane of his existence. He isn’t in the mood to socialize with anyone, not even his cousin who is lying on Sakusa’s bed, pretending as if it’s his own.
“You do know I can hear you sighing, right?” Komori asks him, scrolling through his phone.
“I don’t care,” He mumbles, tapping his foot on the ground, “Why are you here anyways?”
“Kageyama told me to bring you, he knew you would not come otherwise.” He explains and chuckles at his cousin’s sour expression, “Come on, you like Hinata.”
“I do,” Sakusa sighs again and sits at the edge of the bed, “But Atsumu will be there.”
“So?” Komori looks at him, in anticipation.
“So what?” Sakusa throws a pillow at him, “He will bug me.”
“But you like him bugging you.”
“I do not!”
“You do, Kiyoomi!”
“Shut up,” Sakusa plops down on the bed, lying down next to his cousin, “I hate him. I hate how he never gives up. He’s so stupid, Toya. How can I like someone like him?”
“Excuse me?” Komori whacks him hard, in the head, “What does someone like him mean? He’s good looking, he likes you since you were in your mask phase, he has been following you around like a lost puppy and he can tolerate you! What more do you need?”
“He doesn’t like me anymore,” Sakusa sighs for the hundredth time, “It’s been so long since he asked me out.”
“That’s because last time you stared at him in disgust! He chickened out quickly… I felt so bad for him.”
“I was not disgusted!” He shakes his head, explaining, “I was not expecting it. Atsumu came out of nowhere and he looked so good, Toya. I was about to say yes but he ran away.”
“Aww, baby, it’ll get better,” Komori rubs his cousin’s shoulder, “Hey, why don’t you ask him out this time?”
“Thanks, but I’ll pass.” Sakusa rolls his eyes, annoyed at the awful suggestion.
“Why not?” Komori presses him.
“Miya will pass out if I do that.”
“Come on!” Komori hits him again, this time in the stomach, “You’re being a coward. Let’s make a bet….” He rubs his chin, thinking, “If you manage to ask Atsumu out, I’ll wash your clothes for a week.”
“With the detergent I love?” Sakusa asks hopefully.
“Sure, why not,”
“I can’t do it,” He puts the pillow on his face and groans, “I can’t act normal around him, Toya. He blinds me. He’s so charming and funny, I can’t stand being around him.”
“Sakusa Kiyoomi,” Komori brings out the full name, looking at him sternly, “You know Atsumu is a catch. He won’t wait for you forever. If you don’t snatch the opportunity, Atsumu will end up with someone else and I’ll be here to comfort your broken heart. I don’t want to do that so man up and ask him out!”
“I hate you,” Sakusa stands up and walks over to his closet, “Don’t ever say that again… Miya is mine.”
“How possessive,” He chuckles and walks over to Sakusa.
Komori stares at Sakusa’s all-black wardrobe and sighs, “Man.. you need help. I hope Atsumu brings colors to your life cause you desperately need them”
“Shut up,” Sakusa retorts, his cheeks turning rosy on the thought of Miya Atsumu being in his apartment, in his room, helping him pick clothes.
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[ flashback 1 : the keys ]
“Babe?” Atsumu places the keys on the counter, confused since Sakusa is supposed to be home but the lights are off.
Before he can turn on the lights, there's a creak. He turns around afraid and is greeted with a pretty sight.
Sakusa steps into view, carefully holding a small cake. The soft glow of the candles illuminates his face, highlighting the shy smile tugging at his lips.
“Happy anniversary, Atsu,” He says quietly, “C'mon, blow out the candles.”
Atsumu does as he's told. He’s overwhelmed, not just by the sweetness of the gesture but by how Sakusa, who isn’t one for grand displays, has gone out of his way to do something so intimate.
Sakusa turns on the lights and sits down on the couch next to Atsumu.
“Our anniversary isn’t today,” Atsumu says, his brow furrowing with confusion, a hint of anxiety creeping into his voice. He’s suddenly worried that he might’ve mixed up the date. They’ve been dating for almost half a year, and the idea that Sakusa is celebrating this milestone takes him by surprise.
“No, I'm a day early,” Sakusa smiles, kissing Atsumu gently, “I wanted to surprise you.”
“Omi, you're scaring me,” He laughs nervously, fidgeting with his fingers, “You've been a little distant lately. Is everything okay?”
“Atsu, did you bring your keys over?” Sakusa asks him, “The ones to this apartment.”
“Yeah, they're on the counter.”
“I'll need them back,” He looks at Atsumu, waiting.
“Omi? Are you mad at me? C'mon, don't do this to me,” Atsumu's heart drops down with each passing second.
“You don't need keys anymore,” Sakusa shakes his head, “Just stay here.”
“You come over everyday anyway,” He continues, staring into Atsumu's eyes, “You stay the night. You sleep in my bed, you wear my clothes and they look better on you than on me anyways. I want to spend every second with you, Atsu. You can have your own room too. Actually, I've been busy with that,” He rubs his neck sheepishly, “I converted the guest room into your room.”
“It's okay!” Sakusa forces a smile when Atsumu says nothing and looks at him, frozen in a trance, “You don't have to say yes. I'll keep the room for you anyways…”
“What the hell, Omi?” Atsumu buries his face in his hands, “I thought you were breaking up with me.”
“What?” Sakusa is taken aback, he's horrified at the thought, “I would never break up with you, baby.”
He pries Atsumu's hands away from his face, kissing his forehead gently, “You are,” he moves down to his nose, “the best thing” then places a soft, slow kiss on his lips, “that ever happened to me,” he murmurs.
Sakusa pulls back, resting his forehead on Atsumu's. His heart breaks upon seeing the tears in his boyfriend's eyes.
“You scared me,” Atsumu says softly, “You asked for the keys. I thought you didn't want me to come here anymore, that you were breaking up with me.”
“I'm sorry,” Sakusa holds his boyfriend's hand, caressing it softly, “Atsu, I should've phrased it better. I should've told you before I started planning it. I'm sorry… I didn't want you to feel neglected because I was busy planning.”
“I forgive you,” Atsumu leans his head on Sakusa's shoulder, “Just don't go on scaring me like this again.”
“I won't,” He promises, without wasting a second.
“Also,” Atsumu says after a moment of quietness, “The answer is yes. I'd love to move in with you.”
“I never doubted it,” Sakusa smiles even though he has doubted it countless times.
A part of him is scared that Atsumu will find flaws in him, that somehow he'll mess up and break Atsumu's heart. Sakusa is scared of losing him.
“I don't think I need a separate bedroom though,” Atsumu looks up at him, mischief in his eyes, “Yours is big enough for us. I like it.”
“Whatever you want, Atsu,” Sakusa smiles at him, running his hand through Atsumu’s hair, “Hey, let's go back to yours today. You can tell Osamu and we can bring some of your stuff back here,”
“Later,” Atsumu nods, his head arching back at Sakusa’s touch "For now, show me the room.”
Right now, he wants more of Sakusa- he needs more. There’s a longing in Atsumu’s eyes, a need that makes Sakusa’s breath hitch. Without another word, he stands up and sweeps Atsumu off his feet, carrying him bridal style towards the newly renovated room, “C’mon, let me show you how sturdy your bed is.”
Sakusa laughs as Atsumu lets out a surprised shriek but it dies down as Atsumu places hasty kisses down his neck. The desperation makes Sakusa almost collide into a wall. He nudges the door open with his foot and throws Atsumu on the bed.
“Quite sturdy,” Atsumu winks at him, he pats the bed, “C’mon, let's test it out more.”
The next morning, Atsumu wakes up sore and tired but he's happy. He is tangled in sheets, next to Sakusa, who is snoring softly and it is safe to say that he had chosen a good bed, it proved to be quite sturdy.
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[ flash back 2 : falling sick ]
Atsumu is almost annoyingly proud of his strong immune system. He rarely gets sick, unlike his twin, who seems to catch the flu every other month. As a good brother, Atsumu often steps in, making soup, fetching medicine, and ensuring Osamu gets the rest he needs.
But this time, guilt gnaws at him. He’s left Osamu alone while he’s sick—well, not entirely alone, since Suna has taken over the role Atsumu usually plays. Still, Atsumu can’t shake the feeling that he should be the one there, taking care of his brother.
“Stop acting like I’m on my deathbed,” Osamu rasps, coughing into a tissue. “It’s just the flu. I’ll be fine.”
“I know you’ll be fine, but I still worry about you, Samu.” Atsumu squeezes his brother’s hand gently. “You get sick a lot for someone who always claims to be better than me.”
“You really shouldn’t touch him,” Sakusa says from the doorway, his voice muffled by the mask covering his mouth. Clad in all black, he stands as far from the sick room as possible without actually leaving it. Sakusa’s fear of getting sick is palpable, the mere thought making him nauseous.
“He’s right,” Suna adds, placing a warm towel on Osamu’s forehead. “Besides, you’ve been here too long. Go back and give us some privacy, Tsumu.”
“Mean,” Atsumu grumbles, scrunching his nose as he stands. “If you both need anything, let me know, okay? There’s food in the fridge and soup on the stove. Make sure Samu eats it before he takes his meds,” he says, glancing between Suna and his brother.
“Thanks, Tsumu,” Osamu manages a weak smile.
“Anytime.” Atsumu smiles back, waving as he leaves the room, following Sakusa out the door.
As they return to their apartment, Atsumu isn’t surprised when Sakusa heads straight for the shower. Twenty minutes later, Sakusa emerges, looking refreshed and a little more at ease
“You should shower too,” he tells Atsumu, already moving to gather their clothes. “I’ll run the washing machine—make sure to toss in your clothes once you’re done.”
“Can I shower later?” Atsumu pouts, flopping onto the couch. “I’m tired from cooking all day.”
“Atsu,” Sakusa says, shaking his head with a fond smile. “Come on, I don’t want us to get sick. Go shower, and I’ll disinfect everything in the meantime. Then we can watch a movie and relax. How does that sound?”
“Sounds great.” Atsumu grins as he heads for the bathroom. “You look hot when you’re all commanding, Omi.”
“Shut up,” Sakusa laughs.
After his shower, Atsumu steps back into the living room, greeted by the strong, familiar scent of disinfectants. He sighs, heading over to the washing machine to toss in his dirty clothes—anything to avoid Sakusa sulking for the rest of the evening.
“You’re lucky I like you,” Atsumu mutters, snuggling next to Sakusa on the couch. Sakusa’s feet are propped up on the table, his expression content. “You’re such a neat freak, Omi. It’s annoying sometimes.”
“I’m annoying?” Sakusa feigns offense, though his smile betrays him.
“Nah, your habits are annoying.”
“Well, good thing you like me then.” Sakusa presses a kiss to the top of Atsumu’s head, smiling as he selects a movie Atsumu has been wanting to watch.
They spend the evening curled up on the couch, exchanging hushed whispers over the movie’s dialogue, only getting up to receive take-out from the door. Afterward, they return to their cozy spot, legs tangled together. Atsumu doesn’t remember falling asleep, but he does remember the feeling of being gently lifted into Sakusa’s arms, carried to their bedroom. He recalls being tucked in, a soft kiss pressed to his forehead before Sakusa slips into bed beside him.
[ continuation: the next morning ]
The next morning, Atsumu wakes up feeling groggy. His head throbs, and his throat is scratchy. He instinctively reaches out for Sakusa, but the bed beside him is empty. Glancing at the clock, he sees it’s already 9:30 a.m. Atsumu sighs, contemplating staying in bed. It’s Sunday, and they have no plans, but his body aches, feeling heavy and sluggish. He considers getting up to take some medicine, but the thought seems too exhausting, so he stays put, eyes closed but unable to drift back to sleep.
He’s not sure how much time has passed when he hears the front door open and the soft sound of Sakusa’s footsteps approaching. The door to their room creaks open, and Sakusa slips inside, closing it quietly behind him.
“Atsu? You’re still in bed?” Sakusa whispers, gently pulling the blanket down from Atsumu’s face.
“I don’t feel good,” Atsumu groans. “You should stay away, Omi. You’ll catch the bug too—”
Sakusa interrupts by placing a cool hand on Atsumu’s forehead. “You’re burning up… How do you feel? Where does it hurt? Should I call the doctor?”
“Omi,” Atsumu shakes his head weakly, prying Sakusa’s hand away. “It’s fine, I’m fine. It’s probably the flu—I must’ve caught it from Osamu. I’ll be okay with some rest.” He coughs into his palm and groans as the ache spreads through his chest.
“I can’t leave you like this,” Sakusa protests softly. “I’ll make you some porridge. I’ve got the meds, but you need to eat something first.”
As Sakusa starts to leave, Atsumu grabs the edge of his sleeve, holding him back. “You won’t leave, right?”
“Baby, why would I do that?” Sakusa turns back, his expression softening as he looks at Atsumu.
“You don’t like being sick,” Atsumu murmurs. “You don’t like taking care of sick people.”
“You’re not just ‘people,’ Atsu,” Sakusa says, leaning in to place a tender kiss on Atsumu’s forehead, ignoring his protests. “You’re my boyfriend. I can take care of you just fine.”
Sakusa isn’t a great cook, and the last thing he wants is to burn down the kitchen while Atsumu is sick. So, he calls Osamu, who’s now feeling much better, for help. Over a video call, Osamu guides Sakusa through the steps, relieved that his brother is in good hands.
After carefully preparing the meal, Sakusa places the porridge and meds on a tray and brings them to Atsumu. He watches over him, making sure he finishes the food and takes the medicine. Once Atsumu is done, Sakusa slides into bed beside him, holding him gently under the blanket.
“You really shouldn’t be with me right now, Omi,” Atsumu mumbles, his voice weak. “You’ll get sick too.”
“If I do, you can take care of me,” Sakusa replies, running his fingers through Atsumu’s hair with a soft smile. “Just like I’m taking care of you.”
They spend the rest of the day in bed. It’s a slow, uneventful Sunday, but Sakusa is more than content to lie beside his boyfriend, watching him sleep and checking his temperature at regular intervals. Each time Atsumu’s fever goes down, Sakusa breathes a sigh of relief.
“How long was I asleep?” Atsumu murmurs, shifting to face Sakusa.
“Over two hours,” Sakusa whispers, cupping Atsumu’s cheek in his hand. “How do you feel, baby?”
“Much better,” Atsumu smiles, his voice still groggy. “You took great care of me, Omi. I’m surprised—I thought you’d run away or chase me with a giant bottle of disinfectant.”
“Oh?” Sakusa raises an eyebrow, a playful glint in his eyes. “You don’t know? I’ve already prepared a big bath for you, mixed with all kinds of disinfectants and soaps.”
Atsumu chuckles, burying his face in the crook of Sakusa’s neck, savoring the warmth that radiates from him.
Atsumu usually prides himself on his strong immune system. He rarely falls sick, unlike his twin who seems to battle the flu every other month. But this time, he doesn’t mind being under the weather. He relishes Sakusa’s gentle attention, the way he fusses over him with worried eyes and tender care. Being doted on by Sakusa, Atsumu thinks, is the best feeling in the world.
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[ back to the present ]
“That was the bet,” Sakusa finishes recalling, looking at Atsumu with a hopeful gaze, “It was stupid, I know that. But Atsu, every second I spent with you has been real.”
“It’s been a year, Omi,” He shakes his head- confused and tired, it’s been a long day and Atsumu wants to rest, “You’ve been hiding the truth for so long. How can I trust you now? What if this is just a cover up?”
Sakusa bites his bottom teeth, he feels hopeless. He has tried everything to convince Atsumu that his feelings are real but the boy in front of him doesn’t want to listen and Sakusa does not blame him because he has messed up. Sakusa had something so beautiful in front of him yet he failed to protect it, he failed to cherish it.
“I’m leaving, if this is all you had to say,” Atsumu looks at him, a broken expression on his face.
“Atsu..” Sakusa tries one last time.
Sakusa had been carrying this secret for weeks, a weight growing heavier with each passing day. He never imagined that he would reveal it like this—amidst the heated words and frayed emotions in their apartment, on the brink of breaking apart. This wasn’t how he planned it, not even close. But then again, nothing about Atsumu ever went according to plan. Sakusa had realized long ago that his feelings for Atsumu were beyond his control, unpredictable and overwhelming. And now, in this moment of raw vulnerability, there was no holding them back any longer.
Sakusa reaches for his jacket draped over the couch, his movements slow and deliberate. His fingers graze the inside pocket, finding the small box he’d kept hidden away. He hesitates, his gaze locked on Atsumu, who stands frozen in the middle of the room. With a steadying breath, Sakusa pulls out the box, the weight of what’s inside heavy in more ways than one.
“I’ve had this for weeks,” he begins, his voice soft but trembling at the edges. He opens the box to reveal a simple, elegant ring, its significance far more than its appearance. His eyes don’t leave Atsumu’s, searching for any hint of emotion. “I bought it after we watched The Notebook, when you cried like a baby over that cheesy ending. That’s when I knew,” his voice cracks slightly, “that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you.”
Atsumu’s breath hitches, but he doesn’t move, his eyes wide and glassy.
Sakusa swallows hard, his words coming out in a shaky whisper. “I can’t make you stay, Atsumu. I can’t undo the hurt I’ve caused, or the lies I’ve told. But I need you to know… loving you has never been a mistake. It’s always been my choice, every single day. And I’ll keep loving you, even if you decide to walk away.”
With that, he lowers himself onto the couch, placing the ring on the table between them, the distance feeling like miles. His hands drop into his lap, trembling slightly as he stares at them, unable to look up. “I’m sorry, Atsu. I’m so, so sorry for everything. The ring… it’s yours. Do whatever you want with it. Throw it away if you need to. Just… take it with you.”
The silence that follows is deafening, filled with everything they’ve left unsaid. Sakusa’s heart pounds in his chest, waiting for Atsumu’s response, knowing that whatever comes next will change everything.
Atsumu’s eyes are locked on Sakusa’s bent head. He stares at the ring, at the distance between him and Sakusa. Wordlessly, he stands up and occupies the seat next to him. His hand hovers over the ring, before he places it on top of Sakusa’s trembling hand.
“You’re an idiot, y’know that?” Atsumu’s voice is thick with emotion, a tearful laugh breaking through. He squeezes Sakusa’s hand, drawing a shaky breath. “But I’m just as much of an idiot, because I don’t want to leave. I don’t think I ever really did.”
Sakusa’s head snaps up, eyes wide with a mix of hope and disbelief. Atsumu meets his gaze, tears welling up in his eyes but a soft smile tugging at his lips. “We’ve got a lot to fix, a lot to talk about. But I’m not giving up on us. I’ll stay here with you, I’ll marry you, Omi. I’ll bug you every day for the rest of your life and you’ll regret asking me out.”
“I’ll never regret that,” Sakusa says quietly but firmly, “Atsu… I love you,”
“I love you too, ya idiot,” Atsumu lets out a shuddering sigh, as he leans forehead, his forehead touching Sakusa’s.
“Promise me you won’t leave?” Sakusa’s voice trembles, the fear beneath his words palpable.
“I won’t,” Atsumu promises, his voice steady. He extends his hand, a playful glint in his eyes. “Now, c’mon. Put the ring on so I can officially be your man.”
Sakusa can’t help but laugh, the sound rich and full, mingling with the tears in his eyes. He carefully picks up the ring, sliding it onto Atsumu’s finger with a tenderness that speaks volumes. Bringing Atsumu’s hand to his lips, Sakusa presses a soft kiss to his knuckles, looking up at him through misty eyes.
“My man,” he murmurs, testing the words as if savoring them. “That has a nice ring to it.”
“It sure does,” Atsumu smiles back, his eyes warm and full of love.
At that moment, Sakusa knows they’ll be okay. They still have so much to work through, but with Atsumu by his side, he feels a certainty he hasn’t felt in a long time. He loves Miya Atsumu and it’ll never change.