Chapter Text
Naruto stared at the pink, slightly gross looking, wiggling baby girl in her arms. The last 4 hours had been a blur of muffled screaming, indescribable pain, and blood. She was sitting on the floor of her bedroom, surrounded by ruined blankets and towels, her back leaning against the cool wall. She was exhausted, panting hard, sweat dripping down her temples, but she couldn’t bring herself to care. She spat out the washcloth she had been biting down on- using it to muffle her cries as she gave birth- and used it to gently wipe the grime and goo off the fragile thing in her arms. She placed a shaky kiss on her baby, her daughter, her family’s head, tears freely falling down her face.
She knew that her life was forever changed, knew from the instant she found out she was pregnant, but this was the moment it finally settled in. She was- she was a mother now, and she loved her daughter more than she realized she could ever love anything. Her baby, with its tuft of red hair, and large soft blue eyes- so similar to hers in shape already. Naruto briefly wondered where the baby got its red hair from. She couldn’t help but smile a bit when she saw the baby had gotten the same whisker marks that adorned her own puffy cheeks. So young, but already Naruto could see so much of herself in her.
She had been afraid the baby would look like him. Had been afraid of how she would feel, how she would react, if the baby had come out looking less like her and more like the man who… with his brown hair and black eyes.
But looking at the innocent thing in her arms, she realized it wouldn’t have mattered what the baby looked like, she would have loved it either way. No matter what.
Things were going to be harder now. She was still in the academy. She was still young, and hated, and Isolated. If people learned about her, she wasn’t convinced they would let her keep her daughter.
No one could know.
She was 11, and she was a mother, and she would sooner burn down the village then let anything happen to the only family she had ever known.
_______
People didn’t really know Naruto was a girl. In the orphanage, the matron had always cut her short, despite Naruto’s protests. She claimed Naruto was too wild, that her hair would probably end up as one big knot, and that she didn’t want to be responsible for having to brush it out. Most of the clothes at the orphanage were received through donation, so she often found herself wearing boy clothes. Although that didn’t really bother her, it was easier to run around and play when wearing shorts and t-shirts than it was when wearing skirts and dresses. And Naruto could admit, she wasn’t the most feminine of people.
All things combined, after a while people just sort of started to forget that she was a girl. When she started at the academy, She had tried correcting the teacher after class one day when he had been referring to her as a boy, but he thought she was lying and gave her detention. After that, she decided she didn't care enough to correct people anymore, she knew she was a girl, and that’s all that mattered.
The Hokage knew she was a girl, and he had been concerned at first when he realized no one else seemed to realize Naruto was a girl. But when she didn’t complain, and had told him it didn’t really bother her, the Hokage had decided that maybe it was a good thing for people to think of her as a boy. An extra layer of protection, he had thought.
She didn’t like to think of how wrong he ended up being, but he couldn’t have known what was going to happen. She didn’t blame him, she had a feeling it wouldn’t have mattered to that man anyway.
She had been cornered, shoved into an ally, on her way home one day. She was on the ground bleeding, kicked and beaten, face beginning to swell, when her clothes had torn from the onslaught. She watched, through blurred vision, the look of surprise on the man’s face when he realized; saw as it morphed into a disgusting look of glee. Like he had been given the biggest slice of cake at the party. She tried not to think about what happened after that.
After he was done, and she was left behind in that dank and disgusting ally way, she stood up and limped home like nothing happened- like she was coming back from a particularly rough workout. She went inside, tossed her clothes into the trash (they were too ripped to fix, not that she would have tried even if they were salvageable), took a long shower, made some cup ramen, did her homework, and went to bed. It felt like she was on autopilot, there but not present. If there had been an adult in her life, if someone had known what happened, they would have told her she had been dissociating. Her mind unable to process the trauma she had just gone through.
It wasn’t until the morning, when the light from outside drifted in through the window, and she finally stopped staring at the ceiling unable to sleep, that she cried. Thick, silent tears poured down her face as she stared at her hands sitting in her lap. They were unmarked. Touching her face, she felt no pain. Her arms, legs, stomach, every part that had been hurt and bleeding yesterday was healed- she’d always healed fast... There was no proof anything had even happened. No one would believe her, not when she didn’t bear the consequences of what was done to her.
Her eyes drifted to the trash can she had thrown her clothes in yesterday. The only proof that anything had happened.
Did she want to tell someone what happened? No. Even if someone would believe her, and that was a big if based on her life experience, she didn’t want them to look at her different. She didn't want this thing that happened to her to be all they ever saw when they looked at her. People already viewed her as a monster, she didn’t want them viewing her in disgust or pity as well. And the Hokage, Jiji, he would look at her with that sad look he always wore when he saw or heard someone being mean to her. That disappointed scowl that he seems to direct to the village as a whole. She couldn’t tell him, she couldn’t bear to see that face.
She looked away. She would take the trash out that morning.
______
Naruto was lucky, baby Nori was born in the winter, just after the academy ended for the year. She had the entirety of winter break to be with Nori before the new semester started. It gave her time to figure out what she was going to do, how she was going to balance going back to class. She couldn’t very well take the baby with her, not if she wanted to keep her a secret, and she had a feeling that the teachers wouldn’t be too pleased with that.
She decided she was going to need a daycare of some kind, where she could drop off Nori when she left for school and pick her up in the afternoon. It took some time, but she eventually found her solution.
She had been walking around with Nori when she met them. She was in a henge, she chose to make herself look older, around 15 (she didn’t want to make herself too old, the less she had to lie about the better). She made herself look as plain as possible. A round face, redish-brown brown hair (to try and make sure she looked at least a little bit similar to Nori) brown eyes, average height, average build. This is who she decided she would be when walking with Nori. Totally unassuming.
Naruto had wandered past a group of older women all standing around chatting outside of a small cafe restaurant. Nori was in her arms staring and smiling at every bright colour and loud noise, she was an extremely happy baby, always laughing and smiling; she barely ever cried. One of the women, Katori Naruto would later learn, coo’d when Nori sent a big smile in the women’s direction.
She ended up chatting with the women for a good half hour, all about Nori. How old she was. How she was sleeping. How the new mother was doing. They seemed a bit sad when they learned she was only ‘15’, but not judgemental. Naruto surprisingly had a really good time talking with the women, and they seemed to have a good time talking to her. They liked Yuri- which was the name she had given herself, a basic name for a basic girl.
It turned out most of the women there had kids of their own, all grown up, and she was eager to take in all the tips and tricks they could offer her. They made plans to meet for lunch at a later date, and at that meet up they made plans to meet again, and so on and so forth. Naruto eventually started seeing the ladies two, almost three times a week over the course of the winter break.
They eventually worked out Naruto’s story. Or some of it. They knew Nori had been the result of an assault; they knew Naruto was an orphan and alone; and they knew she was currently looking for daycare so she could continue her education. And Naruto, she eventually worked out the women’s stories. They were former prostitutes, and many of their own children were conceived while in the service.
It was Katori who made the offer to babysit Nori while Naruto was at school, free of charge. Apparently it was something Katori often did for the other women of the district; she liked to help where she could, and she liked to feel useful in her old age. Naruto hesitated before accepting; she didn’t generally trust people, what with her life experience, but she was a bit desperate. The new school year started in two weeks, and she still didn’t have any child care planned, this seemed like her best option. Katori was kind and gentle, alwars good with Nori, and sympathetic of ‘Yuri’s’ situation.
When Naruto accepted Katoris offer, she lied and said school started a week earlier than it did. She spent that week watching Katori from afar as she babysat Nori, ready to jump in at the first sign of danger, but Katori was a perfect caregiver, and for the first time, Naruto didn’t feel terrified at the idea of going back to the academy and leaving her daughter.
____
The first day of classes was probably the hardest day of Naruto’s life. Sitting in class, listening to the teacher drone on and on about nothing in particular. All Naruto wanted to do was run out of that classroom and make sure her baby girl was safe.
At the end of the day Naruto didn’t waste a second, booking it out of the academy and straight to Katori’s house to pick up Nori. She actually had to stop herself from barging in looking like herself and not Yuri, and then she had to stop herself from crying when she finally got the baby back in her arms.
Once she had her emotions under control, she went straight home and just sat with Nori on the couch, taking it all in. She relaxed herself with the gentle sounds of enjoyment while entertaining the little 3-month-old baby with a Jingly toy.
She sighed, being away from Nori was harder than she thought it would be, but Katori was adamant that it got easier with time. She was also adamant that it was completely normal to be nervous whenever Nori was out of her sight. She couldn’t describe how much her body relaxed as soon as she had Nori in her sights again.
Stretching her arms out and releasing the last of her tension from being in school, Naruto stood up- leaving Nori nestled between two pillows on the couch- and began to lay out a soft blanket across the floor. Picking Nori back up, she blew a raspberry into her stomach before placing her on the blanket in some well deserved tummy time. Laying down next to her, Naruto smiled at her daughter. This was hard, but damn was it worth it.
____
Something was wrong with Naruto, Sasuke was sure of it. He’d noticed it the first day of classes, and had continued to notice it every day, week after week, since. He was flighty. Not like he normally was, where it was obvious that he was bored and biding his time till he could get up and move. No, he was nervous, antsy. Subtly glancing at the clock, tapping his foot or his pencil, and sweating slightly as the day progressed. When the day would end, and the teacher would release them, Naruto would instantly shoot up and dash out of the school (when he didn’t have detention, when that happened, Naruto would angrily stay put, scowling the entire time).
Today was no different, and Sasuke was getting particularly peeved by Naruto’s inability to sit still for even a second. When the class was dismissed, Sasuke shot out of his own seat, intent on catching Naruto and confronting him before he could get away. Following the blond out of the building, Sasuke tried to catch him once he was away from the rest of their classmates (he didn’t feel like getting mauled by fangirls by hanging around too close to the school). Only, once he exited the crowd of retreating students, Sasuke couldn’t see any sign of his annoying classmate.
Upset at inadvertently being given the slip by the dead last of the class, Sasuke tried to catch the blond the next day. And the next day. And the next day after that. The entire week, every time Sasuke tried to catch the blonde after school, he was left behind in the courtyard, unable to find him.
Sasuke was furious, how was Naruto constantly giving him the slip? Where could he possibly be going that has him booking it out of the academy as soon as he was given the ‘okay’? And He hadn’t tried picking a fight with Sasuke since the new year started; that was probably the strangest part of Naruto’s behaviour, and no one else seemed to notice! Not the other students, not the teachers. Sasuke was the only one who was seeing Naruto‘s suspicious behaviour. He was hiding something, and sasuke was determined to find out what.
The next Monday, Sasuke stayed home from school, he’d feign having been sick on Tuesday. It’s not like there was anyone to verify it anyway. Hiding in the trees next to the academy a few minutes before the end of class, Sasuke waited for Naruto to inevitably dash out of the building. As soon as he spotted him, Sasuke moved. Keeping a respectable distance between himself and Naruto. Sasuke followed him, determined not to lose him in the crowd this time. That’s when things got really weird.
A few blocks from the school, Naruto suddenly took a sharp turn and dashed into a hidden alleyway, leaving Sasuke to quickly hide behind a wall and watch what happened next. Naruto glanced around to make sure no one was watching before he threw on a henge, he made himself look like an older brunette girl. She wasn’t anyone Sasuke recognized, and he couldn’t help but wonder what the idiot was up to. A prank maybe? Was that all his suspicious acting was caused by? A stupid prank? Grinding his teeth in annoyance, Sasuke stayed hidden as Naruto calmly walked out of the alleyway and bagan moving down the street. The way he moved was totally unfamiliar to what Sasuke was used to seeing from the boy. If he hadn’t seen Naruto do the transformation, he wouldn’t have had any idea it was him at all. He was moving down the street with grace and confidence Sasuke didn’t think the blonde capable of. Grinding his teeth for a new reason now, Sasuke followed him as he traveled through Konoha.
When Naruto walked up to a very unassuming apartment, and politely knocked on the door, Sasuke was beyond confused. When that door opened and Naruto walked into the building with a genuine smile plastered across his face, Sasuke nearly left, convinced that whatever this was, it was probably related to some kind of prank. But he didn’t, he had a nagging feeling like this was something important, that Naruto was putting too much effort into keeping whatever this was secret, (and if it was a prank, than it was probably a big- and most likely dastardly- Prank that Sasuke would want to be in the know of, if only to avoid it).
10 minutes later the door finally cracked open and Sasuke watched as Naruto, still henged as a girl, exited the apartment with a sleeping baby in his arms. To say Sasuke was dumbfounded would be an understatement. He watched as Naruto gave a kiss to the baby’s head and continued to walk down the street, waving goodbye to the older woman he could now see occupied the home.
Was the dobe babysitting? That must be it- the rational part of Sasuke's brain tried to make sense of what he was seeing.
But the irrational side, the side that was noticing how comfortable Naruto was with the small thing, noticed how all the people he walked by sent him waves and made comments about how big the baby was getting. That side thought there was something more going on.
He followed Naruto back to his apartment. Sasuke knew he lived there, had seen the boy walk in and out of the building on occasion by accident, had heard the people complain about living near ‘the monster’. Whatever that meant.
He hopped up to Naruto’s window, quickly getting inside before the blonde in question did, and took instant stock of what he was seeing. There were baby toys and small stuffed animals sitting on the couch, bottles lining the sink ready to wash, and a small bassinet sitting in the corner of the room. With no time to really analyze what all this meant, the door to the small apartment began to open.
Standing in the middle of the room, Sasuke watched as Naruto, still transformed as the unfamiliar girl, walked into the apartment and nearly fell over in surprise when he saw the uchiha.
“Bastard! What are you doing in my apartment” the unfamiliar girl's voice growled out, hand coming up the cover one of the sleeping baby’s ears.
Sasuke narrowed his eyes at the familiarity in which Naruto did the motion. Crossing his arms over his chests, Sasuke sent the dead last of the class a glare. “Naruto. Why do you have a baby?” He growled.
Naruto stepped back slightly, quickly glancing outside his apartment before closing the door. He hurriedly rushed to the bassinet in the corner of the room, placing the baby down, before quickly turning his attention to the intruder in his apartment. With a puff of smoke, Naruto stood as himself again, and gave sasuke a glare that the black haired boy would forever deny ever intimidated him.
“None of your business, bastard. Now what the hell are you doing in my apartment?” Naruto forced the words out through gritted teeth, each syllable was pronounced and laced with danger.
“Who’s baby is it?” Sasuke asked just as dangerously back, ignoring Naruto’s question.
Naruto just glared, making no sign that he was going to answer the question. Taking a step forward, Sasuke repeated himself in a deadly slow voice, “who’s baby is that Naruto”.
Naruto took a step to the side, keeping himself between Sasuke and the baby currently sleeping in the bassinet. He looked away, refusing to make eye contact with the other boy, “I thought I just told you, that it’s none of your business” he growled out.
“Who’s is it!” Sasuke yelled a bit louder, getting frustrated with the runaround the blonde was giving him.
“Mine!” Naruto yelled back, startling them both with the admission. Suddenly a soft whimper began emanating from the bassinet, and Naruto quickly turned his back to Sasuke. Picking up the baby and gently bouncing it, cooing at it in an attempt to settle it down before the whimpering could develop into a cry. Sasuke watched with a slack jaw.
“Yours” he repeated, voice without any obvious emotion.
Naruto spun, baby still in arms and glare in place once again, “mine” he confirmed, voice not weavering in the slightest.
Sasuke fell back slightly, hand coming up to run through his hair. He whispered ‘yours’ under his breath slightly before cracking his head up to stare daggers at Naruto, “how did you get a baby?”
“Do I have to teach you about the birds and the bees?” Naruto spat out, bouncing the Baby slightly while meeting Sasuke’s gaze head on.
Sasuke blushed slightly, “I know how baby’s are made, idiot. That’s not what I meant and you know it!” he raised his voice slightly near the end, only snapping his mouth closed when Naruto shot him a glare in warning.
Naruto sighed and looked away, gaze lingering on the baby for a second before moving to sit down at the kitchen table. He gestured to the chair across from him with the hand not supporting the now sleeping baby, motioning for Sasuke to sit down. Sasuke stiffly followed, sitting in the chair across from Naruto ram-rod straight.
“So what, you got some girl pregnant?” Sasuke asked before he could stop himself. Naruto’s head whipped up to glare at Sasuke like he was an idiot.
“No” Naruto forced out between clenched teeth. He took in a deep breath in what Sasuke assumed was an attempt to calm and steady himself.
“So then what happened” Sasuke was getting exasperated, Naruto wasn’t telling him anything and it was driving him crazy for some reason.
“Why do you even care?” Naruto ended up asking, face betraying how much he didn’t want to be having this conversation.
“I don’t” Sasuke responded in reflex.
“Then just leave! Leave me and Nori alone, and just forget you ever found out!” The blonde voice took on a slightly hysterical quality, a desperate edge.
Sasuke felt a prickle of shame, he took his own steadying breath before continuing, “So its name is Nori?”
“She” Naruto sighed.
“She” Sasuke repeated.
“Nori was- she was” Naruto took in a deep breath, a quick hand coming up to wipe some unseen wetness from his eyes before he continued, “Nori was a- was an accident, she wasn’t my choice”.
“Well, I didn’t think she was planned,” Sasuke said sarcastically, doing his best to not roll his eyes on instinct. It was so hard not to when talking with the blonde.
Naruto scoffed at the uchiha, still bouncing the sleeping baby- baby girl he now knew.
“And the mother?” Sasuke questioned.
“What- what about her” Naruto looked away at that for some reason. Sasuke couldn’t help but think he looked slightly guilty, like he was hiding something.
Sasuke narrowed his eyes at the other boy after thinking for a second, “you said you didn’t get some girl pregnant…”
Maybe Naruto had been in love with this girl, maybe she wasn’t just ‘some girl’, but someone he cared about deeply.
“I-“ Naruto began before snapping his mouth closed.
“Naruto, where is the mother?”
Did she dump the baby on him and run?
The blonde mumbled something under his breath that Sasuke couldn’t catch, pulling him out of his thoughts, “what?”.
“I’m the mother” he repeated in a higher volume, his thumb absentmindedly rubbing the baby’s cheek.
“Y- you're the mother?!” That was not what Sasuke was expecting, he didn’t know what he was expecting, but it wasn’t that. He focused his gaze back onto Naruto with a new determination. He took in the long lashes and what he was now realizing was a slightly more feminine face shape than what one would expect on a boy. His eyes moving lower he tried to imagine what he- or she he now knew- looked like under the baggy orange tracksuit she always wore, he blushed slightly when he caught himself. He refocused himself.
“Naruto, you’re the mother, you’re a girl” he said it like a statement, like he was affirming the information he was being given. Naruto nodded once in confirmation.
Okay, he could work with this, he could accept that Naruto is a- is a girl. Alright, that will definitely take some getting used to, but at least that explained where the mother was in all this. But, something else she had said earlier came back to Sasuke, something he didn’t like the implication of.
This was going to be the hard part, “okay, and the father?”. The way Naruto’s face twitched was telling, but he still needed to be sure.
“You said that having Nori wasn’t your choice” there was no question in his voice, again, he was affirming the information he had been given.
“No, it wasn't,” she took in another deep breath, “I don’t want to talk about it, what’s done is done, and I have Nori now, and I love her.” Her gaze bore into Sasuke, a fire lit in her eyes, “you can’t tell anyone about her, they won’t- I’m sure they won’t let me keep her if they found out”
Sasuke didn’t say anything, just pursed his lips slightly.
“You have to promise Sasuke, no one can know!”
He sighed, “Fine, I won’t tell anyone”
Naruto let out a breath Sasuke hadn't realized she’d been holding. He saw her arms that were holding Nori relax, her hold having tightened like she was afraid he was going to take her from her.
They sat in silence for a minute, neither knowing what to say, but eventually the curiosity won out. Sasuke had so many questions.
“Why were you hiding that you're a girl?” He eventually asked.
Naruto seemed thankful to change the topic away from Nori’s conception, “It wasn’t really my choice. At the orphanage, the matron would always cut my hair short, and eventually, when I started at the academy, all the teacher and other students thought I was a boy. I tried correcting the teacher once, but he thought I was lying. Honestly it didn’t really bother me. The Hokage eventually just asked me to just pretend to be a boy” at this she paused, a slight frown etching into her face as she let out a small shaky breath, “he thought, thought it would be safer for me if people thought I was a boy”.
Sasuke didn’t need her to tell him that plan failed, and he certainly didn’t need to tell her.
Sasuke still didn’t understand the village's hatred for the girl. For the rot to be so deep and to have been going on for so long that Naruto was asked to hide her gender, and from such a young age too. It couldn’t just be for her annoying rambunctiousness, that couldn’t be enough for the level of discrimination she faced. There were plenty of other children more annoying than her.
He shelved those thoughts for now. He moved on to the next question he had.
“How did you hide that you were, you know, pregnant?” He asked.
She scratched the back of her neck, a tic he recognized as something she did when she was nervous, “I didn’t find out for a couple of months, and I was really lucky that I never really showed much, especially with my baggier clothes, and when I started getting too big I would wear a henge, or stay home and skip class”.
She was absent from class a lot more closer to the end of the year, he had just thought she was skipping for fun.
“But what about during taijutsu practice?” Sasuke stressed, suddenly concerned about the perfectly healthy looking baby in her arms.
“Hehe, I kept getting detention, Matsumoto-sensei hates me. The slightest thing against him and he would give me cleaning duty for the rest of the week, always conveniently taking place during taijutsu practice, well known to be my favourite class of the day” she said this part with a cheeky little grin.
He stared at her for a second, comprehension dawning. How had he not realized she wasn’t present at taijutsu practice the last few months of the school year? Did anyone else ever notice?
“How old is she?” He didn't know much about babies, and he could tell she was still young, but couldn’t really tell anything past that.
“four months, she was born on January 20th” Naruto answered, a bit of pride leaking into her voice.
He was staring at the little red hair, really taking her in for the first time since he saw her exit that apartment with Nori in her arms. He was also noticing, for the first time, the baby’s matching whisker pattern, only with 2 lines on each cheek instead of Naruto’s 3. It struck him then, how much the two looked alike in the eyes, the shape exactly the same.
“She sure looks like you” he said absentmindedly.
“Yeah” Naruto sighed out with a loving air, she gently traced a finger down the sleeping baby’s nose, “she used to have really blue eyes, almost the same colour as mine, just a bit paler, but they’ve been slowly changing colour the last month or so, apparently that’s common for babies”.
Sasuke watched the gentle way Naruto stroked Nori's face, the love in her face so obvious a blind man could see it.
“Why Nori?” He couldn’t help but ask. It wasn’t a common name for sure.
“Well- hehe- I figured my name was Naruto, so why not Nori? Together we make a pretty decent pair of raman toppings”, Naruto was scratching the back of her neck again, a nervous laugh escaping her.
Sasuke stared at her for a second, the spell casting Naruto in a soft new light breaking. she was.. an idiot.
“Haaa~~” he let out a breath.
“Ne ne, don’t be like that! Look at her cute little face and tell me she doesn’t totally look like a Nori!” Naruto held the baby out for Sasuke to see, as if he hadn’t been staring at her not a minute ago.
The baby started to stir as Naruto presented her to him, and when she cracked open her big eyes, Sasuke could see what Naruto meant. Pale grey eyes looked at him, he could easily imagine the blue they used to be, before a tiny whimper escaped the infant's mouth. It soon cascaded into a full blown cry. Naruto pulled the baby back to her chest and began bouncing it again. Sasuke just stared, transfixed.
“You hungry?” She coo’d, “yes you are! It’s time for your dinner”. She looked at Sasuke for a second, an expectant look on her face. He quirked an eyebrow, unsure of what she wanted from him.
“I need to feed her” she stared bluntly, looking at him like he was a dullard.
“Right” he confirmed, still unsure of what she wanted from him. And then it hit him, a blush overtaking his face as he quickly turned around.
She huffed out a laugh.