Work Text:
There was a moment, a beginning, when William Wisp didn’t recognize himself.
He had been sitting in his bed in the Elementals Hall, scrolling through old photos on his old phone when he came to the realization that he didn’t recognize himself. At first it was a jarring, frozen thought to have.
It was so jarring, in fact, that he stood up and, with stiff movements, made his way into his bathroom to stare in the mirror.
He blinked, and bright blue eyes blinked back. Not the warm, brown ones that he had seen in his own reflection before he turned sixteen. And not the dull ones that he witnessed the literal life draining from in those months when his body and mind were falling apart. Instead, bright, determined eyes looked back at him.
And, considering he hadn’t been wearing a shirt, those eyes were driven to one of his newest, potentially favorite additions to his bodily accessories.
A tattoo; his third, after a ‘PD’ one matching with the other Prime Defenders and another of a few sheet ghosts for Ashe, Dakota and Vyncent.
It was by far the biggest, stretching from his clavicle (Tide had always been supportive of his boys’ tattooing whims as long as they could “be hidden in court”) to his lower stomach. Tattooed in a line across that stretch of skin were about 30 surgical stitches.
It had been Dakota’s idea. After the battle with the Trickster, and the fatefully traumatizing event of being torn apart and brought back to life in a new body, his friend had asked him if it was good that, with a new body, there was no damage left to remember the…incident.
“No sick scar, though,” Dakota had mourned for him.
That had made William think. Yes, he realistically wouldn’t ever need a reminder of what was arguably one of the worst events in his…life? Unlife?
But it would be nice to have one, as a way to prove that, in the end, he had survived it. So, after arranging the appointment and spending the rest of his meager Rusty’s savings, he’d ended up with a little something to mark his success of surviving. Dakota said that Ms. G would have called it his “resilience”.
So, no longer did he recognize the black haired, slouching teenager in his photos from a mere year ago.
Now, and he hadn’t noticed until the change had become more drastically noticeable, his hair was predominantly white. He still had a few strands of black here and there, including a good section close to his neck, thanks to Ashe’s hair dyeing expertise, which he favored quite a lot.
Sure, the hair had changed more and more the longer he’d fully been acting as ‘The Wisperer’. And sure, the change, he’d now realized, was welcome. But he was happy that there were still some sections of him still there. Not The Wisperer, the guardian of the Spirit World, just William.
His face had changed, too. The shape hadn’t been altered much but it looked more…fitting. As if, finally, he looked his age. He’d always appeared quite young, especially before he’d switched from glasses to contacts (which were much more tactical for superhero-ing). But now he felt like a nearly nineteen-year-old…he felt like him.
The number of piercings he’d gotten certainly helped as well. Once the Trickster was defeated and he wasn’t constantly on the run, his friends had begun goading him into getting them, and well, he couldn’t help it. Maybe it was his subconscious joy at pushing back from his strict upbringing, but he thought they were fun.
At first, he’d just had a piercing in each ear (something his parents had detested when he’d first gotten them done—only a few months before he’d died, actually). Now he had the bridge of his nose, septum, and lip pierced.
They definitely made him look more adult. Tide was surprised, but eventually approved. Ashe pierced his nose, and was wildly for his addition of more. Dakota said he looked like a badass every time he’d gotten a new one. Vyncent said they complemented his features, which made him blush more than he’d like to admit.
His face alone had changed insurmountably quite quickly, but, for once, that knowledge didn’t form the usual pit in his stomach. It made him feel…happy. That time in his life, some of which he spent miserable and quite literally decaying, physically and mentally, was over. But here he was.
After what could have been minutes of staring at his reflection, he pulled up his phone and held it up next to his mirrored head. On the screen was the last photo he’d been looking at: it had been taken by Vyncent, the day after they met Ashe. The four of them were sitting in the Winters’ cabin, hours after the blood rain and planetary attack on New Haven.
They’d been playing with a dusty Jenga set. Dakota had been laser-focused on his turn, eyes squinting with precision. William was captured in a fit of laughter, and Ashe was grinning from where they were laying against Dakota’s knee. Vyncent’s smiling face was in the corner, and William took a moment to look fondly at it before returning to the task at hand.
He zoomed into his own face and looked back and forth between his reflection and the photo. The difference was quite shocking to see side-by-side, but it yet again confirmed his current hypothesis.
William Wisp was so much happier now, and you could see it on his face. He couldn’t help but smile as he stared at himself and let the thought sink in. He was actually really content with his current position in life. For the first time in years, he felt like he knew where he was and what he was doing.
It had taken a long time, but he was finally starting to feel suited to his role as The Wisperer. The longer he spent time in the Spirit World, the more homely it became. He was beginning to see it for all of its beauty, and embrace it all the same.
He felt clearer in mind, as well.
Partial credit could be given to one of the bottles of medication that sat on his bathroom counter, which, after a notably shitty week soon after the Trickster’s defeat, Tide had helped him acquire.
It seemed as though, without his knowledge, he’d begun forgiving himself. Sure, there was still weight he’d carry with him for…possibly the rest of his life. But as the months went on, he began to lose the smell of smoke that had once terrorized his every waking sense the moment he started to panic.
More than that, he’d started finding himself happy—well, maybe not happy, but certainly more grateful—to be alive. For the last few years it had been such a weight on his shoulders. He was already dead , why couldn’t he have just stayed that way? It would have been better, surely, better for everyone. When his heart was beginning to start, and his fingers were beginning to stain purple with decay, he’d almost been looking forward to it.
That had been a thought he’d only voiced once, sobbing into Dakota’s arms during that fateful week. It was a scary feeling, being so content in the idea of ending. Being so welcoming. Maybe he could play it off as being dead already. Returning to the ground, or something.
But Dakota had phrased it differently. He’d phrased it as a sickness. Not in a cruel, critical way whatsoever. When Dakota said it, his face did the thing it did, when his eyebrows drooped and his eyes softened. That was his empathetic face. That was the face that came out when Dakota Cole was getting serious, and William had deduced, speaking from personal experience.
That phrasing was revolutionary for William Wisp. It had been the first, possibly the only thing, that made him realize that maybe, it wouldn’t be like this forever. Maybe it would be there forever, but maybe, just maybe, it wouldn’t always be this bad.
And Dakota Cole, as he always was, was right.
Sure, he wasn’t great right then, but he wasn’t as bad. Things weren’t great, but they were good enough to be worth wanting to keep going.
And in that moment, William Wisp did feel happy. He felt proud of how he’d changed, in terms of his face and his hair and his mind, and he wanted to put this happiness to good use, despite how late it may have been. He was always so negative, and didn’t want to waste this feeling when he could use it to do something good.
He pulled his phone down and typed out a quick message.
are you free?
Thankfully he only had to wait a moment before Vyncent’s reply popped onto the screen.
William, it’s 1:30 in the morning.
After a moment:
Yeah.
William pumped his fist and turned off his phone, gave one last look at his reflection and hurried back into his room to put on a shirt.
* * *
One of the many good things about his newfound Wisperer abilities was that he didn’t need to worry about the matter of getting transportation (though his tried-and-true GhostKart had always been a solid option before) or sneaking out of the house anymore.
All he had to do was picture where he wanted to go—Vyncent’s dorm room, in this case—and do a funky hand motion that took him embarrassingly long to perfect, and a portal of swirling wisps and blue light appeared in front of him.
He stepped in, felt the wind on his face and nauseating turning of his stomach, and stepped out in his desired destination.
Vyncent’s dorm hadn’t changed since the last time he saw it (though it had only been a week or so). It was a single—thankfully the circumstance of his otherworldly origins and problems with new people helped out quite well in getting him a room alone—so the walls were covered in posters. One, unfortunately, was for the Origami film, a tell-tale sign of Jason King’s continued presence in Vyncent’s mind. William’s blood boiled whenever he saw it.
The subject of his visit was sitting on his bed in the corner of the room, typing away at his phone before looking up upon William’s arrival. Vyncent smiled and William’s stomach turned again, though the feeling was more welcome this time.
“Hey Will,” Vyncent chimed, beckoning him over. By this point, though he did prefer a warning, he was entirely unfazed by the appearance of strange, blue portals in his room at ungodly times of night. William had always had a horrible sleep schedule and Vyncent was a college student—they went together perfectly.
William obliged, taking the few steps necessary to reach Vyncent’s bed and unceremoniously tumbling onto it.
“Hey Vynce,” he replied, with a brave tap to his friend’s nose. The two of them had gotten a bit more comfortable with physical contact recently, much to William’s contentment. That wasn’t to say that they didn’t already partake in physical touch, and totally hadn’t spent movie nights holding hands or falling asleep on the other’s shoulder, never. Rather, it’s become less hesitant and more commonplace.
Vyncent’s grin widened as he tapped William back. He looked down to where he lay by his lap.
“Are you feeling okay?”
William sighed dramatically and smiled back. “I’m sorry I’m such an asshole all the time,” he hummed. “I’m feeling pretty good, actually, so I wanted to do something…not asshole-y while I’m on a roll.” He stared up at Vyncent’s ceiling and the popcorn paint job, taking occasional looks at his friend’s eye.
Vyncent has a great nose, he mused for what must have been the thousandth time. A thought crossed his mind, one that he’d had quite a bit, but it was a challenge he’d never accepted. Tell him. God, he was in a good mood, wasn’t he.
When he next looked over to him, he saw Vyncent shrug as if he’d just given him a perfectly logical reasoning.
“That makes sense.” He gave William a once-over before reaching to thread his hand through William’s hair. “It’s a bit more white than the last time I saw you,” he commented. Not a jab, just a comment. That’s one thing William liked about Vyncent so much: he was observational.
William hummed again, praying he wasn’t flushing too horribly.
Vyncent began to play with his hair absently. “Uh, what’s got you feeling this…nice…for…” he trailed off, glancing at his phone. “Nearly two in the morning?”
“Stuff,” William replied before remembering that Vyncent did not, in fact, have access to his mind. He decided to sit up, though he regretted it once he felt a pang of loss as Vyncent’s hand was removed from his hair. He leaned against the wall, letting his legs rest perpendicular to his friend’s
“I mean, uh, I’m, like, happy. I…” he milled about his mind for a moment in an attempt to formulate a proper sentence. “I was looking through some old photos and kind of realized that…I don’t know, I’m really different now. Than I was when we met.”
Vyncent nodded along, eyes slightly widening like this was never something he’d realized.
“Yeah, you…you really are.” He smiled lightly. “Like, in a good way, right?”
“Yeah, yeah, a good way. I’m…really happy,” he said again. “Well, you know. In comparison to how I was. Um, yeah. I kinda…realized that I’m feeling really good about who I am right now. Which is new.”
“You’re really cool, Wil,” Vyncent told him with a light squeeze to his hand. “One of the coolest people I know. I’m glad you’re getting happier.”
William couldn’t help but grin as he squeezed Vyncent's hand back and prayed he wouldn’t go intangible. He’d hoped he had outgrown that, but he could never know with Vyncent.
“Thanks, Vynce.”
Vyncent gave him a laid-back nod and laid his head to rest against the wall. They sat in comfortable silence.
Some time later, Vyncent asked, “Do you wanna watch a movie?” before his eyes widened in panic. “I mean, if you don’t want to talk more? It’s completely fine if you want to talk more, I just-” William found the rush of words tumbling out of him quite endearing
He lifted a hand to gently cut him off. “Sure, I’d love to.” As Vyncent’s shoulders relaxed, William rearranged himself so the two were sitting side-by-side on the shitty twin bed. It was a state they were each incredibly familiar with, and he welcomed the peaceful mundanity with eagerness.
“I have a new bee one,” Vyncent told him with a grin. He stood up, retrieved his laptop (one that he finally had a grasp on, after numerous, exhausting calls with William, Dakota and Ashe), and plopped back down on the bed. He set it up on their laps and began typing away. “A girl in my sociology study group recommended it, apparently her ecology professor has a thing for insect documentaries,” he said idly as he pulled up the movie.
He used a remote to turn off the lights and they settled in quickly. The movie was decent, one of those documentaries that narrated a specific bee’s life. William laid his head on Vyncent’s shoulder, and Vyncent let his head rest on William’s.
William had always quite enjoyed resting his head on his friends’ shoulders. It was peaceful, being able to feel their breath and the heat of their blood when he used to have none. Now that he could breathe and did have warmer blood, most of which was Vyncent’s, it was still something he found incredible comfort in.
About halfway through the documentary, the subject of their usual cinephilic, critical, chatter switched.
”The girl who recommended this to me thought we were dating,” Vyncent commented out of the blue.
William felt his heart skip a beat and became acutely aware of Vyncent’s shoulder pressed against his own. “Really?” His voice came out squeaky and he hurriedly cleared his throat. “Uh, really?” God, he was such a loser.
Thankfully, Vyncent didn’t seem to notice. ”Yeah, they mentioned ‘my boyfriend’ and I was really confused. She said something like ‘that sad guy who visits you all the time, you know, the…unnerving one.’”
“Haha…that’s me…” William trailed off. He wasn’t bothered by the description—he was sad, unnerving, and visited a lot—but what he was bothered by was how casually Vyncent was speaking.
“That’s you,” Vyncent hummed fondly. They lapsed into silence for another moment until he pointed to the screen. “Don’t you think that camera angle is a little weird?”
And with that, they moved on. Correction: Vyncent , seemingly, moved on. William tried to focus on the film, but all he could think about was him.
At one point, Vyncent put his arm around William’s shoulder like he did quite often and for some reason, that’s what did it. Maybe it was because Vyncent was warm, and kind, and logical, and funny, and a home. Maybe it was because William had been desperate for (and simultaneously terrified of) an excuse to say something for a year, and he felt good enough about himself in that moment to be ready to risk everything for a few sentences.
“Hey, Vynce?” He asked quietly, his eyes darting to his friend and back down to the laptop quickly.
Vyncent hummed as a reply, not seeming to look away from the movie, but still sounding present.
William squeezed his hands together, switching pressure from finger to finger in panic. “I like you. Um. A lot. Have for years. I…I could be your boyfriend? For real? If you want? But don’t- don’t feel like you have to-”
And just like that, it was done. He was pretty sure he felt all of the color drain from his face as he froze at his own words, stare unmoving at the screen.
There was a moment of quiet, with nothing but the HVAC system running and the buzzing from Vyncent’s laptop. For all his fleeting self-confidence, William was expecting Vyncent’s arm to fall from his shoulder or for the other to scoot away from him awkwardly. He was expecting some dramatic, biting reaction. He was expecting flames and the ruin of one of his closest friendships.
What he wasn’t expecting was a simple: “I like you too, Will.” He didn’t move his arm.
At that moment, William felt himself experiencing the medical anomaly that was his heart soaring into his throat and plummeting into his stomach at the same time.
While keeping his eyes glued to the laptop, which now focused on a hive of bees and their queen, he cleared his throat. “No, I, like, like like you.”
Finally, he felt Vyncent turn his head to look at him. Maybe it was the dark room, but William may have been able to make out a grin.
“I… like like you too.” It was simple. It was everything he’d ever wanted to hear. It was terrifying.
“Are- are you sure?” He looked up at Vyncent quickly. The last thing he ever intended to do was pull his best friend along into something he didn’t understand.
Vyncent just laughed. The sound was gentle and reassuring in William’s ears. “Yes, Will. I mean it.”
William felt himself be pulled a bit closer and finally allowed himself to let out a long sigh. He buried his face into Vyncent’s side and laughed, feeling like a little girl.
“Really?”
William could feel laughter bubbling up in his chest as Vyncent nodded. “Really. Also have for a while, just didn’t realize. Ashe helped me figure it out.” He was being shockingly calm about this.
“Cool…” William said weakly as his face began heating up. He was surely blushing, but he was also extraordinarily happy. Was he dreaming? Was he dead again? Did he die, again, and go to college dorm heaven?
“Cool,” Vyncent replied, his smile audible in his voice. William didn’t hesitate to wrap him in a hug, resting his head against Vyncent’s chest to hear his heartbeat.
This is fucking awesome.
They didn’t say anything else about it that night.. They didn’t need to, not then, they could do that later. What they did do was relax against each other and look towards Vyncent’s laptop. William could have sat there forever, as Vyncent pressed a kiss into his pure white hair.
William Wisp didn’t recognize himself from a year ago. But in that dark room, he couldn’t have been happier for it.