Chapter Text
Dipper, Mabel, Soos, Wendy and Stan were mingling around the gift shop while they waited the most recent batch of tourists to pick their merch and waiting for the next wave of visitors willing to spend money.
It’s been 3 years since the weirdmageddon. Of course, the Pines family kept the tradition of staying on the shack every summer, staying over with Soos and Melody since Stan and Ford had given them the place by the end of that first summer.
The “next batch” of tourists are currently having Melody guiding them, Soos had been feeling tired due to the absurd number of tourist groups and if anything, his wife loved being the tour guide. Stan had once claimed she was an honorary Pines after he watched her sell something he did not expect to be even possible to sell, which caused Soos to tear up in betrayal, then in pride.
Things were normal. A kid almost dropping a snow globe, which was saved by Mabel and avoided any screaming. Wendy was working in the cashier this year again, a small line forming but quickly dispersing as she finished ringing up the stuff and taking the money. Stan was quiet, as if still observing Wendy’s mistakes, even if the business wasn’t his anymore and he wasn’t her boss.
The vending machine creaked on its hinges as it opened, Ford showing up behind it and rubbing his eye, tired. They had all agreed that he needed to quit using that exit during sale hours if they didn’t want any tourists trying to find out how to open the hidden door. Stan wasn’t against his brother using the door because it caused people to use their money on it more, never guessing the password.
Dipper watched as Ford looked up, froze, then stomped towards one of the tourists, grabbing the guy by the collar before dragging him out of the shop and into the shack.
“I’m betting ten bucks on Mr. Pines.” Wendy said, without looking up from her work.
“I dunno...” Replied Soos, concerned about having a possible fight inside the house that is now his.
“We can’t bet on this, have you seen the other guy? Looks more like a stick with legs than anything. Sixer’s winning.” Stan replied, fake offense on his voice.
“I bet on romance!” Mabel announced, excited. Everyone looked at her in confusion, but quickly went back to their usual stances.
- ◬ -
Ford had just finished organizing his books after having yet another year of coming back to his lab and feeling like his past self was not sane when choosing the organization order for the books. He sighed, as he opened the door to the gift shop, rubbing his eyes after tiring them out by reading the faded covers, authors, and chapter titles.
When he looked up, however, he felt even more exhausted. Between the tourists in the shop, stood Bill Cipher, on the form he had once crafted to get Ford’s attention after a particularly flirty night. He wasn’t proud he remembered it in such high detail. He said nothing, just walked towards him, watching as the now-not-a-triangle's face crinkled with a smile as he approached, just for it to fade into confusion as he grabbed him by the collar and dragged him to the other, less-full-of-tourists part of the shack.
Bill only spoke when he saw Ford lock the door to the room and shake it a bit to confirm it was locked.
“Wow! I did not know you missed me that much-”
“Why are you here?” Ford interrupted him.
Bill stared at him for a few seconds, mouth open and excitement still there, not unlike when he was frozen thinking and had images flashing through his eyes.
“You remember how things were last time, right?” Bill asked, Ford raised a brow.
“Yes, we killed you.”
“Yeah! So, there’s this frilly guy upstairs and he-”
“Is that why you asked me to get rid of my axolotl?” Ford frowned.
“Damn, your memory is as good as always! Kind of, yes.” Bill’s smile was the same as the one he had in the shop for those fleeting seconds. It made Ford feel uneasy. “Me and him had a talk, then I was sent to the theraprism-”
“You went to therapy?”
“Confusion does not look good on you, Fordsy. Not like that, at least! Also, stop interrupting me.” Bill’s smile changed to a frown as he spoke, going back to a smile after his complaint. “I went to the theraprism, stayed there for veeery long, and now I'm here! It's like, a last step on my recovery? If you guys accept it, that is! Which I hope you do!”
Ford felt a headache starting behind his eye. “And you’re here alone?”
“Uh, no? There’s a guy with me, but they wanted to take the tour first.” Bill checks the window. “And considering the tour is ending, he’s probably looking for me right now.”
Ford looks outside, then rushes through the door. A few seconds pass with Bill waiting in silence until he hears quick stomps back to the room, and gets grabbed by the scruff to get carried back to the shack. Sheesh, Bill was glad he didn’t use this form much before, he didn’t know Ford would be so rude to it.
Back to the shop, he sees someone look at Bill and almost deflate as calm washed over them.
“There you are!” They said as they approached the two men. “I asked him to avoid announcing himself before I could talk to you, but it seems he refused to listen. I apologize.”
With the way they behaved, Ford could tell this was a human disguise.
“It’s okay, he did not announce himself. I could recognize him and got startled, that’s all.” He replied.
They eyed Bill with distrust. Interesting, Ford thought.
“Anyways, I imagine you are Stanford pines, correct?” Ford nodded. “I am Frank, I’m one of the workers of the theraprism-”
“Frank.” Bill started, getting the attention of the being, then gesturing around. “I don’t think you want to go in detail with people around us.”
“Of course. Are there any rooms we can talk about this in more detail?”
“Yes,” Ford looked at Stan, who was keeping an eye on him as he talked to the other two. “Come with me.”
Stan, understanding the hint, got up and followed the two. Dipper, who was paying attention on them, also got up and followed his grunkles.
Ford guided them to the table besides the living room, deciding the best spot for this is one with multiple chairs. Ford sat down, Frank and Bill on the opposite chairs to him, while Stan leaned on the wall nearby with crossed arms and dipper perched on the furniture.
“As explained before, Mr. Pines,” Frank started, apparently repeating for not only Ford but for Stan and Dipper, who joined them. “I’m one of the workers from the theraprism. I’ve been working with Bill for a while now, and I can guarantee he is doing infinitely better than the last time you interacted. I saw his memories so this is not based off of spoken retellings.”
“Because of his clear progress, we gave him a few options on how he’d like to spend his last trial before he’d get to be released from our care.” Bill seemed to vibrate with anxiety on his seat as Frank spoke, looking at Ford, then Stan, then Dipper. “In the end, he decided to stay in earth in a human...ish form.” Frank looked at Bill with furrowed brows. “We did allow him a few cosmetic choices, it’s not anything big and it can be easily hidden with both common and uncommon methods.” He said, having Bill extend his wrist to him.
Bill had a bracelet on, something Ford hadn’t noticed before but was now very obvious. Frank flicks something on the bracelet Bill has on. Instantly, changes are visible: Bill had, very clearly, a gradient on his arms. From his elbow to the tip of his fingers, the skin got darker and darker, getting pitch black before reaching his hands, and by the tip of his fingers he almost had the darker-than-black tone his arms and hands had as a triangle. His eye, too, stopped having a normal color and shape - now with the same glow and slit pupil that someone possessed by Bill would have. His nose, too, was weird, but that was like that before the change...
“As you can see, this bracelet can change that, but you can also just give him gloves and glasses.” He showed again, turning the device on and off a few times, before Bill recoiled from it, muttering something about ‘making it weird’. Frank cleared his throat before continuing. “This device, despite in my opinion not being necessary, also makes it impossible for Bill to hurt any of you physically.”
“And mentally?” Dipper asked.
“He is completely without his powers, if that’s what you’re worried about. He can however hurt your feelings, but we all know that actions have consequences, and I'm sure no one in the house will hesitate on showing him any consequences.” Frank now had a cruel smile on his face, which should be concerning to Bill, who didn’t seem affected by it. Noticing Ford’s eyes on him, Bill shrugged.
“So, you’re telling me that we can beat him up if he does anything wrong?” Stan asks.
“If, for any reason, Bill is the aggressor, yes. I trust you won’t be hurting him without need or for things that aren’t as serious.” Frank looked at Stan, who clearly had been planning to hit Bill whenever given the chance, making the twin scoff. “Besides that, he will be paying for his stay. With money, I mean.” And with that, Stan brightened up.
Frank, turning back to Ford, returns to his explanation. “We’ll be asking you, Stanford Pines, to be with Bill for at least his first few months. You can refuse, which would be less than ideal, but you can also decide if someone else should be taking care of him. He will be needing his basic needs met, such as food and somewhere to sleep. If everything’s alright, and the expected happens, he will be moving to live by himself or whoever is willing to take him after a few months. Any questions?”
“Many. But... The main one would be: Why me?” Ford looked wary.
“There are a few reasons, but the main one is that you were the first one in your family to summon Bill, all those years ago.”
“Is that really the strongest reason you could come up with?” He asked, slightly irritated.
“With all honesty, Mr. Pines, I don’t think you’d want me citing every single reason for this near your family, knowing your history with Bill.” Ford’s anger quickly faded from his face, turning into something closer to embarrassment as he crossed his arms and looked away from the two. “And for your other questions, I'll be sending you a document, which you can read all about this process and will give you every bit of information you might need. If you’re okay with everything, you can sign it, and you’re officially going to be taking care of Bill!”
“Fine, send me the document. I’ll sign it when I can.”
For everyone in the room but to Ford, the answer came too quickly.
“What?!” Dipper squeaked, despite the horrors of puberty and voice cracks being long gone. He looked in horror at Stan, who just shrugged at him. “You can’t be serious, right?! Grunkle Ford? Grunkle Stan?”
“Don’t worry, Dipper. I’ll make sure he won’t be-” Ford started, but was quickly interrupted.
“No! Why are you two even considering this? Have I missed anything after the ‘trying to kill us and conquer our world’ that is important enough for this to be an option?” Dipper’s voice almost cracked, the teen not believing everyone around him. The deafening silence and the avoiding glances told him that yes, something was in fact missing. He took a deep breath, still angry. “You know what? I’m not a kid anymore. I’ll give you guys until night to come up with a good way to explain this to me, so you better explain this well! No avoiding details, no lies, nothing! I’ll...” He deflated. “I’ll be in my room.” He said, then started his way upstairs.
“Yeesh, the kid’s got it rough against me. Can’t blame him, really.” Bill said, tone with surprise rather cruelty, a rare thing for the demon.
Technically Ford did not have to explain things to Dipper, but he respected the teen and he knew Dipper respected him back, he wouldn’t want to break that for anything. Explanation it is. He’ll have a hard time coming up with a good way to explain everything, though...
“The contract will be sent later; I hope Bill staying here until then won’t be an issue?” Frank asked, eye darting from one twin to another.
“He can stay. I’m going to the city to grab an extra mattress, tell Soos I'll be right back. You sort things while I'm gone.” Stan tapped Ford on his shoulder before leaving the room, leaving him alone in the room with Frank and Bill.
“I’ll be taking my leave, then.” Said Frank. “Hopefully I can communicate with you in case anything happens, and Bill-” They looked at the man by his side, genuine concern on his face. “Talk. If you need it. With me or anyone else, please talk. Okay?” Bill just nodded, eyes a bit wide at the honest emotion his doctor was showing. “Have a nice day, you two!” Frank said, before pressing something on his wristwatch – he had that before? - and disappearing from the room.
- ◬ -
“So, what you’re telling me is that you’re- You’re really staying?” Stan heard as he entered the room, back from his trip to town. Ford was apparently too entertained by his chat with Bill to notice his brother arriving, which he was planning to use for a few more seconds before he started talking.
“I mean, it can’t be that bad, right? Human lifespans are short, I’m not losing much. I was told that my time perception won’t be the same as one of you guys, but if the time I stayed at the theraprism was let’s say, 3 years? this would probably be... A month, or so. I’m not sure.”
Hearing Bill talk was weird. The voice was the same as before, the human form doing nothing to make the guy less annoying, but at the same time it was... Sadder? Not sad. Tired.
“And you’re planning to talk to pine tree soon?” Bill again. “I don’t know, I was planning to apologize when I had the chance, but I might do that sooner than I expected...”
“He was very affected by you, yes.” Ford’s voice was sad, Stanley noted. “I mean, everyone was, but... He has a younger mind, that’s when the bad things stick the most.”
“Lots of firsts at that age, huh...” Stan saw Bill nodding, regret on his voice.
“I wouldn’t say that ‘being a first’ was the main thing, otherwise the whole town would be forever scarred over their first ‘being turned into stone’.” Ford laughed.
That was... Such a casual laugh. The same laugh him and Stan shared when talking about life. Stan needed the subject to change. Now.
“Sixer, I'm pretty sure the whole town IS forever scarred over being turned into stone.” He approached the two, putting a bag in front of Bill. “It’s underwear, shirts, and pants. Probably not your size, but it’s better than nothing. You don’t have anything else on you, right?”
Bill, smiling, lifted a finger and opened his mouth, only to stop before any sounds got out, then frowned. “I don’t have anything, no. Thank you.”
Both twins looked at him as if he grew an extra head. No, worse, they’ve seen him grow an extra head and did not look as shocked as this.
“What? What did I do?” He asked, confused.
“You really did go through therapy. Impressive.” Ford said, after a few seconds of silence.
“What do you mean ‘you really did go through therapy’!? Of course I did! You might not believe me but Frank is a great doctor!”
“Just Frank?” Ford lifted a brow.
“No, not just Frank, the whole team helped. Frank was the nicest, though. I didn’t like him at first but then he told me how he ended up a doctor there. Can you believe he was an alien, a scientist, and even made a guy once? He was living on earth, too. Until, of course, his two assistants rebelled and killed him before going back to space. Crazy story!”
“I don’t like how much more you talk when you’re friendlier.” Stan said. “I don’t know where you’re gonna stay, but there’s a mattress on the back of the truck, and I’m not helping you with it. Good luck.”
And having decided he did not want in for the next subjects, Stanley left to his room.
- ◬ -
A knock on the door.
“Dipper?”
Ford, who finally managed to gather his words after a long chat with Bill, was determined to convince his grand-nephew that his choice was sane.
The teen answered the door, some of the tired anger on his face still visible from earlier.
Dipper gestured for him to go in, which he did, and sat down on Mabel’s mattress as he watched the boy lock the door and walk back in.
“Grunkle Ford you better not lie about this-”
“I know” Ford replied, holding one hand up, gesturing Dipper to calm down. “I’ll explain what you need to know, and I will go into detail where it is needed. Now, what-”
“‘Where it is needed?’” Dipper echoed his grunkle. “Really? Can't you just tell me the whole thing?”
Ford’s lips where set to a thin line. “I’ll let you choose if you really want to know more than necessary once I tell you the basics, okay?”
Dipper seemed to consider it for a few seconds, then nodded.
“As you might know, I’ve worked with Cipher for a long time. For, with, and against. For 30 years I wanted nothing more than a chance to kill him, which I did achieve when Stan quite literally took the shot for me. Despite that, I haven’t been able to relax as I wanted. The feeling of something... Something wrong, as if my brain knew Bill wasn’t dead, kept bothering me, day and night. Having a chance of keeping close track on him makes it easier for me to be able to relax, and knowing he’s unable to hurt us... It’s just good. I couldn’t refuse that opportunity.”
“That guy said something about ‘your history with Cipher’ being part of the reason you were the choice. What did you do to get such- such punishment for it?” Dipper asked, voice higher pitched than usual.
Ford sighed. “Dipper, my boy, in how much detail do you wish for this story to be?”
“As much as possible.” Dipper answered, determined. Ford was sure he would back up once they got where he’d rather avoid, so he nodded.
“When I was younger, I summoned Bill to this world- It was not his first time here, but he’d been limited for a long time by then. He claimed he was a muse, that he would give me the inspiration and everything I needed to be the best, which... I listened, and trusted him about it. He guided me through building the portal, and during that time he would often go on long breaks without showing up once, but also would sometimes be there with me even as I drifted to sleep, possessing my body when I finally did. He did so with my permission, since I trusted him with it.”
“He was manipulating me, of course. Whatever trust I had on him was misplaced, but he made sure to use it as much as he could. Because of that, we ended up in a relationship-” He cut his own phrase, seeing Dipper’s face scrunch up in disgust and confusion. “That lasted at least a few months. That, of course, meant a lot to me and to him. He was the only one to remember my birthday, in which he-”
“Okay, okay, that’s enough!” Dipper wildly gestured with his arms, Ford respecting his request and staying silent. “I don’t need the weird details! I did not need to know you guys dated at all but I guess that one’s on me!” He sighed as he calmed down. “So, the plan is to... Keep an eye on him and that’s it?”
“Yes. I’ll be paying close attention to him and making sure that he is indeed trying to follow whatever the theraprism wants him to. We’ll be working on getting him his own life as soon as we can confirm that.”
“And if we decide we want him around?” Dipper asked, making Ford stop.
“... If that happens, we can make a new plan.”
Dipper nodded, now overall more relaxed than before. The conversation was a success, Ford’s mind supplied.
“And who is ready to-!” Mabel started screaming, the sound muffled by the closed door, then kicked the same. “OUCH! Dipperrr, open the door! Are you being boy weird in there? Is that why you locked the door?”
“No! I- You know what, I'm not telling you anything. You’re find out about the mess the same way I did!” Dipper told his sister as he unlocked the door.
Mabel looked at Ford with light confusion as she saw her grunkle sitting on her bed, legs crossed.
“I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to tell you about it, too...” Ford started, preparing himself for yet another talk.
- ◬ -
Meanwhile, Bill struggled with the mattress. He could not lift the whole thing alone because his arms and hands didn’t seem to want to wrap around anything on the shape correctly, and the weight in general wasn’t exactly kind to whatever grip he managed. If he could, he would have screamed for Ford to help him long ago, but that would require him to go back into the house and find Ford, which he wished he could do, but the clouds on the sky above him didn’t seem to agree! He knew that if he went in the rain could start and ruin the mattress, or even worse, the wind that was now blowing the clouds into view would blow the mattress into the forest, only for it to be forever lost to the magical creatures in there.
So he tried and tried, until the rain started and had him push the mattress back to its safe spot inside the truck with nothing on his body and mind but panic. He ran inside, already wet from the quickly increasing summer rain, and thanked whatever he could as he saw Ford coming down the stairs and he entered. His old friend looked at his soaked clothes, and before Bill said anything, he offered:
“You’re going to need a bath. Come on, I’ll show you how the shower works.”
He smiled and nodded, following Ford around the house.
Man, this human thing is gonna be easy! He just needs to stay here until his lifespan runs out and he’s back to his full triangle glory! More confident than ever, Bill flipped the faucet Ford was currently pointing at and explaining. His confidence failed him when he noticed that, in fact, he was right underneath the shower head, and his action caused boiling hot water to rain on him.
Ford helped him afterwards, leaving when Bill finally focused enough on his instructions to be able to start showering with a decent temperature on the water. Maybe this human thing won’t be THAT easy, but Bill was nothing if not determined.