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When Viktor offered, Jayce had accepted without even thinking about it. It just seemed so natural, so easy, that he was already agreeing before he even quite realized the words were out of his mouth.
Now, though, fidgeting behind Viktor as he unlocks his door, Jayce is realizing this was a little stupid.
On the one hand, it’s truly not like Jayce has much of anywhere else to go. The Kirammans may still want nothing to do with him, even after the Council reviews his case tomorrow, so it’s not like he can take a spare room. And his mother’s house is a long walk—and besides, Jayce isn’t sure what he’s going to say to her yet. And the apartment, regardless of his relationship with its owners, is still basically rubble. So Viktor’s couch is definitely his best option.
But on the other hand, he hardly knows the guy. He only learned his name a few hours ago. Agreeing to be partners in mad science is one thing. Seeing the inside of someone’s apartment is another.
It’s too late now, though; the door is swinging open and Viktor flicks on the lights and there it is: a simple unit practically overflowing with books, kind of just the way Jayce was imagining it.
“Sorry about the mess,” Viktor says offhand, scooping up a couple of books that are on the floor near the entry. “I’m usually a little tidier, but nothing about the last couple of days has been usual, hm?”
“Yeah, no, don’t worry about it,” Jayce replies, closing and locking the door behind him. “I’m hardly in any place to judge. Thanks—for letting me crash.”
“Well,” Viktor says rather archly, casting him a look as he pops open his bedroom door, “I could hardly allow my new partner to sleep on the floor of our lab like he seemed to be threatening to.”
Jayce had been doing no such thing, he’d like everyone to know. He’d simply mentioned staying the night in the lab for convenience. “I appreciate it, anyway,” he replies, dropping down onto the couch. As far as couches go, it’s not too uncomfortable. He actually might get a pretty decent night’s sleep. “You’ve already done… a lot for me. Today.”
Viktor re-emerges from his bedroom and leans against the doorframe, his expression gentle. “If you’re referring to our meeting up in the shell of that penthouse, or our success tonight, I’ll remind you it wasn’t just for you. I believe in your work, Jayce. And I’m… investing in it, as it were. For me.”
Jayce isn’t quite sure he’d call suicide prevention an investment, but Viktor is offering him an out, so he takes it. “I just hope your investment doesn’t go to waste,” he says with a smile, leaning back against the couch cushions.
“I don’t think it will,” Viktor replies. “Now, what are you doing sitting there? Bed is this way.”
Jayce blinks at him. “Oh, uh, I figured I was taking the couch.”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” Viktor says immediately. “You’re twice as long as that thing. I thought the point of you staying with me was that you could actually get some sleep. Come on. I have an extra blanket, and a spare t-shirt and shorts, if you’d like.”
“Oh,” Jayce repeats, half-moving to get off the couch but not quite convinced. “You’re sure?”
Viktor’s expression turns wry and perhaps a touch exasperated. “What, do you snore? Talk in your sleep?”
For some reason, this makes Jayce flush. “No,” he says, maybe a little more defensively than he meant. “At least, I don’t think so.”
“Then there’s not a problem.” Viktor disappears again into his room, leaving Jayce with no choice but to follow him.
All in all, it’s not as awkward of an affair as Jayce was building it up to be. They get changed, and climb into bed under different blankets. Viktor’s bed is wide enough that they don’t even brush up against each other when they move.
“Goodnight, Jayce,” Viktor says quietly.
“Goodnight,” Jayce echoes, and the apartment falls silent.
He doesn’t sleep, even though he’s thoroughly exhausted. His mind is buzzing—with their breakthrough, with the possibilities for their work, with his second chance, with his new friend. He shifts as carefully as he can, hoping the movement doesn’t disturb Viktor. Out of habit more than anything, he finds himself running his thumb over his rune crystal on his wrist, just imagining their next steps. Maybe half the reason he was thinking to stay in the lab in the first place was so that he could spend all night tinkering and adjusting. He knew he’d be restless.
He’s not sure how long he spends quietly tossing and turning, but suddenly he rolls over and finds himself face to face with Viktor. Jayce bites back a gasp of shock, heart pounding, apology on the tip of his tongue, but though Viktor’s eyes are open, he doesn’t look annoyed or angry. He’s wearing an expression that tells Jayce he’s kind of feeling the same way.
So Jayce just grins at him. “Can’t sleep?” he whispers.
“No,” Viktor replies, grinning too.
“I can’t believe we did it,” Jayce says.
Viktor’s smile grows. “I can,” he replies, and he sounds almost smug. “They were all idiots, to dismiss your work out of hand.”
“You including the professor in that statement?” Jayce prods.
“Yep,” Viktor says without any hesitation.
Jayce can’t stop the surprised laughter from escaping his chest. “You’re not how I thought you’d be,” he admits. He thinks back to the severe man he met, surveying the wreckage of his apartment, and then glances back over at Viktor, whose eyes are still warm with amusement. It seems like another world. Another life.
“How do you mean?” Viktor asks.
Jayce considers it a moment. “I thought you’d be like the rest. Dismissive,” he says finally. “But… you see me.”
Something shifts in Viktor’s eyes, turns him a touch more serious. He nods and says, “I do.”
⊹₊ ⋆ ⚙ ⋆₊ ⊹
They do eventually end up falling asleep that night, though late nights and little sleep quickly become routine as soon as the Council decides to let them pursue their research. There’s just so much to do, so much to discover. Every new breakthrough trails a hundred failed experiments and seems to ask more questions than it answers, but honestly, Jayce can barely feel it. It’s hard to get discouraged with Viktor by his side, always ready to look for next steps, always so sure they’ll crack whatever puzzle they seem to be stuck on.
Professor Heimerdinger clears them for a couple lab assistants, which helps with some of the busy work, but even then, everything is still too volatile, too finicky, so no one but Jayce or Viktor has a shot at safely testing it—well, mostly safely, anyway.
So before Jayce knows it, a couple of months have passed. He makes Viktor a new cane to replace the one they shattered that night when Viktor used it to bar the door. He and his mother talk, and he smooths things over with the Kirammans, too, so he has a place in the city again, along with a patron. And maybe best of all, he gets to go back to hanging out with Caitlyn.
It’s on a rare free afternoon that he’s over at her house, under the guise of helping her with her homework. Really they’re just chatting, happy for the chance to catch up away from the ears of parents or the eyes of strangers.
“So,” Caitlyn says, swiveling gently back and forth in her desk chair. “I have to ask. Are the rumors true?”
Jayce stares at her blankly for a second. “What rumors?” he asks, his mind landing on their last failed experiment. “I know people want to see results right away, but we’ve only really been working on it for a couple months, and—”
“No, idiot,” Caitlyn interrupts. “Not about your geeky science stuff. About you and Viktor.”
A shock runs through Jayce’s whole body. “What?” he asks dumbly, trying to figure out why that has his skin flashing hot and cold.
“Well,” Caitlyn says, her tone slow and calm but with a giddy mischief bubbling up underneath that Jayce has long since learned can only mean trouble. “Word around the Academy is that you guys are more than just… partners.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Jayce stutters. “I—who’s even saying that? How do you know?”
“I have my sources,” Caitlyn says cryptically. “I mean, c’mon, Jayce. You guys spend all those late nights in the lab together, and people always see you walking around shoulder to shoulder bent over some tome. You spend all your time with him! Like, my family sponsors you, and even we hardly see you anymore. What’re people supposed to think?”
“That’s stupid,” Jayce says, though now that Caitlyn’s lining it all up for him, he supposes he can understand how it might look. “We’re just really busy, and it’s not like anyone else can do the work for us.”
“You sure?” Caitlyn wheedles, conspiratorial. “You can tell me, you know. I won’t say anything, I promise. I just wanna know.”
“No, Cait, gods,” Jayce mumbles, scrubbing his face with his hands to hide the blush that’s rising to his cheeks. “I’d tell you something like that before the rumors even caught up with us, you know that.” Caitlyn does look somewhat pacified at that. “And anyway,” he adds, throwing his hands out in front of him, “I’m not gay, so.”
Caitlyn shoots him the most diabolical raised eyebrow of all time. “Hah, yeah, me when I was thirteen,” she snickers.
“I’m not,” Jayce refutes stubbornly. “And even if I was, Viktor’s not, so—“ He notices Caitlyn’s eyebrow has, if possible, arched even higher. “What?”
“Now you’re just being stupid,” she says, rolling her eyes. “You’re telling me you haven’t heard the stories about guys casually walking out of his apartments at a crisp seven in the morning?”
Jayce has not heard these stories—though that’s probably because he’s always been too invested in his work for gossip. “Maybe he had… meetings scheduled?” he tries weakly.
Caitlyn smacks her palms on her desk. “On a holiday?” She gives him an incredulous look. “Wake up, dummy. Viktor’s definitely gay, and everyone knows it. I’m gay, so I know what I’m talking about.”
“Okay, okay, sure,” Jayce says, filing this away for processing later. “Still, it doesn’t matter. He and I are colleagues who happen to get along. Platonically. That’s it.”
Caitlyn leans back in her chair, doing a big dramatic shrug. “Oh-kay ,” she says, pulling the syllables out really slow. “I’m just saying. People are going to think it’s happening either way, so if public opinion is the only thing that’s stopping you…”
“Thanks for the advice, Cait,” Jayce grumbles, glowering at her when she laughs. “But there’s nothing going on between me and Viktor. Alright?”
“Whatever you say,” she says brightly, kicking a leg out to stop him from shoving her off her chair.
⊹₊ ⋆ ⚙ ⋆₊ ⊹
Jayce has known Caitlyn long enough to already be deeply resigned to accepting that she’s always right. That being said, this time it’s a little uncanny. He wants to ask if she’s secretly a prophet or something. Or a witch. Maybe he should be studying her to help figure out this Hextech thing.
But the thing is, ever since their conversation, it’s like Jayce is suddenly hyper-aware of Viktor. It’s not to the point that it gets in the way of their work or anything, but he catches himself watching him, admiring his hair in the gold of the late afternoon light, the mole under his right eye, the quirk of his lips when Jayce proposes something far-fetched.
Had he always noticed these things, and just never realized it? Or did Caitlyn manifest this change in him somehow? He admits to himself that her words probably wouldn’t have had such a profound effect on him if there’d been nothing there to begin with.
It’s just as scary as Jayce maybe thinks it should be. He follows Viktor’s clever hands as he tinkers with some new rune cage, smiling at the crease between his eyebrows that he always gets when he’s concentrating, only to quickly dart his gaze back to his notes when Viktor raises his head. His heart pounds in his chest, trying to banish the thought of those hands on his skin, trying not to wonder when else that crease between his brows might appear.
That’s the other part of it. Even if Jayce was certain how he felt, there’s absolutely no guarantee Viktor would be interested. It’s not that Jayce has any real idea about Viktor’s type or anything, but he’s pretty sure it’s not a bright-eyed, idealistic idiot he had to practically pull off the ledge by the scruff of his neck. Though Viktor is basically his age, Jayce can’t help but feel like a kid around him sometimes. He’s just so sure of himself the way Jayce isn’t.
Jayce knows he might not look like it, but he’s actually wholly inexperienced with most of this, which just makes it all the more humiliating that his brain is conjuring up all kinds of insane images despite the fact that he has no real-life reference points. He’s kissed girls at parties before, but that’s it. He’s wanted more, occasionally, but never like this. He’s always been able to ignore it, or at least it was never more interesting than his studies. This is different. Whenever Jayce’s mind isn’t preoccupied with his work, it always drifts back to Viktor. He wants Viktor. And that remains true, no matter how he looks at it.
Okay, Jayce thinks. Maybe I am gay.
And then Jayce thinks, Am I okay with that?
And then Jayce looks back at Viktor, who’s got a familiar wild look in his eyes that means they’re about to do something potentially life threatening for science, and thinks, For him, I guess it doesn’t really matter.
“What are you thinking?” Jayce asks, eyeing Viktor as he paces in front of their model—something they’re going to call Hexgates, which will work as secure, high-speed transport for both goods and people. Supposedly. They’re essentially making portals, but it’s easier said than done.
“You remember our very first breakthrough?” Viktor says. He picks up one of the lines, holds it to the light. “There’s nothing wrong with your model, theoretically. We might just need more power. We’re ripping a hole in time and space. You can’t do that with just a tiny explosion.”
Jaycev finds a smile creeping onto his face. “You’re saying we need to crank it.”
Viktor drops the line, claps him on the back. “Precisely! Get your goggles, Jayce.”
The spot on Jayce’s back where his hand just was feels unnaturally warm, and not just from the impact. Jayce has to force his limbs to move, reaching out for his goggles clumsily. “R-right,” he says, standing and going to fetch some more wiring.
The adjusting is easy work—Jayce has assembled and disassembled rune cages far too many times to count. Viktor works on the gears to make sure they’re all lined up, and then they both step back, admiring their handiwork.
“Well,” Viktor says. “What’s the worst that could happen?”
“We level the entire block,” Jayce mutters.
Viktor just laughs, gesturing for him to take the controls. “Go on, then. You’re the one with the magic touch.”
“Another joke,” Jayce says, doing as he’s told anyway. “You’re nervous.”
“No pressure.”
Jayce huffs and presses the button to turn their mechanism on. The machine flashes to life, metal rings spinning faster and faster as Jayce twists the dial. A familiar buildup of blue electricity begins to glow. Out of the corner of his eye, Jayce sees Viktor head toward their receptor across the lab. He glances at the gear placed on the launching pad. It’s started to hover.
Crank it, he thinks, and turns the dial the rest of the way. The gears click on, and the whole model starts flicking through a series of runes. The light gleams brighter and brighter, circles of runes lining up in front of their target, and Jayce forces himself to stare into it, terrified and hopeful, desperate and hungry, watching as runes begin to glow in the air, as the light focuses into a single beam, heading towards the gear, and then it flashes so bright Jayce has no choice but to close his eyes. He hears a soft boom, and then a shout from Viktor.
Jayce gasps, ripping his goggles off, horrified for a moment, a nightmare emerging in his mind, that the gear was off target somehow, that Viktor was hurt—but when he focuses his gaze on his partner, he’s picking the gear up off the landing pad in awe.
They both stare at the model, now spinning down to a peaceful stop, stunned into silence for a moment. Then Viktor erupts into a gleeful cheer, and Jayce finds himself almost in hysterics, laughing giddily as Viktor crosses the room and pulls him into a hug.
One of Viktor’s hands finds its way up to Jayce’s head, and he raps his knuckles gently against his temple. “You’ve got a great brain in there, under all your good looks,” he teases. “It’s a shame most people can’t see past the pretty face.”
Jayce freezes for a second in what he can really only describe as panic. It’s a casual compliment disguised under some backhanded friendly ribbing. Just like every day. But the word pretty rattles around the inside of Jayce’s skull and suddenly he doesn’t know what to say.
“Thanks,” he manages, pulling away before Viktor can feel how fast his heart is going.
Viktor misreads this entirely. “Sorry,” he says quickly. “I didn’t mean—I’m not saying you don’t seem smart, just—”
“No, no, I know what you meant. That’s not—it’s okay,” Jayce reassures him hastily. He risks a look up at Viktor and watches his expression go from concern back to joking.
“Oh, are you embarrassed?” he asks, grinning now. “Piltover’s new Golden Boy still gets shy at a little bit of praise?”
The thing is, that’s exactly what’s happening and Jayce doesn’t know how to deny it. “I guess,” he mutters. “When it comes from you.”
Viktor’s expression now slips into some evil kind of understanding, which he quickly schools into a semblance of detached curiosity. He steps closer again, close enough to touch, though his hands stay at his sides. “What do you mean?” he asks mildly.
Jayce wants to crawl out of his own skin. How the fuck did he get here? “Nothing!” he says, and it doesn’t help that his voice comes out a little higher-pitched than normal. “Just, I know that you mean it.”
Viktor regards him for a moment. Jayce can see that he’s practically running calculations in his head, and suddenly feels a very strong kinship with the Hexgate model lying dormant on the bench beside them.
When he finally decides to speak, he says, “You’ve been jumpy around me these last couple weeks.” A tilt of the head. “Why?”
“I—I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Jayce says, eyes flicking around the lab. It’s only now he realizes it’s gotten late, that the sky is darkening outside and all the assistants have gone home. It’s just him and Viktor and a conversation that Viktor seems determined to have. “H-have I?”
Viktor laughs softly. “Jayce,” he says, placating. “I am not upset with you. I’m only asking for you to be honest with me.”
“Honest about what?” Realistically, Jayce knows that playing dumb is going to get him approximately nowhere, but he doesn’t know how to say it. He doesn’t even really know what it is.
“No?” Another step closer, this time really in Jayce’s personal space. “Alright, then.” He’s so close now that Jayce can smell him, clean aftershave and detergent.
Jayce might be shaking. “Viktor,” he says. It comes out hoarse. “What are you doing?”
“I’m…” Viktor looks up at him. His eyes are so warm, so kind, so safe. “Testing a theory,” he says, and then he’s kissing him.
At first, Jayce is completely frozen. Viktor’s lips are hot against his, just a little chapped, but Jayce finds he doesn’t mind the chafing. After a second, his mind catches up with him and he tries to kiss back. He feels clumsy—not that Jayce has a whole lot to compare it to, but if Viktor’s kisses are anything to go by, he definitely knows what he’s doing, and Jayce does not . But Viktor doesn’t seem to mind, tugging him closer still with a hum of approval. Jayce’s hands find Viktor’s waist, and his stomach burns at the slender curve of it. He’s touched Viktor before, hugged him, brushed shoulders in the lab, worked underneath his shoulder with their hands overlapping at the bench, but never like this, never so wholly. It feels as electric as their magical crystals, to have Viktor so close and still not close enough.
Too soon, Viktor is pulling away. They stare at each other for a second. Jayce realizes he’s breathless.
“Viktor?” It wasn’t meant to be a question.
“Before we go any further,” Viktor says, “we need to do something.” He steps back and reaches out for the crystal still sitting in their model, then comes back, placing it in Jayce’s palm. He clasps his hand over it and looks up at Jayce intently. “Swear to me that no matter what happens, we’ll remain partners. Here, in this lab. Because what we’re doing—our work, our dream—it’s bigger than you or me. It’s for our people, and it’s more important than anything that could happen between us.” Jayce nods. “Swear you won’t abandon it, even if our relationship may sour in the years to come.”
“I swear,” Jayce promises fervently, squeezing the gemstone tight between their hands.
“Good.” Viktor sets the gemstone aside, carefully securing it in a case. “Where were we?”
“Um.” Jayce swallows roughly.
“Oh, right,” Viktor says, as if Jayce has actually given him an intelligent reply. His hands reach up to cup Jayce’s jaw, and Jayce can’t suppress the satisfied sigh when he kisses him again. He wraps his arms around Viktor, pressing his fingertips to his spine, and kisses him.
Somehow, Viktor gets him backed up against a lab bench without breaking anything. Jayce decides that’s magic of its own, since he’s kind of having a hard time even telling up from down. But Viktor is there, grounding him, with a hand on his cheek and the other on his chest. He kisses Jayce’s chin, his jaw, his neck, loosening his tie and undoing the top button of his shirt. Jayce gasps when he feels teeth, scraping gently.
“What do you like?” Viktor asks against his skin.
“I honestly—I’m not sure,” Jayce admits. “I’ve never, before.”
Viktor pulls away abruptly, his eyes wide in surprise. “I’d always thought—you’ve always been a bit busy for anything involved, I think, but I didn’t know you…” He shakes his head. “Well, we can’t do this here, then. We have to do things properly, for your first time.”
Jayce can only stand there weakly as Viktor gives him one last searing kiss on the neck, right over his pulse point, before he goes to retrieve his cane. “It really isn’t a big deal,” he attempts, trying and failing not to sound kind of pathetic. I don’t care how it happens, he thinks. I just want you .
Viktor gives him a look. “Are you really about to beg me to fuck you against our lab equipment?”
Jayce tries very hard to ignore the spike of heat that sends through his whole body. “Maybe,” he mumbles sheepishly.
“Some other time, perhaps,” Viktor says, almost casually, which certainly doesn’t help. “This time, though, you deserve nothing less than a bed.” He tips his head towards the door, gesturing for Jayce to follow him.
Mercifully, they don’t run into anybody on their way back to Viktor’s rooms. Jayce isn’t sure he’d be in any state to attempt polite conversation—and when he catches a glimpse of his reflection in a window, he knows he’s not, because he can see how unkempt he looks, his hair ruffled, his cheeks flushed, lips swollen, and tie damningly askew. Viktor, on the other hand, looks entirely serene and put together, which only throws Jayce’s appearance into sharper contrast.
But then Viktor has his door unlocked, and none of it really matters. Jayce steps into the familiar apartment, closing and locking the door behind him. It seems like years ago that he was last here, that fever-dream of a night. Has it really been a couple of short months? Since the explosion? Since he first met Viktor? Since his whole life was flipped on its head?
“What is it?” Viktor asks, turning back from closing the curtains.
Jayce huffs out a quiet breath of laughter. “What you said, earlier. About me being… jumpy, these last few weeks.” He shrugs. “I guess I just only started figuring it out. That, um, the way I feel about you isn’t strictly friendly, you know. And I was just—how long did it take you? To realize…” He trails off, unwilling to put words in Viktor’s mouth.
Viktor sets his cane aside by his bedroom door before coming back to him, stepping into his space again and reaching up to frame Jayce’s face in his hands. “Oh, I don’t know,” he replies. “Not as long as you.” He strokes his thumb across Jayce’s cheek, then gives his whole head a gentle shake, jostling Jayce’s skull between his palms. “It was your mind I fell for first. Not just your intelligence. You have a unique capacity for wonder, Jayce.”
“I’m naive, you mean,” Jayce says.
Viktor laughs. “No, not at all. Hope is not the same thing as naivety.” The words, the warm approval in Viktor’s voice, make Jayce feel giddy. “I wouldn’t have taken such a leap with you if I thought you naive.” He drops his hands to Jayce’s shoulders. “But that was the start of it. The physical… desire. That came later.”
“Why didn’t you say anything?” Jayce complains. “Instead of letting me torture myself for so long?”
“Mm, I was kind of hoping you’d come to me,” Viktor says. “Though I’m realizing now that was a bit of a miscalculation. I just… didn’t want to force it, if you weren’t ready.”
“Well, I’m ready,” Jayce says, though his voice shakes.
“I know,” Viktor says simply. “Come on, then.” One of his hands comes up to cradle the back of Jayce’s head, and he leans in, pressing a slow, almost chaste kiss to Jayce’s lips. Jayce melts into his touch, reaching out clumsily for more, one hand cupping Viktor’s jaw, the other finding its way back to his perfect waist. Viktor spins them around slowly, kissing deeper now, and Jayce trusts him to guide them wherever they need to go, just focusing on not tripping over his own feet.
Jayce feels the edge of the mattress hit the back of his knees and has no choice but to fall down onto it, spreading his legs so Viktor can step up close, so he can kiss him with ease. He smiles against Viktor’s lips, irrationally pleased, somehow, that for once he’s the one looking up. Viktor seems to be enjoying this new angle as well; he uses the opportunity to coax Jayce’s mouth open and push his tongue past Jayce’s teeth. Something about this makes a soft moan bubble up out of Jayce’s lungs, and Viktor swallows it, humming low in response.
Jayce hardly even registers Viktor’s fingers on the clasps of his vest at first, but they have to break the kiss so that Viktor can tug Jayce’s shirt off his shoulders, the tie now hanging loose around his neck. Jayce pulls it off over his head once his arms are free, then reaches up for Viktor’s collar.
He realizes, as he pulls the fabric from Viktor’s skin, that they’ve never really seen each other in anything but their Academy uniforms, save for that first night. But even then, they changed in opposite corners, slept under separate blankets. This is different. Jayce gets to really see Viktor this time, and he drinks it all in. The sharp collarbone. The pale cream of his skin, dotted here and there with dark moles. Jayce swallows roughly as his gaze travels lower, where a trail of hair disappears beneath the waistband of Viktor’s trousers.
Viktor bends over, pushing Jayce a little so he has to lean back on his hands, and leaves a line of hot, open-mouthed kisses down his throat to his chest. He nips at one of Jayce’s pecs, sucking a dark bruise there, purple and blue left in the wake of a kind of pain Jayce has never felt before. He can only gasp, bringing one hand up to Viktor’s hair. It’s thick and soft under his fingers, and he fights the urge to make a fist. He just wants more, but he doesn’t know how to say it.
“Viktor,” he whispers, letting his hand run down the nape of Viktor’s neck to his back. He can almost span the space between Viktor’s shoulder blades, pinky to thumb. “Viktor, please.” He doesn’t know what he’s asking for, but Viktor responds by tonguing over one of Jayce’s nipples, and Jayce lets out a really embarrassing noise, arching up into his mouth. “Fuck,” he whimpers.
Viktor brings his right knee up in between Jayce’s thighs, resting it right up against his crotch, and as Viktor raises his head, pulling away from his chest, Jayce realizes at dizzying velocity that he’s rock hard, straining against his pants. His hips jerk up, almost on instinct, and even the tiny amount of friction he gets from rutting against the point of Viktor’s knee makes him shudder.
“Look at you,” Viktor says softly. “So reactive. Sensitive.” He pinches Jayce’s nipple, nowhere near hard enough to actually hurt, but it makes him pitch forward in shock anyway.
“Don’t make fun of me,” Jayce pleads weakly, trying and failing to still the twitching of his hips. It feels like he’s hearing his own voice through a pillow or something—everything else seems far away in comparison to the immediacy of his arousal.
Cruelly, Viktor removes his leg so Jayce is left with nothing but air. “Not making fun,” he says, though his smile is a bit wicked. “You’re perfect.” He sidesteps, turning to sit on the bed next to Jayce, reaching down for the button of his own trousers. He waves one hand at Jayce. “Get undressed,” he says simply. “So I can fuck you.”
Jayce complies clumsily, struggling to pull his pants off in his haste, one shoe getting flung unceremoniously across the room. Viktor is calm and methodical beside him, politely ignoring it when Jayce nearly falls off the mattress trying to get his foot unstuck from the tangle of fabric.
Jayce may be a virgin, but he’s not stupid. “Do you have..?” he asks, gesturing vaguely.
Viktor nods, pointing at the bedside table near the head of the bed. “Can you reach that drawer? I have a bottle of lube in there.”
Jayce glances at it and simply opts to lie back on the bed and stretch his arm up to grab at the drawer handle. He has to push himself up the mattress a little, but he manages it, pulling the drawer open and rooting around until his fingers land on a bottle. He sits up, scooting back down to the edge of the bed, handing it to Viktor.
“Why do you keep lube in your bedside table?” Jayce asks, to distract himself from the fact that he and Viktor are now both completely naked, and that this is actually about to happen.
Viktor stands, raising his eyebrows at him. “Jealous, are we?”
Jayce flushes immediately. “No,” he says, even though he is, because he has absolutely no right to be. “I just, uh, I’ve heard rumors.”
Viktor just laughs. “Yes, you’re not the first boy in my bed,” he says. “But nobody recently, if that’s what you’re asking.”
Jayce doesn’t know exactly how to respond to this and decides to go with bravado. “Because of me?” he asks cheekily.
“Because of our work,” Viktor says, looking wholly unimpressed. “We’ve been a bit busy of late, if you hadn’t noticed.”
“So yeah, because of me,” Jayce says, his laughter turning into a choked-off whine when Viktor hooks his thumb into his open mouth and grabs him by the jaw.
“That’s better,” Viktor murmurs, and Jayce lets his eyes flutter closed, pressing his tongue up against the pad of Viktor’s thumb, wrapping a hand around Viktor’s bicep. Viktor hums in amusement. “You’re so pliant,” he praises. “I think you’ll let me do anything.” Jayce nods, barely having to think about it. Who else would he trust, if not Viktor? His savior, his partner, his man? “Alright.” Viktor withdraws his finger, wiping Jayce’s spit on his cheek, which shouldn’t be hot, except that it is. “It’ll be best if you turn over for this part, I think. On your stomach, please.”
Jayce scrambles to obey, flipping over and tucking his arms under his body so he can rest on his elbows. It’s a uniquely compromising position, and he feels a little too exposed for one single second before he feels Viktor’s hand on his hip, rubbing soothing circles into the skin there with his thumb. He looks over his shoulder to find Viktor looking back, his honey brown eyes almost reverent.
“Ever fingered yourself before?” Viktor asks, tone casual as if he were asking Jayce if he’s tried a specific kind of food.
“No,” Jayce admits.
Viktor just nods. “Not to worry,” he says. “I’ve got you.”
“I know,” Jayce says, and he means it.
Viktor unscrews the lube bottle, squeezing a small dollop out onto his fingertip. “It will hurt,” he warns. “But only a little. And not for long. And then I promise it will feel good.”
“Yeah, okay,” Jayce agrees, nodding. He stops himself from saying he doesn’t really care how much it hurts, that if Viktor doesn’t touch him soon he’s going to cry, maybe, or explode, or both in that order.
Viktor seems to sense his impatience anyway; he smirks to himself and presses a now-slick finger to Jayce’s perineum. “All you need to do is relax,” he tells him. “I’ll do the rest.” Jayce nods, trying to let every muscle in his body go loose, taking a deep breath.
The first few seconds are like burning. Jayce screws his eyes shut, taking sharp breaths in through his nose and tries his best not to completely seize up. It’s an entirely new feeling, and his body goes into overdrive trying to adjust. He doesn’t realize how audible his breathing is until Viktor shushes him gently.
“I know,” he says. “Relax.” He pushes his finger in a little deeper. “I can feel you clenched up around me, Jayce. Let go.”
“I’m trying,” Jayce gasps out.
“Hey,” Viktor says, soft. Jayce opens his eyes, looking at him pitifully. “I said I’ve got you.” He runs his other hand down Jayce’s back, his touch featherlight. It sends goosebumps scattering across Jayce's skin, making him shiver. “Work with me,” he coaxes. “You know how to do that.”
And yeah, Jayce does. He lets out another shaky breath and forces himself to go limp, dropping his forehead to his palms. “Sorry,” he whispers.
“It’s okay,” Viktor soothes. “That’s it. Good, Jayce.”
It’s astounding and maybe a little embarrassing, how much that one word affects Jayce. Good. He nods, half to himself. He can be good.
Slowly, excruciatingly, Viktor presses his finger in until his bottom knuckle is flush with the skin around Jayce’s entrance, stretched tight and hot with the strain. He stops there for a moment, giving Jayce a chance to catch his breath before drawing it back out. Jayce hears the slick sound of lube, and flinches when something cool hits his skin.
“Sorry,” Viktor apologizes, sounding quite genuine.
“‘S’okay,” Jayce mumbles, relaxing back into the mattress again. “Feels good, just surprised.”
With the extra lube, the glide is easier, and after a few more patient strokes, the burning sting fades into a dull ache. It doesn’t necessarily feel good yet, but it doesn’t feel bad, either. Maybe part of it is just the newness, Jayce thinks. Too much information, overloading his system.
Viktor pauses after a while, once it’s easy for him to thrust his finger in and out. Jayce waits quietly, and after a moment he feels Viktor gently working a second finger in alongside the first. The pain comes screaming back, but Viktor sinks his fingers in nice and slow, and then Jayce feels his lips against his back, and his free hand snaking between Jayce’s body and the bed to wrap around his cock.
Jayce forgets the pain then, moaning into his knuckles when Viktor thumbs at his slit, collecting the beading precome and spreading it down the length of his cock, languid and unhurried. “Hah, Viktor, Viktor ,” he grits out, trembling as Viktor drags his hand back up just as slowly. His head swims, and though he can feel Viktor’s fingers catching on his walls as he works them back out, it doesn’t really register. His cock twitches in Viktor’s hand, and he can feel himself leaking down Viktor’s palm, smearing on the blanket below.
And then, as Viktor pushes his fingers back in, he does something that rips a loud moan straight out of Jayce’s chest.
Oh, he thinks dizzily, panting. Heat pulses through his entire body. His legs feel like jelly. Oh, that’s what Viktor meant.
“Yeah?” Viktor says. At least his voice is now a little strained. “Right there?”
“Mm-hm,” Jayce agrees, twisting a little beneath him. “There, again, please.”
Viktor does it again, curling his fingers against the spot—prostate, Jayce’s fried brain belatedly supplies, dug up somewhere from the memory of an old anatomy textbook, which he never gave much thought to until now, now when pleasure sings through his entire body, sweet and electric, and Jayce can only hope Viktor’s room has sufficient soundproofing.
“Good,” Viktor says, removing his hand from Jayce’s cock, the warmth of his body disappearing from behind him. “No more distractions.”
Jayce is on the verge of complaining about the loss, but Viktor pumps his fingers, shallow at first, avoiding his prostate, and then pets over it, pressing down in a way Jayce can only describe as straight-up mean, and Jayce sobs into the blanket.
“Oh, fuck,” he cries, torn between running away from the sensation and chasing it down.
“Getting there,” Viktor quips, and Jayce kind of hates that his dumb jokes turn him on, too, except that he doesn’t really have room in his brain for anything other than pleasure now. Viktor speeds up a little, but it’s never too painful, opening Jayce up by breaking him down, one stroke at a time.
Viktor removes his fingers, and Jayce thinks maybe, finally, they’re actually getting to the part where Viktor fucks him, but all he does is add a little more lube and then squeeze three fingers in. Jayce would be more upset, but this time the stretch almost feels good by itself, the pain present but welcome, and anyway, three fingers rubbing against his prostate feels better than two, or at least he’s pretty sure. It’s getting difficult for him to keep track.
“Doing so well,” Viktor praises, and through the haze, Jayce preens. “Opening right up for me. Still feel okay?”
If Jayce had the wherewithal, he’d tell Viktor that he’s the stupidest person on the planet, but he doesn’t. He can only nod. “Yeah, yes,” he hisses out. “Mm, feels good.”
“I promised it would,” Viktor murmurs. “Just a little more.”
“Hurry,” Jayce demands, and Viktor laughs.
To his credit, it’s only a few minutes before he’s pulling his fingers out for good and telling Jayce to flip back over. Jayce does so, slowly, his vision bleary and his legs weak. When he settles again on his back, Viktor leans over him to give him a kiss. Jayce clutches at his jaw, trying to pull him closer.
“Hang on,” Viktor says, extricating himself from Jayce’s grasp.
Jayce sighs, watching him through half-lidded eyes. The reprieve is good, in a way. He can feel his arousal simmering just below the surface and has a feeling he’s not going to last much longer. And it gives him a chance to really look at Viktor.
He’s radiant. His hair is slightly tousled, swept to one side. There’s a faint blush on his cheeks, drawn to the surface from exertion. Jayce traces his gaze along his arms, down his slender waist, and finally to his cock. Viktor’s busy with the lube, so Jayce can stare as much as he likes. Viktor’s a little smaller than him, maybe, but not by a whole lot. Jayce realizes his mouth is watering a little and flushes as he imagines taking Viktor. He doesn’t know how to give head, but he has a feeling Viktor would be a good teacher. He imagines the weight of it on his tongue, or in his palm. Jayce could take both of them in his hand at once, he thinks. He imagines it—maybe in the shower, with Jayce trapped between Viktor and the tiled walls, and—
“Ready?” Viktor’s voice, cutting into his thoughts.
Jayce nods dizzily. “Yeah,” he says hoarsely. He props himself up on his elbows, mostly so he can watch, scooting a little closer to the edge of the bed so it’s easy for Viktor to line himself up with his entrance. There’s a breathless moment of complete stillness, and then Viktor sinks into him, clutching Jayce’s hip for balance.
“Oh,” Jayce breathes. He can hear his heartbeat pounding in his head. It’s like time has slowed down, moving over him like honey, as Viktor pushes in and in—Jayce already feels full, but he’s still going and somewhere in his head he does register that Viktor’s fingers are shorter than his dick, so it would make sense, but still.
“You’re so tight,” Viktor says. “Relax a little.” He brings a hand up to Jayce’s stomach, just below and between his ribs. “Take a breath.”
Jayce tries, but he doesn’t feel like he has a whole lot of control over his body anymore. Still, after a couple of breaths, Viktor bottoms out, buried deep inside him. Jayce is panting now, blinking rapidly to try and keep Viktor in focus.
“Jayce?” Viktor prompts.
Jayce fights to find his voice. “Move,” he begs. “I’m-I’m good, move.”
Viktor smiles, and does. He’s gentle with it, slow and easy, drawing his hips back and then thrusting them forward again. Jayce moans quietly, letting his head drop back so it hangs between his shoulders.
“You’re beautiful,” Viktor says, and the way he says it—not heated, not breathless. Even and calm, just stating a fact. An observation, more than anything, but tinged warm by the smile in his voice.
Another stroke, a little faster. He brushes Jayce’s prostate this time, and Jayce’s body gives an involuntary jolt. He can feel sweat beading on his hairline. He feels feverish, and unstable, but he begs, “Right there, please, Viktor, again,” and Viktor, because he’s perfect, does it, rolling his hips fluidly just the way Jayce asked, once, twice, three times—
It rips through him, sudden and fierce. Or maybe Jayce just wasn’t paying close enough attention. His eyes fly open as he curls over himself, moaning out his exhales, and he’s coming, hot strings of white release painting his stomach and spattering up Viktor’s arm. His blood is roaring in his ears and for a second the whole world disappears, and Jayce thinks he might be about to pass out. He can feel himself clenching and unclenching and clenching again around Viktor, but he’s helpless to stop it, as wave after crashing wave of pleasure washes over him.
“Jayce,” Viktor gasps.
“Fuck, I’m sorry,” Jayce babbles, which is punctuated by one last spurt of come, dribbling up and over his tip. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t even realize I was that close, I just—” And really, how could he have known? Sure, Jayce has jerked off before, but he’s never had an orgasm that felt like that—like his insides got twisted somehow, and then suddenly were let go. He falls back on the mattress, his heartbeat slowing only marginally, bringing his hands up to cover his burning face. “Shit, that’s so embarrassing,” he groans.
“Jayce,” Viktor repeats, prying his hands away. He kisses him, and Jayce is shocked by the ferocity of it. He was expecting gentle reassurance at best, maybe, but not this, not Viktor kissing him, mostly teeth and tongue, like he wants to eat him alive. Jayce’s lips throb when Viktor pulls away.
“Sorry,” Jayce repeats meekly.
“Shut up,” Viktor says. There’s a tension to his voice Jayce hasn’t heard before, that makes it kind of gravelly, which he would find extremely gratifying if it wasn’t so hot. “Stop apologizing, that was hot, fuck.” A thrill races through Jayce’s body. “My fault, anyway, prepping you like that. You just sounded so gorgeous, I couldn’t stop, had too much fun riling you up.”
“I feel stupid,” Jayce says, though he’s feeling better by the second. Viktor called him hot, called him gorgeous. Viktor isn’t angry, or annoyed, he’s fucking pleased.
“It’s okay,” Viktor says, nosing at Jayce’s neck, leaving little kisses there. “I liked it.”
“You,” Jayce says, breathless still. “You can keep going, I mean, please, please, keep going.”
“Yeah?” Viktor stills, looking up at him.
Jayce nods, somehow feeling shy with Viktor’s eyes pinning him in place. “I want—I want you to come, too,” he stammers, “and I don’t… want it to be over so fast.”
Viktor kisses his throat. “No, of course not.” He plants one hand on the mattress beside Jayce’s body and readjusts his grip on Jayce’s waist with the other. “Roll your hips up a little,” he instructs. “Lift your legs, wrap them around me. You’ll be more comfortable.”
Jayce does it, hooking his ankles one over the other behind Viktor’s back, and finds he’s right. It also means Viktor’s got a better angle, so he hits Jayce’s prostate dead-on the very next stroke, which makes Jayce convulse beneath him.
“Sorry,” Viktor says, though he doesn’t sound at all contrite.
“It’s okay,” Jayce says, determined to bear it, even though he’s overstimulated and it kind of feels like his whole body is on fire. He could withstand anything, if it meant he could stay here, wrapped up in Viktor. He reaches up, tentative at first, just pressing his palm to Viktor’s chest. Viktor doesn’t try to move away; instead, he kisses him again, keeping a steady rhythm with his hips, slow enough not to destroy Jayce completely, though Jayce can tell he wants to go faster.
He runs his thumb over one of Viktor’s nipples, just to see, and Viktor groans into his mouth. He pulls away briefly, just to say, “Keep touching me,” which is all the encouragement Jayce needs. He kisses Viktor back, getting bolder, scraping cautiously over his bottom lip with his front teeth and feeling a thrill at the responding rumble deep in Viktor’s chest. He can feel the vibrations in his fingertips. He lets his hands roam, exploring all the lines and sharp corners of Viktor’s body, everything he’s been wondering after out of the corner of his eye.
It doesn’t have to be furtive anymore, though. Jayce moans happily against Viktor’s lips at the thought. The wanting he’s kept crammed away unfurls. He takes a fistful of Viktor’s hair, not tugging too tight, just so he can hold him close. It’s a miracle, in its way, more than their science project ever was. At the same time, it feels obvious. He and Viktor have already created so many wonderful new things together, and here they are, inventing another. They’ve always been in step with one another, the perfect complement. Why should this be any different?
Jayce realizes his body has started to adjust again. Each movement doesn’t hurt as much, and he feels a warmth beginning to build again in his belly. Briefly, he considers the humiliating possibility that he’ll come again before Viktor does, but then he realizes he doesn’t really care. Besides, Viktor will probably enjoy it, he thinks, feeling a now-familiar mix of embarrassment and arousal swirl in his chest.
Viktor can tell something has changed. “Not so sensitive anymore?” he asks.
“Yeah,” Jayce confirms. “Yeah, I’m ready.”
“Okay,” Viktor says. “I’m going to fuck you properly now, but you have to stay relaxed or I think I might hurt you. Okay?”
Jayce doesn’t think he’d mind much. “Okay,” he agrees anyway.
Viktor pushes off him, grabbing his hips in both hands, and really starts thrusting into him. Jayce bites back a cry of surprise, He stares up at Viktor, feeling the heat course through his body. Viktor’s eyes are dark now, focused, the look of concentration on his face not dissimilar to one Jayce has seen countless times in the lab, that same crease between his brow.
And if Jayce thought it felt good before, it was nothing in comparison to this. Viktor’s thrusts are, if anything, deeper than before, and rough now too, which Jayce is quickly discovering he really likes. Maybe it’s that this experience has been so interlinked with pain that now the wires in his brain have crossed. Or maybe Viktor was right. Jayce will let him do anything, the more challenging the better, if for no other reason than to prove that he can. Or maybe Jayce has just always been like this, and it’s just taken the right partner for him to discover it.
Jayce doesn’t know what to do with his hands as the pressure in his stomach builds. He can’t reach Viktor in this position, though he tries, and for a moment they flutter uselessly in air between their bodies.
“Here,” Viktor says. “Bring your hand to my mouth. Palm up.” Jayce does as he’s told, raising his hand almost as if in supplication. Maybe he is begging. Viktor leans forward and spits into it and a spark of arousal lights under Jayce’s skin. “Touch yourself,” Viktor says. A command.
Jayce, flushed all over with desire and embarrassment and the general strain of being fucked, he thinks, within an inch of his life, reaches down and wraps his hand around his cock. He presses his lips together as he smears Viktor’s spit across the tip, and then down its length. It mixes with the precome just beginning to leak out, creating a slick mess in his palm. He hiccups out a moan when Viktor’s next thrust nearly punches the air from his lungs. And it feels good, it does, but it’s too much and not enough all at once.
“Viktor,” Jayce pleads. “I don’t—I’m not—”
“You don’t think you can come again?” Viktor asks. “Are you sure?” He changes the angle of his hips slightly, and Jayce feels something new bloom in his gut. “Still no?” Another thrust, this one even better than the last. Jayce’s hand moves mindlessly now, almost subconsciously.
“I don’t know,” Jayce replies. “I-I, it’s good, I just—” Viktor shifts his angle again, and this time it sends pleasure shooting through his veins. “Fuck, okay, yeah, maybe,” he amends, the words slurring together a little. His hand works over his cock as Viktor uses his hips to pull him closer, hitting the spot exactly right with every stroke now that he has his target.
He feels it coming this time, even as his arm tires, even as the sound of skin slapping against skin fills the room, the lewd wet noises only adding fuel to the fire. His face twists up of its own accord, his breaths ragged as the feeling mounts inside him.
“Close?” Viktor’s voice, somehow still so composed, almost soothing. “You look close.”
“Mm-hm,” Jayce manages. “Mm-hm, Viktor, I—” It turns into something close to a sob as his stomach contracts and he comes for a second time. He feels it, hot and sticky against his skin, shooting up as far as his chest, and then subsiding, the rest dripping down his knuckles and the back of his hand. There’s something wet on his cheeks, too, and when he opens his eyes he realizes they’ve welled up with tears and spilled over.
Viktor leans over him again, still thrusting so deep and so hard into Jayce’s spent body. He reaches up, wipes one of the tears away. “Jayce,” he whispers. “So pretty. Crying for me.”
Jayce smiles at him weakly. “Couldn’t help it,” he says. “Gonna come?”
“Mm-hm,” Viktor hums, and leans closer to kiss him just as his hips start to spasm.
The heat of it, the wetness, is like nothing Jayce has ever felt before. He groans, grabbing Viktor’s waist with his clean hand, feeling the way his hips stutter and slow. Viktor never stops kissing him.
Finally, breathless and exhausted, they break apart. Viktor straightens, though he doesn’t pull out yet, looking down at Jayce, almost thoughtful.
“How do you feel?” he asks.
Jayce would laugh if he wasn’t so tired. “What do you think?” he asks in reply. Viktor gives him a noncommittal shrug. “Viktor. That was one of the best things I’ve ever felt in my life.”
Now the self-satisfied smile creeps onto Viktor’s face. “I guess we’ll have to do it again sometime,” he says, and before Jayce can even begin to reckon with that statement, he bends low and presses his tongue to Jayce’s stomach, licking a slow, salacious stripe across his skin, swallowing the come he collected as he raises his head. Jayce whines and covers his face, which earns him a bright laugh. “For now, though,” Viktor says, finally pulling out, “I think we need a shower. And then sleep.”
Jayce wrenches himself from the bed, grumbling, and follows Viktor to his bathroom. Viktor’s leg does seize up about halfway there (“I swear,” Viktor complains, grabbing Jayce for balance. “It happens every time after a good orgasm,”) so they opt to shower together, just in case. It’s just as well, Jayce thinks, letting Viktor rinse off his stomach for him. He wants Viktor close.
They clamber into bed as soon as they’re clean and dry. The city is mostly quiet outside, so it must be late. It doesn’t matter. They don’t need to get up early tomorrow to head into the lab. They’ve made a breakthrough today— well, Jayce considers as Viktor turns off the light and joins him under the covers, maybe more than just one.
Viktor curls around him, one arm wrapped in front of Jayce, palm on his chest. Jayce takes the hand and brings it up to his mouth, brushing a kiss across the knuckles. Viktor presses his lips to Jayce’s bare shoulder.
“Goodnight, Jayce,” he whispers.
Jayce smiles, letting his eyes fall shut. “Goodnight,” he echoes, and lets sleep drag him under.