Chapter Text
“Meredith, I don’t see why I can’t.” Addison huffed as she slammed her chest of drawers shut.
On the other end of the phone, Meredith sighed. “Because, I have a surgery, and I won’t be alone.” She said, her voice pleading.
Addison rolled her eyes and she was sure Meredith heard it. “But I could get a hotel room. I want to celebrate you.” She pleaded, infusing a whine into her voice. She knew it wouldn’t work. Meredith, her stunning girlfriend of almost three years, was immune to her vocal tricks. The only thing that would get her to agree wouldn’t work over the phone. No, she needed to have her hands and lips on Meredith to get it to work.
“I know you do, baby.” Meredith’s voice was softer this time and Addison could imagine the soft pout on her lips. “But you can’t.”
Now Addison was starting to get angry. “I could spend the entire time in a hotel room, no one would know I was there. I haven’t seen you in months, babygirl.” She said, putting the phone on speaker before crossing her arms over her chest. “Why won’t you let me come to visit you?” She snapped, dropping down on her bed.
Meredith sighed. “I know. But you just can’t. Can’t you just be patient?” She asked with a huff.
Addison sighed heavily and ran a hand over her face. “Not until you give me a valid reason as to why I can’t visit you.” She snapped, trying to tamper down on her anger. And failing miserably. All she wanted to do was celebrate her girlfriend, the love of her life. She just wanted to celebrate Meredith passing her boards.
“Because I say so is a reasonable answer!” Meredith snapped and if this wasn’t quickly diverting into a heated argument Addison would’ve loved the mental image of the blonde angry. It was adorable. Angry Meredith was adorable. “Now just drop it!”
Addison’s jaw dropped. “No! Why don’t you want to see me?” She asked, feeling tears well in her eyes. Damn it. When she got angry, she cried.
“Addie.” Meredith said softly.
“Does that mean you don’t miss me?” Addison said, hating the way her voice cracked. “Mer, baby.” She could feel her heart drop in her chest. Did Meredith really not want to see her?
“I’ve said no, Addison. End of.” Meredith snapped and there was a finality to her tone. And she still hadn’t answered the question. A door slammed in the background and Addison heard somebody whispering in the background. It sounded a little like Lexie.
“Don’t you miss me?” Addison asked, trying one more time. She waited for Meredith to answer, more and more tears building in her eyes as the silence stretched out between them, filling the distance.
“I have to go, we’ll speak later.” The link clicked and then she was gone.
Addison blinked and let a lone tear spill down her face. Her mind was conjuring up the worst case scenario and she couldn’t get it to stop. For the past few months, she could feel Meredith getting more and more distant from her. Up until now she’d attributed it to studying for her boards, which her amazingly talented girlfriend had just passed. But Meredith had passed her boards two weeks ago and she was still refusing to let her visit or even come down to visit her.
Addison didn’t want to worry, didn’t want to think in the worst case scenario. But they’d been long distance for over two and a half years. They rarely saw each other more than twice a month. And she was just a naturally pessimistic person, call it life experience or whatever, but she couldn’t stop the nagging feeling that something was wrong. She really hoped nothing was wrong, that Meredith was just distracted with work. Which was entirely possible, she’d been picked to be the general surgeon representing Seattle Grace Mercy West in a conjoined twins surgery in Boise. It was an incredible responsibility and one of the many reasons Addison wanted to visit her to celebrate. But Meredith didn’t want her to.
Meredith hadn’t even answered her when she asked if she missed her. The silence and then the hasty hanging up made Addison even more nervous. It added more fuel to the fire. Surely this wasn’t the end of them.
They’d been together almost two and a half years, ever since the shooting. After Gary Clarke had shot eleven people in the hospital, Amelia had rushed into her office, rambling about Derek being shot. Addison remembered how panicked she had been, her thoughts had instantly gone to Meredith. The woman she’d been in love with for longer than she cared to admit.
Addison’s heart hadn’t stopped pounding since Amelia had told her about the shooting. The only thought in her mind was Meredith Grey. Beautiful, strong, extraordinary Meredith. She really should’ve gotten over these feelings. It had been years. But she couldn’t. Every time she visited Seattle, her hospital or her friends, she found herself seeking out Meredith. She really should’ve gotten over her feelings. Because if she had, she wouldn’t be doing this. She wouldn’t be sprinting towards Seattle Grace Mercy West, her hand locked tightly in Amelia’s.
No one knew about her feelings for Meredith, so she flew to Seattle with Amelia under the guise of being the younger woman’s support system. And in part, she was. But the biggest part of her was there to see if Meredith was okay. Amelia didn’t know, the only person she was looking for was Derek. They split at the doors to Seattle Grace, saying they’d call once they’d found him.
And Addison had run off.
Her eyes scanned the hallway a mile a minute, trying her hardest to find Meredith and the light blue eyes she loved so much. God, why was this hospital so big? She thought to herself as she finally made it to the first floor. She turned the corner, onto the neonatal wing, and then she spotted it.
A flash of blonde hair. Baby blue scrubs.
Meredith.
She didn’t want to scare her, make her jump by calling her name. In hindsight what she did next probably wasn’t the best choice. But she caught up with her and grabbed her upper arm, pulling her into a supply closet.
“What? Addison!” Meredith exclaimed, her eyes wide with fear. “What are you doing here?”
Addison winced. Now that she was there, she had no real idea what to do. “I- erm.” She mumbled, rubbing a hand over her mouth. But now, looking at Meredith, looking at her alive and breathing, the feelings she’d been pushing back suddenly burst forth. The dam broke. “You’re alive. You’re alive, I was so worried.” She said between gasping breaths, tears slipping down her face. “Meredith, I was so worried about you. I thought you were dead.” She sobbed.
Meredith chuckled and shook her head. “I’m okay, Addie.” She whispered, reaching a hand up and stroking her cheek gently. “I promise I’m okay.”
The feel of Meredith’s hand on her cheek was too much for her. She didn’t really know what happened but suddenly she was kissing Meredith. It was soft but desperate. Once her brain caught up with her mouth, she tried to pull back.
But Meredith moaned softly and wrapped her arms around Addison’s neck. She kissed back just as desperately. Her hands travelled from her neck to grasp her t-shirt in one hand and pull her closer with the other hand on the small of her back.
Addison moaned happily, her hands grasping Meredith’s hips tightly and pulling her impossibly closer. She wanted to keep kissing the blonde forever, but the need for air was too great. She pulled back, just slightly but it was enough to elicit a whine from the blonde. They were still close, close enough that when she spoke their lips were brushing. “Meredith.” She whispered softly, cupping the blonde’s cheek.
Meredith smiled happily, her lips swollen and pink. “I love you.” Her face was completely unguarded. There was none of the commitment phobic Meredith Grey Addison knew from her intern years.
“Yeah?” Addison beamed, the words coming from Meredith making her heart flutter.
Meredith’s answering smile made her giddy. “Yeah.” She breathed, leaning forward to gently brush her lips across the redhead’s.
“I love you too.”
And that was how they ended up here. Long distance for the better part of two and a half years. They’d agreed on long distance. Meredith refused to let Addison uproot her entire life, again, because of her. And Addison refused to let Meredith interrupt her internship at one of the best programmes in the country. Plus, neither of them were particularly ready for the fallout their coming out would bring upon Seattle Grace Mercy West. Her friends in LA knew, nosy buggers that they were. But Seattle Grace Mercy West was a completely different ballgame. One that Meredith still wasn’t ready to tackle. And Addison respected that. Even if now she was beginning to think the reason Meredith didn’t want everyone to know was because she was rethinking their relationship.
Addison sighed and flopped back on the bed. She looked to the side, a few more tears escaping her eyes as she cried slightly at the sight of her suitcase, the lingerie she’d bought for the blondee. She just wanted to see her girlfriend, celebrate what an excellent person she was. But Meredith didn’t want her to. She closed her eyes and rolled over onto her stomach, burying her face in the pillows, trying to fall asleep. She just needed to restart the day.
She needed to forget the argument they’d been having. Forget the fact that her relationship seemed to be breaking down. Forget the fact that maybe, the only time she’d have with the love of her life would be two and a half years. Forget all of it.
****
Meredith glared at Lexie as she missed whatever question Addison had asked her. She felt awful for lying to her girlfriend and starting a small argument, but she wanted to surprise her. The redhead was always the one coming down to visit with pretty presents and surprises. For once, Meredith wanted to be the person to do that. She wanted to be the one with the surprises.
“Meredith.” Lexie repeated her name.
“I have to go, we’ll speak later.” Meredith said before hanging up on her. She really hoped Addison wasn’t too upset. Hopefully when she found out the surprise she had planned for when she got back from Boise she wouldn’t be upset at all. She sighed and turned to her sister, pushing all thoughts of Addison and her planned surprise from her mind. “What is it Lex?” She asked as she shoved her phone into her pocket. She’d call Addison in the hotel in Boise, hopefully they’d be able to sort this out.
“Can we go over the surgery again?” Lexie asked, producing Jameson baby’s chart. She flipped it open and studied the sketch of the babies’ internal organs.
Meredith rested her head against the course brick wall and groaned. “Lex.” She groaned, closing her eyes. Her phone call with Addison had been interrupted because of this? “You know this. We’ve been over this so many times. I promise.”
Lexie shook her head. “I know but-”
Meredith chuckled at her sister’s nervousness.
Lexie was an encylopedia. Lexipedia. She knew the steps to the surgery by heart. She didn’t need to go over it. And besides, they had time on the plane. “Please, Mer.”
Meredith opened her mouth, ready to relent when her phone buzzed. She pulled it out, hoping it was Addison. It wasn’t. It was Hunt telling her to start getting ready, their plane left in the next couple of hours and that they had to be in the ER in an hour. “Can’t, we gotta go get ready. C’mon.” She hopped off the gurney.
Lexie whined slightly but got off the gurney and trailed after her sister. “Can we go over it on the plane?” She asked as they made their way through the hospital towards the car park.
Meredith rolled her eyes and chuckled goodnaturedly at her sister. “Fine. But you know this stuff, Lexie. I promise you do.” She said, giving her sister a short hug before they climbed in the car.
“We got this.” Lexie breathed out, closing her eyes.
“We got this.”