Chapter Text
"Get out."
The growl should have put Stiles off. Really. It should have. It had been years since Derek had growled at him like that.
"No."
"Get out, Stiles. Before I throw you out."
"Derek you don't understand! She kissed me, okay? For like two seconds before I pushed her away. I didn't kiss her, I don't even like girls! Don't you glare at me like that, it's not my fault that I'm irresistible."
Okay, maybe Stiles deserved that growl. Though he stands by the eyelash flutter he included.
"Don't make me repeat myself Stiles. This is over, and you need to leave."
It’s starting to dawn on him that he’s serious.
"So what, you're throwing away all we have for something that isn't even my fault? You really want me to go? That's going to make it really awkward for tomorrow, Derek."
Full Moon weekends were always the best. The humans would cook while the wolves were out running and they would have a big family meal together when they returned. Then they would pile in the lounge with dessert and watch a movie. It was Isaac's turn to pick this week.
"You aren't welcome to come tomorrow, Stiles."
And okay wow that hurt way more than it should have. It’s not too often Stiles has been left speechless in his life. Derek probably took his silence as obedience and just kept going.
"You were welcome as the Alpha Mate. Now that you aren't, you're not. Get it? Good. Have a nice life Stiles. Clearly you don't need me in it."
Complete with a slamming door to the face. A bit clichéd for his liking.
"It was only a kiss."
It wasn't even a good one at that.
He rang Scott on his way home. No answer, but a text a minute later.
"Hey, can't talk. Family dinner, at Ally’s!"
And yeah okay. Dinner with Allison's family was a pretty important event. But Stiles just got dumped and it fucking hurt. He'd never been dumped before. There hadn't really been anyone else but Derek. Not since he had fallen paralyzed on top of him. Matt had said that they made a good pair, and well, Stiles had a lot of time to think about that. And maybe he had gone around to the Hale house that night freaking out, and maybe Derek had shushed him and proceeded to kiss him silly. And maybe that had been one of the best nights of his life. And now it was all ruined by some stupid junior thinking she had every right to kiss him because she was the Prom Princess. The look on Derek's face… No Stiles. Don't think about it. Just get home and you can wallow in self-pity and play Assassins Creed. By yourself. Alone. Just like you are now. Fuck. What happened to wolves mating for life?
He wasn’t sure if the pain he felt in his chest was heartbreak or something bigger than that.
"We can't hang out anymore, man. Derek's orders. Sorry."
This is all he gets after trying to call Scott for hours the next morning, a text message after lunch. Stiles knows that the whole pack is at the Hale house already. And now Derek has already forbidden anyone from speaking to him. He wonders what he told them. Did he tell them all that Stiles cheated on him? That they were over? That he was out of the pack? Scott didn't even bother asking for his side of the story. All Stiles did was offer to help Sasha with her biology. She had been moved up a year, and was having a little bit of trouble with what she had missed. He never showed any signs of being interested, she just came onto him and he pushed her away the second her lips touched his. He had Derek and his pack, he didn't need anyone else. I guess I don't have either of them now, he thought. School would be fun on Monday.
And it really, really was. Scott wouldn't acknowledge Stiles in homeroom, Allison glanced back at him and that was it. Danny and Jackson didn't talk to him in chemistry, Erica, Boyd and Lydia breezed past him in calculus, and Isaac looked like a kicked puppy all through English. Stiles didn't even bother going to the cafeteria at lunch, he just sat in his jeep alone. By the time lacrosse practise rolled around, he didn't want to be anywhere near the school. He went home instead.
This continued for three months. Stiles would go to school, talk to nobody, go home, cook dinner, and go to bed. It was like a never ending cycle. He didn't see Derek even once during those months. He saw his father about once a week, they did Wednesday night dinner together, the only night their schedules matched up. Stiles thought this would continue until the end of his school days, until his biology teacher held him back after class.
"Stiles, I'm worried about you. You're passing everything just fine, but it's been a few months since I've seen a smile on your face."
"I'm fine Mrs S, just a little stressed about it being the last year and everything." He attempted a reassuring smile, but he’s sure it looked like a grimace.
"Well, if you're sure. Just know that there is no shame in wanting to talk to somebody."
A therapist. No thanks.
"I know, but it's okay. Really I'm fine."
He wasn't.
Stiles was getting tired of everything in this hell hole. So, so tired. He had just finished cooking a vegetarian lasagna when his dad messaged him and told him he had to work late, and wouldn't be home for dinner. Usually Stiles wouldn't mind, his dad does have the most demanding job in Beacon Hills, but it's his birthday. He is finally 18, legally an adult. And he's alone. Again. He’s received no phone calls, no texts and no emails all day. Nobody remembered, not one person.
He decided to give it until midnight, and stayed up until it wasn't his birthday anymore, then he decided to go.
I'm not entirely sure what I did to deserve all of this. I would understand if I had been at fault. If I had the intention to cheat on you. But I didn't. I was helping a girl with her homework. A girl who made a stupid decision to kiss a taken man. A man who was stupidly in love with you. So stupidly in love that as soon as her lips touched mine, I pushed her away and told her that was unacceptable. So stupidly in love with you that the first thing I had to do was tell you. So stupidly in love that I actually expected you to make it all better and tell me that you still loved me. So stupidly in love that I can't stop loving you. It's been three months without you. And I don't think I can last a day longer alone. You were everything to me Derek, I can't function properly without you and the pack. I'm so alone Derek, I can't do this anymore. I would say I'm sorry. But I'm not. I'm not sorry that I love you so much that I cannot live here without you by my side. I'm not sorry that I am nothing without you. I'm not sorry that I will always love you. I hope one that one day you'll find someone that makes you happy. Stiles x