Work Text:
Westview Residents
- Isabel
- Has anybody heard from Agnes lately? All those purple flowers she planted are creeping into my yard.
- John
- Agatha
- Isabel
- What?
- John
- Last we spoke, she told me she’s going by Agatha.
- Isabel
- John, with the greatest of respect - what does this have to do with the flowers?
- Abilash
- I think she’s on vacation - haven’t seen her in a few weeks. Maybe a month?
- Sarah
- AGATHA Harkness? Why does that name ring a bell?
Westview Residents
- Sarah
- Have you guys seen this? google.com/search?q=agatha…
- Sarah
- This is her, right? Those pictures are Agnes?
- John
- I told you she preferred Agatha.
- Abilash
- Notorious WITCH Agatha Harkness?
- Abilash
- A little cranky sometimes but witch seems harsh.
- Isabel
- I really think we’re missing the big picture here. The flowers?
- Harold
- So she was actually Agatha all along?
- Abilash
- Ha, guys. I clicked into one of those links and check this out. salemhistoricalarchives.com/items/…
Salem Historical Archives
First Hand Account from Constance Barker, written in 1694
In the late Evening of the twenty-fourth of March and early Morning of the Lord’s Day, twenty-fifth of March I walked into the village woods and came across the forms of two Women who bit and clawd at each other both with nak’d Bodys which I saw clearly in the moonlight. Tho I could not see the Devil there I knew the Devil must be there and they cried out the name of the Lord in vain and embraced one another. I was most afraid and spoke out a prayer and they turned towards me and beckon’d me join them in most terrible acts and I saw then the face of Agatha Harkness, whom I had knowne as a child, and I saw the other to be the Green Witch and my mother had warn’d me to stay far from the woods for that was where the Green Witch lived and now I knew her to be right. I ran home and remaind abed a week, sorely afflicted by the horrors I had witness’d.
Not much is known about this account which seems to have been written once the majority of the Salem Witch Trials had already concluded. However, researchers have found evidence of an “Agatha Harkness” in town records who died a year prior, suggesting this text may have originally been written earlier.
Westview Residents
- Isabel
- Abilash, what the hell is this?
- Abilash
- I know right?
- Abilash
- Like girl, what were YOU doing in the woods at midnight?
- Isabel
- I don’t see how this is going to help me get rid of the purple flowers that are now IN my yard.
- Isabel
- My lawn care guy is FREAKING OUT.
- Harold
- The green witch? I remember this - let me drag out one of my old textbooks.
- Abilash
- Think your high school chemistry is going to help you here, Harry?
- Sarah
- His PhD might…
- John
- Harry, what the hell? You got a PhD?
- Harold
- 🤓
- John
- Then explain to me why you suck so bad on quiz night.
- Abilash
- Ha!
- Harold
- image-301.jpg image-303.jpg
Essentials of Comparative Mythology
301
Fig. 1 Identification: Photograph of a small human figurine roughly carved from stone. The face of the statue bears markings reminiscent of a skull. Found in northern England, approx. 800 - 600 B.C.
Fig. 2 Identification: Photograph of a ruined stone building with markings on the wall reminiscent of a woman. Some scholars have speculated that specific etchings are intended to resemble a human skeleton. Found in Ukraine, approx. 200 - 100 B.C.
Although her influence has largely been reduced to the status of folklore and fairytale today, the Green Witch was once a significant figure whose influence was found in disparate, geographically unconnected regions across Iron Age Europe. Painting and carvings of a woman bearing the features of a skeleton have been found surrounded by offerings including, in some cases, evidence of human sacrifice.
Until recently, it was believed the figures found in these shrines were unrelated to one another, but recent work has suggested the deity was given the name “the Green Witch” across regions, translated, of course, into local language.
While it appears that the cults which sprang up around the Green Witch remained small, their far-flung nature suggest some missionary work may have been undertaken, or perhaps that worship originated with a nomadic person or group.
Due to the grotesque artwork and offerings that often accompanied her shrines, it was long assumed that the Green Witch was a goddess of death and burial, however the title of “Rio Vidal” which was typically associated with her suggests otherwise. “Rio” or “River” may indicate an association with the life-giving river these communities frequently relied on, along with the transitional nature of transport along it. “Vidal” is more difficult to pinpoint, but it seems likely to be related to “vita”, the Latin word for life.
Didactic Poetry: A Brief History
|
Original Middle English
God-doer doughter doon as hir moder request Otherkinnes doughter be ful clamour and cherlous |
Translation
The Good Daughter does as her mother asks, The Other Daughter is loud and coarse, |
|---|
301
Westview Residents
- John
- The green witch sounds kind of familiar to me too. Can’t put my finger on it.
- Abilash
- Your mom threaten you with her when you were a kid if you didn’t eat your vegetables?
- Isabel
- I think we’re overlooking the real issue here.
- Isabel
- What does some ancient fairytale and a witch from Salem have to do with our neighbor who - by the way - still hasn’t come home to take care of her yard.
- Isabel
- The flowers are strangling my rose bushes and I will NOT lose the HOA Best Kept House Award a second year in a row.
- Abilash
- Had a couple too many wines last night and kept searching for more info on “Agatha Harkness”. You are not gonna believe this.
National Historical Archives
Warrant for the Apprehension of Agatha Harkness and Rio Vidal
To the Marshall of Windsor County and His Department,
Complaints of Murder, Poisoning of Crops and Theft have been levelled against Agatha Harkness and Rio Vidal, most lately dwelling in Violets Cottage. These complaints were heard by the Magistrates in person from Reverend John March on behalf of the residents of Chester Village.
You are therefore required to bring Agatha Harkness and Rio Vidal before us on behalf of His Majesty King George to face the justice of their King and Country.
January Fourteenth Seventeen-Sixty
Original document available for viewing by private appointment only.
National Historical Archives
WANTED
ABSCONDERS OF JUSTICE
AGATHA HARKNESS
&
RIO VIDAL
On crimes of Murder, Poisoning & Theft
Agatha Harkness is said to be dark-haired and light-eyed. May use the alias Agnes.
Rio Vidal is dark-haired and dark-eyed and believed to possess a Menacing Aura.
MONETARY REWARD FOR INFORMATION LEADING TO THEIR CAPTURE
Original document available for viewing by private appointment only.
Westview Residents
- Isabel
- I’m not seeing the relevance.
- Abilash
- Agatha Harkness? RIO VIDAL? The same name from Harry’s book?
- Sarah
- This is 60 years later. How old would they even be by that point?
- John
- And her alias was Agnes? That’s pretty freaky.
- Isabel
- Maybe I wasn’t clear.
- Isabel
- I’m not seeing the relevance to US. TODAY. In the PRESENT.
- Isabel
- You’re not seriously suggesting that our neighbor, Agnes Harkness, was somehow alive and committing crime in the the 18th century?
- John
- After all the crazy stuff that’s happened around here, that’s what you question?
- Sarah
- Besides, look at Captain America and the Winter Solider, frozen for seventy years… It’s not impossible, right?
- Isabel
- What’s impossible is that I bought industrial strength weed killer and the damn purple flowers are STILL IN MY YARD.
- Sarah
- Hey look at this. newspapersofthepast.com/buy/…
- Isabel
- I'm going to scream.
NewspapersOfThePast
"Yesterday's news is tomorrow's fish and chip paper." - Elvis Costello
Today only: 50% off!
Get access to the full Newspapers of the Past archives for just $899.99 per year. You can't afford to miss out!
No, I want my world to stay small and sad and stupid and I never want my mother to love me.
THE CHICAGO DAILY
Thursday, July Twenty-Fifth 1888
FOUR WOMEN DEAD IN BRUTAL SLAYING
Horror struck residents of a quiet suburb yesterday following the discovery of four brutally murdered women. The affair is enveloped in mystery as no witnesses were present for this terrible crime and police are unable to trace the only available suspects.
The facts of the case are as follows: at six o’clock yesterday morning, residents of Thomas Street reported to Constable Jack Wilson that a great commotion had occurred inside the building of number 14 during the night. They informed him that there was often a number of comings and goings, along with music and ‘chanting’ and wished the Constable to warn the residents about maintaining peace and aiding the sleep of their neighbors.
Constable Wilson received no response from the residents after attempting to rouse them and so entered the property, where he found four deceased women. All four were dressed in bedclothes and had drained and shrunken appearances about them, although neighbors advised them to be youthful and energetic just the day before. Broken furniture was also found in the property, indicating a struggle, and doctors called to the scene were unable to suggest any cause of death other than a fast-working poison.
Given the late hour, no witnesses were available to give an account of these gruesome murders, however, The Times were able to speak with William Harding, present in the area at the time. Mr. Harding had left a nearby public house at approximately two o’clock that morning.
He said: “The streets were empty aside from two women walking away from the direction of Thomas Street. Their hands were linked which I found to be queer. I asked them if they required an escort home and they repeated some choice words not usually found in the mouths of ladies.”
Full identification of the deceased has not yet been obtained, and police continue to work to resolve this despicable business.
THE CHICAGO DAILY
Friday, July Twenty-Sixth 1888
SUSPECT NAMED IN DESPICABLE MURDER CASE
Following the heinous slaying of four women on Wednesday evening, police have released the identity of their key suspect. The diabolical murderess of whom the public should remain wary is named as Agatha Harkness.
After obtaining confirmation of the identities of the four murdered women, police were able to ascertain that the remaining resident of 14 Thomas Street, where the murders took place, was Miss Harkness. It appears likely that she is one of the women seen by a witness leaving the area late that night and, as her whereabouts have been unknown since, she has been named as the chief suspect in the case.
Neighbors inform The Times that, despite remaining unmarried, Agatha Harkness was ‘polite’ and ‘warm’ and often willing to offer advice on minor medical ailments. The identity of the second woman seen with Miss Harkness has not been ascertained, and police urge the public to come forward with any information which may be relevant to the crime.
Westview Residents
- Isabel
- Great she’s Jack the Ripper now. Awesome. Amazing. Freaking peachy.
- Abilash
- Think that woman with her could be the Green Witch?
- Sarah
- No. Maybe? Who knows at this point.
- John
- It finally hit me - I know where I’ve heard of the Green Witch before.
- John
- My dad used to love this band called The Coven and they had a song called the Green Witch. I guess they’re mostly forgotten now because I can’t track down any of their songs, but I did find this…
Top 10 Musical "What Ifs"?
#8 - The Coven
If you’ve never heard of The Coven then you need to call your parents more. I’m serious, your mom is DYING to give you the low down on this all-female rock band who smashed onto the scene back in 1973. Their first single “The Green Witch” was on every radio station (newsflash kids: that really mattered back then!) and teenagers lined up to spend their allowance on the album “Road Walkers” that followed. With rebellious lyrics and a HOT line up, those seventies kids were dying to piss off their parents by supporting The Coven.
There was no doubt in anybody’s mind that worldwide fame was in their future, but disaster struck first. While they were recording their sophomore album, lead singer Aggie Harkness got kicked from the band thanks to “creative differences” (I bet we’ve all heard that before). Maybe she wound up grateful though, because a month later, a recording studio fire killed the remaining four members. Bummer, right?
Aggie Harkness and her kickass sound disappeared from the limelight after that, but wherever she is, we hope she knows that we think she rocks.
| iwearshoes | Posted: Feb 18 2008 07:29 PM |
|---|---|
|
Member Since: Feb 2007 |
Listening to some old records today and it occurred to me for the first time that some of The Coven’s lyrics (check them out if you haven’t already!) could read a little… gay??
The song The Green Witch has lines like “I dream of what we had then/And moonlight in her hair/I dream of Violets Cottage/And I know she’s waiting there” and a chorus that goes “I take back what I’ve given/I relinquish what I’m owed/But even if I turn back/She’s at the end of every road”. How else are supposed to interpret that?! Any other artists that, looking back, were definitely KINDA gay? |
| MusicHistorian82 | Posted: Feb 19 2008 08:33 AM |
|
Member Since: Dec 2001 |
I think it’s a cute idea, but the Green Witch is a classic legend representing death. It seems more likely that’s what’s being referenced here. |
| JonasBrosForever | Posted: Feb 19 2008 02:26 PM |
|
Member Since: Apr 2005 |
Kinda freaky considering what happened to The Coven. |
| iwearshoes | Posted: Feb 20 2008 03:04 AM |
|
Member Since: Feb 2007 |
Really? I’ve never heard of the Green Witch before. |
| MusicHistorian82 | Posted: Feb 20 2008 02:05 PM |
|
Member Since: Dec 2001 |
Maybe you should read a book some time. |
Westview Residents
- Ralph
- HACKED
- Ralph
- That’s right suckers, Ralph has been reading your messages this WHOLE TIME.
- John
- Yeah dude, I added you to this group a while back. How’s it going?
- Abilash
- Hey Ralph.
- Sarah
- Do you think you could give back that crockpot I loaned you?
- Ralph
- READ IT AND WEEP.
IncognitoFilesForYou
The website your MOM warned you about
CASE ID #:
DATE: 04/17/1998
INTERVIEWER(S): Detective ; Detective
INTERVIEWEE: J L
TRANSCRIPT
|
Speaker |
Text |
|
Police |
We will begin the recording at 11:03 AM. J , do you need anything before we start? A glass of water? |
|
JL |
No, thank you. |
|
Police |
Okay, could you state your name and age for the recording? |
|
JL |
Yeah. My name is J L and I’m fifteen years old. |
|
Police |
Thank you. Why don’t you start by describing what happened on the night of April 14th? |
|
JL |
Alright. Well - I was in bed kind of early, I guess. It was Sunday so I had school the next day and hadn’t been feeling too great. But then I heard yelling downstairs - |
|
Police |
Hold on, let’s go back a step. What time did you go to bed? |
|
JL |
Around nine-thirty. |
|
Police |
Okay. And what time do you think the yelling started? |
|
JL |
Maybe nine forty-five. |
|
Police |
Who was yelling? |
|
JL |
My mom, mostly. She had a friend over - they always used to get drunk on wine and watch Friends or whatever, but I never heard them yell before. |
|
Police |
Do you know the friend’s name? |
|
JL |
Agatha - uh. Harkness, I think. I’m pretty sure her last name is Harkness. |
|
Police |
Alright, thank you. Go on - so you heard yelling. Did you hear what they were yelling about? |
|
JL |
I don’t - I don’t want you to think my mom was like… |
|
Police |
Don’t worry, we just need to hear the truth. That’s the only way we can figure out who hurt her. |
|
JL |
Uh. Yeah. Okay. I guess my mom wanted Agatha’s help with something and Agatha must have said no. |
|
Police |
What makes you think she said no? |
|
JL |
The stuff my mom was saying. She kept repeating, like, “I need you to do this” and “I don’t understand, after everything you’ve done”. |
|
Police |
Do you know what your mom asked for? |
|
JL |
… |
|
Police |
J ? |
|
JL |
Probably something to do with my dad. |
|
Police |
What makes you say that? |
|
JL |
He moved out last year after he met this new woman. My mom kept calling her a bitch and a slut, she really hates her. Hated her. |
|
Police |
So you think your mom asked Agatha to do something that involved your dad? |
|
JL |
Yeah - I don’t know. Maybe. My mom always said, like, you need something done you go to Agatha. But I guess this time she wouldn’t do it. I couldn’t hear exactly what Agatha was saying because she was just talking normal, not yelling or anything, but I think she was saying my name. |
|
Police |
You’re sure about that? |
|
JL |
No. I don’t know. Maybe I imagined it. You gotta know - I didn’t want anything to happen to my dad. I know he’s an asshole but… |
|
Police |
That’s alright, I understand. Let’s keep going with your story. So your mom was yelling, what happened then? |
|
JL |
There was all this banging and crashing, like the furniture was - I don’t know - being thrown at the wall or something. And I heard screaming. |
|
Police |
Who was screaming? |
|
JL |
I’m not sure. My mom, I think, but it was hard to tell. |
|
Police |
Alright, go on. |
|
JL |
So, obviously, I like - got out of bed really fast. And I ran to the top of the stairs which must have taken - I dunno - twenty seconds or something? But she was already dead. My mom, I mean - she was lying - [JL begins to cry] |
|
Police |
We’re going to pause here. |
|
… |
|
|
Police |
We’ve returned at 11:18 AM. J , can you confirm you feel comfortable continuing the interview? |
|
JL |
Yeah. Yeah. I want to. |
|
Police |
Alright. So you were standing at the top of the stairs looking down. What else did you see? |
|
JL |
It looked like there had been an explosion or something. The couch was on the other side of the room, the TV stand was broken. And Agatha was standing there. Except she looked different. |
|
Police |
Different in what way? |
|
JL |
I don’t know how to describe it. Like she was glowing or something? |
|
Police |
What happened next? |
|
JL |
I screamed. I know that’s not - you know, guys aren’t supposed to scream and stuff. But I did. |
|
Police |
That’s alright. Did Agatha notice you? |
|
JL |
Yeah. Yeah. She looked up right at me, and it seemed as if she was really shocked to see me. |
|
Police |
Why do you think she was shocked? |
|
JL |
I guess because it was Sunday, like I said, and I normally stay at my dad’s place on weekends. Except he was on a trip with his new girlfriend. Maybe she wasn’t expecting me to be there. |
|
Police |
Did the two of you speak? |
|
JL |
Sort of. She looked shocked and then - I don’t know, like she was about to cry or something. Even though my mom was still just lying there. And she said, “Sorry, J , I swear I didn’t plan this one.” |
|
Police |
“Sorry, J , I swear I didn’t plan this one.” What do you think she meant by that? |
|
JL |
I have no idea. |
|
Police |
Okay. What happened next? |
|
JL |
This woman came out of the kitchen. |
|
Police |
There was somebody else in the house? |
|
JL |
I didn’t think so - there wasn’t when I went to bed. It was just me, my mom and Agatha. But she must have got there after? I don’t know. |
|
Police |
Did you know her? |
|
JL |
No. I’d never seen her before. |
|
Police |
Can you describe her? |
|
JL |
Uh, I can’t remember exactly. Dark hair. Wearing this green sorta shirt thing? |
|
Police |
Thank you. What did she do? |
|
JL |
She walked right up to Agatha and put her hand on her shoulder, then she looked down at my mom lying there. |
|
Police |
What did Agatha do? |
|
JL |
She closed her eyes. It was sort of like - uh, I don’t know. |
|
Police |
Go on. |
|
JL |
Like that woman was comforting her, or something? Even though Agatha just did that to my fucking mom - sorry for cursing. |
|
Police |
That’s okay. |
|
JL |
And Agatha said again, “I didn’t plan this one”. And the woman said “I know”. Then she looked right up at me and she said, “Might wanna close your eyes, J ." |
|
Police |
But you didn’t know who she was? |
|
JL |
No. |
|
Police |
Okay. What did you do? |
|
JL |
I closed my eyes. And when I opened them again, the two of them were gone. It was just my mom on the floor. |
|
Police |
Could you hear them as they walked away? Did they walk back towards the kitchen? |
|
JL |
I didn’t hear anything. It was like they just disappeared. So that’s when I called you guys. |
Hosted on IncognitoFilesForYou. Fuck the feds.
Westview Residents
- Isabel
- Our neighbor the murderer. Great. Just fabulous.
- Isabel
- My mom warned me not to move to Westview but I said “no, mom, it’s so cute and safe”.
- Isabel
- Turns out she was right. She’s always freaking right.
- Sarah
- I’m not so sure. Sort of sounds like Agatha was attacked.
- John
- Yeah. I know Agatha is kind of kooky, maybe too willing to “bare her soul” sometimes, but a murderer?
- Abilash
- I agree. She lived here for three years and the worst she did was bring some really terrible potato salad to the summer barbecues.
- Harold
- Dug up a painting of the Green Witch from one of my books.
- Harold
- The wanted poster was right, she does have a menacing aura.
- Harold
- image-342.jpg
- Sarah
- Am I going crazy or does she look familiar?
- Isabel
- I think you’re all going crazy.
- Abilash
- No, you’re right.
- Abilash
- Remember when Agnes/Agatha was in her whole Columbo phase? That's the woman who kept hanging around her house.
- Sarah
- Yeah, that’s it, that was her.
- John
- She gave me really great advice on what to do with my azaleas.
- Isabel
- Think she’d have any advice on how to get rid of purple flowers?
- Abilash
- So big news everybody… I emailed somebody from the Windsor County Historical Archives to see if I could find out any more. Who they were, how old they were, how they came to be murderers and thieves living in Violets cottage…
- John
- Harry, I think you better share your PhD with all of us after this research we’ve been doing.
- Harold
- I’ll sharpie your names right in there.
- Sarah
- What did you find, Abilash?
- Abilash
- image-8947.jpg
| ↵ Reply → Forward ╳ Delete |
|---|
| From: [email protected] |
| To: [email protected] |
| Subject: Re: Agatha Harkness and Rio Vidal |
|
Hi Abilash,
Thank you so much for your email. It was a pleasure to hear that you and your neighbors have grown interested in the history of our humble county. Unfortunately, the only record I could find which might relate to Agatha Harkness and Rio Vidal is the letter I’ve attached. I can’t verify it’s them, of course, but given your description I don’t think it’s unlikely. I can confirm that “Violets Cottage” certainly did exist though - I wish I had a picture to share with you but I can’t seem to locate one. Next time I’m in the area, I’ll certainly take one and send it over! I would recommend a visit if you can make it out here though. Nothing much is left of the cottage itself except rubble and a few old foundations, but the place where it stood is covered in a field of purple flowers. It’s not often that I pass through, but when I’m nearby I always try to make time to see them. It really is incredible when you stand there and look at them - it almost feels like they go on forever. Kind Regards, Penny Simpson |
Westview Residents
- John
- Wow. Makes it seem kinda real.
- Sarah
- Yeah.
- Abilash
- It sounds really beautiful.
- Isabel
- I’m going to be stuck with these fucking flowers forever.
- Harold
- What did the letter she found say, Abilash?
- Abilash
- Right, forgot to send it, sorry.
- Abilash
- img-8948.jpg
R,
The flowers outside miss your touch and so do I. Come home soon.
-A