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r/AmItheAsshole • u/Blade_Craftsman813
[+5024] AITA for following a previous acquaintance to his apartment?
Hello. I have never made a post here before, but a friend suggested I do so to get some advice about my situation. I don’t really feel it’s necessary, but nevertheless I suppose it’s worth a try. I used to be acquainted with a man through a mutual friend group in university. We had a falling out during our final year, and I have not seen him since. Coincidentally, I happened to spot him across the street downtown yesterday. He noticed me and immediately began walking the other way. I followed him, but he continued walking faster. He eventually started running, so I began running as well to catch up. Before I realized it, we were in front of his apartment. I called out to him, but he just ignored me and ran inside. I then waited outside for a while, but he never came out again. I plan to go back and try to speak to him again, since I don’t feel his behavior is appropriate given our situation, but some of my friends disagree. AITA?
Ambivalent_Idea 4566 points
OP is this a joke
Blade_Craftsman813 -3843 points
I am very serious.
Ambivalent_Idea 3490 points
??????????? There is no world in which you are NTA do you even hear yourself. You just told us you saw a guy you used to know, who didn’t seem all that enthused to see you. Then for some ungodly reason, you proceeded to stalk him to his home, where he obviously didn’t have any interest in confronting you, and this somehow makes you feel wronged??? Holy shit, YTA
Blade_Craftsman813 -2903 points
You misunderstand.
Ambivalent_Idea 1023 points
Then explain???????????????????
colorcapsule 1198 points
This man is straight trolling lmao
love_and_roll 3836 points
INFO: What do you mean by previous acquaintance? Sounds like you used to be friends? Were you close?
Blade_Craftsman813 2291 points
Hm. I suppose we used to be friends. In university, we would all study together as a group of five and have weekly dinners.
Sweet_Track412 2037 points
what’s the point of saying “previous acquaintance” then lmfao yta for being annoying
Blade_Craftsman813 -1293 points
I loathe to think of him as anything more after the incident.
Ambivalent_Idea 2334 points
Elaborate??????
Sweet_Track412 2111 points
lmao just give up bro is allergic to actually replying
koibumi 3299 points
Hey OP, it seems like you’re unfamiliar with this sub but you probably need to give us a little more info so we can actually give advice. You clearly feel strongly towards this “acquaintance” but we can’t really help you if we don’t know what went down between you two while you were in college. Still gonna give you a soft YTA though, it’s unhinged to follow someone to their house just to try to talk to them. What were you even planning to say?
Blade_Craftsman813 -4302 points
I was going to demand an apology.
koibumi 3102 points
For what?
Ambivalent_Idea 2763 points
?????????????????
Ambivalent_Idea 1323 points
bruh
c0ntr4ct_00 12 points
lmao proud of u bladie
yta tho
r/AmItheAsshole • u/Blade_Craftsman813
[+8231] Update: I was confronted by my previous acquaintance’s new friends
Hello. While heading home from my office, I passed by the street where I previously saw my old acquaintance (I will begin referring to him as DH) as usual, but was suddenly stopped by a young woman and man. They approached and began berating me about not leaving DH alone, even though we have yet to actually interact. I told them not to meddle in our affairs, but they brushed me off and threatened to involve police if I approached DH again. I fail to see what our private matters have to do with outsiders, and don’t like to be accosted on the street. AITA?
euaru 7630 points
Oh wow it’s you again. “I don’t like to be accosted on the street” lmao I bet DH doesn’t like to be stalked to his apartment either but didn’t see you care about that last time. YTA still
Blade_Craftsman813 3921 points
Please elaborate.
euaru 6918 points
Are you for real? Where do I even begin lol. You sound deranged, his friends have perfect reason to be concerned about his safety. You still haven’t even explained why you’re so obsessed with this guy anyway, but leave the poor man alone.
Blade_Craftsman813 -2100 points
The reason is private. He wronged me and others deeply, and I simply want to seek amends.
over_and_over 4423 points
Talking to you is like talking to a brick wall YTA
Ambivalent_Idea 3939 points
YTA
love_and_roll 2310 points
YTA
planetes__ 7203 points
Dude just stay away from the guy. Idk what your relationship really was and honestly I don’t care, but DH has made it pretty clear he wants nothing to do with you now so just let it go.
Blade_Craftsman813 -4539 points
No. He owes myself and many others an apology.
planetes__ 6785 points
Oh my god I can’t with this I’m out
r/relationship_advice • u/Cold_Dragon_Young
[+3348] My (29M) ex-best friend (31M) keeps loitering outside my apartment and I don’t know what to do
Throwaway account. I recently ran into a man I used to be good friends with in college. Unfortunately, we had a massive fight during our last year (long story, but can get into it if needed), and lost touch afterwards. I honestly thought I’d never see him again, but somehow we ended up back in the same city after all these years and he saw me on the street the other day. I froze up and basically ran away, since I assume he doesn’t want anything to do with me, but he started sprinting after me until I got back to my apartment. Ever since then, he will periodically come by every couple of days and just hang around the front of my building, I guess to try and talk to me for whatever reason. It’s making the other tenants in the building uncomfortable, and I’ve been leaving my apartment through a back entrance for about a week now to avoid him. I talked to my friends about it, and they’re adamant about filing a police report, but I don’t want to cause any more issues. Should I just see what he wants?
Everlasting_Crown528 4937 points
I’m sorry what?? OP you should absolutely not confront this man, he sounds crazy. If you’re comfortable, can you elaborate on what happened between you two in college?
d_epartures 3312 points
100x this OP your friends are right, I would absolutely let the police know and maybe even get a restraining order on this guy
Cold_Dragon_Young 8732 points
Thank you for the advice. I really appreciate it. About our relationship... it’s a bit complicated to explain, but I’ll do my best. In college I used to be friends with a group of 4 other people, including him (I’ll call him YX). We pretty much hung out all the time despite being in different majors and having rather different personalities as well. One of the women in our group, let’s call her BH, was basically the glue of our group, since she was the most outgoing and easy to get along with. Myself, another woman JL, and YX were admittedly all neurotic in our own ways back then, so it definitely wasn’t easy for us to always get along. But BH and JY (the last friend of the group, and youngest) were more personable and helped us all stay close.
Unfortunately, BH also got into various difficult situations quite frequently. She really liked to help others, sometimes even at her own detriment. During our time there, our school was involved in a scandal where it was alleged that various student organizations and staff across departments were being paid off to create an image of our university being more successful than it actually was. Basically, people were getting paid off to fake research results, help each other cheat on exams, anything to make our college look good. We didn’t realize at the time how widespread the problem was, or how powerful some people involved were. At one point, BH learned that a group of students in her major had refused to publish a paper if they were required to fudge the results. As a result, the students kept experiencing “mysterious” bad luck over the course of the semester, like having their belongings stolen, apartments broken into, and even physical altercations.
Eventually, BH figured out that these events were all being orchestrated by one of the department chairs. Without telling us, she confronted him alone. We didn’t hear from her for several days, which was extremely unusual at the time because she was known to be extremely talkative in our group chat. We became concerned and contacted the authorities, who later found her in life-threatening condition on the side of a road a few hours away from the university. No one had any idea how she got there, or what happened, and it was several days of hospital care before she could even stay awake long enough to open her eyes.
Cold_Dragon_Young 7831 points
Sorry this got longer than I expected. When BH was finally well enough to talk, she told us that she had confronted the department chair, and threatened to take her findings to an outside journalist to publicize what our school had been doing. She had left his office afterward, but couldn’t remember anything after leaving the department building. Then she had woken up on the side of the road. It was obvious to all of us at this point that whatever was going on with our university was a lot more sinister than we had thought. Once BH recovered, our group decided we had to get this reported to the media no matter what, as students’ safety was at risk. To make sure we could pin as many people as possible, we hatched a plan to surveil the department chair and see how many others in leadership were involved in this whole mess. This plan involved both discreetly following the relevant people as well as tagging their belongings with devices to record audio and video, since I was in electrical engineering.
This is where the problems began. After putting our plan into motion for a while, we discovered that the Vice President of the university was also involved. One day, I snuck into his office and was supposed to plant a small camera inside a pocket on his work bag. As a precaution, BH was to be on the lookout and hopefully help de-escalate the situation if things went wrong. But I miscalculated how much time I’d have to make sure everything was in place, and the Vice President walked into the room right as I was finishing up. Since I hadn’t finished installing the device, it had dislodged and fell onto the ground, in plain sight as he entered the room. He asked what I was doing, but I froze up completely and didn’t know what to do. BH suddenly burst into the room and started acting like it was all her idea to plant the device, and I was just a passerby who had seen the whole thing and was trying to help the Vice President by removing the device.
At this point I still didn’t say anything; I was just completely frozen. Everything after that I remember in kind of a blur. I remember that BH pushed me out of the room and, once again, confronted someone in power by herself. I waited for her, and when she came out, she assured me everything was fine. But a few days later, we never saw her again.
Cold_Dragon_Young 6503 points
Sorry, I hit character limit again. This is the last part. After BH disappeared, our friend group fell apart rapidly. BH was all of our friends, but JL’s the most; they were inseparable. After what happened, JL lashed out, blaming me for being careless. And it was true, because if I had been quicker, or able to think on my feet better, I know that things could have been different.
We filed missing person reports, but every lead became a dead end. This only furthered JL’s grief, and her pain affected JY and YX, who all began to distance themselves from me as well. I understood why, but back then I just could not bring myself to accept the situation. So I isolated myself, and we graduated, and I cut contact with everyone.
And that brings us to today. I honestly don’t know for what reason YX would want to reach out to me, but I still feel horribly guilty and nauseated when I think about what happened. It’s true that I never properly apologized to any of them, so I think I at least owe him that much.
allalonewithyou 9823 points
...I’m speechless. This is absolutely leagues beyond the stuff we’ve gotten in this sub for probably the entire year. What the actual fuck. OP did this ever make it to any news stations??
Cold_Dragon_Young 8372 points
Unfortunately no. After BH’s disappearance, we completely gave up on our plans, it was simply too dangerous. And we were all too in shock.
kaba_neri 8322 points
OP are you doing ok? Did you ever talk about this with anyone (besides Reddit)? This is so incredibly heavy and I honestly can’t believe what I just read.
Cold_Dragon_Young 8075 points
I appreciate the concern. I am doing as well as I can, all things considered. I have never spoken about this until now. Truthfully, I didn’t think I would end up telling the entire story, and I still am not sure how to feel about telling it in such detail. I might delete this later.
_Euterpe_ 7614 points
Holy shit. OP it really sounds like you’re blaming yourself for this whole situation, but I don’t think it’s your fault at all. We can’t know how we’ll react to fear until we’re in the moment, and it’s not your fault at all that you froze up. It sounds like BH made the choice to protect you even given her horrific experience. She must have cherished you all a lot.
Cold_Dragon_Young 6753 points
It’s kind of you to be so considerate. She was a very special person to all of us, and I miss her very much.
Night_Club_Junkie 2524 points
I don’t even feel right about giving advice after reading OP’s backstory but for the sake of staying on topic, OP I absolutely don’t think you owe YX anything at this point. I know you feel guilty about everything but I don’t think it’s solely your blame to shoulder. It seems like YX has made his stance on you plenty clear before, plus given his threatening behavior I think you should prioritize your own mental wellbeing and stay faaaar away. Listen to your friends now and let them care for you. Best wishes OP xx
Cold_Dragon_Young 2090 points
Thank you for being so thoughtful. I’m not sure that I fully agree but I will think about your advice.
futurebase 2188 points
giving you a virtual hug OP
Eternal_Groove912 1423 points
Stay safe OP we’re on your side
the_emperror -3229 points
ya sure go meet the crazy stalker dude who is prob gonna make you feel like shit all over again lmao do you have some kinda self sacrificial complex or what
kaba_neri 7744 points
What is your problem? OP’s experience was clearly traumatic and I doubt he even told us everything. Would it kill you to be more empathetic
the_emperror -5912 points
yes
[+183 hidden replies]
r/TrueOffMyChest • u/Blade_Craftsman813
[+3651] I miss my best friend
Hello. Giving this website another try.
I used to have a group of friends in college. Strange people, but very close friends. Among them, a man that I was closest to. He knew my heart, and I knew his. We matched well; he was bright, fiery. Beautiful like the moon amidst a starry sky. But something terrible happened to one of us, and we all blamed him. I blamed him the most.
It was his fault, but also not. I no longer want to think about things like fault and anger.
I wish that none of it ever happened. I wish I could speak to him again.
It’s been almost a decade, but I still think about him every day.
I miss my best friend.
Sentimental_Heart 2113 points
Not sure what the backstory here is but why not reach out?
Blade_Craftsman813 1224 points
I tried, but I let my emotions overwhelm me and intimidated him. I don’t think he wants to see me.
Sentimental_Heart 1002 points
Hmm, I think you should try again. This is clearly eating away at you still, and I think you know deep down you didn’t try your best with your last approach. Calm down, think things through, and reach out again. Then if it still doesn’t work out, it’s time to move on.
Pretty_Please250 1781 points
Sounds a little like you were more than friends...
Blade_Craftsman813 1556 points
?
still_stellar 583 points
OP you sound like you have some unresolved feelings towards this guy that are def deeper than friendship lol. hope y’all work it out
colorcapsule 342 points
Your username seems kind of familiar
r/relationship_advice • u/Cold_Dragon_Young
[+10.4k] Update: I (29M) finally spoke with my ex-best friend (31M)
Hi all. Thanks so much for the support on my last post. It was not my intention to be comforted, but I am grateful nonetheless. I thought carefully about everyone’s advice, and I know many of you warned me against meeting my ex-best friend (YX) out of concern for my safety. I thought about it very carefully, but ultimately decided to do so anyway in an effort to bring us both closure. I know the way I described YX’s behavior made him seem very erratic and unstable, but please rest assured this is not the case. However, I did have two of my friends watch over me from my apartment while I went down to meet YX.
Anyway, I’m happy to report that the talk went well. At first, his expression seemed rather frightening. I assumed he was waiting for me to finally apologize for what happened during our university years, but he cut me off before I could really say anything. To my surprise, he interrupted (quite loudly) and declared that he didn’t want to hear any apologies. I asked what he was here for then, and he didn’t say anything for quite some time. Finally, he told me that he had simply wanted to see me again. Then he suddenly became angry again, and said he came to make sure I hadn’t run off before I “paid the price” and apologized to the correct person. I asked if he was talking about BH, and said I thought the case had officially been declared cold, only for him to glare at me some more and become even angrier. He told me I was arrogant to think that people would just give up on her. I don’t think that, but it’s always been YX’s habit to lash out like this, so I didn’t mind it much.
Afterwards, YX calmed down a bit and told me he would be seeing me again, then stalked off before I could really say anything. I’m very happy to have gotten the chance to talk to him, so I just wanted to update everyone :)
_Euterpe_ 9573 points
OMG it’s you!! So happy to see an update about this. Not sure how I feel about this interaction though. I don’t know YX, but he comes off really harsh, like he just wants to keep coming around and reminding you about something deeply painful to the both of you. Do you feel comfortable with the idea that he said he’s going to see you again?
Cold_Dragon_Young 8723 points
I understand your concern. Last time, many people told me I should forgive myself, which I contemplated deeply. I think I will always carry some of the blame, but I do not find it to be suffocating. The five of us have always been a complicated bunch, YX and I perhaps even more so. I don’t quite know how to best explain our relationship to better justify his behavior, but I know it must have been difficult for him to say even this much, so I appreciate it. And yes, I look forward to seeing him again. It might be impossible, but I wonder if someday we might become friends again.
_Euterpe_ 7765 points
OP :(... I’ll trust you to do what’s best for yourself and I hope you know all these strangers here really care about you. I hope everything works out!
Marshall_Maximizer 8892 points
> I’m happy to report the talk went well
> the most one-sided conversation ever
OP please value yourself more, you don’t have to tolerate this guy just talking and walking all over you!!
Cold_Dragon_Young 8012 points
Thank you for your kindness. I know it sounds a bit off, but it’s just his way of expressing things sometimes. I’m hopeful to repair our relationship so that I can show you all his gentler side.
bananastreet 6055 points
OP I seriously don’t get it but you seem a little smitten with this dude or something. Otherwise IDK how you aren’t seeing his red flag behavior for what it is lol
the_emperror -4321 points
damn u actually have a kink for punishment ig
sunsetteacup 1203 points
are you addicted to negative karma or something
r/bestof • u/omniscia_spares_none
[+32.9k] [relationship_advice] u/Cold_Dragon_Young seeks advice about stalker ex-friend, reveals university conspiracy and possible unsolved missing persons case instead
links to: My (29M) ex-best friend (31M) keeps loitering outside my apartment and I don’t know what to do (r/relationship_advice)
Everlasting_Crown528 20.3k points
Oh god I remember this. I was the one who asked for more info thinking it was just some generic friendship interpersonal conflict thing, but holy shit
slowmotiontown 19.4k points
Wtf this is literally insane. I thought it sounded fake so I looked up some of the details and found this article: Local university under investigation for fraud, embezzlement, violence...
pitter_patter 15.5k points
I looked too but only found that article as well. I feel like it should be a bigger deal if it were a real story?? Kinda sus about it tbh
endingscene___ 11.2k points
I wouldn’t be so quick to discount it, especially if OOP’s claims are true about people getting paid off and shit. People who have money can make crazy shit happen
Love_Alone_441 10.6k points
Yea I don’t believe this at all lol
youmakeme338 8.8k points
y’all are so gullible lmao this is like r/nosleep levels of creative writing
Ending_Scene 14.2k points
What the hell did I just read
Cosmo_Funk 3211 points
huh
Moonlight_Syndrome407 2011 points
Same
Cosmo_Funk 1997 points
is this real????
Moonlight_Syndrome407 1254 points
I think so?? One of the other top comments found some old local news article that sorta corroborates the story but IDK
Ambivalent_Idea 2329 points
Wait the premise kind of reminds me of an insane AITA post I read once
Ambivalent_Idea 2044 points
Holy shit I dug through my saved threads and found it: AITA for following a previous acquaintance to his apartment? (r/AmItheAsshole)
Is it the same guy this OOP is talking about???
Sweet_Track412 1312 points
omfg lmao i also remember this, bro was cooked
would be crazy if it was the same dude
r/Advice • u/Arbiter_General_J
[+1233] Ways to get in touch with friends who don’t use social media?
Hi Reddit! I’m having a dilemma I’m hoping someone can help me with. I don’t want to get into it too much, but I used to have a group of friends in college who all went their separate ways after graduation. I’ve been feeling nostalgic recently and want to get back in touch with them since we used to be really close, but I’m not sure how to start since I no longer have their phone numbers and don’t recall them ever using any social media. Help?
next_color_planet 974 points
They have no social media?? Like legit none? Surely everyone has an ancient Facebook account?
Arbiter_General_J 822 points
Unfortunately no :( In university, one of the guys in the group got us all to delete our Facebook accounts (I made mine in middle school) as part of some spiel about controlling the use and spread of your info online or something like that...
macaronmoon 753 points
TBH I bet at least one of them has SOME form of social media now you prob just don’t know about it. Hell they might even be on reddit lmao, maybe if you lurk on subreddits they would’ve been interested in you’ll run into them
Arbiter_General_J 640 points
I’ve never thought about this but I’m open to trying! It’s been so long since I’ve got in touch with them it’s definitely not impossible they have more of an online presence now, but their personalities are so... Haha, I just can’t really imagine it. But I’ll try!
Cosmo_Funk 432 points
did ur uni have some kinda scandal
Arbiter_General_J 310 points
WDYM?
Cosmo_Funk 209 points
like while u were there, do u remember there being any type of scandal that the uni tried to cover up? also did ur friend group have 5 ppl
Arbiter_General_J 543 points
Yes... Do you know something?
Cosmo_Funk 244 points
i’ll dm u
unchainedmemory 12 points
can you dm me too i wanna know
dead2me 10 points
!RemindMe 6 months