Chapter Text
Solar was shorter than Sun, than Moon.
Shorter than he'd been in his original body.
It was one of the many changes he'd gradually noticed.
Ofcourse Eclipse would make him short.
When Sun or Moon stood in front of him, initially he didn't quite register the difference.
It was when they were sitting moreso than anything, that he'd feel like something wasn't quite right.
For example, he'd sit beside Sun and notice he'd have to tilt his head up just the slightest.
Why, then, wouldn't he have noticed when standing?
His obsession with this miniscule detail turned into him observing Sun and Moon whenever he interacted with them.
The realization that they were perpetually slouched was comical for a moment.
Could they even stand upright?
It was one humid Autumn evening that Solar's curiosity turned into utter fascination.
Sun had been standing outside, staring at the lake, when Solar brought him something to eat.
Sun wasn't as voracious an eater as Solar and Moon especially, but he enjoyed the occasional glass of milk and cookies.
Sun looked over at Solar with a hint of a grateful smile.
"Thanks, Solar"
Solar could sense that Sun was thanking him for more than just cookies.
Maybe he appreciated having some company.
Sun idly set the foodstuffs on the table beside him and just as idly started consuming them.
He wiped away stray crumbs with only the barest of irritation.
Clean up, clean up..
"You.. feeling a bit stressed out, Sun?"
Solar tried.
Sun didn't respond at first, and looked out at the lake again in lieu of looking at Solar.
He then nodded very very slowly.
"I... hm.. It's not something I can explain just yet, Solar."
Solar noted that Sun looked nervous about the topic, and he didn't know whether to push or not.
Normally, he wouldn't, but there was something in Sun's nervous demeanour that made Solar feel like Sun did actually want to talk.
He maybe just didn't have the words.
"Is it about Moon?"
He tried again.
Sun scoffed.
"Nine out of ten times you'd ask that question, the answer would be yes... but this is a sort of yes and no answer really... it's hard to explain."
Sun sighed and looked over at Solar.
Solar looked Sun in the pupilless eyes, trying to get a read on him.
"Is.. it about Dazzle, or Jack? The Daycare? Maybe someone else in the family? Did you catch Lunar smearing Nutella on the couch again?"
Sun chuckled a little.
"N-no, no, it's not that. It's -- where did you get all that from?"
Solar's eyes lidded in thought, in that usual guarded way of his.
He didn't know where this was going, but thankfully Sun took it as a cue to continue.
"It's.. me, I guess... I think they call it.. being touch-starved or something?"
Solar's eyes widened a little, and he blinked at the strange explanation.
"You... get hugs, don't you, Sun?"
Sun sighed and shook his head.
"I give hugs. It's different."
Oh.
Solar felt like he was starting to understand, but he still wanted to err on the side of caution and ask.
"What's the difference?"
Sun briefly looked away, at the lake, before pinning Solar down with an unreadable gaze.
"It's... you know... it feels different."
Sun hesitated, and then opened his arms a little by his sides.
"Can I show you?"
Solar glanced at Sun's hands, and then up at his faceplate.
"Sure, I suppose it's fine."
Solar hadn't gotten a hug from anyone other than Jack in a while himself.
And Jack didn't hug, he tackled.
Feeling Sun's arms wrap around him was soothing, loving almost.
Sun gave good hugs; they were firm, warm, and made you feel like your frayed circuits were knitting themselves back together.
It was a long hug too, and Solar could almost forget the goal of all this, if Sun hadn't removed his arms.
Solar composed himself, clearing his throat.
"That was nice. Very nice even... I'm starting to understand, I think."
Sun smiled gently, enjoying at least the positive feedback, even if he wasn't done proving his point.
"Now try to hug me."
Solar looked at Sun's body, purely with the intent of trying to apply logic to the situation.
He felt pressured; given what Sun had just made him feel, he wondered if he could provide the same.
When he wrapped his arms around Sun, it was awkward and tense.
Solar frowned, and tried to relax, focusing on making Sun feel comfortable in his slightly smaller frame.
Sun leaned into him a little and sighed.
How lovely...
But he understood now.
There's a lot more that goes into giving hugs than receiving them.
And Sun wanted to feel safe in someone's arms.
With renewed resolve, Solar adjusted himself around Sun and pressed him closer, until Sun's arms wrapped around him in turn.
There was that feeling again... that all-encompassing comfort.
But this time, it seemed to be mutual.
Solar was still leading the hug, burying his faceplate in the crook of Sun's neck.
Their rays clashed and seemed to retract and expand upon contact.
It was ticklish and both of them couldn't help the little shivers of laughter suffusing their circuits.
It was warm.
It was lovely.
Solar didn't want to let go, and Sun didn't let go.
...
The days following, it became their little secret.
A private moment no one was to intrude upon.
Why, pray tell, would sharing a hug need to be a secret to begin with?
Perhaps the judgement, the lack of understanding.
Perhaps to not let others define the ambiguity of the affection.