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Lucy pounded on her dorm neighbor's door. It was the third time that week she had had to yell at them, and it was only Tuesday.
"CALVIN," Lucy yelled, when there was no response from inside the room.
The door finally opened to the face of Calvin's roommate, Jason. Jason and Calvin were as different as roommates could be. Jason was a Physics major--levelheaded, quick-witted, and nerdy. Lucy liked him well enough, even though she would never tell him so. Calvin, on the other hand, was the bane of Lucy's existence. She wasn't sure what his major was. She wasn't sure if he knew at this point either, but as far as she could tell, his minor was Being Annoying. He was loud and obnoxious and played music at full volume. Despite their differences, Jason and Calvin seemed to get along well, and they were often mistaken for brothers due to their closeness and the fact that they both had blond hair, blue eyes, fondness for macabre pranks, and an uncanny ability to talk to you when you least wanted them to.
When Jason opened the door, he looked about as annoyed as Lucy felt. He was on his phone, but with a quick, "I'll call you back later, Marcus. Gotta go," he hung up.
"It's the music again," Jason asked Lucy. Though, it was more of a statement than a question.
"Yes it's the music. It's always the music. Tell him to turn it down."
Jason turned back into the room to speak with Calvin, not moving from the doorway. "Calvin, Lucy's asking you to turn the music down."
Calvin appeared in the doorway behind Jason, grinning his Cheshire Cat grin.
"If she wants me to turn the music down, she can ask me herself."
Lucy sighed. "Can you turn your damn music down?"
"What's the magic word, Lucy?"
"Fine. Can you please turn your damn music down?"
"Of course. Thank you for asking so politely."
Calvin disappeared from the doorway and his music lowered to a volume that was no longer splitting Lucy's eardrums.
"Sorry about him," Jason said.
"Thanks," Lucy responded, still put out, but less so.
Calvin reappeared behind Jason. "Are you guys talking about me?"
Jason jumped. "Jeez, Calvin, would you stop doing that?"
"Maybe. Lucy, where's your roommate?"
Before Lucy could answer, Calvin had stuck his arm out of his room and knocked on the door next to it. Lucy heard some rustling from inside, and then the door opened a crack. Lucy's roommate, Zoe, stuck her head out, looking for all the word like a disgruntled leprechaun with her small frame and disheveled red hair. She looked around in confusion, smiling when she saw Calvin.
"Hi Calvin."
"Hey Zoe."
Lucy looked from Calvin to Zoe and back. Zoe's face was slowly turning pink. Calvin was leaning forward, smiling in a way Lucy had never seen him do before. Oh no.
"Well that's enough of that," Lucy said quickly. "Go back to sleep, Zoe."
Zoe stuck her tongue out at Lucy, did a little wave to Calvin, and closed the door again.
"So, the music," Lucy said, bringing the topic back to what was really important here.
"The music," Calvin agreed.
"You cannot keep playing it at that volume."
"Why not?"
"It's annoying. You're lucky I haven't filed a noise complaint."
"It's not quiet hours. I can do what I want."
"Guys," Jason interrupted. "What about some kind of bet?"
"What do you mean?" Lucy asked, intrigued.
"Like a contest. If Calvin wins, he can play his music as loud as he wants. Outside of quiet hours, obviously. And if Lucy wins, Calvin has to turn the speaker down."
Calvin smirked. "What kind of contest?"
"Well, what can you do?"
Lucy considered for a moment. "Well...I've been told I give good advice. And I'm a psych major, so I've been taking a bunch of classes..."
"Okay, that's a start," Jason said, nodding. "Calvin?"
"I can give people a swift kick in the pants."
Jason sighed, but then smiled. "You know what, that could actually be fun to watch. Okay, Lucy, you offer psychological help, and Calvin, you offer a swift kick in the pants. Whichever of you has had the most customers at the end of the month wins."
"That doesn't seem fair," Calvin protested. "I mean, I'd rather get therapy than kicked in the nuts."
"Yeah, you probably should get therapy," Jason agreed. Then, ignoring Calvin's affronted protests, continued, "Okay fine. How about you charge for this? Psychological help $5, kick in the pants $!."
"First of all, is anyone going to pay $5 for advice from a freshman? Second of all, is anyone going to pay anything for a kick in the pants?" Lucy asked. It just didn't seem practical.
"You'd be surprised what college students will do for the bit. My brother drank gasoline his freshman year," Jason responded.
Lucy considered. The prospect of making money was appealing. So was the prospect of showing up Calvin. She could tell from his expression that he was thinking along similar lines.
"Okay then," they said simultaneously.
"Perfect," Jason said, pushing his glasses up his nose and turning his attention to his phone. "Don't worry about advertising or record-keeping. I'll be in charge of that. Shake so we know it's set."
Lucy offered a hand to Calvin, who took it. They shook hands firmly.
"Good. It's settled then," Jason said. Then, as he was closing the door, "Of course, I'll be taking a cut of any profits."
"Wait-" Lucy said, but the door was already closed. She raised a hand to knock, then decided it wasn't worth it. She smiled. This was going to be fun.