Chapter Text
“Smit, did you finally get rid of that creepy ass spider?” Eli chimed, laughter echoed through the headset as Smitty pulled it on.
He scoffed “Ha, yeah, not before it sunk its dirty little teeth into me,” a long pause.. “i swear if it poisoned me ill be so pissed.”
“You’d be dead by now if that was the case, spider venom wont take two days to kick in idiot.” Flom made a questioning sound. “But you never know, might turn you into Spiderman.” His character waddled into view, spinning as he talked.
“Theres a hyphen between spider and man, get it right.”
Bile titans chased after the four, thick plumes of dust circled their legs. An acidic glob of acid shot from one of their mouths, flying across the sky before scorching the earth as it collided.
“Just get to the extraction point, we cant take all three at once” Kryoz ducked underneath another lot of bile.
“Yikes John you’re gonna get injured if you keep being reckless like that.” Smitty received a loud boo in response.
“I’ll live, dont be so boring.” A wad of acid slammed against the back of the man’s head sending the snarky prick careening towards the ground. Very much dead.
A mixture of unintelligible words wheezed out between laughs erupted in the call. Smitty slammed his desk so hard a cup took flight whilst Kryoz aggressively tried to click the respawn button, to no avail.
“Stop giggling and pick up my samples. God forbid i don’t carry you this one time” John muttered trying to suppress his own laughter.
Now only three continued towards the extraction site. The titans were way too close behind, throwing a bomb would practically be suicide.
Bomb
That work irked him so much; It left a itching sensation at the back of his neck.
get back duck left EXPLODE!!!
What was that?
BOOM
“Shit, BOMB!” Just as the words left his mouth a large explosion rattled through the ground taking out two bile titans in its wake.
God he really needs to stop getting so invested in these games.
“I knew you could predict things but i didn’t realise it was that accurate” Eli jested. With that the call sprung to life in a chorus of agreement. Who knew three people could be so loud.
“Ha! Yeah, I was kidding before but maybe you really are spiderman” Flom snickered throwing an orbital towards the last titan.
“There’s a hyphen” he huffed sending the others into another laughing fit.
“Sorry mr. super-fan didn’t mean to offend” Smitty rolled his eyes throwing an orbital right at Flom’s feet.
“Eat shit, id be an unstoppable spider-man, imagine me swinging through the city.” He made the signature thwip movement as he spoke.
A long strand of silver flew towards where his hand was aimed.
Huh, he didn’t know that could happen. Thats normal right? Totally normal, everyone can shoot webs from the wrists. Maybe its not even a web, just some string from his shirt that’s surprisingly sticky. It’s definitely not related to that, thinking about it now definitely scarily green, spider that bit him a few days ago.
“ -tty? smitty you still there?” Eli’s voice cut through his thoughts.
“Hm? oh uh yeah sorry guys i gotta go.. something.. came up?” Technically the web was pointing up and if you squint real hard it really does look like cum. So its practically not an lie.
Kryoz’s character pulled up infront of him “You sure you’re okay man? sounding a little worried there.” That obvious?? okay deflect deflect.
“Oh look a bunch of murderous ghosts, bye guys!” The leave call sound effect flooded the headphones.
Of all the excuses someone could come up with ghosts? Seriously? Not too sure if spider-man also has the power to talk to the dead but there sure as hell isn’t a ouija board nearby.
Smitty sank down into his chair groaning, trying to cover his eyes to hide from the embarrassment.
In every spider-man story theres some miraculous, very noticeable, change. Surely he would’ve at least noticed gaining spider-man’s physique, no?
Spinning the chair around he timidly peaked over his fingertips to look at the mirror. In hindsight he is much more muscular - maybe going the gym wasn’t actually the cause but instead a very radioactive bug.
Fuck.
Maybe the webs are it, nothing has really changed and Smitty can go back to normal life without the awakening of some new life changing abilities.
Yes, definitely.
He’ll just go on a walk to clear his head and then send a message to the boys saying no he didn’t get a glimpse into the afterlife.
Slowly he began trying to rise from the chair. Keyword ‘trying’ because it was very much stuck.
Pretty much super glued the skin of his palms and the pant leg of his jeans against his chair. At least we know we can stick through clothing! That’ll be helpful, he thinks?
Taking a deep breath Smitty prepared to rip himself up, it would be very painful, maybe take off some skin, but what else is there to do? Live in the gaming chair forever? (2020 had enough of that thankyouverymuch)
As his first palm jerked up the armrest snapped clean off the chair. It stayed firmly attached to his hand. His hand, not the chair that its meant to stay on, his hand - which is flat palm pressed against the armrest.
If he can snap off a thick clump of plastic just by being sticky then a lot of damage could come from intentionally trying to destroy something. You bet your ass he was going to test it out.
After the sticking lets up of course.
if it ever does.