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As the nerves hit Gillian she couldn’t help but shake at the prospect of what the future held…what her future held. She knew today and tomorrow would be the days that would change her whole world.
As she finished readying herself she did one final pat down of her plain beige dress and headed downstairs. Her voice shaky and unsure as she said goodbye to her mother and headed out the door to the testing center for her faction test. The test that would change her life forever. The one everyone had to take when they turned 18. Today would give her the results of what faction she would belong to based on the inter-workings of her mind.
As she walked towards the testing center she thought to herself where did she think she belonged, where her place would be, would it be where she grew up? For the life of her she couldn’t contemplate just what that could be and couldn’t understand why she didn’t know like everyone else around her seemed to know. The test would tell her though and then she could be at ease that what faction she picked tomorrow would be the right one to spend the rest of her life in. As she opened the door she took a huge sigh and told herself everything was going to be alright.
Chapter 2: Chapter 2
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As she was waiting her turn she kept to herself. This was what she usually did. She found great joy in observing those around her. Studying facial expressions, body language, and behavior.
Everyone seemed so excited, confident, and sure of themselves. She wished she could feel that but coming from abnegation she knew that would be too vain wouldn’t it?! She was beginning to question everything now.
“Gillian Sawyers” the purple haired woman called out. As she got up and headed towards the door she felt a little more at ease at knowing in the matter of an hour she would know what she was going to do tomorrow in the choosing ceremony.
As she sprung awake she felt like she had only been in the simulation for minutes not the full hour. She looked over at the purple haired girl who she found out was named Veronica and asked her how she did and what faction she belongs in. Veronica handed her a note and told her to leave and go straight home and to not look at the note until she arrived home. She told Gillian that she should not stop or talk to anyone on the way or tell anyone about the note. If anyone asked why she finished so fast just to let them know she got sick and needed to go home right away.
Gillian put the note in her pocket and left the testing center. She shook the whole walk home and kept her head down to avoid any eye contact because she knew she could not mask the fear and confusion she felt after what just happened.
When she walked in the door she realized she was the only one home so she went straight to her room and shut the door and pulled the note out. As she set on her bed she held the note for what felt like hours before she could gain the confidence to read what Veronica had written. As she began to read her mind was racing. It stated “ Gillian, destroy this note as soon as you read it. Your test results came in as divergent. I know this might seem confusing so I’m going to explain the best I can. Divergent means you have a little bit of every faction inside your mind. You particularly scored high in abnegation, erudite, and dauntless. Divergents are considered dangerous and have to hide their true self from others especially those in erudite. That’s all I can say for now. If anyone asks you got abnegation. If I were you I would not pick erudite you will not be safe there. - Ronnie”
Gillian was so shaken by this she barely made it to the toilet to expel everything in her system into the bowl. She leaned back and couldn’t control the tears that began to fall. The test was supposed to tell her where she belonged it was supposed to pick for her. She never felt like she truly belonged anywhere she had always felt different from everyone else and I guess now she knew why. What she did know is she didn’t belong in abnegation anymore which she supposed just left dauntless.
Chapter 3: Chapter 3
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Gillian woke feeling like she hadn’t slept a wink. She went through her normal morning routine, cold shower, beige dress, flat shoes, and combed and braided her wet hair.
As she went downstairs her mother, father, and twin brother sat at the table waiting for her. “Gillian we didn’t see you yesterday after your test how did you score?” Gillian didn’t know if she could even trust her family so she simply said “it was what she thought and she knew what she would be picking today followed up with asking her brother if he got the results he expected.” He proudly stated “Yes and I’m very excited about today!”
As Gillian and her family headed to the choosing ceremony she walked behind them contemplating still on what she was going to do. As they walked in they were approached by Jeanine Matthews who was the leader of erudite. Jeanine and her father went way back as her father was a erudite born and grew up with Jeanine’s older brother.
As she approached Gillian’s breathe was knocked out of her…Jeanine was the most beautiful woman she had ever seen. Though she had heard stories about Jeanine she had never actually seen her in the flesh. When Gillian looked at Jeanine she started having a weird tingling feeling in her belly and lower down that she had never experienced before.
As she was distracted with this new found feeling she was interrupted by the most alluring voice she had ever heard. “You must be Gillian. Have you decided what you are picking today?” Gillian looked up into Jeanine’s gray eyes and she could have sworn her heart skipped a beat. “Yes, I do think I have. The test is supposed to tell us correct” Jeanine smiled the most beautiful smile Gillian had ever seen and said “ I want you to choose who you truly are and where you truly belong” with that she walked away.
Gillian couldn’t help but trail her eyes down and stopped at Jeanine’s ass. She felt her cheeks get red and embarrassment creeped in from what she assumed was sexual desire from looking at another woman’s body. Now she couldn’t help but think what if she did choose erudite. Would it really be so bad?
Chapter 4: Chapter 4
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Everyone was shuffled to their seats as the ceremony needed to get started. They were to sit in the faction they were born into and then as everyone made their choice they would be directed over to their new faction or if staying in born to faction would rejoin their families. The saying is “faction before family” once they make the choice, they have a new family within their faction of choosing and have to completely say goodbye to their born into families.
Today 67 newly 18-year-olds would be deciding on staying or picking a new faction. They would decide by slicing their hand and dripping their fresh blood into the faction bowl of their choosing. When this was done it was set and they would join that faction or become factionless. After the decision is made, they would all go through 6-months of training and then 6 months of a transitional period into their new or current faction working in a role decided by placement during initiation. After that then it is up to them to find a job and assimilate into society.
Gillian knew she had only a little time to contemplate what she was going to decide as they went in alphabetical order and Sawyer was close to the end. As they called her brother Flynn’s name, she began to panic internally she was next. Her brother walked up and sliced his hand and she watched as he dripped his blood into the glass for candor. Her brother had always been honest so this now in hindsight made perfect sense for him.
She now had even more nerves as most typically stay in their born faction and it causes a stir if too many leave. Her brother has now decided on another faction and she will to. What will this mean for her parents? Will they be outcasted because both of their children left? Her mind was fogged from everything happening. Her heart and mind were racing out of control and she could feel herself trying to catch her breath with no luck. As they called her name she stood to go up to the stage and make her choice and everything went black.
When she opened her eyes, she realized she had passed out. She looked up and she saw those beautiful gray eyes looking into hers “Gillian, you gave us all quite the scare are you okay?” All she could do was shake her head yes.
Jeanine reached her hand out for Gillian to grab to help her up. As they touched, she felt a spark and looking at Jeanine’s face she knew she felt it too. When she was standing again Jeanine said “After you make your choice, please get with your faction leader to take you to medical to get checked out please.” All she could do was again just shake her head yes.
As she walked up on the stage, she knew now there was only one choice to be made she was going to pick erudite. She sliced her hand and let her blood drip over the water indicating she had picked erudite. She looked to Jeanine and saw her flash a quick smile and then back to her stoic face she wore like a mask. What had Gillian gotten herself into? What was she thinking that her new faction leader who was 16 years older than her would actually be interested in her? Is she even into women? Is Jeanine into women? What are all these new feelings?
Before heading back with their new factions, they were given 5 minutes to say goodbye to their previous factions and families. She hugged her mom, dad, and brother and they said their quick goodbyes. Her mom whispered in her ear “I know what you are, I am the same. Be careful of Jeanine if she finds out you’ll be dead. I love you sweet girl Stay safe.” with that her mother and father turned and swiftly made their exit. Leaving Gillian standing mind racing even more than before.
Now she had even more mixed emotions fear, confusion, uncertainty, and maybe even still desire. Had she made the right choice or should she have stayed in abnegation and remained safe. Only time will tell. She was now officially an initiate for erudite and she had 6 months to prove herself or else she might end up factionless and outcasted by all or even worse dead at the hands of Jeanine Matthews.
Chapter 5: Chapter 5
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As Jeanine ushered the group of initiates out of the door towards the erudite headquarters, she pulled Gillian aside and said “Miss Sawyers come see me after the initiation welcome and I’ll direct you to medical to get a full checkup” Gillian still embarrassed from passing out again just shook her head and quietly muttered a “yes ma’am”.
Gillian couldn’t believe she passed out and everyone saw it. At that moment a girl came up to her and said “Hi I am Christina I came from candor. I saw what happened to you are you okay? You took quite the fall when you blacked out.” Gillian was shocked someone was actually speaking to her with what happened. She responded “Hi I am Gillian I am from abnegation. Well now erudite I suppose. I think I am okay. I just was overwhelmed seeing my twin brother choose candor knowing I was choosing erudite.” Christina said “I totally understand. I guess now we are family and we can take care of each other! I’ve never had a best friend before so maybe you and I could stick together.” Gillian smiled and nodded her head in agreement. Christina looped her arm around Gillian’s as they continued to make their way to erudite. Gillian was feeling better already about her decision.
When at the erudite headquarters lobby everyone was asked to hang tight for 5 minutes and help themselves to snacks and refreshments. Gillian grabbed a water and stood to the side with Christina. At that moment Jeanine Matthews walked to the front and stood on a podium. She briefly welcomed everyone to erudite and gave everyone the way the day would go. First step was to go to the front desk and get your class schedule for the next 6-months and your living arrangement details. Second step was to be given a tour of the classrooms and then walked to the dormitories where everyone found their living area and then to change into their new erudite clothing. Erudites wore shades of blue and gray. Lastly, everyone would gather in the dining hall for dinner and then bedtime.
Gillian was thrilled that her and Christina being the only female transfers were to share a dorm room and they also had the same class schedule with the other group of transfers. After they wrapped up the tour and were shown their room, they found clothes folded neatly at the end of their beds in just the right sizes. Gillian picked a pair of navy-blue slacks and a gray button-down shirt and gray flats. She had only every dressed in beige so this was a very strange feeling. When her and Christina were dressed and settled in, they headed down to the dining hall for dinner. When they arrived, a woman pulled Gillian aside and let her know she was instructed to take her to medical to be checked out. She went with her and after a quick look over she was all set to head back to the dining hall.
Dinner went well and Gillian got to try a hamburger for the first time which she really enjoyed. She also was able to try a soda which was fizzy and bubbly, she really enjoyed that too. After the meal she looked around in hopes to catch a glimpse of Jeanine but she was nowhere to be found. Christina must have noticed and asked her what she was looking for. Gillian quickly replied lying to her new friend that she was just observing the new environment.
When dinner was done, they headed back to their dorms for showers and bedtime as the next morning class sessions began at 7am. She was excited and nervous all at the same time as her new life is beginning now and she’s ready to figure out who she really is and what she is capable of.
Chapter 6: Chapter 6
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The first month of classes flew by and Gillian luckily had no time to think about Jeanine as she was fully engaged in her classes and Jeanine hadn’t been around either so that helped to keep her focus on her classwork and making friends with the other initiates. She discovered that her favorite class was psychology and that made sense to her with her strong interest in watching others and their behaviors. She also loved her research lab course where she got to test and experiment based on the daily topic.
She learned on her first day of classes that at the end of every month the initiates would be ranked and at the end of the 6-months the bottom 2 initiates would be factionless. Out of the 17 initiates Gillian was 17th her first monthly list. She was nervous being that close to the end of the grouping but believed in herself that she could get to at least 15th. So, she wouldn’t end up on the streets. She still had 5 months to prove herself but things were not looking good so far.
After finding out she ranked 17th she had a hard time focusing in class. When class ended, she packed up her books and rushed out of the room as she did this, she smashed into someone and her bag went flying. When she looked up to see who it was and apologize, she saw once again those mesmerizing gray eyes looking back at her. Gillian quickly said “I am so sorry Ms. Matthews I wasn’t even looking I hope you are okay.” Jeanine smiled and said “I am fine Ms. Sawyer I was actually looking to speak with you. Do you have a minute?” Gillian was shocked but smiled and said “Yes, of course.” Jeanine went on “I’ve noticed where you have been ranking and was wondering if you think you could benefit from a tutor? I would be happy to meet with you once a week on Wednesdays from 4pm-6pm if you are open to that? Keep in mind it would have to be a secret I don’t do this sort of thing for anyone else but I feel a pull to help you.” Gillian responded right away “That would be very kind of you to help me and I will gratefully accept it. I will make myself available to have you help me. I really do not want to lose my spot here at erudite.” Jeanine smiled and replied “Wonderful, we will begin Wednesday my office 4pm.” With that she turned and walked away.
Gillian hoped this would help her to do better on the weekly tests and quizzes but she was beginning to wonder if instead this would just be a distraction. Either way Gillian really had no other options she desperately wanted to stay in erudite especially since she now has a few friends for the first time in her life and not to mention this way she can remain closer to Jeanine even if nothing has come of her feelings and likely wouldn’t.
The weekend and Monday and Tuesday dragged on as Gillian was excited for her first meeting with Jeanine on Wednesday. The day had finally arrived and when class let out, she went straight to Jeanine’s office and arrived promptly at 4pm. Jeanine’s door was ajar and she motioned for Gillian to come in and pointed to have her close the door and then pointed to a chair as she finished up a phone call. Gillian set down and started twiddling her thumbs while she waited. Nervousness washed over her sitting with Jeanine alone in her office. She realized she had never. been alone with Jeanine. What if she said something stupid or did something weird? All she could do was try to keep breathing and keep her cool.
“Hey Gillian, sorry about that I didn’t expect that to run past 4pm. Thank you for being on time. I was thinking for these sessions we could go over what you learned last week in class, this week, and start on the next week as well. I want to set a plan for studying and how we can break down the material for you. From what I have heard from your teachers is you know the material but maybe just have test anxiety so I want to dig deeper on that as well and see how we can help you test better. How does that sound?” Gillian was overcome with a warm feeling because Jeanine actually really seemed to care and want to help her. She had never experienced this before. She responded “First thank you Ms. Matthews for being open and willing to help me. I am not sure why you want to but I am grateful and am ready to jump into your plan you organized and hope to score better.” Jeanine nodded and said “I want to help because I see your potential and I also see myself in you too. Let’s get started and see if we can’t get your ranking up. Also, when it is just you and I you may call me Jeanine.”
The first session went well and both her and Jeanine were purely focused on studying. She felt better prepared for this week’s test and quizzes and felt hopeful for the first time since she got her first placement score of 17th. She was now excited to see where she would rank in the next ranking release in 3 weeks.
The weeks went on and before she knew it, she had received her rank for months 2, 3, 4, and 5. She went from 17th to 15th to 12th to now standing at 9th. for the past 2 months. She was thrilled that she was making progress all with the help of Jeanine. They had kept the first few sessions purely focused on tutoring and didn’t discuss anything else. Gillian had secretly hoped for more but didn’t want to push it. As they got comfortable in their Wednesday sessions, they began to get to know each other a little. They both enjoyed observing others and studying behaviors. They both had a love of dogs and cats but had never owned any. They also both liked the same music. They both seemed to really enjoy these sessions and each other’s company.
When she found out about her ranking of 9th, she was so excited to go to tell Jeanine about ranking she almost couldn’t sit still until the end of class. One more month and then she would be able to get a research assignment for 6-months and then be a full fledge member of erudite.
She ran into Jeanine’s office without even knocking and found Jeanine at her desk with her head in her hands crying. She immediately apologized and went to leave but Jeanine said “It’s okay Gillian come in and close the door please. I don’t want anyone else to see me like this. It’s just been a hard day. It happens to even me sometimes.” Gillian didn’t know what overtook her but next thing she knew she was walking over and hugging Jeanine. Jeanine didn’t pull away at first so Gillian didn’t stop and the she looked up at Jeanine and started to go in for a kiss, but then Jeanine pulled away and said “We shouldn’t do things like that. I appreciate you wanted to comfort me but I am okay. As your faction leader and you being an initiate physical touch and kissing is inappropriate and won’t be happening again, I am sorry if I’ve misled you at all.” Gillian quickly recoiled and mumbled an apology trying to keep her mounting tears in. She quickly turned on her feet and left as fast as she could. She felt like Jeanine could feel her disappointment and embarrassment with the rejection but she didn’t care she needed out of there so she could cry.
The next day Gillian received a note from Jeanine that read “I feel it best we cancel the remaining study sessions we have scheduled. I have faith that you will be able to get through the last 4 weeks and will get an awesome research assignment. Keep shining and being you! Maybe our paths will cross again in the future until then all the best, Jeanine.”
Gillian was crushed.
Chapter 7: Chapter 7
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7 Months Later
The past 7-months have flown by in a blink of an eye. Gillian ended her first 6-months placing 8th out of 17th. She was able to get a research project in the psychology department which she was so excited for and far exceeded expectations. Today marks her graduation from her first year at erudite where she rolls off and is an official erudite. Prior to her roll off she applied to a few positions in the psychology lab and got the one she wanted where she will continue pursuing her love of human behavior and observation.
She even gets housing near her work site which she is excited for but also nervous it will be the first time she has ever lived alone and she’ll miss Christina. Christina won’t be far she is in the building right across the street. In the past 7-months she has only seen Jeanine in passing and neither acknowledged the other.
Graduation was quick with 14 of the 15 initiates that got through the first 6-months making it officially into erudite. It was nice to be recognized for their accomplishments. This is something Gillian has grown to enjoy because when she was in abnegation wanted approval and recognition would be frowned upon. After graduation the group went to the only bar and grill hang out in erudite for some food and to say their goodbyes before they all went their separate ways and down new paths within their desired fields. Gillian didn’t stay long as she was exhausted and a bit emotional being in close proximity to Jeanine for the entirety of graduation.
Over the past 7-months Gillian had a lot of time to reflect and she realized she was in fact a lesbian and that she was in love with Jeanine. She realized that with some time those feelings for Jeanine would die away or at least she hoped and she could eventually find a nice woman and settle down. Until then she was happy to dive in and focus on her career and where that would take her future as well as her continuation of hiding the fact that she was divergent from the world. She knew that part of her would never be accepted so it was best to push it down inside her and be purely erudite it was the only way to remain safe.
4 Years Later
Gillian woke and looked in the mirror fixing her hair back in an erudite slicked back pony tail. She had let her hair grow out the past 4 years and it now set at her chest. She put on her favorite navy-blue pant suit with white silky blouse. Today was a big day for her, she was graduating with her degree in psychology and winning a prestigious award for her work in creating a program to help build research and development on the mind and behavior of factionless compared to those who remain initiated into one of the five factions. Only one other person received such an award at a younger age and that was Jeanine Matthews when she was 21 years old, Gillian now being 23 was the second youngest. She has spent the past 4 years working in her lab job as well as pursuing her degree. It was important to her to have the education and research hands on experience to be more well-rounded and it clearly has paid off.
She picked up her degree at the erudite university as they didn’t offer an official graduation with a cap and gown but that was fine with her. Then a few friends from work and of course Christina were meeting at the bar & grill for a few drinks and to celebrate Gillian’s award and degree. Christina had recently got engaged to a guy named Will she met at work and Gillian was thrilled for her as Will was a really nice guy and loved Christina very much.
When she walked into the bar everyone yelled surprise! Gillian was in shock for all the fuss over her and the party that Christina had arranged was more than just a small gathering. As she looked around, she saw a few others who were initiates in her class, co-workers, Christina, and the last person she thought would come to celebrate her. Starring back at her were those same beautiful gray eyes she longed for, dreamed of, and still after all these years loved. The one and only Jeanine Matthews.
Gillian couldn’t believe her eyes. Jeanine and her had both seemed to do their best to avoid each other over the years only seeing each other a few times and never speaking and here she was to celebrate Gillian’s achievements. Why now? Before she could dwell on that Christina ran up and hugged her. “I know you didn’t want anything big but I know how hard you’ve worked so I had to.” “It’s okay Christina. I appreciate you and you putting this together for me, I better go get a drink and mingle. I’ll talk to you in a few.”
Gillian walked through the crowd heading to the bar and said hi to a few old faces. When she made it to the bar, she ordered a vodka tonic and behind her came that voice. The one that brings her to her knees “Make that two please.” Gillian turned to see Jeanine and Jeanine said “Hi Gillian, it’s been a long time, too long. I’ve been watching you from afar and I am so proud of you. I thought it was time I came and told you that face to face and celebrate how far you’ve came. I’ve missed our friendship.” It took Gillian a minute to respond as she was in shock that Jeanine Said she missed her. When she came back to the present she replied “Hi Jeanine, it really has been a long time. I am happy you came tonight and it is good to see you. You look as beautiful as always…and I’ve missed your friendship too.” This made Jeanine smile that alluring smile. “I’ll leave you to your big night but I just needed you to know how proud I am of you. My assistant will be reaching out soon about an opportunity I would love for you to consider.” Jeanine leaned in and patted her shoulder and turned and walked into the crowd. Gillian was blushing and for the first time in a few years she thought maybe Jeanine could fall in love with her too.
Chapter 8: Chapter 8
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The next week Gillian received a call from Jeanine’s assistant. The opportunity she had mentioned was one to travel with Jeanine and a few other erudite board members to visit the factionless population and meet with their “leader”. It would be an overnight trip staying in a hotel in candor as it was the closest faction to get to the factionless. She would need permission from her supervisor before committing. Gillian thought what a great opportunity it would be especially being able to see the factionless and study their behaviors in the flesh. Gillian immediately went to her supervisor and once she had his permission, she called Jeanine’s assistant back to say yes. The trip was 5 days out so Gillian had a few days to prepare for the overnight trip and being in close proximity to Jeanine.
The next 5 days raced by and it was Monday afternoon and the car was set to pick Gillian up any minute. It was a 2-hour drive to get to the hotel on the outskirts of candor. They needed to make a stop at candor for Jeanine to meet with the leader there first. Jeanine and the 2 other erudite board members were in the car already. Gillian put her overnight bag in the back and was sat in the middle of a man named Phil and Jeanine on the other side, the other board member a woman named Helen was up front. Gillian’s leg gracing Jeanine’s was going to make this 2-hour ride difficult for her to focus on anything other than the fact they are touching.
They arrived at candor just after 4pm and Jeanine went into the building to meet with the candor leader while Gillian, Phil, and Helen waited and stretched their legs at a park across the street. Jeanine came out just after 5pm and they headed the last 20 mins to the hotel. When they arrived at the hotel, they all got their bags from the car and went to check in. Phil checked in first and then waved goodbye for the evening. Helen checked in next and did the same. Gillian was up next and they weren’t able to pull a registration for her room. Jeanine jumped in and took over to try to rectify the situation but the hotel was sold out for the evening as candor was having an event that brought in others from other factions. Jeanine checked in and pulled Gillian aside and asked her “if you are comfortable, I would be happy to share my room, it is only 1 night and we are both women and adults it should be no problem. Gillian replied “I don’t want to sleep in the car so I would say that is my only option and we can make It work.” Oh gosh, what was Gillian going to do sharing a room with Jeanine…a bed.
When they got to their room there was a king bed and a small chair. Gillian immediately offered to sleep in the chair but Jeanine said that was nonsense and they could share. They ordered room service for dinner and caught up on projects they’ve worked on over the years and the main project of why they were there the factionless society. Jeanine wanted to find a common ground with them and see if they could be used for her advantage to make the other factions better by having them do jobs no one else wanted to and in return they would provide updated housing and a food distribution system to those factionless that are willing to work. She wanted Gillian there to work in the background to observe the people and work on analyzing if they are buying the idea or have hesitations. Gillian agreed to do this for the greater good.
It was time for bed and they both slid into their perspective sides without saying a word. They both turned at the same time and almost collided front to front. Gillian could have sworn Jeanine blushed before she flipped the other way. It took Gillian hours to fall asleep hearing the soft lull of Jeanine sleeping and her scent filling the air and encompassing the sheets. Gillian finally fell asleep and slept hard until she awoke when the sun rising filled the darkness. She found the one and only Jeanine Matthews cuddled up holding her with her leg over her like she was a body pillow. Gillian tried to squirm to slide out of Jeanine’s embrace but had no luck and only ended up waking Jeanine. Jeanine quickly said “Don’t get confused I was only cuddling you so close because you stole the blankets and I had no other way to keep warm.” Gillian replied “You could have nudged me to give you the blanket back. Admit it you liked cuddling me.” Jeanine quipped “I will do no such thing it was purely to keep warm.” They both laughed and slid apart. Jeanine smiled at Gillian and said “it’s nice to see you still have a sense of humor.” Gillian looked Jeanine in the eyes and said “You might find not a lot has changed about me.” She then winked at Jeanine. Out of impulse Jeanine grabbed Gillian and kissed her hard and fast. Gillian pulled away out of shock. Jeanine quickly said “I am sorry I don’t know what came over me. I thought maybe that’s what you meant that your feelings for me hadn’t changed.” At that moment there was a knock at the door. Phil yelled through the door “Car is leaving in 10 mins we need to go ladies.” Gillian and Jeanine quickly got changed and ready to leave without saying a word. They rode to the factionless without a word or a look.
When they arrived at the factionless, they met with the leader Evelyn and a few of her top trusted alliances and her security team. Gillian saw a new side to Jeanine during this meeting she was poised and determined with a terrifying vibe. She now understood why some thought she was scary. Gillian was having trouble focusing on her task she was given for the meeting because her mind kept wandering to the kiss. The kiss that changed her life, her first kiss ever. Could she admit that to Jeanine or is that a turn off. Guess it doesn’t matter because she knew Jeanine deeply regretted the kiss and it wouldn’t happen again.
Gillian snapped back to it and watched the faces, hands, shoulders, and overall body language and facial expressions of everyone in the room. Taking notes as she did this, it was like no one in the room even knew she was there. It seemed like Jeanine was winning Evelyn over and that she was considering this as a possibility. The meeting wrapped with handshakes and a promise from Evelyn to discuss it and get back to erudite within a week was made.
Jeanine, Phil, Helen, and Gillian all got in the car and began the 2-hr drive home. Jeanine seemed to only be speaking with Helen and Phil and ignoring Gillian’s existence. Even making her sit up front alone with the driver. Gillian didn’t understand what she had done Jeanine was the one that kissed her. Gillian was the last to be dropped off aside from Jeanine. Gillian asked Jeanine if she had a minute to discuss a private matter. Jeanine said “Please call my assistant tomorrow and ask her if we can set something up next time, I have an opening.” Gillian replied “Never mind just forget about it, clearly what is important to me isn’t to you so I’ll email over mt notes and we can go back to not speaking for years. Best of luck, Jeanine.” With that Gillian shut the door and stormed off.
Chapter 9: Chapter 9
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Jeanine slept horribly that night she tossed and turned for hours. Was she making it up in her head that Gillian had pulled away? Should she had just heard her out to see what she had to say? She also kept thinking about the kiss and the way Gillian’s mouth felt against hers. It had been 20 years since she last had a partner with regular kisses and sex but even this kiss felt more than what that relationship was. She realized she hadn’t even indulged in a meaningless one-night stand since she had first meet Gillian 5 years prior. She had to talk to Gillian, she had to work this out. She’s been stubborn for 4 years it was time she gave into her desires and followed her heart and laid it all out for Gillian. But first she needed to fully focus on getting Evelyn to agree and the project started.
It only took 3 days to hear back from Evelyn, after careful consideration Evelyn let Jeanine know, they would be willing to do a trail run and lend out 40 factionless to be trained to do the work needed and in return they would get funding for a new apartment complex and of course food distribution to those 20 and their families. She said after 6- months if it isn’t working out, they were done and owed erudite and the other factions nothing but if it does work out, she will deploy another 40. Jeanine agreed and they made plans for another meeting at erudite to go over details and kick this new project off. Jeanine was so excited and the person she wanted to talk about this success was Gillian. She called her without thinking. No answer, so she left a message “Gillian, it’s me Jeanine. I have great news about partnering with the factionless. Please call me back or come by my apartment at 7pm to celebrate with me. I am sorry about how things ended the other day. I am ready to listen and talk if you will still be open to it. Thanks.” She hung up and knew she would be on edge to see if Gillian would show or not.
Gillian listened to the voicemail and smiled she was so happy that Jeanine seemed to receive such good news. She was still so hurt over the other day she wasn’t sure if she was ready to talk or not. She was going to make a last-minute decision and see how she felt at the end of the day. The day snuck up on her and before she knew it the time on her watch showed 6pm. She rushed home and showered, shaved, styled her hair, and rushed out the door. She was going to be late but she was going to rush anyways.
Jeanine looked at her watch 7:08pm, she held back her tears at Gillian not showing. She thought for sure she would have maybe Jeanine had been so wrong about so many things and feelings. Before she could dive too deep in self-pity the doorbell rang. When she opened the door, she couldn’t help but smile at Gillian looking back at her. “I am so sorry I am late. The day got away from me and I needed to get showered and ready before coming over.” Jeanine responded “It’s okay, it’s fair really with how I treated you the other day to keep me waiting.” She winked at Gillian. Gillian said “Congrats by the way on the deal with factionless. I assume it went through with what you said on the voicemail.” “Ah yes,” said Jeanine. She continued “Evelyn said they will deploy 40 to us for 6-months and see how it goes and after that if it goes well, we will continue deploying more. Overall, I would say a win. But why I really wanted you to come over was to discuss my behavior the other day and hear you out on what you wanted to tell me”
Gillian was shocked that Jeanine wanting to speak about the other day rather than celebrate such a huge win for the factions but she could go with it. Gillian replied “That is amazing I’m happy they agreed. I would like to hear you out first on how you interpreted the other day and why you were so cold after if that is, okay?” Jeanine shook her head yes and began speaking. “First, I sincerely apologize I shouldn’t have been so cold and should have been open to chat with you privately. When we kissed, I hadn’t planned it I just went with instinct and when you pulled away, I took that as rejection and closed down. If you did pull away because it was unwanted, I am sorry. If that wasn’t the case then I would like to hear that from you so it can ease my mind on what happened.” Gillian laughed a little and replied “Jeanine, don’t you know by now I wouldn’t reject you. I am so crazy in love with you and have been for years. That was just my first kiss and I had wanted it to be more special and then when Phil knocked on the door, we both seemed to shut down. That is what I wanted to tell you that night and I wanted to ask you if perhaps you wanted to try again” “There is nothing I would like to do more” Jeanine went in for the second kiss, she pulled back and said was I really your first kiss?” Gillian smiled and shook her head. “I hope I am your first everything.” Jeanine winked and kissed Gillian. As they kissed Jeanine slowly backed them into her bedroom knowing how this night would end. She would take it slow and make Gillian’s first time perfect.
Jeanine’s POV
Gillian gasps, her fingers gripping tighter in my hair as I tease her with my mouth. I take my time, savoring every single inch of her soft skin. My lips travel across her chest, leaving a path of wet kisses, and I feel her flinch with pleasure.
I move to her chest and I take her nipple into my mouth, sucking gently. Gillian moans louder, her back arching off the bed as she presses her body against mine. I can feel her wetness growing, her body responding aching for me and my every touch. I let myself go and let go of all the reasons that were holding me back from Gillian how badly I craved her over the course of all these years and how much I love this woman.
I move to her other nipple, giving it the same attention, sucking and licking, feeling her arousal growing beneath me knowing what she wants from me next.
I finally pull her panties off, the fabric soaked with her wetness. My mouth trails down her body, leaving a path of kisses, my lips grazing her skin, making her squirm even more.
When I reach between her thighs, I stop, looking up at her, my eyes locking onto hers. "Are you sure?" I ask, voice laced with desire. She looks me in my eyes and says “Yes, God Yes. I need you.”
I proceed to trail soft kisses up her thigh wanting to make this perfect for her first time. I stop at her entrance the smell intoxicating and go in with a long slow lick from her hole to her clit. Gillian lets out a loud moan of approval. This only encourages me more and I continue to lick and suck. I slowly put one finger inside her and add another and then another fucking her with my fingers while sucking her clit. Gillian moans out “I’m going to cum. I’m close” followed by a scream of pleasure her legs shaking and collapsing from complete pleasure.
Gillian’s POV
Gillian is slowly trying to get her senses back after the most incredible feeling she’s ever felt from what Jeanine did to her. She knew she needed and wanted to return the favor but was nervous as she’s never done it but the desire outweighed the hesitation. Gillian said without thinking “sit on my face” Jeanine wasted no time and positioned herself over my face with her knees on either side.
The scent of her arousal is intoxicating, and it takes all my self-control not to dive in. As she finishes positioning herself over my face, I can’t stand it anymore I have to taste her.
My mouth envelops her clit in a gentle suckle while I slide both hands around her ass to grip her and push her wetness into my face even more. She bucks against me at the contact, gasping out my name with a moan. It was the most incredible sound I’ve ever heard.
“Faster” she begs me and her wish is my command as I lick and suck faster and harder. She continues to grind on my face. Going faster and faster until she lets out a loud moan of pure bliss and falls to the side of me and pulls me close. She grabs my face and kisses me hard and long. “Gillian, I love you and I want to be with you forever.” “I love you too, Jeanine. I’ve waited 5 years for you and I would have waited forever.”
We both fall asleep holding one another. I am hopeful now more than ever she is my future and I’ll get to explore her body again and again. What an unconventional love this is.