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An earnest early morning sunrise started to slip through the window in the bedroom of dark hues cheerfully, lighting up the place inside as it stretched out over the carpets below and melted into the darker colors to give off more heat and warmth as it poured over as much surface area it was allowed with the crack of the blinds. Desperate palms of sunshine tried to reach up towards the bed, to stir the sleeping figure still bundled away with promises of a happy day ahead as it tried to coax her awake.
Though the light did help wake her up, there was a begrudging noise of protest as Bagi finally stirred while her eyes peered around at the glowing room before giving into the day. She groaned softly as she felt gentle aches reverberate through her arms when she stretched them above her head, feeling them grow heavier afterwards as she rubbed out the aches throbbing around her wrists and hands. She winced, resting the heavy weights on her chest and letting out another grunt from her aches. Jesus. It’s a good soreness from playing so much, but damn. I should really try to do some more hand stretches or something.
She finally sat up with a faint growl in her stomach, rubbing out her aching wrists one last time before rolling her shoulders back and holding the stretch felt through her upper back as it clicked and flexed. She stood up and reached for the loose crewneck sitting at the end of her bed to throw it over her shivering frame, rubbing her neck as her feet dipped into the golden pond her room became with the light’s shining gleam from outside unrelenting. She huffed before combing her hair back, glancing at the baggy black shirt on her in her mirror and her tousled hair before humming and stepping out into the hallway with a click of her door.
And right away, she knocked herself into the other form in the hallway that resulted in a sleepy collision, Emi blinking sleepily up at her while stumbling back out of her way. There was a soft huff from both of them in amusement, but Bagi was quick to recover and rub Emi’s head of messy curls in greeting. “Hey, Emi.”
She seemed unphased by Bagi’s head rub, mumbling in greeting and stretching out her arms with a soft click Bagi heard from the stretch in her shoulders. Emi reached up and rubbed a dark hand over her eyes, blinking them up at Bagi before yawning. “Hi, Bagi. Did Tina sleep over?”
Oh yeah. She did again, didn’t she? Bagi’s ears flared with heat, memories going to the night before and Tina’s ditzy giggles after their post-performance drinks before she flopped onto the couch downstairs, not quite drunk but certainly a drink or two in with the heavy snores confirming it only a minute or so later. Bagi brushed some hair away from her face, reaching out to comb through the knots she saw with a weak chuckle. “Yeah. Think she’s on the couch.”
Emi’s eyes scanned Bagi’s fidgeting hands wafting through her hair, blinking slowly. Even with the sleepy clouds around her irises, Bagi felt herself tense up from the quiet calculation behind it and the pointed gleam already scrutinizing her in the early hours. Her suspicions were confirmed soon after, her sister barely hesitating as she asked, “Why doesn’t she just share your bed? She spends enough time here and you like her.”
I- Bagi’s brain practically short-circuited; a spiral of panic, yearning, desire, and guilt all piled along with other blending emotions while she practically locked up in shock at Emi’s bluntness. She gaped at her sister, the heat from her ears easily passing onto her cheeks while she tried to stammer, “That’s… No, I don’t-“
“Have you asked her?” Emi asked, not even hesitating as she shuffled towards the bathroom behind her and flicking on the light before heading over to the sinks. Bagi fumbled behind her, watching her peer into the mirror before reaching for some of her hair products, popping the cap open to one and combing the liquid substance through her curls while she eyed Bagi. It was all innocent and doe-eyed with sleepiness, watching her sister casually.
This is not- Bagi’s brain was failing to catch up or substance an excuse, her face illuminated by the pale fluorescence of the bathroom light while she shook her head vigorously. Every part of her felt frayed, sparks on every inch of skin while she could only babble in return while her face only grew hotter, “That- No, I shouldn’t-“
“Hasn’t she shared it before?” Emi didn’t back down, watching her keenly as the knowing glint in her eyes returned. She was moving robotically and in easy motion, hands running through her hair while her sister clabbered beside her. Her pale golden pajamas stood out and gave her a creamy appearance, holistic and innocent.
Except she’s not. She knows what she’s doing. Bagi shook her head once more, but her face remained alight as she gripped the counter and jabbed an accusatory finger at her placid sister. “That was one time and it was-“
“Different?” Emi cut her off with a faint arch of one of her eyes, keeping her gaze calm and curious. Bagi let out a choked noise, but Emi only shrugged and stepped closer to her, her curls starting to fall down in smoother waves while she eyed her down in an unrelenting and intent focus. ”Why? What’s different?”
There was a slip in her voice; the unspoken challenge that finally arose between the silence that fell between the two sisters. Bagi had to close her eyes and take a few breaths while she pinched the ridge of her nose, her heart fluttering drunkenly while her brain fizzled in defeat and disarray while barely being awake. There was another weak kick to her heart, one spurred as thoughts arose wryly, I must really have it bad if Emi’s this much on my ass. I really can’t have my sister outing me though, Christ.
Bagi let out a deep and long sigh, eventually opening her eyes and glaring over her fingers back at the form simply standing in front of her, now finished with her morning routine while she blinked at her older sister. Bagi eventually let out a groan beside her, pinching her nose again while she admonished, “Emi, for God’s sake. Why are you like this?”
A humorous twinkle glinted Emi’s eyes alongside a thin smile, all admissions of being fully aware of her actions and harboring no regrets. She only gave Bagi a shrug, throwing her head of curls into a messy bun and working with a few loose ends while she tutted airily, “Just wondering.”
“You have too many questions in the morning,” Bagi muttered as she stepped back, letting Emi slip by and head back towards the stairs. She glanced at herself in the mirror, adjusting the sleeves around herself and combing away a few more hairs before letting out a ragged sigh, shaking her head at the messy person in the mirror. I would’ve loved to not question my pathetic ass this morning and how hopeless this crush on Tina is. Good lord.
But Emi wasn’t letting her off of the hook as Bagi stepped back out beside her, startled by a sudden intense light in the amber glint within her gaze caught on a stray ray of light from Bagi’s room as it matched the drop in her voice, “And you’re too hesitant. Despite how obvious it all is.”
Bagi stiffened, both of the sisters eyeing each other again at the top of the stairs. They were lingering into the shadows, but Bagi saw the creeping of light grasp their ankles while she coiled up towards her sister, a sharp inhale taken through her nose. Emi only stared calmly back, a muted frown on her face that drained any ounce of fight that Bagi may have had. It made Bagi’s ears warm again, turning away while her heart sucked itself into her chest and battered weakly. She doesn’t know everything. She doesn’t get how serious this all actually is. She can’t understand that perspective unless she was an older sister or a responsible guardian.
Though it’s hard to try and protest anything when she’s giving me that kind of look. Like I’m a fool for being so cautious for it all. God dammit.
“Go get started on the pancakes, you sicko,” Bagi muttered, attempting a playful shove at Emi’s shoulders to push her down the stairs. Emi seemed inclined to let it slide, snickering softly, but there was one last pointed look from the younger girl before she started her descent down towards the kitchen. She heard her sister intentionally muffle her footsteps for Tina’s soft snores drifting through the house, the noise coasting up the stairs and into Bagi’s ears.
With her heart twisting around gently, she started gingerly down the stairs after Emi with her lips pressed and her face still warm from the conversation. She let out a worn sigh, shaking her head and brushing her hair off of her face as a few creamy curls wrapped around her fingers. She makes it all sound so easy; like I can just confess to her and have it not be a huge deal. Like Tina actually feels the same. It’s not gonna be like that; I already know some shit would go wrong somehow. I probably won’t even confess.
I just want to enjoy what we have. What we have is special, even if it’s not romantic. I just… Wanna be by her side. In whatever way possible. And now that the band is shooting up in popularity, all I want is for us not to change too much. That would be my worst nightmare; to lose what we have.
She made it downstairs as she heard Emi flicking on the stove, her eyes tracing her movements as she saw the pancake mixture in her hands before Bagi took one last deep breath, turning her gaze to the figure rolled up in a blanket on the couch with the gentle morning light stroking her head. Only her face stuck out around a mess of brown hair, but her lips were softly parted in a snooze while her eyes slipped shut peacefully. The dark green cocoon she was in moved with her breaths, shifting slightly when the oven flicked on as her face turned out towards Bagi but remained asleep.
Bagi felt her chest seize all over again, swallowing down the dryness now clotting her throat. It was too hard to repress the extra thuds in her chest, especially when a harsh twist nearly propelled her to Tina’s side as she lowered her eyes and forced her feet to stay planted where they were. God. This is getting harder and harder, though. Especially since she keeps just… Staying the night more often. But the main issue is that I love it too much to tell her to stop.
She let out a quiet sigh, shifting her eyes up to Emi’s arched glance aimed her way. She had the grace to turn away when Bagi wrinkled her nose at her, but she was quick to turn back to Tina as a soft noise left her, followed by her pale arms stretching out of her covers and stretching above her head while she yawned and slowly roused. Her gentle brown eyes creaked open, catching Bagi nearby and blinking sleepily at her until she mumbled around lips tugged by sleep but having the ghost of a smile already forming, “G’mornin.”
God. She’ll really be the end of me. Bagi didn’t suppress her smile, allowing herself to take a few tentative steps forward and stand at the foot of the couch as Tina sat herself up and brushed away her hair with a sweep of her hands. Bagi waited for her to gather herself before responding softly, “Good morning. Did you sleep well?”
Tina let out a hum of confirmation, sinking back down onto the furniture and rubbing her cloudy eyes as she gave back into the comfort of the blankets draped around her. A smile drifted onto her lips, another tug in Bagi’s chest as her friend let out a sigh of content. “Your couch is really comfy. Thanks for letting me use it.”
“Of course, anytime.” Bagi sat herself down on the edge of the couch, watching Tina reach towards the nightstand close to her and flick her phone on, scanning through her messages and typing away presumably to Fit to let her brother know she was alive. Bagi turned back towards Emi in the kitchen, positioning herself so she could rest against the back of the couch while tucking her legs into Tina’s space. Though they were still covered, she felt Tina’s legs brush hers and felt a soft zap of energy that rattled in her chest.
There was another soft grunt from Tina before she could spiral, setting her phone down and tilting her head up at Bagi as a sharp sizzle and the rich scent of maple began wafting through the house. “Emi’s making pancakes?”
Bagi nodded, a soft chime of greeting coming from Emi in the kitchen as she heard the adult’s chatter. Tina squinted her eyes, her sleepy face mixed with a smirk making Bagi nearly sink into the cushions as the other girl still bundled away chided her teasingly, “Child labor. Jail for you.”
Bagi scoffed and rolled her eyes, another lurch in her heart cutting through before she was able to find her voice as she sank in the end of the couch, pushed up against the armrest with her ears quickly warming up again. “Shut up. She likes to cook breakfast; I take dinner. You know this.”
Tina let out a ‘tsk’ as she adjusted herself, Bagi twitching in surprise and another flash of heat scouring her face when she lifted her legs up to rest them into Bagi’s lap. She gave her a crooked smile, tilting her head to rest it against the couch cushions while her eyes continued to gleam coyly in the hooded lighting. “I do. And it’s always better than your breakfast.”
Bagi sputtered from the comment, her face flushing as Emi’s singing laughter joined the sizzling of the pancakes, partnered by Tina’s blazing grin that flashed her way. Bagi shifted, trying to move out of Tina’s clasp with her legs, but another sharp jolt in her chest careened through as her friend’s legs hooked over her thighs to keep her pinned even while Bagi glowered in protest. “Why are you two so mean to me? I’m the breadwinner here!”
Tina and Emi both laughed heartily, but Emi was briefly cut off by a much sharper sizzle than before and a yelp of surprise. Bagi whipped her head up, parental instincts already firing off, but Tina was up as she unraveled herself from the thick blanket and flashed Bagi a smile before she was on her feet, shuffling over to the kitchen. Bagi lifted herself onto her feet as well and trailed after her, but she found herself easing as she heard Emi’s twin yelp of surprise and joy when Tina bundled her in her arms, beaming at Emi over her shoulder. “Mornin’, sunshine!”
Bagi softened watching the two, leaning against a wall while she watched Tina join Emi in helping with the mixture, the two girls falling into a natural rhythm as they worked side-by-side while grinning at each other. Tina started to sing some sort of song with lyrics Bagi didn’t recognize, but the way it made Emi laugh and fill the house with joy made her chest completely keel over while she looked on with nothing but love pouring through every inch of her.
I never would’ve thought I could find someone who helps and cares about Emi this way. I never trusted anyone else enough. Yet Tina does it like it’s the easiest thing in the world. It’s no wonder I fell for her.
Bagi cleared her throat and rubbed one hand against her cheek, hoping it would massage away the heat as she chimed in from the side teasingly to her sister specifically over her bouncing form over the stovetop, “You never let me help nowadays, yet you let Tina help?”
Emi tossed her head over her shoulder in an ocean of curls and batted her eyes at her older sister once more, eyes shining as the mocking innocence returned from their previous conversation in the morning. Her voice was silky sweet, feigning when she responded with an extra touch of love, “Because you suck at making pancakes.”
“Hey!” Bagi protested again, shoving herself forward into the kitchen with a hot flash of indignation making her grin flare. There was a startled cry from Emi as she stumbled away, but Tina was quick to set down her gear and bowl into Bagi before she could get a hold of her sister, her giggles making both of their frames shake and Bagi’s facade melt as she blinked down into Tina’s face beaming up at her. God dammit. It’s worse when they’re both involved.
But even as Bagi stepped back with a dramatic sigh of defeat, Emi stepped forward around Tina when the other woman let go of her as she gave her sister a faint smile, Bagi surprised to find gentleness behind her gaze. She stepped up close, her voice lowering to a softer but sincere murmur as Bagi was startled by the serious glint in her gaze, “I wanna help take care of you in the mornings. I like making breakfast, so let me do this for you. Please?”
Bagi eased seeing the care in her sister’s eyes, the soft plea within that tugged at every end of her heart strings. Tina seemed to melt as well, giving Emi a loving smile before tilting her head expectantly at Bagi, the sunlight rippling between them while Emi moved her hands instinctively to keep the pancakes going and moving them to a spare plate in stacks, a perfect golden brown. The whole scene let Bagi release the tension in her shoulders, relaxing and letting herself be swarmed in the warmth that soaked her bones.
God. What did I do to deserve this? To deserve them? Bagi finally nodded even with the natural maternal fires of protest in her chest, smiling and meeting her sister’s eyes as she finally backed out of the kitchen with a murmur of reconciliation. “Alright. Okay. Thank you, Emi.”
Emi’s eyes gleamed with her agreement, turning back to her pancakes with a happy tut. Tina flashed Bagi another smile, nudging her with her hip before she moved along back to Emi’s side as the two crowded the kitchen space together, soon filled with laughter and singing again as Bagi slid into one of the dining room chairs to rest back and listen. A smile drifted onto her face, closing her eyes and leaning into the morning light and the warmth pooling from the girls in the kitchen.
This truly is a dream come true. This is what I wish I had every day. Emi by my side and Tina… With us. With me. She reached up and rubbed her face, a soft groan leaving her lips while the smell of maple shrouded her nose. She used it to help take a few deep breaths, rubbing a spot above her eyes while her cheeks heated up as she stared at the table below her. It’s stupid. And selfish. I doubt she feels the same way; we’re probably just best friends in her eyes. I really should just settle for that.
But it’s so hard when she’s here all of the time, doing all of this… I want her here, of course, but it’s just… Making things a little more difficult nowadays to keep hidden. Maybe Emi’s got a point with her constant teasing and exasperation about us…
Tina was soon by her side in no time as the scent of the room confirmed that breakfast was hot and ready, Bagi blinking back into focus as she saw Tina with an armful of condiments for the pancakes and a few drinks sleeved into her arms as she set them down and adjusted them, the butter and syrup grouped together while the juices were assembled in a line. Bagi was about to stand to grab her own glass for her drink, but there was a gentle slap on her shoulder and a bright grin from Tina that planted her right back in her seat, watching with a weak smile as Tina soon came back with a glass for her and a happy hum of victory.
The two settled next to each other until Emi strutted her way in, the apron still wrapped around her waist as three plates of pancakes were resting on outstretched arms. Bagi let out an impressed hum seeing her balance as she slid the plates out to them in turn before settling with hers in the chair across from them, her smile plump and warm while Tina clapped enthusiastically before draping her pancakes in syrup.
Bagi nabbed the syrup bottle when she was done, a light drizzle on hers before she pocketed a forkful into her mouth. Instantly, warmth and sweetness melted on her tongue as the fluffy material made her hum louder with the delicious flavors, smiling into Emi’s expectant eyes and giving her a warm smile around her food before taking another mouthful. “Amazing as always. Thank you, pancake.”
Tina let out a twin noise of agreement around glowing eyes and her cheeks flushed from the pancake in her mouth, Bagi watching her sister’s eyes glow with light dancing from outside before she cut hers up and took a bite, chewing thoughtfully around her gentle words, “Of course. I’m happy to help. I’m glad you like them.”
The three settled in for their breakfast, but Tina was quick to lean a heated mouth close to Bagi’s ear and make her jump before the girl mumbled coyly through her food, “Wow, Bagi accepting help and let her sister do things for her without protesting. Must be a miracle.”
Bagi’s cheeks flared up as she swatted her away with an eyeroll, Tina giggling before being cheerfully diverted by her meal once more. They settled back into their seats, enjoying their feast until Bagi’s stomach was rounded from the meal with a satisfied hum. She reached for the plates around her, ready to gather them up, but Tina was quicker to leap and snag them away while sticking her tongue out at Bagi before slipping off to dispense them, the sink soon rushing with water as she cleaned.
Bagi’s face flushed and burned while she glanced over at Emi, cheeks puffed sheepishly. Emi smirked but fortunately didn’t comment, only letting her curls back down so they cascaded over her shoulders while gathering the other supplies, leaving Bagi to rub her face and shake her head while her fingers skimmed her heated lips. What the hell is going on? Did I actually wake up this morning? Why is this all happening?
Bagi stood up and slinked out to the couch, making herself comfortable there with a light shift of unease while she kept her ears pricked to the scene behind her. She listened to the clatter of the plates and splashes of water, followed by laughter from Emi as she helped Tina in cleaning the kitchen. Bagi tried to settle on one end of the couch, nerves prickling while she wrung out her hands. It feels weird to be taken care of like this… I really should go help; it’s my house, right? They can’t do everything for me…
But she was soon seated back down as Tina and Emi made their way into the living room with her, the kitchen tasks already completed before Bagi could lift herself up. Emi settled in the chair off to the side while Tina plopped down on the other end of the couch, tapping Bagi’s foot with hers while nodding over to Emi as the girl cleared her throat to gather Bagi’s attention. When the older sister glanced up, Emi leaned forward onto her toes and started combing her fingers meticulously through her hair. “I’ve got some plans in the afternoon with some friends. We’re just gonna hang at the park; Tallulah and Chayanne wanted some help filming things for their podcast.”
Bagi sat herself up more, letting her foot rest against Tina’s but having to take a moment to focus before she nodded over at Emi in permission. The younger girl immediately brightened, Bagi watching her while she folded her hands into her lap while bringing one of her knees to her chest, Tina’s foot dancing on hers still extended out as she scrolled through her phone while the sisters talked. “Yeah, sure. Is Ramon gonna be there?”
Emi tilted her head thoughtfully as her feet slid back to the floor, planting firmly there before scrolling through her phone. She took a moment to surf around on it before glancing back up at Bagi and nodding. “I think so. He didn’t really confirm it; I think he was doin’ stuff late last night with Fit, so he might be sleeping in.”
“Mm, yeah. I remember texting with Fit about it.” Bagi’s smile softened as she glanced down at her own phone, where Fit had sent a few texts and pictures with him and Ramon at an ice cream parlor after his performance the night before. She remembered Ramon’s shaky handling of the camera from the sugar rush and the ice cream smeared into his thickening mustache, catching Fit’s widened eyes in alarm but having them sparkle in joy in the photo with the same love as Ramon’s grin.
It’s been so refreshing seeing him so happy with his brother again. Fit’s completely changing now that he’s back and everything’s been aired out. I trust him again. I think he’s doing so well.
Emi slipped off of her chair, tapping a little bit into her phone before glancing back up at the two girls on the couch. Bagi cleared her throat, leaning into the cushions and melting into the easily squashed and formed pillows while she questioned, “Be back this evening?”
Emi’s eyes shone a bit brighter, glancing between Tina and Bagi for a moment before nodding to their TV set up against the wall. Her smile seemed a bit softer, genuine with excitement as she confirmed easily, “Of course. Don’t wanna miss movie night.”
“Yay!” Tina clapped earnestly, a few quick flutters of her hands before she settled into the cushions as well with a grin as the blankets shuffled from where they had loosely wrapped back around her. The blankets and cushions rippled and shifted around Bagi, making room for the two of them on the sofa while keeping their legs and feet brushing.
Bagi blinked at her, the question lingering on the tip of her tongue as her ears heated up, but Emi was the one to beat Bagi to it as her hopeful smile turned to her with a tilt of her head. “Will you be there, Tina?”
Bagi inhaled sharply but quickly, already feeling her cheeks fester in her flustered state. But Tina didn’t falter, her head turned and craned to encompass Emi in her promising grin thrown her way. She was already nodding eagerly, clapping again as her answer pooled with excitement and sincerity, “Oh, absolutely. I would never wanna miss movie night.”
Emi practically lit up, her cheeks plush with her smile as she beamed at Tina before slipping upstairs to get herself ready for her day. Bagi watched her go before shifting her gaze over to Tina, who was sliding back into the couch with a happy sigh and stretching her legs out to keep them touching Bagi with her ankles lightly tossed over Bagi’s thighs. Her gentle glow in the light accented the soft brown strands of hair falling around her face, the hazy sleepiness in her eyes washed away by a fluffed content as she scrolled along her phone. Bagi couldn’t do anything but stare, feeling her heart trying to pull out of its chest and rear towards Tina with a burn that Bagi felt sear through her lips and burn her blush further.
She’s so casual about all of it; as if it’s what she expected. As if more time with me is a blessing. She sees this all as just… A casual friend hangout? Really? And she doesn’t even know I’m going fucking crazy over it. God damn. What a fucking world.
She settled back into her seat while her heart did its best to settle after the frantic flutters, feeling her eyes invitingly trying to shut and drift off when she sank into the comfortable couch, but she was snapped back into focus by Tina putting her phone down and shifting her attention to Bagi. Her smile remained on her face as she nestled into the couch, her voice slightly muffled as she inquired curiously, “Do you have any plans for the day, Bagi?”
Bagi clicked her tongue, trying to pass her brain through the day ahead, but it was coming up short. She opened her phone and danced through her texts and her calendar, as well as flicking through some reminders as she listed off aimlessly, “Well, since Pac elected to cancel today’s meeting and just start rehearsals tomorrow with my song for this weekend, it doesn’t look like I have anything. Maybe just start browsing some song ideas for this weekend; I’ve had a list for a bit, but…”
“Can I help?” Tina offered immediately, sitting herself up and leaning forward towards Bagi. Her smile was ablaze and hopeful, already alight with only the faintest tinge of uncertainty in the corners of her eyes. The sun slanted and dipped over her, drenching her front half in light that glowed naturally in Bagi’s home. “I don’t wanna overstep, of course, if you have a certain idea of a song you wanna perform. But I think I can help out and it would be so much fun.”
Ridiculous of her to think that she even needed to ask. Bagi’s heart twinged, letting out a chuckle and chancing a tap of her foot against Tina’s as she nodded with a faint smile. “Of course you can. But you also don’t have to stick around if you don’t want to; it would be a long day at my place if you wanna stick around for that, this evening, and breakfast this morning.”
Tina didn’t seem deterred; if anything, Bagi could’ve sworn she saw more light pass through her eyes as she only met Bagi’s gaze with a more firm determination and an unwavering smile. “I want to. It’ll be fun shifting through songs.” She snapped her fingers, Bagi practically watching her mid lay itself out and work as she lifted up each of her fingers while she listed out her other ideas. “Plus we can start outfit planning too! Maybe do some shopping if we nail down the song today.”
She really knows how to make a day busy with fun tasks. Bagi’s cheeks were sore from her smile, but it was unrelenting and remained while she let her gaze linger on Tina as the other girl got her phone out and started searching through it, tapping in their plans and ideas. Bagi fiddled with her fingers, another zap of yearning energy running through them that she clamped down as they looped with her own hands instead. Maybe we could get something to eat in there too. Or just grab a coffee.
Not a date, of course. Never… Never a date. Just two girls spending the whole day together. After waking up in the same house together. Getting coffee or food and spending a good chunk of the day together. It’s casual. It’s fine.
Even as she tried to convince herself, Bagi could still feel her cheeks rush with color as she chuckled again, her voice kept as calm and as easy as she could muster, “Alright, if you’re sure. We could, uh… Go on a coffee run later too if you want if we need to go shopping. For fuel.”
Tina didn’t seem to catch onto her flustered state fortunately, glancing back up at Bagi and beaming at her briefly before her eyes landed back on her phone, already on the hunt for songs and planning their trips to come for the day. “Deal! That would be great!”
Bagi eased at her oblivion, her ears still warm from the whole ordeal as she lifted herself up and mumbled her departure about getting ready before heading up the stairs, listening to Tina ruffle through an overnight bag she had packed while she made her way up. She kept it casual; a black T-shirt with a design printed in white and jeans with a light dash of makeup, going back downstairs after her prep to see Tina in a pastel purple long sleeve, Bagi’s chest jerking at the light crop it had and letting it peek Tina’s stomach while her black tights held over her waist. Even in casual outfits, she makes them look good as hell.
Tina was casually scrolling through her phone again while she stretched out on the couch, glancing up and grinning at Bagi when she settled back into the seat she was in with her legs lightly draping over Bagi after she sat down again. Bagi’s skin practically buzzed underneath her jeans where Tina’s legs rested, the other girl unaware as she hummed quietly while on her phone even as Bagi couldn’t help but only keep her eyes on her with more spits and bursts in her chest.
Dammit. Too far gone with her. Too far. I’m gonna lose it one day, and I fear that day is soon.
Her doting was interrupted as Emi came down in a sundress decorated in shades of pink, her hair cascading down her back as she stopped at the door to slip her shoes on. Tina looked up from her phone and grinned at Emi, letting out a soft squeal and setting down her phone to give the young girl a flurry of applause. “That dress is so cute! I knew that was a good find when we picked it out!”
Emi stood up after her shoes were on, flashing Tina a matching grin before lifting her hand in a wave. Tina waved back enthusiastically, Bagi keeping hers short and electing to take on her parental role again as she noted on her departure, “Keep in touch. Phone on. Let me know when you’re comin’ home.”
Emi’s eyes glinted with faint exasperation, but she was nodding politely while she adjusted her miniscule purse at her side. Tina flashed Bagi a faint smirk before rolling her eyes, turning back to Emi with one last grin. “Bye, Emi! Have fun! We’ll see you later!”
Emi waved one last time, an extra emphasis on Tina that the older girl copied to share a laugh before she was slipping out of the house, Bagi’s ears straining to listen to her escaping steps before they could no longer hear her. She sighed and leaned back into her couch, watching Tina snuggle into the cushions across from her again and offer her a gentle smile, her voice warm with affection, “What a sweet girl. I love her to bits.”
Bagi’s chest was sucker-punched again, practically gasping and begging for some sort of release, but she stamped it all down as she let out a soft chuckle while brushing away some strands of hair toying around her face. She lifted her eyes up to where her sister had left, words quiet with an admittance that she had picked up from the morning, “I haven’t seen her this happy in a while. She’d always been a good kid, but this is the first time in a while I’ve heard her laugh this much or seen her smile as wide.”
“Think that’s your doing,” Tina observed with another smile, tapping her foot pointedly against Bagi’s again. The touch zipped through and shot up Bagi’s spine, making her shudder briefly before she was able to focus on Tina’s gentle smile again. “You being happy makes Emi happy; it’s simple.”
I highly doubt that; it’s been stressful as hell with so much shit coming from me. Bagi let out a wry chuckle, shaking her head and wincing briefly with the memories of distant yells in the back of her mind along with furious brown eyes on her before she was able to settle again. “Nah, it’s the exact opposite. Shit was stressful for a bit; that wasn’t fun for either of us.”
Tina’s eyes cleared with understanding, but her smile remained persistent as she shrugged and sat herself up, pulling her legs away from Bagi to criss-cross them as she sunk into the couch below. She reached forward and poked Bagi’s ankle with an earnest finger, however, blue eyes meeting her earnest brown gaze while she let her finger’s touch linger. “That’s understandable, but it’s all in the past now. She’s happier now because you’re happier. She feeds off of your energy.”
I sincerely hope not. A startled laugh made its way out of Bagi’s mouth as she sat up a bit, shaking her head to try and refute it with a light protest, “No she doesn’t. I hope she doesn’t anyhow; with everything that’s happened recently, even with the plus sides, those downsides were not great for me. I’d feel like shit if her emotions were based off of me.”
Tina’s gaze didn’t relent, only shimmering with understanding and patience as she nodded to her once more. She shifted closer to Bagi, Bagi tucking her knees up into her chest to let Tina shimmy her way in next to her legs and nestle between her and the back of the couch while she kept her gaze on Bagi. “You’ve gotten past them, Bagi. We all have, and we’ve been so much happier since all of that was resolved. Emi could tell and she’s happier because of it. And besides, those upsetting moments don’t define you; sure, they might’ve lingered, but it was temporary in the end.”
There was a slight hesitation in Tina’s eyes, Bagi watching her mouth open and close a few times before she spoke again, keeping her voice light as her lips tinted up with a faint smile while she added lightly, “It could also be because you’re letting her take care of you more. Think she’s been wanting to do it for a while, but was too polite to deny you doing everything for her.”
“I don’t do everything for her!” Bagi protested again, her cheeks flaring with embarrassment. Tina let out a soft laugh that sent flutters through Bagi’s chest again, Bagi slumping back and folding her arms tightly against her chest while her lips pursed at the thought. “But even with all I do, I still feel shitty for her taking care of me at all. She’s my younger sister, I need to-“
“Bagi.” Tina was suddenly sprawled out next to her, resting on her side and reaching up a hand to cup Bagi’s cheek. Bagi froze, all of her mind and body shutting down and instantly stilling under her touch as Tina flashed her a grin. She continued to laugh quietly over it all, shaking her head before trailing her thumb against Bagi’s chin and sending more alarm bells, alongside yearning, darting through her. “Don’t you dare. You don’t need to shoulder the weight of everything. She’s a big, strong girl. She can help. She’ll be just fine. And she likes taking care of you.”
Bagi’s mind was still fizzling from her touch, too dumbstruck to respond right away and allowing Tina to purse her lips again, her eyes trailing away for a moment. Bagi could see the lightest tint of color on her ears when her eyes flicked back up, an oddly shy but determined flutter on her face as she added with another light chuckle, “And I’m here too, of course. I like helping take care of her and you. I’d happily do it anytime.”
God. All of Bagi’s skin felt like it was on fire, nerves standing on end as more fire flashed through her hands and lips. She couldn’t help the brief dip to Tina’s lips her eyes took, but she was instantly pulling away afterwards, rolling her head back and slamming her eyes shut before Tina could look at her again. She knew her cheeks were aflame, feeling their heat, but they didn’t stamp down no matter how hard she tried. Get a hold of yourself, holy shit. This can’t be where it all comes crashing down.
There was a shift beside her, but Tina wasn’t moving away. If anything, she only got more comfortable as she rested her head in the crook of Bagi’s neck as she let out a soft sigh, not giving any signs of her recognizing Bagi’s internal panic as she carried on with gentleness, “I know part of that guilt is ‘cause you’re not in school anymore. I fucking love it, but I know it’s been harder for you since that was a huge deal for you.”
Right. Yeah. That too. Bagi was able to run her face with both hands before rolling it around to bump against the top of Tina’s head, resting it against hers and keeping as composed as she could with what little she had left. She rubbed her chest, where the silent ache that had been pushed off to the side festered under her touch. “Yeah. A part of me feels a little… Off with it all still. I think it’ll be better in the long run, it’ll just… Take some time to get used to it.”
She could still feel the guilt running down her spine as she passed in her papers and spoke to her advisor, seeing the shock slowly melt into understanding on their face. Bagi felt a fragment of herself remain on campus as she stepped off one last time, closing her eyes and rubbing at the ache continuing to resonate through her. It’s so weird how much of my life has changed. I thought being a detective was what I wanted; that following in my parent’s footsteps was the right way to do things.
But then the band started and took over everything. And I’m much happier than I ever was pursuing my criminology degree. Maybe that was the wake-up call I needed. I still feel a bit horrible about it, but… It really was the best choice for me.
She let out a soft groan as an anxious prickle jabbed her chest, her eyes searching uneasily around the house she lived in. Her fingers twiddled restlessly as she rested them on her stomach, her voice lingering with unease as she commented, “I’m searching around for a day job now; my parent’s funds aren’t gonna last forever, and the band isn’t making enough yet to fully cover everything. It’s nice getting some funds, but I’ll need more to take care of Emi and to keep this place.”
Tina let out a hum, reaching across and resting one of her hands over both of Bagi’s. Her fidgeting stilled, the fires at the tips of her fingers extinguished as Tina’s fingers wound through hers and brushed against her skin, still speaking as she didn’t notice Bagi’s startled rush of a pulse under her wrist, “Yeah, I get it. We can search for a job today too if you want. We can make a list of jobs you might like and start making some calls.”
God… Bagi couldn’t even try to protest or muster any sort of reaction, lost in itself as Bagi watched their hands twine and fiddle while she let out a weak chuckle and shook her head. Her words were frail behind her thudding heart as she tried to protest once more, “You really don’t have to help with that. Today’s gonna be a hodgepodge of shit. It might get a bit busy. And messy.”
Tina giggled softly in her ear, right next to it and sending more jerking impulses through Bagi’s chest and throughout her body as she nestled in further to Bagi’s side. Her fingers wound more around one hand, squeezing it before letting it rest back on her chest as she insisted with just as much affection and sincerity as before, “I really don’t mind, Bagi. I wanna spend the day with you, messy and busy as it may be. At least it’ll be done in good company.”
Good company. Bagi couldn’t see her face, but she could feel the smile pressed partially into her shoulder as she nodded slowly to her words. The world suddenly seemed to shift a bit brighter, the light draping over the couch in the late morning and casting a beam on their hands resting against each other as if in quiet reassurance. Bagi closed her eyes, her pounding chest speaking for her as she finally whispered in acceptance, “Okay.”
Even with their confirmed plans for the day, neither of them moved. Bagi practically couldn’t, Tina stuck on her and leaving her unable to get up, but the other girl only sighed and nestled in again, stretching her arms out and then curling them back into herself before a soft whisper left her lips followed by a chuckle, “We can get started soon, but I’d like to stay here for a second if that’s alright.”
God. I can’t do this. But there was no universe where Bagi told her to move, any words of protest dying on her tongue. She let out her own chuckle before sitting back on the couch, her eyes staying shut as she leaned into the warmth next to her and pouring throughout the room as she agreed without a second thought, “Yeah. Sure.”
Tina chuckled, snuggling back in with another content sigh before her body eased beside her. She didn’t try to reach for her phone or speak further, simply resting in Bagi’s side while the other finally opened her eyes to gauge the scene around her. Her and Tina, snuggled on the couch in her house with the morning light shining through and brushing over them with an affectionate glow. She could hear faint birdsong outside harmonizing with the thuds in her chest, feeling nothing but bliss wash over her beside the stammering of her chest she hoped desperately the woman beside her couldn’t hear or feel. She let her eyes drift shut again, pounds of guilt and content starting to wagering within.
I can enjoy this. I can. It doesn’t have to mean more than it is; just two friends enjoying the morning together. Just two friends. That’s all. I can be happy with this. I can. Right?
The question was never answered, Tina eventually lifting herself up and out of Bagi’s side with a breathless laugh, one shared as she struggled with the sinking sofa to free herself. Bagi sat up and shifted, letting her out, and the two were soon on their feet and out of the door as Tina initiated the drive. And with the songs that came on the radio, Bagi did her best to listen to them and the excited babbles of words Tina had poured out of her, the quiet tick in the back of Bagi’s mind while she didn’t let her attention stray from her friend for any moment.
I can be happy just being friends. Just friends.
But even as it repeated throughout the day, it would stammer each time Tina grasped her hand in the stores or threw a grin her way. It would stutter each time Tina passed her an earbud, one ear between them out to the rest of the world as they were on their hunt for a song and an outfit. It would stutter with Tina’s excited grin when they found a piece of clothing fitting her visions, when Tina’s eyes widened with awe and joy when Bagi came out later wearing the outfit to try it on, followed by the incredulous bickering and shuffling when Bagi won one fight at least by being able to pay for the outfit. Even so, Tina’s abashed smile left her defenseless and defeated in many senses.
All of the shopping and praise, all of that just as friends.
Her heart stuttered every time she smiled as they drove along, still listening to songs while they browsed the city’s districts and parked to walk around. It stuttered with Tina’s cries of protests as Bagi won another duel of being able to pay for the coffees snugly tucked into their hands while they walked, Tina sidled beside her with an arm looped through hers as she offered her a glittering smile before they moved along. It stuttered each time Tina tugged her aside to look at a site with job applications open, firing Bagi with questions to see if it would fit. And even though Bagi remained focused, all she could feel was the stutters her heart made as Tina walked with her, side by side and arms laced together as they embraced the early spring day.
Looped together, enjoying coffees, helping me look for jobs. Just as friends.
Bagi’s mind had to repeat at every turn, at every shop Tina dragged her into to grin and look at different antiques. She ignored the lurch when she picked out the tea charm Tina had doted over but eventually left, paying for it and sneaking it into her bag without her noticing as she trailed behind her. She ignored all of the lurches with their outfit trades, breath taken by each one Tina tried as she grinned at Bagi’s reactions. Bagi fiddled with the tea trinket secretly when Tina wasn’t watching her, staring down at it in her hands as her pulses rushed and her body felt lighter than ever.
The day rushed by with the two in tow with each other, Bagi deciding on their pick-up dinner and winning once again in their payment war. Tina rolled her eyes, nudging up against her, and once again resulting in Bagi having to ignore the flutters in her chest. And on the drive home, with her eyes never leaving Tina’s face as she hummed happily to the song they found for Bagi, Bagi had to tell herself over and over again.
A whole day together of shopping, getting coffee, listening to music and walking around together. A whole day. Just as friends.
But still. At the end of the day, we’re just friends.
Bagi was exhausted when she finally stumbled back into her home with Tina in tow, bags lined up along her arms filled with clothes and different items she had found and barely remembered. She saw the small box with the tea cup trinket for Tina, shuffling it around to keep it out of sight before glancing up to see Emi waving in greeting, casual clothes slung over her form as she hustled forward to take a few bags from Tina and Bagi both, the candle scent that was lit on the kitchen counter lingering from her dark green sweater in waves of vanilla and flowers.
Bagi flashed her a grateful smile as the load from her arms lessened, keeping the bag with Tina’s charm as she folded it close to her chest and nodded to Emi while she set the bags they got off to the side in the living room. “Hey, Emi. Looks like we all made it back in time for movie night.”
Emi nodded while Tina bustled over to her overnight bag at the corner of the living room, sorting through and starting to tuck away her items she collected. Emi started to move towards her, but the smell of food finally hit her as she paused and peered into the bag she took from Bagi before flashing her a bright smile. “Ooh, did you pick something up for dinner?”
Bagi hummed in confirmation and nodded, setting her bags by the stairs before taking the food from her. Emi followed her into the kitchen, starting to pull out the orders of chicken and fries before she returned Emi’s smile with a teasing smirk of her own. “Well, after you insulted my cooking, I figured I’d find something for us to eat instead. Also kinda felt like treating us tonight and lacking some energy to cook.”
Emi’s grin lit up the room while the sunset lightly grazed her cheek, nudging Bagi gratefully before starting to grab out the plates for all three of them from a cabinet above. Tina bustled her way into the kitchen when Bagi was done setting out the food, arms suddenly flung around Bagi’s waist as her chin perked on her shoulder with the grin heard oozing from each word as she crowed, “Hooray! Bagi’s the best!”
“Shut up.” Bagi rolled her eyes as her body naturally heated up from her touch, already a mesh of exhausted emotions as she shook her head. She didn’t try to wrestle Tina off, only giving her a weak smile in response and shifting under her touch as her body jolted in white-hot alarm with each trail of Tina’s fingers along her waist. God. Just friends. Just friends, I swear to God…
Tina giggled into her shoulder before finally letting her go, Bagi stepping up just in time to cut off Emi before she could get to the food. When the girl let out a muffled cry of surprise and confusion, Bagi gave both her and Tina a smirk before scraping her own plate full of food, her voice teasing and airy as she stretched her arms out to prevent either of them from dishing up, “I get to dish up first since I bought it.”
“What? No fair!” Emi complained immediately, but her eyes were sparkling as she shouldered against Bagi, nearly tipping off her freshly-served fries on the warming plate. Bagi shoved her back, hearing her yelp and Tina’s laugh afterwards before Emi tried to push her way forward again with a breathless laugh. “Youngest eat first! Sibling cruelty!”
Bagi elbowed her and stirred out another yelp, gesturing vigorously to the drinks sitting on the end of the table while she dished herself up more food. She was able to get Emi distracted enough to finish her plate, speaking over her protests with her offer, “I got you a milkshake; that’s the part of the deal.”
Emi’s protests abruptly cut off as Bagi stepped back, seeing her sister’s eyes shine before she was eager to snatch up the chocolate shake waiting for her. She took a few sips, shuddering from the chill, but her eyes were immediately rounded with joy before she nodded sagely to Bagi before getting her own plate. “I take back my complaint. You get everything you want.”
Bagi laughed heartily, glancing up at Tina when she saw her searching gaze. She had her plate of food already served up behind Bagi, leaving a plentiful amount for Emi to dig in on as she turned to Bagi with her head tilted. “Did I get one?”
Bagi laughed softly with a nod, gesturing with her chin to the milkshake with pink-tinged residue from the straw before she snagged her own vanilla one. She kept her teasing light when Tina stepped up to her, sipping up some of her vanilla before musing, “You were there with me, dummy. Of course I got you one.”
Tina grinned, shouldering up next to her and taking it with a cheer. Emi had already escaped to the living room, getting set up for their movie night, but Tina lingered beside Bagi for a moment with a trailing smile, her eyes searching her with an unreadable spark as she almost seemed to linger a bit closer to her with a gentle graze of their wrists. Bagi tilted her head at her, ignoring the lurch in her chest and waiting for Tina to move as she smiled at her quizzically. Did I do something? Why is she looking at me like that?
Another moment passed before Tina finally pulled away, blinking quickly as if to reorient herself. She gave Bagi a faint smile before turning to exit the kitchen, chatter instantly resuming as Tina and Emi talked amongst themselves. Bagi took a moment to glance down at her food and out the window beyond the kitchen table, the slanting light nearly gone as the rush of darkness started folding over the evening. Her cheeks were flushed from the thought at their proximity, at the glint in Tina’s eyes before she shook her head, taking a deep breath before heading towards where they were situated.
Probably nothing. I’m imagining things, I’m sure. Don’t act desperate. Don’t read into it.
Bagi was soon settled into the couch, everyone returning to their positions from the morning as Tina was across from her with her milkshake in her hands and Emi sprawled out on the single chair, stretched out and rocked back with a fry in her mouth. Bagi set her plate down and dug into the chicken first, munching on the crumbling piece while asking the others, “What movie are we craving tonight?”
Tina let out a harmonizing hum from her end, sipping her drink once more before setting it down and wrapping herself in the blanket resting over the couch, jerking her chin with a gleam in her gaze that matched her smile. “I’m a sucker for Barbie. It may be cheesy, but it’s entertaining.”
Emi fit another fry into her mouth, chewing thoughtfully before offering her own opinion with a faint smile and a charmed glint in her eyes, “I like Ocean’s 8.”
“Ocean’s 8?” Tina echoed wondrously, tilting her head at her. Bagi felt a mild rush of offense at her unawareness, but she stayed quiet as Emi explained the plot to her, laying it out briefly but in an entertaining fashion that had Tina interested with shining eyes as she leaned towards Emi. Bagi snatched a fry from her plate when she wasn’t paying attention, smiling quietly as she listened to them start to bicker as Tina stood her ground with her movie choice.
But as soon as Tina and Emi turned to Bagi expectantly and the conversation died off, Bagi paused with another piece of chicken hovering in front of her mouth at the silence. She dropped it slowly, eyeing them both for a moment before she sighed thinly with a small lurch in her chest. “Shit. Am I the dealbreaker?”
The two girls nodded seriously at her, their eyes boring into hers as they leaned towards her intently. They both had the same expectant gleam that made Bagi instinctively sink back, Emi’s words fluttering out of her in a gentle but intent malice from across the room as she waved a fry in front of her face before biting into it. “Choose wisely.”
Bagi pressed her lips tightly together, eyes flicking between the two with uncertainty. She could feel the answer already lingering on her tongue for a few different reasons, but she reached for the remote and turned on the TV, not speaking until the selection was highlighted in pink. Tina cheered beside Bagi, leaning up against her triumphantly while Emi let out a sigh and leaned back in her chair, shaking her head and brushing some curls aside before sipping her milkshake. “Barbie’s the winner, I see.”
“I win!” Tina cheered with another laugh, bringing her food closer and leaning her body against Bagi, wrapped up still in her blanket. She unfurled it and tossed one end around Bagi’s shoulders, her body and the blanket’s fluff helping warm her up instantly. They both leaned back into the couch, food situated in their laps as Tina burrowed right into Bagi’s side with another lurch in Bagi’s chest. “I told you Barbie’s entertaining! It’s a good movie; you’ll be glad I won when we’re done!”
Bagi’s face flushed as Emi arched an eye, watching them both for a moment before rolling her eyes, finishing up her plate before settling back into her chair with her own blanket that had been draped over the back of it. Her voice remained airy, but her eyes latched onto Bagi as she commented lightly, “I see how it is. You love her more than me, Bagi, I understand.”
Bagi froze, her body tense as her gaze sharpened when it glowered over at her along with her face exploding in crimson heat. But Tina was quick to lean towards Emi, grabbing one of her few fries left and throwing it over towards her with a grin while it tapped against Emi’s forehead. “Oh, Emi, trust me. No one is loved more than you.”
Emi let out a shout of surprise, grabbing the fry and chewing on it earnestly with a following snort of amusement. Tina settled back in, but Bagi was quick to flash her sister another stern frown before she eased back while the screen in front of them moved with the starting movie. She caught Emi’s eye roll before the TV got to work, Bagi trying and failing to ease the thrum in her chest away.
I get Emi wanting to help out with us, but I don’t wanna force it. I don’t wanna assume. We can’t assume she’d want the same thing I do.
I don’t wanna fuck this up. If I do, it could end badly for both of us; for both Emi and me. And I would much rather confess to her in a way that lets me take the fall than ruin what her and Tina have built.
The movie rolled through with no major commentary, a few comments or questions from Emi that either elicited enthusiastic answers or laughs from Tina while they watched. Bagi kept quiet, feeling the emotions from the day weighing her down as she sank back into the comfortable warmth of the blanket and the sofa, but she could feel some frayed ends peeking again with alarm and panic with Tina by her side. As the movie went further on, she only got more comfortable as Bagi ended up having more of the blanket while Tina was curled up into her lap, wiggling her way in between her legs and resting her head on Bagi’s shoulder to have it craned towards the screen. Bagi lifted one hand and let it trail over Tina’s hair absently, feeling the other girl relax and sink into her touch with another sharp twinge in her chest.
By the time the movie was done, rolling credits and muting the light around them, Emi rose up to take their plates and close up the kitchen. She left the candle offering the only substance of light before making her way upstairs with a sleepy mumble of parting echoed back to her, muffled steps and the rushing of the bathroom going as she got ready for bed. Tina didn’t move from her position sprawled in Bagi’s lap, yawning and stretching her arms briefly before settling back into Bagi’s hold. Bagi kept her hand tussling through her hair, her chest thudding as she closed her eyes with the next lurch.
Don’t ask her to stay. Let her go home. She spends too much time here; she doesn’t need to spend anymore time with you, she spent the whole day with you. Don’t be selfish. Let her go. Let her go in more ways than one, Bagi.
But Tina was in no rush to move, letting out a soft sigh as she rested on Bagi’s chest. The blanket was wrapped around her and Bagi both, Bagi feeling her eyes grow heavy from it all but waking from the anxiety pinches in her chest. With one last thick swallow, she was finally able to ask Tina quietly despite the shouting internal protests, “Were you planning on spending the night again?”
Tina let out a quiet hum, finally pushing herself off of Bagi in a sleepy fumble. Her hands pressed firmly into Bagi’s chest to boost herself off, leaning back and falling into the rest of the couch with a bounce before chuckling, blinking up at Bagi with a tired smile. “I dunno if I should. I don’t wanna impose. And it’s a weekday; I didn’t know if that was a no-no or not.”
You’ve done it before. Bagi could clearly see the days Tina got up to help Emi prep for school, never letting go of the image of Tina helping Emi with her hair for the first time as they sang along to the radio, keeping a bright attitude despite the struggles with Tina’s first time helping Emi with her hair. With that image in mind, Bagi scoffed affectionately and gave her a crooked smile before shaking her head. “Oh, please. You know it’s not; you’ve done it before.”
Tina’s face surprisingly tinted red as her smile turned more sheepish, unraveling herself from the blanket and combing through the tangle of hair messed up from the movie. She hovered at the edge of the couch, rubbing her neck while Bagi sat herself up and tossed the blanket back over the cushion, her heart thudding quietly as she could practically feel Emi’s eyes scouring the back of her head.
If you really want her, stop being so scared. And it doesn’t have to mean anything; it’s safer for Tina to stay than drive home tired. Even if she doesn’t live far. That’s all there is to it.
Bagi cleared her throat as her mind and heart fumbled together until she was internally prepared, gathering Tina’s attention again as she asked her once again with a note of softness slipping in, “Do you want to spend the night?”
Tina’s face caved, revealing a faint tint of color and a softer smile as she nodded at last, a gesture that twisted Bagi’s heart earnestly and beat away the doubts and uncertainties whispering in her mind. Tina reached down and started sorting through her clothes, flashing Bagi a faint smirk while she did so. “I can help Emi with her hair for school tomorrow too. You can sleep in.”
She doesn’t have to take my role! Bagi stood up from the couch with a weak laugh, shaking her hand and waving her hand dismissively as she stepped away towards the stairs. Her words were light as she protested, “No, you definitely don’t need to do that. I can help her with that, I don’t need to-“
A hand latched around hers, cutting her off as Tina stood up beside her with a muffled sigh from the cushions of the couch. Bagi froze, eyes blown and body still as Tina stepped up closer to her, both hands reaching for hers as she interrupted her with a firm but softened tone, “Bagi.”
Bagi instantly fell silent, waiting with a hitched breath and her heart managing a faster pace despite her exhaustion as she watched Tina’s eyes lingering on their hands before she glanced back up at her. There was no room for argument in her eyes or in her tone when she stepped forward again, closing more distance between them while the distant candlelight danced in her eyes and lit up the gentle smile tugging her lips. “I want to help her. And I want to help you. Let me help you. Please.”
How can I say no to that? How can I deny anything she asks when she looks at me like that? Bagi swallowed away the dryness in her throat, finally letting out the held breath as she nodded in acceptance. But before Tina could fully pull away, Bagi kept their hands locked as a digging desire slowly bubbled to the surface, one that she eventually gave into and took another leap with as she spoke to her quietly, “On one condition.”
When Tina nodded, tilting her head expectantly, Bagi had to clear her throat again to make sure the lump was gone before she let the words come out at last, luckily hidden by the shadows as her words fumbled out in a mildly flustered whisper, “You share my bed with me. Makes for much better sleep; it’s comfier than the couch, and the least I could do is have you get some better sleep if you plan on waking up early.”
Tina’s eyes widened slightly, blinking back at Bagi in surprise. Bagi’s chest was pricked much more intensely with panic, starting to deflate and getting ready to backtrack, but the girl across from her squeezed her hands and let out a few murmurs, holding her tightly so she didn’t pull away. There was a hint of color brought out by the candle in the distance, her ears toned a bit more crimson as she seemed more abashed and shy than anything when she gave Bagi a faint smile. “Are you sure that’s okay?”
Maybe not. But I want to anyway. Bagi nodded again, but her confidence was waning with each second. She shuffled with her steps, feeling the panic spiral starting to spin in her brain as she loosened her grip on Tina’s in an attempt to pull away, her words falling out of her in loose-lipped mumbles, “Only if you’re okay with it, though, I don’t wanna force you obviously, I just thought- I figured with-“
“Bagi.” A soft laugh came from Tina before hands wrapped around Bagi’s again to give her a firm squeeze, blinking into the soft brown eyes that geared her back down. She offered Bagi a wider smile than before, still a bit shy but much more content than before as she nodded earnestly before finally letting go of their hands. ”I’m okay with that. I don’t mind.”
She doesn’t mind. Of course. Since it’s casual and all. The insistent trails in Bagi’s mind were getting old, already worn and tired as she nodded absently, letting her words fumble out again while she tucked her empty hands into her jean pockets, “Okay. Cool.”
Tina giggled softly, giving her an amused smile before turning to her bags, sifting through her clothes again and selecting her sleepwear. Bagi stepped out of the living room and blew out the candle dancing in the light draft, using her phone for light and guiding herself and Tina up the stairs when she was ready. Bagi gestured wordlessly to the bathroom down the hall when they reached the top, Tina murmuring her gratitude before slipping in while Bagi changed to her sleep shirt and shorts in her room and settled on her bed, phone plugged in and hands folded in her lap as she sat and stared up at her ceiling.
Bagi couldn’t get a hold of her thoughts if she tried; they were calmer now due to being tired, but the rush of water from the bathroom through the wall and the idea of Tina resting beside her in her bed made her skin flare with heat unable to cool off. She rubbed her arms, doing her best to control her breaths as one hand reached up to massage at her neck with a wince. I really need to get this under control. I don’t wanna put her in an awkward spot. We’re just good friends. I can’t want anything more.
Even if she’s perfect for me in every way. Even if she’s perfect for Emi. Even if she fits into our days perfectly and seamlessly. Despite all of that, we need to just stay friends. Right? God. How did Pac handle this with my brother? Was it ever like this?
The idea of her brother was enough to sour her mind for the time being, settling onto her back and tossing the covers lightly over her legs while she brushed away her bi-colored hair with a more forced chuff of breath coming from her mouth. The sourness dissipated with Tina coming back into the darkened room, offering Bagi a smile before crawling in beside her and underneath the covers. She left enough space between them, but they were close enough to touch with a light extension of an elbow when Bagi rolled onto her side to face her. Though her heart jerked again, the sleep tugging at her eyes and inviting her in helped steady her wild heart.
Before she could fully settle in, however, Tina let out a content sigh and stretched her arms above her before they fell back down. She curled them close to her chest again, her lips still upturned when her eyes met Bagi’s as she observed dreamily, “Isn’t it crazy how much everything has changed?”
Just a little bit. Bagi’s mind was clear with her sarcasm, but she didn’t release it. Instead, she nestled her head further into one of her pillows as she stretched her legs out before curling them close, trying to retain heat from the mild nighttime chill as she wondered, “Any specific changes you’re referring to?”
Tina’s smile remained soft and blissful, rolling onto her back and folding her hands onto her chest while her sleepy eyes fixed on the ceiling wondrously. “Just… Life. Here we were just months ago, begging for a chance and hoping our dreams would come true. And now here we are, jumpstarting our career and playing in one of the biggest venues in town. Even if the stands aren’t filled yet, they’re gonna be filled someday. And they’re getting there slowly but surely.”
Bagi’s chest swelled, her panicked thoughts slowly melting away to fill with the images that Tina helped put into her mind. She could practically hear the loud strumming of her guitar and the growing cheers of the crowd, her chest warmed while she lingered in the memories. Tina tilted her head back towards Bagi, both of their lips turned up now as Tina gave her another shining look. “It’s just… Insane to me. It’s almost perfect.”
Almost perfect? There was a faint twist in Bagi, a selfish one that had the question folding up on her tongue. She tightened her jaw briefly, trying to keep it down, but curiosity and a genuine determination to assist helped stir the question out of Bagi’s mouth, “What would make it perfect?”
When Tina blinked at her, head tilted further to indicate her confusion, Bagi shifted until she was a bit closer to her, Tina rolling back onto her side to fully face her when Bagi let her words fall out a bit slower, “You said it’s almost perfect. What would make it perfect? Is there something me or anyone else in the band could do to help make it perfect?”
Would it be me? Bagi’s mind finally whispered, heart twisting faintly with guilt. But even with her guilt, the hope lingered regardless and glinted in her chest like a dying ember. Would it be us? Would it be with someone else? Can I know so it’s easier to let go?
Tina’s eyes were distant when Bagi was able to focus back on them, seemingly lost in her own mind as well. She was silent for some time, Bagi’s lips pressing together in concern, but she was soon drawn back to the present and offered Bagi a weak smile alongside a chuckle before shifting to shuffle further underneath the covers with a shrug that seemed miniscule surrounded by all of the blankets they were wrapped under. “Well, nothing’s perfect in the first place; nothing will be perfect, and that’s totally okay. I mean, everything especially with Fit…”
Bagi winced at the event months ago, but the sting that it previously had wasn’t there; instead, images of Fit’s smiling and even laughing face were filling up instead from recent times, helping Bagi ease back. Tina seemed to be in a similar state, her eyes softening as she let out a soft chuckle and an attempt of another shrug where she was slotted on her side. “But even then, that’s gotten so much better. The lil’ bumps in the road make for good character, I suppose.”
Is that what she meant by wanting perfect instead? Wanting Fit to be better? Another guilty pulse shuddered through Bagi, feeling herself curl away instinctively as she dropped her eyes down to her folded hands. Her hands reached up to shield her heart, some sort of an attempt to keep it guarded and soothed from the guilt. That would make sense. I don’t know why I thought about me. Stupid and selfish, I suppose…
Tina let out another sigh that interrupted Bagi’s guilt train in her mind, slowly bringing her eyes back up to Tina as the brown gaze across from her was distant but flaring with sparks of hope as her voice faded with longing, “But really, I guess I just wanna keep going, keep moving up with all of us. Make more money from it all, make it an actual livable gig. It’s getting there, but it’s… Not quite there yet, you know? Some more stability would make it perfect.”
She turned her gaze back to Bagi, seeing the glow festering in her eyes despite the darkness in the room that helped to light up her smile that was full of love and gratitude. “But it’s all almost there. I’ve got my brother back, I’ve got great friends… It’s all been so amazing.”
Great friends. Just friends. Bagi did her best to beat away the guilt and longing train again as her heart let out a quiet wail of protest, instead hooking onto the lingering topic as she offered Tina another weak smile before asking gently and carefully, “How has it been with him? With Fit?”
Tina’s expression didn’t waver, but it let in a pouring amount of relief that washed over her face and made it look much lighter than before. Her eyes fogged up again, blissfully wrapped in memories as she responded softly, “It’s been good. No more tension or ignoring each other. We make our coffee and just watch the birds together a lot of mornings. It’s… So peaceful. It’s almost as good as my mornings here.”
The sudden veer of her answer almost made Bagi physically react, saved by the sleepiness tugging at her body as her eyes rounded with surprise when she met Tina’s. Her ears heated up, growing warmer as her voice was sheepish when she questioned, “The mornings are better here?”
Tina rolled her eyes, the exasperation melding with affection and stirring Bagi’s heart again as she reached forward to nudge her with her knuckles. Her chuckle was light, voice filled with warmth as she responded as if it was the easiest answer in the world, “Obviously. Nothing’s better.”
Then she shifted again, rolling onto her back once more and studying the ceiling with no awareness that she was leaving Bagi a blushing mess. She continued on casually anyways, her voice starting to thicken with emotion and draw Bagi back into her watering eyes. “But it’s all been so nice. I’ve really missed him. And now… Now he’s the loving and caring brother I remember. It’s so good to see him again. I’ve… I’ve missed him so much.”
Bagi’s eyes widened briefly when she saw the welts start to trickle onto her cheeks, Tina’s hands quickly swiping away at the tears as she shook her head with a weak laugh. She covered her face from Bagi’s sights, voice muffled underneath her palms, “Shit, I didn’t wanna cry.”
Oh, Tina… Bagi was thrown back to Tina’s sobs just months before in her arms about her brother, the crushing guilt overwhelming her as she spoke about her brother’s trials. Her heavy and tearful eyes still made Bagi’s chest hurt and flare simultaneously with a protective surge, feeling the same way now as she reached one hand forward to wrap around hers. “Hey, no, it’s okay. I absolutely get it, don’t worry. I get the whole sibling thing; missing them and feeling at fault for it all.”
Tina turned her head back towards her with a wavering expression, Bagi squeezing her hands more earnestly as she added pointedly, “You’re not at any fault, by the way. I hope that’s been stamped out of your mind now.”
Tina’s body seemed to ease with Bagi’s reassurance, clouds still framed around her irises but a weak smile on her face when she gazed at her. She nodded slowly, her voice faint beside a quivering chuckle. “I… Yeah. It’s gotten better.”
“Good,” Bagi murmured, content with her answer for now as she kept their hands twined even when Tina rolled back on her side. She kept Bagi’s hand as she shimmied underneath the covers again, resting her head on the pillow and having her hair billow out around her while she blinked up at Bagi through the strands. It was an ethereal sight as she molded with the shadows and the slivers of light remaining, one that Bagi felt her chest twitch heartily to once again.
Tina shuffled a little, Bagi wrinkling her nose in bemusement at her constant fidgeting. But when their eyes met again, there was a much more noticeable tint of hesitance as Tina studied her, lips pressed tightly together. Bagi blinked, about to question her, but Tina’s words lightly dusted the air and were almost missed as she whispered her question at last, “Do you ever wish things were different with you and your brother? Do you… Ever miss him?”
Bagi stiffened immediately at the mention of him, her body chilled to the bone despite the warming body and blankets around her. Tina’s eyes flashed with panic at her reaction, more anxious shuffling heard as she tried to moved away with a few loose babbles of panic, “Sorry, I shouldn’t have- I don’t-“
“No, hey, it’s okay.” Bagi reacted merely on instinct, grabbing for her hand again and letting their fingers twine together. Tina paused, her eyes still fluttering anxiously, but Bagi gave her a silent squeeze before settling back down into the icy unease with a heavy breath coming from her mouth. “It’s… A tough question.”
Though it really isn’t. Bagi’s mind was gurgling and whispering, already shadowed by the memories creeping in. Her brother’s eyes slowly growing colder as they aged, the malice and triumphant leer when he had Pac wrapped around his fingers. The furrow when Emi was introduced to their family, the furrow increasing with each nervous twitch Pac had around him. Bagi could feel her chest flare with heat at their very last argument, hearing his screams clearly in her ears before he slammed the door.
Another shudder passed through her, her eyes slipping shut to focus back on the world around her and try to reach for the warmth instead of lingering in his icy rage. He made his choice. He forced me to make one. And when he did, I knew there was no coming back for him. It was enough to tell me who he really was.
A soft squeeze of Bagi’s fingers drew her eyes open, focusing back on Tina’s concerned expression beside her. She let out a sigh, her eyes trailing down to their hands instead while she explained with clear bitterness weaving through, “He left pretty firmly. And aggressively. And the way he hurt Pac and myself… It wasn’t worth it to have him still in my life. No thickness of blood could ever make up for what he did to Pac.”
Tina let out a soft murmur of understanding, shifting close enough for Bagi to catch the flecks of amber swimming around in her eyes while her worried look scoured over Bagi. “Were you two ever close? Before all of it?”
Bagi’s jaw clenched tighter, the weaving threads of memories starting to thicken as they reached further back. She closed her eyes, trying to see it all, but she didn’t have to imagine hearing her brother’s laugh too hard. It was somehow still in her mind after all of these years, after all of the darkness that plagued him in his final years with her. There was a sharp sting around her eyes at the thought and the echo of that noise in her mind, one that Bagi furiously stamped away.
I think that’s what hurts the most, Bagi’s mind softly spoke when it had cleared, her breaths a bit more shallow as she fought it all away. Tina’s hand was a gentle tether, giving it a tightened hold before opening her eyes again. The fact that I can still see him and hear his laugh before it all went to shit. That he chose to become the way he is. That’s what fucking stings.
“We were when we were younger,” Bagi admitted at last, but her words weren’t any more kind than they were before. If anything, they felt more soured as she gritted her teeth and ran her tongue along her teeth to try and cleanse the sourness there. “But us as kids didn’t mean shit when he abandoned us later. When he was a piece of shit when it really mattered. He made his choice; I won’t grieve for a man that isn’t there anymore.”
Tina tilted her head again, her lips pressed as another hesitant but thoughtful glint passed through her eyes as she peered at Bagi. Bagi’s face was a bit heated from the scrutiny, but Tina’s voice remained kind as she told her softly, “You can still miss what you had, though. That doesn’t make you a bad person.”
I don’t want to grieve for a man that isn’t there anymore, Bagi’s mind uttered bitterly, but there wasn’t enough heat behind it to fully convince herself as the laughter rang faintly in the back of her ears. She felt her heart clench, an ache starting to unfold with Tina’s words, but Bagi held it at a distance as she stared away instead of directly at Tina.
I understand what she’s saying, I really do. But it doesn’t do me or Emi or anyone any good by grieving him. I was left with Emi; he put that decision on me instead of helping me. He doesn’t deserve my grief.
She could feel more bitterness and anger building up, letting the heat steam over her as her words came out firm and hissing, “I don’t know how I feel about it all. But I do know that right now, I’m glad he’s gone. I don’t want him back in my life, and I especially don’t want him coming near Emi. He’s gonna have to pry her away from my dead fucking hands.”
Tina flinched from her vulgarity, but the stream was rushing through Bagi as she clamped her jaw down tighter, shaking her head as the image of her sister’s smiling face helped fuel her anger, “I don’t want him manipulating her or making her feel bad for anything; for feeling like she’s the issue he left or some sort of shit he could trick her into believing. Since he wasn’t able to take as much money since I got custody, he could use that against her and I won’t let him.”
Tina nodded, her expression much more serious and protective at the mention of Emi. Bagi could feel herself bristling again at Emi’s terrified expression all of those years ago, the polite but distant icy eyes on her from the figure that was told was her brother. How Bagi stepped up for her every time, how she stepped forward as soon as it was needed while her brother faded into the back. A snarl lodged in her throat, wrapped in fury and burning her chest as she loosened one of her hands to squeeze it painfully around the blankets covering them.
He could’ve stayed to help. He should’ve. But he never cared for her as much as I did. Everything went out the door when the band came up, when it all went to shit. Nothing mattered to him anymore. Not even when our parents died; when she was one of the last reminders of them and the good they did.
She could feel the flinted edge in her heart, taking a deep breath before her eyes flicked open to meet Tina’s, the intent stare across from her keyed on every word as Bagi finally told her with a weariness and anger shrouded within, “Emi was from one of our parent’s cases; it was a horrible case, but she made it out alive and came to us. I loved her instantly, and he gave her indifference. I don’t want my brother to use any of that as fuel to get at her or me. He’s made low-blows before, and I’ll be damned if he does it to her.”
Tina nodded once more, a matching flare of anger in her eyes as she pressed her lips tighter together when meeting Bagi’s gaze. Her words were an attempt to keep some sort of humor, but there was an undercurrent Bagi caught as she noted wryly, “Well, at that rate, I’d be charged for fucking murder. And it would be worth it.”
Bagi laughed gently, feeling some of the tension dissipate with Tina’s agreement. She did her best to settle back down, tugging back her hand to rub hers together in an attempt to generate some heat in place for the icy chill lingering. “Yeah. Me too.”
She curled her hands into her chest and settled her head into the pillow, another lull of sleep able to shove away most of the residual anger. A heavy sigh left her chest, clouds of sleep wrapping around more enjoyable images instead of the last few months as she gave Tina a weary smile. “All I know is that our lives are better now without him. I don’t need him. I have all of you guys. I’m more than happy.”
Tina’s eyes shimmered, shuffling close enough now that Bagi felt her heavier exhale on her nose. Her voice smoothed over, fluffed up as well by the lingering tug of sleep. “Well, good. I’m glad I can be here for you.”
“I’m glad you’re here too,” Bagi murmured, both of them sharing a smile in the muted darkness. She did her best to keep her eyes from straying, but she couldn’t help the skin they did skim over; the rest of Tina’s face and the trailing strands of hair over her shoulders and eyes. Or the way her eyes quickly darted to her lips and away within a few seconds time.
I’m so, so grateful for her. Not just for my sake, but for Emi’s. She’s so special, and I don’t ever want to jeopardize that. I’ll happily just be her friend if it means we get to keep this. Even if it takes me forever to get over it.
Tina’s eyes seemed to rest on Bagi as well, clouded off before she let out a quiet chuckle and stretched her back, flexing her fingers before a yawn escaped her and she snuggled back into the sheets. “Okay, well… I should get some sleep. I’m gonna wake up early to help Emi with her hair still.”
Even with the slow acceptance Bagi was trying to build with Tina’s assistance, her words sent another pang into her chest as she chuckled and shook her head at the girl beside her. “You don’t have to-“
A finger flung out to press onto her lips, Bagi blinking in surprise at Tina’s smirk over it. Her finger was soft, but it pressed firmly on her lips to keep her quiet while she giggled gently at her alarmed and flustered reaction. “Shush. I am. And don’t you dare turn on your alarm; just snooze in a lil’. I’ll take care of her.”
God. Bagi hated how much she yearned for it, how enticing it all was and how much it made her heart stir in a melting pot of gold now instead of the anger from before. With sleep and Tina’s warm eyes on her, any ounce of fight was drained from her as she closed her eyes, chuckling as she finally gave in with a silky murmur, “Thank you, Tina.”
It was easy to drift off with the warmth beside her and the blankets wrapping her up, but even with the clouds of warmth and content, Bagi was grateful that Tina’s words were the last thing on her mind before she drifted off.
“Of course, Bagi. For you, always.”
—
The audience was roaring with delight already as they filled the stadium for the next performance of the latest trending band, whispering rumors of one of the girls setting foot on stage instead of Pac once again to take the spotlight. There were a few worried murmurs, wonders of if the lead man was ill or caught a bug of stage fright, but mostly the stadium was filled with excitement for what was to come after the last performance from one of the women. They waited and watched the stage lights beam in siphons of gold and white, flickers of black shown in specks that danced on the stage’s surface and the instruments laid out as they were tested and prepared for the performance. There was no movement yet of the performers making their way on, the audience whispering in anticipation.
When the lights were darkened, beyond the point that they could see, they filled the space with their cheers and hollers as the muffled steps of the band made their way onto the stage. The lead singer was stepping up, a loose jacket over her frame and over a tight-fitted crop top as she grabbed the microphone stand and unlatched the device to hold it. It crinkled with her movement, her blue eyes shifting around to the rest of the members moving around her. They met her gaze with encouraging grins of their own before she took a deep breath, her fingers tapping a countdown while her brain was filled with nothing but exhilaration as her heart pounded surely and steadily.
Let’s get this party started.
Fit started them off with the hiss of his snares and the banging of the drums, soon followed by Pac’s lead guitar for the performance. Bagi stepped up and leaned against the stand of the microphone holder, whispering into it as the audience’s cheers vibrated and pooled around her.
“To get lucky, to get lucky, to get lucky.”
With Tina’s guitar joining in, followed by her beaming smile, Bagi stepped into the spotlight and showed off the black and white outfit she studded. Her jacket was black with imprinted designs, dark jeans showing off the white crop top underneath and the glittering black and gold makeup on her face. Whistles and cheers encouraged her on, being flanked by Pac and Tina close by as the stage bled in shiny red lighting with Bagi in the center of it all.
“Like the legend of the Phoenix! All ends with beginnings! What keeps the planet spinning! The force of love beginning!”
She kept close to the stand for now, reeling the audience in with her excited buzzing. She leaned back with the stand, eyes up towards the shifting golden lights above her as she grinned into the microphone. “We’ve come too far to give up who we are! So let’s raise the bar and our cups to the stars!”
With one last grin to the audience, the stage blared with gold and red streaks as the microphone was taken off of the stand while Bagi stepped back. She moved in time with Pac and Tina, who were testing out the new portable microphones by their mouths as their harmonies came in with Bagi. They all moved in sync, stepping in time with Bagi to the best of their ability as they shot her matching grins over their guitars while they sang behind her.
“She’s up all night ‘till the sun! I’m up all night to get some! She’s up all night for good fun! I’m up all night to get lucky!”
Bagi moved directly towards Tina instead while she took the lead, seeing a flash of surprise on her face before her grin extended out and made her eyes squinted shut with how much space her smile took. Her and Tina pressed back-to-back, eyes finding each other as Bagi’s heart soared with her grin around her microphone.
“We’re up all night ‘till the sun! We’re up all night to get some! We’re up all night for good fun! We’re up all night to get lucky!”
The song carried on, the audience enthralled as Bagi made her way around the stage to make sure each section got some isolated time. She could see the shining eyes of the audience below and the hands reaching when she knelt down towards them to sing, grinning as she let her fingers graze a few before moving along. She passed by Pac and Tina both, nudging them as she went to her different sides while her heart was aflame.
It was a fun cover they decided to perform, one that made Bagi’s heart fester as she joined back with them for the next part of the chorus. Though she felt comfortable right beside Pac, naturally feeling at home with him, being close to Tina and singing the lyrics made Bagi’s heart nearly burst from all of the energy fed into it. Even with the break she got with Pac’s guitar solo, her eyes never strayed from Tina aglow in her own similar outfit to Bagi’s as she stood directly underneath a shining beam.
I'm so lucky to have everyone, Bagi’s mind was quick to supply in the moment, eyes shooting over to Fit’s glowing eyes as he watched Pac from behind his drums before drifting back to Tina. She exhaled, fiddling with her microphone while her heart thudded on. Even if I want more with her. There’s only so much I can do before I tell her the truth.
I want her. And I want her to want me too. I don’t know if she does, but until then… Bagi’s eyes slowly found the audience again as the lights started dimming a bit, lighting her path forward for the last section before the final chorus. As she stepped forward, microphone ready, she slipped her jacket off part of the way so it dangled on her forearms, bare shoulders and upper arms exposed while her hair bounced wildly around her face and down her back.
Until then, I’m gonna keep having some fun. And maybe one day, I’ll get just a little bit lucky.
“She’s up all night ‘till the sun,” Bagi mused to the crowd, keeping her eyes forward while one of her hands rested on her hip. The instruments twanged beside her, eyes casting briefly to Pac with a grin before finding Tina’s once again. “I’m up all night to get some. She’s up all night for good fun, I’m up all night to get lucky.”
She dared just a touch to step closer to Tina, hearing the shouts of the audience and seeing the subtle arch of Tina’s eyebrows as Bagi sauntered closer to her with a glinted grin. The only distance they had was the guitar between them, the beam of light catching both of them as they were soaked in golden glory. For that moment, the rest of the stage faded away and blurred so Bagi could see nothing but Tina’s glowing eyes right on her.
“We’re up all night ‘till the sun,” Bagi continued, meeting Tina’s eyes all the while keeping a grin on her face. Though she didn’t let herself deter, there was a secret undercurrent below it all while she sang with her heart on the line. “I’m up all night to get some, we’re up all night for good fun, we’re up all night to get lucky!”
Another saunter of steps drew her around Tina, grinning as the drums from Fit intensified as the beam of light followed her. Tina’s eyes didn’t move away from hers, a surprising intensity behind them that didn’t seem to match her loose grin, but all Bagi could see was light while she kept her grin on and sang with grit and joy.
“She’s up all night ‘till the sun, I’m up all night to get some, she’s up all night for good fun, I’m up all night to get lucky!”
With the crashes of the drums and Pac’s twanging guitar behind her, Bagi took the last bit of the song to combine together as she backed away from Tina and into Pac with a grin. He supported her immediately, both of their grins lighting up their faces with kindred pulls as the three main performers went to the front of the stage, all of their voices blending and letting Bagi shine through as the last bit of the chorus came through.
“We’re up all night ‘till the sun! We’re up all night to get some! We’re up all night for good fun! We’re up all night to get lucky!”
Bagi took the lead as she strutted and spun around on stage again, letting the instruments intensify as her voice scattered and scratched in a satisfying sheen above it all. The golden and white lights spun around her, decorating her in splendor and lighting up the golden makeup around her face while she poured the rest of her heart out to the rest of the song.
“We’re up all night to get lucky! We’re up all night to get lucky! We’re up all night to get lucky! We’re up all night to get lucky!”
The last part of the song drew the guitarists back, only Bagi and Fit finishing it off as she stood in the spotlight offered to her with one fist in the air. She shot a grin at Fit as his drums were her only company for the last bit, getting a matching smile from Fit before he played her out with the flashes of light accenting the song’s departure.
“Up all night to get! Up all night to get lucky! Up all night to get! Up all night to get lucky!”
Bagi’s voice was the last thing resonating from their performance, already drowned out by cheers as soon as she was done. She lowered her microphone and grinned breathlessly at the audience stretched out beyond, seeing them already on their feet and cheering for her enough to surround her in nothing but shouts of joy throughout the entire building. Pac and Tina were soon at her side, Fit following shortly as the four of them stood and embraced another successful performance with Bagi in the center.
Bagi’s body was aglow with love and jubilee, extending a fist up to the sky while her other arm looped easily around Tina. Her laugh was clear in her ears, forever making Bagi’s heart ache, but it was an acceptable ache that she happily fostered within as the whole band soaked in the cheers and the golden light above them.
Maybe one day I’ll get lucky with Tina. To have something further. But for now, I’d consider myself pretty damn lucky to have any of this. I’ll always feel lucky with all of this.
To my new little family and to the audience beyond. Thanks for making me feel luckier than ever.