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“Are you aware that some of your fans are writing fan fiction about you?” the interviewer asked, half smiling like she thought she was about to get some juicy reactions. And she was. Just not the ones she was expecting.
Steve, Sam, and Carol groaned loudly while Bucky and Stephen just shook their heads. Natasha shot Steve an unsympathetic look. “You had to know this would happen eventually.”
“Is it wrong to hope?” Steve said.
Tony, meanwhile, cackled like a madman. “Why, yes, I am,” he replied gleefully. “And while the quality of much of it is impressive, and I’m very gratified by the authors’ evaluation of my sexual prowess—” he winked at the camera, “spot on, good job, keep at it—I have a bone to pick with shippers.”
“The–”
Tony cut the interviewer off mercilessly. “Steve Rogers?” he demanded. “My most popular pairing is with Steve?” He turned briefly toward Steve. “No offense.”
“None taken,” Steve said tiredly.
Tony turned back to the interviewer. “Completely aside from the fact that we’re not remotely compatible,” Tony went on, “his most popular pairing is with Bucky. Which is great! They actually work together. But more importantly, I am not second place!”
The interviewer’s mouth opened and closed for a stunned moment. “Then who–”
“I am so glad you asked,” Tony said, rubbing his hands together and grinning. “It’s got a canonical enemies to lovers arc–”
“‘Enemies’ is a little strong,” Stephen said, amused.
“–it’s got opposites attracting,” Tony went on, “it’s got style, and, most important of all, it’s got excellent facial hair.” Tony waved his hands towards Stephen like Vanna White unveiling a prize.
“To be fair to the authors,” the interviewer rallied, “you and Doctor Strange really haven’t interacted much in the public eye.”
“Why do you think I agreed to this press tour?”
“That’s why you agreed?” Natasha burst out.
Sam covers his face with one hand. “This explains so much.”
“You don’t think that’s going a little too far?” Carol asked, amused.
Tony raised one finger. “I will go down with this ship!”
Stephen patted him on the knee. “And I appreciate that.”
“You realize that’s just going to encourage him, right?” Bucky said.
Stephen smirked.